"Katie!" Jeff's pulse raced as he saw his daughter head down the
embankment. He trusted her skills, but he didn't trust the riverbank.
And right now, he was already near panic about Hunter.
Urging
Hawk back down the path and keeping an eye on Katie, he watches as she
plunges into the water to pull Hunter out... Hunter... who was not
moving. Horror shoots through Jeff's veins. How had this happened? This
trail wasn't this dangerous... the river not that deep... had Hunter
injured himself? Been knocked unconscious during his fall? It didn't
really matter though - all that mattered was that Katie was trying to
save his life.
Realizing Katie had dragged Hunter up
onto a plateau-like place on the bank where the trail was closer to the
river, Jeff steers Hawk that way around to avoid going down anything too
steep. There he meets up with Katie's horse as well, as he quickly
dismounts.
Rushing to Katie's side, he slides down beside her as she works at reviving Hunter. Gently holding the young man's head, he helps steady him. "Come on, Hunter," he urges quietly. "Breathe..."
As life-giving air is offered, Hunter's lungs finally reject the
water they had received. His body tenses and automatically coughs,
spitting up water. Waking up with a jolt, he instinctively rolls over,
coughing and choking as his lungs try to get rid of all the water and
intake the air they desperately needed.
Relief sweeps
through Jeff as he gives Hunter's back several hearty pats to help him
cough up the water. "Easy does it, easy..."
Hunter is too weak to hold himself up and he collapses
on his side, still coughing. Every muscle trembled as he shivered
uncontrollably, and he tries to bring his mind out of the darkness.
Feeling something forcing his eyes open, he resists, not able to focus
on anything.
After checking Hunter's pulse and eyes, Jeff stands. "He's in
shock. I'm going to go get the blanket." It had been intended to sit on
for lunch - now its purpose had changed. Only when Jeff is untying the
blanket from behind his saddle does he realize that his hands are
shaking.
Still not sure what was happening, and still trembling,
Hunter finally manages to slowly open his eyes. He blinks away some
water that ran down his face from his soaked hair, and through blurred
vision, the first thing he sees is Katie's face.
"K...Katie?" Was he dead? Was he alive? What had happened? The
last thing he remembered was being caught underwater. That thought alone
is enough to give him another surge of terror.
Coughing again, he reaches out to try and find Katie's hand.
7/31/12
Terror
Katie's thoughts and enjoyment was shattered as soon as Hunter's horse was out of control. She new what these banks where like, she new there was no safety and if the horse faulted Hunter would go down with him and there was no telling what might happen. All Katie can do it watch as to not make anything worse.
Seeing the line was about to snap though Katie acts fast riding over to Hunter but right as she reaches for him she was not fast enough and he was gone.
"HUNTER!!!!!"
Katie yells after him as she watches him tumble down the hill hitting roots, trees and everything else that was in his path. Not even waiting Katie was already looking for a way down that was safe for her and her own horse. Hearing a splash it causes her to stop and look. Not seeing Hunter anywhere she new what happened, she new where he was, and she new how dangerous that part of the creek could be. The explanation of his dream comes back to Katie's mind and she eyes widen just a little bit.
Taking the horse and going down the hill Katie new it wasn't to safe but she didn't care there was no time and as her heart raced, she could feel the emotions of pure terror course through her veins. She couldn't believe this was happening.
"Dad...down a little ways is a safe way down here, I am gonna need your help to find...."
The sentince wasn't even finished as Katie looks down the creek a little way and see Hunter's lifeless body in the water. Getting off her horse Katie new she would stay put but if she didn't at the moment she didn't much care.
"No No No No....Hunter....Hunter...!"
Desperation laced Katie's voice pure adrennilan rushed through her veins keeping all the emotions that wanted her to break down at cry at bay for now. Now she was worried about her friend, and she needed to help him.
Jumping through the water Katie didn't care she was getting wet. It was last thing on her mind that she needed to worry about. Getting to Hunter she slowly turns him over keeping his head stable encase of head trama. Pulling him out of the watch she checks his breath He wasn't breathing and her heart races even faster,as a little tear rolls down her cheek.
"Come on Hunter don't leave me."
Covering his nose and opening his mouth tilting his head back a little Katie breaths into him before going to his chest and positioning her hands pumping down on him trying to kick start his hearth, and lungs again. Still nothing she repeats it doing it once again, and than again each time with a little more hast and urgency.
Live Nightmare
It didn't take long for Jeff and Hunter to both get saddled up and ready to go. Once Katie was back from the mess hall, the three exit the barn and mount up. Jeff waves to Mick, letting him know they'd probably be back late afternoon, and telling him which trail they were taking. It wasn't really a rule, but a good habit most of those at the ranch had when taking off for more than an hour, just in case anything happened.
The
morning was gorgeous - perfect for a horseback ride and even better
with good company. Jeff did his best to be satisfied with an easy pace,
and also tried to keep himself in a good mood. He was still working
through his depression, but with the support of his family, he was
slowly starting to be his old self again. Leading the way, he takes the
other two up the main trail then off onto a narrower, less-traveled
path. There was more brush and bramble, forcing the riders to cease
riding side-by-side. Conversation continued though - anything from
horses, to camping to Hunter's racing to movies. It was pleasant, and
time went quickly. Before they knew it, they were almost halfway up into
the foothills - soon to arrive at the clearing where they would stop
for lunch.
"Watch
your step up here, guys," Jeff warns, hollering over his shoulder. It
was more a warning for Hunter than Katie - she'd been up here countless
times. For a novice rider though, it could be just a little difficult to
maneuver. The trail followed the path of the river - which could be
rough in a few deep spots, but generally it flowed gently down from the
nearby mountain.
Working
their way up the trail, the threesome continues in a single-file line
as the horses pick their way along the edge of the drop-off that served
as a high bank for the river. Taking up the rear, Hunter enjoys the
scenery, of blue sky, fluffy clouds and woods, just soaking it in.
Glancing off to the side, he leans a little to see the river below.
"Hey, Jeff," he calls ahead. "Any good fishing in here?"
Jeff
turns around in his saddle, letting Hawk have his head. "Not too bad,
depending on the season. I come up here every once in a while and drop a
line. Catch a few trout if I'm lucky."
Hunter
nods, hardly able to remember the last time he'd been fishing, but he
missed it. Wait, hadn't it been in the river back in Nevada? Yeah, he'd
been with... Kyle.
Completely
lost in thought for the next few minutes, Hunter pays little attention
to the trail, or to the jackrabbit that came crashing through the brush.
Bonzai, however, saw it clearly, and was not happy about the speeding
critter that crossed his path. Stopping abruptly, the horse shies,
spinning towards the woods.
Unprepared,
Hunter loses his balance and yanks back on his reins to keep Bonzai
from bolting. At the sharp pull on his mouth, Bonzai stumbles backward,
his hind feet slipping off the path and down the embankment. Jostled
from his seat, Hunter grabs hold of his saddle and Bonzai's mane, his
eyes catching a glimpse of the short but rough bank down to the river.
"Whoa, easy, easy..."
Hearing
the commotion, Jeff turns around to see Bonzai struggling to pull
himself back up onto the path, and Hunter hanging on, having lost both
his stirrups. "Lean forward!" he barks. "Get him back on the path!"
Doing
his best, Hunter manages to stay seated... until Bonzai trips on a tree
root. One second, Hunter was struggling to remain in the saddle, and
the next he was on the ground. Sliding down the embankment, he hangs on
by the reins, his body tensing in fear. "Come on, Bonzai," he coaxes.
"Back up... back up."
Bonzai
finally gets his feet under himself, his head almost all the way to the
ground, being pulled by the reins. Grunting and snorting, he tries to
back up, flailing his head in an attempt to be free of the pressure.
By
now, Jeff had Hawk turned around and knew the situation was not good.
"Katie!" He couldn't get to Hunter himself on the narrow path. "Get to
him before -"
Too late. The reins snap.
The
abrupt release in tension sends Bonzai reeling backward, finally
getting his feet under himself. But it also gives Hunter nothing to
hold.
All
at once, Hunter finds himself sliding down the steep embankment. Trying
to stop himself, his hands claw at the earth only to scrape against
rocks and protruding tree roots. Hitting a dead tree, his feet-first
slide becomes an all-out tumble, head over heels until for a split
second, he feels himself in mid-air. Then his body hits the water.
