Creepy

Justin's shoulders sank a little bit as he heard about Tal. It was unfortunate - especially the timing, and he felt badly for Ryan. Life wasn't supposed to be fair, but the poor woman couldn't catch a break. "I'm sorry to hear about that. I can't speak for Tal, and I don't know what he's like, but I can imagine he didn't want to hurt you. More than likely he's got just as tough a time figuring out how he feels as you do."

He paused in thought, rerouting his process as he gained new insights. "No one is really at fault here. But you do have to understand that you more than cared about Alec. Speaking from a guy who has a girl, it's great if she cares about other guys. But if I knew she loved someone else...deeply...I'm not sure I'd act much differently than Tal." He kept his voice gentle, just letting Ryan think through what he was saying. "It's not your fault, and you can't take the blame for Tal's actions. But at the same time, you're going to need to understand his side and... eventually let it go, if he's not going to come back."

He set his notepad aside and folded his hands, leaning his arms on the table. "Letting go is one of the hardest things we, as humans, do. Whether it's letting go of a boyfriend like Tal, letting go of feelings...or letting go of someone who has died. When we let go of anything, we're letting go a small piece of ourselves, and that leaves a hole that hurts - sometimes for a long time. But if we hang on to things we shouldn't, they sit there, inside, and weigh us down. They are burdens we shouldn't have to carry around. And...sometimes if we don't let them go, we can't make enough room for new joy to enter our lives."

Justin grabbed his notepad and tore a piece of lined paper out before writing. He drew two columns, one at the top said "Keep" and one said "Let Go." He slid it over to Ryan. "Over the next few weeks, I want you to start filling this out. It's just for you, unless you want to show me, but it's as private as you want it to be - I know deep down you have the right answers. As you use your journal and figure out what you're feeling, I want you to write down here the feelings you don't like - the feelings you want to let go. Write down the things or people you think you need to let go as well, even if it would be hard to do so. Then over here," he pointed to the other column, "I want you to write the good stuff. The feelings you want to keep because they make you feel good. The things and people you want to keep because they encourage you or bring you joy. Then, once you think you've got a pretty good list, I'll tell you want to do with it after that."

Another warm smile surfaced as he tried to encourage her. Just her being here, willing to talk at all - no matter how awkward - was a step in the right direction. "I think it would be a good idea for you to at least try going back to work in the next couple days as well. It won't be easy, but try to get back into a normal routine again so where you're at now doesn't become a rut, okay? And..."

He pulled out his phone to check his schedule. "How about we meet again on Saturday?" They hadn't met today for long at all, but he preferred it that way with Ryan, at least for now, to avoid any unnecessary boredom or frustration. "But you get to pick the location this time. We can meet over lunch, go to your place, go for a walk...pick somewhere that makes you comfortable... as long as it's not that little clown museum downtown. Creepy."


Garret was stretched out on his cot when Nate came to get him - he'd almost wondered if Nate really had been serious. Seeing he was though, it was hard to hide his relief...especially when they reached the outdoors. Fresh air. Sunshine. That alone helped his mood. 

He kept quiet on the drive though, just studying the passing scenery. He'd been across town himself but just that once to find Carson. Would he get to know these streets? Would he be allowed to stay? To call this home? What was home, really, anyway? 

Once at the house, he found it bigger than expected, but didn't know it was split on the inside, shared by Nate's family and Rick and his wife. 

Outside again, Garret just took in his surroundings before looking to Nate for his cue what to do next. This...a domestic task...was not something he was used to, and if he was honest, it was rather uncomfortable. But it was worth it to get out of the Elite building. "Nice place..."

Inside, Laura peeked through the blinds as she heard the car pull up. She'd already left Brian in Janet's capable hands, along with Maggie, just as a precaution. She didn't know if Nate was going to bring Garret inside or not, but though leery, she trusted Nate's judgement.


Eric didn't know what to say to Rosetta, but the gratefulness shone in his eyes. "That...that would be nice." He swallowed hard, trying to keep a handle on his emotions. He wished he had answers. He wishes he had a better setup that he didn't need so much help from the others... But no matter what, they always came through.

"Thank you."

"Everyone else has built on," Mick added, trying to make Eric feel a lute better. "Why not you? Shouldn't be hard if we all pitch in."

Eric nodded lamely. What else could he say? "I hadn't even thought of all the stuff the girls will need," he admitted. "Guess it's a good things there have been so many babies around here."

Mick laughed. "Hadn't thought of it that way, but you're right."

Eric managed a crooked grin. "And I'm...prolly gonna need some pointers...about...an awful lot of things.

Ready?

Nate couldn't help the small chuckle at Garret's comment about disarming a bomb. He wasn't sure sure if they would be easier or not since he wasn't one hundred percent sure what he was doing himself. But at least it was something to do.

   "How about we leave in a half hour? I should be done with most of my work by than."

Turning back to his work Nate quickly finished up what he was doing before pulling out his cell phone and calling home.

   "Hey Babe, I just wanted to give you a heads up I'm heading out of work early to work on the sprinkler system finally. I'm going to bring Garret with me to help for an hour or so. I figured him getting out would do some good."

After getting off the phone Nate continued with his work. Before he new it a half hour had passed and Nate was making his way to Garrets room. Giving a knock on the door he steps inside.

   "Hey you ready?"

Continuing to look down Ryan shifted on the bench and brought her legs up to cross them. It was slightly uncomfortable since the seat was narrow but she'd gotten tired of having them down. Replaying everything that had happened with Tal again in her head Ryan let out a sigh. This was going to be an even harder topic to talk about.

   "I dont know if he is anymore or not. He was pretty hurt that I still cared about Alec, and didn't understand why I was seeing him, and thinks our whole relationship was a fake when it wasn't. I really did care about him, and I liked spending time with him. He and Eli got in a fight and I heard a lot of the things he said."

Taking a deep breath Ryan finally looks up and squints in the sunlight. Everything that had happened with her and Tal really did hurt. She kind of understood where is was coming from and than at the same time she just wished he had been given a chance to explain, or they could of sat down and talked about it.

   "I haven't seen him since. I just wish we could of talked about it. but there is no point now. To many things have been said that cant be unsaid."

Quiet Rosetta just took in everything Eric and Mick were talking about while the wheels in her own head turned. She new her brother was freaking out, and she did understand how that felt. When BJ had come to live with them it was quite the change and it was a fast adjustment. But it had happened and now she couldn't imagen life without him there.

As Eric asks her if she had any ideas Rosetta shifted a little take a sip of her tea. Looking at her brother he might be able to tell the wheels were in fact moving, her eyes twinkled slightly. She always loved helping family and making plans come together.

   "Well, we do still have a bunch of wood left over from when Clint and Wendy built there house. That would make some good material to add an addition to your bunk, so at least that would be enough till something better could be built for you."

Standing Rosetta takes her now empty cup to the sink before coming back and sitting down again. Looking to Mick and than back at Eric she smiles.

   "You are my brother and I will help all I can even if you dont like it. I have some stuff left from when BJ was younger and I think maybe Wes and Cindy might have some left over stuff as well they wouldn't mind handing down to you. I know its not the best but at least its a start for now. What do you think?"