7/27/12

Not ready

   "Don't get me wrong, I was mad, disappointed and scared of what would of happened if I hadn't been there but...It just kind of melted away because I missed you the whole morning and part of the afternoon."

Giving a sidelong glance to Hunter Katie offers a small smile. She still wanted to be mad but couldn't figure out why she wasn't. All she new though was that now that Hunter was sitting here it confirmed that she wasn't mad at him.

Hearing his comment Katie lets out a little sigh before reaching over and taking Hunter's hand in her own. Running her fingers over the top of his hand she is just quiet for a long moment. She understood what he was going through and yet at the same time she didn't. In a way she wish she still had her powers to help Hunter but she didn't and it kind of made her feel helpless.

   "You need to let go of everything Hunter. Let yourself be free, and stop carrying around all the weight you have been. I know its easy said than done but something has got to change before you hurt yourself or you do go crazy. And I'm not ready to lose you yet."

Hearing Alec and his comment about her and Jason having the hots for each other for a while Misty can't help the large laugh that slipped from her lips. It sounded funny when put that way but she liked Alec's honestly and his innocents in the whole thing. She needed the laugh too it really did make her feel good.

   "I guess we have had the hots for a while and now...we get the chance to see what happens."

Cutting her sub in half and wondering over to the table with her glass of water Misty sits down comfortably. Saying a quick prayer she opens her eyes and takes a bit of the sub. It tasted so good she could hardly believe it. She had been craving this for a while now, or many not a while but thats what it felt like.

   "Well I am happy you approve. Being my brother in law and all if you thought something was off I would be offended if you didn't say anything. But I don't think I have to worry about that."

I don't know...

Letting out a slow sigh, Hunter eases down next to Katie, wishing her words didn't bother him. Pulling up his legs, he bends to rest his head on his knees, his face hidden. Yes.... he was tired. Very tired. Exhausted. Every day it got worse. Every day his lack of sleep affected him more. 

What he couldn't figure out was why Katie wasn't mad at him. Funny though - thinking of putting her through the stress of if he got himself hurt was almost worse than getting yelled at. But what if he did go and get himself hurt? What if he did do something stupid? What if he did go out and drive drunk? Wasn't he allowed his own choices? His freedom? Wasn't he allowed to do whatever he pleased? 

Guild gnawed at his gut again. If Katie was off doing stupid things, he wouldn't be happy either, because he cared. But ever since he started thinking of what others might think, or consequences, or anything like that.... ever since then, he'd been involved in a most cruel battle he just couldn't win. So what was the point? At least back in Nevada when he'd just looked out for himself, he wasn't playing tug-o-war with his conscience all the time. Was this really worth it? 

Finally lifting his face, he legs his legs stretch out as another sigh surfaces. Leaning to the side, his head comes to rest on Katie's shoulder. "I'm losing my mind, Katie..." Is that what the nightmares were about? Was he just going mad? Was he destined to suddenly be plagued by these horrific images and never be rid of them, never to have another good night's sleep? "I don't know how much more I can take." 


Remaining focused on building his sub, Alec just listens, not surprised by what he heard. Although he hadn't known how close Jason and Misty had been before. He wondered if it had been difficult for them seeing each other every day. Though Misty made it sound like they'd handled it pretty well. 

Finished with his sub, he turns and just studies Misty, a little smile tugging at his mouth. "So basically you've both had the hots for each other and now that you have the chance... bam." 

He had no doubt that love for Carson lingered in Misty's heart. She hadn't needed to explain... he'd heard her crying and he knew that this whole thing was not easy. Just because she found someone to date rather quickly did not mean she had wanted Carson gone or that she was glad he'd left. Alec understood. 

Picking up his plate, he wanders to the table before going to the refrigerator and finding a can of pop. "Well... you could do a whole lot worse," he muses. Returning to the table, he sits down and shrugs. "Guess I never cared for Jason but... lately he hasn't seemed so bad." On the contrary, he and Jason had actually been getting along pretty well. "Not that you need my approval." 

He manages a grin. "But what kind of brother-in-law would I be if I didn't have an opinion?"


Just tired

Hearing someone coming Katie looks to the side seeing Hunter.  Giving a small little smile she was happy he deiced to come. At first since it had been a little bit with no reply and no sigh of him she wasn't so sure he would. But now he was here and she was happy. 

Leaning her head against tree again Katie just sits till he gets  a little closer. Once he was and hearing his words she picks her head up and looks up at him. Giving him a one over she shakes her head a little bit. Hunter looked tired, stressed, warn out, he looked like everything had just finally caught up to him.

     "You look pretty sober to me now, you just look...tired."

Looking away again Katie pats the ground next to her hoping Hunter would sit down. Looking across the field at the horizon Katie remembered falling sleep here with Hunter. He'd been so comfortable, so soft to sleep it had come easy and he'd never complained about it. The thought put another smile on her lips.

