Shaking his head Nate moves from his kneeled position to sitting down just watching Garret. Just letting Garret ramble Nate did his best to keep up. Though some spots seemed lost he did get the general idea of what had happened, and why Garret felt the way he did. It all seemed to fit into place like a puzzle and a better understanding on the man that sat in front of him was becoming clear.
Finally as Garret stopped talking Nate was just quite a few more minutes his heart aching for the one he'd like to consider a friend now. Shifting slightly Nate finally talks.
"The janitor or Ty as we like to call him was worried about you, so he in turn called me, and I came not because I had to but because I thought maybe you could use a friend."
Pulling another bottle of water from his pocket Nate takes a sip falling quite and just letting the noises of the room rain for a moment. He'd come down here many times himself to just sit and think, to let time slip away. He understood the power of this room even if everyone else thought it was just a room.
"I can't even start to imagen how it must feel to go through everything you have. There is no even pretending to know how that feels, but I can guess not good at all. Now is the time though to prove everyone wrong. You are you, you took the first step twords being free, and yes it didn't turn out exactly how you wanted it right away but its a step in the right direction and though it dosn't feel like it we DO care about you. That's why you are still here, that is why I am here, and thats why you have a little bit of freedom at the moment."
Now the mention of Victoria sent a pain in Nate's heart. He'd lost Laura once, and it hurt so bad. A lost love is never easy to deal with.
"I dont think Victoria left because she didn't think you were worth it. She just saw the world differently. Losing someone you love hurts, I know that because before I got married to my wife it happened to me. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but you never know you might be surprised and see Victoria again. Hope is what drives us in this life, and if there is any words of wisdom I can tell you its never lose hope, even when everything seemed hopeless."
Entering the room with Eric Stacy couldn't help her own little knot of excitement in her stomach. Ashlee's father had never see her when she was born, he was off doing whatever. She'd never seen that look in his eye, or the smile that spread across his face. But now, thanks to Eric she got to see what she had missed. Some might think it was still, and didn't make sense but to her Eric had helped fill that small empty part.
"It looks like she likes you."
Coming up along side Eric and standing close to him Stacy reaches down and lets the tiny baby grab her finger. Such strength in someone so small. Maybe they all could take a lesson from this sweet innocent girls.
"I don't think they are every going to have a doubt if they are loved or not. If anything they might get sick of being loved to much."
Stacy gives a chuckle as she looks to Eric and gives a smile. Hearing the other baby start to make noise Stacy moves to her side and picks her up gently rocking her and humming. Looking to Eric again something accrued to her.
"You know being there father you are going to still have to pick out names for them. We can't keep calling them baby for the rest of there lifes."
1/5/16
Can't Fix
The music had faded, leaving the dimly lit rec room in still silence. Garret’s ears picked up the sound of approaching footsteps, and he tensed but didn’t move. He only glanced up as Nate entered, but remained on the floor, slouched against the wall. His eyes threw Nate an angry glare. Why was he at work at this hour? Why had he come down here? Why had he brought first aid supplies? Why couldn’t Nate just leave him alone?
Nate’s comment went ignored, but Garret did reach for the bottle of water and took a long swig. It hurt just to hold the bottle, but the water sure felt good sliding down his throat.
Leaning his head back against the wall, he just closed his eyes for a few moments. “Shouldn’t you be at home with your wife and kid?” he muttered. “Or is the janitor just worried he’ll have my mess to clean up in the morning?” There was no other reason for Nate to be here. No one cared enough to be here to help. No one cared if he’d hurt himself. No one would care if he laid here all night in a bloody mess. It’s just the way it was. It’s the way it had always been.
He ignored the first aid supplies, just continuing to soak up the pain from the wounds he’d given himself. “Why don’t you just tell Reese to send me to prison?” The question was filled with irritation, but deeper still was a man on the verge of simply giving up. “No more paying Justin to come. No more watching me like a hawk. No more cleaning up after my messes.” He gestured at the blood he’d gotten on the punching bag and the floor. His eyes finally turned back to Nate, and though not as angry, they were full of pain – physical and emotional. “I’m not worth it. To anyone. Never have been, never will be. I wasn’t even worth it to my own parents, so why should someone like you care?” The words slipped out before he’d even thought about it, and he looked away again to take another swig of water. “I thought I was walking into freedom,” he rerouted his thoughts, “and instead, I walked right into a trap…that I laid for myself. Talk about irony.” He shook his head. “Oh yeah, the mighty Garret, so strong, so smart. Had a plan that was sure to stick and all it did was get him stuck in a new kind of hell.”
