Jason Stevenson

Garret stood back and wiped his hands on a rag. His jeans and t-shirt were still a little damp, but for the most part, he had dried off. His hands felt good to get a little dirt on them, and spending a few hours in the sunshine felt even better. 

He gave Nate a sidelong glance as he counted down, and waited until the sprinkler started...correctly. A little smile creased his lips as he watched the water droplets arc through the air. No gunshots. No running. No orders. Just a simple task completed successfully. This...strange feeling...there was an oddly peaceful sense about it. 

"Well...looks like you'll have a happy wife again." His eyes moved to the window where Laura was watching and appeared to be laughing. That happiness...that's what he wanted. Why did some people get that and some people not?

He leaned down to pick up a few leftover tools before turning his attention back to Nate. "Thanks...for getting me out in some fresh air. I, um... I appreciate it."


"Jason Stevenson." Medridge stood at the large window in his office, looking over the estate. Though the sun shone down over the perfectly manicured lawn and rose garden, the atmosphere felt as though they were surrounded by storm clouds. News of Garret's death had spread quickly and there were few who were not angered. Everyone knew he was being groomed for leadership, and respect for him was widespread. But no one was as angry as Medridge himself.

"Sir?" Agent Mathis stood just inside the office, hands clasped behind his back. He'd been called in from his post in Canada as soon as Garret was gone, and he knew he was as close as next in line as he could be to this high position. 

Medridge kept his back to him. "Stevenson. That's our target. He's the one we take in exchange for Garret's life."

Mathis pursed his lips in thought. "Wouldn't...someone in higher position be better? Like Mike Reese himself?"

"To take off the head would kill the snake. I like the snake. The snake provides a challenging puzzle. No...no I prefer to see the snake suffer. Squirm. Jason Stevenson is an important player - he always has been." 

Mathis shrugged. "Okay. Who do you want to do the job and when?"

"You. As soon as possible. But don't kill him."

"Sir?"

"Don't kill him." Medridge's tone was firm as he continued to scan the estate. "Shoot him. Leg. Arm. Hand. I don't care. And when you see him again...shoot him again. And when you see him after that...shoot him again."

Mathis blinked. "For...how long?"

"Until I tell you to stop."

Medridge finally turned around and leaned on his cane as he walked back to his desk. "Here." He held out a file folder. "In here are all the specs you'll need to find him. Study his patterns - he's an easy target."

Eli wasn't sure, but he thought maybe just a small bit of bounce had returned to his sister's step, and he was glad. He couldn't express how badly he wanted her to get back to her old self.

Feeling the pat to his leg, he pulled forward and away from the park, giving Justin a wave before speeding up down the street. He took a little longer route home, just for the fun of it, before dropping off Ryan, then heading to the coffee shop. 

Not seeing Scarlet's bike or car, he went ahead and parked and headed inside to grab a small corner table. Taking off his leather jacket, he hung it on the back of his chair and sat back to wait. All he could hope for now was that Scarlet would believe and forgive him.

1...2...3...GO!

Looking over her shoulder and seeing Eli can give a small smile and waves before looking back to Justin. Even if she didn't say it she really did feel better after there little time together. She may not be confidante, and she might have a lot of feelings running around still but at least this was a start and she could feel the difference.

   "Ok, I'll see you Saturday and we can go from there."

Turning Ryan sticks her hands in her jacket pocket and makes her way to Eli. She hated having her brother cart her around everywhere, but at least today it was on the bike. It made it a little more fun.

   "Get to ride in style today huh?"

Putting the helmet Ryan buckles it and swings her legs over the bike wrapping her arms around Eli. Giving him an extra squeeze she pats his leg to let him know she was ready. How she loved Eli and was so thankful that he was her brother.

   "Well...sometimes they dont work at all...and than sometimes they work to well. I think it might have to do with the pressure thats coming out of the hose, and I think the sprinkler heads need to be cleaned as well."

Grabbing a few other tools they would need Nate sets them by the shed door before turnging around and grabbing a bucket to make the cleaning solution they would need. 

...The minutes seemed to past quickly and before Nate new it 2 hours had gone by. The heads to the sprinklers were cleaned, a few things tightened, and both of them were almost dry from a mishap. It had been fun though and Nate couldn't help but notice a few tightly held smerks by Garret.

   "Alright, here comes the true test if they are working now or not."

Giving a nod to Garret Nate takes a step back and puts a hand over his cup that had iced tea in it. He hoped this would be the last of it and they would work. If not...he'd admit defeat to his wife, and move on to the next task. Either was though he felt good about Garret being there, and just getting out.

   "1...2...3....GO!"

Unnatural

Justin nodded, with a smile. "Of course you can get back to me. Think about it. I really just want to make this as comfortable for you as I can. I know it feels awkward and unnatural, but that's normal. The main thing is that you keep the goal of being healthy again and work towards that. Without your help, my job would be impossible."

A motorcycle engine brought their conversation to a halt, and Justin glanced over his shoulder and grinned. "Looks like your brother decided to pick you up on his bike."

Parking a short distance away, Eli cut the engine and waved, leaving his helmet on. He'd brought Ryan in the car, but thought the bike would be fun and maybe make Ryan smile. He reached around and unhooked the extra helmet and held it up so she could see he'd come prepared. And, as soon as she was back home, he was meeting Scarlet at the coffee shop. She was back in town, and he had a lot of talking to do. 


Laura snuggled into Nate's hug and returned his kiss, even though it was short-lived. She couldn't help her smile and chuckle as she shook her head. "Yeah, you boys have fun. As long as I don't get sprayed randomly when I walk out to hang up laundry, I'm happy!" she hollered after him. He certainly seemed to be in a good mood, for having to do this task along with keeping an eye on the new Elite resident. But as long as he was smiling, she was smiling.

She moved to the cupboard and retrieved a pitcher. She'd make a batch of lemonade just in case the men got thirsty.

Garret found his way around to the backyard and waited for Nate as he just looked around. He'd been in neighborhoods like this before. It was nothing new. He'd traveled the world over. But without being on a mission...it felt...empty. His neck wasn't on the line. He had no weapons on him, which just felt wrong. There would be no report. No danger even. And...it felt completely unnatural. 

