Feeling Grace's hand on his face, Jared can't help leaning into it a little and his eyes close. He felt so incredibly undeserving, it was overwhelming. How could someone like Grace find anything in him that she would want to befriend? It as something he simply couldn't understand.
Her hand resting on his sends a strange warmth up his arm and another tear escapes. Without realizing it, his fingers had curled around hers, almost like a little child, searching for comfort.
With eyes still closed, he shakes his head slowly. He didn't feel like getting out and going anywhere. "You go," he answers quietly.
Hunter gives Katie a silly grin before starting to laugh along with her. Slinging his arm around her shoulder, he leans over to give her forehead a kiss. "I don't know... I think this is kinda fun." He laughs again before reaching down to tickle her ribs, not caring if they made a scene or not. Despite the heartaches and troubles... every once in a while, there was a moment of sunshine, and this was one of them...
...During the next few days, things didn't change a whole lot. Hunter found himself alone for chunks of time, mostly because he wanted it. His request for some quiet time though, was handled a little better, and he avoided any misunderstandings with Katie like he'd had before. He loved her company, but he was still trying to sort through everything in his mind, and it wasn't easy. He often found himself out near the pastures or under "their" tree, just sitting and thinking things through. It was odd how his time here seemed to bring up the past in his mind. There were things he hadn't thought about in years that suddenly seemed to need rethinking. It was as if his near-death experience was making him reevaluate a lot of things - past and present. But what it all meant, he just wasn't sure...
...Hobbling down the barn aisle, a soft but high-pitched sound catches Hunter's ears and he pauses his route. He'd just come from sitting out by the pasture fence, left to his own devices while Katie and Jeff went on a leisurely father/daughter horseback ride. Listening, he hears the sound again. Approaching a short stack of hay bales, he cocks his head, following the sound around the hay until his eyes fall on a little black and white ball of fur.
Grinning, he sets one crutch aside before he reaches down and scoops the mewing kitten up with one hand, holding it closely to his chest. Tiny claws grip his shirt and the mews continue until the kitten feels safe in his hands, and loud purring starts instead. Hunter cradles her for a few minutes before taking another look around the stack of hay. He hadn't seen any other kittens or a mama cat, so where had this little one come from? "Where's your family, hmm?" he asks her softly. He's answered only with bright blue eyes that silently study his face while her purring motor continues. Searching the rest of the hay in the barn aisle wasn't easy with the fuzzball clinging to his chest, and he still comes up empty.
"Made a new friend?"
Hunter grins at Jim. "Looks that way. Found her in the hay but I can't find the rest of 'em anywhere. You seen a litter?"
"Yeah, down by the office, actually. That empty stall we've been storing straw in." Jim steps closer, reaching out to stroke the kitten's head with a finger. "Could be that Mama started moving her kids to a new place but got interrupted somehow."
"Maybe." Hunter wasn't convinced. The mother cat surely would have come back here sooner. "Guess I've got some more hunting to do."
Jim chuckles. "Good luck."
"Mm thanks." A thorough search of the barn only brings more doubt to Hunter's mind that there was a happy story here. Out back behind the barn, it looked as though a different kitten had met its sad fate in the pasture. Now Hunter began wondering if perhaps Mama herself had not been able to make it back to the barn, leaving the kittens to fend for themselves. An hour later, it was obvious that the tiny critter still nestled against Hunter's chest was the only one left...
...Sitting just outside the barn in the grass, Hunter soaks in the sunshine while a happy kitten with a full tummy sleeps in his lap. At Jim's suggestion, Hunter had asked someone in the kitchen for a small dish, some milk and a little bit of bread. The kitten had been hungry enough to eat, and it didn't take long for the exhausted ball of fur to fall asleep.
Leaning his head back against the barn, Hunter's finger absentmindedly strokes the kitten's head. His mind was far away though. Even though he hadn't talked about it to anybody - even Katie - thoughts of his accident still plagued his mind, bringing him no answers or conclusions. It was frustrating, and he didn't like the strange emptiness he felt deep down. Every day here he loved it more, and yet...
