2/5/10

Hate

Though he wanted to, Gage found Sapphire's words almost hard to believe. He saw the righteous anger flash in her eyes, and his heart skips a beat. She really... cared? 

Having her sit on his lap, his arms automatically move around her waist. Though having just said that maybe they should slow down, that's not what he really wanted. He didn't want to leave Sapphire at all. She was his only friend, and the only person he cared anything for, more than just a friend. But what if Scott had been right? 

Watching her eyes, Gage blinks once, taken aback by her bold and passionate words. Not only did she care, but she was standing up for him... defending him. No one had done that for him before - at least not like this. And she was willing to risk it all? He'd thought she cared, but... but this much? 

Before he can even try to respond, her lips have enveloped his own. Though his mind screamed at him to stop right now and be logical and realistic, his heart had other ideas. And it seemed his body was more attached to his heart than his mind. 

Returning Sapphire's kiss, Gage's eyes close and his arms tighten around her, closing the gap between them. He was upset over this whole thing, but somehow she had a way of chasing the rainclouds away and making him remember that he had something to be proud of, and that he really was worth something, despite his past. 

A deep, long kiss was the only thing Gage could think of to show Sapphire how much her words meant to him. He didn't know what would happen now, but she made him feel wanted, and worth the effort - and that in itself was worth a lifetime of kisses just like this one. 

Eventually releasing his hold, Gage draws back slightly, his heart still thumping and his breath shallow. He looks Sapphire in the eye as she still sat on his lap. "I was told to let you go and walk away," he mentions in almost a whisper. "I was told to not shame your name with my past. But you... you're so different... to care, even now, even when you know me better than anyone else."

He lifts a hand to cradle the side of Sapphire's warm face. His thumb runs gently along her cheek. "But I don't know how to say no to the world. It's bigger than I am."


Scott lamely accepts the icepack, placing it on his sore head. Looking at the floor, he takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly in an attempt to calm his nerves. "My mind... that's what's been bothering me. All the bits and pieces that don't belong there... they're just.... there and I can't get rid of them, and they pile up and spew into my thoughts when I don't want them to. I have no control over them." 

Just staying on the floor, he leans back against the desk, leaving the Mountain Dew mess for now. "I thought I got rid of the Agency, Dalton. When I finally got over being scared of my own shadow, I thought it was over. But every time I see Phinox or Alec or... or even Carson... it's like, all the data flashes in front of my eyes and for a split second, I'm back with the Agency, hooked up to all their computers and screaming as the data is forced into my mind." 

Swallowing hard, Scott just stops for several moments. He hadn't told anyone about this, not even Hope. He didn't like talking about the Agency - one, because it ripped open old scars, and two, because if any authority thought he was out of control, he could still be taken off the Elite as a security risk. 

"I hate them...." He'd never said it out loud before, but as he does, the bitter, raw anger is proven. "I hate them, Dalton. I hate what they did to me and I hate everyone who is a part of them. It make me sick, thinking of how many people they've got out there, thriving on the fear of others. I don't want to hate people I know like Phinox or Carson, but I can't help it that every time I see them, it's like their pasts are an open book, read to me whether I want it or not. Their personnel files are in my head and I know their jobs and what they did and my mind just reminds me of it over and over like a broken record." 

Removing the ice pack, Scott touches his head gingerly. "And I hate them for what they did to me. They stole a part of my life that I'll never get back, no matter how much braver I am now. So I'm not scared of my own shadow... great... but now a part of them is a part of me and I can't get rid of it." 

Glaring at the ice in his hand, it had never done anything to him, but it was better than glaring at his big friend. His tone comes out as frozen as the pack. "And now one of those creeps is going after my sister. And I hate him for it too."


"Nah... not much new." Axel shakes his head as he and Jess start in on their meal. He takes a sip of Pepsi and shrugs. "She said it might be a while yet, but she wants me here until she can see what the surgery is going to do. So far my hand still hurts, so that's a good thing. But Misty reminded me that not only are we working with nerves, but I haven't used my hand in so long, that my muscles will need some therapy to be retrained again too." 

Taking a bite of food, he can't help a little sigh. "I know it's God's timing... I just wish He moved a little faster sometimes."

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