So lost in thought, Nate startled him as he came out - something else that was not the norm, and bothered Garret. He said nothing though, and just followed to the shed. Glancing around at all the tools, it reminded him of a smaller version of the supply bunker at the estate...without the guns. 

He fingered a hammer...some screwdrivers...and picked up a pair of pliers. There might be no guns, but this shed was filled to the brim with weapons...and Nate didn't mind he was there? He really trusted him not to get violent?

"I don't mind getting dirty." He tossed Nate the pliers, having a feeling they need them. "Or wet." He picked up a couple standard sized wrenches. "Anything's better than being cooped up all day. I've spent enough time in solitary confinement." It was true - he'd lost track of how many times he'd been punished by being locked in a dark cell with no window and no contact for days or even weeks. The last time had been years ago now - eventually as he moved up in rank, he dished out punishment more than being on the receiving end, but the memories were embedded in his mind forever. At the time...he'd felt like he'd deserved the treatment. It had made him harder. Stronger. But now...it was like looking back on a nightmare.

A clanking tool jumped him back to reality, and he looked over the wrenches. "So what's the issue? Just the sprinkler heads not working or what?"


Eric's eyes widened slightly before a sheepish grin emerged and he scratched his head. "Yeah...yeah, glad I got time to prepare for that."

"Oh, there's no preparing," Mick answered dryly, giving Rosetta a teasing glance. "It's kind of like war. You can train all you want, but once you're on the front line, you're still running for your life." He held up am arm just in case Rosetta decided to whack him.

Eric laughed and shook his head. "Thanks. Thanks a lot." This was going to be a long road, and he knew it. But he had to believe it would get better. That he'd adjust. That he could really do this. It felt impossible. But around here...that just wasn't a word.

Hormones

Getting to the house Nate pulls into the driveway. He was happy to be out of work and to be doing something else. Honestly though He was kind of excited Garret was with him too. Just watching him as he stepped out of the car into the sun spoke a thousand words. Noding to the side of the house where there was a little gate Nate gave a smile.

   "Thanks. If you want to go around the side there it will lead to the back yard. No dogs or anything to worry about. I'm just going to let Laura know we are home, and I'll be right there."

Letting Garret to figure out the rest Nate makes his way up the steps and inside the house. Finding Laura he gives a smile before taking her in his arms and giving her a kiss. No many days they had been married, no matter how many years he loved coming home to her and he'd never let that fade.

   "Heya! I just wanted to let you know we were here and will be out back if you need me. Now I'm not making any promises about this getting fixed but I'll make a solid effort to get it working right."

Nate couldn't help the sheepish grin he had as he let go of Laura and make his way to the back door. Stepping out again Nate looks around for a second before calling to Garret.

   "Well I guess our first step is searching through the shed for tools. After that I'm just kind of winging it and seeing what happens. I hope your ready to get wet, and possible dirty."

Rosetta can't help but laugh at Eric's comment. He didn't have one girl, but two girls he was going to have on his hands. She could only imagen the fun this was going to be.

   "I am sure we call all help with pointers. Just be lucky they are babys still. You dont have to worry about hormones yet."

Listing to everything Justin said did make sense to her. Though everything with Tal still hurt, and she wished she could argue about she hadn't even realized she loved Alec still she new there was no point. It was to late to explain to Tal now about anything.

   "I understand where you are coming from and I guess I see how Tal might feel. I guess there was just a lot unsaid, or assumed."

Looking down at the paper Justin gave to her Ryan studied it for a long moment. Reaching out to take the pen from Justin Ryan wrote down on the let go side "blaim" and on the keep she wrote down "family". Glancing up at Justin a little bit of question was in Ryan's eyes.

   "Like this?"

Setting the pen down again and slidding it back to Justin Ryan takes the paper and folds it before putting it into her pocket. She'd consider going back to work she just wasn't sure if she was ready. Would everyone walk on eggshells around her? Would they stair and whisper? Ryan didn't know if she was ready to face that.

   "Saturday...yeah I think my day is free."

Ryan rolled her eyes at her lame attempt of humor. She use to be good at that and now...it was just lame. Looking around again she wondered if Eli was near by. He'd driven her, and she was sure he would drive her again.

   "Can I get back to you on where?"

Creepy

Justin's shoulders sank a little bit as he heard about Tal. It was unfortunate - especially the timing, and he felt badly for Ryan. Life wasn't supposed to be fair, but the poor woman couldn't catch a break. "I'm sorry to hear about that. I can't speak for Tal, and I don't know what he's like, but I can imagine he didn't want to hurt you. More than likely he's got just as tough a time figuring out how he feels as you do."

He paused in thought, rerouting his process as he gained new insights. "No one is really at fault here. But you do have to understand that you more than cared about Alec. Speaking from a guy who has a girl, it's great if she cares about other guys. But if I knew she loved someone else...deeply...I'm not sure I'd act much differently than Tal." He kept his voice gentle, just letting Ryan think through what he was saying. "It's not your fault, and you can't take the blame for Tal's actions. But at the same time, you're going to need to understand his side and... eventually let it go, if he's not going to come back."

He set his notepad aside and folded his hands, leaning his arms on the table. "Letting go is one of the hardest things we, as humans, do. Whether it's letting go of a boyfriend like Tal, letting go of feelings...or letting go of someone who has died. When we let go of anything, we're letting go a small piece of ourselves, and that leaves a hole that hurts - sometimes for a long time. But if we hang on to things we shouldn't, they sit there, inside, and weigh us down. They are burdens we shouldn't have to carry around. And...sometimes if we don't let them go, we can't make enough room for new joy to enter our lives."

