Tantrum

Eli catches up Scarlet in his arms, wrapping them around her firmly. Hearing her muffled words and realizing she was crying, he rocks her a little before stroking her hair. "Shh... it's okay," he soothes, kissing the top of her head. "You don't have to be scared anymore."

Just holding her a few moments, he eventually pries her away, reaching to her face to wipe away some of her tears with his thumb. Then taking her by the hand, he finds the living room and the end of the couch. Sitting down, he pulls her down into his lap and wraps his arms around her again, holding her close and letting her cry more if she needed to. For now, what was going on outside went unrealized.

"Jimmy told me what happened," he explains quietly. "I understand... you don't have to be sorry." He kisses her head again. "It takes more than that to scare me away."


Justin returns Sapphire's smile and nods. "It's good there's more than three things... thank you." Giving her a little wave, he wanders back towards the exit, stopping for a moment or two to talk with Con, then finds his way back outside. The sun was still shining, but it was aiming towards the earth once more, foretelling of evening. Justin would head home now, but not before picking up something for supper for himself, along with getting some more dog food.

His half-hour drive home was a thoughtful one as he processed all he'd learned and thought about how he could use it during his time with Scott. It was at tough case with so many different angles. It almost made his head hurt just thinking about it. But he was involved now and wasn't going to give up. No, he'd see it through for sure. He wasn't one to let go this easily...


The next morning, Justin leans on the desk down by the front door of the Brookshire building, cocking his head at Jenny. Scott had not been outside where they normally met. "Scott?"

Jenny shakes her head. "Wouldn't get up this morning. I tried a couple times, finally Dr. Hawks said to just leave him and wait for you."

Justin sighs. Three good days, one bad... it wasn't a bad ratio. But he needed to get Scott up and going or he'd backslide for more than just a day. "Alright... I'll be back in a bit." Heading up the stairs, he takes them two at a time until he's on the third floor. Wandering down he finds Scott's room number and knocks. No answer. Knocking again without a response, he goes in uninvited.

Scott is curled up in bed and appears to have not even undressed from the day before. It had been nightmares... all night. And this morning had come way too soon. He didn't want to get up. He didn't want to face the day. He was on the brink of falling into that awful pit again and didn't want to step forward, lest he lose his balance and fall. No... it was safer just to stay here... in bed. The world could move on without him.

"Hey, Scott." Justin wanders to the bed and looks down at him. "What's up, hmm? Jenny said you wouldn't get up."

Scott opens his good eye to look up at him lamely and shakes his head a little. "Go away."

"Naw, sorry, I can't do that." Justin folds his arms. "You gotta get up. Come on."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"There's too much living to do outside of this room for me to let you stay. Now come on. Come outside with me."

Scott glares up at him, refusing to move. "Make me."


"No! Let me go! Put me down!" Scott fights for all he's worth, but his lack of strength is no match for Justin. Slung over Justin's shoulder like a sack of potatoes, the ride down the stairs is less than comfortable. Clawing at the wall and flailing for the railing, he knocks Justin off balance more than once.

"Cut it out!" Justin orders. "Or we'll both go head first the rest of the way down." One arm is wrapped around Scott's legs, his other hand having a tight hold on the waist of Scott's jeans.

"Put... Me... Down!" Scott screams.

As the two reach the ground level, Jenny's eyes are huge. Justin wasn't that big of a man, so seeing him hauling another man around over his shoulder was quite the sight, not to mention Scott's tantrum as they went. Jenny blinks and looks to Justin, still shocked. "Sedative?"

"What for?" By now, Justin is panting and sweating, his arms still locked in place so as not to release Scott. One of Scott's feet slips loose though and kicks out, knocking several items off the desk. "Say now," Justin chides, grabbing hold again. "You're gonna cause a mess." He calmly looks back to Jenny. "Would you mind opening the door for me?"

"I... um... sure." Jenny gets up and goes to the door to open it for him, staring after them both as they head to the open grass.

Once Justin reaches the open lot, he falls to one knee and dumps Scott on the ground. Trying to catch his breath, he studies Scott with purpose. "I had planned something else for today, but now I'm worn out."

"Good," Scott growls as he sits up, trying to get his bearings after being upside down. "I'm going back inside."

"Be my guest. But as soon as I catch my breath, we're doing this all over again."

"That's your problem." Scott gets up a bit unsteadily and heads back across to the housing.

Justin shakes his head and sighs, watching him go. Ten minutes later, it's an exact replay of the entire thing, except this time Scott's a little louder and more insistent. Once he's dumped on the ground for the second time though, his energy is just about spent. "What is with you?" he hisses. "Grab me like that and I'll report."

"I don't care," Justin retorts. "Ready for round three?"

Scott was not. He was too tired. Pulling his legs up close, he puts his chin on his knees. "Why did you make me come out here?"

"Because the sun is shining, Scott. Look." Justin gestures to the sky. "Because the breeze is blowing... feel it. Because spring is in the air... smell it. Because the birds are singing... listen."

Scott closes his eyes and refuses to take the advice. But he can't help but hear. He can't help but feel. "So what?"

"If you don't recognize it, I'm not going to waste my breath."

"But you still drag me out here."

"I'll set you right down in the middle of life," Justin replies. "But no one can make you live." He'd brought a backpack and soccerball when he'd arrived in the first place, so now reaches into the bag and pulls out two apples. Keeping one, he tosses the other to Scott.

