Though watching Ashlee leave, Eric’s ears still listened to Stacy. “Could’ve fooled me. That was ‘bout as close to a cold shoulder as I could’ve gotten.” It bothered him that Ashlee was being so offish, but he tried to shrug it off. “Maybe she’s just tired.” Was that really it? Or had he unintentionally done something really wrong? It wouldn’t be the first time he’d messed something up.
He polished off his lasagna and sighed deeply. He was full. He was satisfied. He was exhausted. His eyes found Stacy’s, and he smiled. “Well, if no one will go on a midnight ride with me…maybe I can find somebody to at least go for a walk…”
Rosalyn read Chad’s text message for the third time, the tears still rolling slowly down her cheeks. She lay on her bed, but was still fully dressed, boots still on. She’d left Clint a while earlier and instead of eating supper, she’d gone to be by herself again. Chad’s message had arrived at least an hour before, but she still had yet to answer him. She missed him. But she couldn’t allow her emotions to be public. She had to keep them all inside, locked away tight, for fear of making her life – and anyone else’s here – worse, due to her own father’s temper.
Her eyes scanned Chad’s words. She hated believing that he was really genuine – that his care for her was true. She hated hoping in something that couldn’t possibly be reality. Yet, if he really weren’t genuine, surely he would have given up by now. She was being beyond difficult – if all Chad wanted was a good time, he had a whole lot of easier opportunities than her.
Eventually, her fingers found their way to her phone’s keyboard.
To: Chad
From: Rosalyn
You’re such an eloquent clown, and I miss you so. Surely your travels aren’t as grand as they sound – my
imagination likes to exaggerate. But I suppose even the greatest dream is worth dreaming, even if when I wake up, I find it gone.
Maybe pretending this was all real really was foolishness, but it did bring a smile to her face. And right now, a smile was what she longed for. Maybe it really was her imagination that there was something real between her and Chad, but at this point, all she had were dreams.
I’m sorry if it’s seemed I’ve been ignoring you. I’ve just been busy.
There was no point in making Chad worry or feel bad about her current situation.
I’d dearly love to someday join you on your travels and see what you do. It sounds fascinating.
“Well, I could think of a few things to ask for,” Jared teased. “But this will do quite nicely.” He grinned and tried to readjust his weight, but his muscles didn’t cooperate, and he sighed. “Ya know… one of these days, I’m gonna get awfully tired of not being able to do what I wanna do.” Though he rolled his eyes, it was impossible to hide in his gaze the fact that deep down he really was incredibly frustrated and teetering on the edge of depression, even though he pasted on a smile and acted like he was doing just fine. He had made incredible progress since the accident, but even so, the time it was taking did nothing to help his impatience.
“I feel bad for my mom,” he admitted. His voice had grown quieter with the sudden change of subject. “She shouldn’t have to take care of me like a kid – she already did that for enough years when I was growing up. But here I am… Now that I actually don’t want to mooch, I have to. Go figure.” He tossed Grace a wry grin. “Maybe it’s some form of sadistic poetic justice.”
He nudged her arm again with his foot. “But I suppose there are some perks.”
Alec rolled over again for the umpteenth time, his eyes staring into the darkness of his cozy shed. His life had changed so much. First a boy searching for acceptance in all the wrong places. Then a young man trapped by Agency talons. Later a man with no heart, hungry only for that which made him feel more powerful than those around him. Then he’d been caught that fateful night at Scott’s. He’d been shown a completely different world. Someone had cared.
He rolled over again. Ryan had been the first to break through his barriers. He’d wanted freedom so badly, and she’d understood, yet kept him grounded at the same time. Life had become a whole new struggle between right and wrong – what he wanted, and what he was learning was true. He’d messed up. A lot. He’d lost the trust of the only woman he’d ever really loved. And he’d gotten snatched up by the Agency again, forced to do their will, and in the process, he’d successfully severed ties with love permanently. Only after all the pain and all the rejection of others had he finally broken. But lessons were learned far too late.
He threw his blanket off and huffed a frustrated sigh. Misty had been the only one with any care still left, and he would be forever grateful. Slowly, slowly, he was starting to mend other relationships he had so carelessly demolished. But some would never be built back up again. And on nights like tonight, it still hurt. From a boy who knew no love, to a man who had tasted and lost. He wasn’t sure which was worse.
Growling, he slid down from the sleeping space in his shed and pulled on his jeans. He couldn’t sleep. Maybe a walk in the night air would clear his head. As he went for his door though, movement outside his window caught his eye. Immediately, his whole body tensed, and reflexes sent him ducking out of sight. His better senses told him it was probably the neighbors dog, but his hairs standing on end warned him otherwise. And again, he felt the sense that something tonight was not right.
Weaponless, he cautiously opened the shed door. His eyes scanned the yard, but he saw nothing. Maybe it really had been his imagination. One step forward though, and all he knew was that he’d been struck on the back of the head. But no amount of will power could keep him from slumping to the ground and losing consciousness.
Inside the house, were two more figures that moved along the shadows, finding their way silently from room to room, speaking only in whispers. Not finding their prey, they made their way carefully upstairs. With only two rooms to search, it was easy to finally find what they were looking for.
Leaning over Misty’s bed, one of the tall men dressed in black and wearing a ski mask slipped a hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming when she awoke. “Rise and shine, princess,” he sneered. “You’re coming with us.”
12/24/14
Wind....
Looking up at Alec Misty gives the best smile she could thought she new it was not much. Laying her hand over top of his she lets out a small sigh. He was a good guy, and he was trying his best to make her happy, and try to put a little smile on her face. She hated how low she felt, she hated how much hatred she felt, and she hated not being herself. No matter how hard she tried though the truth remained she was angry, she was hurt, and she hated one person for it.
"Ok Alec. Thanks for the subs tonight, they tasted good. Try and get some rest. At least one of us needs to be alert tomorrow when Mackenzie gets here."
Letting her hand drop from Alec's Misty looks down at her hardly eaten sub. She'd taken a few bites before feeling full. It had tasted good like she said but hungry just didn't seem to hit her tonight.
Once Alec was gone Misty finally moved from the couch and went to the kitchen. Wrapping up what was left of her sub she placed it in the fridge with the other left overs. She'd either eat it later, or Alec would and that was ok with her. At least nothing went to wast.
Looking out the window in the back Misty just stairs at the light the flickers in Alec's shed. She wanted to pull herself from this darkness but it was so hard and she felt so lost and helpless. She hated Carson loved Jason, was mad at Jason, despised Carson. A vicious circle of emotions she wish she didn't have.
Pushing off the counter Misty makes her way up stairs. She was tired, drained of emotions and all she wanted to do was sleep now. Mac would be here tomorrow, and she wanted to try at least for the childs sake to act a little happier than she was now. Maybe a little extra rest would help her feel better in the morning.
Giving a small smile Ashlee went back to poking at her food. Eating a little more she finally pushed the plat away before excusing herself. She just didnt feel that hungry. She really did want to go riding tonight, but something stopped her. Maybe she sould talk to Eric about it but something just held her back.
Watching her daughter leave Stacy felt as confused as Eric looked. She didn't understand what was going on with that girl, and when she tried to ask her last all she got was a quick nothing and a subject change.
"I don't know what is going on with that girl. I thought for sure she'd be happy you were home. She missed you something horrible while you were gone."
To: Rosalyn
From: Chad
When the warm wind blows it feels like your breath on my skin...
And when the stars twinkle it reminds me of your eyes...
For everywhere I look I am reminded of you...
Everywhere I go I think I hear your voice and turn my head.
My wind, My sun, My flower!
I haven't heard from you in a few days and I hope all is well.
Still travailing but that should come to and end soon. At least
for a few week before we finish our tour. I wish you could
be here. I know you'd love it as much as I do. One day you
will have to come, and be free!!!
With Every Emotion in my head, Chad!
Grace just shakes her head as she listened to Jared ramble. She didn't mind it though it was better than being quiet, or depressed. She rather liked his silly babble. It made her smile and laugh.
"I think sitting here for a few moments sounds rather nice. It's not to bad of a afternoon. I've got some of the best company to chat with. I mean really...what more could you ask for?"
"Ok Alec. Thanks for the subs tonight, they tasted good. Try and get some rest. At least one of us needs to be alert tomorrow when Mackenzie gets here."
Letting her hand drop from Alec's Misty looks down at her hardly eaten sub. She'd taken a few bites before feeling full. It had tasted good like she said but hungry just didn't seem to hit her tonight.
Once Alec was gone Misty finally moved from the couch and went to the kitchen. Wrapping up what was left of her sub she placed it in the fridge with the other left overs. She'd either eat it later, or Alec would and that was ok with her. At least nothing went to wast.
Looking out the window in the back Misty just stairs at the light the flickers in Alec's shed. She wanted to pull herself from this darkness but it was so hard and she felt so lost and helpless. She hated Carson loved Jason, was mad at Jason, despised Carson. A vicious circle of emotions she wish she didn't have.
Pushing off the counter Misty makes her way up stairs. She was tired, drained of emotions and all she wanted to do was sleep now. Mac would be here tomorrow, and she wanted to try at least for the childs sake to act a little happier than she was now. Maybe a little extra rest would help her feel better in the morning.
Giving a small smile Ashlee went back to poking at her food. Eating a little more she finally pushed the plat away before excusing herself. She just didnt feel that hungry. She really did want to go riding tonight, but something stopped her. Maybe she sould talk to Eric about it but something just held her back.
Watching her daughter leave Stacy felt as confused as Eric looked. She didn't understand what was going on with that girl, and when she tried to ask her last all she got was a quick nothing and a subject change.
"I don't know what is going on with that girl. I thought for sure she'd be happy you were home. She missed you something horrible while you were gone."
To: Rosalyn
From: Chad
When the warm wind blows it feels like your breath on my skin...
And when the stars twinkle it reminds me of your eyes...
For everywhere I look I am reminded of you...
Everywhere I go I think I hear your voice and turn my head.
My wind, My sun, My flower!
I haven't heard from you in a few days and I hope all is well.
Still travailing but that should come to and end soon. At least
for a few week before we finish our tour. I wish you could
be here. I know you'd love it as much as I do. One day you
will have to come, and be free!!!
With Every Emotion in my head, Chad!
Grace just shakes her head as she listened to Jared ramble. She didn't mind it though it was better than being quiet, or depressed. She rather liked his silly babble. It made her smile and laugh.
"I think sitting here for a few moments sounds rather nice. It's not to bad of a afternoon. I've got some of the best company to chat with. I mean really...what more could you ask for?"
12/18/14
All I Can Promise
Ashlee’s response threw Eric for yet another loop. What young girl wouldn’t jump at the chance for an adventurous midnight horseback ride? Let alone one who was as horse crazy as Ashlee?
“Oh. Okay.” He shrugged, not sure what else he could say. He wasn’t going to push it if she didn’t want to ride. Maybe she really wasn’t feeling well. Or maybe he really had done something unintentional to put her on edge around him. He shot Stacy another glance though, questioning the strangeness of it all. He wanted to believe nothing was wrong, but his gut said otherwise.
“I’ve got a couple days before I hit the road again…but if you change your mind about tonight, you’ve got til midnight. ‘Course, if you wait that long, you’ll prolly hafta wake me up. These old bones ain’t gonna last much longer than that.” He smiled, but it felt rather pointless. It was a strange sensation – suddenly not knowing if he’d done something wrong, or if there was another reason for Ashlee’s distance.
He turned his focus back to finishing his meal, and engaging in conversation with a few others, including Stacy. It was good to be home, despite Ashlee’s odd behavior.
Clint shrugged on his jacket and let the shop door fall shut behind him before he trudged across the driveway. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go grab something to eat or just go home. He knew Wendy and Chase were with everyone else for supper tonight, but as of late, it wasn’t unusual for Clint to just go his own way and connect with them at home later.
Passing by the main house though, a lone figure on the porch swing caught his eye. He wasn’t one to interfere – if someone wanted to be left alone, he had no problem with that. And yet… Caring more than he might admit, he stepped up on the porch before sinking down next to his sister. Neither spoke for what seemed a very long time, until Rosalyn finally broke the silence. “How ya doing?”
“I’m alright. You?”
“I’m fine.” She tucked her hands in her jacket pockets and kept her eyes on the darkness surrounding the ranch. She’d eventually come back from the orchard and retrieved her jacket from inside, but no one had seemed to notice, and she was okay with that.
It was quiet again except for the soft creaking of the swing as Clint’s foot gently maneuvered it back and forth. A slow sigh eventually seeped out though. “You happy?”
“No. …You?”
“No.”
There was another long stretch of silence.
“What are we gonna do about it?” Perhaps Rosalyn really didn’t expect an answer, but it was a question that felt heavy tonight.
“I dunno.” Clint shrugged. “Keep on living, I suppose.”
Rosalyn pursed her lips as she thought. “At least you’ve got a family.”
“Yeah.” He nodded slowly. “If not for them, I’d be long gone.”
“If Dad wasn’t such a jerk, would you say the same thing?”
Clint thought for a long moment. “Yeah.”
“What changed?”
“Me.”