Justin grabbed his notepad and tore a piece of lined paper out before writing. He drew two columns, one at the top said "Keep" and one said "Let Go." He slid it over to Ryan. "Over the next few weeks, I want you to start filling this out. It's just for you, unless you want to show me, but it's as private as you want it to be - I know deep down you have the right answers. As you use your journal and figure out what you're feeling, I want you to write down here the feelings you don't like - the feelings you want to let go. Write down the things or people you think you need to let go as well, even if it would be hard to do so. Then over here," he pointed to the other column, "I want you to write the good stuff. The feelings you want to keep because they make you feel good. The things and people you want to keep because they encourage you or bring you joy. Then, once you think you've got a pretty good list, I'll tell you want to do with it after that."

Another warm smile surfaced as he tried to encourage her. Just her being here, willing to talk at all - no matter how awkward - was a step in the right direction. "I think it would be a good idea for you to at least try going back to work in the next couple days as well. It won't be easy, but try to get back into a normal routine again so where you're at now doesn't become a rut, okay? And..."

He pulled out his phone to check his schedule. "How about we meet again on Saturday?" They hadn't met today for long at all, but he preferred it that way with Ryan, at least for now, to avoid any unnecessary boredom or frustration. "But you get to pick the location this time. We can meet over lunch, go to your place, go for a walk...pick somewhere that makes you comfortable... as long as it's not that little clown museum downtown. Creepy."


Garret was stretched out on his cot when Nate came to get him - he'd almost wondered if Nate really had been serious. Seeing he was though, it was hard to hide his relief...especially when they reached the outdoors. Fresh air. Sunshine. That alone helped his mood. 

He kept quiet on the drive though, just studying the passing scenery. He'd been across town himself but just that once to find Carson. Would he get to know these streets? Would he be allowed to stay? To call this home? What was home, really, anyway? 

Once at the house, he found it bigger than expected, but didn't know it was split on the inside, shared by Nate's family and Rick and his wife. 

Outside again, Garret just took in his surroundings before looking to Nate for his cue what to do next. This...a domestic task...was not something he was used to, and if he was honest, it was rather uncomfortable. But it was worth it to get out of the Elite building. "Nice place..."

Inside, Laura peeked through the blinds as she heard the car pull up. She'd already left Brian in Janet's capable hands, along with Maggie, just as a precaution. She didn't know if Nate was going to bring Garret inside or not, but though leery, she trusted Nate's judgement.


Eric didn't know what to say to Rosetta, but the gratefulness shone in his eyes. "That...that would be nice." He swallowed hard, trying to keep a handle on his emotions. He wished he had answers. He wishes he had a better setup that he didn't need so much help from the others... But no matter what, they always came through.

"Thank you."

"Everyone else has built on," Mick added, trying to make Eric feel a lute better. "Why not you? Shouldn't be hard if we all pitch in."

Eric nodded lamely. What else could he say? "I hadn't even thought of all the stuff the girls will need," he admitted. "Guess it's a good things there have been so many babies around here."

Mick laughed. "Hadn't thought of it that way, but you're right."

Eric managed a crooked grin. "And I'm...prolly gonna need some pointers...about...an awful lot of things.

Ready?

Nate couldn't help the small chuckle at Garret's comment about disarming a bomb. He wasn't sure sure if they would be easier or not since he wasn't one hundred percent sure what he was doing himself. But at least it was something to do.

   "How about we leave in a half hour? I should be done with most of my work by than."

Turning back to his work Nate quickly finished up what he was doing before pulling out his cell phone and calling home.

   "Hey Babe, I just wanted to give you a heads up I'm heading out of work early to work on the sprinkler system finally. I'm going to bring Garret with me to help for an hour or so. I figured him getting out would do some good."

After getting off the phone Nate continued with his work. Before he new it a half hour had passed and Nate was making his way to Garrets room. Giving a knock on the door he steps inside.

   "Hey you ready?"

Continuing to look down Ryan shifted on the bench and brought her legs up to cross them. It was slightly uncomfortable since the seat was narrow but she'd gotten tired of having them down. Replaying everything that had happened with Tal again in her head Ryan let out a sigh. This was going to be an even harder topic to talk about.

   "I dont know if he is anymore or not. He was pretty hurt that I still cared about Alec, and didn't understand why I was seeing him, and thinks our whole relationship was a fake when it wasn't. I really did care about him, and I liked spending time with him. He and Eli got in a fight and I heard a lot of the things he said."

Taking a deep breath Ryan finally looks up and squints in the sunlight. Everything that had happened with her and Tal really did hurt. She kind of understood where is was coming from and than at the same time she just wished he had been given a chance to explain, or they could of sat down and talked about it.

   "I haven't seen him since. I just wish we could of talked about it. but there is no point now. To many things have been said that cant be unsaid."

Quiet Rosetta just took in everything Eric and Mick were talking about while the wheels in her own head turned. She new her brother was freaking out, and she did understand how that felt. When BJ had come to live with them it was quite the change and it was a fast adjustment. But it had happened and now she couldn't imagen life without him there.

As Eric asks her if she had any ideas Rosetta shifted a little take a sip of her tea. Looking at her brother he might be able to tell the wheels were in fact moving, her eyes twinkled slightly. She always loved helping family and making plans come together.

   "Well, we do still have a bunch of wood left over from when Clint and Wendy built there house. That would make some good material to add an addition to your bunk, so at least that would be enough till something better could be built for you."

Standing Rosetta takes her now empty cup to the sink before coming back and sitting down again. Looking to Mick and than back at Eric she smiles.

   "You are my brother and I will help all I can even if you dont like it. I have some stuff left from when BJ was younger and I think maybe Wes and Cindy might have some left over stuff as well they wouldn't mind handing down to you. I know its not the best but at least its a start for now. What do you think?"

Bomb

Garret couldn't help the surprise that crossed his face. Nate had a task for him outside of the Elite office? Away from here? At his own house? He'd expected, at most, to be given some trivial task around here, but to actually be let outside...that was a whole lot more than he'd dared to hope for. He just looked back at Nate for a moment or two, wondering what the catch was. No one trusted him enough to actually show him where they lived, did they? But Nate apparently did.

"Not sure I've ever actually worked with a sprinkler system," he replied cautiously. "But...as long as it's not the same as disarming a bomb, we should be okay."