He scoffed. “Go ahead. Tell Justin he succeeded in his little mind game. Congratulations to the counselor with the big ideas and relentless - albeit pointless - digging.” By now, his sentences weren’t even making all that much sense anymore. All his thoughts were mixed up and thrown together in one muddy mess. He flexed his fingers, but all it did as make his knuckles start to bleed again.
“Did you know one of the first things they did to me was teach me English and get rid of my accent?” The topic had bounced yet again, in a completely different direction. “New name, new language, new country. New person, right? The original wasn’t good enough.”
The words caught in his throat and before he could stop himself, he’d chucked the half-empty water bottle across the room where it hit the wall, sending water in all directions. “Let’s take a five-year-old and see if we can make a soldier out of him.” His tone had become angry again, and he gritted his teeth against his emotions. Justin had wanted the truth, but he refused to verbalize it. He refused to tell anyone the truth. The truth that he’d been sold by his own parents for money. The truth that he’d had no worth other than that single payment. “Let’s see if he’ll kill someone by the time he’s twelve. Let’s teach him how to seduce by the age of fifteen so he can get it down pat before we send him to China on his first mission. Let’s make him think he’s big stuff so he’ll believe he’s actually important.”
Garret hadn’t realized that he’d been flexing his hands as he’d talked, only making the bleeding worse. His eyes had suddenly become hollow caverns, void of life. “And now let’s keep him under control so he won’t turn. ‘Cause if he does, over thirty years of service won’t mean a hill of beans and he’ll just be a new target to kill.” He paused as he stared at the floor. “Over thirty years,” he repeated more quietly. “And absolutely nothing to show for it. Not even the woman I love, ‘cause I just wasn’t worth it. Never was. Never will be.”
A new glance was tossed in Nate’s direction. “Give up, Nate. You can’t fix thirty years of screwed-up programming.”
Eric grinned as he used Stacy as leverage to stand up, and flexed his leg. “Nah. They’d prolly just figure we were up in the hayloft or somethin’.” He threw her a sly look before taking her hand and interlocking her fingers with his. The hayloft seemed a pretty good idea…but at the moment, there was something a whole lot more important…and a whole lot heavier.
Once at Angel’s, he and Stacy were let into the back room where the babies were currently sleeping. He was glad it was just him and Stacy…he’d rather do this without the eyes of the rest of his family. He knew they meant well, but…he just felt better doing it this way.
Still holding Stacy’s hand, he slowly entered the room, his heart pounding so hard, he feared others might be able to hear it. He could see the tiny bundles in the crib, and his hands trembled as he neared. They were beautiful. He was terrified…but they were beautiful.
One of them stirred and opened her eyes, blinking in the light before she started to cry. Pure instinct drove Eric’s hands as he reached down and picked her up before cradling her close to his chest. “Shhh,” he crooned. “It’s okay.” She immediately ceased crying, and stared up at him to study his face, almost as if she knew.
He smiled as the tears started to silently fall again. He didn’t try to hide his emotions as he looked to Stacy. There was fear. Love. Joy. Worry. And there was righteous anger. “How could any mother do this to her children?” he choked out. Despite everything…despite this not being his plan or how he’d seen his future…holding his daughter in his arms now, like this, he knew instantly there was no way he could ever let either of them go. They were his, and his to stay. And they would never, ever feel unloved for what their mother had done.
Nate’s comment went ignored, but Garret did reach for the bottle of water and took a long swig. It hurt just to hold the bottle, but the water sure felt good sliding down his throat.