Never
was there a more helpless feeling than seeing someone fall. "Hunter!"
Jeff's call was useless though - nothing was stopping Hunter's momentum
or could catch him before he fell into the river.
Struck
with the force of water, Hunter thrashes against the current, coming up
for air just to be yanked back below the surface by an invisible
undertow. The sunlight disappears as he's dragged through the water and
all at once, he's surrounded by darkness. And in that moment, he
experiences his nightmare all over again - but this time, it wasn't a
dream. He was living it.
Ripped
along by the current, Hunter kicks against it, trying to swim, but to
no avail. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't surface. His lungs
felt as though they were being torn apart, begging him for air as
precious oxygen slips away.
Suddenly,
Hunter's body comes to a halt amidst the current as his leg is caught
in the fork of a sunken log. Jerked around by the swirling water, his
knee is wrenched, sending pain shooting through his entire leg. His cry
is lost underwater and the remaining air in his lungs is spent.
Struggling in a panic to free his leg, it's simply no use - his knee was
wedged in too tightly to move. And his head could not reach the
surface.
Every muscle in his body ached as he tries to free himself. But the inevitable hurts even more: he was going to drown.
Jeff's
eyes wildly search the river, waiting to see Hunter reappear... but he
didn't. The river wasn't that deep. It wasn't that strong. What was
happening? Why hadn't Hunter surfaced? Dread hangs in the air.
Caught
in the deadly current with nowhere to go, Hunter could hear his own
heart beating loudly, his pulse racing with adrenaline. In every
nightmare, he died. In every nightmare, he experienced an impending
darkness before awakening in cold sweat. But there was no awakening from
this. This was not a dream. And he was going to die.
Still
fighting, he knows that his lungs won't last much longer, and he can
feel himself beginning to grow dizzy from lack of oxygen. Yanking at his
leg despite the pain, desperation is the only thing he feels. Yet it
could not help him now. Nothing could help him now. He was going to
suffer a miserable end to a miserable life right here, before he'd even
experienced the life he wanted. He was leaving behind dreams. Hopes. A
future. Katie. A life which he had despised, he had grown to want.
"God..."
How
long had it been since he had prayed? How long had he rejected God, who
had given him all of those dreams and hopes that he was longing for
now?
"Please... don't let me die... not today... not like this... I have too much left... please..."
His
silent words are desperately spoken through his heart. Darkness invades
his mind, and he feels the presence of unconsciousness coming closer.
Using what little strength he had left, he yanks one more time at his
leg.
Let go, Hunter.
Shocked by the voice that was more felt than heard, Hunter stops thrashing.
I'm in control - not you. If you want to live, let go.
Let go? He couldn't let go! He had to survive. Had to fight. If he let go, he would drown right here and now!
But
as the darkness increases, Hunter knows he does not have the power to
save himself. And as the murky black closes in, he gives up. Ceasing the
fight, he allows his muscles to relax. And as the water rushes towards
his lungs, he can feel his eyes roll back in his head...
...A
short ways down the river where the bank was not so high, Hunter's
unconscious body washes up, coming to rest on a partial sandbar.
Face-down in the water, he shows no signs of movement.
Ready
Turning around quickly at her dad's voice Katie can't help but laugh and have some color come to her own cheeks. She enjoyed the attachen Hunter gave her and was not embarrassed by it but just something about her dad being there felt kind of strange. Maybe because taking a step forward with Hunter was still new and they hadn't really told anyone.
"Ohhh...Becky is such a sweet heart. I like that woman more and more every day."
Moving back by her horse Katie continues to tak her up. Hearing Jeff's plan Katie gave a nod. It sounded good to her. It would be something different but an easy ride at the same time. Katie thought the idea was perfect and was happy he thought about it.
"I think thats a great idea. There should be that clearing by the creek about half way up too we can stop at to eat the figure out if we want to continue or not."
PDA
"Blowing off chores sounds like too much fun." Hunter lets Katie go, reaching out to pat her horse. "But... you twisted my arm."
Turning back around, he grins at Katie before leaning down to give her lips a quick but passionate kiss. "I did get a good night sleep, thank you." Smiling, he brushes her cheek with the back of his hand. He did feel good this morning - better than he had in over a week. He wasn't sure how long Angel would let him stay on the pills, but if they worked, he'd take them as long as he could. He'd only woken up once, and even then it was just to turn over and go right back to sleep again. Rising this morning he felt refreshed and ready to go.
"Alright, you two. No public displays of affection this early in the morning."
Hunter spins around to see Jeff before laughing. "Right. Uh... sorry."
Jeff grins and winks at his daughter. "Don't forget you're riding with her dad today."
Color comes to Hunter's cheeks as he clears his throat. "Of course... Sir."
Jeff chuckles and gives Hunter's arm a teasing whack. "Katie, I just came from the mess hall, and Becky offered to make us some food to take a long so I gave her my saddlebags. By the time we're saddled up, we should have lunch to go." He turns and looks at Hunter. "You, um... need help tacking up?"
"You kidding me?" Hunter starts down the aisle. "Bonsai taught me everything I need to know."
Grinning, Jeff looks back to Katie. "I was thinking we'd take the north trail through the foothills. We haven't had any rain lately so the river should be plenty low. It's kind of a narrow trail, but Hunter seems like he's gotten his seat well enough that he should be okay. What do you think?"
Good Night
Leaning back into Hunter's Katie smiles and gives a small laugh bringing her hands to Hunter's who was around her. Feeling wrapped in his arms was nice and telling by the pep in his voice last night had been another good night for him and Katie was glad.
"Good Morning Handsome! Looks like you got a good night sleep again finally."
Turning around a little to look at Hunter Katie's eyes twinkle. She had a feeling today was going to be an enjoyable day for everyone. And starting out early would give them the relaxing start and still get them where they wanted in good time.
Morning
Hunter's eyes remain on Jeff for several more moments before he looks down at his plate. There was an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach all of a sudden, and he finds himself playing with his green beans. Seeing Katie interact with her father was... different. She really did love and respect him, and it was more than obvious that Jeff loved his daughter dearly. What must it be like? To have a relationship like that? To feel that loved by a parent? To know that they wouldn't let you down?
Clearing his throat, he takes a bite of his supper and nods. "Yeah... when you told me how good the food was here, I figured you were exaggerating. Guess I was wrong."
He grins and nudges Katie with her elbow. "So... I'm thinking if I can stay awake a while then I'll be more likely to sleep some more tonight. So if that crazy cousin of yours wants to play UNO again, I'm in."
And he was. Staying up with a small group to play cards was fun, and Hunter finds himself in stitches half the time - mostly from Clint's antics or teasing Katie. By the time everyone dispersed for bed, Hunter was quite tired - enough so that he really did hope he'd get some more good sleep. And after a tender kiss goodnight to Katie, he promised he'd see her in the morning...
...Stifling a yawn, Hunter ambles into the barn. It was early morning and chores were underway. He knew that he, Jeff and Katie would be heading out as soon as possible if they were going to make any kind of distance today.
Bidding good morning to a few of the guys, he finally spots Katie already starting to tack up her horse in the aisle. Coming up behind her, he slips his arms around her waist and gives her neck a kiss. "Good morning, Buttercup."
Even Before
Receiving Hunter's hug Katie gives a laugh and squeezes him back. It really did make her feel good that he was going to stay, he though she was worth it and that said more than words ever could. And him getting sleep confirmed to Katie that he was meant to be here, there was always a way as long as someone looked hard enough.
"Ok good. It should be lots of fun."
Hearing her dad's voice Katie looks up at him and smiles. Seeing he had a plate of food for Hunter too she gives a small nod of thanks. The only person she had explained anything to at the ranch was him. He was her father and he new when something was wrong. There was no way she could keep anything from him. Never could, and never would.
Just watching her father as he talked Katie was thankful he still accepted Hunter even though he had made a mistake. She had been worried that Jeff might not want to spend time with him or might even advise Katie not too. Now her worries were calmed though seeing now thing would be ok with a little time.
"Oh I am so happy Angel cleared you. I am really looking forward to the ride tomorrow. It's always fun going into the mountains."