Now what? Would he be cuffed to be taken outside? What kinds of restrictions would there be? He had no idea what was expected of him at this point, which put him on edge. Anything to get out of this building, though.

He strummed his fingers on the cubicle wall. "What...time do you want to go?" Not that he had any schedule, but if he needed to hibernate a while longer, he would.


Justin nodded slowly, just letting Ryan take her time. "Maybe going back to work would be a good thing. It might get your mind on to something else. Something normal."

He cocked his head, considering all she'd said. "Sometimes it's hard to figure out what we're feeling because it's more than one emotion, but they're wrapped up so tightly, it's hard to distinguish. I like going back to just the raw emotions to help figure things out. Anger. Love. Hate. Happiness. Those are all underneath all the other ones, so as we dig deeper, it's easier to see what's really going on under the surface. It takes work to sit and analyze how you feel, and it can be pretty uncomfortable at times. But each success at figuring out one piece of the puzzle leads to completing the bigger picture. And...once the picture is complete, it's not so hard to move on to the next puzzle."

He paused a moment to write a quick note, then looked back to Ryan, taking in everything about her. "So you mentioned not seeing Tal. He's your boyfriend, isn't he? Did something happen?"


Eric sat in Mick and Rosetta’s living room with just the two of them. It wasn’t something he normally did – separating himself from everyone else, but tonight, he didn’t want everyone else’s involvement. He needed this time with just his sister and brother-in-law to figure things out.

Troy had returned the day before, and Eric had signed all the necessary documents to take responsibility for the twins. There was still some legal processing that needed to happen, but for all intents and purposes, it was a done deal – barring any devious plans of Dana’s to come back later and cause trouble. But Eric had already decided he’d go extra lengths, legally, to ensure she couldn’t interfere now or at any later time. Now though, a whole world of questions had been presented, and Eric had no idea how to tackle them. He knew he had Stacy’s support, but tonight…this was more about logistics than emotions.

The clock on the wall ticked the seconds away as silence ruled the room. Mick sat on the couch with Rosetta, and glanced at her before looking over to Eric, who was sitting in the chair, his faraway look proving how busy his mind was. “So do you have any ideas?”

“Nope.” Eric’s answer came quickly, and he smirked, lowering his gaze back down to them as he sighed. “Obviously my bunk isn’t suitable for me and two kids. And they can’t keep staying at Angel’s. And if I’m going to take care of them, I can’t expect anyone else to make room, either.” He leaned forward and rubbed his hands over his face. “I can’t afford to build a house. The ranch can’t afford to build me a house – not that I’d let that happen anyway. So there goes that. I could always move into town, but then I’d still have to work and…what to do with the girls?” He groaned and leaned back again. His brain hurt.

Mick smiled a little. Not because it was funny, but because Eric’s stressing out was only making it harder on himself. “Okay, well, for starters, we’re all willing to pitch in until this is resolved – you know that.”

“Oh, I know. But the twins can’t play musical families until I’m settled.”

Mick chuckled at the analogy. “True. But you’re not going to figure this out overnight, either.”

Eric sighed again, and he looked to his sister. “Any bright ideas?” As much as he wanted to take this all lightly, he couldn’t. He’d become a father of two overnight, which was emotionally exhausting, on top of trying to face the reality of changes that now needed to happen. But he was at a total loss.

Help Me!

Looking up at Garret as he neared his cubicle Nate game a small smile. It was good to see Garret up, in daylight that was. It was good for him to get use to everyone and to have everyone get use to him being there. 

Thanking for a long moment Nate tried to think of something to have Garret do. He really didn't have much but he wanted to make something. He could only imagen how crazy Garret must be going without much work.

   "Well...how are you at fixing things? Laura has been bothering me for weeks to fix our sprinkler system out back. If I dont get it done soon she is going to have my head. It's just a two man job and everyone is always busy. Want to try you hand at it and see if you can help me?"

Garret had been here for a little bit now, and Nate really wanted to get him out and about to soak up some sunshine. They wouldn't be gone long but maybe even just a little bit would help improve Garrets mood. It was worth a try and for now it gave them both something to do.

Sitting across from Justin Ryan looks down at the wood makings on the table and ran her fingers over them. She'd agreed to see Justin again but she felt awkward being here still even if she new she needed to be. The last few days had been quiet but hard. Everything Tal has said still floated around in her head. 

   "I'm ok I guess. Haven't gone back to work yet. Haven't seen Tal in days, and Eli is still being the caring brother he always is."

Ryan gives a small shrug. It was hard talking about her. She never really new what to say, even when talking to Eli, or her friends herself was never much of a topic.

   "I've been seeing less and less of Alec, but...I still do. He doesn't say anything anymore. I've also been using the book you gave me. It helps sometimes when I don't know what I am feeling."

Weary

Garret looked away again as Nate’s words came on a little more boldly. He really wasn’t seriously considering ending his life, but maybe Nate was helping to at least steer him more in the opposite direction. More steps though? He just wasn’t so sure. He’d started out with determination to just be patient…but after everything that had happened since, it felt like his patience was completely drained, along with his motivation. 

Seeing Nate’s hand out of the corner of his eye, he ignored it at first. He’d rather stay here and sulk than get up. But he hadn’t had anything to eat all day, and he knew that was probably just adding to his exhaustion. Not to mention, he figured Nate wouldn’t easily take no for an answer at this point and he was tired of arguing. He disregarded the offer for help, and got up on his own, inwardly cringing at how much his feet hurt. 

“There’s nothing more to talk about,” he mumbled as he picked up his shoes and socks. But he wouldn’t put them back on, knowing it would be too painful. Instead, he tossed them in his cell before following Nate upstairs, remaining barefoot. He forced himself to eat half a sandwich in the break room and drank some more water, but that was it, and he refused to talk any further to Nate about anything of importance. His wall had cracked beyond his comfort zone tonight, and he was done being vulnerable.   

