Hate

Though he wanted to, Gage found Sapphire's words almost hard to believe. He saw the righteous anger flash in her eyes, and his heart skips a beat. She really... cared? 

Having her sit on his lap, his arms automatically move around her waist. Though having just said that maybe they should slow down, that's not what he really wanted. He didn't want to leave Sapphire at all. She was his only friend, and the only person he cared anything for, more than just a friend. But what if Scott had been right? 

Watching her eyes, Gage blinks once, taken aback by her bold and passionate words. Not only did she care, but she was standing up for him... defending him. No one had done that for him before - at least not like this. And she was willing to risk it all? He'd thought she cared, but... but this much? 

Before he can even try to respond, her lips have enveloped his own. Though his mind screamed at him to stop right now and be logical and realistic, his heart had other ideas. And it seemed his body was more attached to his heart than his mind. 

Returning Sapphire's kiss, Gage's eyes close and his arms tighten around her, closing the gap between them. He was upset over this whole thing, but somehow she had a way of chasing the rainclouds away and making him remember that he had something to be proud of, and that he really was worth something, despite his past. 

A deep, long kiss was the only thing Gage could think of to show Sapphire how much her words meant to him. He didn't know what would happen now, but she made him feel wanted, and worth the effort - and that in itself was worth a lifetime of kisses just like this one. 

Eventually releasing his hold, Gage draws back slightly, his heart still thumping and his breath shallow. He looks Sapphire in the eye as she still sat on his lap. "I was told to let you go and walk away," he mentions in almost a whisper. "I was told to not shame your name with my past. But you... you're so different... to care, even now, even when you know me better than anyone else."

He lifts a hand to cradle the side of Sapphire's warm face. His thumb runs gently along her cheek. "But I don't know how to say no to the world. It's bigger than I am."

Scott lamely accepts the icepack, placing it on his sore head. Looking at the floor, he takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly in an attempt to calm his nerves. "My mind... that's what's been bothering me. All the bits and pieces that don't belong there... they're just.... there and I can't get rid of them, and they pile up and spew into my thoughts when I don't want them to. I have no control over them." 

Just staying on the floor, he leans back against the desk, leaving the Mountain Dew mess for now. "I thought I got rid of the Agency, Dalton. When I finally got over being scared of my own shadow, I thought it was over. But every time I see Phinox or Alec or... or even Carson... it's like, all the data flashes in front of my eyes and for a split second, I'm back with the Agency, hooked up to all their computers and screaming as the data is forced into my mind." 

Swallowing hard, Scott just stops for several moments. He hadn't told anyone about this, not even Hope. He didn't like talking about the Agency - one, because it ripped open old scars, and two, because if any authority thought he was out of control, he could still be taken off the Elite as a security risk. 

"I hate them...." He'd never said it out loud before, but as he does, the bitter, raw anger is proven. "I hate them, Dalton. I hate what they did to me and I hate everyone who is a part of them. It make me sick, thinking of how many people they've got out there, thriving on the fear of others. I don't want to hate people I know like Phinox or Carson, but I can't help it that every time I see them, it's like their pasts are an open book, read to me whether I want it or not. Their personnel files are in my head and I know their jobs and what they did and my mind just reminds me of it over and over like a broken record." 

Removing the ice pack, Scott touches his head gingerly. "And I hate them for what they did to me. They stole a part of my life that I'll never get back, no matter how much braver I am now. So I'm not scared of my own shadow... great... but now a part of them is a part of me and I can't get rid of it." 

Glaring at the ice in his hand, it had never done anything to him, but it was better than glaring at his big friend. His tone comes out as frozen as the pack. "And now one of those creeps is going after my sister. And I hate him for it too."

"Nah... not much new." Axel shakes his head as he and Jess start in on their meal. He takes a sip of Pepsi and shrugs. "She said it might be a while yet, but she wants me here until she can see what the surgery is going to do. So far my hand still hurts, so that's a good thing. But Misty reminded me that not only are we working with nerves, but I haven't used my hand in so long, that my muscles will need some therapy to be retrained again too." 

Taking a bite of food, he can't help a little sigh. "I know it's God's timing... I just wish He moved a little faster sometimes."

*Gulp*

Listing to Gage once more Sapphire could feel her blood run cold as her heart race picked up, she almost felt a little shaky to and for that she wasn't sure of the anger or betrayal she felt. She new who put this in Gage's head. The only person who he had been with alone today, and the one person he didn't want to take lessons from anymore. She'd deal with her brother late for now, she had to try and rebuild everything that was now broken. She new her voice was upset but not at Gage, at her own blood, her own twin.

