Face to Face

Letting out another long sigh Angel shakes her own head and brings a hand up to her head. Her head was thobbing and Jeff's poor attitude wasn't helping. He didn't care and it was clear to her that he didn't want the help. There were many other people at this ranch who wanted, and were thankful for her help right now Jeff was not one and wasting her supplys and time was not worth it. Even if it did hurt her to think that.

   "Forget it Jeff...You don't want my help than I wont give it anymore."

Going over to Jeff and seeing the drip bag was almost empty Angel unhooks the IV and takes the needle from his arm placing a cotton ball on the wound as it trickled out. Placing everything back into her bag she glaces to Katie and gives her a look of sorrow. She was sorry this was happing she really was.

   "I can only do so much with someone wont help me help himself. You wont have to deal with me anymore but when your daughter has a new pain in her heart because her father is laying in a hospital bed dieing way before he has to maybe than you will wish you listened. Good Luck Jeff, if you change your mind you know where to find me."

Turning and taking her bag Angel pass by Katie stopping and putting a hand on her shoulder.

   "Sorry Katie."

Continuing on her way Angel lets the door fall shut behind her as she heads back to her office and enters. Throwing her bag into one of the chairs she goes to her desk and sinks down in the chair just leaning her hand in her hands. 

She'd never given up before and now she just felt like she had failed. Even if Jeff was being thick headed should she have kept trying? What was the point if all her time was just going to go to wast and her words floated some where in the wind. Had she done what was right?

 Looking down at her food Katie moves some chips around on her plate before putting on in her mouth. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know what to say. She didn't want to look up at Jeff for fear she might break down and cry right there, but she didn't want to leave him either. How come things here seemed so messed up too? Why wasn't life so simple anymore?

Getting into the house Beth looks up at the clock. It was late but not to late and she wondered if Justin was still awake. The rest of her night with Zach had been good and after dropping her back off at home a little hug was offered Beth was certain they would still be good friends and for that she was thankful.

Slipping her shoes off and grabbing her phone she dials Justin's number. Waiting for him to answer she can't help but smile. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him over the phone or drive all the way out to his house. Maybe in person was better than on the phone.

   "Hey Justin, I know its late but I was wondering if you would like some company. I would like to talk to you and face to face I think...would be better."

Attitude

Mick nods his agreement. "I think calling Jay is a good idea. See if Jeff was like this before. If not, then maybe we can narrow it down to something that happened right after he got back." 

Surely it wasn't the fact that Katie was here. Jeff loved his daughter more than anything else. It had to be something else. Something they weren't seeing. But what?

As Angel speaks, Jeff's mouth turns up at one corner and he shakes his head. She wanted to give him depression meds... but didn't think he was depressed? Really? He didn't believe it. And to top it off, it was his choice? 

Still smirking, he eyes the IV before looking back at Angel. "Well, since you're the doctor, I guess I should say yes, right? 'Cause if I say no, I'll just have a pack of hyenas on my back telling me what to do anyway. Swallowing a couple pills is easier than dealing with you lot." 

He shrugs lamely before picking up his sandwich and taking a little bite - mainly just so they'd see him eat something. "Give me whatever you want, Angel. I won't promise I'll take it but if it'll get you to quit fussing over me then it'd be worth it." 

Justin sits on his couch, feet tucked under him and a throw pillow hugged to his chest. The movie on television was stupid, but it was just one of those that after seeing the first part, even though it was ridiculous, he had to see what would happen. 

His eyes do drift to the clock again though, noting it was getting late. His phone had been silent. Not that he thought Beth would call him or anything... though he did wonder how her date had gone. And he wondered... would she choose to continue dating Zach?

Might Help

Looking to her husband Rosetta could tell he was really worried. She had been worried about Jeff lately too. His mood and everything had just been off. With Katie being home she thought for sure Jeff would be different but it just didn't seem to matter and her heart went out to both of them.

   "Maybe after lunch I'll give Jay a call and ask him how Jeff was there. Any hint on whats going on is better than nothing."

If anyone could undertstand how hard it was to slow down and take things easy when life just kept passing you by day in and day out it was Rosetta. Her own heart had been weak and even after having the transplant she still had to watch what she did and it was frustrating. 

Sitting inside and doing paper work drove her crazy on nice days when she could be out breaking in horses or chasing BJ around the yard. But than taking a moment she would remember why paper work was enough for her. In order to see the young boy grow, to see the ranch flourish she had to take ti easy and not rush her time. She only wondered though what would get Jeff to that point.

