8/30/14

Slap Him

Standing by the window Bree just looked out it. She didn't know where Gunner was, if he was ok or not, She didn't know anything. She'd left him at least 25 if not more voice mails pleading him to call her, or just text and say he was ok. At this points she'd take anything at all just to stop the worry.

Hearing her Uncles voice Bree turns around and wraps her arms around herself. She had hoped that there had been new yet there was no surprise there wasn't. Walking away from the window and sinking down on the couch she lets out a long sigh.

   "I wish I'd just know where he was and know he was ok or something. How could he do this to us? Doesn't he know we would be worried sick?"

She hadn't slept, hardly eat anything, and didn't go to work. Gunner was her life, he meant everything to her and without him she felt lost. She could only pray he was ok, and soon he'd show himself.

   "Good thing hes not here, I'd slap him."

   "It wasn't just you J. I did lots of things wrong too."

Feeling Jason's hand on top of hers for a second it took Katie back but she didn't pull her hand away. The warm feeling was nice. It had been a long time since she'd felt that warmth and thought she could never explain it, it was different than any other touch it was Jason's touch, and though they might be romantically involved anymore but there was still warmth.

Once Jason lets go of her hand Katie gives a smile to him before finally looking down at her cup. Jason was never at good saying he was sorry so maybe this was his way. It was straight to the point with no words at all but fill with much meaning.

   "I'm almost one hundred percent sure she will forgive you, just like I have. It's in our blood and our hearts to not hold on to anything for to long."

Thinking about Clint's words Ashlee fiddles with a wrench on the table. She wasn't surprised he'd figured out what was going on. And his words told that he was indeed smart. She let what he said sink in, and it did make sense. But still it seemed easier said than done to let go of the fear. But maybe she could at least try.

   "I'm going to get going, maybe try to eat a little. Thanks Clint."

Setting the wrench down Ashlee turns and heads for the door. Stopping once there she turns and looks back at Clint for a moment. With a small smile she speaks softly.

   "Hey Clint..? You don't stay away to long either ok? Life is to short after all."

Disappearing through through the door Ashlee makes her way to the mess hall. Once getting there she peeks though the window a moment. Seeing her mom laugh makes her smile a little too. She liked seeing her mom laugh. If her mom trusted Eric with her heart, than why couldn't see. Maybe it was the still lingering question of why He had to leave again if he was so happy.

Finally stepping away from the window Ashlee enters, and walks over to the table with her mom and Eric. Her limbs in her belt look she looks between them both before questioning.

   "Can I sit here too if its not to late?"

8/26/14

Missing

JT's heart hurt as he watched his friend in so much pain. He couldn't imagine the nightmare Gunner must be going through, and only wanted to help. But he didn't know how.

Grateful for Hope's intervention, he stood back and remained quiet. It felt like waiting for a volcano to erupt...and just as unmanageable.

Gunner could feel another tear trickle down his cheek, and as much as it bothered him, he let it be. The worst part about being here – about these sessions with Hope – was that there were no secrets. Nothing to hide behind. Now allowance for silence. Here was where wounds were ripped open and his pride abolished. And it hurt. A lot.

“I’m always trapped here.” The retort came out hoarsely through thick emotions. “Just because I have a choice between losing my job entirely or not, doesn’t make it less of a trap.”

The anger returned to his vacant eyes. “If people around here actually cared, they’d leave me alone.” There was more. More emotions. More feelings running rampant. More words on the tip of his tongue. But he swallowed them. His gaze met JT’s and Hope’s once more before he spun around to leave the office, slamming the door shut behind him.

Only now did JT realize he’d been holding his breath, and he let it out slowly before rubbing his hands over his face. “Well…at the very least, we hit a nerve, which probably means we were traveling down the path of truth…finally.”

He looked over at Hope, his expression one of quiet concern. “Let’s hope he acknowledges it.”

They could hope all they wanted, but no one would know if Gunner had accepted what had been revealed. Not that day. Or that night. Or the following day or night. And by the third day, Reese made the search official. No one had seen or heard from Gunner since the session in Hope’s office. There was no trace of where he might have gone. No trace of his car. And his cell phone was going unanswered. He had simply disappeared...