Leaning his head back against the wall, he just closed his eyes for a few moments. “Shouldn’t you be at home with your wife and kid?” he muttered. “Or is the janitor just worried he’ll have my mess to clean up in the morning?” There was no other reason for Nate to be here. No one cared enough to be here to help. No one cared if he’d hurt himself. No one would care if he laid here all night in a bloody mess. It’s just the way it was. It’s the way it had always been.
He ignored the first aid supplies, just continuing to soak up the pain from the wounds he’d given himself. “Why don’t you just tell Reese to send me to prison?” The question was filled with irritation, but deeper still was a man on the verge of simply giving up. “No more paying Justin to come. No more watching me like a hawk. No more cleaning up after my messes.” He gestured at the blood he’d gotten on the punching bag and the floor. His eyes finally turned back to Nate, and though not as angry, they were full of pain – physical and emotional. “I’m not worth it. To anyone. Never have been, never will be. I wasn’t even worth it to my own parents, so why should someone like you care?” The words slipped out before he’d even thought about it, and he looked away again to take another swig of water. “I thought I was walking into freedom,” he rerouted his thoughts, “and instead, I walked right into a trap…that I laid for myself. Talk about irony.” He shook his head. “Oh yeah, the mighty Garret, so strong, so smart. Had a plan that was sure to stick and all it did was get him stuck in a new kind of hell.”
He scoffed. “Go ahead. Tell Justin he succeeded in his little mind game. Congratulations to the counselor with the big ideas and relentless - albeit pointless - digging.” By now, his sentences weren’t even making all that much sense anymore. All his thoughts were mixed up and thrown together in one muddy mess. He flexed his fingers, but all it did as make his knuckles start to bleed again.
“Did you know one of the first things they did to me was teach me English and get rid of my accent?” The topic had bounced yet again, in a completely different direction. “New name, new language, new country. New person, right? The original wasn’t good enough.”
The words caught in his throat and before he could stop himself, he’d chucked the half-empty water bottle across the room where it hit the wall, sending water in all directions. “Let’s take a five-year-old and see if we can make a soldier out of him.” His tone had become angry again, and he gritted his teeth against his emotions. Justin had wanted the truth, but he refused to verbalize it. He refused to tell anyone the truth. The truth that he’d been sold by his own parents for money. The truth that he’d had no worth other than that single payment. “Let’s see if he’ll kill someone by the time he’s twelve. Let’s teach him how to seduce by the age of fifteen so he can get it down pat before we send him to China on his first mission. Let’s make him think he’s big stuff so he’ll believe he’s actually important.”
Garret hadn’t realized that he’d been flexing his hands as he’d talked, only making the bleeding worse. His eyes had suddenly become hollow caverns, void of life. “And now let’s keep him under control so he won’t turn. ‘Cause if he does, over thirty years of service won’t mean a hill of beans and he’ll just be a new target to kill.” He paused as he stared at the floor. “Over thirty years,” he repeated more quietly. “And absolutely nothing to show for it. Not even the woman I love, ‘cause I just wasn’t worth it. Never was. Never will be.”
A new glance was tossed in Nate’s direction. “Give up, Nate. You can’t fix thirty years of screwed-up programming.”
Eric grinned as he used Stacy as leverage to stand up, and flexed his leg. “Nah. They’d prolly just figure we were up in the hayloft or somethin’.” He threw her a sly look before taking her hand and interlocking her fingers with his. The hayloft seemed a pretty good idea…but at the moment, there was something a whole lot more important…and a whole lot heavier.
Once at Angel’s, he and Stacy were let into the back room where the babies were currently sleeping. He was glad it was just him and Stacy…he’d rather do this without the eyes of the rest of his family. He knew they meant well, but…he just felt better doing it this way.
Still holding Stacy’s hand, he slowly entered the room, his heart pounding so hard, he feared others might be able to hear it. He could see the tiny bundles in the crib, and his hands trembled as he neared. They were beautiful. He was terrified…but they were beautiful.
One of them stirred and opened her eyes, blinking in the light before she started to cry. Pure instinct drove Eric’s hands as he reached down and picked her up before cradling her close to his chest. “Shhh,” he crooned. “It’s okay.” She immediately ceased crying, and stared up at him to study his face, almost as if she knew.
