11/27/10

In Need

Outside, Erik and Kyle, now by the car, wait. "How'd he look?" Kyle questions.

"Not good." Erik leans back on the hood. "I didn't want to push him so I didn't get a close look, but... I'd say it's the worst it's been."

"Like... need a hospital bad?"

"We'll need Karla to convince him to let us take him to the ER but I would feel better if we did, just to make sure he's okay. The cabin is a shambles... I think he got more than a couple punches to the face and... just speculation, but I doubt he's eaten in over a day."

Kyle shakes his head slowly, unable to believe a father who would do that to his own son... multiple times. At the same time, it was hard to believe how Kip fell for it every time as well. "I'll call Alice," he volunteers. "At least she can let the others know we found him."


Kip hears footsteps again but doesn't look up. Whoever it was, he'd just tell them to go away. He'd recover on his own and leave when he wanted to, not when Erik wanted. Feeling the bed shift, he still doesn't move. Not until he hears Karla's voice.

He hadn't expected her to be there, and his one eye cracks open, his head rising slightly. As she scoots back and slips an arm around his shoulders, he felt his wall of stubbornness start to crack. Her words made it crack even more. Maybe he'd expected a reprimand or at least a gentle chide, but neither were there - not even from Erik, come to think of it.

Hesitating a moment, Kip finally leans a little to the side, his head falling to rest on Karla's shoulder. It hurt to move though, and something like a whimper slips out, his arms tightening around himself. For the longest time, he says nothing but simply sits, knowing that someone who wouldn't judge him was right here.

Eventually though, as the minutes drag on, he knows that he can't stay here like this forever. Something had to give. He either had to make the first move or have Erik come back in and force him to.

Sliding back just a little and shifting to face Karla, his gaze remains glued to the bed, unwilling to look up at her. Slowly, he draws back his hood, revealing the damage to his lip and cheeks, along with both black eyes - his right one that was swollen shut. He knew he looked like he'd been in the boxing ring. He'd tried his best to clean himself up in the bathroom but there were hardly any first aid supplies to begin with, and hurting all over didn't help.

Moving his arms back around his legs, his sleeve rides up to expose his swollen and bruised right wrist, though his wince and sharp intake of air gives away that he was hurt somewhere else as well. "I can't... can't move very much," he slurs. "It... it hurts." His voice cracks as sa tear runs down his cheek, proving the pain was much worse than his physical injuries.

"We had a fight," he manages to explain. "Just like... like everyone else knew." He swallows hard again and shivers a little, still cold. "I tried to... stand up for myself." Another tear trickles down his face before falling to his knee where it soaks into his jeans. "It didn't work."

"I just... want to stay here," he mumbles, his eyes still lowered. "I don't wanna see anyone or talk to... to anyone."


Being brought closer to Chuck, Susanne's cheeks flush but she doesn't back away. His palm on her cheek was rough yet so soft - it seemed an impossible combination. She grins at his comment about payment for the next meal, her eyes twinkling with challenge as if saying, we shall see who wins this one.

A kiss wasn't what she'd expected so when she feels his lips brush against hers so gently, she tenses but doesn't pull back until after he'd retreated. Blinking, her eyes delve into his, searching once more for his intentions. But all she found was simple pleasure - nothing to be frightened of, even if her heart was racing, her pulse pounding.

"Thank you too, Chuck." Her voice was but a whisper and she clears her throat, regaining composure. She lets her hand slip from his and backs up a step, nodding. "Goodnight."


"Ma?" Justin enters the house, slipping off his shoes as the shopping bags rustle in his hands. He'd seen a strange car in the driveway and that always put him a little on edge. "Ma, you here?" He'd let himself in as usual.

"In the kitchen!" Lydia calls.

Heading that way, Justin enters only to stop dead in his tracks. Locking eyes with the other man in the kitchen, his gaze is one of shock. "Jared."

His brother smiles and waves. "Hey, little brother."

Not only was Justin younger, but he was shorter and less broad as well - "little" brother seemed to fit but always irked him anyway. He lets it roll off his back though, and continues his route to set the grocery bags on the counter. "What are you doing here?" He was miserable the way it was, and had hoped for a simple, quiet supper with his mother where he could break the news to her that he and Rebecca were over.

"Well, hi to you too." Jared laughs and folds his arms. "I'm visiting my mother. What are you doing?"

"My job." Justin throws him a warning glance. "Didn't recognize the car. New?"

"Yep. Had it for a couple months."

"Saw Utah license plates."

"Oh, I didn't tell you I moved?"

"Uh... no." Justin retrieves the milk and moves to the refrigerator to put it away.

Lydia seems oblivious to the tension and clasps her hands happily. "My two boys together, here at the same time. This calls for celebration." She immediately moves to the cupboard to see what she had to cook with.

"No, Ma..." Justin continues to put away the fresh groceries, knowing where everything went. "I shouldn't stay. I've got-"

"Nonsense!" Lydia pulls down some canned tomato juice. "Jared's only here for one night. Your dogs can wait."

"Yeah, and so can my mail, yard, phone..." Justin really was not in the mood for any of this. It was bad enough that he was still trying to deal with all of yesterday - now he had this to deal with, too. "I really should go."

Jared snickers. "Those two dogs are still your life, huh? Man, you need a girl."

Justin shoots him a look that could kill. "At least I don't go chasing after three or four at a time."

Jared's smile fades at the insult. Even if it was true that he tended to go after more than one girl at a time, his brother had no right to say that. "At least I have a life," he retorts.

"Justin, did you pick up the celery?" Lydia interrupts, clueless about the spat.