Scott looks down at it with little interest. "I'm not hungry."

"What's eating got to do with being hungry?" Justin shrugs. "I eat it 'cause it's good for me, not because my stomach's asking for it, or because my tastebuds are begging for it. If that were the case, I'd break out my chocolate bar instead."

Scott knew good and well that Justin was just trying to get him to eat. He hadn't had anything since yesterday lunch... maybe it would be alright if he had an apple. His stomach would handle it better than the chili that was on the menu for today's lunch. Grudgingly, he takes the apple and crunches into it with a little bite. "So why did you really drag me out here? I'm not happy about it, you know."

"I know. Doesn't hurt my feelings any." Justin chews on his own apple thoughtfully. "Why do you think I brought you out here?"

"Don't start that question garbage with me."

Justin shrugs. "Alright."

Scott rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah... you brought me out here for all that sunshine and fresh air I'm missing in my room." He nibbles on a little more of his apple.

"Well if you knew, why did you ask?"

Scott sighs. "I don't know."

"Wanna play soccer?"

"Not really."

"Hard night?"

"No, I just wanted to stay in bed for the fun of it," Scott retorts. "You just shoulda left me alone. I'm in no mood for this today."

"For what?"

"This." Scott gestures around him, only to realize that he's gesturing at fresh air and sunshine. It sounded pretty pathetic that he wasn't in the mood for good things like that. His expression changes to one of slight sheepishness. "I'm pretty miserable to be around, aren't I?"

"Mm..." Justin nods. "Yeah, pretty much. Why do you think I brought a soccer ball? At least I can have a little fun, even if you're insisting on being miserable."

Scott eyes him with suspicion. "So when are the real sessions gonna start?"

"Real sessions?"

"Don't think I'm that stupid. You're just trying to be my friend, get me to trust you, then one of these times, we'll sit down and you'll start picking my brain about how I'm feeling and how I'm dealing with this stage of my life."

Justin looks at him lamely. "Don't make me puke. I hate sessions like that."

"Then why are you here? Just to play games?"

Justin sighs deeply. "I'm here to be your friend. You want out of here, and I want you out of here. If we work together as a team, we can meet both those goals. I can't do it on my own, and you can't do it on your own either."

"Who says I can't?"

"Well then prove it and let's get out of here."

Scott shrinks back again. He knew that he needed to be here because he hadn't been able to pull through on his own. "Alright... so I need help. Why are we playing games then?"

"It's good exercise." Justin tosses his apple core into a nearby trashcan. Retrieving his soccer ball, he lets it roll back and forth between his feet as he slowly nudges it a ways away, noting that Scott was following him. A few minutes of gentle kicking back and forth and Justin speaks again. "So. Hard night. Nightmares?"

Scott grits his teeth and kicks at the ball. "Yeah."

"Do you have one that always comes back?"

"Maybe."

Justin can feel him pulling back so he waits, just letting them kick the ball a little while longer. "I used to dream about the night my best friend was killed. While I was in college. He was murdered and I saw the whole thing. Still haunts me once in a while."

Scott's eyebrows rise just a little. "And you just... ignore it or what?"

"Not really. It bothers me. But I just gotta keep reminding myself that there was nothing I could do about it. It was just... one of those things. And I learned to let it go."

"How?"

"Time. And I had to make the choice to do it." Justin kicks at the ball. "I blamed my emotions... said I couldn't help the hate and anger and guilt I felt. But then one day I realized that all those things... they were my choices. I was choosing to hate because it made me feel in control. I was choosing to be angry because then I didn't have time to be sad. I was choosing to harbor guilt because then I could take out my sadness on myself and stay hidden in my own little world."

The ball has stopped at Scott's feet and he stares back at Justin a little confused. "You can't just choose the way you feel."

"Can't I?" Justin holds out his arms. "I can choose to be miserable today. My truck wouldn't start, my dog tore a hole in my jeans and I got here just to realize I'm almost out of gas. Those things are irritating, but I've chosen to enjoy the sunshine anyway. Being miserable doesn't do any good." He cocks his head. "Sometimes it takes a while for us to think through our trials before our emotional reactions... but in the end, it's our choice. I choose to forgive. I choose to love. I choose to hate. What I do with my thoughts and feelings is under my own control not my circumstances."

"But you can't decide you're not gonna be sad or upset when someone dies."

"It's my initial response, yes. But why? Because of what I thought beforehand. Thinking always comes before the emotion. Once I've thought through it, I choose how I am going to react by way of an emotional response. Do I not have the control to find the good instead? The pain might always linger. But that doesn't mean I have to continue being upset. I just have to make up my mind to deal with it. Conquer it. I cannot let my emotions control me."

"But what about if a friend betrays you. Wouldn't you be mad at them?"

"Well I'm only human. But I don't have to be mad at them. I might be upset and disappointed... but if I get mad at them and hate them, I'm letting the circumstances rule my response instead of taking control. It's not easy. But we all have the ability to change our reactions. Sometimes it takes a while. It could take me five minutes to decide not to be mad anymore, or it could be five weeks. But once I've decided... then it's up to me to do it. Deciding to actually change my own attitude - that's the hard part."

Scott rests his foot on the ball. "So you're telling me that I can just choose to not be angry at the Agency or myself anymore. That I can just decide it and that's that."

"I thought we were talking about me."

Scott smirks a little and gives the ball a hearty kick. "Right."