Can I?

As Ryan stands, so does Alec. Searching her face, he sees some discomfort, and suddenly realizes that it was probably his fault. He'd just wanted to see her so much that he hadn't thought about it making her uncomfortable. Feeling badly, he bites his lip. "Yeah... yeah, I couldn't very well see you without saying hi. Thanks for letting me sit and talk." 

Pausing, he clears his throat. "I, um... I hope I didn't ruin your lunch or anything. I'm... I'm sorry for... um..." He gives her a rueful grin and shrugs, knowing that any more apologies were pointless. Nothing he said would change anything. "Take care of yourself, Ry... I guess I'll see you around." 

Jared's grin widens a little, humor dancing in his eyes as his shoulder nudges Grace's. "Mmm... yeah, if it tastes good, that's just a bonus..." 

Having spoken without thinking first, he looks quickly back to the photo album and clears his throat. "So, um, yeah... Florida..." He turns a page. "And this was my ninth birthday." He points to one of the pictures. "The hats were not my idea, if I remember correctly. Hence, my scowl."

Daring a sidelong glance at Grace, his sight drifts slowly to her lips then back up to her eyes. "I... never did like party hats."

Fiddling with the album page, he looks back at it again, staring at the faces that seemed so familiar yet so far away in time. He had forgotten what his father looked like. Or the fun times he'd had as a child.

Carson slowly opens his eyes, feeling as though he were in some kind of strange, thick fog. It took him several minutes just to awaken completely, and then several more to figure out just where he was. Looking at the clock on the wall, he figures out that he had been asleep for at least five hours. It was mid afternoon already and he didn't remember waking up at all since falling asleep to whatever it was Rick had given him. He did feel... a little better. Still a bit woozy and his headache was still there, but not quite as bad. He did feel a bit rested now though, so that was an improvement. 

Sitting up, he swings his legs over the side of the bed and yawns. His body begs him to lie back down and sleep some more - it had been deprived of too much lately. But he didn't want to sleep any more. He just wanted to get up and stretch and see if he could leave. 

Looking down at his arm, he sees he's still hooked up to the IV, which he notes is almost empty. First or second bag, he didn't know. Removing the tape and pulling out the IV himself, he stands, taking a second or two to make sure he has enough stability to walk. His legs were rather stiff and shaky, but he didn't fear falling over like he had earlier. Now... where was Rick? 

Trudging out to the hall, he squints in the bright lights, still sleepy. He didn't see anybody - either it was a really busy day and everybody was in their offices or out on the job, or it was a quiet day. Yawning again, he runs a hand through his matted hair and aims for the infirmary. Maybe if he could convince Rick he was okay now, he could go home instead of having to stay here for several days. 

Reaching the open door, he glances around, not finding Rick, but seeing Misty instead. In his own drowsy state, he hadn't even thought of that. And catching sight of her now made his heart lurch. Her rejection came flooding back to him, as does the pain.

Leaning on the doorframe, he waits until she sees him before speaking quietly. "Can I come in?" 

Hearing someone at the door, Jaz bristles. By now, she'd moved to the couch where half a tissue box was gone already. Who was here now? Rick had already called about Carson's condition. Nobody should be here. Was it the Agency? 

Gathering up her wits, she rises and comes cautiously to the door, picking up her handgun on the way. Now was not the time for risks. Stepping quietly, she comes close enough to peer through the peephole. Nate? Why was he here again? Was something wrong? At least she felt a bit of relief now, even if she was confused. 

Setting the gun aside, she unlocks the door and opens it. Her eyes were red, her hair a bit messy and she was visibly stressed. "What... are you doing here? Is everything with Carson okay?" 

Fuzzy

Hearing Alec's comment about being with the better man Ryan rolls her eyes. Why did he had to go and say things like that? In a way she kind of found it irritating she never understood why people said that. Letting out a sigh she shakes her head before looking down at he food.

   "Yeah, maybe. I don't know if it's how it was meant to be, but it is how it happened."

Suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable Ryan fiddles with her plate before putting her napkin on top of everything else. She was done now and really didn't want anymore. Maybe she was full or it was just the uncomfortable atmosphere she wasn't sure. Maybe it was a little guilt she was sitting here with her Ex even if it was nice talking to him a little.

   "Well I guess I should head back to work before they think I was kidnapped or something."

Standing and throwing her coat back on Ryan gives a small smile to Alec catching his eye for a moment and getting lost in there deepth. That had always been her one weekness with him, his eyes.

   "It was nice chatting with you again. Thanks for stopping to say Hi."

Nodding about the pictures Grace was very intent on listing. She really enjoyed  looking through the pictures and hearing about them.  She was getting to know Jared a little deeper through the pictures and she liked it.

   "Mmmm...I've never been a fan of flying myself. If I have to I will but if I can drive I'd rather do that."

Looking at Jared and than looking cross eyed as he whipped the marshmallow from her lips Grace can't help but laugh a little. Seeing a twinkle in his eyes was reassuring, and nice. He had a nice smile even if it was just with his eyes. They lit up, and it was something he should do more often.

   "At least its a sweet mustache and not a fuzzy ticklish one?"

Misty gives a little lame nod at Rick. At least from what Reese could tell whatever had happened to Carson would not kill him. That was a re leaf and Misty was glad about that. Though the one thing she didn't care for was how close Carson was and that the possibility he might try to come see her.

Once Rick was gone again Misty lets out a sigh. There really wasn't much more she could do but let things lie. Maybe tonight she'd let Jason know when she went to his place for dinner. Till Carson tried to see her or something she would just let it go and try not to worry. She'd been stressed enough the last few days. No matter though her hearing was heightened a little making sure any noise would catch her attachen.

Getting out of the car Nate looks at the apartment building for a long time. Only being here once earlier today he had no idea if he was at the right one or not. His reason for coming back was Jaz. He's seen how shaken she had looked earlier today and he couldn't help but feel bad for her and wanting to make sure she was ok. He really hadn't told anyone where he was going knowing they might not approve but it was just something he had to do and now he hoped this was the right place.

Knocking on the door Nate waits not sure if she'd even answer. But he hoped she would and would remember him. He didn't want to make things worse or startle her. Playing with his keys he couldn't help but be slightly nervous himself.


  

Spoiled

Rick pauses his work to give Misty a look of reassurance. He knew this wasn't easy for her. "I'm not sure yet what's wrong. He collapsed a while ago - blacked out. I'm just trying to rule out anything like a stroke or heart problem, but my gut says he had a hefty anxiety attack. I don't think he's been taking very good care of himself." 

Sighing, he stops a moment with his arms full before aiming for the door and looking over his shoulder. "I'm not sure how long he'll be here. I expect a day or two. If I can accomplish that with the stubborn Aussie, I'll be doing well."

Giving her a little nod, he finally leaves and goes to the spare room. Upon entering, he's a little surprised to see Carson already lying down. He really must not be feeling well. "Alright, Carson... lets have a looksee." Setting down some of the items he'd brought, he glances at Nate. "I think I'm good for now. Thank you for your help."

...It would take a while, and several trips back and forth to the infirmary, but in the end, Rick had his diagnosis, along with a sleeping patient. Returning to his desk in the infirmary, he sits down and sighs wearily. "Well..." He looks to Misty knowing that even if this was upsetting, that she'd probably want to know what was going on. "He's dehydrated and a bit malnourished. I've got him on an IV for a while. From what I can tell, it was an anxiety attack like I thought. His blood pressure is through the roof - I'm pretty sure it's just from stress. I gave him something to help him sleep - or rather, make him sleep since he didn't want to stay." He gives her a wry grin. "You know how he loves needles. But... he's out for a while. I'll go check on him again in an hour or so." 

Alec listens quietly, enjoying hearing about Ryan's racing and that she was doing well. Just hearing her voice was like a warm summer breeze, wrapping him in a strange sort of comfort. He had missed that voice. That smile. Those eyes. Everything. 