"Yeah." Justin lets the other subject drop and fishes the celery out of one of the bags to hand it to her. As he puts away the rest of the groceries, his ire intensifies. Jared was standing there doing absolutely nothing. He came for one night and everybody rejoiced. Justin was here almost every day, making sure his mother was taken care of, doing her grocery shopping and making sure she had rides wherever she needed to go. But that was normal. Nothing special. He knew all it was was stupid jealousy, and tries stamp it out before it got out of hand. His mother was glad to see her other son - that was natural and she deserved to be happy about it.

"Justin, you look so pale." Lydia reaches up to cradle his face, tucking aside a stray strand of hair. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine, Ma." He'd been feeling a bit lethargic today after waking up dizzy and hoped he wasn't coming down with something, though he'd figured it was just stress.


"...so I'm on my way to Louisiana for that conference." Between mouthfuls of supper, Jared explains him showing up.

Justin sips his water, having barely touched his own meal. "How come you didn't fly?"

Jared grins, waving his fork as he talks. "Why not enjoy the trip if the company's gonna pay for it?"

Justin shouldn't have been surprised. "Ah. A nice joy ride and vacation on company time. Smart."

"I thought so." Jared grins and takes a last bite of food before scraping the remaining bits off his plate. "Mmm have I missed your cooking, Mom."

Lydia beams. "You can have more if you stay longer," she bribes.

Jared laughs. "The offer is quite enticing. I did leave earlier than planned..." He pauses in thought. "I could stick around tomorrow, but I'd have to leave right after supper."

"Oh, could you?" Lydia's eyes light up. "Then Justin can come back and we can-"

"I'm gonna be busy, Ma," Justin interrupts. "I'm sorry."

Lydia lifts a skeptical eyebrow. "You didn't say so yesterday."

"Well, plans change. I got things going on, you know that."

"Still spend your time chatting with the nutcases?" Jared questions.

Justin stares at him in disbelief. That was low, even for Jared. Setting his napkin aside, Justin stands and goes to kiss his mother on her cheek. "I need to go. The meal was great."

Lydia shows her disappointment. "So soon? I have dessert."

"Save me some. Enjoy the rest of your evening and if you need anything, call."

"Oh, I'll be fine." Her smile returns. "I'll have Jared here for the night so you don't have to worry."

"Of course." A new knot had formed in Justin's stomach.

Jared stands as well. "I'll walk you out."

Justin was perfectly capable on his own, but he doesn't argue. Heading to the door, he finds his sneakers and sits down to put them on. Jared leans against the wall with his arms folded. "Since I'm staying an extra day, thought I might visit Dad's grave while I'm here."

Justin bristles but only grunts in response.

Jared persists. "Want to join me, or... do you still avoid the cemetery?"

Justin's blood begins to boil and he ties his shoes tighter than they need to be. "I won't be offended if you go without me," he manages tersely.

Jared chuckles. "Yeah, okay. Sorry I brought it up. Sometimes I forget. I guess if I was in your position I might be the same way."

"My... position?" Justin stands up to face his brother, suspicion on his face.

"Sure." Jared shrugs. "With what happened and all. I mean, I'd feel guilty, too."

"Guilty?"

"Well the only reason I can remember when Dad died is because of your birthday. If it was me who'd taken the blame, I wouldn't want to visit his grave either."

Justin had known there was some bitterness there on his brother's part, but he thought Jared would have grown up by now and moved on. The last few times they'd seen each other, this had not come up, which said perhaps Jared's bitterness was growing. No matter the reason, he'd struck a cord and Justin was livid. "You arrogant fool," he hisses. "Be glad I have self-control right now or you'd be on the floor."

"Whoa..." Jared holds up his hands. "Big talk from the little man. I didn't mean to insult you there - I was just stating the facts. Don't go killing anyone else now."

Anyone else? It was the last straw. "Maybe I don't have as much control as I thought," Justin admits quite calmly - calmly enough that even Jared isn't prepared for the fist flying in his direction. Neither man had ever struck the other - not even as kids. But tonight, blood flew as hard knuckles met soft flesh. Jared's mouth is squarely hit and hard enough that he's thrown off balance and stumbles to the floor.

"Justin!" Lydia had not been seen by either man. She stands in the hall, her face pale and shocked. Hurrying to Jared and kneeling down to press a dishtowel to his bleeding mouth, she looks up at her second son, stunned by his actions. So stunned that she can't even ask why he had done this.

Overcome with anger and guilt, Justin backs away. If he'd wanted to disappoint his mother and make Jared look like a saint, he'd done a very good job. No intelligible words seem to form, so a silent stare is the only communication. Turning around, he exits the house and goes to his truck to leave.

Lydia is trembling as she tries to help Jared even while her wide eyes had followed her other son outside. "Out of character" would be the ultimate understatement, and even she recognized that. Justin never lashed out... never. Swallowing hard, she finally turns her complete attention to Jared. "Are you alright? Do you need a doctor?"

"No, I... I don't think so." Jared blinks and sits up, feeling his lower lip that was still bleeding. His teeth felt like they'd been whacked with a hammer and fingering one tooth along his lower jaw, it falls out into his palm.

"Good heavens." Lydia takes his arm to help him stand up. "Come. Rinse with water. You will have to go to a dentist now."

Jared follows her dumbly to the kitchen where he rinses and spits in the sink, eventually using a cotton swab to try and stop the bleeding in his mouth. Sitting at the kitchen table and being doctored by his mother, he allows it, silently stewing.

"Why did he hit you?" Lydia finally asks as she washes the dishes from supper.

"I don't know. He just flew off the handle."

"Well what did you say to him?"

"Nothing." Jared shrugs lamely. "I said something about him not wanting to be with family and he just slugged me. I don't think he likes spending time over here."