It was quiet again. Rosalyn leaned over to rest her head on her brother’s shoulder. “I’m sorry things aren’t turning out like you wanted.”
“They’re sure not. Can’t change it now, though.”
“Aren’t you and Wendy okay?”
“Yeah.” Clint kept the swing’s gentle pace. “Some days I feel too tied down. But I wouldn’t give her or my kid up…I love them more than life…which is why I’m still here.”
Rosalyn fell silent as a tear trickled down her cheek to soak into Clint’s jacket. Once more, the darkness provided the hushed atmosphere until Clint decided to speak again. “You miss him?”
“Yeah.” Rosalyn sniffed. She didn’t have to ask who her brother meant. Chad was on her mind every day. “I thought I could ignore it…but I can’t. And I don’t even know if it’s real. But I can’t even find out because I’m stuck here.”
Clint’s heart ached with a mix of sadness and anger. “Are you really?”
Jared’s lips curled into a somewhat sly grin as Grace came and joined him. With his one leg now resting on her lap, he moved his bare foot to nudge her arm playfully. “Goofing off is always more appealing than work – you should know that by now.”
He scrunched up his nose a little bit though. “But yeah, I guess I sorta maybe did more than I was supposed to.” He waved a hand in the air. “But I couldn’t stand it any longer. I am so….so….SO tired of seeing the insides of those walls, I think I might be starting to go just slightly insane.” His eyes widened. “Or maybe more than slightly. Maybe a lot. Who’s to tell? A crazy person doesn’t usually know how crazy they really are, do they?”
He let his eyes fall on hers. “They say ignorance is bliss though, so if you really think I’m losing it, don’t tell me. Unless I’m like annoying crazy. Then you can tell me. But let me down easy when you do.”
He bit his lip to stop his ramble. “Sorry. Too much coffee. All I want is to get –” He cut his sentence short, as another wave of his arm was too much, causing a sharp spasm in his back. His whole body tensed, and he cringed, holding his breath until it had passed. “…out of here…” He let the air out of his lungs slowly before giving her a sheepish grin. “Or not. Can I just…not move for a minute or two?”
Bree’s question sent a pang to Gunner’s heart. She wasn’t out of line. It was a perfectly appropriate thing for her to ask after what he’d done. The pain came from his own guilt – guilt that he’d messed up badly enough for her to worry about it happening again. He couldn’t blame her for this hurt he felt.
A deep breath preceded a sigh just as deep before he tightened his hold on Bree. Pulling her as close as he could, he let her head rest on his shoulder, and closed his eyes as he drank in this feeling…this feeling of holding in his arms the only one he’d ever cared for like this.
Though silence reigned for several minutes, his voice did finally surface. “I can’t promise I won’t make mistakes,” he answered quietly. “I can’t promise that I won’t want to run away, or that I’ll never fail you.” A tear made its way to the surface, and he closed his eyes, fighting these mixed emotions.
“I can’t promise I won’t mess up, or even that I won’t do anything stupid to hurt your feelings,” he continued shakily.
“All I can promise is that I’ll try. I’ll try to be the man you deserve. I’ll try to focus on what’s really important. I’ll try to do all that’s humanly possible never to lose your love.”
He drew back a little and kissed her forehead. “You are the most important person in my life, and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I…know I ran away…but nothing made sense again til I started thinking of you. I just…need to remember that more quickly when I hit rough spots.”
Finally in a little more control over his feelings, he tilted his head so he could see Bree’s face again. “I’m…ready…to admit I’ve got a problem. I want my life back. I want to go back to work…and I want things to be okay between us.”
“Eh…I dunno.” Jason shrugged. He was leaned back in his office chair with his feet up on his desk, surrounded by work, but allowing a break to talk to his friend. Besides, it was almost time to go home anyway.
Con hadn’t been seen much at all at the Elite office lately, but with Reese having left him at least ten phone messages, he’d finally relented and come in to see what he wanted – not that he didn’t already know, but so far he’d stood firm in his decision not to return to his job here. “So you haven’t talked to her since?”
“Oh…yeah. Some. I mean, we’re getting along okay I guess. She said she’s not mad at me – just hurt, and I can’t blame her for that. It’s still kinda awkward, but I guess I’m hoping we can end up being good friends again. I miss having her to talk to.”
“Give it time,” Con assured. He stretched out his legs as he sat in the extra chair. “Misty’s going through more than just you breaking up with her.”
“Yeah. She’s on a major warpath with Carson, especially since he’s the reason for my decision. All that just makes me feel worse, though.”
“Do you still feel you made the right choice?”
“Yeah.”
“Then don’t take on extra guilt. You can’t control what happens to her or what decisions she will make.”
“I just want to help. So I walked away. Makes a whole heap of sense.”
“You walked away from a deeper relationship, not from being a friend. Right now, it’s in her hands. You’re doing all you can.”
Jason slowly nodded. He was grateful for Con’s council, as always. “Thanks. At least Alec doesn’t seem too upset with me. We’ve been texting, and while I don’t think he understands, he respects my decision, so we’re cool. I hadn’t expected that, so I’m glad for it.”
“I haven’t been to Mom and Pop’s in ages. How’s Carson?”
“Not good, but that’s all I know. You’re not the only one who hasn’t been there in ages. After everything went down, most of his friends walked away – understandably so.”
Con sighed. “Yeah. It’s sad though. How close are they to getting the divorce?”
Jason scoffed. “Who knows? Carson still hasn’t signed the papers. Unless something changes, Misty may never be free. Even after seeing how alone she is now without me, he hasn’t relented.”
“Think Carson is being mean or just stubborn in his efforts?”
“I really don’t know.” Jason’s eyes dropped. “But…as much as part of me would like to say he’s just being mean…my gut says he’s sincere. I think he’s fighting tooth and toenail to keep Misty in his life.”
“Well…can’t blame him for that.” Con cocked his head. “And you and Katie?”
“What?” Jason’s gaze flew up. “What do you mean?”
Con chuckled. “Nothing. Just wondered if you were getting along, that’s all.”
“Oh. Yeah…yeah, I think we are. I think maybe…she and I can be friends again.” Jason nodded. “And…I’m looking forward to that.”
“Good. Well, if you –”
“Jason?” Reese’s voice over the intercom interrupted Con. “Is Con still in your office?”
Jason threw his friend a grin. “Yeah.”
“Conrad, are you ever going to come see me like your promised? I gotta get going in twenty minutes.”
Con lifted an eyebrow. “Did he just tell me to come see him?”
Jason nodded. “Yeah. You’ve got twenty minutes before you can get out of here.”
Alec crumpled up his napkin and finished off his Pepsi before looking to the other end of the couch at Misty. He’d brought subs home for supper after work for a treat, but now that the meal was over, it was his routine to go to his own place out back. He sighed, his eyes remaining on Misty. “Well…I guess I’m gonna go hit the sack early.” It had been a long day, and as of late, there had been little to discuss between them. Every day, he wished he could help more, but there was simply nothing he could do. He hated the tension. He hated how things had gotten so messed up with Carson, and then Jason, too. Though a little time had passed, the pain lingered, and all Alec could do was watch Misty try to find her way through it all.
He reached over and set a hand on her shoulder. Things felt...strange tonight, and he wasn't sure what it was. It was almost as if a storm was coming, but he couldn't put his finger on it. “If you need anything…let me know, alright?”
“Oh. Okay.” He shrugged, not sure what else he could say. He wasn’t going to push it if she didn’t want to ride. Maybe she really wasn’t feeling well. Or maybe he really had done something unintentional to put her on edge around him. He shot Stacy another glance though, questioning the strangeness of it all. He wanted to believe nothing was wrong, but his gut said otherwise.
“I’ve got a couple days before I hit the road again…but if you change your mind about tonight, you’ve got til midnight. ‘Course, if you wait that long, you’ll prolly hafta wake me up. These old bones ain’t gonna last much longer than that.” He smiled, but it felt rather pointless. It was a strange sensation – suddenly not knowing if he’d done something wrong, or if there was another reason for Ashlee’s distance.
He turned his focus back to finishing his meal, and engaging in conversation with a few others, including Stacy. It was good to be home, despite Ashlee’s odd behavior.
Clint shrugged on his jacket and let the shop door fall shut behind him before he trudged across the driveway. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go grab something to eat or just go home. He knew Wendy and Chase were with everyone else for supper tonight, but as of late, it wasn’t unusual for Clint to just go his own way and connect with them at home later.
Passing by the main house though, a lone figure on the porch swing caught his eye. He wasn’t one to interfere – if someone wanted to be left alone, he had no problem with that. And yet… Caring more than he might admit, he stepped up on the porch before sinking down next to his sister. Neither spoke for what seemed a very long time, until Rosalyn finally broke the silence. “How ya doing?”
“I’m alright. You?”
“I’m fine.” She tucked her hands in her jacket pockets and kept her eyes on the darkness surrounding the ranch. She’d eventually come back from the orchard and retrieved her jacket from inside, but no one had seemed to notice, and she was okay with that.
It was quiet again except for the soft creaking of the swing as Clint’s foot gently maneuvered it back and forth. A slow sigh eventually seeped out though. “You happy?”
“No. …You?”
“No.”
There was another long stretch of silence.
“What are we gonna do about it?” Perhaps Rosalyn really didn’t expect an answer, but it was a question that felt heavy tonight.
“I dunno.” Clint shrugged. “Keep on living, I suppose.”
Rosalyn pursed her lips as she thought. “At least you’ve got a family.”
“Yeah.” He nodded slowly. “If not for them, I’d be long gone.”
“If Dad wasn’t such a jerk, would you say the same thing?”
Clint thought for a long moment. “Yeah.”
“What changed?”
“Me.”
It was quiet again. Rosalyn leaned over to rest her head on her brother’s shoulder. “I’m sorry things aren’t turning out like you wanted.”
“They’re sure not. Can’t change it now, though.”
“Aren’t you and Wendy okay?”
“Yeah.” Clint kept the swing’s gentle pace. “Some days I feel too tied down. But I wouldn’t give her or my kid up…I love them more than life…which is why I’m still here.”
Rosalyn fell silent as a tear trickled down her cheek to soak into Clint’s jacket. Once more, the darkness provided the hushed atmosphere until Clint decided to speak again. “You miss him?”
“Yeah.” Rosalyn sniffed. She didn’t have to ask who her brother meant. Chad was on her mind every day. “I thought I could ignore it…but I can’t. And I don’t even know if it’s real. But I can’t even find out because I’m stuck here.”
Clint’s heart ached with a mix of sadness and anger. “Are you really?”
Jared’s lips curled into a somewhat sly grin as Grace came and joined him. With his one leg now resting on her lap, he moved his bare foot to nudge her arm playfully. “Goofing off is always more appealing than work – you should know that by now.”
He scrunched up his nose a little bit though. “But yeah, I guess I sorta maybe did more than I was supposed to.” He waved a hand in the air. “But I couldn’t stand it any longer. I am so….so….SO tired of seeing the insides of those walls, I think I might be starting to go just slightly insane.” His eyes widened. “Or maybe more than slightly. Maybe a lot. Who’s to tell? A crazy person doesn’t usually know how crazy they really are, do they?”
He let his eyes fall on hers. “They say ignorance is bliss though, so if you really think I’m losing it, don’t tell me. Unless I’m like annoying crazy. Then you can tell me. But let me down easy when you do.”
He bit his lip to stop his ramble. “Sorry. Too much coffee. All I want is to get –” He cut his sentence short, as another wave of his arm was too much, causing a sharp spasm in his back. His whole body tensed, and he cringed, holding his breath until it had passed. “…out of here…” He let the air out of his lungs slowly before giving her a sheepish grin. “Or not. Can I just…not move for a minute or two?”
Bree’s question sent a pang to Gunner’s heart. She wasn’t out of line. It was a perfectly appropriate thing for her to ask after what he’d done. The pain came from his own guilt – guilt that he’d messed up badly enough for her to worry about it happening again. He couldn’t blame her for this hurt he felt.
A deep breath preceded a sigh just as deep before he tightened his hold on Bree. Pulling her as close as he could, he let her head rest on his shoulder, and closed his eyes as he drank in this feeling…this feeling of holding in his arms the only one he’d ever cared for like this.
Though silence reigned for several minutes, his voice did finally surface. “I can’t promise I won’t make mistakes,” he answered quietly. “I can’t promise that I won’t want to run away, or that I’ll never fail you.” A tear made its way to the surface, and he closed his eyes, fighting these mixed emotions.
“I can’t promise I won’t mess up, or even that I won’t do anything stupid to hurt your feelings,” he continued shakily.
“All I can promise is that I’ll try. I’ll try to be the man you deserve. I’ll try to focus on what’s really important. I’ll try to do all that’s humanly possible never to lose your love.”
He drew back a little and kissed her forehead. “You are the most important person in my life, and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I…know I ran away…but nothing made sense again til I started thinking of you. I just…need to remember that more quickly when I hit rough spots.”
Finally in a little more control over his feelings, he tilted his head so he could see Bree’s face again. “I’m…ready…to admit I’ve got a problem. I want my life back. I want to go back to work…and I want things to be okay between us.”