…JT sighed and hung up the phone in the living room before turning to look at Bree. “Still nothing.” He’d been talking to Reese, but there was simply no news. Pete and Con had teamed up to hunt down any lead they could, and neither had been successful thus far.


“Reese is worried the Agency is involved. Con is more worried Gunner went and either hurt himself or went after some other bad guy figment of his imagination.” JT sank down into his chair, wishing he had better news for his niece. Neither one of them had worked the past two days, too worried and too busy trying to help find Gunner. “Still no trace of his car. His apartment hasn't been touched, and as far as all data shows, he hasn’t used his cell phone at all." 

He glanced at his niece with just as much concern for her as for Gunner. "They'll find him...I know they will."


Hearing his phone, Hunter quit tinkering with his motorcycle and wiped his hands on a rag before viewing Katie’s text message. It was an odd sort of feeling that hit him. Not quite jealousy. Not quite concern. Not quite…anything, really. Except it was almost like when a question is asked, even though the answer is already known. At least, the emotion could be considered similar on a different plane...or something like that.

He chewed on the inside of his lower lip while his thumbs worked out a reply.

No sweat. Yeah morning is still on. 
Later.

He thought about more. But he hit “send” before typing anything else. Jason and Katie went a long way back and had a lot of history together. Not to mention, they still worked together. It was only natural that they should join up to chat every once in a while. And yet…

Hunter looked at his phone again and started another text message. Only this time, it wasn’t to Katie. 


Jason smirked at Katie before taking another sip of his coffee. “Yeah, I’m Jason alright. It’s a wonder people have put up with me all this time. Seems all I keep doing is messing things up. Good enough to keep my head above water, but enough of a hothead to keep making that one wrong choice.”

He shook his head and let his eyes rest on hers. “I should have seen it that very first time you got me help when I needed it. When you were the only one who knew I was in trouble and either came running yourself, or made someone else do it. You’ve always been there, no matter how stupid I’ve been, or the stunts I’ve pulled.”

He swallowed hard and dropped his gaze as his emotions started to churn. He needed to stop now. But he also needed to be honest. “No matter what I put you through, or how many times I pulled away…how many times I hurt you and made you suffer because I felt chained to you through our connection. You always took me back. Always forgave.”

It wasn’t a feeling of romance that moved his hand towards hers on the table. It wasn’t a gesture born of flirtatiousness. It was only tender gratefulness that was wrapped within his touch as his fingers curled around hers to give them a gentle squeeze. It was an apology. And one that had come too late.

“You were always stronger than me,” he whispered. “Maybe it’s just taken me this long with this much loss to finally see it. I…still hurt…thinking about how things ended with us. I can’t deny feeling it was unfair. But…if I’d have been fair to you in the first place, it probably never would have happened.”

He let go of her hand and cleared his throat before returning to his coffee. “And I’ve now been unfair to Misty, too, by getting into a relationship with her in the first place. I guess…all I can do now is try to pick up the pieces and hope she forgives me. And…try not to let it affect my work or else Reese really have my head.” He managed a wry grin. “Not that that’s any different than normal.”


Clint really didn’t feel like talking, much less consoling this girl. But the tender spot in his heart – no matter how much he tried to ignore it – won out.

He stopped what he was doing to cross his arms and lean back against the workbench, forgetting about his own problems for at least a little while. “Ah…the truth comes out.”

He shook his head at Ashlee. “I grew up without a dad, too. And when I did finally find him, I discovered I’d known him all along, and he just never had the guts to tell me. And now…” He stopped himself short. “Well, we won’t get into that. My point is, I can see where you’re coming from, and I don’t blame you. If you weren’t a little scared of being let down again, I’d be worried.”

He pursed his lips and just studied her for a couple moments. “But know this…If you don’t give Eric a chance…If you decide to push him away out of fear, you’ll do that the rest of your life, and trust me, you’ll regret it. At some point, you’re going to have to have a little faith in someone, or else you’ll wind up alone and miserable.”

Maybe it was a little harsh for a girl her age, but he was only being honest. “Now, I know you trust your mom. And if she – after all she’s been through – has the nerve to put her trust in Eric…then it’s probably safe.” He shrugged. “And if you’d ask me, I’d tell you he’s one of the most loyal guys you’ll ever meet, and as far as I can tell, he cares about you and your mom a lot.”

