A knock at the door startles Jeff from his nap. He'd slept late then
had found himself back in bed for the afternoon. He'd been told it would
be natural to be tired for a while, but it was still a bit
discouraging.
"Just a minute," he mumbles. Dragging
himself from bed, he rubs his eyes and yawns before finally getting to
his feet. Opening the door, he can't help his surprise at seeing Cindy,
and isn't even sure what to say.
Seeing Jeff in his
socks and his hair a bit disheveled, Cindy can immediately see that he'd
been sleeping. "Oh, I'm sorry... I woke you, didn't I?"
"Um...
yeah, but that's okay." Jeff cocks his head. The last time they'd
parted, it had been awkward to say the least. He'd figured Cindy
wouldn't want anything to do with him after that. "Can I... help you?"
"Yes.
I mean, well, no." Cindy holds up a small plate of cookies. "I made a
batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and ended up with too many. I
know they're one of your favorites so... I thought you might like
these."
Jeff raises an eyebrow, but he accepts the plate, his mouth already watering. "You thought right. Thanks."
"You're
welcome." Cindy clasps her hands, shifting her weight a bit awkwardly.
"Um, I guess I just wanted to say sorry, too. You know... for before...
and what I said."
Jeff gives her a half a smile. "Naw... you were right."
"Maybe. But I didn't need to say it like I did. I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
She
had. But Jeff had concluded it had been deserved. "It's okay. I didn't
mean to offend you. I suppose a guy like me is just bound to make those
blunders sometimes."
Cindy's mouth forms a warm smile
and she reaches out to put a hand on his arm. "You're very special,
Jeff, and you have one of the biggest hearts I know. Don't ever think
you have nothing to offer a woman... and not just a woman who's in
need." She gives his arm a little squeeze. "Don't limit yourself because
you think you're weak. It's your body that's weak, not your spirit. And
if a woman judges you because of a physical weakness, then she's not
the one for you anyway."
A lump rises in Jeff's throat. "Thanks, Cindy," he responds quietly. "We're okay then?"
Cindy
chuckles. "Of course we are. You're my friend and I don't want that to
change." Letting him go, she backs up, ready to leave. "I'll see you at
supper."
"Okay." Watching her leave, Jeff holds the
plate of cookies and tries to figure out the strange emotions churning
within him. She was right - he'd thought a woman in need would be the
only kind that would find him useful. But... maybe she was right about
the other stuff too. She might not be interested in anything more than
friendship with him... but maybe he did still have a chance with someone
else... someone out there... someone he hadn't found yet.
Turning back inside, Jeff returns to his bed... but only after he'd eaten a cookie.
Keeping his arms slung over Katie's shoulders, Hunter grins. "Apples have my vote too. Sounds like fun."
Though
his eyes were tired, he holds his smile, just meeting Katie's gaze for
several long moments. Was it just him, or was she getting prettier every
day? "Of course... just about anything with you would sound fun," he
admits.
Leaning in a little closer, he wonders if
perhaps she might allow him one more time a sweet kiss like they'd
shared the day before. He'd promised himself he wouldn't push things too
fast, and he'd wait for Katie's next move but... having her this close,
just inches away with those bright eyes and that warm smile...
"Hey, you two going riding?"
Hunter
backs up a step, letting his arms slide from Katie as he clears his
throat. Looking over at Jim, he nods. "Yeah. That okay?"
"Oh sure." Jim nods. "I just wanted to tell you that I think that
saddle Mick had you use yesterday got moved and it's sitting on the
bench." He chuckles. "I didn't want you to spend all your time hunting
for it."
Hunter chuckles. "Got it. Thanks." Alone with Katie again, he
gives her a look that mixed slyness and sheepishness. "I'll, um... go
get Bonzai."
...It was a fun ride, and though Hunter's legs did hurt,
especially with Bonzai's rough gait, it really wasn't all that long
before the pain subsided enough for him to settle in and enjoy the ride.
They took it slow - of which he was thankful. He might have been put
through his paces yesterday and could remember a lot about riding, but
there was a lot he had yet to recall and even more to learn. He was
quite content just taking a nice slow pace. And... it gave him better
opportunity to talk with Katie too, chatting and laughing. They
dismounted in the grove of apple trees to enjoy the fresh treat, walking
together as they led the horses. There was a warm breeze, carrying the
sweet scent of apples and... Hunter really couldn't imagine a much more
peaceful place to be. Getting back to the ranch several hours earlier,
it was perhaps later than planned, but Hunter wouldn't have traded it
for the world...
...Time at the ranch stopped for no one, even if some wished it would. Every day the sun rose then set again, greeting each morning with warmth and bidding its farewell as the moon took over again...
"...Well yeah, he's been a great help." Eric sets one foot on a chair in
the break room, taking a sip from his water bottle. He looks to Mick
inquisitively. "Why?"