“Eh…I dunno.” Jason shrugged. He was leaned back in his office chair with his feet up on his desk, surrounded by work, but allowing a break to talk to his friend. Besides, it was almost time to go home anyway.
Con hadn’t been seen much at all at the Elite office lately, but with Reese having left him at least ten phone messages, he’d finally relented and come in to see what he wanted – not that he didn’t already know, but so far he’d stood firm in his decision not to return to his job here. “So you haven’t talked to her since?”
“Oh…yeah. Some. I mean, we’re getting along okay I guess. She said she’s not mad at me – just hurt, and I can’t blame her for that. It’s still kinda awkward, but I guess I’m hoping we can end up being good friends again. I miss having her to talk to.”
“Give it time,” Con assured. He stretched out his legs as he sat in the extra chair. “Misty’s going through more than just you breaking up with her.”
“Yeah. She’s on a major warpath with Carson, especially since he’s the reason for my decision. All that just makes me feel worse, though.”
“Do you still feel you made the right choice?”
“Yeah.”
“Then don’t take on extra guilt. You can’t control what happens to her or what decisions she will make.”
“I just want to help. So I walked away. Makes a whole heap of sense.”
“You walked away from a deeper relationship, not from being a friend. Right now, it’s in her hands. You’re doing all you can.”
Jason slowly nodded. He was grateful for Con’s council, as always. “Thanks. At least Alec doesn’t seem too upset with me. We’ve been texting, and while I don’t think he understands, he respects my decision, so we’re cool. I hadn’t expected that, so I’m glad for it.”
“I haven’t been to Mom and Pop’s in ages. How’s Carson?”
“Not good, but that’s all I know. You’re not the only one who hasn’t been there in ages. After everything went down, most of his friends walked away – understandably so.”
Con sighed. “Yeah. It’s sad though. How close are they to getting the divorce?”
Jason scoffed. “Who knows? Carson still hasn’t signed the papers. Unless something changes, Misty may never be free. Even after seeing how alone she is now without me, he hasn’t relented.”
“Think Carson is being mean or just stubborn in his efforts?”
“I really don’t know.” Jason’s eyes dropped. “But…as much as part of me would like to say he’s just being mean…my gut says he’s sincere. I think he’s fighting tooth and toenail to keep Misty in his life.”
“Well…can’t blame him for that.” Con cocked his head. “And you and Katie?”
“What?” Jason’s gaze flew up. “What do you mean?”
Con chuckled. “Nothing. Just wondered if you were getting along, that’s all.”
“Oh. Yeah…yeah, I think we are. I think maybe…she and I can be friends again.” Jason nodded. “And…I’m looking forward to that.”
“Good. Well, if you –”
“Jason?” Reese’s voice over the intercom interrupted Con. “Is Con still in your office?”
Jason threw his friend a grin. “Yeah.”
“Conrad, are you ever going to come see me like your promised? I gotta get going in twenty minutes.”
Con lifted an eyebrow. “Did he just tell me to come see him?”
Jason nodded. “Yeah. You’ve got twenty minutes before you can get out of here.”
Alec crumpled up his napkin and finished off his Pepsi before looking to the other end of the couch at Misty. He’d brought subs home for supper after work for a treat, but now that the meal was over, it was his routine to go to his own place out back. He sighed, his eyes remaining on Misty. “Well…I guess I’m gonna go hit the sack early.” It had been a long day, and as of late, there had been little to discuss between them. Every day, he wished he could help more, but there was simply nothing he could do. He hated the tension. He hated how things had gotten so messed up with Carson, and then Jason, too. Though a little time had passed, the pain lingered, and all Alec could do was watch Misty try to find her way through it all.
He reached over and set a hand on her shoulder. Things felt...strange tonight, and he wasn't sure what it was. It was almost as if a storm was coming, but he couldn't put his finger on it. “If you need anything…let me know, alright?”
12/13/14
Leaving Again...
Just feeling Gunner's around her again Bree melted. She's missed his touch and she missed the safety she always felt in his arms. For a moment she wondered if she had ever told him that before. She's definitely have to sometimes.
Hearing the Gunner wasn't kidnapped or hurt Bree let out a thankful sigh but at the same time it made her slightly more irritated. She'd never want anything bad to happen to Gunner, but if he had been than she wouldn't have a reason to be mad at him right now. It was such a mix of emotion that only a few tears came out in the place of anything else.
"Nothing in life is easy. There is much term oil, hate, and no one is sure of anything. Every time it gets hard...will...will you run away?"
Bree looks up into Gunner's eyes. It was an honest question that she wanted to know. She couldn't handle someone always running away. When things got to hard turning there back and disappearing. She wanted what she always thought Gunner would offer her. The man that would stand with her no matter what, though the good, the hard, the doubt, and the fear. Maybe it was selfish to want that, but in her own mind, having a partnership, a life that was forever was something like this. It was a simple question, but a hard question all in the same.
Ashlee gives a small smile at Eric's comment. She always liked helping him with the stalls, and so many other things around the barn. It could be the work she liked, the horses she likes, or just spending some quality time with Eric she liked even more.
"I like doing that kind of stuff...but it's just not the same with out you around."
Poking at her lasagna Ashlee finally takes a bite. Thinking about Eric's question about riding tonight. She missed it, and she'd love to do it and yet there was this feeling that held her back from jumping at it.
"I'm kind of tired tonight. It's been a long day. Maybe tomorrow or something we can...if your not leaving again."
Stacy throws her own confused look to Eric. It was strange Ashlee didn't jump at going riding. She herself wondered what was wrong, and if she should be worried.
Pulling up to the house Grace gives a small smile. It was nice to see Jared sitting outside, thought he really wasn't meant to be doing to much on his own yet, it was good to see he had the will to try. Getting out of her car and slipping the keys into her pocket Grace walks up the steps and leans against the railing on the porch.
"So I could ask if you had help getting out here but I think I already know the answer. I do admit though it's nice to be greeted out here by you."
Moving closer Grace lifts Jared's leg gently before sitting down and than resting the leg in her lap once again. Giving him a glance, and a small smile she gives her head a little shake. She might not always understand Jared, but that was the best part of knowing him.
"I'm wondering if we should do your exercises today or goof off since it looks like you started without me already."
Hearing the Gunner wasn't kidnapped or hurt Bree let out a thankful sigh but at the same time it made her slightly more irritated. She'd never want anything bad to happen to Gunner, but if he had been than she wouldn't have a reason to be mad at him right now. It was such a mix of emotion that only a few tears came out in the place of anything else.
"Nothing in life is easy. There is much term oil, hate, and no one is sure of anything. Every time it gets hard...will...will you run away?"
Bree looks up into Gunner's eyes. It was an honest question that she wanted to know. She couldn't handle someone always running away. When things got to hard turning there back and disappearing. She wanted what she always thought Gunner would offer her. The man that would stand with her no matter what, though the good, the hard, the doubt, and the fear. Maybe it was selfish to want that, but in her own mind, having a partnership, a life that was forever was something like this. It was a simple question, but a hard question all in the same.
Ashlee gives a small smile at Eric's comment. She always liked helping him with the stalls, and so many other things around the barn. It could be the work she liked, the horses she likes, or just spending some quality time with Eric she liked even more.
"I like doing that kind of stuff...but it's just not the same with out you around."
Poking at her lasagna Ashlee finally takes a bite. Thinking about Eric's question about riding tonight. She missed it, and she'd love to do it and yet there was this feeling that held her back from jumping at it.
"I'm kind of tired tonight. It's been a long day. Maybe tomorrow or something we can...if your not leaving again."
Stacy throws her own confused look to Eric. It was strange Ashlee didn't jump at going riding. She herself wondered what was wrong, and if she should be worried.
Pulling up to the house Grace gives a small smile. It was nice to see Jared sitting outside, thought he really wasn't meant to be doing to much on his own yet, it was good to see he had the will to try. Getting out of her car and slipping the keys into her pocket Grace walks up the steps and leans against the railing on the porch.
"So I could ask if you had help getting out here but I think I already know the answer. I do admit though it's nice to be greeted out here by you."
Moving closer Grace lifts Jared's leg gently before sitting down and than resting the leg in her lap once again. Giving him a glance, and a small smile she gives her head a little shake. She might not always understand Jared, but that was the best part of knowing him.
"I'm wondering if we should do your exercises today or goof off since it looks like you started without me already."
10/23/14
Too Adventurous
Being embraced by Bree, Gunner’s arms wrapped tightly around her, just holding her close. “I’m okay,” he assured quietly. “I’m okay.” He moved to the chair and sat down, pulling her down in his lap where he ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head. “I’m so sorry I worried you.”
He withdrew just far enough to rest his forehead against hers as his hand gently stroked her cheek. “I didn’t get kidnapped or hurt or anything like that.” His head hurt. His body hurt. His heart hurt. But it was by no one else’s doing. “I just…I was gone… from myself… from everybody.”
It took a moment for him to go on. Though things seemed a little clearer now, and though Father James had helped him think through some of his issues, he knew it was still going to be a long road. He could feel within his battered heart that he couldn’t just fix and forget all he’d been through.
“I…was wrong. To just take off.” His eyes fell from hers as he fought his raging emotions. “I lost track of myself… I lost all track of time. I…I don’t even know if anybody tried to call me or anything. But I know I worried you, and I’m sorry.”
Now that he was here trying to explain all this to her, his guilt increased. It all sounded so self-centered, no matter how far out of his mind he’d been. How desperate. How broken. He swallowed hard before settling back in the chair so he could see Bree’s face highlighted by the sun that had almost disappeared below the horizon. He loved her so much…yet his heart was overshadowed by so much pain.
“After talking to Hope and your uncle…” He was sure by now Bree knew all that had happened at the office. “…I just… I couldn’t handle it. So…I ran to the first place that gave me peace after the accident. And…” He shrugged. “I don’t remember everything. It’s all kind of a fog. I didn’t mean to disappear. It just…happened.”
He bit his lip and dared a new glance at her eyes. His own were so weary…so full of desperation to fight the darkness that was trying to hard to overtake him. “A friend helped me think straight again, and…I came back here. To you. ‘Cause you’re the most important thing in my life. Not the past.”
Ashlee hadn’t been riding? Eric was surprised to hear that one. And who on earth would be grumpy? Save Jim, but he wasn’t around much anyway. Eric squinted at the young girl, noting her lack of happy smile, and the fact that Stacy had to prompt her to say anything else. He’d thought she wasn’t upset with him since she’d come to eat, but now he wasn’t so sure, and her last comment threw him for an even bigger loop.
He blinked and shook his head. “Fun stuff? With me around?” he teased. “Since when did mucking out stalls and sorting tangled tack become so entertaining?” He took a small bite of lasagna, but also threw Stacy a confused glance. Was he the only one that sensed Ashlee’s strange behavior? Maybe the girl had just had a bad day or wasn’t feeling well. For all he knew, at her age she could be hormonal, and he wasn’t going to touch that topic with a ten-foot pole. Something seemed more off than that, though, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. Maybe she just needed something to cheer her up.
“Tell you what…” He lowered his voice and glanced around as if making sure no one was listening before leaning in closer to Ashlee. “I’m in the mood for a midnight ride tonight, if your mom will let you. It’s a perfect night to see the stars. That is…if you want to.”
In reality, he was exhausted from being on the road, his body ached, and he knew he needed to get some good sleep. But if Ashlee agreed to go riding with him, then at least he could eliminate guessing if she were upset with him.
“Wait, wait, shouldn’t you –”
“I’m fine. It’ll –”
“But you should wait.”
“Just give me a couple minutes.”
“You shouldn’t be –”
“Oh, quit worrying.”
Lydia sighed and threw her hands up in the air before she turned to head back to the kitchen. “You are as stubborn as your father.”
Jared smirked and shook his head. Yeah…he probably was. And his mother was right – he probably shouldn’t be trying this on his own. But he was going stir crazy, stuck between his wheelchair and bed all day every day. Even though he saw Grace a couple times a week and got out of the house, he was still confined. She’d come over for supper a few times again too, but, like always, he was still stuck in the house. Getting out and about was just too much hassle yet – other than that one time he went to that church picnic…which…had been interesting. At least his arm was out of a sling now. He’d been back in the hospital for a few days the week before after getting sick again and dealing with some more lingering effects from the accident. One of these days, he hoped he’d never have to see another surgeon again.
Still standing in his bedroom doorway, dressed in an old t-shirt and jeans, he looked down at his legs and the two new crutches strapped to his forearms. His fingers gripped the handles a little more tightly. He’d stood on his own plenty of times lately – he could get himself around a bit…right? He hadn’t tried this yet with Grace…and he really wasn’t supposed to be moving around so much after last week’s surgery…but he was bored out of his mind.
Ever so slowly, he inched his feet forward, one at a time, leaning heavily on his crutches for support. Making it down the hallway, he stumbled a few times, but managed to catch himself against the wall and keep on going until he’d reached the front door. Though still in his bare feet, he continued his route out onto the front porch. He’d made it. All by himself. And the fresh air felt oh so good.
