Okay by me

JT stood in the lounge, sipping a cup of coffee. He'd just finished with several patients and needed an extra pick-me-up to make it through the afternoon. Listening to his voicemail, he arched an eyebrow. He wasn't too surprised though. With the way Gunner had been lately, he'd wondered if anything would get worse, or if it would all blow over. Apparently he was having some kind of relapse. JT was more than willing to help though. If Gunner needed extra support and a place to stay, it wasn't a problem.

Taking a few extra moments, he called Bree, knowing she'd answer as long as she wasn't right in the middle of anything too pressing. "Hey, Bree, it's your uncle... Listen, I just got a call from Hope. I guess you were right - Gunner's not doing so hot. She seems to think it would be best if he wasn't alone right now, so she asked if he could stay at my place. Doesn't sound like he's suicidal or anything - just a bit disoriented from everything going on."

He tossed out his styrofoam cup and whatever was left of his cold coffee. "Figured I'd let her know it was okay by me, and...thought you'd probably wanna come over tonight too, to see what's up, especially if Gunner doesn't let you know."

Alec can't help a light scoff at Misty's thanks. "You kidding? I owe you a lot more than just doing a few odd jobs around here." A pause followed, but even so, his emotions of gratefulness were evident. "I'll, um...see you tonight."

Susanne stared down at the dish she was holding with oven mitts, before she looked up at Chuck. "Um..." She scrunched up her nose and remained standing in the middle of her kitchen, not quite sure what to do now. "Apparently I didn't take this out soon enough...unless lasagna is...supposed to be...black." 

She didn't usually cook so badly. On the contrary, usually she did quite a good job, and just recently she'd started having Chuck over for supper once in a while. Tonight though, something had gone horribly wrong. 

Still just standing there, she had no idea where to go from here, and her eyes were wide. "Do you... like pizza from the Pizza Box?"

Call

Finally letting out her breath Hope smiled softly. She was happy Gunner decided to stay with JT on his own. It was a smart move, and it would make her feel better. At least till he was feeling better and a little more with it, and remembering again.

   "It's not a problem Gunner I can call him. You don't have to go there now but by tonight would be good. You're still independent Gunner and can do what you want, its just for the time being, being around someone else will help."

Giving another soft smile Hope turns and heads into the other room to call JT. She could already guess he would say yes and leaving a message on his voicemail to call her if he couldn't have Gunner there she didn't think he would mind. Gunner was important to him as much as he was to Bree.

Coming back to the room Hope sets her phone down on the counter before looking at Gunner again. She new this was going to be good for him even if he didn't see it. 

   "The call is made, and if all is well you can go there tonight."

Sitting back in her chair at her desk and poping a few grapes into her mouth Misty smiles and shakes her head. Swallowing she speaks again. She remembered when she had the energy like Alec and now it just seemed she got more tired and more tired.

   "Thats fine with me. I have kind of let it go since you know I got prego. Thanks Alec...for everything. I really mean that. You have helped me a lot and I couldn't have done it without you."

Embarrassed

Gunner thought for several long moments, mulling over the options Hope was giving him. Part of him wanted to fight - this was his life and he could take care of himself. And part of him wanted to give in - he was too tired of thinking of so many things, and he knew he needed help. 

Eventually, he nodded. "Okay." His voice indicated sadness...perhaps disappointment in himself. "I'd...prefer going to JT's I think. I stayed there before, when I got out of Northside, didn't I?" For some reason, remembering things was difficult today. He swallowed hard. "But...but would you ask JT for me?" It was bad enough feeling this lost and confused, but now there was embarrassment added to the mix. The part of him that was still thinking straight felt like a little kid who needed a babysitter rather than a full grown man on the Elite force, who was engaged, no less. But he was too tired to argue. 

He mustered up the strength to stand again, tucking his hands into his pockets and staring at the floor. "Does this mean I have to go today?" 


Hearing excitement in Misty's voice too made Alec feel good. Someone was proud of him. "Um...I start next week on Monday. Don't know what my schedule will look like after that - I think it will vary from week to week, but it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. Anyway...so yeah, I got the ice cream...and til you get home, I thought I'd clean up the front yard around the porch if that's okay with you."


Rick nodded his agreement. "Yeah, I think asking him about it might be good, and you're right - dark or not, this is very well written. I never saw him as the creative type, but...I'm beginning to wonder if there's lots of things I've never seen in him. He's been pretty quiet since coming here - I almost worry he keeps to himself too much. Thought I might see about getting him back together with Misty and Jason again or something." 

For there sake

Looking back at Gunner Hope gives him a small shake of her head. She felt bad but she new that he could not stay here himself. He wasn't crazy but it wasn't good for him to stay alone either.

   "I think they would be very proud of you Gunner, but I don't think they would like it much if they new people were trying to help you and you wouldn't let them."

Taking a step closer to Gunner and placing her hand on his Hope had a look that showed she did care a great deal about him and what happened. She did care and this was important for more than one reason.

   "I need you Gunner or Bree sake, and all your friends to consider staying with JT or Bree even. If not than we will had to find you else where to stay. Not because your crazy at all, but because you had had a mental break. That has nothing to do with being crazy or not but its a must to have someone here, or for you to go and be with someone else. I don't want to force you at all because thats not how I like to do things so I would like it if you would do it on your own...please."

Getting Alec's phone call Misty couldn't help her own excitement bubble over as she sat on her desk. She new Alec had been still looking for a job and it had been driving him crazy not to find anything. Hearing how exicted he was now was a good feeling for Misty.

   "Oh wow Alec that's great. I am so happy for you. When do you start?"

Looking at the words over and over again for a long moment and studying it Janet didn;t know Clay all that well but from what she did know he didn't seem like the time to do anything dumb. And yet could they be wrong?

   "Well I dont think Clay seems like someone who might harm themselves. More like an active imagination or just revealing some stress."

Glancing at the paper again and just holding it Janet can't help but take note really to how well it was written. It flowed nicely, made sense and painted a picture in ones head.

   "We could always ask him about it. And it is rather well written."

Dark Wings

Gunner chewed on his lower lip, not looking to Hope, but still listening. He finally shook his head. "I don't wanna burden JT...or Bree." He remained on the floor and started rocking slightly, not even realizing it was a dead giveaway for how nervous and stressed out he was. "It's not fair...not fair to Bree...None of this."

He tried to think straight. Tried to clear his mind. But it felt like he was trapped inside a thick fog with no light to guide him out. Never had he felt so confused and unable to think. 

"I forgot everything," he whimpered. "Why can't I forget about this? Why am I cursed? I just...I want to give up. It's not worth fighting anymore. Just not worth it." 

He turned his eyes to Hope with a pitiful look of desperation. "Am I really going crazy? Too crazy to stay here by myself?" His gaze lowered. "My parents wouldn't be very proud of me, would they?"

"Hey, Misty..." Alec stood in the kitchen on the phone, having just called Misty's cell phone. He knew she was at work, but he was dying to talk to her. 

"I just wanted to let you know that when I was out today, I brought some ice cream home...to celebrate... 'cause... I got a job." A genuine smile was on his face. "It's with the city - I can't figure who put in a good word for me, but somebody must have, since they turned me down once before. Anyway, I get to do work like cleaning up sidewalks, mowing grass at the park, stuff like that." He couldn't help the excitement in his voice. 

"They're gonna give me tasks to do on a weekly basis, and I can work up to thirty hours. If what they give me isn't enough, I can find stuff to do, too. I figure that, plus the few hours with Carson... I can finally start paying you some rent."

Rick sat in the kitchen with Janet, having taken time to come home for lunch. Clay was out job hunting, and it was just as well for the moment. 

"What do you make of this?" Rick furrowed his brow as he studied the handwritten words. He'd found the paper crumpled by the bathroom waste basket, and would have thrown it away - as was probably intended - but some of the words had caught his attention. 

"Dark wings spread to circle high

Above the blood red moon.

Descending into black for prey below,

I shake.

But not in fear.

Muscles poised ready to fire

My arrow into his heart.

Death.

One must die tonight.

Avoiding razor talons, I must fight

Lest I become

One of them.

Dark creature of the night,

Thirsty for slaughter.

For my flesh.

But I am prepped for battle

One arrow pulled to aim.

Yet I find

There is no heart to pierce.

Dark wings spread around me,

Lifting me high

Towards the blood red moon.

I've lost myself.

No longer man.

But a creature of the night.