Lydia scrubs a plate, her face furrowed with worry. "Because he didn't want to come tomorrow?"

"Well... that, and..."

Lydia turns. "And what?"

"I wasn't going to say anything." Jared hesitates. "But well... he said he was tired of running errands all the time, like shopping and stuff. That's when I said he apparently didn't see that it was the family's job to stick together and that he obviously didn't want to spend time with you or me. Then he hauled off and hit me. I'm sorry... I guess it's my fault for antagonizing him."

Lydia wipes her hands on a towel and slowly joins him at the table, sinking down in another chair. "He... he never complains." Her eyes were clouded with concern. "If I ever thought he was unhappy, I would find someone else to help me. I do not want to burden him."

Jared shrugs. "Maybe you can hire someone to do your shopping and even help with your cleaning and stuff."

"Oh, but the money..."

"I'd help," he offers. "It's the least I could do."

"I could never ask-"

"You didn't. I'm offering," he states flatly. "I'm the one that lives too far away to visit every day. If it wasn't for my job, you know I'd be right here, spending as much time with you as I could. So since I can't, let me do this for you. Let me help with someone to run your errands, and then Justin will be free as well."

There was more than concern in Lydia's eyes now. There was confusion... and hurt. "If only I'd known..."

"Now... you can't think of it that way. I'm sure Justin loves you the same. Maybe he just got tired over time and didn't want to say anything. But you can't worry about it now. It's over. We can even start tomorrow looking for someone to help you."


Once home, Justin parks his truck but remains behind the wheel for the longest time, just staring out into the darkness. It had been a long time since someone's words had stung as deeply as Jared's had tonight. Unfortunately, Justin's reaction had been just what his brother had wanted. He'd been stupid, that was for sure, and more than likely, he'd have to explain to his mother soon what had happened as well. He'd have to soften it a bit so she didn't think too badly of Jared. Justin hated him right now, but there was no point in hurting his mother by making her see that her eldest son was a jerk.

Finally getting out of his truck, Justin wanders to the house and pats the two dogs on the way, but is less than enthusiastic, despite their wagging tails. It's not too long after that he's lying on his couch, not having made it to his bedroom. He was exhausted and not tired at the same time, keeping his mind wide awake. Unfortunately, Jared's words had brought on a flood of memories - memories that Justin did not like to face. He could tell anyone about the past... he'd moved on and worked through the death of his father. But down deep there was still numbing pain that he was very good at covering up. And the worst part was that he wanted to call Rebecca and tell her what happened so she could comfort him... and he couldn't even do that now. He wanted to talk to someone... to tell someone how he felt so he could get some of this weight off his shoulders. Beth crosses his mind, but he again resists. She didn't need to be concerned with his problems. He hadn't talked to her yesterday or today, but that was probably a good thing anyway.

He tries to sleep and forget, but the pain and guilt press down on him. He would tell anyone that he no longer believed his childish thoughts that the accident had been his fault. But maybe Jared was right. All in all, if it hadn't been for Justin's planned trip with his father, the accident would have been avoided. So really... if anyone needed to be blamed...

Justin scrunches his eyes shut tightly and turns over to slam his head down into a couch throw pillow. Sleep. That's all he needed. These emotions were unjustified. Pointless. Illogical. He knew good and well that the accident had not been his fault. It hadn't... it just hadn't......right?


...A loud clap of thunder rattles the house and makes Justin jump, waking him from his sleep. It takes him a moment to focus and realize that he was still on the living room couch. It had not been a good night - one of the worst in years with tossing, turning and dreams he'd rather have forgotten.

Sitting up, still a little dazed, he sees that it's already eight o'clock and he had no idea when the storm had rolled in. Lethargic and exhausted, he goes to the kitchen to find some apple juice. His stomach didn't feel all that great, and he felt warmer than he should, but he tries to ignore it. Once he'd been able to clean up a little bit and become more alert, he picks up the phone, mustering up the nerve to call his mother. Last night had not gone well at all, but he still owed it to her to check and make sure things were fine. He was supposed to have gone to the butcher for her today and he wanted her to know he'd still do that - he just needed her list. And somehow... he'd manage to avoid Jared when he went to the house.

After several rings, his mother picks up. "Hey, Ma... it's me." He chews on the inside of his lip, remembering the look on her face last night when he'd slugged his brother.

"Justin?" She sounded surprised.

"Yeah. Um... listen, I'm sorry about last night and... I wondered if you still had that list for the butcher. I was supposed to pick up some meat for you today."

"Oh..." Lydia hesitates. "Well, um... it's okay. I mean, it's going to be taken care of. You... you don't have to do those errands anymore. You need a break."

Justin blinks and he suddenly regrets drinking that glass of juice. "But... if this has to do with last night, I'm sorry. I was totally out of line and I'm more than willing to talk to you about it later. I'm fine with running your errands, you know that."


Lydia furrows her brow and looks to Jared who was standing next to her, able to hear what Justin was saying. He shakes his head and whispers to her. "He's just trying to manipulate you. Stop letting him do that."

She frowns and speaks to Justin again. "No, no... I understand, and you need your own time. It's time you didn't have to worry about these things."

Justin was stunned. What was going on? He knew she was upset he'd hit Jared, but why was she acting like this? "I don't mind," he tries again. "How about I just come later tonight at least, and we can talk?"


Lydia looks to Jared again, about to say yes on the phone, but he shakes his head with a warning glance. He speaks quietly again. "Remember what we talked about this morning? What if he gets mad again? What if it's you he decides to swing at? I don't want you hurt. He needs to back off for a while. He shouldn't be coming here if he's going to hurt people."