The following day, he remained in his cell, not even working out at all, which was contrary to his normal pattern. Truth be told, his hands and feet hurt too badly to do much at all, but he also had lost his will to fight, at least for the moment. He spent that night wandering the halls when no one else was around – not getting into anything, but just feeling the building and trying to figure out more about the people here by observing the odds and ends in their offices or on their desks, or the pictures that hung on their cubicle walls. Friends, family, smiles. There was a strange peace here. The people were strange. Their lives were strange. He found Nate’s cubicle and took note of several framed photos of Laura, and one of their little family of three. Were they what gave Nate hope? Gave him reason to get up every morning? Garret wondered. 

It wasn’t until the day after that, when Garret finally emerged again during the day. It was mid-morning, and he once again stood in Reese’s office. 

Reese immediately took note of Garret’s battered knuckles, and his eyebrows rose. “Good morning, Garret. Something I can help you with?” 

Garret shrugged. “Just wondered if you’d made a decision about Aaron.”

“Aaron again.” Reese sighed. “No, I haven’t. And it may take me a while. At the moment, Rick’s having a hard enough time just keeping him still so he doesn’t rip out his stitches, let alone try to strangle anyone.”

“Yeah, he can be…stubborn.”

“Seems to be a pattern with you guys.”

Garret smirked a little. “Look…” He replayed in his head the conversation he’d had with Justin a couple days ago. “Friends aren’t really something that exists within the Agency ranks. But…Aaron came close. That’s the only real reason I want you to give him a chance here. I know he doesn’t want to be here, but considering the alternative…I think he’ll come around eventually. I just want to make sure he gets a fair chance. That’s all.” 

Reese leaned back in his chair and cocked his head. This calm, respective approach was new, and much more appealing. “What happened to your hands?” 

The chance in subject took Garret by surprised, and he flexed his still-sore hands. At least they looked better than a couple nights ago. “Um…just got frustrated. But only with the punching bag,” he assured.

“Uh-huh.” Reese decided to accept the simple answer – if anything major had happened, he would have heard about it from Nate. “Well, I’m going to keep Aaron here for as long as I can, and I’ll give him as fair a chance as I can. No promises, but if I can see any potential for rehabilitation, I’ll give it my best shot. That’s all I can offer.” 

Garret blinked, not having expected quite that kind of response. “Okay…” The following awkward silence was enough to make him turn and leave, letting the conversation end there. He made his way slowly across the main floor, trying to ignore the now-familiar leery glances from the Elite staff. Would it always be this way?

Getting to Nate’s space, he leaned his arms on top of the cubicle wall, and looked down at Nate. “Please tell me there’s something I can do today.” He wanted so badly to be distracted from his own thoughts. He’d had only a few hours sleep during the last two nights combined, and it showed on his weary face and dim eyes. Every time he closed his eyes, he met another nightmare, while staying awake only provided too much time to think. He was going mad, and just wanted something, anything to do, if only for a short time.


Justin sat across from Ryan at the picnic table in the park, having chosen this spot just as something different. He’d waited a few days to see her again, giving her space and time. He hadn’t heard from Eli, which was a good thing, but still knew this was only the start of a long road. He was curious to see today how Ryan was doing, and whether or not anything had changed.

“So…” He offered Ryan a gentle smile. “How ya doing?”

Eat

   "Well than, I guess its time you get your butt in gear and start figuring out, and making who you are. Killing yourself is no answer its only the cowards way out. You need to stay up, and become who YOU want to be. Not what everyone else tells you. You have already taken a few steps, now its time to take some more."

Taking another drink from his water bottle Nate looks around the room for a moment. Garret was so different from everyone else who had come here. Garret did have a lot to offer the world and Nate hoped that he would see that one day.

   "This place...it wont be forever. This is temporary, and probley one of the best places for you right now. But I can promise you it wont be like this always."

Standing Nate gives a stretch before looking down at Garret and offering his hand to help him up. As much as he wanted to sit there all night they couldn't. He needed to pick himself back up and keep moving on because thats how the wold worked, and if he didn't than there was no hope.

   "Come on, lets get something to eat and we can talk more."

Smiling back at Eric as Stacy puts the baby down she couldn't hide the joy she really felt. She'd always thought it was a joy to be a parent and now she could share that with someone else she cared a great deal for.

Being pulled into Eric's arms Stacy couldn't help the satisfaction that over whelmed her. Giving a small nod into his chest she new it would take some getting use to and she was prepaired.

   "Of course I will be, and I'll try and help as much as I can."

Who I am

Garret just sat, motionless and silent as Nate talked. What he said made a little sense to him...and some of it didn't. Even Nate's reason for coming here in the first place - that he cared - was a foreign concept to him. He understood...he just couldn't quite relate. And maybe he really didn't believe him.

"Hope, huh?" He scoffed. "Hope for what? A realistic future? Actual freedom? A family?" He shook his head. "I don't even know what a family is supposed to look like, let alone any kind of future with Victoria." He finally realized he needed to tend to his wounds, and reached for some antiseptic. Applying it to his knuckles first, he gritted his teeth against the pain. "I was stupid to think I could fabricate something real out of the nightmare I've been living in. Victoria was smart to stay with the Agency. I shoulda just transferred to another location so I wouldn't have to see her all the time. Then none of this would have happened." 

As he wiped away the blood on his hands though, he refused to meet Nate's eyes, protecting himself from exposing too much of what he was feeling. There was hope. But it was so far down, buried under so much, that he wasn't sure he even wanted to bring it to the surface again. Hope only brought disappointment. Hope only brought more pain. 

A scoff surfaced. "Now I know why Carson tried to kill himself. I thought I was trading one world for the other, but I just willingly walked into limbo with absolutely no solid ground to stand on." Moving to the tops of his feet, a growl slipped out as the antiseptic hit. "And for what? Staying a robot soldier would have been better than not knowing my place at all." It was only his depression talking. Deep down, he still felt the same way he had months ago - desperate to get out from under Medridge and the senselessness of it all. But tonight, right here...this...this is what felt senseless. How could a step in the right direction feel so messed up?

