12/28/10

Tell me to shut up

Still staring into the dishwater, Herb's words sink in deeper than Carson would like to admit. For some reason, hearing that the older man was proud of him struck a buried chord. Perhaps it was because Carson had never heard those words from the one person he should have - his father. Perhaps it was the sudden realization that Herb was more than a friend... more than a mentor. Growing up with an abusive father, when he was even around, Carson had rarely received affirmation, other than when encouraged to do what was wrong. At the time, he hadn't realized how much he was missing out on. But now... a part of him wondered what it would have been like, had he been raised by someone like Herb... someone with love and understanding... someone with a gentle hand, but firm believes in the Truth. How much different would Carson's life have been? How many fewer regrets would he have today?

The sink becomes a blur, and Carson swallows hard. He reaches for one of the pans and a scrubber to wash it - a distraction from the small tears that he willed not to fall. And all of this... the pride... the guidance... all of it coming from a man whose daughter Carson had helped torture. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Coffee sounds great," he agrees quietly. Was it that obvious that he was struggling with temptation tonight? Did Herb know he was fighting his despised craving? Carson knew the answer was yes. Herb had always been able to read him like an open book, even when others couldn't.

"Let me finish up these dishes and then we can close up for the night and go."

It didn't take long, and Carson left a few things undone that he normally did at night, but he didn't want to make Herb wait too long or keep him out too late. He'd take care of everything in the morning before opening up again.

The Coffee Bean was open late, so that's where they agreed to go, Carson following Herb in his own car. On he way, he grabs his cell phone once again, dialing Misty. He lets her know he's going out with Herb for coffee and will be home just a little bit later than planned. There was a whole lot more he wanted to say to her... to talk to her about. But it would have to wait until he got home. He knew she'd be able to sense it in the tone of his voice, so he just lets it be for now, knowing she'd wait up for him.

Getting to the coffee shop, Carson finds a table in the corner for Herb and himself, and after settling in with their warm drinks, he finally dares to look at Herb, letting his eyes speak for themselves for several quiet moments.

"Thank you..." He purses his lips in thought. "For knowing what I needed." He didn't need to say any more... Herb knew.

Taking a slow sip of his coffee, he sighs and stares down into the hot liquid. "I wish Mac hadn't found me," he muses. "I don't understand why she can't be happy with her family. Her coming to see me just makes it harder on her. And then she flies off the handle anyway, so what does she gain? It wasn't a pleasant experience for her the last time. Why did she try again?"

He rubs his forehead, feeling the stress of the day. Yes, it was a good thing Herb was with him now, or tonight could have been a night for stumbling.


Alec sighs deeply and leaves his face buried between Ryan's neck and shoulder. "I wouldn't mind that," he mumbles. "But then you might be too tired to drive tonight. And then I'd lose my bet. So maybe I should let you get up."

With his grin hidden from her view, he plants a series of kisses to her neck before pulling back and looking at her again. His eyes were still sleepy, but he was slowly waking up. "Besides all that, I had an exciting day I wanted to tell you about." He leans in and kisses her nose. "I got to meet my niece today. Well, by the time I found out it was her, Carson was telling me to leave, but still." His lips curl into a wry grin. "I got to be Uncle Alec for a few minutes anyway."

Giving her one last quick kiss to the lips, he finally sits up, freeing Ryan. Sliding off the bed, he ambles to the kitchen, stretching and yawning. Opening the fridge, he didn't see anything he really wanted, but he reaches for the lemonade anyway. Taking a swig out of the carton, he wipes his mouth on his sleeve. "Cute kid though," he muses aloud, not realizing that this wasn't his usual type of conversation. "Kinda nice when somebody hasn't figured out yet that I'm the bad guy."


Justin cringes a little and tries to take Beth at her word so he didn't keep apologizing like he wanted to. She didn't appear to be upset, and obviously she hadn't been too mortified or she wouldn't have stuck around and... wait, had she just said she hadn't minded at all?

For a moment, he almost forgets he's on the phone. Did that mean she didn't care because she knew he was sick and it simply didn't bother her, or did it mean that she hadn't minded as in she had liked it? It was impossible to tell over the phone without seeing her eyes. The phone. The phone!

He snaps back to attention. "Okay." Did he sound as idiotic as he thought? What was wrong with him? He runs a hand through his hair, trying to get back on a halfway-intelligent track. "So you... you still okay with coming over again tonight? I mean... since I'm in my right mind now and all and wouldn't ever..." His voice trails off again. Would he never? What kind of a question was that?! What was he thinking?!

Realizing he'd just drifted into silence again, he gives a little groan. "Beth, can you just tell me to shut up before I make any more a fool out of myself?"


"Con, I'm fine."

"Well if you need-"

"I'm fine."

"Just-"

"Conrad!" Though Laura shoots her brother a look, there's still love and appreciation in her eyes. "Get out of here and get to work before Reese fires you for taking so much time off."

Con sighs. He knew she was alright now. He knew that Nate would be watching her like a hawk. He knew that Janet was right next door. He knew that Maggie knew what to do if something was wrong. But he still worried anyway. "Alright," he relents. Leaning over the bed, he gives her forehead a kiss. "I'm still gonna call tonight."