She swallows hard, her eyes full of sorrow. "I... I'm sorry, Justin. But you..."

When she has trouble saying it, Jared prompts her with a nod and more verbal encouragement. "Your safety comes first," he whispers hoarsely. "You know he's dangerous." He points to his still-swollen lip. "I won't stand for him being here when he's got a temper like that."

A tear rolls down Lydia's face and her voice trembles as she speaks to her younger son again. "You shouldn't come," she states bravely.

Jared points to his lip again with emphasis and Lydia musters up the strength to continue. "I don't want you to come. Not... not when you are so angry and you hurt people."


Something close to panic sets in and Justin runs a hand through his hair as he desperately racks his brain. "It won't happen again. Look, I was mad at Jared and I'm sorry. I'll wait until he's gone so there's no chance of another conflict, okay?"


Jared frowns and shakes his head. "It'll be you next time," he warns his mother.

Lydia's lower lip quivers and she closes her eyes. "Justin... stay away. Please. Do not come."


The fear in his mother's voice cuts Justin like a knife. "You're afraid of me," he states, shocked by the evident truth. "Ma, you know that I would never hurt you." Silence. "Right? You know that."


Lydia looks to Jared as another tear follows the first down her face. Her eyes asked him what to do. Reaching out, Jared takes the phone and while they can both still hear Justin talking, he hangs up. Lydia chokes on another tear and leans against her son as he wraps his arms around her in a hug. Resting her face on his chest, she cries, mourning the necessary rejection.

"You did the right thing," Jared assures. "I'm proud of you."


"I lost my temper with Jared, but that had nothing to do with you. I would never-" Click.

Justin cuts off his words as he realizes that his mother had just hung up on him. Never in all his years and even some spats they'd had, had she hung up on him. He stares at the phone numbly, too shocked to know how to feel.

Hanging up, he lowers himself onto the couch, completely stunned. His mother was afraid of him. And she had told him not to come back. His mother was half his life. He complained about her needs sometimes... and sometimes he complained about her unintentionally smothering him or getting involved in areas she shouldn't. But he loved her to no end and never would he even remotely consider harming her in any way, shape or form. How could she think that?

Looking down at his sore hand, he rubs over the knuckles that had struck his brother. One move... one stupid move and his world had suddenly flipped. If only he had held his temper. If only he had not allowed Jared to get to him. None of this would have happened. His own mother was afraid of him. And he was appalled.

Without warning, Justin's stomach lurches, reacting to the mounting stress. Standing quickly, he aims for the bathroom, making it just in time to throw up. Instantaneously, a splitting headache forms, pounding against his skull. Sinking down to the floor, Justin tries to get a grip, but it all seems too much to handle. He'd failed with Scott and therefore was out of that job and income from Brookshire. Rebecca had broken up with him. His friends really weren't friends at all. The memories and guilt surrounding his father's death were back. The rift between himself an his brother had grown wider. And now his mother had pushed him away out of fear. It was a living nightmare.

Another spasm causes him to throw up again and his body starts to shake. Being stressed out was not something he often did, so he calmly deducts that since he was trying to deal with everything all at once, this was probably a minor breakdown and he really needed to just settle down and think himself through it. He was perfectly capable if he could just sort through the logic and go with the flow. It shouldn't be hard. He walked other people through their problems all the time. Convincing himself of the same things should be a piece of cake.

Throwing up a third time, he wonders if his stomach even has anything left. Unfortunately, it did, and after several more retaliations from his stomach, he still sits on the floor, exhausted. Sweat trickles down the side of his face and his head hurts so badly he thinks he might pass out.

Trying to stand with the aid of the bathroom counter, his knees prove to be too weak and he slides to the floor again. Rain pelts against the window and he can hear the dogs barking their complaints. A loud roll of thunder makes him cringe. With heart still pounding, he crawls out of the bathroom, aiming for the kitchen to get something to drink. He was alert, knowing full well what was going on, able to think through everything and know what he needed to do to take care of himself. But his body just wasn't cooperating. With all of his stress bottled up inside, it had only been a matter of time before it took its toll.

Halfway to the kitchen, Justin stops as the room grows dark and his dizziness increases. He tries to shake it off, knowing that his body wanted to pass out. Fighting it for all he was worth, he crawls a little farther, but it's no use. Leaning against the wall and slowly sliding down until he was lying on the carpet, everything goes black...


...The phone is ringing. Answer the phone. Where is the phone? It's ringing.

Justin's eyes open and he stares into the dimly lit living room from where he was still lying at the edge of the hallway. He comes to just in time to hear his answering machine pick up and a bill collector's voice warn him about his electricity payment before hanging up.

Justin's mouth felt like cotton and he swallows hard. Bringing his wrist around, he checks his watch. He'd been unconscious for several hours. That wasn't good. If only his body were as functional as his mind right now, he'd be fine. He vaguely remembers being around someone a couple days ago who had come down with the a severe case of the flu. Maybe that's what some of this was - most likely it was stress with a bug on top of it, making for a deadly combination.

Getting back on his hands and knees, he finally makes it to the kitchen. Managing to retrieve the bottle of apple juice from the fridge, he sits on the tiled floor and drinks a little bit at a time, trying to rehydrate. Each time he lifted the carton to sip, his hands shook and he was amazed he didn't spill the juice all over the place. Come to think of it, he was shaking all over. Odd. Only now does he realize too, that he's covered in sweat.

Squinting up at the window over the sink, he sees it's still gloomy outside, but apparently the storm had passed. He didn't hear the dogs whining... they were probably on the porch and probably hungry. He needed to feed them. Trying to stand up though, he gives up. They could survive until later. For now, he would take up residence right here on the floor. Apparently that's where his body wanted to be.