With any excess blood cleaned up now, he leaned his head back against the wall and stared at the bloody punching bag. A new flashback entered his mind - one that took him to years ago when he'd been held responsible for someone else fouling up a mission. Instead of someone beating him up, he'd been forced to face a cedar post and hit it with his bare knuckles until his hands looked like raw meat. After that, he'd shot the man who's fault it had been.  

It was a few minutes until he finally spoke again. His tone was quieter now as exhaustion took over. "When I was ten, I tried to drown myself. I wish I would have succeeded," he concluded. "You say I should now prove everyone wrong...that I'm me. But..." He turned his head and finally looked Nate in the eye. "I haven't had an identity since I was five years old." He still refused to say how he'd ended up in the arms of the Agency at that age, but the pain was evident. "I don't even know who I really am."


Watching Stacy with the other baby made Eric's heart grow even warmer. He had thought of the future with her - of course. But he'd been taking things one day at a time, working at figuring out his own stability, how far his relationship with Stacy really went, and even how Ashlee fit into it all. Of course he'd thought about being a real family - the three of them. Finding out about the twins had thrown everything off kilter. But watching Stacy now...he knew that if there really was a future for them...they'd be a family of five, and she wouldn't leave him just because of the extra mouths to feed and the extra work that would now be involved. She wasn't just a security guard. She wasn't just his girlfriend. She was a woman. A mother. And she was a godsend. 

Eric's eyes widened at her comment. "I hadn't even thought about names." Come to think of it, no one had ever said anything about names, he'd just assumed. But apparently Dana hadn't even done that much. He blinked. Most people had months to decide on names. "Guess I better do some thinking, huh?" 

He looked down at the bundle in his arms and at her shining eyes. Would it be possible to preserve that innocence in such a messed-up, corrupt world? All he could do was try. Nothing in this family had ever been easy. 

Setting her back down gently in her crib, she seemed satisfied enough for now to drift off to sleep again. Once Stacy was free again as well, Eric just turned to her and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug for several long moments. "Thank you," he whispered. He knew he kept saying it, but it was still true. "Troy comes back tomorrow...and there are so many things I have to figure out now. Just...be patient with me, okay? I'm not gonna be able to think through everything on my own."

Hopeless

Shaking his head Nate moves from his kneeled position to sitting down just watching Garret. Just letting Garret ramble Nate did his best to keep up. Though some spots seemed lost he did get the general idea of what had happened, and why Garret felt the way he did. It all seemed to fit into place like a puzzle and a better understanding on the man that sat in front of him was becoming clear.

 Finally as Garret stopped talking Nate was just quite a few more minutes his heart aching for the one he'd like to consider a friend now.  Shifting slightly Nate finally talks.

   "The janitor or Ty as we like to call him was worried about you, so he in turn called me, and I came not because I had to but because I thought maybe you could use a friend."

Pulling another bottle of water from his pocket Nate takes a sip falling quite and just letting the noises of the room rain for a moment. He'd come down here many times himself to just sit and think, to let time slip away. He understood the power of this room even if everyone else thought it was just a room.

   "I can't even start to imagen how it must feel to go through everything you have. There is no even pretending to know how that feels, but I can guess not good at all. Now is the time though to prove everyone wrong. You are you, you took the first step twords being free, and yes it didn't turn out exactly how you wanted it right away but its a step in the right direction and though it dosn't feel like it we DO care about you. That's why you are still here, that is why I am here, and thats why you have a little bit of freedom at the moment."

Now the mention of Victoria sent a pain in Nate's heart. He'd lost Laura once, and it hurt so bad. A lost love is never easy to deal with.

   "I dont think Victoria left because she didn't think you were worth it. She just saw the world differently. Losing someone you love hurts, I know that because before I got married to my wife it happened to me.  I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but you never know you might be surprised and see Victoria again. Hope is what drives us in this life, and if there is any words of wisdom I can tell you its never lose hope, even when everything seemed hopeless."

Entering the room with Eric Stacy couldn't help her own little knot of excitement in her stomach. Ashlee's father had never see her when she was born, he was off doing whatever. She'd never seen that look in his eye, or the smile that spread across his face. But now, thanks to Eric she got to see what she had missed. Some might think it was still, and didn't make sense but to her Eric had helped fill that small empty part.

   "It looks like she likes you."

Coming up along side Eric and standing close to him Stacy reaches down and lets the tiny baby grab her finger. Such strength in someone so small. Maybe they all could take a lesson from this sweet innocent girls.

   "I don't think they are every going to have a doubt if they are loved or not. If anything they might get sick of being loved to much."

Stacy gives a chuckle as she looks to Eric and gives a smile. Hearing the other baby start to make noise Stacy moves to her side and picks her up gently rocking her and humming. Looking to Eric again something accrued to her.

   "You know being there father you are going to still have to pick out names for them. We can't keep calling them baby for the rest of there lifes."

Can't Fix

The music had faded, leaving the dimly lit rec room in still silence. Garret’s ears picked up the sound of approaching footsteps, and he tensed but didn’t move. He only glanced up as Nate entered, but remained on the floor, slouched against the wall. His eyes threw Nate an angry glare. Why was he at work at this hour? Why had he come down here? Why had he brought first aid supplies? Why couldn’t Nate just leave him alone? 

Nate’s comment went ignored, but Garret did reach for the bottle of water and took a long swig. It hurt just to hold the bottle, but the water sure felt good sliding down his throat. 

Leaning his head back against the wall, he just closed his eyes for a few moments. “Shouldn’t you be at home with your wife and kid?” he muttered. “Or is the janitor just worried he’ll have my mess to clean up in the morning?” There was no other reason for Nate to be here. No one cared enough to be here to help. No one cared if he’d hurt himself. No one would care if he laid here all night in a bloody mess. It’s just the way it was. It’s the way it had always been.