Laura rolls her eyes. "You do and Nate's gonna come after you."

"What for?"

"Not trusting him to take care of me."

Con grins. "We've been through that so many times, it's old hat by now."

"I know. That's the trouble with you men."

"Yeah, but you can't live without us, can you?" Con ducks a flying throw pillow and backs out of the bedroom. "Okay, okay, I'm going."

Watching her brother leave, Laura shakes her head and smiles. She did love her brother so much, even when he was overprotective. He and Nate still did go around sometimes, but it didn't seem to be quite as harsh anymore. Maybe they'd finally come to a silent understanding that both would always worry and look out for her. She got annoyed with them sometime but... how could she be upset with them for wanting to make sure she was alright?

Sinking back into her pillows, she lets out a long sigh. She was still so tired. Even after several days in the hospital after waking up, getting home seemed to trigger weariness in every bone in her body. It had been quite a shock to wake up and realize what a scare she'd given everybody, not to mention the weeks that had passed. Knowing that she and the baby were now on the mend though, she knew everything would be okay.

Turning her head, she rolls onto her side and looks down into the little cradle where their baby boy was sleeping. Already it had been proven he could sleep through anything and Laura was thankful for that. She hadn't been able to be the first to hold him, but it didn't matter. She loved him anyway, and she loved Nate. Life would be different now... so very different. And she was still uncertain about how she would manage but she knew she had the best man to help her along.

Rolling onto her back again, she pulls up the covers a little more under her chin. She could hear Nate moving about and knew he would probably stay home with her for a couple days. She felt badly that he'd missed so much work, but she couldn't help but be a little glad that he'd stay with her for a while. She wasn't ready to be alone yet.


Mick sighs as he leans back in the office chair, tapping his leg with a pencil as he listens on the phone. A couple hours away from the ranch with Rosetta had been much needed and his mind felt much clearer now. Unfortunately, stressful circumstances were still waiting when he'd returned.

"So it's been confirmed that it was the Agency."

"Yes," Reese responds with confidence. He had no doubt in Scott's information. "Do you think they'll try to go after Dylan again?"

"I don't know... I really don't know. I mean, we're all pretty capable of keeping an eye on things, and you know all of us here are reasonably skilled when it comes to defending ourselves. But at the same time, we're all busy and distracted most of the time too."

Reese thinks for a few moments. "What about setting up a post again?" It was only recently that they'd felt confident enough to remove the outer post on the edge of the ranch and utilize the Elite agents elsewhere. "Or do you think that makes a difference?"

Mick shrugs to himself and swivels in the desk chair. "I know the system was good and it definitely kept more eyes in places we couldn't be, but even then, it was possible to slip under the radar - that was proven more than once. And I wouldn't doubt but by now the Agency would know the post was there anyway. I think they were in the dark there for a while, but surely by now, they've figured it out."

"True." Reese rubs his chin thoughtfully. "How about a security guard?"

"You mean on the ranch grounds?"

"Yeah. Someone who wouldn't be involved in most of the other work - someone who can just make their rounds and keep an eye open so the rest of you don't have to look over your shoulders all the time. I mean, we could send an army, but-"

"That would take away our freedom," Mick finishes knowingly. The last thing the families wanted to do was lock themselves in and live in fear.

"Exactly. What about your guests? Your clients? Do you ever fear for them?"

"Rosetta and I have talked about it. We both pretty much feel the same way, that the guests aren't who the Agency is after, and most likely, the Agency won't waltz in here guns blazing. So we pretty much keep the whole thing under wraps. And, sometimes, like now, we get two or three families here at once that keeps us busy and distracted, but sometimes we've only got one individual for several weeks, and having an army posted here at a time like that would be overkill."

"Agreed." Reese continues to think. "So what about one security guard?"

"I think that might be a good idea. I mean, it's one more pair of eyes at least, but wouldn't be overbearing. You got someone?"

"Not at the moment." Reese reaches in one of his filing drawers and pulls out a file of personnel records. "But... Brown gave me a list a week or two ago of police officers he wanted me to check out for possible Elite training." His finger runs across one name in particular. "Do you care if it's a man or woman?"

Mick chuckles. "If anybody knows women are capable agents, it's me." He glances across the office in time to catch Rosetta's eye and he tosses her a wink. "What about Katie?"

"No... no, I don't want to put her in that position, working and not being able to spend time with family, not to mention I don't want her that far from Jason and I want him here."

"Right. Well whoever you send can't work twenty-four/seven."

"No, but even just making rounds at night will help - that's one less thing you guys would have to worry about."

"True."

Reese flips through several records, but comes back to the one he'd looked at before. "Tell you what, let me do some investigating and I'll get back to you. At the very least, since you all declined being part of the Elite, if we post an officer there, it'll give us a little more leverage, law-wise."


"Alright. Sounds good. Thanks, Reese."

"You bet."

Hanging up the phone, Mick sighs. He doodles on the desk calendar for a moment before looking over to Rosetta again. "It was the Agency that went after Dylan," he confirms, in case she hadn't figured it out from the one-sided conversation. "Reese is suggesting we post an Elite agent here just to keep an eye on things. I think that's not a bad idea. What do you think?"