    "I just can't be mad at you. Even though I should be, I just can't. I care about you and you mean a great deal to me not just as a friend maybe something more too. I just...care what happens to you and I don't want to have to come visit you in a hospital too."

Busy making her sub Misty was having fun watching Alec and what combination he was using. Working on her own she tried to put something different together and not the same old same old. New things now and than were good it kept a meal intrusting and not dull.

Hearing Alec's question Misty turns his head to him a little and raises an eyebrow not behind able to help the smile that was on her face too. Was it that obvious? Misty didn't know but she did not that Alec was an observant person and if anyone was going to spot it, it would be him.

    "Yes, we are dating now as of a few days ago."

Thinking about it to an outsider like Alec it might seem kind of quick for her to be dating someone else if they didn't know the history.

   "Jase and I have....mmm....we've always had an attraction to each other for as long as I can remember. But we also had a respect for each other that life just didn't work out with us being together. I had Carson, and he had Katie. We both had people who loved, and wanted to be with even if there were sparks between us. So out feelings for each other were locked away and we only had a strong friendship."

Misty had no idea if she was explaining this right. She new Alec was smart though so maybe he could peace everything together and understand what she was saying even if the words came out wrong.

   "So, now since we both lost the people we loved, it was like a wall had been broken and the feelings we had tucked away for some many years just came out. I think thats why it happened so fast because really we had liked each other for a log time coming. If it had been anyone else I don't think it would of happened this fast. Do I still miss Carson...you bet I do. Do I still cry myself to sleep...you should see my garbage can. But I can't do anything to change what happened so I have to more forward."

Going back to her sub and adding a few more things. Misty wondered if she was rambling now but it was the best way she could describe the whole thing without making it drawn out more than it already was.

Drunken Company

As Misty leaves to go to the kitchen, Alec slowly pries himself from the couch to stand. His body ached, and he knew it wasn't from the work he was doing - it was just from stress. Looking at his palm, he studies the stitches and the wound that had been itching all day. He hoped she'd agree to take the stitches out later.

Padding to the kitchen in his bare feet, he rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand in an attempt to make them feel better. Just waiting and watching for a few minutes until Misty has everything spread out on the counter, he joins her to build a sub.

Taking advantage of the array of food items, he really wasn't sure what he thought would taste good right now, but he'd just pile everything on and find out. As he lays some cheese on, he gives Misty a sidelong glance as she makes her own sub. 

He had a question... and he was pretty sure he knew the answer... but he hadn't seen too much around here to prove it. It seemed to be pretty obvious anyway, but it would be nice to know for sure so he didn't say or do anything stupid. 

"So, um..." He clears his throat. "You and Jason... You guys just hanging out all the time or... are you dating?" 


Sitting on the top rail of the pasture fence, Hunter feels the buzz in his pocket. Retrieving his phone and seeing Katie's message, he sighs. He really didn't want to talk. 

After finally recovering from being sick earlier, he'd taken a shower then had gone to find Sparky and help exercise some of the horses. It hadn't gone so well - he'd had trouble with a couple of the horses and though Sparky hadn't gotten mad, Hunter at least felt displeasure with his own performance. He hadn't had a bad day since he'd come - but today, everything seemed to be going wrong. Even when he'd tried to clean some stalls, he'd accidentally let one horse loose, then later had somehow lost control of the wheelbarrow and spilled manure all over the place. And on top of all that, eyes had been on him all day. No one asked him any questions - no one even treated him any differently. But they were watching him. Wondering. Hunter couldn't tell if Katie had told anybody what had happened or not. But it was obvious that they at least knew they'd shown up this morning from being somewhere else. What did they think of him? Did they think he and Katie had been up to no good? Did they think he'd been getting himself in trouble - which would be partially true? 

All in all, running on adrenaline alone, with nerves shot to boot, Hunter found himself unable to do anything right and unable to stand the stares any longer. He'd retreated to the pasture instead of joining Eric to cut down some brush. And now... Katie wanted to see him. 

Looking at his phone again, he weighs his option. He didn't want her to be mad at him. He felt stupid and guilty for earlier. He didn't want her to think less of him... but that would be nearly impossible. He knew good and well that his stunt had lost him some respect at least. Never before had that bothered him. Never before had he cared. And now... after being here for such a short while... couldn't he do what he wanted anymore? What was it about this place that made him feel guilty? He didn't like it, and he was starting to wonder if it was this place alone that was giving him nightmares. He loved it here during the days and he'd had a blast - more so. But the nights were terror and he hadn't had any problems until coming here. It was a conflict he didn't understand but maybe he didn't need to. 

Finally sliding down off the fence, he pockets his phone and wanders in the direction of the tree. It takes a few minutes, but eventually he does come, approaching slowly.

Stopping just a couple feet away, he hooks his thumbs in his pockets and looks down at Katie wearily. "Your drunken company has arrived..." 