As she speaks of Tal though his eyes drop back down to his coffee. Oh yes. Tal. For such a very short moment, he had almost forgotten that Ryan had love in her life. Love for another man. And deep down, the pain returns. 

Forcing himself to look up again though, he gives her a small smile. "I'm... really glad that he's doing well. There's a lot of things I deeply regret and... hurting him is one of them." He swallows hard. "I'm glad you're happy though... you deserve it." No matter how much it hurt, he really was glad she had someone to love and love her back. 

"Maybe it was supposed to be this way, huh?" He manages to hold his smile, even if it was a bit crooked. "I guess in the end, you... wound up with the better man."

Taking a deep breath, he nods and takes another swallow of his hot coffee. Yes... Tal was the better man. And Ryan was better off. Setting his cup down again, he lifts his eyes once more, unable to help but take another look at her sparkling gaze. "I don't think I could ever find somebody else though," he admits quietly. "You spoiled me by being the best, and... my heart just refuses to forget." 

Jared can't help a light chuckle at the pictures. "Mmm, I think that was a trip to Florida. I remember it 'cause it was the first time I'd been on a plane. Justin was fine... I was the one with the barf bag." He rolls his eyes. "After that I hated flying. Had a good  time while in Florida though." 

Glancing to the side and seeing Grace's mouth needed to be wiped, a grin emerges. Taking his thumb, he reaches over and wipes around her lips. "I have to say that I've never really gone for women with mustaches..." 

Mellow lips

Coming back into the rooms with the cups of coco Grace sets one down on the nightstand and the other down on the other side. Seeing he had a place for her Grace can't help but smile as she sits down next to him and sinks into the bed a little bit getting comfortable. 

Taking the book from Jared Grace smile looking at him and than back at the book. Seeing the pictures, smiling faces looked back at her. She couldn't help but laugh a little at some of them. Pointing to one of the groups of pictures Grace smiles.

   "Do you remember where these were taken? It looks really nice where ever it is."

Picking up her cup of coco and holding it in her hands she takes a small sip before pulling it away and a little marshmallow white ring was left around her lips. Completely unaware that it was even there.

Watching Alec as he talks Ryan was intrusted in what he had to say, maybe she wanted to form a friendship even though she could feel something deep in the pit of her stomach. There were feelings there still, there were raging emotions thats she so despritly wanted to push away. She loved Tal, had formed something special with him and these feelings for Alec, she wished the would just disappear.

   "Thats very nice of Misty to help you out like she has. She's a very nice lady."

Looking down at her plate and taking another fry she runs it through the ketchup and vinegar before lifting it up and taking a bite. She wondered how much Alec had changed, he seemed to be starting new, but was it an act a cover up? Could someone who had beat someone she loved within an inch of his life really change that much? Ryan wasn't so sure and she was leery.

   "For me...things are good right now. I've been on an up lately since one of the new racers has been out of town or so I am told. Hunter is his name I think...he gives me a run for my money but I like that. It's nice to have a challenge and not win all the time."

Taking her burger she takes a bite chewing it and thinking about what she was going to say next. It was very odd sitting here and maybe not so smart. It was hard talking, looking at Alec and trying to get past all he had done. Her emotions she didn't understand them and they hurt so much, why did it have too?

   "Tal and I are doing well too. He's really sweet and is making a great recovery. Still trying to get on his own feet but slowly he's making it."

Hearing the door open again Misty looks up from her desk. Watching Rick she can feel her heart start beating again quite fast. She still didn't know what was going on, hearing though that Carson would be only a room away made her nerves go up slightly. She wasn't sure how she felt about having him around. She didn't want anything to happen to him but she wasn't sure if she felt comfortable either.

   "Whats wrong with him? Is he going to be ok?"

Misty couldn't help but ask. She did want to know if he would be ok or not. She didn't know anything but something was wrong with him.

   "How long do you think he's going to be around?"

People believe in me...

Jared wishes there was something more he could do for Grace, but he knew she was right. There really would be no way he could ever repay her. 