Leaning back against the counter, he closes his eyes. What happened after that would later only be a blur. All Justin would remember would be fighting off memories, frustrations, guilt and fears. He would remember feeling as though he were in a dream, facing his father, facing his brother and mother, and even Rebecca. He was failing. He was a failure. He was guilty...


...Nine o'clock at night. Justin lies on the living room floor in front of the couch, not knowing how he got there. The kitchen behind him displayed a war zone. The bottle of apple juice had splattered sticky liquid everywhere. There was broken glass all over the floor and blood from a cut on Justin's hand that he would not remember how he received. The answering machine blinks with several messages but he'd never heard the phone ring. By now, the dogs had given up barking as he'd never heard them either.

Slowly opening his eyes, he glances around the living room. Lifting his head to figure out where he is, he then just lets it rest on the carpet again, too exhausted to move. He was drenched in sweat and his eyes burned. Apparently he'd been crying, but couldn't remember. His head still pounded and his stomach still felt weak. He knew he'd blacked out again and wasn't sure now if he should call Brookshire to come put him in their loony bin, or call 911. He couldn't call Rebecca... he couldn't call his mother. Beth... what about Beth...

He ached all over and was burning up, so he was pretty sure now he'd been right in his deduction of being sick along with having a nice little breakdown. But without the energy to rise anyway, it was a pointless conclusion. Maybe if he would just lie here a little longer, he'd get his strength back. Just... a little longer...

His eyes fall shut again.


Danitza wanders the street and whines, looking left, then right before sniffing the air and turning around to go the other way. Her paws patter on the moist pavement and she jumps out of the way as she's almost hit by a car, its horn honking. It was dark and the headlights were blinding. It had taken her all day, but she'd made it to the right area. After sensing something was not right, and not being able to rouse Justin, she'd broken loose from her chain and collar and had taken off, leaving Zora to lie on the porch, protecting their silent master.

Up on the sidewalk again, Danitza stops once, turns, then aims down an alleyway. Once on the other side, she sniffs around some more and finally finds things that seemed familiar. She stops at a parked car smells the tires and the driver's side door, then follows her nose to one of the many doors.

Sniffing around the crack at the bottom of the door and up near the knob, she whines and scratches at the door. Cocking her head to listen, she barks then scratches again. She remembered this door. She knew it was Beth's. Beth was safe. Justin liked Beth. This was the right place to be. She barks again, whines, paces, scratches and barks again, waiting on the dark doorstep.

Comfort

Sitting in the back seat and looking out the window as Erik got out of the car and headed to the cabin Karla couldn't help her leg bouncing in a nervous manor. Something was wrong, she could fell it in the air that things were just not right.

Seeing Erik come out of the cabin he didn't even need to say anything yet and Karla could see it in his eyes that Kip was here, and it wasn't good. Opening her own door and standing up Karla looks to Erik. Hearing his words her heart broke and picks up the pace.

"I'll see what I can do."

Closing her door and slowly making her way to the cabin steps Karla stops for a moment looking back at Erik and Kyle for a moment Karla was scared but she had to do this for Kip, he needed her. Turning around and heading inside Karla goes slowly steps over the mess on the ground looking around. Seeing the state of the cabin she could only imagine what happened.

Searching the rooms she wasn't sure where the bedroom was but coming to the last door she new this had to be it. Opening it slowly and seeing the figure on the bed Karla's heart broke even more. Slowly entering Karla moves to the bed and sits down on the edge. Catching sight a little of Kip's face Karla could see the marks.

"Kip...I'm here."

Scooting back a little bit to lean against the wall Karla softly slides her arm over Kip's shoulder but doesn't let it rest on them to much. She just wanted to comfort him and let him know she was there for him. Right now she wouldn't push him to come, she wouldn't make him leave yet she would comfort him and give him the shelter he needed.

"I love you so much Kip!"

Giving a smile and reaching out for Susanne's hand Chuck pulls her close enough to him without being on top of him and looks into her eyes. Setting his helmet into his lap he brings his other hand to the side of her face and just runs her thumb over her soft skin.

" I guess maybe the day after tomorrow would be good. I can't dump all my work on Ana all the time."

Chuck gives a laugh and than a smile. He'd have to hold off everything he could not to try and see her tomorrow but he could do it and maybe not hounding her for one day would be a good thing too.

"Picking the place for lunch sounds good, as for paying we will wait and see on that one."

Letting his fingers spread on Beth's face Chuck smiles again looking into her eyes. Leaning in a little bit Chuck brings his lips to Susanne's and kiss them softly before pulling away.

"Thank you for the wonderful night Susanne. Good Night!"

Beat up

Receiving the answer he thought he would, Erik takes a left and heads for Alice's place. It's only minutes before they're there, and even less before they've picked up Karla and are on their way again. The drive was a long, quiet one. Erik and Kyle both kept their thoughts to themselves in the front seats, though they engaged in some conversation every once in a while for Karla's sake. Driving north and into the foothills, the roads grew winding and wooded, and Erik needed a map to ensure they were on the right track.

Eventually, driving down a winding lane, a cabin comes into view, as does Kip's car. There was no other vehicle. Erik's grip on the steering wheel tightens. Just the fact that there was no other vehicle wasn't good.

Parking near the cabin, Erik cuts the engine. Pausing a moment, he looks to Kip, then into the backseat at Karla. "I'm going to go see if he's here." He didn't have to say that he wanted to go in alone in case anything was wrong. That concern was already in the air. Getting out of the car, he walks to the porch and tries the door. Finding it unlocked, he lets himself in.