And heartless, I fall."

Rick sat back and finished off his iced tea. "I didn't know Clay wrote at all, let alone anything so dark. Think its anything to be concerned about?" 

 

Understand more

Pulling a chair out Hope sits down listening to Gunner again. Hearing what happened on his way home she  understood a little better what might be going on and how it was very possible that Gunner had a psychotic break. After having something like that throw into your face it was very possible.

   "I can see how something like that could of made you break down. Having something like that thrown in your face can do that when its traumatic."

Tapping her fingers on the counter for a second. This whole thing took a new turn now. A different direction but at least Hope understood why now. She anger was a little less, and there was much more understanding. If Gunner had only said this from the start than she would of been able to work with this sooner.

   "Being alone right now I dont think is a good thing Gunner. Not because I think you would intentionally hurt yourself, but on mistake. Leave a stove on, fall down the steps, or anything like that."

Hope takes another breath. She did what should could to let Gunner know she didn't think he would mean to hard himself seeing as that was on of the big issues he kept saying. She just wanted to make sure he was going to be ok.

   "Maybe you could stay with JT for a little bit."

Live...Die...

Gunner didn't interrupt Hope, but just listened for a moment before he turned back around and looked at the kitchen counter that had all the random food items on it. His shoulders slouched and he started to slowly put things back away. His stomach growled again, but this time he ignored it once more. 

It took him longer than it should have to find where everything should go, and when he finally turned to Hope again, his eyes were holding tears that hadn't yet spilled over. 

"It was on the way home." He spoke quietly...sadly. "From work...or JT's...or something. I saw a car wreck and...I dunno..." His eyes fell to the floor. "I was already thinking about things, so it all came back and...I just couldn't help it." 

He moved past Hope without explanation, and entered the living room where he sunk to the floor to sit in front of the couch. He pulled his knees up and stared into space for several quiet moments. "I can't stop it," he whispered. "No matter how hard I try...I can't not think about it. I have to solve it. I don't know how to control it." He paused to swallow hard, and tried to maintain control of his chaotic emotions. "I want to stop it...I want to solve it...I want to live...I want to die." His focus remains on nothingness, as if he'd forgotten Hope was even present. "It's all just...a blur...pulling me in opposite directions...and no rest...ever. I don't know who I am anymore."


Trent can't help but smile and he shakes his head at Thirteen, amused at her excitement. And...deep down...it felt good, too. It hadn't been easy for him to make this step and come, but...maybe it really was worth it. 

"I don't care what we do," he answered. "Honest. Whether we stay here, go for a ten-hour walk, or drive 'til the wheels fall off. It's completely up to you. I know you gotta work too though, so I don't wanna disrupt your schedule too much." 

Got to change

Once inside and offering her dad a chair Thirteen brings some water before sitting down. There were so many things she had wanted to say and do with her dad. But now that he was there it all seemed lost.  She was just happy he was here now.

   "So dinner a movie, and than maybe tomorrow I can show you around with Ryder."

Thirteen smiles and she moves around in her seat a little bit. She was so excited she could hardly contain herself. She just felt like she was bubbling over and she wanted everyone to meet Trent it was hard for her to slow her brain down.

   "I know since you just got here you wont want to travel around more today.  So we can relax and worry about that tomorrow. Ok?"

Following Gunner around as he moves Hope listened to all he had to say. Parts of what the words he spoke hurt, and made her cringe on the inside but she wouldn't say anything, she wouldn't let it bother her. She new he was confuse and hurt but this had to stop. This was unhealthy and it had to stop.

   "Yes Gunner you did. This has got to stop. You have got to see how this is unhealthy this has gotten."

Hope looked at Gunner with concern and with a look that showed she really did care for him and she wanted to do what was best. She just wanted to help, and make things better and at least help him over come this.
  
   "You are for getting things, being confused, spouting off without thinking, and not seeing the help that is being offered to you. This had to change before its to late Gunner. We are all just trying to help you Gunner. That is all anyone is trying to do before Bree wont have someone left to marry, and before you drive youself to madness."

Confused

"I think I might just do that." Jared brushed a strand of hair from Grace's face before leaning down and giving her a final gentle kiss on the lips. "Goodnight...and thanks."

It wasn't easy getting himself to bed once Grace was gone, but he managed. His mother had come home at some point - he imagined earlier in the evening, but she'd done a good job at making herself scarce...something he'd have to thank her for later, since he knew how hard it must have been for her not to keep an eye on him and Grace.

Once in bed, he was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was exhausted, but his dreams were sweet. It had been a good day.


Hearing Hope's voice, Gunner sighed. He'd figured she'd call, and resented it that she'd shown up here again. Couldn't anybody leave him alone?

Getting himself up off the floor, he left his bedroom, his bare feet scuffing on the carpet. "What's going on is I'm trying to think for myself," he growled. He came into the living room and stopped, folding his arms to accompany his glare at Hope. "Had a lot of time to think the last couple days, and all I can figure is you all are having fun manipulating me. Reese has me on an 'or-else' leash, and you come hunting me down if I miss an appointment."

Without waiting for a response, he turned his back and aimed for the kitchen. "And if Reese wants to fire me 'cause I don't wanna talk to a shrink, then so be it. If he feels that way about me, then it isn't worth sticking around anyway."

His stomach growled for the umpteenth time that day, convincing him to finally eat something. He grabbed a box of cereal and poured some in a bowl, but it wasn't until he was halfway to the refrigerator that he realized it was afternoon...breakfast was for mornings, and the morning had passed.

Switching gears, he poured the cereal back into the box and went to make a sandwich instead. Even then, he had difficulty figuring out just what was supposed to go on a sandwich, and when he got everything spread out on the counter, he wasn't sure why he'd retrieved the bag of carrots and an apple...and apparently he hadn't thought about lunch meat. Was it mayo or mustard he liked? He stared at the two containers, not completely sure.

Only when he'd given up and turned around did he realize Hope was still there. After staring at her for a moment, he blinked, turned back to his food, then glanced over his shoulder at her. The anger was gone. All that was left was a look of confusion, as if he had no idea what he was doing. "I was supposed to come see you today, wasn't I?"


Trent chuckled and shook his head at Thirteen. "Don't need a thing, though I suppose by suppertime, my stomach might complain. I, um..." He glanced at Ryder, then back to his daughter. "...Guess I didn't have any plans or anything. Just sorta took off from the ranch without much thought as to what I'd do once I got here." 

His expression turned sheepish. "I never was much for planning." 

Ryder grinned. He squeezed Thirteen's hand and gave her a kiss on the check before letting her go. "I'm gonna go take a shower. You two figure out what to do the rest of the day." 

Let you know

Lifting her head to look at Jared Grace's eyes were groggy proving that maybe, just maybe she had been sleeping too. It had been so comfortable though, and Jared was a nice pillow did she really have to go?

   "Do I have to....your so comfortable."

Though she was comfortable and really didn't want to move Grace new it was getting late and she had too. The movie was almost over and though she hadn't seen any of it she didn't much mind. The night had been a good one and she really had enjoyed it.

   "It's getting late. I guess I really should go. Call me tomorrow?"

   "Reese, I just wanted to let you know Gunner missed his appointment with me today. I'm going to be heading over to his house now to see whats up. I just though I should let you know."

Letting out a long sigh Hope hang's up the phone before standing and grabbing her jacket. She didn't know why Gunner had not shown up but it irritated her. Didn't he want his job back, to get better? Or did he just want to go back to Northside?

Getting to Gunner's house didn't take long at all and it gave Hope a little time to calm down. Going to the door and giving a knock Hope waits. Once again getting know answer she enters. 

   "Gunner...you missed your appointment...whats going on?"

Finally letting go of Trent Thirteen can't help the smile that was still on her face. Knowing everything was ok and her dad just wanted to come to see them made her feel good. She missed him very much and was happy he was here now.

   "Of course we don't mind. We were just talking about what to do for dinner. Now we just need to add one more to the list and that is ok with me."

Taking her dad's hand in her own and Ryder's in her other hand Thirteen leads them into he house. The smile was still spread across her face. She couldn't even start to describe how happy she was right now. He two favorite guys right here with her now. It was an amazing feeling.

   "Are you hungry? Need anything?"

Missed Appointment

Jared wasn't sure if he'd ever had a woman curl up on him like this before, for the simple pleasure of being near him. There had always been more expected. But while there were still temptations, he found himself enjoying this moment very much. It was simple. It was innocent. 