At the mention of cocoa, a wry grin emerges. "You kidding? My mom has everything." He thinks a moment and shrugs. "I guess that does sound kinda good..." 

...Lydia was more than happy to let Grace make some cocoa, insisting on marshmallows as well. And by the time Grace returns to the bedroom, Jared is sitting up a little straighter, having moved off to one side. And in his lap was a photo album. 

Nodding for Grace to sit next to him in the space he'd made, he accepts the mug of cocoa before moving the photo album into her lap instead. "Mom gave this to me to look at the other day... I figured..." He shrugs. "After all my ranting and blubbering, you might be interested." 

The album was full of photos from Jared and Justin's childhood, from birthdays, family vacations, holidays and more. Their father was included in the photos as well, until later on in the album. 


A small but genuine smile spreads on Alec's lips as he eases down across from Ryan. She had every right to tell him to beat it, but she hadn't. And she even wondered how he was and had liked the flowers - it was certainly a whole lot more than he'd anticipated, and he wasn't going to miss this chance to spend some time with her, even if it was only a few minutes. 

"I'm glad you liked them..." His smile remains until he lowers his eyes to pop open the lid on his coffee and take a sip. Her question hadn't gone unheard though. 

"Things are going alright." He nods then looks back up at her again, his eyes finding hers and just staring at them for several moments. "Still looking for a job. You know how that goes for a guy with a record like mine." He gives a little scoff and shrugs. "I figure somebody's bound to accept me eventually. In the meantime, Misty's still letting me stay with her and she's got me fixing up a shed out back so I can have my own space."

He purses his lips and nods thoughtfully. "Getting my feet under myself has... probably never been harder," he admits. "But having a couple people believe in me has helped." 

He just wanted her to know he was different. He'd changed. He was trying to get his life back. He wanted to share with her. Let her know he was really making an effort. Not that it would matter though... 

His eyes finally drop again and he takes another sip of his coffee. "What about you?" His gaze rises once more and a lump rises in his throat as he reminds his hand that it was not allowed to reach over and touch hers. "How are things?"


Watching the men leave, Jaz leans on the open door for several minutes until they were out of sight. Closing it again, she locks the deadbolt and takes in a deep breath. There was a side of her that was Agency... she had learned to be tough as nails - tough enough to kill, cheat, lie, steal... whatever was needed to get the job done. But since then, she had set aside those ways... and her sensitivity as a human being - as a woman - had returned. And right now, she did not feel like a strong Agency villain... she felt like a weak and frightened woman. 

Returning to the kitchen, she sits down in one of the chairs before burying her face in her hands and letting the sobs come out. She'd thought she'd escaped the Agency. She'd had her own life. And now it was all gone, all over again. And she was scared. She was scared for her life, or worse, scared they would take her back. 


Carson responds to Nate with half a laugh. "I have a feeling you might have enjoyed knocking me out." 

Making it to the car, he gets in the back seat. Feeling even worse now that he'd been up and walking, he leans over to lie down for the short ride to TJY. Rick keeps a close eye on him, but just lets him be for now. 

Back at TJY, Rick leads the way inside, while Carson still needs Nate's support to walk, his dizziness still very present and his legs still too wobbly to stand. Pointing down the hall, Rick motions to the spare room beside the infirmary. He'd rather use the infirmary itself, but he didn't want to put Misty through that. "Go in there and lie down, Carson," he directs. "Nate, make sure he does it, will you? I've gotta grab some stuff and I'll be right in." 

Carson has enough energy to smirk, but not enough to fight, so he lets Nate take him to the room. Without complaint, he eases down on the bed, closing his eyes to try and stop the dizziness and pounding. Whether he knew it or not, him not putting up a fight in itself was a clue that something was wrong. 

Rick walks into the infirmary and quickly starts to gather some things he needs, throwing Misty a quick glance. He wasn't even sure if she wanted to know what was going on though, so he refrains from explaining. "I'll be in and out," he mentions. "Carson will be in the next room for a while, if I can keep him there."