Kyle unbuckles his seatbelt and waits, glancing back at Karla and giving her the best reassuring smile he could, but it wasn't very strong. He knew she was just as worried, if not more so, as everyone else.


The cabin itself was dark. Some late afternoon sunlight shone through a couple windows, but most glass was covered with curtains. Erik had to pause and allow his eyes to adjust before seeing an overturned chair... a blanket strewn on the floor... broken shards of kitchenware scattered across the room. His heart beats faster. "Kip?" he calls. "Kip, are you here?" He steps over a broken lamp and turns a chair back on its feet. Glass crunches under his soles and he becomes more afraid. Walking to an open door, he finds the bathroom. A bloodstained washcloth lay across the sink. He moves more quickly to the hall, finding the bedroom. "Kip?" He cautiously pushes open the door and squints in the dim light. His eyes land on a motionless figure sitting on the bed, pressed into the corner.

It was Kip. His knees were drawn up to his chest with his arms wrapped around his legs. Though in his jeans and hoodie, he shook just a little from the chill in the air. Erik approaches slowly, unsure what shape his friend might be in, but knowing it wouldn't be good. "Kip? Kip, are you okay?"

Kip lifts his head slightly, his hood covering up the one eye that was so swollen he couldn't open it. He squints at Erik and nods just a little. "I'm fine," he mumbles.

Erik comes nearer and he now sees at least one black eye, bruised cheeks and swollen, split lower lip. He didn't have to ask what happened and he wouldn't pressure Kip for any answers right now. "Let's go home," he prompts gently.

Kip shakes his head.

Erik sighs. "Please... let's get you cleaned up and I'll drive you home."

"Go without me," Kip responds, his words slurred by the swelling.

"I don't want to. I came to get you. Come on... we'll take it slow."

Kip's one eye finally rises to Erik's. "Please," he begs quietly. "Just leave me here."

Erik's heart broke for his friend, like so many times before. It was just worse this time, and he had no idea what to do or say. Backing away slowly, he makes his way back outside. Stepping off the porch, he shakes his head and goes back to the car, opening the back door. "He won't come," he informs Karla, his eyes filled with worry. "He's beat up," he warns. "I don't know how bad, but he doesn't want to leave." It went without saying that Kip was probably very emotionally hurt and most likely quite embarrassed. It wasn't surprising that he would be stubborn and depressed, but Erik was just as concerned about his physical state as his mental state. "You may be the only one who can get him to come without making things worse. Would you try?"


Inside, Kip listens to hear Erik leave the cabin. He knew his friend hadn't really left though - he was too stubborn for that. Were others here or had Erik come alone? Kip wished no one would have come at all.

He shifts a little but winces and stops, just leaning back into the corner again and not moving. One arm slips from around his legs to wrap around his sides instead, holding the ribs that hurt so badly. His other hand loosens its grip on his legs as his wrist screams at him to stop. Swallowing hard, he closes his one eye again and just waits to be disturbed again, letting the hood continue to hide the worse part of his face.


Behind Chuck on the motorcycle once again, Susanne hated to admit to herself that she was getting used to it. But even just the few times she'd ridden with him, her feet already automatically knew where to go, and it felt natural now to put her arms around him and hang on.


As they zip through town, she leans her head against his shoulders and closes her eyes, just feeling the rhythm of the bike. The engine rumbled and the wind whipped at them, making it almost impossible to hear anything else, even under the helmet. But the deafening roar seemed to bring a stillness to anything else, which in turn created a strange sense of peace. For the first time, Susanne wondered if that's why Chuck loved riding his motorcycle so much.

Reaching outside of town and realizing that Chuck was pointing, Susanne looks up to follow his finger and find the bright moon. A smile creases her lips. If she'd been home, she might not have realized how beautiful it was out tonight.

It didn't seem like it had been half an hour when they made it back to TJY's parking lot. Taking her own helmet off too, she sighs a little, feeling very tired but very awake at the same time. Usually that meant she should have been to bed a long time prior, but tonight she almost wished there was no time and that there would be no work waiting for her tomorrow. But reality was reality and she had to acknowledge it whether she wanted to or not.

Glancing at Chuck, she leans forward and rests her chin on his shoulder, her face right up next to his. "Lunch tomorrow, huh?" She closes her eyes and lets her head tilt to rest against his, feeling a whole lot more comfortable than she'd ever think she might. The mixed scent of his skin and cologne seemed to make her melt. Sighing again, she finally straightens and slides off the bike, strapping the helmet to the back so Chuck wouldn't have to get off to do it.

Stepping back, she just studies him for a few moments before a small smile seeps out again. "How about day after tomorrow? And this time you pick the place to eat but I'm buying because you've bought my meal twice now."


"My... aunt needs someone to come live with her... for a while."

Justin looks up across the dinner table at Rebecca. It was just the two of them at her place once again and the meal was almost over. Every night this week had been spent together and Justin wouldn't have had it any other way. Rebecca had had some time off work and with his freer schedule, it made for perfect timing for dinners, movies anda late-night cuddle time on the porch swing.

He'd seen Beth a few times this week as well, but had kept it to coffee or light lunch, and once just at Brookshire for a few minutes. After the other night at her place, he was trying extra hard to keep the boundaries where they needed to be, while still being her friend. It wasn't as easy as he'd thought, but he was managing... at least... he thought so. And Beth's smile meant he was succeeding, right?

Things had been nice this evening with Rebecca, helping clear Justin's mind again, but now the tone in her voice warned him that maybe something not-so-nice was coming. "Oh? Is she not well?"

"She fell and broke her leg recently... She isn't bad enough to go to a nursing home but she hasn't been able take care of herself either."