Watching her dad walk away Katie's smile grew even more on her lips. Her dad was pretty special to her and there were so many things about him that were amazing. His life had been hard, he might have health problems and a hard time accepting it but still he really was amazing to have kept his spirits up for so long, and to push through the day. Katie had learned many things from him, and always would continue.
"Yeah, He's great. I love him to death, even before I new he was my dad I did."
Humbled
Smiling, Hunter doesn't refuse Katie a hug, and holds her tight for a moment, kissing her forehead. "Mm... yeah, I do feel better. Feel like I could sleep another eight hours though - maybe I'll actually be able to catch up on that tonight." He hoped that he could at least make it through tonight. Just one night so he could have a good day tomorrow.
Leaving one arm slung over her shoulders, with his free hand, he snitches a green bean from her plate. "Of course I'll go riding with you guys - I'd love to. Even if I don't get any sleep tonight, I should be good enough tomorrow to at least stay in the saddle."
"I hope so." Jeff ambles up to their table and sets a plate of food down in front of Hunter.
Hunter looks up in surprise, then smiles gratefully. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." Pulling out a chair across from them, Jeff eases down to sit. "Not interrupting, am I?"
"Naw." Hunter shakes his head before taking a bite of meatloaf.
"Okay, good. Looks like Katie's already asked you about tomorrow... I wasn't sure if
you'd be up to it though. I know you haven't been feeling well."
Not
feeling well? Hunter could see as plain as day that look in Jeff's eye -
Katie's dad knew all about his bender and arrest. Disapproval lay in
his gaze... but so did something else... mercy and grace. He was still
willing to have Hunter along on their ride. He probably knew about
Hunter's sleeplessness too, but that was being kept quiet as well. And
Hunter felt... too humbled to be upset. His eyes drop though as he toys
with his fork. "Yeah, I um... Angel helped me out in the sleep
department today, so... I think I'll feel up to a ride... if you really
don't mind me along."
"Not a bit." Jeff winks at Katie. "Besides, I have a feeling my daughter is going to smile more if you come."
Hunter grins and gives Katie a sidelong glance. Apparently they were becoming more obvious.
Jeff chuckles and stands up again. "Well, I'm gonna go finish my own food. See you two later."
Watching Jeff walk away, Hunter leans back in his seat. "Your dad's a nice guy," he comments quietly to Katie.
7/30/12
Ride
Hearing Jeff's little joke and seeing that familiar glint in his eye it made Angel feel good and confidante that things might be a little different now and for that alone she was happy and willing to agreeing on letting Jeff do a little more than normal as long as he new when to call it quits.
"Your welcome Jeff and dont sweat it. Whats done is done and forgotten we are good now, thanks for the apologize though."
Giving Jeff another smile and a nod Angel was please and she was happy too. If he kept this up than he would be feeling better in no time. Having balance was important and once Jeff found it things would become much easyer.
"If you need anything else Jeff, feel free to ask ok?"
Feeling the hand go up her back and than seeing Hunter Katie grins up at him. It gave her chills just feeling his fingers run up her back but it wasn't a bad thing. She'd been wanting to spend some time with him all day but had refrained knowing he needed his sleep. Though she had stopped in once and a while to make sure he was ok.
"Of course you can...as long as I get a hug first."
Reaching out and giving Hunter a hug Katie was happy to see he'd gotten some sleep. Even if his body was still the sleep was needed before he got himself sick. He looked healthy now and she was happy, that meant what Angel gave him had worked.
"You might feel like Rip but you don't look like death anymore. I was getting worried, but seeing you renewed now I am guessing what Angel got for you worked."
Katie gives a large smile as she pats Hunter's hand and lets her fingers rest over his.This was the start, and with Hunter getting some sleep it was just the start. She couldn't wait to share more time with him.
Rip Van Winkle
Sitting on the table, Jeff gives Angel a reluctant nod. "Okay... nothing wild. I'll even ask Sparky to ride Hawk today and get all his energy out so tomorrow he'll be as tame as a lamb." He stops and quirks an eyebrow. "Hawk, not Sparky. Well, maybe Sparky too. He could use some calming down too. Ever since he's been married, he's just been a handful, ya know."
"Yeah.... yeah, okay." Arriving at his bunk, Hunter squeezes Katie's hand, turning towards her. "You're stuck with me now, ya know." He lets her hand go to reach up and brush her cheek with his fingers. "I hope you don't regret it."
Leaning down, he gives her lips a tender kiss. "I'll see you later." He hoped it would be later than sooner, if that meant he could sleep. He felt like he was walking around dead right now the way it was, and he could feel his body trying to shut down. He'd gone without sleep before, but it had never been anything like this.
Giving Katie's chin a light tap with his thumb, he turns to go into his bunkhouse. Once inside, he takes off his jacket and kicks his boots off into the corner. Studying the bottle of pills for a couple minutes, he finally takes a dose and lies down on the bed. It was so soft and comfortable. His body wanted sleep so badly, while his mind continued to race with fear of that horrible darkness. But his eyes felt so very heavy. Maybe if he could just get a half an hour in... that would be better than nothing...
...Prying open his eyes, Hunter groggily looks about his surroundings. The lighting was strange. Dim. Soft. Rolling over onto his back, he winces as his muscles protest. He felt as though he'd been run over by a truck.
Blinking, he finally gains a few more of his senses and he looks over at the clock. Shocked to see that it was almost seven o'clock he then looks to the window. No wonder the light seemed strange - it was much later in the day than when he'd laid down earlier. He must not have moved at all either, according to his achy back and legs.
Eventually sitting up, he runs a hand through his matted hair and tries to bring his mind into focus. Seven o'clock... he'd slept over eight hours straight. No wonder he was groggy. And... he hadn't woken from a nightmare once either. Though feeling tired from such a hard sleep, at the same time, he hadn't felt this good for over a week. Finally, finally.
Getting himself up and washing out his eyes, he finds his sneakers and pulls on a clean shirt. He'd need to do laundry again tomorrow. With as few things as he'd brought, he was doing laundry every two or three days. He was grateful for Becky's willingness to help out with that though.
Finally making it out of his bunkhouse, he sees little movement around the ranch and knew that supper was probably well under way. Wandering to the mess hall, he slips in the back door and scans the room. Yep, it looked like supper was at least halfway over. Spotting Katie over to one side, he ignores some of the other glances thrown his way. More than likely everybody had noticed his absence and knew he'd been trying to sleep all day. They could wonder what they wanted for now.
Ambling over to Katie's table, he comes up behind her, running his hand up her back before giving her shoulder a playful squeeze. "Got room for me?"
He pulls out a chair and sits down, stifling a yawn. Giving her a sleepy smile, his eyes still weren't fully awake yet. "I feel like Rip Van Winkle."
Relax
Keeping her hand locked with Hunter's Katie walks with him back to the bunk. She new that she had worked that was left unfinished and she needed to finish it but she wanted to make sure all was ok with Hunter as well. She'd get to her work again soon and new no one would razz her to much.
"I understand Hunter. Maybe trying to sleep is best for you right now. You don't want to over work yourself to much at this point."
Katie new that maybe there was a little fear there about sleeping but it really was a must and Hunter had to at least try to get a little sleep. Maybe these pills would work and for now it would be Hunter's quick fix so he could function like a normal person.
"The worse that happens it doesn't work and we go back to Angel. At least go into it positive though ok?"
Hearing another knock and looking up again to see Jeff Angel was a little surprised. She was sure she wasn't going to see Jeff for at least a few more days, but she was happy he had come. Knowing his reason made her feel even better that he'd come to see her. She was confidant that maybe he was understanding the realism of everything.
"Alright lets look ya over and see how you are doing and we can go from there ok?"
Looking Jeff over and asking him a few questions Angel gives a smile before stepping back and giving a little nod. Jeff was not all the way but he was much better than he had been. There was a little more color to his skin, and the dark circles under his eyes seemed to be less. For that Angel was very happy.
I Promised
Taking the bottle from Angel, Hunter nods at her instructions. "Okay... thanks." In reality, he knew that a hammer wouldn't be the next step - a shrink would. And that was something he was unwilling to try.