Moving as Jeff sits up so he could have his own room to eat Katie sets a little spot by the bed so she could eat as well. Her stomach had been growling for some time now but she'd pushed it aside. But now that food was being offered she wasn't going to turn it down.

Looking at Jeff Angel searches his face. She could see the anger and the hurt, she new he wasn't happy with her but she was only trying to help. Even if he was upset with her now later he might than her.

   "It would be a low dosage of a depression medicine, but not because I think your depressed. I am offering it because I think it would help calm your nerves and relax you without the nasty side affects to your stomach like the other stuff."

Angel offers a smile to Jeff trying to let him know it wasn't a bad thing. She just thought this might be a better way for his stomach to handle something. Now she only hoped he thought of it that way to and didn't blow up on her.

   "It's completely you choose though Jeff I wont force it one you if you dont want it. I just think it might help."

What

Left to go his own way, Mick quietly returns to the dining hall, slipping back down beside Rosetta. He was thankful that BJ was visiting Clint and Wendy's table at the moment. "Jeff's not doing well," he mentions quietly to his wife. "Angel's trying to work with him but he's being incredibly stubborn all of a sudden." 

Taking a bite of food, he picks up where he'd left off earlier. "There's something really bothering him but I can't figure out what it is." 

Jeff remains quiet, not responding to Katie. He understood. And he did see. He just didn't care. He'd been sick almost all of his life. And he was tired of it. When he was young and in his prime, he'd constantly been battling sicknesses that no doctors could figure out. In and out of the hospital, he'd seen enough white walls and polished floors to last him an eternity. Oh there had been times that he'd felt well and it would seem he was on the mend. Then it would just all come back again, putting him back in bed. Finally, finally they had solved the mystery not all that long ago, discovering that it was all Agency related to begin with. Then he'd been well again, only to come crashing back down harder than ever before. And now... as a result... he was weakened for the rest of his life. That was it. There was no getting well. There was no cure. There was no hope of him getting over it. His heart was weak. His immune system was shot. A cold could put him in the hospital if he wasn't careful. A cut could cause him to bleed to death. And he was tired of it. 

Studying Katie for a long moment, the corner of his mouth turns up a little. "You look so much like your mother today," he muses quietly. And his eyes glisten as his heart hurts. Most days the past didn't get to him anymore. Then on days like today, he missed Katie's mother so much. He'd had her for such a very short time. It just wasn't fair. 

Before he can say any more, Angel has returned, and he clams up, shifting his eyes over to her. Another medicine? He quirks one eyebrow. The only thing he was on now was blood thinner to avoid a heart attack. He should be on all sorts of other things, but his diet would have to control most of it since so many medications made him even sicker. But even so, one medication was bad enough to him, and the last attempt to help his anxiety had failed. Now what? 

Letting go of Katie's hand, he pulls himself up a little on the bed, knowing he wouldn't be getting away with not eating. "Another medicine to help what?" he questions. "What are you talking about?"

Finally Gone

   "Angel isn't trying to tell you what to do Dad, she is tilling you to take it easy. And if you listen than once in a while you will be able to do rides, and help out and the things you want too. You just can't do it all the time. You have got to understand she is trying to help you not trying to harm you."

Katie lets out a long sigh looking back at Jeff her eyes were filled with concern. She wished he would just understand but it seemed that he just wasn't getting it and it hurt even more knowing he was willing to do this to himself.

   "I understand you don't want to sit around and do nothing and no one is tilling you to just sit around. But you can't be out doing things that are going to moving the process along any. I don't want you to leave me quicker than you have to and if you keep going the way you are...your going too."

Running her finger over top of Jeff's she didn't want him to think she was upset at him she was just frustrated and upset he wouldn't take his own health into consideration. She didn't want to sit back and just watch him destroy himself.

   "Dad, I just can't sit and watch you push yourself and push yourself till finally your gone because of it. It's really not something I want to see...and it makes me sad you don't see it."

Letting out a long sigh Angel new that Mick was right. They couldn't tell Jeff how to run his own life but could they stand by and continue to let him do harm to himself as well? If anything happened to him would it fall on the ranch? There were so many things that fell into play it was hard.

   "I know we can't controle him its just...I hate seeing him destroy himself as well."

Getting the plate of food together Angel leaves the kitchen and heads back out again. Turning to Mick before she goes she figured things would be ok now if he wanted to sit and eat with him family. She had to try and figure out what was going on with Jeff and till she could there was nothing more she could do. 

Back at the bunk house Angel knocks on the door before opening it and entering. Putting the sandwichs down on the table Angel comes over to Jeff and Katie checking the IV. 