Keeping his arms wrapped around Grace, he kissed her lightly on the head. His eyes closed all on their own, proving just how exhausted he was. For him, this had been quite a busy day. He wouldn't trade any of it though, even if he could...

...Jared's head jerked up and he realized he'd dozed off for the last few minutes. He sighed deeply and gave Grace an extra squeeze. "You stay here much longer keeping me all warm and cozy, I'm gonna fall asleep," he teased. He really didn't care about what was playing on television. They'd missed most of the movie anyway, being too involved with each other. 

Gunner gave Bree's hand a squeeze in return before running his fingers playfully through her hair. "I know. Let's just forget about all this tonight though, okay? I just wanna enjoy your company." 

As it turned out, Gunner avoided any more talk about his problems the rest of the evening. He wound up falling asleep on the couch, then waking up only to bid Bree goodnight, then go to bed. Taking what Hope gave him helped. At least he didn't have to deal with any nightmares, and he slept the night through for the first time in ages. 

The next day was a long one. Not having work to go to, it left is mind with too much time to think, and his apartment wound up a mess once again, with his research strewn all about. He napped through lunch, then was back to the paperwork once again.

Come Friday, there was little he was thinking about, other than the case. He'd spent a little time with Bree and was sleeping better as long as he took something before bed. But even so, one look would tell anybody that he was under so much stress that he was ready to either have an anxiety attack or slip a cog. And he really wasn't sure which it might be either. What he did know was that he'd decided not to go in to TJY. And as such, he purposely missed his one o'clock appointment with Hope. Instead, when he should have been meeting with her, he sat on the floor of his bedroom, leaned back against his bed. He wore a wrinkled t-shirt and pair of jeans that he'd slept in the night before, and he hadn't shaven for two days. Yet he really didn't notice. All he knew was that something was wrong. Somewhere. Inside. It wasn't right. None of it was. Where were the answers?

Hearing a car, Trent pried is eyes open from his brief nap. He tilted back his hat and looked up to see a vehicle pull into the driveway. His stomach flipped when he saw Thirteen get out of the car. 

Getting himself to his feet, it was just in time to be enveloped in her hug. He grinned rather sheepishly and hugged her back. "Hey, you... I just thought I'd drop by." 

He pulled himself back and gave his daughter a long look before smiling again. "I haven't been waiting long - just long enough for my old bones to have a nap."

"G'day, Trent." Ryder smiled and offered him a handshake. This was certainly a surprise, but a good one. Thirteen deserved a visit from her dad. 

"Hi, Ryder." Trent nodded and returned the handshake. "How's things going?"

"Eh - alright, I reckon. Keeping your daughter in line is the hardest part." 

Trent chuckled and shook his head. "For some reason, I don't believe you." He winked at Thirteen. "I hope you don't mind I didn't call first. Figured I'd stay a few days if it's alright."

Excitment

Grace didn't mind that that minutes passes with just sitting there. No matter what being in Jared's arms made it feel like there was no time. She felt comfortable, safe, like nothing in the world could touch them. This was safe, Jared was safe, and oh so comforting something that maybe he didn't even know.

   "Your welcome Jared. You have many people who believe in you even if it dosn't seem like it. I am just happy I am the lucky one to come and work on your legs and get to know you."

Leaning her head on Jared's chest Grace lets out a content sigh. She was content to say the least. This had turned into something more than she could of asked for. Was this part of God's plan too? Grace could only imagen so and the next step she hoped was to get Jared to come to church with her. That would make everthing perfect.

Sitting up again and looking at the pizza on the table it was almost like Bree lost her own appatite for the food, Witch was very unlike her since pizza was something she loved the most. But she just felt to bad, and to worried herself on what would happen.

   "It's ok...the pizza is not going anywhere. I can take a few moments from it."

Placing her hand in Gunner's Bree gives it a squeeze. She wasn't sure what else to do or say even thought she wanted too. Gunner had been the best thing that ever walked into her life and she didn't want to lost him. Maybe if she talked to her Uncle he would know what to do, but that would have to wait till tomorrow.

   "I'll be here...no matter what Gunner...always."

   "So what should we have for dinner?"

Thirteen new it was a little easily to be talking about dinner but Ryder had gotten off work a little early today and she wasn't sure how to plan the rest of the day. So picking food was always a good option, at least to her.

Pulling into the driveway Thirteens eyes fall on the person who was sitting on the front steps. Looking to Ryder and than back to the man she found that odd. Looking a little more intently Thirteen perked up slightly. No...that couldn't be who she thought it was.

   "What...."

Getting out of the car and walking rather quickly up to the steps Thirteen can't hold back her surprise or excitement. It had been a long time since she had seen Trent last.

   "Dad?"

Coming even closer and seeing it really was her dad Thirteen throws her arms around him and gives him a tight hug burring her face into his neck. She couldn't help it, it had been so long ans she really had missed him so.

   "What are you doing here? I hope you wernt waiting long."

Questions

Jared was pleased that Grace would move close to him. One, it was enjoyable, and two, it proved she trusted him, even if he didn't yet trust himself. 

As she moved onto his lap, he wrapped his arms around her and smiled. He didn't care if it hurt - there was no way he was passing this up, and he wouldn't complain. Having her in is arms felt too good. 

Returning her kiss again, he just held her close and took his time. He didn't know how long it had been before he eventually pulled away, and even then, it was only to catch his breath. He leaned his forehead against hers and smiled, still holding her close as one hand absentmindedly rubbed her back.

"Thank you," he whispered. "For believing in me." 

Gunner couldn't feel worse about what was happening. He hated seeing Bree worried, and wished he could just forget about everything and move on. But every time he tried, it was as if an invisible force took over and pulled him right back in again. 

"I hope I find it too," he responded lamely. "I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is if I obsess a little. I mean, who cares? So I throw papers around and study them. So what? Reese shouldn't care as long as I'm getting my other work done, and nobody should care about what I do in my own apartment." 

He knew he was just going around in circles. He knew Bree was on his side, and arguing was pointless. And he also knew that he had much bigger issues than just obsessing over a buried case. He had no control over his nightmares, and they were getting the best of him lately. But what could Hope do about that, other than keep him on something to help him sleep? He couldn't go the rest of his life on meds for that - or at least, he didn't want to. He'd rather solve the stupid case so he could forget about it. Maybe if he solved it, he'd quit feeling like he wanted to jump off a bridge too.

Realizing he'd fallen quiet, he looked to Bree again and tried to smile. It didn't come out very well though. "I took you away from your pizza." 

A taxi pulled up to the curb and parked, its engine still running. A thinly built man, perhaps looking somewhat weary, exited the back seat and put his cowboy hat back on his head before grabbing his single duffelbag. After paying the driver, he walked slowly towards the house, his boots clicking lightly on the sidewalk.

Once up the porch and in front of the door, Trent raised his hand, hesitated, then rang the doorbell. After a second try with no answer, he assumed everyone was at work. Not surprising, since it was early afternoon, and anyone would have told him to call first, but he'd preferred to keep his coming here a surprise. He hoped no one would mind. He figured Jasmine would be glad to see him, and Ryder probably wouldn't have any complaints, and Katie was most likely busy with work and her boyfriend.

At least it was a nice day out today. Easing down on the porch, he stretched out his legs and used his bag as a pillow, tilting his hat down to shade his face. He didn't mind waiting for someone to come home. After the trip, he was a bit tired anyway.

"So it was nice?"

"Of course." Jason sipped a Mountain Dew and leaned his elbows on the dining room table while staring at the chess board. 

Con looked back at him and cocked his head. "Well, you haven't said much about it."

Jason chuckled while continuing to study the black and white pieces. "It was a wedding. I sang. Phil and Jen sang. Kyle and Alice said 'I do.' It was great."

Con still wasn't convinced there wasn't more. "Then why have you been moping ever since you got here?"

"I haven't been moping!"

"Yes you have." 

"Have not!" Jason finally decided to move a pawn. "Your move."

Con concentrated on the board again. "Have fun showing off your girlfriend while you were there?" 

Jason quirked an eyebrow and waited for Con to look up at him. "I always have fun going out with her."

Con grinned. "Did you dance?" 

"Sure. Well, as much as I dance. So did Kyle." Jason laughed. "I haven't seen him have so much fun in ages."

"Didn't he and Misty date once?"