Leaving with Katie, he wanders beside her towards the bunkhouses. "I'm not gonna be any good today at all with the shape I'm in." Sighing, he studies the bottle in his hand as they walk. "Maybe I should just try to sleep today instead of worrying about barn work or riding, I don't know." In reality, he was afraid this wouldn't work, and he really didn't want to have nightmares during the day too. At least he'd contained them to the night so far. But he was so tired...
It was only moments after the two had left Angel's office that there was another knock to her door. Poking his head inside, Jeff spots her before entering. "Morning..." He hadn't talked to her much since he'd come back from the hospital, making him feel just a little awkward, but he knew it was time.
"Um... I don't want to bother you, I just... well, I promised Katie I'd go riding with her when I felt better, and I do. I was thinking about tomorrow but... I wanted your approval first. If you don't think I should yet then... I won't."
Dream
Giving a little laugh Angel shakes her head at Hunter's comment. At least he had a mild sense of humor still. If anything else that was a good thing and a plus. Though looking between Hunter and Katie Angel could see the worry on both there faces and she new that it was the truth.
"I'd rather not have to take care of another concussion myself. I deal with enough of those in a week."
Backing away and unlocking her cabnit Angel looks through what she has. Something that could knock Hunter out but was not to strong or habit forming. That was a tough combination but she was sure she had something. Picking up the bottles and reading them finally she finds the one was was looking for.
"Here we go. This might not knock you out knock you out but it will get you in a deep enough sleep you wont dream. It's not habit forming so you wont have to worry about that and the only side affect it a little dry mouth. I want you to try taking it every other day starting today."
Looking to Angel Katie gives a nod of thanks and a smile. Would this work for Hunter she wasn't sure but she was thankful Angel was trying anyways. Hunter did need to sleep and if this at least gave him a few solid hours than it was well worth it.
Hammer
Following Katie back to the ranch, it was all Hunter could do to keep his bike going in a straight line. He'd originally set out with the intent of driving straight back to Nevada, but after the short break, apparently his sleepiness was back full-force.
Making it back to the ranch though, he tries to ignore the fact that others might have seen him leave and now he had some explaining to do. They might not ask... but the had a feeling Mick at least would be questioning him.
Help
Katie wondered if Hunter still really didn't know what was wrong with him or if he was just failing to face the truth. Either was she was in this with him now and she would continue to help and stand by him till he did face the truth and found his way.
"Alright, talking to Angel when we get back sounds good to me."
Looking up at Hunter and giving a smile Katie leans up to give him another soft kiss on the lips. Before heading back to her car and making there way back to the ranch together. She wasn't sure where this new chapter was going in life, or how it would end but what she did know was to enjoy the ride while she could and if good came from it than it was far from a wast.
Getting back to the ranch and parking Katie waits for Hunter to take his stuff back to his bunk before heading over to Angel's. Giving a little knock on the door before walking in Katie gives a little wave to Angel who was at her desk.
Hearing the door open and looking up Angel smiles seeing Hunter and Katie. Taking note to the dark circles under his eyes she could guess Hunter was still not sleeping good. She new he'd had nightmares and she gave him a mild sleep aid to see if would help but it seemed it was not, but that was only her observation.
As If
Looking down into Katie's eyes, Hunter sees the remnants of tears, but also a new shine of hope. There were a lot of people he could say no to... apparently she wasn't one of them.
Her question makes him roll his eyes and he reaches a hand up to wipe away a couple remaining tears from her cheek. "As if I could leave now."
Sliding his arm back around her, he just holds her for a few quiet moments, studying her gaze. His eyes were so dark and tired... exhaustion had long since set in. But his mouth creases into a small smile. "I don't know why I get the funny feeling you're gonna be the death of me. But I guess if I have to die, having you around would make it more enjoyable."
Bending, he kisses her forehead before sighing deeply. "I only ask that we talk to Angel when we get back." He leans his head against hers, closing his eyes. "I've gotta sleep..." His hand absentmindedly rubs her back. "I've gotta figure out what's wrong with me."
Her question makes him roll his eyes and he reaches a hand up to wipe away a couple remaining tears from her cheek. "As if I could leave now."
Sliding his arm back around her, he just holds her for a few quiet moments, studying her gaze. His eyes were so dark and tired... exhaustion had long since set in. But his mouth creases into a small smile. "I don't know why I get the funny feeling you're gonna be the death of me. But I guess if I have to die, having you around would make it more enjoyable."
Bending, he kisses her forehead before sighing deeply. "I only ask that we talk to Angel when we get back." He leans his head against hers, closing his eyes. "I've gotta sleep..." His hand absentmindedly rubs her back. "I've gotta figure out what's wrong with me."
Don't want
As Hunter pulls her in for another kiss Katie doesn't resist. Just letting her own emotions run free and flow into her kiss. Bringing her hand behind Hunter's head and her other hand to his back she rubs it gently. Her heart pounded in her chest so hard that it might just pound right out. Katie didn't care though this moment she would let last, this moment she had been waiting for would continue.
Letting a soft murmur free Katie lets her fingers play with Hunter's hair softly brushing the back of his neck her other had holding him tight as she could feel his grip on her tighten. Just letting the kiss continue as she lets what she felt come out. Finally as Hunter breaks the kiss but pulls her closer Katie wraps her own arms around him.
Her tears now had quieted a little but her eyes were still slightly glossy as she sniffed to keep from getting Hunter's shirt wet. Just staying silent after hearing his words Katie lets out a sigh she just mumbles a little into his shoulder.
"We can heal your mind, but I am not sure I want to give you, your heart back."
Standing there for another moment Katie was happy this was a quiet road with them both standing in the middle like they were. Some traffic would be held up if not, but it was rare anyone not going to the ranch would come down this way so they were safe.
Finally pulling away a little Katie keeps her arms around Hunter. Searching his eyes she gives a small smile looking up at him. Just continuing to search his eyes Katie's heart continued to pound but she didn't want to hide it. It was another way of just saying how she felt.
7/29/12
Wildly
It hurt. Everything did. Her words, him being here, his feelings... Hunter just wanted it all to go away so he could return to a simpler life - a simpler life he'd been living, whether it had been right or not.
Being forced to turn around, he has to look into Katie's eyes once more, and once more, her tears pierce his heart. It was bad enough seeing her cry - worse was knowing that she was crying because of him. Her admitting she was falling for him seems to numb everything else. It wasn't a new thought... he knew they'd been leaning towards more than friends... but to have her say it to his face, it...
Hunter's thoughts are brought to a halt as suddenly Katie's lips are on his own. His hands go to her shoulders to push her away, but he never does. Her kiss was sweet... warm... tender... full of all the emotions that
had been surging through her gaze. It was all here, all being placed
out in the open, and all being laid before Hunter - he could embrace it
or trample it. Too confused and shocked to return the kiss, he just lets
her show her feelings through this moment, as his pulse starts to race
again.
As Katie retreats, his hands linger on her shoulders. His gaze
meets hers and her words pierce his heart like a knife. It didn't matter
how set he was on leaving.... how firmly he'd made up his mind... how
much he wanted to flee... He just couldn't leave her - not like this.
She wanted him. Saying no to that would make him the ultimate fool.
Saying nothing, he pulls her back close to him again. Sliding one
hand up behind her head, he guides his lips to hers once more - but
this time like he'd wanted to all week... with passion. Kissing her long
and hard, all of his pent-up emotions seem to overflow. Gripping her
tightly around the waist, he coaxes a returned kiss to share it
together. All of his intentions from this morning were shot to pieces,
leaving him at the mercy of whatever was to come. He couldn't walk away
from this... from her.
Deepening his kiss, he lets it continue until eventually drawing
back with several lighter kisses. Wrapping his arms around Katie, he
pulls her to his chest, just hugging her close to his heart, which was
beating wildly. Breathing heavily, he closes his eyes, burying his face
in her hair.
"Heaven help me, Katie," he whispers. "I'm losing my heart right along with my mind."
Falling
Still so upset Hunter's words hurt even more with each one that was said. It hurt so much but she was unwilling to let him walk away. Why she is not sure but maybe it had to do with at one talk she'd walked away and wish maybe she'd not been able too.
"You are leaving me Hunter and not just this place. Your turning your back on me, everything we have started and it all revolves around me."