"So... you're gonna go help her? Like for a while or something?"

"Um... indefinitely." Rebecca's fork hovers in the air as she doesn't take another bite of chicken yet. "Actually, um... there's... that and... and another job opportunity, too. Something really good that... um... I think I'll really like."

Justin eyes her with suspicion. It all sounded great, so why was she hesitating? "I don't think I know where your aunt lives," he muses.

"She... she lives in Maine."

Justin's fork drops onto his plate with a clatter. He tries not to show his shock too much, but he doesn't do a very good job at it. "Maine? So you're... moving to Maine? Indefinitely?"

Rebecca's eyes finally drop. "I wanted to tell you sooner... I've been debating for several weeks now and... and I just couldn't tell you. I... I wanted to enjoy our time together so much that I didn't want this to put a damper on things."

"Several weeks? Or more like a month, like you knew about this before we started going together?"

"Um, well y...yes. I just..."

Justin couldn't believe it, and he braces himself for what he knew was coming next. "You're moving soon, aren't you?"

"Next week."

The rest of the meal is forgotten and Justin toys with the napkin in his lap. So many things ran though his mind at once. He really did like Rebecca and was starting to care about her more and more. Whether he'd resisted his mother's little scheming to get them together or not, he really had fallen for Rebecca, unplanned as it was. "I could... move too," he suggests.

Rebecca shakes her head. "I can't do that to you, Justin. I know you love it here. This is your home... your family, friends... your mother - and you know she wouldn't move. I can't ask you to follow me all the way across the country like that. It wouldn't be wise."

"Well can I at least help you move?" Thrown completely off guard by this whole thing, Justin was beginning to feel desperation.

"I... I have help already. I have a friend up there who is flying down to help with driving."

"Oh? Do I know them?"

"He's... he's someone I knew from high school. He heard about the situation with my aunt and so... he offered to help."

"He." Justin waits until Rebecca will look him in the eye again. "Is he someone special to you?"

Rebecca's cheeks flush even though she shakes her head.

Justin could read her all too well. "But he was once, wasn't he?"

"Just... just in school. He's a friend, that's all. And I... well he offered to help and it was very nice of him and..." Rebecca stops, tears welling in her eyes. "So what if he's a special friend? That has nothing to do with me going."

Justin's gut churns and he moves his unfinished plate aside. He could feel an odd anger growing... an anger born of an unexpected hurt. "If he has nothing to do with it, why can't I help you move instead?"

"Because I already said yes to him. Don't make a big deal out of this, Justin, please."

"How can I not?" Justin's voice rises just a little. "Not only are you moving across the country, but you've known about this since we met and you said nothing, you're not coming back and now I know there's another man in the picture too! What's there not to make a big deal out of?"

Rebecca's eyes narrow slightly as a tear rolls down her cheek. "And what's the difference between that and you spending so much time with Beth Parker?"

Justin's jaw drops. "I help her out as a counselor. How dare you imply that I've been cheating on you."

"Well it's true isn't it? Half your heart and mind belong to her, whether you admit it or not, and I'm always left trying to pull you back over so your eyes will see me instead of her." She keeps going, not allowing Justin to interject. "You don't even see it in yourself, Justin, but don't think I'm blind. You see every emotion in people you meet, but you refuse to acknowledge the ones in your own self. You have denied me your full attention, and now you dare to blame me for accepting the help of another man."

Justin blinks and stares back at her in total shock.

Her eyes drop, realizing from the look on his face that what she'd just said had been harsher than intended. "I'm sorry... that was a foolish thing to say."

"No... no, it's obviously how you feel." Justin's tone was quieter now. He stands up and sets his napkin aside then pushes in the chair. "I've apparently made you miserable, and for that, I'm sorry."

Rebecca sees him starting to leave and she stands up. "Please don't go yet. I didn't want to argue... I just wanted to enjoy our last few days together."

Turning around slowly, Justin's eyes glimmer with pain. "That would only make things harder now. I'm sorry if you thought I didn't care enough about you. Apparently I didn't express well enough that I... that I loved you." Heading back through the kitchen and living room, he slips on his sneakers before making it to the porch. Before he can step down onto the sidewalk though, Rebecca's hand on his arm stops him.

"Please, Justin... don't be mad at me." Another tear falls as she waits for a response but receives none. Slipping in front of him, she stands on her tip toes and kisses his lips. But even more hurt comes when she feels he does not return the gesture. Sliding away, she searches his dark eyes, wondering if it was her who had put that cloud there. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

Justin finally looks at her and shrugs. "Me too." Stepping off the porch, he wanders to his truck. After a couple tries, it starts up and he pulls away, heading back through town. The street lights create a glare and he squints, his eyes burning slightly. Or was it really the lights?

He'd intended on going straight home, but now he wasn't so sure he wanted to sit alone in the dark and have time to think about what had just happened. He felt like a chunk of his heart had just been torn out and being alone didn't seem to be the solution. He needed to calm down before he could think through this clearly. The thought of calling Beth entered his mind, but he quickly pushed it aside. He wasn't going to burden her with his problems, let alone this one. He was here to be a shoulder for her, not the other way around.

His eyes burn a little more and his hands grip the steering wheel tighter. He knew what night of the week it was and knew where there would be people. His friends usually hung out at Jack's, the diner/bar/club - or whatever anyone wanted it to be - on the edge of Crossdale. It usually didn't get too crazy there - pretty low-keyed, and while Justin didn't drink, they had good food. He didn't usually like the atmosphere, but tonight... tonight he wanted it. He felt a bit warm and woozy, but it was probably just from the stress and some chill time would help.