He ignored the first aid supplies, just continuing to soak up the pain from the wounds he’d given himself. “Why don’t you just tell Reese to send me to prison?” The question was filled with irritation, but deeper still was a man on the verge of simply giving up. “No more paying Justin to come. No more watching me like a hawk. No more cleaning up after my messes.” He gestured at the blood he’d gotten on the punching bag and the floor. His eyes finally turned back to Nate, and though not as angry, they were full of pain – physical and emotional. “I’m not worth it. To anyone. Never have been, never will be. I wasn’t even worth it to my own parents, so why should someone like you care?” The words slipped out before he’d even thought about it, and he looked away again to take another swig of water. “I thought I was walking into freedom,” he rerouted his thoughts, “and instead, I walked right into a trap…that I laid for myself. Talk about irony.” He shook his head. “Oh yeah, the mighty Garret, so strong, so smart. Had a plan that was sure to stick and all it did was get him stuck in a new kind of hell.”  

He scoffed. “Go ahead. Tell Justin he succeeded in his little mind game. Congratulations to the counselor with the big ideas and relentless - albeit pointless - digging.” By now, his sentences weren’t even making all that much sense anymore. All his thoughts were mixed up and thrown together in one muddy mess. He flexed his fingers, but all it did as make his knuckles start to bleed again. 

“Did you know one of the first things they did to me was teach me English and get rid of my accent?” The topic had bounced yet again, in a completely different direction. “New name, new language, new country. New person, right? The original wasn’t good enough.” 

The words caught in his throat and before he could stop himself, he’d chucked the half-empty water bottle across the room where it hit the wall, sending water in all directions. “Let’s take a five-year-old and see if we can make a soldier out of him.” His tone had become angry again, and he gritted his teeth against his emotions. Justin had wanted the truth, but he refused to verbalize it. He refused to tell anyone the truth. The truth that he’d been sold by his own parents for money. The truth that he’d had no worth other than that single payment. “Let’s see if he’ll kill someone by the time he’s twelve. Let’s teach him how to seduce by the age of fifteen so he can get it down pat before we send him to China on his first mission. Let’s make him think he’s big stuff so he’ll believe he’s actually important.” 

Garret hadn’t realized that he’d been flexing his hands as he’d talked, only making the bleeding worse. His eyes had suddenly become hollow caverns, void of life. “And now let’s keep him under control so he won’t turn. ‘Cause if he does, over thirty years of service won’t mean a hill of beans and he’ll just be a new target to kill.” He paused as he stared at the floor. “Over thirty years,” he repeated more quietly. “And absolutely nothing to show for it. Not even the woman I love, ‘cause I just wasn’t worth it. Never was. Never will be.” 

A new glance was tossed in Nate’s direction. “Give up, Nate. You can’t fix thirty years of screwed-up programming.”


Eric grinned as he used Stacy as leverage to stand up, and flexed his leg. “Nah. They’d prolly just figure we were up in the hayloft or somethin’.” He threw her a sly look before taking her hand and interlocking her fingers with his. The hayloft seemed a pretty good idea…but at the moment, there was something a whole lot more important…and a whole lot heavier. 

Once at Angel’s, he and Stacy were let into the back room where the babies were currently sleeping. He was glad it was just him and Stacy…he’d rather do this without the eyes of the rest of his family. He knew they meant well, but…he just felt better doing it this way.

Still holding Stacy’s hand, he slowly entered the room, his heart pounding so hard, he feared others might be able to hear it. He could see the tiny bundles in the crib, and his hands trembled as he neared. They were beautiful. He was terrified…but they were beautiful. 

One of them stirred and opened her eyes, blinking in the light before she started to cry. Pure instinct drove Eric’s hands as he reached down and picked her up before cradling her close to his chest. “Shhh,” he crooned. “It’s okay.” She immediately ceased crying, and stared up at him to study his face, almost as if she knew.

He smiled as the tears started to silently fall again. He didn’t try to hide his emotions as he looked to Stacy. There was fear. Love. Joy. Worry. And there was righteous anger. “How could any mother do this to her children?” he choked out. Despite everything…despite this not being his plan or how he’d seen his future…holding his daughter in his arms now, like this, he knew instantly there was no way he could ever let either of them go. They were his, and his to stay. And they would never, ever feel unloved for what their mother had done. 

Man Hunt

Snuggled on the couch with Laura Nate started to doze off as his cell phone went off in his pocket. He was half tempted not to answer it at all but now that he was in charge of Garret he was always on call. 

Pulling his phone out and see it was in face work Nate gives Laura a gentil pat on the arm before moving her slightly to get up. He new she was relaxed and he didn't want to bother her at all. So going into the other room he finally answers it.

    "Hey Ty, whats up....Yeah I wouldn't imagen that would be very good...No No....I'll come in. Thanks Ty...see you in a bit."

Hanging up the phone Nate goes back into the living room. Bending down to give Laura a kiss he gives her an apoligetic smile.

   "Sorry babe I have to go into work for a little bit. If you need anything just call and...if you finish the movie dont tell me the murder is. It will give us good reason to watch the move all over again."

It didn't take long to get to the Elite. Checking in with Ty and letting him know he was there now Nate headed to the infirmary to get some antiseptic and bandages before making his way to the rec room. Seeing Garret just sitting on the floor Nate enters the room slowly. He didn't want to startle him to to much.

   "Man if thats what you do to a punching bag, I really dont want to be on your bad side."

Setting down a bottle of water Nate also takes out the other supplys for Garret's hands. He pained him to see how much pain Garret was in. Not just in the flesh but as emotionally. He wish that he could just take away the pain for him, but he new that was something he'd have to work out on his own.

Giving a nod to her Grandfather Victoria turns and leaves the room. It didn't surprise her that her next mission would be so soon. All she had to do now to clear her head and back in the game. She couldn't let her emotions get in the way, and she couldn't let on Garret not being there hurt more than it should. How lonely she felt already.

Stacy can't help but laugh as she gets up off the ground. Everything was a mess but humor was important, and see that Eric was trying made her feel good. It was a start in the right direction and she was happy he was works twords making the best of it.

   "Alright Alright, we can't sit here all day. Everyone might send out a man hunt for us."

Surfacing

Once Nate was gone, it was a while before Garret moved again, and even then, it was only to flop down on his cot. He wanted to take advantage of his new freedom in the building, but…something about lying here miserable was more appealing.