"Yeah. I'm glad they can still be friends. Even Kyle's old friend Hunter was there and they got along great. All in all, it was a neat wedding, and the weather was great to have it outside."

"So..." Con moved a knight. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing!" Jason moved another pawn. 

"Well, there's something going on with you." Con moved his queen. 

"You're imagining things." Jason took no time in thinking before moving a knight. 

Con rolled his eyes and pointed at the board. "You just left yourself wide open for checkmate, and you say nothing's going on?"

Jason looked back at the board quickly, then slouched in his seat. "Oops."

"Yeah." Con started setting the board back up again. "So what's with you? Other than being lonely since Misty's having an evening with Alec and Mackenzie." 

Jason smirked. He took another swig of pop before retrieving his own pieces. "Nothing's with me. Nothing's going on, and nothing is wrong. I've just been thinking, that's all." 

Con paid close attention to make sure he was catching everything being said. "About what?" 

"I dunno." Jason shrugged. "Just watching Kyle and Alice get married...got me to thinking."

Con's eyebrows rose. "About...marriage?" 

"Well, yeah." 

"As in...you getting married?" 

Jason's gaze snapped back up. "No, not me. Just marriage in general. Like..." His brow furrowed as he tried to put into words what he'd been feeling all evening. "Like how important it is. I mean, Kyle and Alice just promised to spend their lives together until death. It's serious business." 

Con had a hard time not laughing. "Um...yeah, that's...that's how it works there, Jase."

Jason threw him a smirk before making the first chess move. "I just mean that maybe I look at married couples a little differently now. Like it's nothing to be disrespected or toyed with. I see people like you and Jamie, and if you two ever had trouble or something, I'd realize how serious it was. Not that I didn't take marriage seriously before, it was just sorta a lightbulb moment or something." He rolled his eyes. "And now I feel stupid." 

Con finally laughed, but tried not to tease too much. It was obvious that Jason was having trouble processing something. He met Jason's pawn with his own. "Don't feel stupid. I've had a few lightbulb moments of my own, you know." As a whiff of something good hit his nose, he lifted his head. "Hey, Jamie!" he yelled towards the kitchen. "Are you just gonna torture us with the smell of those chocolate chip cookies all night, or do we get to eat any?" 

Jason bit his lip to keep from laughing. He was glad his big friend was on an upswing. After being down for so long, it was nice to see Con smiling again. A new and more comfortable hearing aid had helped, as did some steady income from his job at the lumberyard. Jason could tell that Con was still somewhat unsettled and dissatisfied with the work he had, but at least things were a little better than they had been after he'd left the Elite team.

"Well?"

Jason snapped back to attention, realizing it was his turn again. "Oh. Sorry." He opted to move his bishop.

"So...that's it? Just a lightbulb moment today?" 

Jason shrugged again. "I dunno. Just...thinking about...people...like..."

Con waited for Jason to finish his slow sentence. 

"Misty." 

"Oh?" Con made another move. "She and Carson are divorced now, aren't they?"

"No...not yet. Carson hasn't signed the papers yet."

"I see." Con wasn't sure yet if he understood Jason's angle or not, but it was apparent that something really was bothering him. "So...?"

Jason sighed and abandoned the game to look up at Con once more. "So I guess maybe I got to thinking about Misty still being married. I mean...she's all set on the divorce and everything, and I don't think we've done anything wrong, but..." 

Con continued to wait patiently. 

"Well I see Carson once in a while and I talk to Alec and Mackenzie, and it sounds like Carson's doing just awful. He misses Misty so bad, and he's stuck with his story about never meaning to mess things up. I was really angry with him before. I care about Misty - always have, so to see her wronged like that, it just really turned my stomach. Carson was stupid, no doubt." 

"But?" 

"Well...after seeing the wedding today...maybe I thought about me being somebody hindering Misty and Carson getting back together." 

Con blinked in surprise. "You think they should?"

"What I think doesn't matter, does it? I mean, that's the whole point. I decided Carson was wrong, and opted to step in for Misty. Figured I was doing the right thing. But it was never my place to judge, was it?" 

Con leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "That's as tough one, Jase. It's obvious that Carson made some bad decisions, and he's paying some pretty hefty consequences. It isn't our job to judge, but we do need to choose to act accordingly. You think dating Misty wasn't the right choice?"

"I...don't know anymore. I thought it was, but...now I'm not so sure." 

"Not happy with her?"

"I didn't say that. On the contrary, I love being with her. She's great and she and I really seem to click." Jason went to take another sip of Mountain Dew, only to find his can was empty. "I guess maybe today I started to wonder if me being happy was wrongly taking priority over someone's marriage. I mean, if Carson signs the papers and all, and it's over, then that's something else. But they're still married... Well, I suppose if later down the road I saw Kyle and Alice split, I'd think about seeing them as they were today, and about their promises. And maybe I owe that to Misty and Carson too." 

Con was quiet for several moments as a caring smile spread on his lips. "That's quite a switch there, Hotshot." 

"You think I'm crazy?"

"No, but I do wonder what you'll do now."

"That's a good question." Jason tried to focus on the chess game again, but found he still couldn't. "I really care about her, Con. And she needs someone, especially with the baby coming and all... What would you do?" 

"Mm..." Con moved his rook, giving him time to think. "I'm not sure. While you are afraid now you're hindering a commitment between two people, you yourself have also made a commitment." 

"Yeah." Jason scooted back to fold his arms on the table, then rest his chin on his hands. "When did life get so complicated?" 

Con chuckled. "When Adam and Eve sinned." He waited until Jason looked up at him. "But for what it's worth, I think maybe you had that lightbulb moment for a reason - whether to change your actions or just give you some insights. My advice is to sit on it a wile and see how you feel again in a few days."

No worry

Giving a smile to Jared Grace moves slowly. She had no fear of him and what he once was. There was something in his eyes that told her that no longer was he like that and with her, things were completely different.

   "Mmm...lets see if I can do this without hurting you."

Moving Grace gets over Jared and lowers herself down on top of him. Wrapping her arms around his neck Grace leans into him again and places a kiss on his nose before backing away and leaning her for head against his.

   "I dont think you have to worry about keeping me happy. You do just fine with that and being..you."

Kissing his nose and than working her way down to his lips Grace presses them to his once more. Soaking in the moment Grace just let it continue. She was enjoying this attachen, this time alone with Jared it was really nice and she was going to enjoy it.

Continuing to look up at Gunner Bree can see the look in his eyes and in a way she did understand what he was saying. But she understood where the others were coming from too. Its not that Gunner would implode or she thought they just worried.

   "They are just worried that the way you are going about everything, and being obsessed is unhealthy. In a way...it is. I do understand where your coming from in wanting to find the missing piece its just..."

Bree stopped there she didn't know what she was trying to say. She was bad at explain herself sometimes, and this was one of those times. She new what she wanted to say she just didn't know how. She just hoped that soon Gunner would be done with this and they could move on with life. Till than life would be on a stand still.

   "I hope you can find it soon."

Implode

A grin made Jared's mouth twitch. Yes...he'd been told before that he was a good kisser. He moved his hand to gently caress Grace's cheek, while his eyes searched hers. "I only care about your opinion," he finally answered. "My only problem now is keeping you happy..." 

Returning once more to her lips, he allowed his kiss to deepen and linger. Kissing her was different from kissing other women. Perhaps it was her. Perhaps it was because he actually cared. Maybe it was a combination of the two. No matter...he was enjoying this and didn't want it to end. 

It wasn't as easy as he'd like - being unable to move around presented few options, and none were very comfortable. Gently breaking their kiss, he ran his hand through Grace's hair and smiled. "I may not be able to use my legs much," he whispered, "but they make a great place to sit." If she'd sit in is his lap, he could actually hold her, but he'd leave it up to her.

Gunner wrapped his arms around Bree too, and sighed before nuzzling is face down into her neck. "I know you want to help," he mumbled. "And I really appreciate it. It's just...talking has never helped. And I don't even know what kind of research anybody can do at this point." 

He lifted his head to finally look at Bree. "I just know there's a missing piece, and nobody will just let me be enough for me to find it. It's like I'm either held back or there are too many cooks in the kitchen - I just need room. But Hope and Reese think I'm gonna implode or something, I dunno." 

Did you kow

Watching Carson Misty can feel a tight hand around her heart. She was still angry at Carson but it still hurt to see him so sad and out of it. She could hear the pain in is voice and it cut her heart deep. There was something about the look that was in his eye that made Misty feel conflicted. She hated seeing anyone so depressed.