"Well now... looks like Katie better come back quick."
Hunter looks up at Mick, squinting in the sunlight. "And why's that?"
"She might think she's been replaced by your new buddy there."
Hunter grins. "I'd hardly say Katie's been replaced, but it does seem as though I've got a new buddy."
Chuckling, Mick eases down next to him, taking off his hat and running a hand through his sweaty hair. "Jim said you'd rescued her."
"Yeah..." Hunter shrugs. "Guess I just got a soft spot for orphans."
"Mm." Mick reaches over to scratch the tiny furry head. "You're not an orphan, are you?"
"Naw." Hunter forces a short laugh. "Not technically."
Mick lifts one eyebrow. "But...?"
Hunter smirks. "Oh, I guess I'm as close to an orphan as you can get with still having both parents alive - at least last I heard they were."
"Ah, I see. Not a good relationship?"
"Hardly." That unwanted churn was back in Hunter's stomach again.
Letting a pause linger, Mick wonders about this young man's past. "Well, I guess I know how the other end of a bad relationship works." He sighs, thinking about Dylan. "It's not fun."
Confused, Hunter turns his head to look at him. "You got more kids than those who are here?"
"No... no, it's just Dylan, Jade, and of course BJ. Dylan and I though..." He shakes his head. "If we have a conversation lasting more than ten words, we're doing well."
"Oh." Hunter furrows his brow. "But he lives here..."
"Yeah, he does. He left not all that long ago. We had quite a fight and he took off. Came back though. I suppose things have gotten a little better but... well, like I said, I guess I know how it feels being the father in a bad relationship."
Hunter found himself even more curious now. He didn't want to be nosy, but something drove him to ask more questions. "How long was he gone?"
"Hmm... a few weeks? Ended up he had Dan bring him home. I wasn't so sure I'd see him again, but sure was glad when he came back."
"Wait, so you mean he left and you let him come back?"
Mick's eyebrows rise. "Of course I did. He's my son."
"Yeah but... he chose to leave. And you just... let him come back?"
"Well sure. Why wouldn't I?" When Mick doesn't receive a response, he opts to be a little more bold. "Was it like that with you and your dad?"
Hunter's eyes snap up to Mick's. He never talked about his past. With anyone. Not even Katie. Not even Kyle. But something about Mick felt safe. Something stirs within Hunter to answer the question. "Only partly," he admits. "We had a fight but... I didn't go home."
"Ah. I see."
Hunter drops his gaze to look at the sleeping kitten. Why all of a sudden he felt like talking about this, he had no idea. It wasn't his norm, for sure, but... he almost felt he owed Mick an explanation. "I was seventeen."
Mick purses his lips. "Mm. Dylan's age."
"Yeah. My dad wasn't abusive, but he was... tough, I guess. I don't remember too many good times with him, like father/son stuff. Mostly it was him and his work, and me doing my own thing and we'd see each other at supper. Nothing bad, but nothing great either. Then one time there was this party I wasn't supposed to go to, but... I went anyway." Hunter remembered it as if it were yesterday. "There was lots of drinking and drug use going on. I didn't do either, but I was there when the cops showed up."
Mick cringes. "Ouch."
"Yep. That was the first blemish on my record. Well, needless to say, when Dad came to bail me out, he wasn't happy. He didn't even speak to me all the way home. Once we got there though..."
"All hell broke loose?"
"Yeah pretty much. Even though I hadn't actually been involved with the bad stuff, he was appalled that I'd been there at all, and he was going to do everything save not letting me go to school anymore." Hunter rolls his eyes. "We were both angry and shouting and I was dumb and swore at him. Next thing I knew, I'd been slapped across the mouth - hard."
Mick's fingers toy with the brim of his hat while he listens. That sounded all too familiar. He still regretted ever having struck Dylan, and most assuredly it had helped nothing.
Hunter continues. "I guess that was the last straw for me. I was more angry than I'd ever been before. Stomped inside the house, grabbed my backpack and a few clothes and walked out again. Went to a friend's house." Actually, it had been Kyle's house. A lump rises in Hunter's throat. "Stayed with them about a week until I'd cooled off and I realized I wanted to go back home. So I called and... I was told I... I wasn't... wasn't welcome anymore." Struggling to maintain control of his emotions, Hunter almost laughs, embarrassed. "Wow... I guess that still gets to me."