It took a little doing, but he managed to ease himself down into the porch swing before setting the crutches aside. He couldn’t remember enjoyed just being outside before all this had happened. He’d always been so busy…so intent on his next job or next trip or next scheme. He’d never taken the time to just…be. Not until recently. Until all he had was time. And Grace. She was…the warmth of sunshine itself.
A painful muscle spasm in his back made him stiffen and cringe until it passed. Well, that’s what he got for being too adventurous. The doctors had warned him to be careful as he increased his activity.
He slipped his cell phone from his pocket and maneuvered with his thumb to find Grace’s last text message that said what time she was coming today. Maybe he’d just stay out here until she came.
He withdrew just far enough to rest his forehead against hers as his hand gently stroked her cheek. “I didn’t get kidnapped or hurt or anything like that.” His head hurt. His body hurt. His heart hurt. But it was by no one else’s doing. “I just…I was gone… from myself… from everybody.”
It took a moment for him to go on. Though things seemed a little clearer now, and though Father James had helped him think through some of his issues, he knew it was still going to be a long road. He could feel within his battered heart that he couldn’t just fix and forget all he’d been through.
“I…was wrong. To just take off.” His eyes fell from hers as he fought his raging emotions. “I lost track of myself… I lost all track of time. I…I don’t even know if anybody tried to call me or anything. But I know I worried you, and I’m sorry.”
Now that he was here trying to explain all this to her, his guilt increased. It all sounded so self-centered, no matter how far out of his mind he’d been. How desperate. How broken. He swallowed hard before settling back in the chair so he could see Bree’s face highlighted by the sun that had almost disappeared below the horizon. He loved her so much…yet his heart was overshadowed by so much pain.
“After talking to Hope and your uncle…” He was sure by now Bree knew all that had happened at the office. “…I just… I couldn’t handle it. So…I ran to the first place that gave me peace after the accident. And…” He shrugged. “I don’t remember everything. It’s all kind of a fog. I didn’t mean to disappear. It just…happened.”
He bit his lip and dared a new glance at her eyes. His own were so weary…so full of desperation to fight the darkness that was trying to hard to overtake him. “A friend helped me think straight again, and…I came back here. To you. ‘Cause you’re the most important thing in my life. Not the past.”
Ashlee hadn’t been riding? Eric was surprised to hear that one. And who on earth would be grumpy? Save Jim, but he wasn’t around much anyway. Eric squinted at the young girl, noting her lack of happy smile, and the fact that Stacy had to prompt her to say anything else. He’d thought she wasn’t upset with him since she’d come to eat, but now he wasn’t so sure, and her last comment threw him for an even bigger loop.
He blinked and shook his head. “Fun stuff? With me around?” he teased. “Since when did mucking out stalls and sorting tangled tack become so entertaining?” He took a small bite of lasagna, but also threw Stacy a confused glance. Was he the only one that sensed Ashlee’s strange behavior? Maybe the girl had just had a bad day or wasn’t feeling well. For all he knew, at her age she could be hormonal, and he wasn’t going to touch that topic with a ten-foot pole. Something seemed more off than that, though, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. Maybe she just needed something to cheer her up.
“Tell you what…” He lowered his voice and glanced around as if making sure no one was listening before leaning in closer to Ashlee. “I’m in the mood for a midnight ride tonight, if your mom will let you. It’s a perfect night to see the stars. That is…if you want to.”
In reality, he was exhausted from being on the road, his body ached, and he knew he needed to get some good sleep. But if Ashlee agreed to go riding with him, then at least he could eliminate guessing if she were upset with him.
“Wait, wait, shouldn’t you –”
“I’m fine. It’ll –”
“But you should wait.”
“Just give me a couple minutes.”
“You shouldn’t be –”
“Oh, quit worrying.”
Lydia sighed and threw her hands up in the air before she turned to head back to the kitchen. “You are as stubborn as your father.”
Jared smirked and shook his head. Yeah…he probably was. And his mother was right – he probably shouldn’t be trying this on his own. But he was going stir crazy, stuck between his wheelchair and bed all day every day. Even though he saw Grace a couple times a week and got out of the house, he was still confined. She’d come over for supper a few times again too, but, like always, he was still stuck in the house. Getting out and about was just too much hassle yet – other than that one time he went to that church picnic…which…had been interesting. At least his arm was out of a sling now. He’d been back in the hospital for a few days the week before after getting sick again and dealing with some more lingering effects from the accident. One of these days, he hoped he’d never have to see another surgeon again.
Still standing in his bedroom doorway, dressed in an old t-shirt and jeans, he looked down at his legs and the two new crutches strapped to his forearms. His fingers gripped the handles a little more tightly. He’d stood on his own plenty of times lately – he could get himself around a bit…right? He hadn’t tried this yet with Grace…and he really wasn’t supposed to be moving around so much after last week’s surgery…but he was bored out of his mind.
Ever so slowly, he inched his feet forward, one at a time, leaning heavily on his crutches for support. Making it down the hallway, he stumbled a few times, but managed to catch himself against the wall and keep on going until he’d reached the front door. Though still in his bare feet, he continued his route out onto the front porch. He’d made it. All by himself. And the fresh air felt oh so good.
It took a little doing, but he managed to ease himself down into the porch swing before setting the crutches aside. He couldn’t remember enjoyed just being outside before all this had happened. He’d always been so busy…so intent on his next job or next trip or next scheme. He’d never taken the time to just…be. Not until recently. Until all he had was time. And Grace. She was…the warmth of sunshine itself.
A painful muscle spasm in his back made him stiffen and cringe until it passed. Well, that’s what he got for being too adventurous. The doctors had warned him to be careful as he increased his activity.
He slipped his cell phone from his pocket and maneuvered with his thumb to find Grace’s last text message that said what time she was coming today. Maybe he’d just stay out here until she came.
10/18/14
Only a little bit
Letting the breeze just blow through her hair Bree sat, thinking, but not enough to remember what about. Maybe it was the time she'd spend with Gunner, maybe it was her time as a child with JT, or maybe it was a mixture of both. They were the only family Bree had, the only family she cared to remember, and they were everything to her. Where things got so messed up she didn't know, and why she couldn't help Gunner was a whole nothing thing.
Hearing the floor creek Bree doesn't open her eyes. It was more than likely her Uncle back from his date. She'd lost track of time so maybe it was later than she thought. But her eyes stayed closed, she was tired of facing the world, and worrying.
At the house of Gunner's voice though Bree gives a jump and opens her eyes a small smile spreads across her lips, though her eyes were still filled with worry. Standing quickly and throwing her arms around his neck Bree burys her face into him. He smell the same, the same like she had remember.
"Gunner....we were so worried. Are you ok? What happened? Were you kidnapped? Hurt..."
Bree gasps for air as she hugs Gunner a little tighter. She didn't want to let go for fear he'd be gone. To just have her arms around him again it felt so nice and she'd missed him so much.
Finishing her own drink Katie looks down at her cup before up again. Giving a soft smile and squinting her eyes a little she chuckles to herself. It had been a long time since anyone said she was a hero. It was kind of nice, and reminded her of better days.
"Happy I could help. Even if it was only a little bit."
Placing some money on the table for her drink and a tip Katie stands putting her jacket on and putting her hair out and letting it fall where it wanted. Her hair was staring to get long again and she hadn't decided if she wanted to cut it again or not.
"Have a good night J, and dont beat yourself up to much. Just give Misty some time, she'll come around."
Sitting down with her mom and Eric Ashlee felt a little strange for the first time. She understood what Clint was talking about, but still it was hard, that feeling in her heart, a sadness that Eric was just going to go away again. She missed him more than anyone new, he was the only farther, and father like figure in her life, and she'd grown attach to that.
"No no riding. I don't like to when your not here. Everyone else is to grumpy."
Looking down at her food Ashlee takes a bit before looking back up again and giving a half smile to her mom, than Eric. She felt at a loss, not sure what to talk about. Nothing much was really going on, and she wasn't riding.
Stacy takes not to her daughter strange behavior as she took a sip of her coffee. She thought for sure she's be excited to see Eric come home, but something just seemed off and she wasn't sure what or why.
"You've been helping Dylan more with his chores haven't you? That's always exciting."
Ashlee gives a small shrug.
"Yeah, I guess. Nice to hang out with someone. Other than that not much really to talk about at the moment. All the fun stuff happens when your here Eric."
Hearing the floor creek Bree doesn't open her eyes. It was more than likely her Uncle back from his date. She'd lost track of time so maybe it was later than she thought. But her eyes stayed closed, she was tired of facing the world, and worrying.
At the house of Gunner's voice though Bree gives a jump and opens her eyes a small smile spreads across her lips, though her eyes were still filled with worry. Standing quickly and throwing her arms around his neck Bree burys her face into him. He smell the same, the same like she had remember.
"Gunner....we were so worried. Are you ok? What happened? Were you kidnapped? Hurt..."
Bree gasps for air as she hugs Gunner a little tighter. She didn't want to let go for fear he'd be gone. To just have her arms around him again it felt so nice and she'd missed him so much.
Finishing her own drink Katie looks down at her cup before up again. Giving a soft smile and squinting her eyes a little she chuckles to herself. It had been a long time since anyone said she was a hero. It was kind of nice, and reminded her of better days.
"Happy I could help. Even if it was only a little bit."
Placing some money on the table for her drink and a tip Katie stands putting her jacket on and putting her hair out and letting it fall where it wanted. Her hair was staring to get long again and she hadn't decided if she wanted to cut it again or not.
"Have a good night J, and dont beat yourself up to much. Just give Misty some time, she'll come around."
Sitting down with her mom and Eric Ashlee felt a little strange for the first time. She understood what Clint was talking about, but still it was hard, that feeling in her heart, a sadness that Eric was just going to go away again. She missed him more than anyone new, he was the only farther, and father like figure in her life, and she'd grown attach to that.
"No no riding. I don't like to when your not here. Everyone else is to grumpy."
Looking down at her food Ashlee takes a bit before looking back up again and giving a half smile to her mom, than Eric. She felt at a loss, not sure what to talk about. Nothing much was really going on, and she wasn't riding.
Stacy takes not to her daughter strange behavior as she took a sip of her coffee. She thought for sure she's be excited to see Eric come home, but something just seemed off and she wasn't sure what or why.
"You've been helping Dylan more with his chores haven't you? That's always exciting."
Ashlee gives a small shrug.
"Yeah, I guess. Nice to hang out with someone. Other than that not much really to talk about at the moment. All the fun stuff happens when your here Eric."
9/2/14
Return
JT mustered up a small smile for Bree. “I’d kill him first. Then you could slap him.”
It seemed a slight amount of humor was the only way to cope at this point, even if it felt rather lame. But even though they both wanted desperately to do something – anything – the Elite was doing all they could, leaving them with simply waiting and worrying…
The lights were dim. But not in a scary way. It was more of a warm, soothing light, easy on the eyes and comforting to the soul. The air was just as welcoming, with a scent that would tell any keen mind that they were in an older atmosphere, but it was only because of aged wood, not a lack of upkeep. Mixed in was the sweet smell of candles burning, which also contributed to the glowing light.
Gunner closed his eyes again and curled in a little tighter on the cot. His head hurt too much to lift off the pillow, and the rest of his body ached just as much. Then his nostrils caught a new scent. One that awakened his stomach.
"You're fighting your body's desire to rise and nourish itself. It's a losing battle, unless you wish to fade into an eternal sleep before your time."
Gunner reopened one eye. "Who's to say it's not my time?" His voice was hoarse - a sign he'd used it little the past few days.
"Does the Lord wish his children to give up on the life he's given them? Or worse yet, cause their own death through such means?"
It took several moments but Gunner finally rolled over onto his stomach. He propped his chin up with his pillow and looked off the end of the cot to Father James, who sat at a small table with a steaming bowl of soup. "If he gave me this life, he can have it back."
Father James offered a soft smile. "Was it he who willed the events in your life, or was it the fault of people who make mistakes?"
"Like me?"
"I didn't say that." Father James gestured to the soup. "Come. Eat. You’ve been in bed for two days and it's time to get up."
Gunner didn't want to move. "I'm not hungry."
"You’re gonna lie to me now?"
"I'm not. I don't want to eat."
"Ah. Now that's different. But you need to anyway. So come on. Or I'll remove you from that cot myself."
An ever-so-slight grin seeped onto Gunner's lips. "You always did bully me around."
Father James chuckled. "Only because your hard head needed it."
Gunner sighed deeply and finally sat up. Everything hurt from head to toe, and he groaned. "You sure I didn't already die?"
"Mmm...no, I'd say you've got an awful lot of life left in you."
Despite Gunner’s desire to stay put, he knew he couldn’t. Eventually, he’d have to rise and face the day. Face life again. A few minutes later, he had joined Father James at the table in the small living quarters off the back of the aged but grand structure of beautiful woodwork and stone workmanship. Even he had to admit that the soup tasted good and was helping clear his mind.
Father James leaned forward in the table just studying his younger friend. Gunner had stumbled in a couple days prior, sick with stress and spilling his heart about all that had been happening. It had been late that night when he'd finally fallen asleep, and for two days had only slept, too worn out for anything else.
Gunner ate in silence until he’d reached the bottom of the bowl and set it aside. “Gonna kick me out today?”