He smiled as the tears started to silently fall again. He didn’t try to hide his emotions as he looked to Stacy. There was fear. Love. Joy. Worry. And there was righteous anger. “How could any mother do this to her children?” he choked out. Despite everything…despite this not being his plan or how he’d seen his future…holding his daughter in his arms now, like this, he knew instantly there was no way he could ever let either of them go. They were his, and his to stay. And they would never, ever feel unloved for what their mother had done.
Man Hunt
Snuggled on the couch with Laura Nate started to doze off as his cell phone went off in his pocket. He was half tempted not to answer it at all but now that he was in charge of Garret he was always on call.
Pulling his phone out and see it was in face work Nate gives Laura a gentil pat on the arm before moving her slightly to get up. He new she was relaxed and he didn't want to bother her at all. So going into the other room he finally answers it.
"Hey Ty, whats up....Yeah I wouldn't imagen that would be very good...No No....I'll come in. Thanks Ty...see you in a bit."
Hanging up the phone Nate goes back into the living room. Bending down to give Laura a kiss he gives her an apoligetic smile.
"Sorry babe I have to go into work for a little bit. If you need anything just call and...if you finish the movie dont tell me the murder is. It will give us good reason to watch the move all over again."
It didn't take long to get to the Elite. Checking in with Ty and letting him know he was there now Nate headed to the infirmary to get some antiseptic and bandages before making his way to the rec room. Seeing Garret just sitting on the floor Nate enters the room slowly. He didn't want to startle him to to much.
"Man if thats what you do to a punching bag, I really dont want to be on your bad side."
Setting down a bottle of water Nate also takes out the other supplys for Garret's hands. He pained him to see how much pain Garret was in. Not just in the flesh but as emotionally. He wish that he could just take away the pain for him, but he new that was something he'd have to work out on his own.
Giving a nod to her Grandfather Victoria turns and leaves the room. It didn't surprise her that her next mission would be so soon. All she had to do now to clear her head and back in the game. She couldn't let her emotions get in the way, and she couldn't let on Garret not being there hurt more than it should. How lonely she felt already.
Stacy can't help but laugh as she gets up off the ground. Everything was a mess but humor was important, and see that Eric was trying made her feel good. It was a start in the right direction and she was happy he was works twords making the best of it.
"Alright Alright, we can't sit here all day. Everyone might send out a man hunt for us."
Pulling his phone out and see it was in face work Nate gives Laura a gentil pat on the arm before moving her slightly to get up. He new she was relaxed and he didn't want to bother her at all. So going into the other room he finally answers it.
"Hey Ty, whats up....Yeah I wouldn't imagen that would be very good...No No....I'll come in. Thanks Ty...see you in a bit."
Hanging up the phone Nate goes back into the living room. Bending down to give Laura a kiss he gives her an apoligetic smile.
"Sorry babe I have to go into work for a little bit. If you need anything just call and...if you finish the movie dont tell me the murder is. It will give us good reason to watch the move all over again."
It didn't take long to get to the Elite. Checking in with Ty and letting him know he was there now Nate headed to the infirmary to get some antiseptic and bandages before making his way to the rec room. Seeing Garret just sitting on the floor Nate enters the room slowly. He didn't want to startle him to to much.
"Man if thats what you do to a punching bag, I really dont want to be on your bad side."
Setting down a bottle of water Nate also takes out the other supplys for Garret's hands. He pained him to see how much pain Garret was in. Not just in the flesh but as emotionally. He wish that he could just take away the pain for him, but he new that was something he'd have to work out on his own.
Giving a nod to her Grandfather Victoria turns and leaves the room. It didn't surprise her that her next mission would be so soon. All she had to do now to clear her head and back in the game. She couldn't let her emotions get in the way, and she couldn't let on Garret not being there hurt more than it should. How lonely she felt already.
Stacy can't help but laugh as she gets up off the ground. Everything was a mess but humor was important, and see that Eric was trying made her feel good. It was a start in the right direction and she was happy he was works twords making the best of it.
"Alright Alright, we can't sit here all day. Everyone might send out a man hunt for us."
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