"Reminded you your what Gage? A man who has someone that they take interest in? A man who is trying to get his life back? A man who has come so far that to turn back now would be a crime worse than your own past. Your not part of the Agency anymore, and what of them that was once in you is no longer there Gage. Our past does not define us, it molds us, or past isn't who we are. Its our actions now that matter."

Shifting a little Sapphire turns to see Gage a little better. Moving a tiny bit closer to him her eyes seemed to have a fire in them. Anger, passion, love, hate, compassion, comfort...they glowed in the dark, maybe alluring for some, yet dangerous for others.

"My job puts me in danger of the Agency every day. To back away, to leave what my heart desires because The Agency is out there, than I would leave my whole life behind and I am not willing to do that."

Moving on the bed again Sapphire gets to her knees before lifting her one leg and putting it over top of Gage till one was on each side. Her arms sliding behind his neck so she could look at him straight on. Her heart raced and her blood pumped through her veins.

"If the Agency is going to hunt you down, than let them come. I wont back away. You can push me away, and you can try to leave me behind but I will be there every moment Gage. You think the Agency is bad when they find something they want, well I am worse. I wont throw you to the wolves. No matter what my brother or anyone else says. If they don't want to see the side of you I do, than its there loss. Jamie saw it, and so did Con thats proof that I am not alone in my desition."

Leaning closer to Gage Sapphire brings her one hand to the back of Gage's head as the other rests on his chest. Letting her lips brush over his for a moment than drawing away just a little she whispers.

"I am better off with you because to deny what my heart wants is a worse crime than all those of your past."

Bringing her lips to Gage's again Sapphire pressed them firmly to his. Letting the passion she felt wash over her and all she felt just come forth. Retreating for a moment Sapphire turns her head the other way only to return to the kiss once more.

Trouble

Gage refuses to look up, even though he wanted to. He really didn't know what to say. Sapphire could see right through him, and it wasn't fair. He knew that they didn't lie to each other though, and he'd just broken that. But what else was he supposed to say?

Sighing, he mulls over all of the words that were running through his mind. None seemed to fit. He couldn't just tell her what had happened outright. It would only make things worse. He'd done enough damage the way it was.

"I just... I guess I was reminded of who I am." He shrugs lamely. "And... someone like you deserves a friend who's more than someone who has a past like mine. The Agency will hunt for me and... being around you just puts you in danger too and it's not fair."

He pauses, finally brave enough to turn his head and look at Sapphire's eyes. There was something in his own gaze that said he was sorry. That said someone had convinced him that he really should not be friends with her. That he was unworthy. That it wasn't worth the risk.

"You'd be better off... without me hanging around, and it's the truth. I don't want to start any trouble."

Immune

Continuing to watch Gage, Sapphire could see the signs all over. Even in the dark she had the keen eye to read his face, his eyes, every thing that pointed to him not being truthful to her. It was almost like steps were taken in the backwards direction and not forwards.

"Gage, you relize people have been using that excuse for ages? I think I have built and immunity to it. Not to mention we are hardly even moving so if we slow down anymore, its gonna be a complete stop we come to and I certainly don't want that."

Moving to come onto the bed with him Sapphire just sits next to him leaning against the wall. Why had he tried to lie to her? What had happened today to have caused that.

"I can read your eyes even when your not looking at me Gage. We don't lie to each other remember? You be truthful with me, and I be completely truthful with you about anything. So lets try again...What happened today Gage?"

Sapphire's voice was very pashent with Gage, no irritation or disappointment shown through. She had the pashents, she had the understanding and she would wait.

Watching his friend once more Dalton can see the irritation, and it was clear things were not right even when Scott said they were. About to say something more to him Dalton stops as Scott slammed his head on the desk. Cringing a little he could feel the pain himself run through him.

As Scott sinks to the floor Dalton sits forward in the chair and takes the ice pack from the fridge. Something they both used much so figured it was best to have a supply if there own. Stretching his arm out to hand the ice pack to Scott Dalton leans his arms on his legs.

"Whats been bothering you Scott?"

Giving a laugh Jess sits down on the bed with the food a smile on her face. Leaning in she gives Axel a hello kiss before bringing the bag up and taking out two containers Jess puts one in front of each of them, Pepsi for the drink. Helping Axel get comfortable, prayers were said and dinner could start when they were ready.

"Well...actually it wasn't that interesting. I developed a bunch of pictures, helped make up a few Christmas gifts for people and than I sat around all day doing nothing. I guess it was just a slow day."

Opening the Styrofoam container that held the food Jess gives a big whiff as her stomach growled.

"What about you? Did Misty say anything else about your hand today?"

Suspicious reasoning

Gage's eyes flicker, but they're still aimed at the floor. He can feel heat rising up the back of his neck and into his face, hoping that Sapphire couldn't see it in the darkness of the living room.