Turning around again to put stuff away and clean up Misty lets out a long sigh as a tear rolls down her cheek. When Carson was around she could feel the pain so deep, but when he was gone things where ok and she new where he life was going. She was with Jason and she cared about him. She didn't need anything more than that. He had been so good to her and yet, it still hurt.

Taking in Jared's kiss Grace lets her eyes fall shut slightly letting her emotions soak in Jared's kiss. As he pulls away she opens she eyes and smile till he comes back for some more. Letting her hand creep up his back and hold him close to her. Her other hand to the back of his head. Pulling away for a little bit she smiles again.

   "Mmmm...did anyone ever tell you your good at kissing?"

Setting her pizza down Bree pulls her legs up on the couch ad she moves closer to Gunner. Putting her arm over his stomach and leaning her on his chest Bree help Gunner. He might be bigger than she was but she still liked still comforting him.

   "Hope can help you. Maybe we both don't know how but...she's good good like that and knows what she is doing."

Letting out a small sigh Bree leans her head up to look at Gunner a little better. He looked so tired and stressed. She wished there was more she could do or say to help him but she didn't know what else to do.
She could be there, and listen to him when he talked but if he wasn't talking than what could she do?

   "I can help you with anything...research, looking up old files, anything. I am simply willing to listen as well. Your never a bother, or stress me out with anything you say. I always will listen to you."

No idea

Toss it away? Misty's words wedged themselves in Carson's mind. Never had he even once tossed his home life away. It may have looked that way, but never had that been his desire. All he'd wanted was to protect Misty's life. He'd told her that. He'd told everybody that. She knew good and well that not being allowed home had not been his decision - he'd begged her to take him back. Her words hurt. They angered him. They made him want to cry all the more. He was lucky she was patching him up at all. With the way she hated him, it was amazing she didn't just turn him away and let him bleed.

Biting his tongue, Carson remained silent, even when Misty continued. He had nothing left with which to fight. He had used all he had to try and regain what he'd lost. But all today proved was that he was no nearer his marriage now than the day he'd been forced to walk out. 

When Misty finished, Carson just sat for several moments, staring at the floor. He knew he needed to leave though. If not to go back to work, then to leave Misty be. He knew good and well that if he tried to talk to her any more, he'd be surrounded by guys protecting her. And no matter what he said...nothing would do any good. It was like talking to a brick wall.

Carson finally stood up and dared a last glance at Misty. "Thanks for taking time to patch me up," he mentioned meekly. "Next time I'll call to see if Rick's in, or go to the ER instead. I'm sorry you had to deal with me. I know I'm not really worth the effort anymore; especially when you got so much good going for ya." 

It was a sober smile offered before he turned to leave. He'd find his own pain killers to ward off the throbbing in his hand he knew would come later. He wouldn't make Misty deal with him any more. 

Back out on the main floor, he avoided eye contact with anybody before he slipped outside again and to his car. Work. He needed to concentrate on work. He couldn't abandon Aerith and Thirteen.

Jared grinned, hoping that the look in Grace's eye that said she was enjoying this was not lying. "Good..." 

Ignoring the television, he leaned in closer, cocking his head just a little. His eyes locked with hers, even as he neared. His lips brushed hers ever so lightly before he pulled back just far enough to kiss her lightly across her check, almost to her neck, then back to her lips. His hand crept behind her head, his fingers interlacing with her soft locks of hair. 

Kissing her a little more firmly, he tested her to see what kind of mood she was in.

Gunner nodded lamely, wishing this whole thing was just easier. Easier on him. Easier on Bree. He'd known she wouldn't be upset with him, or blame him, but he still didn't like exposing his weaknesses. 

"I know...I just..." He shrugged, while his eyes remained glued to his half-eaten pizza. "It's hard to talk about when I don't even know what I'm feeling or why. It's like I'm not the one in control of my own thoughts." 

Abandoning his food entirely, he leaned back in the couch and sighed. His eyes avoided Bree though. "I dunno...You ask what's wrong, and I don't even know myself. It's not like I don't trust you, I just...don't know what to say, and...I have no idea how you can help, let alone Hope."

Different Meaning

Continuing to watch Carson for a long moment Misty could see the pain in his eyes. Part of her wanted to say good to his face. He's made her suffer so much what goes around comes around, but part of her new as a growing Christian that was not the right thing to do and she felt a little compassion. She did feel bad for him, and she did wish things would of gone differently but he'd done this to himself for not being honest and make her believe something that was not true.

   "Home is a funny word after you decide to toss it all away Carson...no matter the reason."

Dropping her hands from Carson's Misty goes back to the counter and gets some bandages to wrap up his hand to keep it clean. Letting out a small sigh Misty could feel her own tears building in her eyes. It was still hard to see him and not think about everything that happened. On top of that with the life growing inside her she was starting to get moody and more emotional.

Turning around and going back to Carson Misty takes his hand again and start wrapping it. She tried to do it quickly but that made her hands shake more than they already were. So many emotions still ran with her because of this man. Love, hate, anger...she hated this, and she hated how she felt when Carson was around.

   "I'm truly am sorry things didn't go how you thought they would Carson but I can't just brush that under the rug. I can't do it anymore."

Finishing with his hand Misty takes a few steps backward looking up at Carson once more. He looked horrible, she felt bad, but she had to hold her ground. This had gone on enough and if Carson hadn't changed would he ever? He seemed like he was start to now but he seemed like that before too. On top of that she had Jason now, and she was falling for him. He was so good to her, and his company was wonderful. Life seemed right and the way she had wanted it for a long time. She couldn't just throw that away.

   "Ok, you are all set."

Feeling Jared's finger on her face Grace leans her head into his hand a little bit looking up at him. Her eyes sparkled as she looked back into his own. She loved this feeling he gave her and the softness of him. She could never thing he had been any other way.

   "Anything with you is worth a kiss."

Listing to Gunner intently Bree just sipped her rootbeer float. When she had come over this afternoon she could tell something was wrong. Gunner just didn't seem himself and the long look on his face confirmed it. Now hearing everything he had to say she understood and wondered if this was the end resalt to what was bothering him all week.

   "Seeing Hope is not to bad. I like her, she is nice, smart. and really enjoys helping people even with the littlest of problems."

Taking another sip and searching Gunner's face Bree did feel bad for him. She new how much this bothered him and and she wish there was more she could do. But if this had been the problem than it should be fixed so it didn't torcher Gunner anymore.

   "So, I want to help you with your mission. If you had told me sooner I would be already. Next time tell me...ok? I'll love you no matter what."

I just want...

Carson bit his lip to keep from wincing as Misty started working on his hand. Even so, it had been so long since she'd touched him at all, that he almost didn't mind the pain. 

He sighed at her comment about taking care of himself. "I know..." He removed his eyes from his hand. "I tried to make myself a grilled cheese sandwich the other night," he explained softly. "But it just didn't taste as good as yours." He paused to swallow hard. "And when I close my eyes at night, all I see is your face. So I don't want to go to sleep, for fear I'll miss out on seeing you more." 

Oh, how he missed her. He wished Rick would have been here today. He wished he could have just come, let Rick fix him up, then leave. But instead, he was caught in a sudden tidal wave of emotions. "I just want to come home," he almost whispered.

His eyes began to glisten and he quickly rubbed out any tears with his free hand. "Man, that hurts." It was foolish of him to believe Misty would think he was crying because of his hand - physical pain had always meant little to him. But he felt even more foolish for letting his emotions get the best of him while being with her. She didn't need to see a crying idiot. She hated his guts and would just think him all the more a fool. Even so...he had to work hard at keeping any more tears from surfacing.

Jared was so glad that Grace had been enjoying the evening. He'd really been afraid that his efforts were rather corny, but it all seemed to have come off well. It was worth his exhaustion and physical pain. 

"Good...I'm glad." He reached over to set a light finger under her chin and tilt her face up at his. "Is it worth a kiss to you?" he asked softly.

Gunner chuckles at Bree, thankful for her sense of humor. "Yeah - no root, root beer sounds good. I'll see you later then." 

It wasn't until later when Bree was at his apartment and they were eating pizza in the living room that Gunner finally told her what was going on. He knew she'd just question even more, as he had been picking at the same piece of pizza for a while now, when usually he devoured a whole lot more than that. 