Grew Heavy

Giving a smile and sitting a little straighter Misty gives a nod. She was happy that at least Alec was trying to eat even if he didn't feel like it. She was doing the same thing. It was strange being hungry but not being hungry. For the baby's sake and her own health she new she had too.

   "Yep I sure did. I have some sub rolls, ham and turkey, provolone, and Swiss, tomatoes, lettuces, onions, and that whatever kind of dressing you would like. My brother use to make home made subs for us all the time. They were almost my favorite."

Standing and giving Alec's leg a pat Misty makes her way into the kitchen hoping he would follow and they could put the subs together. She new Alec and he might not want to do much but she also new he wouldn't want to be alone either.

   "I've also got some cleaning items for your hand. If it's healed nicely we might be able to take the stitches out."

Seeing Tal's look Ryan couldn't help but grin again at him. She new what he was thinking but her brother was right there. The last thing she needed was to be razzed more by him. Eli already did that enough even if it really didn't bother her that much.

Turning her attachen back to the TV Ryan bits into her pizza and chews before grabbing another chicken wing. She was hungry and this just seemed to hit the spot. Though she watched the tv her mind was still somewhere else too It was on Alec's call. She hated how it bothered her and how she even cared. Life with Tal and her brother was good right now, and she felt content yet was there a little peace missing?

As the minute passed by and the pizza and chicken wings were devoured a few of each left sitting in the box. No one wanting to get up just yet. Her mind now going silent from the thoughts of Alec Ryan was cuddled on the couch leaning comfortable against Tal with his arm around her. Zidan curled up at her feet sleeping peacefully. These were the moments that took everything else away, the moments when Ryan's worrys melted, and rest seemed to come easy as her eyes grew heavy.

Working intently Katie didn't stops for much relaxation. If she even thought about stopping for the moment she would pass out. For right now she would just work it was keeping her mind off things anyways. Though at the same time she new she had to think through what went on and she had to work through it. Hunter was her good friend and the last thing she wanted was to rune what they had started.

Finally done with her work Katie wonders out to the tree where Hunter and herself had fallen asleep. Sitting down her plays with her phone in her hand for a long moment. She hadn't seen Hunter since they got back and she wasn't sure where he was. 


Sitting by our tree, could use some company and would like to talk if your up to it.

Leaning her head against the tree Katie wasn't sure if Hunter would come or not but she hoped he would. It had been all morning, and a little bit of the afternoon since they had last talked and to be honest she missed it and she didn't like being on odds. And she wanted to at least try to mend things before it went on to much longer.


Couldn't Remember

Alec blows his nose before settling his head back down in the pillow and just remaining quiet for several minutes. What Misty said made sense... gave him reason to keep going... and made him feel good, knowing she cared. He knew he needed to move on. It was just... going to take a while. "Thanks..."

Sighing deeply, he finally looks back up at Misty again. He really didn't want to eat, but he knew he should, and if he didn't, she'd make sure he had something anyway. "Did you say something about subs for supper?" 


Watching Ryan and the puppy, Tal grins and shakes his head. He was glad to see her enjoying Zidan - it made him feel good to know that she was having fun with him and taking good care of him - whether that included spoiling or not. 

Her comment about the eyes though immediately brings heat to his cheeks and he looks at his food. "Eh... nothing's irresistible if you don't want it to be." He gnaws on his chicken wing, getting off all the meat. Giving Ryan a sidelong glance, the corner of his mouth twitches. What he'd really like to do was push her back on the couch and give her a kiss for that comment... and his eyes said so.... but he refrained with Eli in the room. 

Loud music makes him jump and he looks back to the tv where Eli had finally started the movie. 


Having been listening intently, both men straighten and roll their eyes as Katie gives them no more information than what they'd started out with. Watching her walk away, Mick hauls off and whacks Sparky's arm.

"Hey!" Sparky rubs his arm. "What was that for?"

"I don't know... you just looked like you deserved it." Mick sighs and sets his hands on his hips. "Guess that's that, then."

Sparky smirks. "Yeah. Guess so. Think everything really is okay?"

"As okay as it needs to be. She'd tell us otherwise." Of that, Mick was confident. Katie wouldn't put personal feelings over safety.


In his bunkhouse, Hunter leans on the bathroom sink after having splashed some water on his face. Exhaustion was an understatement - especially after having spent the last ten minutes throwing up. He couldn't remember the last time that drinking had bothered him - let alone this much. His head was pounding and he wasn't so sure that his stomach was through yet. He'd drunk a whole lot more than this before without hardly a hangover the next day. What was his problem this morning? What was happening to him? 

Looking himself in the mirror, the face he saw was pale with dark circles under his eyes. But it wasn't the drink that caused that - it was his sleeplessness. So tired... so utterly tired, yet he knew if he tried to sleep, he would just be attacked by the nightmare once more. 

Starting to leave the bathroom, his stomach lurches and he turns back around again. It apparently wasn't over yet.