It took a while longer before he finally arrived and parked in the half-full lot. It wasn't unusual for it to be this late and still have a good crowd. It probably wouldn't be empty until they closed at two in the morning. Justin spotted several cars he recognized and saw that at least Lane, Nichole and Jake were here. Truth be known, it really wasn't his favorite group, but it was better than nothing.

Heading inside, he pockets his keys and glances around the first room of people. The bar was plenty busy, but with the colored lights, it was a little hard to distinguish faces. He glances around the tables and still doesn't see anyone he recognizes, so he heads around the corner, nodding to a waiter to let them know he was fine on his own.

Still looking for his friends, he finally spots a nearby round table with some people he knew and some he didn't. There were a few empty chairs and Justin knew they wouldn't mind extra company. Coming up behind most of them, his ear catches his name, so he stops, cocking his head to listen.

"...invite Justin?"

Lane shakes his head at Nichole. "Nah - you know he doesn't like the night life."

"You mean he's a stick in the mud."

Lane snickers. "Feeling blunt?"

"Well he is!"

Jake laughs. "Lane, she's right and you know it. Last time I saw Justin actually kid around, it was after Paula stuck three ice cubes down his shirt and he was forced to get up and do a little dance." He whacks the arm of a guy sitting next to him. "Justin's this counselor we know that-"

"Not any more," Nichole informs.

"He is, too."

"Well, not officially. He doesn't like working under the rules, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." Lane grins at the woman across from him. "So I guess he's a stick in the mud and doesn't like rules."

The woman quirks an eyebrow. "Sounds like a real winner."

The others laugh and Jake downs the rest of his drink. "He is... when his head is out of his butt."

"Ha!" Nichole lifts her glass. "That'll be the day. When Justin Hawks isn't judgmental towards the person he's conversing with, I'll change my ways forever."

Lane throws up his hands. "You mean that will be the day! How many boyfriends did you say you had this week?"

"Oh, shut up." Nichole glares at him, but it turns into a grin. "Three."

"Aw man." Jake looks at his glass. "I need a new drink. Bartender!" He stands up, waving his glass around to be silly. "I need a-" His words come to a dead halt as he turns and realizes that Justin is standing right behind him. All the others look up and know the same thing - that Justin had just heard their little conversation about him.

Justin stares Jake in the eye, his gut twisting in all sorts of uncomfortable directions. "Oh, don't stop now." A wry grin emerges. "Keep going. I'm learning all kinds of things about myself." When all he receives is an awkward silence, he waves a waiter over. "They need some more drinks at this table here. Thanks." Nodding at his friends, he gestures to the door. "I'm gonna go figure out how to drive home while my head is stuck up my butt. You guys have a good time and feel free to make jokes about me - laughter is good for the soul." He turns and aims for the door.

Nichole's face was beet red. "Justin, wait, we... we..."

Lane purses his lips and takes a sip of his drink. "Well... that, uh... calls for a round of stronger drinks, I think."


Justin sinks down in his truck seat, feeling sick. Now he knew. Now he knew what his friends really thought of him. He knew what Rebecca really felt, and he knew what his friends did. So much for relationships. He spent years studying people, communication and interaction. He helped others get along with each other and deal with life. And here he was, the biggest idiot on the planet, blind and feeling more alone than he'd ever felt.

Beth crosses his mind again and he shakes his head, starting his truck engine. No... no, he was having a hard enough time keeping his feelings where they needed to be with her - he couldn't go to her now. At least his still had his mom who loved him. But he couldn't exactly go to her at this time of night. It looked like he was going home alone after all.

Half an hour later, he was home and flopping down on his bed, still dressed. And a tear finally surfaces.

Please Be

Just continuing to look at Susanne and blinking here and there as she tried to talk her own self out of going for a ride. Though he tried to hide the smile it did slip out a little as he just shook his head. He couldn't help but find it amusing because in the end he new she would say yes.

"Right, just a half hour, thirty minutes and nothing more."

Getting the bill and paying it Chuck was ready to head out not wanting to keep Susanne out to long, but wanting to be able to get there ride in. Getting outside and suited up doesn't take long the bike coming to life as Chuck checks to make sure Susanne was holding on.

Weaving in and out of traffic Chuck let the nice night air follow over them. He loved being able to share these rides with Susanne. It was something special to him and seeing she seemed to be getting use to it more and more made him happy.

Finally making it to the small part Chuck slows it down a little bit as it was darker here but the sky could be seen more clearly. Pointing up for Susanne to look he thought she might enjoy it. The moon was bright tonight and the starts just seemed to glow a little more than normal.

Taking a little time to just enjoy it Chuck new they couldn't stay there forever even if he would like too. Making his way out of the park and hitting the main road again he picks up the speed driving them back to Susanne's car.

It doesn't take long to get there and soon he was cutting the engin and slipping his own helmet off. Looking over her shoulder and grinning his eyes twinkle a great deal.

"Thank you for joining me. It would of been fun a lone but so much better with someone else. The sky was perfect for it tonight. See you tomorrow for lunch?"

Standing at the window Karla had been up early this morning, and hardly got any sleep last night. Almost every hour she had tried Kip's phone and every time she got the voice mail. Now the she was worried a great deal and hearing Erik's voice on the phone revealed her a little it still was not enough.

"Yes please I would like to come as well. I'm ready to go so once you get here you wont have to wait for me. Thanks Erik."

She was thankful Erik had called and asked her to come along. He didn't have to do that but it was really nice that he thought about her. Pacing the house Karla couldn't help her nerves before finally heading outside to sit and wait. Trying Kip's phone once more she lets out a sigh only getting a voice mail.

Kip...were are you? Why haven't you called or answered your phone? Please be ok!