Taking Hunter by the arm Katie spins him around and brings her hand to his face. One might think in a slap but no strike comes. She just holds his face to look her in the eyes her own piercing his. The pleading, the desperation to not let this one thing go too.
"Good guy, Bad guy...I don't care. I'm falling for you Hunter Maxwell and that out weighs anything."
Pulling Hunter twords her Katie's lips press against his just letting the kiss linger. Letting everything she was feeling flow through her and relay everything she wasn't. Every park of her hurt, but she wasn't going to let this moment pass by, not now, not this time. Finally backing away a little she continues to look up at him her eyes still a little teary.
Don't Exist
Katie's words stung. Her words about a mask and about issues that
weren't connected to the ranch. Even if she was right, Hunter didn't
want to think about it. That's why he was leaving - so he wouldn't have
to. He didn't understand what was going on inside of himself - he just
wanted to bury it and move on. Why couldn't she let him do that?!
He's about to retort when she comes closer. Not the tears... why did she have to cry? The look on her face and seeing those tears... they cut Hunter to the quick. Not to mention her begging him to stay. A lump rises in his throat and his inner battle intensifies.
Spinning on his heel, he turns his back on Katie. Rubbing his hands over his face, he growls. "I'm not leaving you... I'm leaving this place... it has nothing to do with you so don't make me out to be the bad guy." But he was the bad guy. Here he was, forming a friendship - maybe more - with Katie, and he'd up and decided to just run off. Whether the issue was her or not, he was letting her down and hurting her.
Setting his hands on his hips, he sighs deeply. He could feel Katie behind him. Her eyes. Those tear-filled eyes. Why was she making this so difficult? "Life's not fair, and happy endings don't exist," he argues.
He's about to retort when she comes closer. Not the tears... why did she have to cry? The look on her face and seeing those tears... they cut Hunter to the quick. Not to mention her begging him to stay. A lump rises in his throat and his inner battle intensifies.
Spinning on his heel, he turns his back on Katie. Rubbing his hands over his face, he growls. "I'm not leaving you... I'm leaving this place... it has nothing to do with you so don't make me out to be the bad guy." But he was the bad guy. Here he was, forming a friendship - maybe more - with Katie, and he'd up and decided to just run off. Whether the issue was her or not, he was letting her down and hurting her.
Setting his hands on his hips, he sighs deeply. He could feel Katie behind him. Her eyes. Those tear-filled eyes. Why was she making this so difficult? "Life's not fair, and happy endings don't exist," he argues.
Please
Looking at Hunter and hearing his words Katie could feel the hurt, the anger just grow inside of her. Everything that happened in the last week was thrown out the window like it was nothing. Everything She and Hunter had shared was just tossed aside and that hurt more than anything.
"I never asked you to change that Hunter, I just asked you to be yourself and you want to know what you showed me that. What was behind the mask and what you fail to face."
Stepping closer to him Katie raises her hand in the air before letting them fall to her side. She didn't understand what this had to do with anything. Him drinking the other night? Being embarrassed, whatever it was it was forgotten till now.
"Even away from here your not going to sleep, and after this if your really do leave your gonna sleep even less and you know it Hunter because you know what this is about and its nothing to do with the ranch."
Turning around for a second Katie lets out a long sigh bringing a hand to her face. Why did she had to deal with this...all of this and yet care so much not to let him go.
Facing Hunter again Katie walks up closer to him tears streaming from her eyes. Hurt, a deep hurt, yet a pleading at the same time for Hunter not to go. Her emotions where off the chart going every different way.
Shouldn't Have
Hunter wasn't sure how long he'd been parked at the intersection -
long enough he'd put down his kickstand to give his legs a rest.
Continuing to stare at the road, it was as if he simply could not decide
one way or the other what to do. He wanted to leave. He wanted to go.
He wanted to leave all this behind and never return. Yet he wanted to go
back. He wanted to stay. He wanted to figure out what was happening and
fix it. But he was tired. So tired. He needed sleep. Needed peace.
Movement in his mirror catches his eye and his pulse quickens. He
knew that car. Katie? But why? As she parks behind him, he doesn't
move, remaining seated on his bike. Why had she come after him? It
didn't make much sense.
As she approaches, his fast pulse speeds up another notch.
Looking into her eyes, he wasn't sure he'd ever seen them look like this
before. She was upset. No, angry. Not enraged, but filled with a
righteous anger. A hurt. A hurt he'd caused.
Shifting his eyes away from hers, he sighs deeply. So why had he left? Without saying goodbye? What was his wonderful reasoning?
"Because if I woulda said goodbye to your face, I wouldn't have been able to leave."
That was it. That was the truth, whether she liked it or not.
Sliding off his bike, he turns his back on her, folding his arms and
glaring at the stop sign for a moment or two. "Dang you, Katie," he
mutters.
Spinning around, his dark eyes meet hers once more. "This is what
I gotta do, alright? I can't take it here anymore. I don't belong." He
shakes his head. "I'm still the guy you arrested - just an intoxicated
idiot who likes a good thrill. That's me. It's who I am, and you can't
change it." His tone had raises slightly, and deep down he wasn't sure
if he was fighting her or himself.
Why?
Working in the barn for at least an hour Katie stops for a second and
stands stretching her back out. At the moment she was working alone
letting Hunter sleep this morning. If he wasn't out here already she
figured he might just might be getting a goodnight sleep and that was
something he needed. Once it got a little later if he wasn't here she'd
go check.
Taking a moment to wondered outside the barn and take in a breath of air movement on the driveway catches her attachen.
Seeing it was Hunter Katie just stands there for a long moment watching
him. She'd wonder what he was doing, or where he was going but the bag
on his bike explained it all. He looked going like he had coming. So
now...he was leaving again?
Katie didn't want to
believe it. She wanted to think he was just going out to do something
and would be back, maybe he needed air and some time to himself but in
the pit of her stomach, with what she saw with her eyes Katie new. She
new in her heart he'd leave and never come back.
Turning
around quickly and heading back inside Katie spots Dylan and walks over
to him. She new he had his own work to do but she hoped he wouldn't
mind to much helping her out as well. Either way she would be leaving
she just would feel better not leaving this place a mess.
"Hey Dylan, I have something that came up, can you do me a favor and
just clean out this last stall for me. It would mean a lot and thanks."
Setting
the pitch fork down Katie heads out of the barn again and takes off her
gloves. Putting them in her back pocket she heads to her bunk to grab
her keys. Stopping by Hunter's bunk she just wanted to confirm to
herself that he really had left. Seeing the note and the little bit of
money Katie just leaves it for now before leaving and than sprinting to
her car.
Getting in she wastes no time before peeling out of the drive way
and turning the same way she had seen Hunter go. She didn't know where
he was going but she could guess maybe back to Nevada, He was only ten
or fifteen minutes ahead of her she could catch up if she hurried.
Speeding down the road Katie new she was going fast but she
wanted to catch up to Hunter, it was important to her, and she needed to
talk to him. She had a question and she wouldn't let it go unasked.
There were not many people out at this time anyways so she new for the
most part she was safe.
Coming up to the intersection Katie saw a figure on the road.
Slowing down a little bit she could make out a bike and Hunter. He was
stopped, he must have been for a while but why. It was strange and she
didn't quite understand but she would soon.
Pulling over to the side of the road Katie shuts her car off and
gets out. Coming over twords Hunter a little bit she jingles her keys in
her hand as she looks up at him squinting in the sun.
Once again Katie emotions ran high though she tried to controle them. Seeing Hunter in front of her now it was hard to fight the feelings she felt. She felt hurt, betrayed, and stabbed in the back. To have come so far, to get so close, and to do what most people wouldn't only to have him walk away now.
Running Away
Pausing between bites, Alec gains a new crooked smile. Not many people remembered he craved sour flavors, let alone went out of their way to do anything about it. Misty was indeed special, and... the more Alec was around her, the more he saw his brother as a complete and utter fool. For anyone giving up somebody like Misty was either blind or insane.
"Thanks..." He wondered if he would ever be able to repay her for everything she was doing for him.
"A movie sound good," he agrees. He wasn't particularly in the mood to sit and watch anything, but it beat sulking and crying any more.