"No." He pauses to swallow. "I mean..." His hands fidget some more as he recalls the words that were said to him earlier in the day. They had ended with the understanding that he was not to say one word about the conversation.

"No... I just... I got to thinking and..." His own words sting himself. "...and thought maybe we should... you know... slow down a little." 

Scott doesn't even react to Dalton's tease about the desk. On a normal day, he would have thought it funny and probably would have had his own comeback. But tonight it felt like his humor had been sucked dry.

"Everything is fine," he replies sharply as he continues to mop up the spilled drink. "Just fine. You'd be agitated too if-" He bites his tongue from finishing that statement. 

Lifting up the papertowels, he swivels on his knees to stand up, but with his blind eye to the desk, he had miscalculated the distance. His head whacks the blunt corner of the desk hard enough to make the computer monitors shake.

Howling with frustration, he sinks all the way to the floor, holding the side of his head. A perfect ending to a perfect day. Just sitting still, he tries to stop the throbbing. "No, everything is not fine," he mutters. "I'm losing my mind, Dalton."

Ryder can't help the laugh that erupts at Thirteen's question. Moving to her, he pulls her into a bear hug. "You can hold my hand whenever you want."

He kiss the top of her head and rocks her teasingly. "Let's go warm up leftovers for supper. I have a feeling Katie will be home late." 

Though Jade's eyes were closed, her mind was far from sleep. She felt so comfortable here... with Dan. From day one, she'd felt comfortable with him and it hadn't changed. Could she really have these deep feelings for him? Was it more than just a temporary thing? In her heart, the answer was yes. She just felt... differently with him than she'd felt with anyone else. She'd follow him anywhere - it was that simple. Leaving him for only a few hours made her miss him. Thinking of being gone for a week was torture. She never tired of his company. She never tired of his attention or his kisses or feeling his arms around her. Yes... she was in love with him and it was the best feeling ever. She could only hope that he felt the same for her.

A smile comes to her lips. "Don't tell me I can stay here... I might end up falling asleep on you."

Axel laughs, a little color coming to his face as he sets his book aside. "I'm always decent." 

Smirking, he sits up straighter, making room for Jess to sit with him on the bed if she wanted. "Mmm... food smells good. I guess I didn't realize how hungry I was." 

Situating the pillow under his hand, he draws his legs up to sit Indian-style. "So how was your day? More exciting than mine, I hope."

After

Starting to put a few of the gifts under the tree Sapphire gives a small laugh about her brother knowing about cars. He always was the smart one when it came to that stuff. Sure Sapphire could find her way around with the small things and new how to drive, but if you really wanted to learn everything inside and out, Scott was the right person.

"He always did catch on to things faster than I did. I can drive, change the oil, and tell when something is differnt but it ends there for me. I am sure he will continue to be able to teach you after work. Learning from the best of the best is smart."

Stopping for a moment letting Gage's next sentence sink in. Hearing the tone in his voice Sapphire could tell something just wasn't right. It was almost like his first day with her all over again, he was quiet, and didn't look at her at all.

"Gage, Did something happen today? Just...something doesn't seem right."

Dalton sat at his desk half watching his computer screen and half keeping an eye on Scott. Over the last few week, and than again today he has been noticing something different with him. What it was he wasn't sure but it seemed like he was more on edge and his anger was flaring. That alone was defiantly something not like Scott.

As the thud of the can hits the floor and the slam of the desk Dalton finally turns from the computer full on to see his friend. He really was only doing some extra stuff for Angelica anyways. It could wait for now.

Not saying anything for a moment Dalton just watches him as a little bit of worry hits his eyes. Scott had been doing so well over the last months, and if something was truly wrong Hope would have seen it right? But there defiantly was something that didn't sit well with him.

"You better take it easy on the desk there it has feelings too you know!"

Sitting up a little straighter in his chair Dalton new his humor was flat, but he guessed Scott should be use to that by now. He almost always cracked jokes to his friend trying to work on making them better even though he failed over and over again.

"Everything ok? You seem a little more agitated than normal."

A smile spreads on Thirteen's face again as she looks up at Ryder. Her eyes meet his and a warm feeling runs through her veins. For the first time, Ryder needed her as much as she needed him and it made her feel good. Giving a little nod she would agree.

"Ok, its a deal but..even after the plane ride can we hold hands too?"

As Jade leans into him Dan once again wraps his arms around her. One over her shoulder and the other around her wast. Once more her words that she wanted to say here with him sinking in. Did she really fall for him this fast?

"Mmm...You can use me for a pillow for a while if you like. Your keeping that half of my body warm."