“You know I won’t ever kick you out. But I must admit, I’m concerned for those who I’m sure are worried about you.”
“I know.” Gunner’s eyes fell to the table. “I just…I dunno.”
“You know exactly why you’re avoiding those you’re closest to.”
“I do?”
Father James grinned. “I don’t want to sit here all day, so I’ll spell it out for you. Those you’re closest to make you feel most vulnerable – which is normal. But in your vulnerability, you have less control, and the less control you have, the more upset you get.”
Gunner’s eyes remained down. “So…”
“So you’ve got to learn to let go of the need for control. Whether or not you still question the past, blame yourself or not, the past is beyond your control, as are facts you face now. If you can quit trying to control everything, you’ll find that peace you’re looking for… and you’ll be able to face those you love without fighting your vulnerability.”
Gunner was silent for several moments. “Well, alrighty then.”
Father James chuckled. “What? No snippy comeback?”
“I’m too tired.” Gunner set his head down on his arms. “I don’t remember ever being so exhausted.”
“It’s the stress. You’re so strung out, your body can’t function beyond survival. Another reason you need to get this thing under control.”
“By not controlling it,” Gunner mumbled.
“Right.” Father James’ smile returned. “I knew you’d catch on quick.”
Gunner managed a scoff. “Thanks for your confidence.”
“I do have confidence in you, Brent. I always have. Ever since you first came into this church searching for answers, just as you are now.”
“I wish I was still searching for the same thing.” Gunner’s voice was muffled in his arms as he refused to lift his head again. “At least I wouldn’t have the knowledge that my entire wasted life was no one’s fault but my own.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Father James took hold of his shoulder. “Aside from your control issue, you need to let go of your unnecessary guilt. It’s a burden you were not meant to bear. So don’t. Truth or not, let it go. You have to live for your future, not the past.”
Gunner growled in frustration and finally lifted his head. “When I was released from the hospital, all I had was a stuffy, dishonest lawyer to help me. Coming here was a last ditch effort to find some sort of meaning.”
“And did you find it?”
“Yeah. And things made sense til I started questioning what really happened with my parents.”
“The truth you found here has not changed. The power and grace of God do not shift from one minute to the next. The things that made sense to you back then – that helped you sort out your life – those things are still there. You’ve just started focusing on the wrong things.”
“I’ve never left my faith…”
Father James shook his head. “Just because someone doesn’t abandon their belief in God, doesn’t mean they are walking the correct path. Any number of people can say they believe in God, and even have faith in Him. But if they don’t live a life according to His will, they might as well not believe at all.”
He stood and took the empty bowl to a nearby sink. “I’m not saying you walked away from your Christian life or were destined for Hell. But I do think your priorities have been readjusted to the point that you need to get things back in order. Your past is very important to you. I can’t imagine waking up one day and not remembering anything. But your future is what counts. That’s where the life God has given you is. That’s where your fiancé is. That’s where everyone who loves you is. And that’s where your purpose is, should you choose to fulfill it.”
Gunner folded his arms and rested his chin on them, lost in thought as Father James talked. It wasn’t a whole lot different than some of the things Hope had told him. He’d just been unwilling to listen. Or maybe he was just so tired today that he didn’t have the strength to argue anymore…
…It was early evening, and the fog over Gunner’s mind had finally lifted – at least enough that he was able to function again outside the care of Father James for now, and enough to drive. They’d talked all day, and though his spirit was still heavy, at least he had some goals, one of which was being brave enough to return to life again.
He dared a glance at his cell phone as he drove – the first look in days – only to find it completely dead, the battery having long since run out. He imagined there were many messages he’d missed. He knew Bree too well to think she’d just ignored his absence, especially since it had been several days. And while he didn’t think he was important enough to be missed by too many people, he knew in his heart that he’d worried Bree, and he was sorry. He was sorry about a lot of things.
It didn’t take long to reach his destination. His temporary home. Parking out on the curb, he took a moment to just look at the house. And he knew he’d be staying here longer than he liked. But he knew he needed the help. The support.
Moments later, he was inside, but saw no one. It seemed JT was gone, but Bree's car was here. After a brief search, he realized she was out on the back porch. And for a few seconds, he just watched her from behind the glass door. She looked so peaceful, sitting in the evening breeze. And he felt even sorrier for abandoning her like he had.
Slipping silently outside, he approached quietly...carefully. He eased down in the chair next to hers, his tired eyes taking in the setting sun. "Forgive me?"
Jason grinned and shook his head. “I’m glad. Otherwise, I’d be in a heap more trouble than I already am.”
He downed the rest of his coffee and stared at the empty cup. He didn’t really want to call an end to their time here…he’d…enjoyed it. As badly as he felt about everything with Misty, there was a little more peace now. A little more hope that things would be okay.
“Well…I suppose I ought to get home to my pup before he tears my house to shreds.” He looked at Katie once more, his expression a soft one. “Thanks…for being my hero once more.”
Eric was busy enough laughing, talking and eating that he didn’t notice Ashlee until she’d made it to their table. He glanced up quickly, a little surprised after his earlier encounter with her, but just as fast, a new smile appeared.
“Well of course you can sit here.” He pulled out the chair next to him and threw her a wink. “It’s never too late.”
He still had no idea why Ashlee had been so cool with him earlier, but he felt better now that she’d joined them. At least she must not be mad at him like he’d feared.
“So…” He took another bite of garlic bread. “What have you been up to since I left? Been keeping up with your riding?”
It seemed a slight amount of humor was the only way to cope at this point, even if it felt rather lame. But even though they both wanted desperately to do something – anything – the Elite was doing all they could, leaving them with simply waiting and worrying…
The lights were dim. But not in a scary way. It was more of a warm, soothing light, easy on the eyes and comforting to the soul. The air was just as welcoming, with a scent that would tell any keen mind that they were in an older atmosphere, but it was only because of aged wood, not a lack of upkeep. Mixed in was the sweet smell of candles burning, which also contributed to the glowing light.
Gunner closed his eyes again and curled in a little tighter on the cot. His head hurt too much to lift off the pillow, and the rest of his body ached just as much. Then his nostrils caught a new scent. One that awakened his stomach.
"You're fighting your body's desire to rise and nourish itself. It's a losing battle, unless you wish to fade into an eternal sleep before your time."
Gunner reopened one eye. "Who's to say it's not my time?" His voice was hoarse - a sign he'd used it little the past few days.
"Does the Lord wish his children to give up on the life he's given them? Or worse yet, cause their own death through such means?"
It took several moments but Gunner finally rolled over onto his stomach. He propped his chin up with his pillow and looked off the end of the cot to Father James, who sat at a small table with a steaming bowl of soup. "If he gave me this life, he can have it back."
Father James offered a soft smile. "Was it he who willed the events in your life, or was it the fault of people who make mistakes?"
"Like me?"
"I didn't say that." Father James gestured to the soup. "Come. Eat. You’ve been in bed for two days and it's time to get up."
Gunner didn't want to move. "I'm not hungry."
"You’re gonna lie to me now?"
"I'm not. I don't want to eat."
"Ah. Now that's different. But you need to anyway. So come on. Or I'll remove you from that cot myself."
An ever-so-slight grin seeped onto Gunner's lips. "You always did bully me around."
Father James chuckled. "Only because your hard head needed it."
Gunner sighed deeply and finally sat up. Everything hurt from head to toe, and he groaned. "You sure I didn't already die?"
"Mmm...no, I'd say you've got an awful lot of life left in you."
Despite Gunner’s desire to stay put, he knew he couldn’t. Eventually, he’d have to rise and face the day. Face life again. A few minutes later, he had joined Father James at the table in the small living quarters off the back of the aged but grand structure of beautiful woodwork and stone workmanship. Even he had to admit that the soup tasted good and was helping clear his mind.
Father James leaned forward in the table just studying his younger friend. Gunner had stumbled in a couple days prior, sick with stress and spilling his heart about all that had been happening. It had been late that night when he'd finally fallen asleep, and for two days had only slept, too worn out for anything else.
Gunner ate in silence until he’d reached the bottom of the bowl and set it aside. “Gonna kick me out today?”
“You know I won’t ever kick you out. But I must admit, I’m concerned for those who I’m sure are worried about you.”
“I know.” Gunner’s eyes fell to the table. “I just…I dunno.”
“You know exactly why you’re avoiding those you’re closest to.”
“I do?”
Father James grinned. “I don’t want to sit here all day, so I’ll spell it out for you. Those you’re closest to make you feel most vulnerable – which is normal. But in your vulnerability, you have less control, and the less control you have, the more upset you get.”
Gunner’s eyes remained down. “So…”
“So you’ve got to learn to let go of the need for control. Whether or not you still question the past, blame yourself or not, the past is beyond your control, as are facts you face now. If you can quit trying to control everything, you’ll find that peace you’re looking for… and you’ll be able to face those you love without fighting your vulnerability.”
Gunner was silent for several moments. “Well, alrighty then.”
Father James chuckled. “What? No snippy comeback?”
“I’m too tired.” Gunner set his head down on his arms. “I don’t remember ever being so exhausted.”
“It’s the stress. You’re so strung out, your body can’t function beyond survival. Another reason you need to get this thing under control.”
“By not controlling it,” Gunner mumbled.
“Right.” Father James’ smile returned. “I knew you’d catch on quick.”
Gunner managed a scoff. “Thanks for your confidence.”
“I do have confidence in you, Brent. I always have. Ever since you first came into this church searching for answers, just as you are now.”
“I wish I was still searching for the same thing.” Gunner’s voice was muffled in his arms as he refused to lift his head again. “At least I wouldn’t have the knowledge that my entire wasted life was no one’s fault but my own.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Father James took hold of his shoulder. “Aside from your control issue, you need to let go of your unnecessary guilt. It’s a burden you were not meant to bear. So don’t. Truth or not, let it go. You have to live for your future, not the past.”
Gunner growled in frustration and finally lifted his head. “When I was released from the hospital, all I had was a stuffy, dishonest lawyer to help me. Coming here was a last ditch effort to find some sort of meaning.”
“And did you find it?”
“Yeah. And things made sense til I started questioning what really happened with my parents.”
“The truth you found here has not changed. The power and grace of God do not shift from one minute to the next. The things that made sense to you back then – that helped you sort out your life – those things are still there. You’ve just started focusing on the wrong things.”
“I’ve never left my faith…”
Father James shook his head. “Just because someone doesn’t abandon their belief in God, doesn’t mean they are walking the correct path. Any number of people can say they believe in God, and even have faith in Him. But if they don’t live a life according to His will, they might as well not believe at all.”
He stood and took the empty bowl to a nearby sink. “I’m not saying you walked away from your Christian life or were destined for Hell. But I do think your priorities have been readjusted to the point that you need to get things back in order. Your past is very important to you. I can’t imagine waking up one day and not remembering anything. But your future is what counts. That’s where the life God has given you is. That’s where your fiancé is. That’s where everyone who loves you is. And that’s where your purpose is, should you choose to fulfill it.”
Gunner folded his arms and rested his chin on them, lost in thought as Father James talked. It wasn’t a whole lot different than some of the things Hope had told him. He’d just been unwilling to listen. Or maybe he was just so tired today that he didn’t have the strength to argue anymore…
…It was early evening, and the fog over Gunner’s mind had finally lifted – at least enough that he was able to function again outside the care of Father James for now, and enough to drive. They’d talked all day, and though his spirit was still heavy, at least he had some goals, one of which was being brave enough to return to life again.
He dared a glance at his cell phone as he drove – the first look in days – only to find it completely dead, the battery having long since run out. He imagined there were many messages he’d missed. He knew Bree too well to think she’d just ignored his absence, especially since it had been several days. And while he didn’t think he was important enough to be missed by too many people, he knew in his heart that he’d worried Bree, and he was sorry. He was sorry about a lot of things.
It didn’t take long to reach his destination. His temporary home. Parking out on the curb, he took a moment to just look at the house. And he knew he’d be staying here longer than he liked. But he knew he needed the help. The support.
Moments later, he was inside, but saw no one. It seemed JT was gone, but Bree's car was here. After a brief search, he realized she was out on the back porch. And for a few seconds, he just watched her from behind the glass door. She looked so peaceful, sitting in the evening breeze. And he felt even sorrier for abandoning her like he had.
Slipping silently outside, he approached quietly...carefully. He eased down in the chair next to hers, his tired eyes taking in the setting sun. "Forgive me?"
Jason grinned and shook his head. “I’m glad. Otherwise, I’d be in a heap more trouble than I already am.”
He downed the rest of his coffee and stared at the empty cup. He didn’t really want to call an end to their time here…he’d…enjoyed it. As badly as he felt about everything with Misty, there was a little more peace now. A little more hope that things would be okay.
“Well…I suppose I ought to get home to my pup before he tears my house to shreds.” He looked at Katie once more, his expression a soft one. “Thanks…for being my hero once more.”
Eric was busy enough laughing, talking and eating that he didn’t notice Ashlee until she’d made it to their table. He glanced up quickly, a little surprised after his earlier encounter with her, but just as fast, a new smile appeared.
“Well of course you can sit here.” He pulled out the chair next to him and threw her a wink. “It’s never too late.”