By now, Mick's eyes were staring at him with compassion. "Well sure it does. Nobody's father should turn them away like that."
"Well mine did." Hunter shrugs lamely, bypassing the sudden pain in his heart. "My mom got me some of my stuff out of my bedroom and left it on my friend's porch for me, but that was it. I saw her a couple times after that, and... never did see or speak to my father again."
"Even after all these years?"
Hunter shakes his head. "Guess I always figured if he didn't love me then, he wouldn't now, ya know? I just... moved on."
Mick frowns, sorry to hear about such a tragedy. It wasn't that others hadn't suffered worse in their lives, but to have your own father reject you like that... it was terrible. Things about Hunter were falling into place now though, such as why he liked it here so much. "Did you?"
Hunter's eyes move up again before narrowing in question. Of course he'd moved on. He'd forgotten, gotten his own life and left his old life with his parents behind. But what about deep down? What about in his soul? Had he ever really moved on? Was that what Mick was asking? He finally looks back down at the kitten. "I thought so. Then I came here."
"You don't like it here?"
"No, I love it here," Hunter clarifies. "Too much maybe. I've... I never had a close family, then no family at all since I've been older. Seeing how everybody functions here... how they love each other... get along... work alongside each other... it's... well, I guess I'm jealous."
"I can understand that." Mick nods slowly. "This place is a haven for a lot of people, and we work hard to be a loving family. That's not to say we don't have our problems." He chuckles. "We've had our fair share of differences. But... we've always come back and forgiven. We're close-knit, rare or not."
Hunter looks down as the kitten stirs and stretches. "Maybe I really have felt like an orphan all these years," he muses quietly.
Mick knew that was probably true, and he felt badly. It really was a shame. "Most of us here - my generation - grew up in orphanages," he explains. "So I guess in a way, maybe I know a little how you feel. Things get screwed up... not how we want or plan..."
Hunter cuddles the now-awake kitten, keeping her in his lap. "Aren't you ever bitter about it?"
Mick shakes his head. "Not anymore."
"How?"
"I guess at some point, we've all learned to live for the good we have. Look for the brighter days and stop looking back. We've learned to let go."
Let go. Hunter's pulse automatically quickens as he recalls the voice in the river. Let go. Let go of what? His past?
"Well, I better get back to work." Mick slaps his hat back on his head and rises with just a little trouble, brushing off his jeans. "Take care of that little critter now."
Hunter manages a smile and nod. "I will." Left alone once more, his churning emotions return. He could hardly believe he'd told Mick about him and his father, but... in a strange sort of way... it almost felt... good. Maybe... maybe he wasn't so alone after all. And for the first time, he felt nearer an answer to what had happened in that cold river. He didn't know why, but... it was connected... somehow.
Jeff gives Hawk his head as they amble down the wooded path. It was an easy trail - wide and smooth. Though Jeff's spirit wanted to take off and race across the fields, he knew he shouldn't. It was just as well though... spending time with Katie was a perk of taking it easy and... he knew that she couldn't stay forever.
Glancing to the side at his daughter, he just studies her for several minutes as the horses walk. She seemed happier now than when she'd arrived a month or so ago. But he wasn't sure if she'd worked through what she'd came here for or not. He really couldn't tell. Usually he could read her, but this time... this time, it was more difficult. Perhaps Hunter's presence had something to do with that. The man seemed to have swept Katie off her feet, and Jeff was glad to see her smiling again. But just because she smiled, he didn't know if that meant deep down she had worked through her emotions or not. A month had passed though, and perhaps with time, she'd been able to feel again... to read her own emotions again... and to recover from the loss of her connection - and relationship - with Jason. Jeff could only hope it was so. The thing he wanted most was to see his daughter happy.
Straightening out his reins, he sighs deeply. "I expect you'll be needing to get back to Nevada soon, huh?"