He moved to resume putting some random tools away. “People come and go from our lives all the time – there’s nothing we can do to control it. But if you don’t learn to let yourself care about someone in the few moments we have them, you won’t care at all. And I’d hate to see the kind of person you’d end up being if you went that route.”



8/20/14

Alone

Hope didn't mind letting JT take the lead on this. Maybe if Gunner heard it from someone like family he would take it a little easier. She had no doubt he'd be upset, and thats why she was there but maybe just maybe with a little luck it might so smoother than she played it in her own head.

Watching Gunner as JT talked Hope could see the stress written on his face and the pain in his eyes. She new that this had to be a shock and maybe even a little hard to handle. Seeing Gunner get more and more upset, and his words match Hope felt bad. She really honestly did. Something like this was never easy no matter how she wished it was.

   "Not proud of ourselves, but just trying to help you weather you want to believe it or not Gunner. We want the same thing for you, that you want. Closure so you can move on with yourself, with everything it has to offer."

Seeing the tears that ran down Gunner's cheek made Hope's heart break even more. She couldn't even imagine the pain he was in and hurt the filled his heart. Hearing his question she was quiet for a long moment. She wanted Gunner to stay, but she wanted him to stay on his own, not be forced.

Looking to JT she gives a small nod before looking back to Gunner and laying a hand on his arm. There was so much she wanted to do but so little she really could.

   "You are never trapped here Gunner unless you want to be. You have always been free to come and go as you want. Just know before you go, we do care about you, and we are here if and when you need us."

Letting go of Gunner's arm she gives it a small pat before taking a few steps back and letting Gunner free to go. Giving a glance at JT she hoped he understood why she did what she did.

Giving a smile as Jason accepts her offer Katie nods and pulls out her phone shooting a fast message to Hunter.

 Hey, I just wanted to let you know that Jason
needed someone to talk to, and I happened to 
be around. So we are just going to grab 
something to eat. See you in the morning still?

Slipping her phone back into her pocket Katie stands and heads for the door. She had mixed feelings about this, and she hoped Hunter understood. It was just lunch, between two friends right?

Getting to the bagel shop Katie orders some tea, and a light salad. She didn't want anything to heavy to eat, but she did want something. Listing to Jason Katie takes a sip of tea. A small laugh surfaced at the mention of everyone Jason had tried to make it work with only to see it slip away and at the same time, she felt bad too.

   "Nah, I dont think there is wrong with you. Maybe not the best choices were made, but I dont think there is anything wrong with you. Takes two, to make and break a relationship."

Looking down again Katie is silent for a moment thinking about the turn there own relationship had taken. She new most of it was her fault. She'd been quick to jump, didn't try and talk things out, it had been one big ball of mess. 

   "I guess we need to make mistakes to learn. Some times sad ending come out of it, but I guess its just part of life really. I'm sure once Misty calms down too, and what not she'll understand. After all who could stand not talking to you? Your Jason!"

Feeling Alec's arm around her Misty just sinks into him. She might not have showed it but she just needed to feel safe, and cared for at the moment. Everything had gone wrong in so little amount of time. Carson, Jason...she wasn't sure what else she could take.

   "Can you just hold me till I fall asleep? I just....dont want to be alone."

Hearing Eric had something for her Ashlee can't help but feel a little excitement. But at the same time she still had her mix emotions. She was really happy to see Eric, but still he was going to leave again and she'd miss him once more. It hurt, and if he left maybe he didn't care that much. It confused Ashlee and she didn't like it.

   "Ok, see ya in a bit."

Tossing the pop can in the trash and moving to the work bench Ashlee picked at some of the loose wood. Picking up one of the wrenches she places into the tool box.

   "If I hang out with him, I'll stop being mad at him, and if I stop being mad at him than I'll just miss him when he leaves again and why should I miss him if he doesn't care about us and leaves."

Taking in a deep breath and than lets it out again. She didn't mean to unload everything on Clint, he was just there and she was frustrated. She hated feeling like this, and she didnt even know who to talk to about it.

   "Sorry, I kind of just blurted out."