He still had no idea why Ashlee had been so cool with him earlier, but he felt better now that she’d joined them. At least she must not be mad at him like he’d feared.
“So…” He took another bite of garlic bread. “What have you been up to since I left? Been keeping up with your riding?”
8/30/14
Slap Him
Standing by the window Bree just looked out it. She didn't know where Gunner was, if he was ok or not, She didn't know anything. She'd left him at least 25 if not more voice mails pleading him to call her, or just text and say he was ok. At this points she'd take anything at all just to stop the worry.
Hearing her Uncles voice Bree turns around and wraps her arms around herself. She had hoped that there had been new yet there was no surprise there wasn't. Walking away from the window and sinking down on the couch she lets out a long sigh.
"I wish I'd just know where he was and know he was ok or something. How could he do this to us? Doesn't he know we would be worried sick?"
She hadn't slept, hardly eat anything, and didn't go to work. Gunner was her life, he meant everything to her and without him she felt lost. She could only pray he was ok, and soon he'd show himself.
"Good thing hes not here, I'd slap him."
"It wasn't just you J. I did lots of things wrong too."
Feeling Jason's hand on top of hers for a second it took Katie back but she didn't pull her hand away. The warm feeling was nice. It had been a long time since she'd felt that warmth and thought she could never explain it, it was different than any other touch it was Jason's touch, and though they might be romantically involved anymore but there was still warmth.
Once Jason lets go of her hand Katie gives a smile to him before finally looking down at her cup. Jason was never at good saying he was sorry so maybe this was his way. It was straight to the point with no words at all but fill with much meaning.
"I'm almost one hundred percent sure she will forgive you, just like I have. It's in our blood and our hearts to not hold on to anything for to long."
Thinking about Clint's words Ashlee fiddles with a wrench on the table. She wasn't surprised he'd figured out what was going on. And his words told that he was indeed smart. She let what he said sink in, and it did make sense. But still it seemed easier said than done to let go of the fear. But maybe she could at least try.
"I'm going to get going, maybe try to eat a little. Thanks Clint."
Setting the wrench down Ashlee turns and heads for the door. Stopping once there she turns and looks back at Clint for a moment. With a small smile she speaks softly.
"Hey Clint..? You don't stay away to long either ok? Life is to short after all."
Disappearing through through the door Ashlee makes her way to the mess hall. Once getting there she peeks though the window a moment. Seeing her mom laugh makes her smile a little too. She liked seeing her mom laugh. If her mom trusted Eric with her heart, than why couldn't see. Maybe it was the still lingering question of why He had to leave again if he was so happy.
Finally stepping away from the window Ashlee enters, and walks over to the table with her mom and Eric. Her limbs in her belt look she looks between them both before questioning.
"Can I sit here too if its not to late?"
Hearing her Uncles voice Bree turns around and wraps her arms around herself. She had hoped that there had been new yet there was no surprise there wasn't. Walking away from the window and sinking down on the couch she lets out a long sigh.
"I wish I'd just know where he was and know he was ok or something. How could he do this to us? Doesn't he know we would be worried sick?"
She hadn't slept, hardly eat anything, and didn't go to work. Gunner was her life, he meant everything to her and without him she felt lost. She could only pray he was ok, and soon he'd show himself.
"Good thing hes not here, I'd slap him."
"It wasn't just you J. I did lots of things wrong too."
Feeling Jason's hand on top of hers for a second it took Katie back but she didn't pull her hand away. The warm feeling was nice. It had been a long time since she'd felt that warmth and thought she could never explain it, it was different than any other touch it was Jason's touch, and though they might be romantically involved anymore but there was still warmth.
Once Jason lets go of her hand Katie gives a smile to him before finally looking down at her cup. Jason was never at good saying he was sorry so maybe this was his way. It was straight to the point with no words at all but fill with much meaning.
"I'm almost one hundred percent sure she will forgive you, just like I have. It's in our blood and our hearts to not hold on to anything for to long."
Thinking about Clint's words Ashlee fiddles with a wrench on the table. She wasn't surprised he'd figured out what was going on. And his words told that he was indeed smart. She let what he said sink in, and it did make sense. But still it seemed easier said than done to let go of the fear. But maybe she could at least try.
"I'm going to get going, maybe try to eat a little. Thanks Clint."
Setting the wrench down Ashlee turns and heads for the door. Stopping once there she turns and looks back at Clint for a moment. With a small smile she speaks softly.
"Hey Clint..? You don't stay away to long either ok? Life is to short after all."
Disappearing through through the door Ashlee makes her way to the mess hall. Once getting there she peeks though the window a moment. Seeing her mom laugh makes her smile a little too. She liked seeing her mom laugh. If her mom trusted Eric with her heart, than why couldn't see. Maybe it was the still lingering question of why He had to leave again if he was so happy.
Finally stepping away from the window Ashlee enters, and walks over to the table with her mom and Eric. Her limbs in her belt look she looks between them both before questioning.
"Can I sit here too if its not to late?"
8/26/14
Missing
JT's heart hurt as he watched his friend in so much pain. He couldn't imagine the nightmare Gunner must be going through, and only wanted to help. But he didn't know how.
Grateful for Hope's intervention, he stood back and remained quiet. It felt like waiting for a volcano to erupt...and just as unmanageable.
Grateful for Hope's intervention, he stood back and remained quiet. It felt like waiting for a volcano to erupt...and just as unmanageable.
Gunner could feel another tear trickle down his cheek, and
as much as it bothered him, he let it be. The worst part about being here –
about these sessions with Hope – was that there were no secrets. Nothing to
hide behind. Now allowance for silence. Here was where wounds were ripped open
and his pride abolished. And it hurt. A lot.
“I’m always trapped here.” The retort came out hoarsely
through thick emotions. “Just because I have a choice between losing my job
entirely or not, doesn’t make it less of a trap.”
The anger returned to his vacant eyes. “If people around
here actually cared, they’d leave me alone.” There was more. More emotions.
More feelings running rampant. More words on the tip of his tongue. But he
swallowed them. His gaze met JT’s and Hope’s once more before he spun around to
leave the office, slamming the door shut behind him.
Only now did JT realize he’d been holding his breath, and he
let it out slowly before rubbing his hands over his face. “Well…at the very
least, we hit a nerve, which probably means we were traveling down the path of
truth…finally.”
He looked over at Hope, his expression one of quiet concern.
“Let’s hope he acknowledges it.”
They could hope all they wanted, but no one would know if
Gunner had accepted what had been revealed. Not that day. Or that night. Or the
following day or night. And by the third day, Reese made the search
official. No one had seen or heard from Gunner since the session in Hope’s
office. There was no trace of where he might have gone. No trace of his car.
And his cell phone was going unanswered. He had simply disappeared...
…JT sighed and hung up the phone in the living room before
turning to look at Bree. “Still nothing.” He’d been talking to Reese, but there
was simply no news. Pete and Con had teamed up to hunt down any lead they
could, and neither had been successful thus far.
“Reese is worried the Agency is involved. Con is more
worried Gunner went and either hurt himself or went after some other bad guy
figment of his imagination.” JT sank down into his chair, wishing he had better
news for his niece. Neither one of them had worked the past two days, too
worried and too busy trying to help find Gunner. “Still no trace of his car. His apartment hasn't been touched, and as far as all data shows, he hasn’t used his
cell phone at all."
He glanced at his niece with just as much concern for her as for Gunner. "They'll find him...I know they will."
Hearing his phone, Hunter quit tinkering with his motorcycle
and wiped his hands on a rag before viewing Katie’s text message. It was an odd
sort of feeling that hit him. Not quite jealousy. Not quite concern. Not
quite…anything, really. Except it was almost like when a question is asked,
even though the answer is already known. At least, the emotion could be
considered similar on a different plane...or something like that.
He chewed on the inside of his lower lip while his thumbs
worked out a reply.
No sweat. Yeah morning is still on.
Later.
He thought about more. But he hit “send” before typing
anything else. Jason and Katie went a long way back and had a lot of history
together. Not to mention, they still worked together. It was only natural that
they should join up to chat every once in a while. And yet…
Hunter looked at his phone again and started another text
message. Only this time, it wasn’t to Katie.
Jason smirked at Katie before taking another sip of his
coffee. “Yeah, I’m Jason alright. It’s a wonder people have put up with me all
this time. Seems all I keep doing is messing things up. Good enough to keep my
head above water, but enough of a hothead to keep making that one wrong
choice.”
He shook his head and let his eyes rest on hers. “I should
have seen it that very first time you got me help when I needed it. When you
were the only one who knew I was in trouble and either came running yourself,
or made someone else do it. You’ve always been there, no matter how stupid I’ve
been, or the stunts I’ve pulled.”
He swallowed hard and dropped his gaze as his emotions
started to churn. He needed to stop now. But he also needed to be honest. “No
matter what I put you through, or how many times I pulled away…how many times I
hurt you and made you suffer because I felt chained to you through our
connection. You always took me back. Always forgave.”
It wasn’t a feeling of romance that moved his hand towards
hers on the table. It wasn’t a gesture born of flirtatiousness. It was only
tender gratefulness that was wrapped within his touch as his fingers curled
around hers to give them a gentle squeeze. It was an apology. And one that had
come too late.
“You were always stronger than me,” he whispered. “Maybe
it’s just taken me this long with this much loss to finally see it. I…still
hurt…thinking about how things ended with us. I can’t deny feeling it was
unfair. But…if I’d have been fair to you in the first place, it probably never
would have happened.”
He let go of her hand and cleared his throat before
returning to his coffee. “And I’ve now been unfair to Misty, too, by getting
into a relationship with her in the first place. I guess…all I can do now is
try to pick up the pieces and hope she forgives me. And…try not to let it
affect my work or else Reese really have my head.” He managed a wry grin. “Not
that that’s any different than normal.”
Clint really didn’t feel like talking, much less consoling
this girl. But the tender spot in his heart – no matter how much he tried to
ignore it – won out.
He stopped what he was doing to cross his arms and lean back
against the workbench, forgetting about his own problems for at least a little
while. “Ah…the truth comes out.”
He shook his head at Ashlee. “I grew up without a dad, too.
And when I did finally find him, I discovered I’d known him all along, and he
just never had the guts to tell me. And now…” He stopped himself short. “Well,
we won’t get into that. My point is, I can see where you’re coming from, and I
don’t blame you. If you weren’t a little scared of being let down again, I’d be
worried.”
He pursed his lips and just studied her for a couple
moments. “But know this…If you don’t give Eric a chance…If you decide to push
him away out of fear, you’ll do that the rest of your life, and trust me,
you’ll regret it. At some point, you’re going to have to have a little faith in
someone, or else you’ll wind up alone and miserable.”
Maybe it was a little harsh for a girl her age, but he was
only being honest. “Now, I know you trust your mom. And if she – after all
she’s been through – has the nerve to put her trust in Eric…then it’s probably
safe.” He shrugged. “And if you’d ask me, I’d tell you he’s one of the most
loyal guys you’ll ever meet, and as far as I can tell, he cares about you and
your mom a lot.”
He moved to resume putting some random tools away. “People
come and go from our lives all the time – there’s nothing we can do to control
it. But if you don’t learn to let yourself care about someone in the few
moments we have them, you won’t care at all. And I’d hate to see the kind of
person you’d end up being if you went that route.”
8/20/14
Alone
Hope didn't mind letting JT take the lead on this. Maybe if Gunner heard it from someone like family he would take it a little easier. She had no doubt he'd be upset, and thats why she was there but maybe just maybe with a little luck it might so smoother than she played it in her own head.
Watching Gunner as JT talked Hope could see the stress written on his face and the pain in his eyes. She new that this had to be a shock and maybe even a little hard to handle. Seeing Gunner get more and more upset, and his words match Hope felt bad. She really honestly did. Something like this was never easy no matter how she wished it was.
"Not proud of ourselves, but just trying to help you weather you want to believe it or not Gunner. We want the same thing for you, that you want. Closure so you can move on with yourself, with everything it has to offer."
Seeing the tears that ran down Gunner's cheek made Hope's heart break even more. She couldn't even imagine the pain he was in and hurt the filled his heart. Hearing his question she was quiet for a long moment. She wanted Gunner to stay, but she wanted him to stay on his own, not be forced.
Looking to JT she gives a small nod before looking back to Gunner and laying a hand on his arm. There was so much she wanted to do but so little she really could.
"You are never trapped here Gunner unless you want to be. You have always been free to come and go as you want. Just know before you go, we do care about you, and we are here if and when you need us."
Letting go of Gunner's arm she gives it a small pat before taking a few steps back and letting Gunner free to go. Giving a glance at JT she hoped he understood why she did what she did.
Giving a smile as Jason accepts her offer Katie nods and pulls out her phone shooting a fast message to Hunter.
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that Jason
needed someone to talk to, and I happened to
be around. So we are just going to grab
something to eat. See you in the morning still?
Slipping her phone back into her pocket Katie stands and heads for the door. She had mixed feelings about this, and she hoped Hunter understood. It was just lunch, between two friends right?