"Reese put me on an indefinite leave of absence today..." He rested his elbows on his knees with his plate on the coffee table, and kept his eyes busy on his food as he managed another small bite.

"Seems he didn't like it that I started digging up the past again about the accident." Had Bree already figured it out? He wondered. "Guess he thinks I'm going all obsessive or something again - although I haven't held a knife to anybody's throat since your uncle." That much was true. He hadn't resorted to violence this time around. 

He shrugged lamely. "He wants me to start seeing Hope so she can try to fix me. Until he's satisfied though...I'm not supposed to work." He picked up his pizza to take another bite, but changed his mind and set it back down again. "Even took my badge and gun," he concluded lamely. 

No Root

Looking at Carson's hand as it continued to bleed Misty was liable to just let him sit there and bleed. But that would put her own job in danger not to mention her own morals of letting someone just sit there and die. Letting out a long sigh and shaking her head Misty takes his hand in her own before taking some peroxide and dumping it over top of it.

   "Next time don't get in a fight with a knife. It's not very smart, makes a mess, and takes to much time to stitch."

Taking a cloth and patting the wound Misty hold the cloth there for a second before looking up at Carson. Looking into his eyes for a second Misty could see how tired he was, how little he had been eating, and how it seemed like he just didn't care.

   "You look like your not sleeping, or eating. You should take better care of yourself."

Removing the cloth Misty works quickly numb the area and start to sew it up. She new Carson a little pain and if he could feel still a little she didn't mind to much. In a way after everything happening she still wanted Carson to feel a little pain she had felt.

   "Stay still."

Sitting back and taking the remote Grace shakes her head a little bit and a smile slips on her lips. Flipping through the channels Grace finally lands on some cheesy romance comedy.  She wasn't totally sure what it was but it looked halfway decent.

   "No no, thank you Jared for having me over. I have enjoyed myself greatly. Tonight has been wonderful."

Answering her phone seeing it was Gunner Bree was happy that he was calling. Stepping into one of the bedrooms she wanted a little quiet to answer the phone.

    "Hey there Babe."

Hearing that Gunner wanted to stay in Bree let out a small sigh of re leaf. She thought he was going to cancle again but she was happy that he didn't. She didnt mind what they did as long as it was together.

   "I think pizza tonight sounds great. Want me to bring the root-beer without the root?"

Stitches

Carson bit his lip, sensing Misty's irritation. He hadn't meant to upset her. He'd assumed Rick would be here. He didn't want to put any undue stress on Misty, and would just as soon leave if his hand would quit bleeding. 

Sighing, he did as he was told and sits on the table. His eyes watched Misty at the counter. She was showing more now, which just made Carson's heart hurt even more that he could have no part in her experience of carrying their child. At least she looked good. Beautiful as ever, in fact. That must mean she was doing well, so that was good. He was miserable, but if it took being apart to make her happy then...maybe it really was for the best. How had they gotten this far to not even be friends? 

He'd forgotten what he was doing here. Clearing his throat, he started to unwrap the towel. "I got in a fight with a knife... and lost." 

He held his palm up for Misty to see the deep gash that was still bleeding. It hurt like no tomorrow, but he tried not to let it show. "I rinsed it out and tried to stop the bleeding but it just won't quit. Figured it would probably need stitches or something." 

"Nope." Jared handed Grace the remote. "You're in charge." In truth, he just really didn't know what to look for, or what Grace would want to watch. Leaving it up to her was the best option. 

He glanced over at her and grinned before moving his arm to put it around her shoulders, hoping she wouldn't mind. "Thanks for coming over tonight," he mentioned softly. "I've enjoyed your company." 

Gunner stood and took the paper from Hope, reading it before looking back at her again. "Friday, huh?" By the tone of his voice, one couldn't be sure if he'd actually show up or not. He turned to leave, waving the prescription over his shoulder. "Thanks." 

After driving around, sitting, sulking, and driving some more, Gunner eventually wound up back at his apartment. It was late afternoon and he knew that he needed to call Bree. They were supposed to do dinner tonight if he was feeling up to it, and he wasn't so sure that he was. But he also knew that now being off work for who knew how long, she had a right to know about it. 

Sacked out on his couch, he eventually called Bree's cell phone, hoping she was at a point where she could answer. 

"Hey, it's me..." He sighed. "It's been a long day. Wanna come to my apartment tonight and just order pizza?"

Her job

Looking up as the door opens Misty was slightly surprised to see Carson. Though it slightly irritated her to see him she let out a sigh. She had to at least be nice, it looks like he really did need a doctor. Glancing at his hand and than up at him Misty stands. It figured Rick would be gone.

   "No he's off today. But I can't very well tell you to go away can I. go sit down and tell me what happened."

Going over to the counter Misty pulls out a few things she thinks she might need. She didn't quite know what was going on yet but she had a good idea from all the blood. More importantly was Misty was trying to keep herself calm, and no up tight. She didn't like seeing Carson but this was her job and she had too.

Shaking her head at Jared Grace finishes cleaning up letting Jared go and get comfortable. She new it might take a little more time for him to get comfortable and Grace didn't want to feel awkward. She just wanted to make sure that tonight he would feel a little better.

Finally finished Grace heads into the living room and gives Jared a smile. Seeing him comfortable she shakes her head a little bit and sits down next to him. Leaning her head on his shoulder Grace looks up at him a little bit.

   "Find anything good?"

   "Ok I can do that for you."

Reaching into her draw again Hope pulls out a pad of paper and a pen. Jotting down a script for Gunner it was something light to help him sleep but would help. She didn't want anything to heavy after all. Reaching over the desk and handing it to Gunner she smiles.

   "Here you go. Get some rest and you can come see me anytime again. But I will set our next session for friday afternoon."

Hope new Gunner didn't like this and she hated making him come but she had too. It was important, and if it even helped Gunner have a little peace of mind, than it really was worth it.

Wounded

Gunner didn't know how Hope would help. She was no investigator, and he'd uncovered just about all the leads there were. But at this point, she was the only one who had offered, so he couldn't be mad about that. At least she hadn't started in on some psychology mumbojumbo, other than the "non-obsessive" manner in which he was supposed to conduct himself...which he wasn't exactly sure how to accomplish, but at this point, he wasn't going to ask. 

Her offer to give him something to help him sleep brought his eyes back up again. It was pretty tempting. He was so tired, even after having caught a few hours of sleep here at work. It just seemed any sleep he got was never restful anymore. 

He eventually nodded. "Yeah..." His tone had dropped - the anger was gone for now. "That would be nice." 

Jared nodded his approval, hiding a little smile. It sounded like a pretty good idea to him. He loved Grace's laugh, and having a bit of cuddle time, well...he wasn't going to say no to that. 

"Alright," he agreed. "I'm sure we can find something to watch." He helped clear things from the table, but let Grace do most of it. He didn't want to admit how much he was hurting right now after all the activities of the day. 

Only after getting to the living room did he stop and wonder how this was going to work. Still in his wheelchair, he glanced to the couch, to his legs, to the couch, then up at Grace. "Hmm." A new sheepish sort of grin slipped out, but he wouldn't admit why. He'd had some good ideas, but hadn't thought about the fact that he couldn't maneuver very well, let alone get in a good comfy position on the couch. 

Making do, he did accomplish getting from his wheelchair to the couch, allowing Grace to help. Putting his feet up on the coffee table was as good as it was going to get for him. 

Carson chuckled and nodded. "You're welcome." Since she'd started working here, Thirteen had kind of grown on him. She was sweet and caring, and did her best, even on days when she struggled with fears. Overall, he'd seen an improvement in her, and was glad to see her adjusting so well. That many years of being with the Agency was hard to overcome, but she was getting there, little by little, and he could see it. 

Getting back to work, Carson tried to concentrate again. Whether he liked it or not, this was his job and livelihood. He couldn't afford to sit and stare off in space all day, even if he wanted to. 

It wasn't until he was cleaning dishes later in the day that things took a nosedive again. Dropping a knife, reflexes kicked in and he grabbed for it, only to catch the blade by mistake. By the time the knife hit the floor, it already had Carson's blood on it. 

Grasping his left hand, Carson winced in pain. "That was real smart, Carson," he grumbled under his breath. After rinsing the wound in his palm and going through numerous paper towels, it was pretty obvious that he wasn't going to get the bleeding to stop on his own. And of course...it was a busy afternoon for the restaurant. 