Leaning his head down Dan kiss the top of Jade's head. The smell of her soft perfume filling his nose and tangoing with his senses. Forever was a long time and he has almost had it once. Was he really ready to be saying those words again? Dan new the answer to that question without even asking it.

Making her way through TJY Jess had no problem remembering where the extra bedroom was. She had spent much time there herself and would always remember its placing. Giving a small knock Jess opens the door and pops her head in a smile spread across her face.

"I hope you decent because I got Boston Market and I was way to hungry to go right back out this door again!!"

Different evenings

Gage looks up quickly at Sapphire. Yawning, he feigns having been asleep. He had no other legit reason for not rising when she'd come to the door. "Hi."

Managing to sit up on his mattress, Gage doesn't return Sapphire's light affection but goes straight into responding to her questions. "It went okay. Your brother knows what he's doing when it comes to cars all right."

Looking down, he picks at a loose thread around the hole in his jeans where his bare knee was visible. "I think maybe... our schedules aren't gonna work out too well though so I might try to find someone else to keep going with me until I get my license."

Gage rips loose the thread, snapping it from his jeans. He tries to move on quickly to another subject. "Pizza sounds good. I'm... I'm kinda tired though... so.... I don't know about.... a movie." All the while, his eyes are down, unwilling to look up at Sapphire.

Scott squints at his computer monitor, trying to solve the problem. Reese had called him back from Texas a day earlier than he'd wanted, he was having trouble with the files needed - along with a network problem,  his mother was bugging him about Christmas dinner and who all was gonna be there and what to bring, he wasn't looking forward to the family get-together, it was late, he had a headache and he just wanted to go home. But if he just went home, Reese wouldn't get what he wanted, and he'd be in the doghouse.

An error message pops up for the sixth time. Giving an uncharacteristic growl of frustration, Scott slams his keyboard tray shut and just glares at the screen. Rubbing his throbbing forehead, he tries to block out the images that were flying through his head more rapidly lately. He'd thought he'd be rid of them once his system calmed down and he settled back into life after the Agency. But the last few weeks, it had just been getting worse. He'd always disliked the Agency. But lately it had turned into a pure hatred like nothing else. Every time he saw someone connected with the Agency, that anger flared. Whether it was Alec, Phinox, Gage or Carson, it didn't matter. It was becoming a nightmare all over again.

Turning to retrieve some papers, his arm knocks into his open can of Mountain Dew, sending it onto the floor with a thud and fizz. It was rare that he lost his temper, but this was the last straw. Standing up, he kicks the desk drawer shut and mutter's a word under his breath that he never dared. Grabbing some paper towels from the nearby cabinet, he kneels on the floor, trying to sop up the mess without disturbing Dalton any more than he already had.

Ryder gives Thirteen a gentle smile as he leans back against the washing machine and folds his arms. "It's okay. I don't much like planes myself. But it'll save a lot of time and hassle. Crashes happen... but not nearly as often as car wrecks and the Elite pilot is a good one."

He cocks his head, making sure Thirteen understood that being scared wasn't something to be ashamed of. "You and I will get to sit together," he adds. "You can hold my hand if you let me hold yours."

Jade smiles back at Dan, slight color coming to her cheeks. Leaning her head into his hand, she closes her eyes and sighs deeply, just enjoying this time. "I don't want to leave tomorrow," she admits. "I just want to stay here... with you."

Opening her eyes again, she sets aside some of the wrapping paper so she can move in closer to Dan again. Bringing her legs up on the couch, she curls them under and smooths out her skirt before leaning her head down to rest on Dan's chest with his arm around her. It was weird, thinking that she wouldn't see her brother this Christmas. And she had hoped to spend part of it with her father too, but now that wasn't even going to happen. She wondered if the McClain's would have a celebration of their own for people staying there. 

Nuzzling in a little more, Jade wraps her arm around Dan's waist. "Can you be my pillow?" she teases. "You're awfully comfortable." 

Axel sits up on the spare bed, one knee close to his chest to balance the book he was reading. His left hand held open the pages as he read the words, passing the time in the evening. Misty had been keeping an eye on him the last couple days, but until they knew for sure the diagnosis of his hand, he would remain here. 

So far, his hand was still in pain, but it was a good thing that the feeling had lasted this long after the surgery. Still wrapped, his right hand rested on a pillow at his side as he made a conscious effort not to move it around too much. Misty had worked a little with him today to see if he could move any of his fingers, but he hadn't been able to. She'd assured him that it was still too early to tell, so he was trying to remain hopeful.

The quiet of the room didn't bother him much. He enjoyed quietness more than most people. Even so, he still looked forward to Jess' visits. She'd said she had to work late tonight, but would bring supper over afterward, so he was content with reading until she showed up.