Getting to the bagel shop Katie orders some tea, and a light salad. She didn't want anything to heavy to eat, but she did want something. Listing to Jason Katie takes a sip of tea. A small laugh surfaced at the mention of everyone Jason had tried to make it work with only to see it slip away and at the same time, she felt bad too.
"Nah, I dont think there is wrong with you. Maybe not the best choices were made, but I dont think there is anything wrong with you. Takes two, to make and break a relationship."
Looking down again Katie is silent for a moment thinking about the turn there own relationship had taken. She new most of it was her fault. She'd been quick to jump, didn't try and talk things out, it had been one big ball of mess.
"I guess we need to make mistakes to learn. Some times sad ending come out of it, but I guess its just part of life really. I'm sure once Misty calms down too, and what not she'll understand. After all who could stand not talking to you? Your Jason!"
Feeling Alec's arm around her Misty just sinks into him. She might not have showed it but she just needed to feel safe, and cared for at the moment. Everything had gone wrong in so little amount of time. Carson, Jason...she wasn't sure what else she could take.
"Can you just hold me till I fall asleep? I just....dont want to be alone."
Hearing Eric had something for her Ashlee can't help but feel a little excitement. But at the same time she still had her mix emotions. She was really happy to see Eric, but still he was going to leave again and she'd miss him once more. It hurt, and if he left maybe he didn't care that much. It confused Ashlee and she didn't like it.
"Ok, see ya in a bit."
Tossing the pop can in the trash and moving to the work bench Ashlee picked at some of the loose wood. Picking up one of the wrenches she places into the tool box.
"If I hang out with him, I'll stop being mad at him, and if I stop being mad at him than I'll just miss him when he leaves again and why should I miss him if he doesn't care about us and leaves."
Taking in a deep breath and than lets it out again. She didn't mean to unload everything on Clint, he was just there and she was frustrated. She hated feeling like this, and she didnt even know who to talk to about it.
"Sorry, I kind of just blurted out."
Watching Gunner as JT talked Hope could see the stress written on his face and the pain in his eyes. She new that this had to be a shock and maybe even a little hard to handle. Seeing Gunner get more and more upset, and his words match Hope felt bad. She really honestly did. Something like this was never easy no matter how she wished it was.
"Not proud of ourselves, but just trying to help you weather you want to believe it or not Gunner. We want the same thing for you, that you want. Closure so you can move on with yourself, with everything it has to offer."
Seeing the tears that ran down Gunner's cheek made Hope's heart break even more. She couldn't even imagine the pain he was in and hurt the filled his heart. Hearing his question she was quiet for a long moment. She wanted Gunner to stay, but she wanted him to stay on his own, not be forced.
Looking to JT she gives a small nod before looking back to Gunner and laying a hand on his arm. There was so much she wanted to do but so little she really could.
"You are never trapped here Gunner unless you want to be. You have always been free to come and go as you want. Just know before you go, we do care about you, and we are here if and when you need us."
Letting go of Gunner's arm she gives it a small pat before taking a few steps back and letting Gunner free to go. Giving a glance at JT she hoped he understood why she did what she did.
Giving a smile as Jason accepts her offer Katie nods and pulls out her phone shooting a fast message to Hunter.
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that Jason
needed someone to talk to, and I happened to
be around. So we are just going to grab
something to eat. See you in the morning still?
Slipping her phone back into her pocket Katie stands and heads for the door. She had mixed feelings about this, and she hoped Hunter understood. It was just lunch, between two friends right?
Getting to the bagel shop Katie orders some tea, and a light salad. She didn't want anything to heavy to eat, but she did want something. Listing to Jason Katie takes a sip of tea. A small laugh surfaced at the mention of everyone Jason had tried to make it work with only to see it slip away and at the same time, she felt bad too.
"Nah, I dont think there is wrong with you. Maybe not the best choices were made, but I dont think there is anything wrong with you. Takes two, to make and break a relationship."
Looking down again Katie is silent for a moment thinking about the turn there own relationship had taken. She new most of it was her fault. She'd been quick to jump, didn't try and talk things out, it had been one big ball of mess.
"I guess we need to make mistakes to learn. Some times sad ending come out of it, but I guess its just part of life really. I'm sure once Misty calms down too, and what not she'll understand. After all who could stand not talking to you? Your Jason!"
Feeling Alec's arm around her Misty just sinks into him. She might not have showed it but she just needed to feel safe, and cared for at the moment. Everything had gone wrong in so little amount of time. Carson, Jason...she wasn't sure what else she could take.
"Can you just hold me till I fall asleep? I just....dont want to be alone."
Hearing Eric had something for her Ashlee can't help but feel a little excitement. But at the same time she still had her mix emotions. She was really happy to see Eric, but still he was going to leave again and she'd miss him once more. It hurt, and if he left maybe he didn't care that much. It confused Ashlee and she didn't like it.
"Ok, see ya in a bit."
Tossing the pop can in the trash and moving to the work bench Ashlee picked at some of the loose wood. Picking up one of the wrenches she places into the tool box.
"If I hang out with him, I'll stop being mad at him, and if I stop being mad at him than I'll just miss him when he leaves again and why should I miss him if he doesn't care about us and leaves."
Taking in a deep breath and than lets it out again. She didn't mean to unload everything on Clint, he was just there and she was frustrated. She hated feeling like this, and she didnt even know who to talk to about it.
"Sorry, I kind of just blurted out."
5/9/14
Cage
JT wasn’t really sure about sitting in on the next session with Gunner but…maybe Hope was right. Maybe Gunner would react differently if he were here and could help walk him through the evidence.
“Yeah…sure…okay. I have to work part of the night tonight but I have off tomorrow so that should be alright…”
…Gunner was in no hurry to get to Hope’s office to keep his appointment, but he knew if he missed it, he’d just have people jumping down his throat for it. Yesterday had been a complete bust. He’d slept for most of it, and had gotten nowhere. He wasn’t even a hundred percent sure what he’d done in the evening, but he had a vague memory of watching a movie with Bree.
Avoiding anyone else at TJY, he finally got himself to Hope’s office ten minutes late. Upon entering though, he stopped short. What on earth was JT doing here?
“Hey, Gunner.” JT sat in an extra chair, and offered a smile.
“Um…hey.” Gunner set his sunglasses up on top of his head and gave Hope a wary look. “What’s…going on?”
JT took the lead, having already gone over things with Hope. “Just had a bit of information Hope thought I should share with you so I thought I’d sit in on things today.”
“Oh…kay…” Gunner eased down in his normal chair, but sat on the edge, not sure if he liked this or not. No…no, he was pretty sure he didn’t like it at all. But he’d stay, if only to make them happy. “So shoot. What’s so important you gotta watch my brain picked apart?”
JT smirked, but shook his head instead of retorting. “Well, I knew you’d been investigating the past so…I did a bit of nosing around on my own…” He proceeded to explain everything he’d already shared with Hope. About the people, circumstances, and what he’d learned about Gunner’s family. It made sense. The pieces fit. But as he finished, there was only awkward silence that filled the office.
Gunner was visibly rigid, his jaw hard at work grinding his teeth. He had said nothing throughout JT’s explanation, and even now was eerily quiet. He finally looked at Hope, giving her eyes a good long search before glancing back to JT. A forced smile creased his lips, though his knee had already started to bounce, proving his nerves were close to giving out. “So… let me guess… This is the part where one of you tries to tell me that all this time, I’ve been coming up with grand theories about how my parents died, because really, deep down I have a terrible guilt for driving my father away and maybe even a guilt for causing the accident itself. That all I’ve done is built a huge imaginative story just to cover up my own blame.”
JT blinked and glanced at Hope, unsure how to proceed. Gunner was partly right. And to any eye – even the untrained – it was very obvious that a cord had been struck. Something had hit Gunner, and had hit him hard. “Well… it’s –”
“And you two apparently are quite proud of yourselves for coming up with this little theory.” Gunner stood, not caring what else JT had to say. His smile was gone as he looked to Hope again. “I don’t know what it is that you think you’re trying to solve, or how you think you’re delving into my psyche by this whole charade, but let me tell you –”
“Take it easy,” JT interrupted, now standing as well. “We’re just trying to help.”
“Help? With this load of crap?” Gunner’s eyes blazed. “Don’t you think I went down that path myself? Don’t you think I checked out all those same people? Don’t you think I covered all those leads?”
“Did you?”
Silence.
JT cocked his head. “Well? Did you really?”
As suddenly as Gunner’s anger had erupted, it vanished almost-dangerously fast. Tears sprang into his eyes and he turned for the door, only to have it quickly blocked by JT. “Let me go,” he hissed.
“Stay,” JT pleaded. “Talk it out. Please. You need this.”
Gunner felt sick. His head hurt, his stomach churned, and he felt suffocated. His hands clenched into fists as he turned back around and stared at Hope. “Alright, Doc.” His voice was hoarse as he fought against emotions. “Your call.” A silent tear ran down his cheek. “You gonna let me out of this cage or keep me here 'til I can’t breathe anymore?”
A long pause followed Katie's invitation. Jason straightened up and just looked at her, not knowing if he was more surprised that she'd invited him, or more surprised that it felt way too easy to say yes. But...should he? What about Hunter? Wouldn't he be upset with Katie going somewhere with her ex, no matter how innocent? Yet...it was Katie's risk, not Jason's. Really, it was none of Jason's business. Katie was just trying to be a friend, so if Hunter had a problem, it was between the two of them...right?
Jason chewed on the inside of his lower lip. There was a warning within him...something that told him not to walk this line. Something that told him he shouldn't say yes. And yet there was also the part that had brought him here tonight in the first place...the part that didn't want to be alone right now and just wanted a friend.
"Okay." He quirked a little smile. "Not sure I want food, but coffee sounds good..."
...It didn't take long before he was sitting across from Katie in the little bagel shop a few blocks from TJY. It was one of the few quieter places open later in the evening, and they had good food and coffee, too.
Jason wrapped his hands around his coffee cup, enjoying the warmth on his palms. It was strange...sitting here with Katie. Just the two of them. It wasn't like when they were on the job or together on a stakeout. Though he'd been quiet, a sorry sort of laugh was what broke the silence. "Ya know..." He shook his head and looked up at Katie, his eyes meeting hers. "I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me."
He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. "Jade...you...Camryn...you again... and again...Misty..." A sigh surfaced. "There's only one common factor: me." His eye dropped. "Guess I didn't realize how many times I'd messed things up 'til now. I still think I made the right choice with Misty, but I prolly never should've gotten involved in the first place. Just not smart enough to stay out of the fire, I guess."
Alec was shocked by Misty's words, and for a moment he wasn't even sure how to respond. Jason had called things off? Because of Carson? It sort of made sense, and sort of didn't. Either way, Alec had been under the impression that things had been going well. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened, and now there seemed to be a lot of questions. Regardless, it was Jason's business to do whatever he wanted. But that didn't mean Alec felt any less badly for Misty.
His heart hurt as he looked at how sad she was. Even if she wasn't ultra emotional right now, it would still have been a blow. He didn't like seeing Misty upset and crying. It just...didn't feel good and he had no idea what to do.
Moving a little closer on the couch, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle hug. "I'm so sorry." He wished he could make her feel better. He wished he could just solve this entire mess. But he knew he couldn't. All he could do was give her an extra squeeze and a kiss on the top of her head. "Is there anything I can do?"
Ashlee's response was not at all what Eric had expected. He hadn't thought she'd be elated, but her lack of any enthusiasm at seeing him made his heart sink just a little bit. Maybe his impression that he'd be missed had just been his own need to feel wanted and wasn't really the actual truth. At least Stacy had seemed pleased to see him.
He blinked, his smile fading as he shrugged. "Oh. Well, okay."
Clint fingered his pop can as he looked between the girl and Eric. Something seemed off, all of a sudden. Did Ashlee's strange behavior have something to do with Eric's return? That in itself was odd, since he'd assumed she adored Eric. "I won't be too much longer here," he commented. "I think it's time to give this beast a rest for the night, so all I have left is cleaning up a few loose tools."
"Alright." Eric's finger tapped the door absentmindedly as he tried to catch Ashlee's eye, but she was looking down now. "Well, I'll be in, eating. See me sometime though, Ash, 'cause I brought back something for ya." He smiled again and nodded to Clint. "See ya later."
Only after he was gone did Clint set down his pop can before starting in on organizing some of the tools on the workbench. "This isn't gonna take me long," he mentioned over his shoulder. Ashlee's choice wasn't any of his business, but he didn't want to contribute to any tension either. "You can go hang with Eric if you want. I don't mind."
“Yeah…sure…okay. I have to work part of the night tonight but I have off tomorrow so that should be alright…”
…Gunner was in no hurry to get to Hope’s office to keep his appointment, but he knew if he missed it, he’d just have people jumping down his throat for it. Yesterday had been a complete bust. He’d slept for most of it, and had gotten nowhere. He wasn’t even a hundred percent sure what he’d done in the evening, but he had a vague memory of watching a movie with Bree.
Avoiding anyone else at TJY, he finally got himself to Hope’s office ten minutes late. Upon entering though, he stopped short. What on earth was JT doing here?
“Hey, Gunner.” JT sat in an extra chair, and offered a smile.