He shed his apron and wrapped a towel around his hand, trying to at least slow the blood flow. "Aerith?" he called. Waiting for her to appear, he nods her into the kitchen. "Take over here for just a few minutes, would you? I just cut my hand and I think it's gonna need stitches. Don't let Thirteen worry though. If you need help, call Herb." 

He didn't wait for a response. He knew Aerith was responsible enough to take over, and he didn't want to waste any more time standing around chatting. It was a short drive to TJY. He'd rather go there than the ER at the hospital. Even with all the looks of question he got when he entered the building, at least this was better than strange doctors and nurses, not to mention a higher medical bill. 

Carson only stopped when he pushed open the door of the infirmary. Unfortunately...Rick wasn't there. Only Misty.

Stopping short, he looked to Misty and swallowed hard. His hand was still wrapped in a towel with blood starting to seep through. And all of a sudden Carson was taken back to what seemed a lifetime ago. He'd been in a similar predicament before...but it had been his finger he'd cut, and Misty had come to the restaurant to patch him up. They'd been apart for so long...but her coming to his rescue had ended with a kiss and both of them admitting they'd missed each other. 

Pain coursed through Carson's eyes. But not from the wound in his hand....rather, it was the wound in his heart. 

"Um..." He tried to get his brain to function again. He'd assumed he'd walk in and Rick would be here. What he didn't know was that Rick had taken the afternoon off. "I'm sorry...um... Is Rick here?"

Pumpkin

Cocking her head Hope just listens to Gunner. Not saying a word, not making a sound but just listing. Hope new he needed to vent and she would let him. What he said didn't offend her, or make her angry. He was talking, venting something he needed to do any Hope would never scold him for that no matter what he said.

  "You want help finding the truth than let me help you find the truth and a healthy none obsessive manor. I want to help you and if that means finding the truth than I will. I don't pretent to know what your going through Gunner, but through God I can do what I can to try and understand."

Hope wasn't the enemy though many people would argue with the way she did thing or what she had forced people to do. It was all out of love and caring that she did what she did. Cocking her head a little bit Hope smiled softly. That rant alone Gunner had was a good step twords the right direction already.

   "Go home, get some rest. Would you like something to help you sleep without dreams? At least than you will have a clear head?"

Seeing the sad look in Carson's eyes Thirteen new he was thinking about Misty for a moment. He always got the same sad look when he thought, talked, or someone made mention of her. Thirteen felt bad, and though she didn't understand the whole thing she new it stemmed from The Agency and she hated it.

   "I wont forget. Ryder is working late tonight and I haven't quite gotten the hang of cooking on our gas stove yet. So those will be dinner for sure. Thanks Carson."

She liked working here, and she liked Carson. He was a good mad, human just like all of them. Thirteen liked working for him, and spending her time here. This was her safe haven, her get away, here she felt safe too.

Helping clear the table Grace was happy to help clean. Jared had made dinner so she could help him clean up. It was a join effort and she didn't mind one bit. Placing the dishes into the dishwasher Grace turns a little to look at Jared and smile. 

   "I have off from work tomorrow so I kinda dont have a time limit. However I do need to be home by midnight or I will turn into a pumpkin."

Grace can't help the grin the played on her lips. She liked this alone time in the house with Jared. It was nice just being them and enjoying the joking, and time together.

   "Lets watch something funny. I am in a giggle mood at the moment and we can cuddle together."

Spouting Off

Gunner hadn't moved from his seat in Hope's office, although his anger had subsided just a little by the time she came. He was still angry, but feeling less like he wanted to hit somebody.

Unwilling to look at her, his dark eyes stared at the floor, and he remained slouched in the chair. "Oh, people wanna help me alright," he retorted. "They all wanna help fix me. Change me. Just because they don't understand. It's the fact that nobody wants to help me find the truth - the only kind of help I want, and I get punished for it."

He scuffed his boot on the floor, making little ridges in the carpet.  If anyone were to observe, they might see a little boy acting as though he'd just been grounded for misbehaving.

"Reese didn't have his childhood ripped out from under him," he continued angrily. "He doesn't have nightmares, seeing his parents die night after night after night. He isn't tormented enough to want to go put a bullet in his brain every morning. Yet he thinks he knows what's best for me! He thinks taking away my privileges, like I'm his teenage boy, is what will work. Just 'cause I went a little too far last time, he thinks he's got it made by taking away my badge. That doesn't do anything but take away his responsibility. If I'm not on duty, then I can't go do anything stupid in the name of the Elite and have him be liable for it. All he's doing is taking care of his own rear end!"

Yet even as he finally looked up at Hope to give her a fiery glare, somewhere, deep down - way deep down - there was relief. Relief that he didn't have to worry about his job right now. Relief that he could now take time to focus on himself rather than the Elite. Relief that someone was forcing him to take care of his issues.

"I know I got problems," he grumbled. "I know I'm just a little off kilter. I always have been, ever since I got a metal plate fused to my skull. And so? I get a bit obsessed. I can't help it. I try to forget about it, and it comes back again and again. So sue me for being too tired to fight it anymore! Ridicule me for giving in and digging for the truth again."

His eyes blazed as he stared at Hope. "It's not my fault all of this came back again. It's not my fault that almost every night I wake up and think I'm in the hospital again after the accident. Reese thinks he knows my problems? If he had the same nightmares with the same degree of violence every night, he'd want to go walk off a bridge too."

Tears burned just under the surface, proving that more than just anger existed in Gunner right now. "I've been living on caffeine and adrenaline because I can't get a decent night's sleep." His voice cracked as he tried to hold himself together. "Yet I'm punished for not focusing on my job. I'm hounded for answers when I don't even have any. My fiance keeps asking me what's wrong and I don't even know how to respond. Nothing is wrong, other than the fact that I'm losing my sanity, and all anybody cares about is whether or not I'm getting to work on time!"

By now, he'd straightened in his seat and his leg was bouncing again. His body was tight and ready to bolt for the door. "I chased ghosts for years, I blamed myself, tried to kill myself, then I finally thought I'd let it go. Now it's back just as strongly as it was before. The nightmares, the obsession... all of it. All I want to do is solve that stupid case...or just forget the whole thing and finally see my parents again." It was the final statement that finally brought Gunner's eyes back to the floor as he paused. "I just wanna go home and sleep," he ended. "I'm too tired to deal with all this garbage."

Carson forced a little half smile at Thirteen. "Naw...I guess I'm not really okay. Not much anybody can do about it though."

His last visit with Mackenzie had been tough. Not because of her, or even Alec, but because there had been many comments about Misty and Jason. It wasn't Mackenzie's fault - she was just excited about having been with them and liked telling Carson about what she'd been doing. Carson enjoyed seeing his daughter happy, but there was a part of him that didn't want to hear any more. He missed Misty desperately, and hearing about her and Jason didn't help. He'd been so determined, and now...he wondered if it really was a losing battle. He wondered if he really should finally surrender to the inevitable fact that he'd never get his wife back again.

Still looking up at Thirteen, he tried to shrug it off. "Let's just say I'm glad you and Aerith have stuck around - not many people have, and...I appreciate it." He did, too. Phil had come around a few times, but he still hadn't seen Axel at all, and nobody from the Elite would give him the time of day, not to mention Reese hadn't used him at all on any cases lately. He didn't blame anybody, but it felt as though his life was getting more and more cramped every day. All he had was the restaurant. That was it. And sometimes...every once in a while...he wondered where he'd be if he'd never been touched by Jamie or caught by the Elite in the first place.

Standing up, he gave Thirteen's shoulder a pat. "Don't forget to take the leftovers in the fridge when you leave this afternoon." 

Starting the meal with Grace, Jared smiled. "You're welcome." To him, the effort was totally worth it. Grace was worth it. If not for her, well...he wasn't sure what kind of shape he'd be in right now. She deserved a whole lot more than he could give, that was for sure. 

Having dinner with her was nice. And even though it was really a date, the atmosphere wasn't awkward in the least, which made it even more enjoyable. It was only as they were finishing up dessert that Jared sat back and just watched Grace for a few minutes. He didn't rightly know what to do now. Innocent dates weren't exactly something he was experienced with. To have had dinner without plans to keep a girl all night was not his normal pattern.

"I don't know if there's anything good on tv tonight," he mentioned with a shrug. There wasn't much else to do - or much else he could do. "Then again, I don't know when you've gotta go home either." 