   "Jeff would you object to me trying to put you on another medicine to try and help? It would be something low dosage but might help balance everything out a little more. I'll only do it if you agree though."

   "Ok good. I was hoping you wouldn't argue about the ride though I could see it in your eyes."

Misty gives a smile and a silly sort of grin. If there hadn't been any sign of argument there she would think for sure Alec had lost it. No matter what he was a Banks and thats was always just part of them. She often wondered with Carson if it came from there mother or there fathers side.

   "Alright, if you want to rinse these dishes off for me and throw them in the dish washer I will go shower and getting changed than we can head out."

Choice

Jeff sighs and nods, giving Katie's hand a little squeeze. He was still upset, but he didn't want her to think he was mad at her. He wasn't happy that she wouldn't leave him be to his own decisions, but he still loved her and didn't want her to walk away thinking he didn't. 

"There won't be any rides if Angel keeps trying to tell me what to do," he responds calmly. 

As the wave of dizziness passes, he opens his eyes again to study Katie's face. She was so worried. He hated that. She was here for her, not him. This was her time to get better and find herself - not sit around concerned about him. 

"Ya know... all I needed was a short rest." His finger runs along hers as his tone remains gentle even though he wasn't happy. "I'm not gonna stop living just because my heart isn't as strong as someone else's or just because my nerves are shot. I've only got a short time on earth - I don't wanna spend it sitting around doing nothing. That's no way to live." 

Mick follows Angel to the kitchen, mulling over their options. "Well... it might be worth a try." He leans on the counter in thought. "I wonder what set him off though. I mean, he wasn't like this before. I thought he'd accepted he was useful with lighter tasks and all of a sudden he's tossing hay bales, breaking in horses and going out for long rides." He shrugs. "Maybe it's 'cause Katie's here and he doesn't want to be weak in front of her, although he's spent time with her before and been fine." 

Assisting Angel with some of the food, he shakes his head. "If it was depression though, I wouldn't think he'd be this motivated. I'd think he's sulk more. I think he's more angry than depressed. And that... I don't know how to combat. On the other hand... it is his life. No matter how much we want to chain him down, if he wants to run himself into the ground to feel useful then... it's his choice." 

Alec is ready to argue with Misty that he can walk, but another coughing fit makes him change his mind. Yeah... maybe a ride was best. And she was even going to get him a key? She really was serious about him staying with her. She'd said so but... it felt a little more set now. It had happened so quickly too, he still was just a little awkward, hoping he was doing the right thing and not being a burden. 

"Okay... I only have a few clothes and a couple little things but otherwise my apartment is about as bare as it was the day I moved in." 

Hearing about the backyard, he nods without hesitation. "I can do that." Anything to make him feel that he was earning his keep. It was... a new sensation. It was... humility. It didn't necessarily feel good, but it didn't feel so bad either.

Pang

Sitting next to her dad and just holding his hand Katie lets out her own small sigh. She didn't understand where Jeff was coming from or how he felt with this whole thing but she could only guess not good. Katie did feel bad, and wish more could be done but she new that really unless Jeff was willing there was nothing more.

   "I'll be sticking around for a while so we have lots of time to ride and do things together."

A little pang on guilt hits Katie's heart as she remembered how she'd yelled at Jeff earlier. She was upset with herself for losing contole like that but on the same hand she was upset with Jeff for continuing to force himself to do things. She just didn't understand, and it hurt.

Angel just shakes her head. She was at a loss with this one too. Jeff had to slow it down or he was going to end up killing himself but how to get him to understand that she didn't know. It made her worried though that he wouldn't and at the same time it made her fell helpless.

   "I'm at a loss on this one so if you can think of any ideas let me know. I can try putting him on an antidepressant and seeing if that helps any even through I hate the idea of that."

Letting out a sigh and heading inside Angel walks to the kitchen to get some food for Katie and for Jeff. She didn't like the idea of putting anyone on a depression medicine but if it would help would it be work it? She wondered too though if Jeff would even agree to taking them at all or would it be another fight.

   "I work at noon so if you want I can drive you to get your stuff and than back here. I'll stop at the hardware store tonight and get an extra key for you too."

Misty new Alec's apartment was quite a walk from here and he was still sick too. The last thing he needed walk to be walking far again and get even worse. She didn't have to be to work till late so she didn't mind driving him one bit.

   "As for something to do around the house I think we can start with the back yard. After the high winds we had a few months ago it looks horrible out there. If you would like to clean it up for me that would be great."