Despite how depressing his day had been, he's able to enjoy the evening with Misty, laughing and making fun of the cheesy movie, and eating the sour candies until his mouth hurt. By the time he went to bed on the couch, his emotions felt a little more stable, and his only hope was that it carried through into the next day too.
"Nothing." Reese sighs before setting his hands on his
hips as he stands by Angelica's desk. "Dalton can't find a thing that
Carson might have been doing on the computers here. Which can only mean
one thing - he's covered his tracks for some reason. Otherwise,
something would have shown up. Anything! But not even Dalton can find
it, which means not only has Carson covered his tracks, it was severe
enough for him to work really hard at it."
Flopping
down in an extra chair, Reese looks at Angelica with desperation. "What
do I do? I've had Pete tail him. So far that hasn't proven
anything, although it hasn't been too long. I'm just... I'm worried.
I'm worried that Carson's into something bad, and if he is, that could
mean something even worse for the Elite."
Eyes closed and mind trying not to escape, Hunter rather likes feeling Katie's arm around him. It would be very hard not to sleep.
Hearing her apology, he cracks one eye open to look at her from the side. "If I'da thought you were a witch, I wouldn't have gone out for coffee with you." He reaches over to pat her leg. "Let's just forget about this morning altogether." That's what he'd like to do with a lot of things... just forget and move on. Nothing could be changed anyway.
Sitting for a while with Katie, he does manage to doze off a few times without any nightmares, giving him just enough energy to keep going the rest of the day. He didn't talk with Katie a whole lot more... helping with evening chores, then joining everyone for supper kept him busy. Though no one ever asked about that morning, Hunter still felt the eyes watching him... questioning... wondering.
It wasn't until after supper, after he'd declined to join in a card game, that he was stopped by Mick on the way to his bunk to be asked about what had happened. Mick admitted that he wouldn't have asked, but a friend from the police station had run across Katie's name as who had come to bail someone out, and, being aware of the high security for the ranch, had called to make sure everything was alright. Hunter was forced to give a brief explanation - though he really didn't have a good reason for any of it. Mick didn't chide or even act unhappy that Katie had been asked to bail him out - he simply took in the story and expressed his desire that something like that not happen again, for the sake of those at the ranch. Hunter said he understood and was left to continue his route to his bunk.
Once there though, the guilt had returned full-force. Not just for what he'd done, but even though Mick hadn't complained, there had been a look in his eye... a look that showed concern for his niece, even if he wouldn't say it. Hunter knew he was a disappointment. He knew he'd gotten to know everybody here, giving them all the impression he was a great guy. When in reality, he was just a desert racer that couldn't give a crap about anybody but himself. That's how he'd run his life in Nevada, and obviously that's how he ran it here. And now that Mick knew the truth, word would spread fast - everybody would know. This group of fine, upstanding, clean-nosed, close-knit, God-fearing, loving people would know he was a screwup. Maybe today had been him finally overstaying his welcome.
Standing in his room and looking at the bed, Hunter's gut twists. He didn't want to go to bed. He didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to dream. And he didn't want to face tomorrow either.
His eyes drift to his backpack in the corner. In Nevada he didn't have nightmares. In Nevada, there was no one to disappoint. In Nevada, he wasn't a failure or an impostor. He never should have come at all. But... what about Katie?
Going to the corner, he picks up his backpack and sets it on the bed. He liked Katie. A lot. Enough that he knew she deserved a better friend than he was. He'd come, had a good time, then had shown her who he really was again. Sticking around would just give him ample opportunity to show everybody again what an idiot he was, and embarrass her on top of it since she's the one that had invited him here...
...The night didn't last long enough. Hunter tossed and turned, drifting from barely asleep to nightmares, to barely asleep again. By morning, he felt if something didn't change, he truly was going to go insane - either that or go do something stupid just to end it all. But something would change. He was making sure of that.
Waiting until much later than normal to emerge from his bunk, he knew that others would most likely assume he was just sleeping in after yesterday. Katie was probably assuming the same thing. Which was fine with him. It's only when he knew that most people were in the barn busy with chores that he finally comes outside... fully dressed in his leather jacket and motorcycle boots with his backpack slung over his shoulder.
Slipping around to the garage, he makes his movements quick and subtle. Speaking to no one, he mounts up on his motorcycle and starts the engine. Donning his helmet, he takes one last look over his shoulder towards the barn. Katie was in there probably helping feed the horses. He knew she hadn't come to his bunk this morning because she'd probably wanted to give him his rest. And he wasn't even saying goodbye. But he couldn't. If he did, he might not be able to leave, and he knew he needed to. He needed to get away from here - this place that gave him nightmares.
Watching out the office window Mick sees Hunter hesitate then head down the driveway. Sighing, he lets the blinds fall back into place. "Turn around, Hunter... just turn around..."
In the now-empty bunk, Hunter had left a little bit of money with a note of thanks to the people at the ranch. It was only right. Even if his nights had been murder, the days had been great and everybody had been more than nice.
It was their faces that flooded Hunter's mind as he sped down the highway. The scenery passed by in a blur. He shouldn't be driving at all, let alone going this fast, as tired as he was, but he just needed to make it back to Nevada and his own bed.
It should have taken him an hour to reach that first main intersection, but it only took him half that long. Pulling to a halt at the stop sign, he suddenly found it impossible to keep going. The thought of having just abandoned Katie made his chest ache. The thought of leaving behind such a wonderful place made him feel like a fool all over again. But this was right! This was what he needed to do! Things had gotten too overwhelming and it was therefore time to go home. It was that simple. Why then had he taken the easy way out, sneaking away without even so much as telling anybody?
A witch
Wrapping her arm around Hunter and leaning her head against his Katie lets out a small sigh. Not letting him fall asleep was bad for his health but how could Katie not honor his request. Cocking her head a little bit to look at him she takes note to the deep circles under his eyes and how dark they were. He needed sleep before his body gave him no option.
"Just rest, I'll make sure you don't feel to deep into a sleep."
Keeping her arm around Hunter and talking every once in a while Katie does as she said and makes sure he doesn't fall to far into sleep where he would dream but enough he could at least rest a little bit and try to feel better.
"Hunter...You mean a lot to me. I'm sorry if I seemed like a witch this morning."
Hearing that Alec was starting to be able to taste more things made Misty smile. She was happy that some things were starting to change for him and a little bit of the Agency was falling off behind him. Even if it was a small bit it was still something.
"That's really great Alec. There are so many things out there that you have yet to taste, and its good to know that slowly the Agency's curse is slipping away."
Taking another bit of her sub Misty closes her eyes for a second. And for that split second she was taken back to her and her brother along with a few of his friends around there kitchen table. There had been good times, there had been bad times, but Misty remembered the good ones the most. Laughing, eating, playing cards. Sometimes she missed those days when her brother was just that a brother.
Opening her eyes again Misty stops her mind before the water works came again. She'd lost so many people in her life, and it was mostly all to the Agency. Sometimes it just wasn't fare but seeing Alec with her here now Misty was happy at least he broke away.
7/28/12
Don't Let me
As Katie takes his hand, Hunter lets his fingers toy with hers absentmindedly. Her words struck a different kind of chord. What weight? What did he need to let go of? And what did it have to do with any of this?
Deep down, he knew. Deep down the truth was that he'd been in this battle for a long time - the battle between who he was and who he was pretending to be. Open wounds and healing. Right and wrong. Yet he didn't want to look at those things. It set an odd churn to his stomach and he'd decided long ago that thinking about any of it was pointless.
The thought of hurting himself brings to mind why he'd come here in the first place - an accident caused by his recklessness. He'd been guilt-ridden and sick of his own foolishness. Yet what had he done last night? Was it not just as foolish? So what did that say about him?
Straightening up, he leans his head back against the tree and closes his eyes, his thumb still running over Katie's fingers. Why things had suddenly gotten so difficult, he didn't know. He was exhausted, stressed and just wanted it to stop. One thing was for sure though - he was no more relaxed here now than he had been back in Nevada.
"I'll be fine," he eventually responds to Katie. She didn't want to lose him, but his options were dwindling and there was one thought from earlier that was still embedded in his mind - and it seemed the only solution.
Sighing, his body tries to relax. "Don't let me fall asleep," he mumbles.