Mick shrugs, seated at the table
with his own water. Several days had passed, and after a morning of fencing, both were due a short
rest. "Just asking, I guess."
"Hasn't he helped you?"
"Oh
yeah, tons." That was the truth. Hunter had helped out more these past handful of days than most of the hired help. He'd worked with Katie almost every
day, he'd assisted almost all the guys in some way or another, and he'd
certainly lent a hand to Mick whenever needed. Just yesterday they'd
been out baling hay for several hours and had gotten the job done,
thanks to Hunter's stamina - the young man hadn't even complained about his sunburn.
Eric quirks an eyebrow. "Then why the hesitance?"
Mick
shrugs. "I dunno. I mean I think it's great he's so willing to help
out, but I've hardly seen him relax at all. He's just constantly
working."
"Now that I've noticed," Eric agrees.
"At first I thought he was just still trying to prove he wasn't a city
slicker, but the last few days, it's like he's just... driven. Yesterday
I thought he looked exhausted but he just shrugged it off and pitched
in to help some more. 'Course I didn't argue."
"Mmhmm..."
"You think something's wrong?"
"Naw." Mick takes a swig of his water. "Just remembering, that's all."
Eric smiles a little and gives an understanding nod. "Keeping busy is the best way to forget."
"Or try to."
"At least he's sticking around. If something's bothering him, he could just as easily take off and forget about it."
"Yeah. " Mick nods in thought. "I think there's several things keeping him here."
"Like what?"
"Well I do think he enjoys being around the horses."
Eric chuckles. "I still can't believe he's still riding Bonzai. He said yesterday it doesn't bother him anymore."
Mick
sips his water, laughing as well. "Maybe Bonzai finally found the right
rider for him. Hunter does seem to have a knack. He's not the greatest
rider in the world, but he seems to have picked up quickly on things. I
wouldn't want to put him on a green horse but I'd trust him to exercise
most of the reliables."
"Oh yeah, definitely. Give him a
few more weeks and I bet he'd handle the green ones too." Eric cocks
his head. "So it's just the horses he's interested in?"
"Naw,
I think there's more. I think he likes the hard work - whether he's
using it to run away from something or not. He made the comment to me
the other day that he missed doing physical work." Mick shrugs. "And...
there's a certain young lady that I think's got a hold on him too."
Eric quirks an eyebrow. "Yeah, I've kinda got that impression myself."
Mick
grins. "I suppose that's a good a reason as any to stick around.
Doesn't sound like he's got that much back in Nevada, calling him back
too quickly."
"Think he's okay? I mean, for Katie?"
"I
think he's got a few issues, and I get the impression he's not right
with God. But if he can sort through all that... I think he has a lot of
potential to be a fine man." Mick shrugs. "I do like him and everybody
else seems to have taken to him too."
"Including me," Eric admits. "He's a lot of fun."
"Mm-hmm."
Mick finishes off his bottle of water and tosses it into the corner box
of recyclables. "Well... shall we get back to work?"
"You bet." Eric straightens and finishes his water as well. "I'll meet you out on the fence."
"Where are you going?"
Eric gives him a sheepish grin. "A guy's gotta say to his girl once in a while or she might think he forgot about her."
Mick grins and rolls his eyes. "Last time I saw her, she was helping Ashlee with her homework on their porch."
Eric's cheeks flush and he pulls his hat down a little further before leaving the break room. "Okay, thanks."
"You're
welcome..." Mick stands alone for a moment, smiling to himself. Eric
rarely talked about Stacy, but it was common knowledge now that those
two were a couple. And Mick was glad. His brother-in-law had really
seemed to brighten up lately and he wasn't about to interfere with that.
Sighing, he heads out of the barn, aiming for the fence that was only half-done...
...People were busy. Fellowship was sweet. Work was hard. Accomplishments made the work worthwhile. The ranch did indeed seem to be a haven from the world...
Jay eventually said goodbye to go home - but only with a promise to return soon. Jeff continued to recover, though it was slower than he preferred. He did avoid going to the barn too much though, giving in to taking it easy once more and resting often. The others all continued each day as usual - some days busier than others. And Hunter - he remained as well, his time at the ranch passing by a week and continuing on...
...Water surges around Hunter, the pressure crushing down on him. It
was dark. Black. Cold. Being jerked along by the river's current sent a
terror racing through Hunter's veins. His lungs begged him for air. He
tried to find the surface, but there was no light to guide him.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he'd been here before. He
knew all he needed to do was wake up. But it didn't remove the fear.
Kicking
and clawing at the rushing water did nothing but exhaust his muscles to
the point of pain. There was nothing he could do. There was no up or
down. There was no end to this evil river. Fighting until he could fight
no more, his lungs finally have their way, opening up to inhale not
air, but water.
Crying out, Hunter's eyes fly open to
stare into the dark bunkhouse. Shaking all over, he was drenched in
sweat, his heart racing...
Again.
Moaning
in frustration, Hunter puts his head in his hands, rocking slightly.