“Um…hey.” Gunner set his sunglasses up on top of his head and gave Hope a wary look. “What’s…going on?”
JT took the lead, having already gone over things with Hope. “Just had a bit of information Hope thought I should share with you so I thought I’d sit in on things today.”
“Oh…kay…” Gunner eased down in his normal chair, but sat on the edge, not sure if he liked this or not. No…no, he was pretty sure he didn’t like it at all. But he’d stay, if only to make them happy. “So shoot. What’s so important you gotta watch my brain picked apart?”
JT smirked, but shook his head instead of retorting. “Well, I knew you’d been investigating the past so…I did a bit of nosing around on my own…” He proceeded to explain everything he’d already shared with Hope. About the people, circumstances, and what he’d learned about Gunner’s family. It made sense. The pieces fit. But as he finished, there was only awkward silence that filled the office.
Gunner was visibly rigid, his jaw hard at work grinding his teeth. He had said nothing throughout JT’s explanation, and even now was eerily quiet. He finally looked at Hope, giving her eyes a good long search before glancing back to JT. A forced smile creased his lips, though his knee had already started to bounce, proving his nerves were close to giving out. “So… let me guess… This is the part where one of you tries to tell me that all this time, I’ve been coming up with grand theories about how my parents died, because really, deep down I have a terrible guilt for driving my father away and maybe even a guilt for causing the accident itself. That all I’ve done is built a huge imaginative story just to cover up my own blame.”
JT blinked and glanced at Hope, unsure how to proceed. Gunner was partly right. And to any eye – even the untrained – it was very obvious that a cord had been struck. Something had hit Gunner, and had hit him hard. “Well… it’s –”
“And you two apparently are quite proud of yourselves for coming up with this little theory.” Gunner stood, not caring what else JT had to say. His smile was gone as he looked to Hope again. “I don’t know what it is that you think you’re trying to solve, or how you think you’re delving into my psyche by this whole charade, but let me tell you –”
“Take it easy,” JT interrupted, now standing as well. “We’re just trying to help.”
“Help? With this load of crap?” Gunner’s eyes blazed. “Don’t you think I went down that path myself? Don’t you think I checked out all those same people? Don’t you think I covered all those leads?”
“Did you?”
Silence.
JT cocked his head. “Well? Did you really?”
As suddenly as Gunner’s anger had erupted, it vanished almost-dangerously fast. Tears sprang into his eyes and he turned for the door, only to have it quickly blocked by JT. “Let me go,” he hissed.
“Stay,” JT pleaded. “Talk it out. Please. You need this.”
Gunner felt sick. His head hurt, his stomach churned, and he felt suffocated. His hands clenched into fists as he turned back around and stared at Hope. “Alright, Doc.” His voice was hoarse as he fought against emotions. “Your call.” A silent tear ran down his cheek. “You gonna let me out of this cage or keep me here 'til I can’t breathe anymore?”
A long pause followed Katie's invitation. Jason straightened up and just looked at her, not knowing if he was more surprised that she'd invited him, or more surprised that it felt way too easy to say yes. But...should he? What about Hunter? Wouldn't he be upset with Katie going somewhere with her ex, no matter how innocent? Yet...it was Katie's risk, not Jason's. Really, it was none of Jason's business. Katie was just trying to be a friend, so if Hunter had a problem, it was between the two of them...right?
Jason chewed on the inside of his lower lip. There was a warning within him...something that told him not to walk this line. Something that told him he shouldn't say yes. And yet there was also the part that had brought him here tonight in the first place...the part that didn't want to be alone right now and just wanted a friend.
"Okay." He quirked a little smile. "Not sure I want food, but coffee sounds good..."
...It didn't take long before he was sitting across from Katie in the little bagel shop a few blocks from TJY. It was one of the few quieter places open later in the evening, and they had good food and coffee, too.
Jason wrapped his hands around his coffee cup, enjoying the warmth on his palms. It was strange...sitting here with Katie. Just the two of them. It wasn't like when they were on the job or together on a stakeout. Though he'd been quiet, a sorry sort of laugh was what broke the silence. "Ya know..." He shook his head and looked up at Katie, his eyes meeting hers. "I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me."
He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. "Jade...you...Camryn...you again... and again...Misty..." A sigh surfaced. "There's only one common factor: me." His eye dropped. "Guess I didn't realize how many times I'd messed things up 'til now. I still think I made the right choice with Misty, but I prolly never should've gotten involved in the first place. Just not smart enough to stay out of the fire, I guess."
Alec was shocked by Misty's words, and for a moment he wasn't even sure how to respond. Jason had called things off? Because of Carson? It sort of made sense, and sort of didn't. Either way, Alec had been under the impression that things had been going well. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened, and now there seemed to be a lot of questions. Regardless, it was Jason's business to do whatever he wanted. But that didn't mean Alec felt any less badly for Misty.
His heart hurt as he looked at how sad she was. Even if she wasn't ultra emotional right now, it would still have been a blow. He didn't like seeing Misty upset and crying. It just...didn't feel good and he had no idea what to do.
Moving a little closer on the couch, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle hug. "I'm so sorry." He wished he could make her feel better. He wished he could just solve this entire mess. But he knew he couldn't. All he could do was give her an extra squeeze and a kiss on the top of her head. "Is there anything I can do?"
Ashlee's response was not at all what Eric had expected. He hadn't thought she'd be elated, but her lack of any enthusiasm at seeing him made his heart sink just a little bit. Maybe his impression that he'd be missed had just been his own need to feel wanted and wasn't really the actual truth. At least Stacy had seemed pleased to see him.
He blinked, his smile fading as he shrugged. "Oh. Well, okay."
Clint fingered his pop can as he looked between the girl and Eric. Something seemed off, all of a sudden. Did Ashlee's strange behavior have something to do with Eric's return? That in itself was odd, since he'd assumed she adored Eric. "I won't be too much longer here," he commented. "I think it's time to give this beast a rest for the night, so all I have left is cleaning up a few loose tools."
"Alright." Eric's finger tapped the door absentmindedly as he tried to catch Ashlee's eye, but she was looking down now. "Well, I'll be in, eating. See me sometime though, Ash, 'cause I brought back something for ya." He smiled again and nodded to Clint. "See ya later."
Only after he was gone did Clint set down his pop can before starting in on organizing some of the tools on the workbench. "This isn't gonna take me long," he mentioned over his shoulder. Ashlee's choice wasn't any of his business, but he didn't want to contribute to any tension either. "You can go hang with Eric if you want. I don't mind."
5/6/14
Some coffee...
Seeing a grin from Jason even if it was small made Katie smile too. Continuing to listen to Jason Katie was slightly surprised by the news of Jason and Misty. When she'd seen them together even if it was only from a distance she always thought they looked happy and nothing could split them. But hearing this it only made her slightly more confused.
"I do have to say I am a bit surprised. I mean in a way I understand where you are coming from, and I don't think what you did was wrong. We all have our own convictions, and if you think this was right than who is to tell you differently?"
Putting her pencil down and just looking at Jason for a long second Katie turned in her chair. She could see how hurt he was. While yes this was an awkward situation she couldn't fault Jason for that. He needed a friend to talk to, and she did know him pretty well. Even if it was hard, and it did hurt she wanted to be there for Jason.
"You're not bothering me. I needed a break from going over these older cases and making sure everything was filled out on the forms right anyways. I was thinking about going to grab some coffee and a bite to eat. Want to come along?"
Hearing Alec's motorcycle pull up Misty didn't even hardly move. She new he'd be home soon, and she new He's be worried if her saw her like this but honestly, she lacked the energy to care, or even try to clean herself up. Everything was still fresh and new, maybe she was in a little shock, or a state if denial, but deep down she new it was true.
Knowing he was now in the same room as her Misty let out a long sigh before sucking in her breath again. Slowly looking up at Alec she blinks a little trying her best not to cry again. She felt alone. Even though Jason said he still wanted to be friends, it just wasn't the same.
"Jason broke up with me. He said he didn't feel right being with me as long as I was married to Carson still."
Just saying those words stung Misty's heart even more. Tears started to fill her eyes again as she looked down at her hands that were pulling apart a tissue. She'd didn't like being seen like this but she couldn't help it. She felt to many things at once to help it.
Hearing everything JT had to say Hope leaned back in her chair. A lot of what he said made sense. It was surprising but it made sense with some of the behavior he was showing. It still was a difficult situation to deal with, and she wondered if there was a right way to handle it.
"Well, I do think these are some good things to know definitely. It's just how to go about it all that has me stumped now. I really think Gunner should know...its the how to tell him."
Standing and pacing for a few moments Hope thinks deeply. Before stopping and looking at JT. If Gunner was like family, maybe it was best if family told him.
"Gunner is coming here tomorrow, maybe we can tell him together. I think maybe if you told him it might be a little easier. What do you think?"
To: Rosalyn
From: Chad
:-D I look forward to it more than anyone will
ever know. Have a good dinner my sweet.
Till we can talk again *hug and kiss*
Putting his phone down after sending the text he gives a little smile. Maybe there was hope after all. Even if no one else believed it he did.
Getting up from his seat he grabs his jacket and heads out the door. Maybe if he hurried he could still catch breakfast with the others.
Taking a sip from her own can Ashlee gives a little laugh as a slight bit spills from the can onto the ground. Giving a sheepish look she pulls a tissue from her pocket and bends down to wipe it up. Catching the door open Ashlee look up seeing Eric. Standing again she stuffs the tissue into her pocket before shifting a little. She'd missed him, but she had been trying to avoid him. He was just going to leave again and the though hurt just thinking about it, without getting attached first.
"I'm...not to hungry at the moment."
Ashlee's stomach growled in protest. She'd hoped no one heard it though.
"You can go ahead. I might be in later. I'm going to help Clint..if he needs it for a little bit. Thanks though."
Trying to give her best smile Ashlee took another sip of her pop before looking down. Even if she tried to hide it she new he look gave her away, and maybe even one could tell she was disappointed in herself for saying no.
"I do have to say I am a bit surprised. I mean in a way I understand where you are coming from, and I don't think what you did was wrong. We all have our own convictions, and if you think this was right than who is to tell you differently?"
Putting her pencil down and just looking at Jason for a long second Katie turned in her chair. She could see how hurt he was. While yes this was an awkward situation she couldn't fault Jason for that. He needed a friend to talk to, and she did know him pretty well. Even if it was hard, and it did hurt she wanted to be there for Jason.
"You're not bothering me. I needed a break from going over these older cases and making sure everything was filled out on the forms right anyways. I was thinking about going to grab some coffee and a bite to eat. Want to come along?"
Hearing Alec's motorcycle pull up Misty didn't even hardly move. She new he'd be home soon, and she new He's be worried if her saw her like this but honestly, she lacked the energy to care, or even try to clean herself up. Everything was still fresh and new, maybe she was in a little shock, or a state if denial, but deep down she new it was true.
Knowing he was now in the same room as her Misty let out a long sigh before sucking in her breath again. Slowly looking up at Alec she blinks a little trying her best not to cry again. She felt alone. Even though Jason said he still wanted to be friends, it just wasn't the same.
"Jason broke up with me. He said he didn't feel right being with me as long as I was married to Carson still."
Just saying those words stung Misty's heart even more. Tears started to fill her eyes again as she looked down at her hands that were pulling apart a tissue. She'd didn't like being seen like this but she couldn't help it. She felt to many things at once to help it.
Hearing everything JT had to say Hope leaned back in her chair. A lot of what he said made sense. It was surprising but it made sense with some of the behavior he was showing. It still was a difficult situation to deal with, and she wondered if there was a right way to handle it.
"Well, I do think these are some good things to know definitely. It's just how to go about it all that has me stumped now. I really think Gunner should know...its the how to tell him."
Standing and pacing for a few moments Hope thinks deeply. Before stopping and looking at JT. If Gunner was like family, maybe it was best if family told him.
"Gunner is coming here tomorrow, maybe we can tell him together. I think maybe if you told him it might be a little easier. What do you think?"
To: Rosalyn
From: Chad
:-D I look forward to it more than anyone will
ever know. Have a good dinner my sweet.
Till we can talk again *hug and kiss*
Putting his phone down after sending the text he gives a little smile. Maybe there was hope after all. Even if no one else believed it he did.
Getting up from his seat he grabs his jacket and heads out the door. Maybe if he hurried he could still catch breakfast with the others.
Taking a sip from her own can Ashlee gives a little laugh as a slight bit spills from the can onto the ground. Giving a sheepish look she pulls a tissue from her pocket and bends down to wipe it up. Catching the door open Ashlee look up seeing Eric. Standing again she stuffs the tissue into her pocket before shifting a little. She'd missed him, but she had been trying to avoid him. He was just going to leave again and the though hurt just thinking about it, without getting attached first.
"I'm...not to hungry at the moment."
Ashlee's stomach growled in protest. She'd hoped no one heard it though.
"You can go ahead. I might be in later. I'm going to help Clint..if he needs it for a little bit. Thanks though."
Trying to give her best smile Ashlee took another sip of her pop before looking down. Even if she tried to hide it she new he look gave her away, and maybe even one could tell she was disappointed in herself for saying no.
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