Alec smirks a little before biting into his sub. Him keeping his opinion to himself probably was something Misty needn't worry about. Maybe he had a big mouth. But at least he knew Misty wouldn't get mad at him for speaking his mind.
"This is pretty good," he admits, surveying his sub. "I think I'm finally starting to taste more things again."
All of the tables and chairs were stacked in the middle of Mom and Pop's. A sign on the locked door read, "Closed. Reopening Soon." It shouldn't take more than a week. At least that's what Carson hoped. However, when he'd originally made plans, he didn't think he'd be doing this alone.
Sitting on the floor in his old jeans and t-shirt, he focuses on using the small paintbrush around the trim. The wall that had been white was being transformed to a brick red, while he had plans for the opposite wall to be a more gold color. The trim was going to go from brown to white... if Carson could keep his hand steady enough, that is.
Wiping some sweat from his brow, Carson relaxes, having reached the corner of the wall. Now was time to get out the pan and roller and fill in the rest of the wall. Somehow though, his motivation was waning already. After starting two hours ago, he was already tired.
Remaining on the floor, he leans back against the window and studies the room. Coming to work here and living in the back room because he could afford nothing else seemed a lifetime ago. How Herb had taken him under his wing... how the people here had been so supportive and encouraging when he'd been trying to make his life right. He'd messed up a lot too. Memories of Ashlyn flash through his mind. He'd really really messed up on that one. Then there had been Jess... they'd helped each other through their rough spots, for sure.
Carson's eyes continue to roam. He'd never dreamed he'd be handed over the restaurant. It was such an honor to know that he was caring for Herb's pride and joy, while at the same time, there were days he couldn't believe he was stuck in something like this without the thrill and freedom of the Elite every day. And yet... perhaps he needed to start thinking of himself as a business owner and operator instead of just a cook. He stayed in the kitchen because people liked his food. He'd never ever even toyed with the idea of cooking, and did not feel that he was talented in the least. But apparently he did something right, and he'd certainly learned a lot since working here. He could whip up some pretty mean recipes and it wasn't so unusual that on days off he'd cook for Misty at home... or he... used to.
Sighing, the scent of fresh paint is almost overwhelming, and Carson pulls himself to his feet. At least if he kept his hands busy with redecorating, his mind couldn't wander so much.
After turning up the rock music on the radio, he grabs a pan and pours in some red paint before wetting the roller. Goodbye white wall. Next, he'd have to figure out what kinds of decorations he'd want on the wall. Kitchen paraphernalia? Paintings? Photos? A thought strikes him and he pauses in his work. Maybe... yes, he'd make a mental note of that one. Might be hard getting anybody to help him, but it was worth a try.
7/27/12
Not ready
"Don't get me wrong, I was mad, disappointed and scared of what would of happened if I hadn't been there but...It just kind of melted away because I missed you the whole morning and part of the afternoon."
Giving a sidelong glance to Hunter Katie offers a small smile. She still wanted to be mad but couldn't figure out why she wasn't. All she new though was that now that Hunter was sitting here it confirmed that she wasn't mad at him.
Hearing his comment Katie lets out a little sigh before reaching over and taking Hunter's hand in her own. Running her fingers over the top of his hand she is just quiet for a long moment. She understood what he was going through and yet at the same time she didn't. In a way she wish she still had her powers to help Hunter but she didn't and it kind of made her feel helpless.
"You need to let go of everything Hunter. Let yourself be free, and stop carrying around all the weight you have been. I know its easy said than done but something has got to change before you hurt yourself or you do go crazy. And I'm not ready to lose you yet."
Hearing Alec and his comment about her and Jason having the hots for each other for a while Misty can't help the large laugh that slipped from her lips. It sounded funny when put that way but she liked Alec's honestly and his innocents in the whole thing. She needed the laugh too it really did make her feel good.
"I guess we have had the hots for a while and now...we get the chance to see what happens."
Cutting her sub in half and wondering over to the table with her glass of water Misty sits down comfortably. Saying a quick prayer she opens her eyes and takes a bit of the sub. It tasted so good she could hardly believe it. She had been craving this for a while now, or many not a while but thats what it felt like.
I don't know...
Letting out a slow sigh, Hunter eases down next to Katie, wishing her words didn't bother him. Pulling up his legs, he bends to rest his head on his knees, his face hidden. Yes.... he was tired. Very tired. Exhausted. Every day it got worse. Every day his lack of sleep affected him more.
What he couldn't figure out was why Katie wasn't mad at him. Funny though - thinking of putting her through the stress of if he got himself hurt was almost worse than getting yelled at. But what if he did go and get himself hurt? What if he did do something stupid? What if he did go out and drive drunk? Wasn't he allowed his own choices? His freedom? Wasn't he allowed to do whatever he pleased?
Guild gnawed at his gut again. If Katie was off doing stupid things, he wouldn't be happy either, because he cared. But ever since he started thinking of what others might think, or consequences, or anything like that.... ever since then, he'd been involved in a most cruel battle he just couldn't win. So what was the point? At least back in Nevada when he'd just looked out for himself, he wasn't playing tug-o-war with his conscience all the time. Was this really worth it?
Finally lifting his face, he legs his legs stretch out as another sigh surfaces. Leaning to the side, his head comes to rest on Katie's shoulder. "I'm losing my mind, Katie..." Is that what the nightmares were about? Was he just going mad? Was he destined to suddenly be plagued by these horrific images and never be rid of them, never to have another good night's sleep? "I don't know how much more I can take."
Remaining focused on building his sub, Alec just listens, not surprised by what he heard. Although he hadn't known how close Jason and Misty had been before. He wondered if it had been difficult for them seeing each other every day. Though Misty made it sound like they'd handled it pretty well.
Finished with his sub, he turns and just studies Misty, a little smile tugging at his mouth. "So basically you've both had the hots for each other and now that you have the chance... bam."
He had no doubt that love for Carson lingered in Misty's heart. She hadn't needed to explain... he'd heard her crying and he knew that this whole thing was not easy. Just because she found someone to date rather quickly did not mean she had wanted Carson gone or that she was glad he'd left. Alec understood.
Picking up his plate, he wanders to the table before going to the refrigerator and finding a can of pop. "Well... you could do a whole lot worse," he muses. Returning to the table, he sits down and shrugs. "Guess I never cared for Jason but... lately he hasn't seemed so bad." On the contrary, he and Jason had actually been getting along pretty well. "Not that you need my approval."
He manages a grin. "But what kind of brother-in-law would I be if I didn't have an opinion?"
Just tired
Hearing someone coming Katie looks to the side seeing Hunter. Giving a small little smile she was happy he deiced to come. At first since it had been a little bit with no reply and no sigh of him she wasn't so sure he would. But now he was here and she was happy.
Leaning her head against tree again Katie just sits till he gets a little closer. Once he was and hearing his words she picks her head up and looks up at him. Giving him a one over she shakes her head a little bit. Hunter looked tired, stressed, warn out, he looked like everything had just finally caught up to him.
"You look pretty sober to me now, you just look...tired."
Looking away again Katie pats the ground next to her hoping Hunter would sit down. Looking across the field at the horizon Katie remembered falling sleep here with Hunter. He'd been so comfortable, so soft to sleep it had come easy and he'd never complained about it. The thought put another smile on her lips.
"I just can't be mad at you. Even though I should be, I just can't. I care about you and you mean a great deal to me not just as a friend maybe something more too. I just...care what happens to you and I don't want to have to come visit you in a hospital too."
Busy making her sub Misty was having fun watching Alec and what combination he was using. Working on her own she tried to put something different together and not the same old same old. New things now and than were good it kept a meal intrusting and not dull.
Hearing Alec's question Misty turns his head to him a little and raises an eyebrow not behind able to help the smile that was on her face too. Was it that obvious? Misty didn't know but she did not that Alec was an observant person and if anyone was going to spot it, it would be him.
"Yes, we are dating now as of a few days ago."
Thinking about it to an outsider like Alec it might seem kind of quick for her to be dating someone else if they didn't know the history.
"Jase and I have....mmm....we've always had an attraction to each other for as long as I can remember. But we also had a respect for each other that life just didn't work out with us being together. I had Carson, and he had Katie. We both had people who loved, and wanted to be with even if there were sparks between us. So out feelings for each other were locked away and we only had a strong friendship."