Why? Why was this happening? He didn't understand. For a week solid, he
had been plagued with the same nightmare. Each time it was the same.
Each time it was a dark river and he woke up just short of drowning.
Rising
from bed, Hunter goes to the bathroom. Taking off his sweaty clothes,
he steps into the shower to let cool water run over him. What was
happening to him? Why was he having nightmares? There was nothing
bothering him. Nothing was going wrong. On the contrary, he'd never had
such a good time. Being at the ranch was like sunshine for the soul.
He'd gone riding with Katie almost every day, he'd helped with chores,
he'd gotten to know the guys better... the only thing he hadn't done was
go to church with everybody else a couple days ago - it had felt
strange to be almost alone at the quiet ranch for those few hours, and
he'd felt just a twinge of guilt for not joining Katie with the others,
but he just hadn't felt ready to touch that one yet, and thankfully no
one gave him a bad time.
As far as he and Katie went,
things couldn't be better. There hadn't been any kiss since that first
time - not that he hadn't tried. It just seemed every time, they were
interrupted, so he'd stuck to holding hands, sitting together at meals
and he'd quickly obtained the habit of a goodnight hug before parting
every night - and maybe just a kiss on the cheek. She seemed content, so
he felt confident he was going at the right pace... if there was ever
to be more between them, which... maybe deep down he did hope for.
So
why the nightmares? Why was he being plagued with such horrible images
and feelings? Despite the days being so good, the nightmares had
permeated his mind to the point that the only way to rid himself of
those awful pictures was to keep himself busy. He'd attempted a nap a
couple days ago, only to fall too close to yet another nightmare. Rest
was coming harder and harder as he tried to fight his way out of
whatever this was. At least in keeping busy he'd gotten over his saddle
soreness and had been able to pitch in with the work, helping the guys.
Bracing
himself on the shower wall, Hunter closes his eyes, hanging his head to
feel the cold water hit his neck and back. All of a sudden, his
father's face enters his mind. No! Hunter's eyes fly open and he
straightens, splashing some more water on his face. That was another
thing that had been bothering him. No matter how busy he kept himself
during the day, he was not only plagued with images from his nightmare,
but all of a sudden, the past had been creeping up on him. What had set
that off, he had no idea. He had caught himself thinking about anything
from his childhood to his father, to Kyle, to anything in between. It
was ridiculous, and in all honesty, he felt like he was going crazy. He
had to beat it. Whatever this was, it would go away, he was sure.
Finally
shutting off the water, he dries himself off and wanders back into the
other room to pull on some clean clothes. He wasn't dressing for bed
again though - he donned his jeans and pulled on his cowboy boots - the
ones he'd bought a few days ago in town. They already looked worn with
all the work and riding he'd been doing, and he liked that.
Only
now does he glance at the clock. Four-thirty. Like always. His
nightmares worked like clockwork, and he'd been up at this hour for a
whole week, losing more sleep than he'd care to think about. But it
didn't matter. He wouldn't be able to get back to bed - or if he did,
he'd just be scared out of his wits again. Even so, it was too early for
chores and even too early for him to go get a cup of coffee. As it had
been every day.
Wandering outside in his bare feet, he
eases down to sit sideways on the porch step and leans back against the
railing. His tired gaze wanders to the gray sky, and he didn't realize
the dark circles that had formed all this week were still evident below
his eyes. He'd just... sit here until he saw someone else stir.
Seeing Grace blush, it takes Jared off guard. It felt strange to suddenly have the upper hand - she usually had a quick comeback for him, not a genuine response like that. Cocking his head, Jared just studies her for a moment, a softer smile forming on his lips. She was more than a therapist... she was a woman.
"Well I don't know why you only have a few friends." Lowering his head a little, he tries to see Grace's eyes, waiting until she looked up at him again. "I know I give you a hard time some days but... you're very good at what you do."
He gestures at the table full of all the empty bowls. "I may not remember much and I may not know much about your profession, but... I've got a feeling that if I woulda ended up with a different physical therapist, I wouldn't be sitting here now, and...I know I wouldn't be smiling near as much."
Finishing the last bit of his ice cream, he licks the spoon a final time. "To tell you the truth... I've been tempted not to try so hard some days, 'cause I know once I'm on my feet, I'll be friendless again and I guess that's kind of a depressing thought."
Hearing the shriek, Justin gives a start. Glancing into the living room though, he sees that Beth is just fine and Danitza was still there. Since she seemed okay, Justin leaves her be, returning to his bagel and letting Beth decide when she wanted to get up.
Joined in the kitchen just a few moments later, he smiles. "Well it must be the coffee you smell, unless you have a nose for a plain toasted bagel. I've got more if you want one or I've got eggs... there might be some bacon. Whatever you'd like. Oh, and there's some fruit juice, like always."
Stepping towards her, he reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked like she'd had a rough night, and he wished there was more he could do. "You doin' okay?"