So why

Taking some potholders along with the big wooden bored Thirteen goes to the oven and pulls the pizza that had been cooking out. Setting it down into the pizza box and than cutting the pizza Thirteen turns around. Seeing Carson sitting down she cocks her head a little bit to the side before walking over to the table. Carson looked...tired today.
  
   "Are you ok Carson?"

Following Jared with her own plate of food to the table a smile spreads on her lips seeing the candles. Jared went though so much to make this possible tonight she didn't mind one bit that the food came from somewhere else.

   "That is completely ok with me. Its the thought that counts and I can tell much thought went into this weather you cooked it yourself or not."

Getting settled with Jared the smile never left Grace's face. Saying a little prayer and than taking a bite of food Grace couldn't help the small murmur of pleasure that escaped her lips. This was one of the best things she has tasted in a long while. It was amazing, and oh so good.

   "Wow Jared you really outdid yourself. Thank you."

Sitting still while Reese calls in Gunner things dident really go how Hope thought it was going too. She was suprised by Reese but pleased too. Gunner needed this weither he thought he did or not. She could see the pain on Gunner's face and in his eyes but is was that slight hidden releaf that new Reese did the right thing as well. Others might not catch on to it because Gunner hid it well but she could see it.

   "I think that is a good thing Reese. You made the right choose."

Leaving Reese office Hope takes a little bit of time before going back to her own. She new Gunner was upset and he would be for a while but she wanted him to cool down at least a little bit. So doing a few things on the main floor would leave room for that.

A little time passed and Hope finally when back to her office. Opening the door and going to her desk she pulls a manilla envelop from her draw with Gunner's name on it. It was his old file and she would just add to it. Sitting and studing Gunner for a long second Hope cocked her head to one side.

   "So Gunner, I'd like to start out seeing your twice a week and we can go from there. Why do you think no one wants to help you? I am willing to try."

Sulking

Gunner still refused to look up at Hope, even when she said she'd be talking to Reese. It was fine. She could talk to Reese. He didn't care. Nothing would change. Gunner hadn't done anything against the rulebook this time, which meant Reese couldn't have any complaints. 

It was only after several quiet moments that Gunner realized Hope had walked away. Maybe what she'd said was just an idle threat anyway. She, nor anybody else, could control him. 

Gathering up the papers on his desk, he shoved them into his filing drawer before attempting to focus on Elite work. Maybe over lunch he'd go home and take a nap. Until then, he'd accomplish enough to keep Reese happy...

Reese, however, was not happy when hearing what Hope had to say. Sighing deeply, he shook his head. "I was afraid of that." He leaned back in his chair before gesturing to his computer. "Just this morning, I had Dalton find out what Gunner's been doing on his computer lately, and...most wasn't connected to any current cases. Now I know why." 

Falling silent, he studied Hope's face for several moments, trying to read her. He knew she was right. He knew something needed to be done. Work aside, he cared about Gunner's well being, and knew that continuing down this path would only lead to worse things, whether it was crossing moral lines again, or heading for dangerous depression. Neither was good. 

He held up a finger for Hope to wait, then picked up his phone. "Gunner? Would you come to my office please? Thank you." After hanging up, he still said nothing, but waited, confident that Hope would also wait and back him up on his decision. 

It only took a minute for Gunner to show up. Stepping into the office, he glanced from Reese to Hope, then back again. He didn't like this. Not one bit. "Yeah, what's up? You wanna talk about that surveillance I'm supposed to do tomorrow with Pete?" 

"No." Reese straightened, his face remaining serious and his tone calm but firm. "Gunner, starting now, you are on an indefinite leave of absence."

Gunner blinked. "What? But-"

"And in light of the past, I'm going to ask you to temporarily turn in your badge." 

Gunner glanced at Hope again, pain flashing in his eyes. "You can't-"

"I can." Reese was unwilling to back down. If Hope came to him, then this was already serious and had to be treated as such. He held out his hand. 

Gunner scoffed as his eyes went to the floor. "This is the stupidest-"

"Now, please." Reese's voice had grown more stern. 

Gunner didn't move for a moment or two, but finally took his badge off his belt and tossed it onto Reese's desk. "Happy?"

"Nope. I need one more thing." 

It was all Gunner could do to not blow up. This was all so stupid. It was ridiculous, the way he was being treated. It was like he was some little kid that Reese and Hope just wanted to order around. It wasn't fair, and it would accomplish nothing. With gritted teeth, he took his sidearm from its holster and slapped it into Reese's open palm. "There. Now am I supposed to go home and sit on my sorry rear end for three weeks or what? Take away my freedom like some caged animal and-"

"You're on a mandatory schedule of sessions with Hope, starting today, with a frequency of her choice, and you will not return to work until she recommends it."  

"Are you out of your mind?!" 

"Do you want to keep your job?"

Reese's question brought a sudden silence to the air. By now, Gunner's uncaring expression had turned to one of anger. "So you're telling me that I gotta talk to some stupid shrink, or else I'm fired? Because of what? Because I care about my past? Because I have a thing about finding the truth? Seriously?" 

Reese remained calm. "Hope is far from a stupid shrink, and no, this has nothing to do about how much you care about the truth. It's about you taking things too far. Again. It's about you getting help."

"I don't need help!" Gunner's yelled statement hung in the silent air. He looked between Reese and Hope, desperate, yet unable to win this fight. Not unless he wanted to quit his job, and it was still too important to him at this point. Throwing up his arms, he spun around and stalked for the door, letting it slam shut behind him. 

Reese cringed before he looked over at Hope. "Well...he didn't quit. That's a good thing, right?" 

Gunner stomped across the floor, almost running into Susanne, but he didn't care. He ignored all the strange looks thrown his wait, and headed straight for Hope's office. Letting himself in, he flopped down in a chair to sulk until she showed up again.

Jared was already grinning, but it widened into a smile with Grace's kiss to his cheek. "Like I'm gonna complain about you sticking close," he teased. "Here, you can take these glasses of water." Having trouble enough the way it was, he let Grace help him before returning the pitcher to the refrigerator.

"I...do have a confession to make," he admitted as he wheeled to the stove and opened it to reveal the two plates of food covered in foil to keep warm. "Well...two, actually."

He reached in and gave Grace one plate, then took the other for himself. "My first confession is that Ma's at Bible study tonight, so...we get to dine alone. And, my second confession..." He set his plate on his lap so he could wheel towards the dining room. The table was set very nicely, and his candles burned bright with the overhead lighting dimmed just a little for a warm atmosphere.

He stopped at the table and glanced up at Grace with a sheepish expression. "I could just let you think I'm Superman, but I have a feeling you're too smart to believe that anyway." He gestured to the food. "You can thank me for the salad - I cut up the lettuce and tossed it all by myself. Oh, and I poured the water - you saw that. But as far as what smells so good for the main course...it should taste great because I had it brought in from a restaurant downtown."

He shrugged and quirked a silly little grin. "You said earlier you thought I was probably a good cook. Well...I did learn a thing or two from my mom, but with me in this confounded chair, I'd been doing good if I coulda whipped up some mac and cheese. And I wanted something a bit more special than that for you tonight. So I hope you like beef that'll melt in your mouth."  

 "Huh?" Carson had been lost in his own little world not having even noticed Thirteen's presence in the kitchen. "Oh, um... yeah, you can grab that pizza coming out." He gestured to the oven. "Thanks." 

Wiping his hands on a towel, he sunk down in a chair to rest. It had been a busy noon hour, and he was exhausted. Not that it was due to a busy lunch hour. He felt exhausted most days lately without any apparent reason...other than stress. 

Sinking down on the edge of his bed, Trent held his cell phone in his hands. A lump had risen in his throat, and he hadn't gone right back out to the barn as planned. He'd just come to grab his other pair of gloves and had happened to check his phone. But hearing Jasmine's message had caused him to forget what he'd been doing. 

She was so sweet, and it sounded like she was really growing and getting a handle on life. And Trent was missing it. All of it. 

He looked down at his phone and fiddled with the buttons. Dylan's words came back to him, as did the gnawing in his gut...the gnawing that had started long ago. He was so different from everyone else here. They were all close to their families...loving...caring...keeping in touch at the very least. And he and Jasmine, well...it was no fault of hers - she tried everything she could to have a relationship with him. He was the one that...

Trent sighed. Pocketing his phone, he stood and wandered to his desk to open up his laptop. And getting on the internet, he checked a list of flight schedules.