Misty had no idea if she was explaining this right. She new Alec was smart though so maybe he could peace everything together and understand what she was saying even if the words came out wrong.
"So, now since we both lost the people we loved, it was like a wall had been broken and the feelings we had tucked away for some many years just came out. I think thats why it happened so fast because really we had liked each other for a log time coming. If it had been anyone else I don't think it would of happened this fast. Do I still miss Carson...you bet I do. Do I still cry myself to sleep...you should see my garbage can. But I can't do anything to change what happened so I have to more forward."
Drunken Company
As Misty leaves to go to the kitchen, Alec slowly pries himself from the couch to stand. His body ached, and he knew it wasn't from the work he was doing - it was just from stress. Looking at his palm, he studies the stitches and the wound that had been
itching all day. He hoped she'd agree to take the stitches out later.
Padding to the kitchen in his bare feet, he rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand in an attempt to make them feel better. Just waiting and watching for a few minutes until Misty has everything spread out on the counter, he joins her to build a sub.
Taking advantage of the array of food items, he really wasn't sure what he thought would taste good right now, but he'd just pile everything on and find out. As he lays some cheese on, he gives Misty a sidelong glance as she makes her own sub.
He had a question... and he was pretty sure he knew the answer... but he hadn't seen too much around here to prove it. It seemed to be pretty obvious anyway, but it would be nice to know for sure so he didn't say or do anything stupid.
"So, um..." He clears his throat. "You and Jason... You guys just hanging out all the time or... are you dating?"
Sitting on the top rail of the pasture fence, Hunter feels the buzz in his pocket. Retrieving his phone and seeing Katie's message, he sighs. He really didn't want to talk.
After finally recovering from being sick earlier, he'd taken a shower then had gone to find Sparky and help exercise some of the horses. It hadn't gone so well - he'd had trouble with a couple of the horses and though Sparky hadn't gotten mad, Hunter at least felt displeasure with his own performance. He hadn't had a bad day since he'd come - but today, everything seemed to be going wrong. Even when he'd tried to clean some stalls, he'd accidentally let one horse loose, then later had somehow lost control of the wheelbarrow and spilled manure all over the place. And on top of all that, eyes had been on him all day. No one asked him any questions - no one even treated him any differently. But they were watching him. Wondering. Hunter couldn't tell if Katie had told anybody what had happened or not. But it was obvious that they at least knew they'd shown up this morning from being somewhere else. What did they think of him? Did they think he and Katie had been up to no good? Did they think he'd been getting himself in trouble - which would be partially true?
All in all, running on adrenaline alone, with nerves shot to boot, Hunter found himself unable to do anything right and unable to stand the stares any longer. He'd retreated to the pasture instead of joining Eric to cut down some brush. And now... Katie wanted to see him.
Looking at his phone again, he weighs his option. He didn't want her to be mad at him. He felt stupid and guilty for earlier. He didn't want her to think less of him... but that would be nearly impossible. He knew good and well that his stunt had lost him some respect at least. Never before had that bothered him. Never before had he cared. And now... after being here for such a short while... couldn't he do what he wanted anymore? What was it about this place that made him feel guilty? He didn't like it, and he was starting to wonder if it was this place alone that was giving him nightmares. He loved it here during the days and he'd had a blast - more so. But the nights were terror and he hadn't had any problems until coming here. It was a conflict he didn't understand but maybe he didn't need to.
Finally sliding down off the fence, he pockets his phone and wanders in the direction of the tree. It takes a few minutes, but eventually he does come, approaching slowly.
Stopping just a couple feet away, he hooks his thumbs in his pockets and looks down at Katie wearily. "Your drunken company has arrived..."
Grew Heavy
Giving a smile and sitting a little straighter Misty gives a nod. She was happy that at least Alec was trying to eat even if he didn't feel like it. She was doing the same thing. It was strange being hungry but not being hungry. For the baby's sake and her own health she new she had too.
"Yep I sure did. I have some sub rolls, ham and turkey, provolone, and Swiss, tomatoes, lettuces, onions, and that whatever kind of dressing you would like. My brother use to make home made subs for us all the time. They were almost my favorite."
Standing and giving Alec's leg a pat Misty makes her way into the kitchen hoping he would follow and they could put the subs together. She new Alec and he might not want to do much but she also new he wouldn't want to be alone either.
"I've also got some cleaning items for your hand. If it's healed nicely we might be able to take the stitches out."
Seeing Tal's look Ryan couldn't help but grin again at him. She new what he was thinking but her brother was right there. The last thing she needed was to be razzed more by him. Eli already did that enough even if it really didn't bother her that much.
Turning her attachen back to the TV Ryan bits into her pizza and chews before grabbing another chicken wing. She was hungry and this just seemed to hit the spot. Though she watched the tv her mind was still somewhere else too It was on Alec's call. She hated how it bothered her and how she even cared. Life with Tal and her brother was good right now, and she felt content yet was there a little peace missing?
As the minute passed by and the pizza and chicken wings were devoured a few of each left sitting in the box. No one wanting to get up just yet. Her mind now going silent from the thoughts of Alec Ryan was cuddled on the couch leaning comfortable against Tal with his arm around her. Zidan curled up at her feet sleeping peacefully. These were the moments that took everything else away, the moments when Ryan's worrys melted, and rest seemed to come easy as her eyes grew heavy.
Working intently Katie didn't stops for much relaxation. If she even thought about stopping for the moment she would pass out. For right now she would just work it was keeping her mind off things anyways. Though at the same time she new she had to think through what went on and she had to work through it. Hunter was her good friend and the last thing she wanted was to rune what they had started.
Finally done with her work Katie wonders out to the tree where Hunter and herself had fallen asleep. Sitting down her plays with her phone in her hand for a long moment. She hadn't seen Hunter since they got back and she wasn't sure where he was.
Sitting by our tree, could use some company and would like to talk if your up to it.
Couldn't Remember
Alec blows his nose before settling his head back down in the pillow and just remaining quiet for several minutes. What Misty said made sense... gave him reason to keep going... and made him feel good, knowing she cared. He knew he needed to move on. It was just... going to take a while. "Thanks..."
Sighing deeply, he finally looks back up at Misty again. He really didn't want to eat, but he knew he should, and if he didn't, she'd make sure he had something anyway. "Did you say something about subs for supper?"
Watching Ryan and the puppy, Tal grins and shakes his head. He was glad to see her enjoying Zidan - it made him feel good to know that she was having fun with him and taking good care of him - whether that included spoiling or not.
Her comment about the eyes though immediately brings heat to his cheeks and he looks at his food. "Eh... nothing's irresistible if you don't want it to be." He gnaws on his chicken wing, getting off all the meat. Giving Ryan a sidelong glance, the corner of his mouth twitches. What he'd really like to do was push her back on the couch and give her a kiss for that comment... and his eyes said so.... but he refrained with Eli in the room.
Loud music makes him jump and he looks back to the tv where Eli had finally started the movie.
Having been listening intently, both men straighten and roll their eyes as Katie gives them no more information than what they'd started out with. Watching her walk away, Mick hauls off and whacks Sparky's arm.
"Hey!" Sparky rubs his arm. "What was that for?"
"I don't know... you just looked like you deserved it." Mick sighs and sets his hands on his hips. "Guess that's that, then."
Sparky smirks. "Yeah. Guess so. Think everything really is okay?"
"As okay as it needs to be. She'd tell us otherwise." Of that, Mick was confident. Katie wouldn't put personal feelings over safety.
In his bunkhouse, Hunter leans on the bathroom sink after having splashed some water on his face. Exhaustion was an understatement - especially after having spent the last ten minutes throwing up. He couldn't remember the last time that drinking had bothered him - let alone this much. His head was pounding and he wasn't so sure that his stomach was through yet. He'd drunk a whole lot more than this before without hardly a hangover the next day. What was his problem this morning? What was happening to him?
Looking himself in the mirror, the face he saw was pale with dark circles under his eyes. But it wasn't the drink that caused that - it was his sleeplessness. So tired... so utterly tired, yet he knew if he tried to sleep, he would just be attacked by the nightmare once more.
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