The next day, not much was different. After wandering the halls for a short while and avoiding anyone else, Garret found his way back to the infirmary, once again met by Rick. “Can I see Aaron?”

Rick pursed his lips in thought, but finally shrugged. Reese had told him to let Garret in if he wanted, unless he started trouble. “I guess. But he’s not a happy camper.”

Garret arched an eyebrow. “Would you be?” He made his way further into the room and to the back, behind the screen where Aaron lay in bed. “Aaron?”

His eyes fluttered open, and for just a moment, he almost seemed glad to see Garret. But it passed all too quickly, and his expression turned into a glare. “Traitor,” he hissed as he fought against the restraints that kept his wrists strapped to the bed.

Garret sighed and remained a few feet away. “I’ve got my reasons.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Like I got tired of being a soldier with no purpose other than to serve a madman.”

Aaron continued to pull at his restraints. “Those botched missions. Those times I saved your hide. You didn’t really make mistakes, did you? You were trying to get out.”

“Yeah…I was.”

“Why? Why would you do this?” Aaron’s voice rose. “Why would you stab us all in the back? Me? Stab me in the back? I risked my neck for you!”

“I know.” Garret remained calm as he folded his arms. “And I’m sorry – I didn’t foresee you getting caught in the middle.”

“And Victoria? Is she here too? That crazy-” Garret’s look warned him not to call names, and he just smirked instead. “You better not let her near me.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry. She didn’t stay.”

Aaron’s eyes narrowed. “You two have a thing, don’t you?”

“We did. But she didn’t agree with me leaving either.” Garret hid any emotions. “So now it’s just you and me.”

“I’ll never turn.” Aaron’s anger rose again. “I’ll never betray the Agency like you have.”

“We’ll see.”

“Get me out of here, Garret, I’m warning you.”

Garret cocked his head. “And you’re going to do…what? Look, I know this whole thing seems crazy, but if you cooperate, I might be able to keep you out of prison.”

“I’ll rot in prison before I help the Elite!” Aaron lunged against the straps, but his face contorted in pain.

Garret glanced down to his bandaged knee. “Even if you could run, you wouldn’t get far with that leg.”

“You just wait. When I get back to Medridge, it’ll be your sorry butt on the line. He won’t rest until you’re dead.”

Garret knew it was true. And he also knew that for the moment, he was safe. Victoria wouldn’t betray him, even if she didn’t agree. But Aaron was the wild card. “For now, you’re stuck here, so get used to it.” He turned to leave and kept walking, despite the line or profanity flung his direction with hate. Next stop – Reese’s office…

“...You’re not sending him to prison, are you?”

Reese stood at his filing cabinet, sifting through paperwork. “Not sure yet. It depends on how well he cooperates.”

Garret remained standing as well, and leaned on the back of the chair. “It wasn’t his fault, you know. He came to get me out because he was loyal to my command. He didn’t come with the intention to hurt anyone.”

“Yet he tried to kill Nate, then kidnapped and was ready to kill Susanne.” Reese turned and set his hands on his hips. “Why are you so concerned?”

“It’s just…” Garret bit his tongue. “You gave Carson a chance. He tortured an innocent woman, then wanted nothing to do with this place, except seducing your niece, yet you kept him out of prison.”

Reese bristled, but to a point, Garret was right. “I’ll let the seduction comment slide. You’re right about us keeping Carson here, though. We did give him a chance. But I deal with each case individually. If I feel Aaron is too great a risk, I will have him sent to prison. It’s that simple.”

“But he wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me!”

Reese raised his eyebrows at Garret’s loud voice. “Is there some…personal agenda here? Why are you so upset?”

Garret was quiet until he scoffed and turned to leave, muttering a curse. “I shoulda known better.” Back in his cell once again, he remained there for the rest of the day, despite his freedom. No one wanted him here. No one would listen to him, other than Nate. No one wanted to help him keep Aaron out of prison. No one even wanted his help with intel. What was the point?


“…So…you came here with a plan. How’s that working out for you?”

Garret threw Justin a glare. It was a couple days later, and he had been “asked” to have a chat with Justin again. It wasn’t supposed to be anything serious, although the atmosphere of the interrogation room made that difficult to believe. The last few day hadn’t been anything special. Garret had spent most of his time in his own cell, continuing to avoid other people - even Nate. He might have freedom within the building, but he still didn’t have anything to do, and he could feel Reese watching his every move. He took advantage of the facilities and food, usually after hours, though. He wanted to get in close with someone. Help with a case. Help with Carson’s case. But he hadn’t been given that chance just yet, and everyone here was still too leery. Nate was the only one he talked to at all, other than Rick when he went to see Aaron, and Aaron was now giving him the silent treatment. It all wasn’t as bad as being locked up, for sure. But it was still a kind of prison, and his frustrations were building. He wanted something to do. He wanted to protect Aaron. He still knew he’d messed everything up. ...And he missed Victoria.

Justin shrugged. He was just here for a routine evaluation, but it appeared Garret’s stubbornness had returned. “You’re on opposite sides of Victoria now. What if you meet on a mission?” All he got was another glare. “Okay. What about Aaron? Reese tells me you’re trying to keep him here. Why?”

“Why not?”

“I dunno. He was an extra player you didn’t plan on. He interfered in a way you didn’t like. If it weren’t for him, Victoria might still be here. If he hadn’t -”

“It wasn’t his fault!” Garret cut him off angrily, then stopped, getting a handle on his emotions. He had to get his control back. He didn’t like feeling so much so often, and was losing his skill to keep a lid on it. “The only reason Aaron acted was because of me. He shouldn’t even be here. So why wouldn’t I be trying to keep him out of prison?”

Justin jotted down a note. “You two friends? I mean…as much as there can be friends in the Agency.”

Garret leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head. “What’s with the counselor questions again?”

Justin grinned before shoving aside his notepad. “Just curious as to why you’re so keen on keeping Aaron safe. Any ulterior motives?”

“This is coming from Reese, isn’t it? Will he never stop suspecting me? My begging to be trusted has just been wasted breath since I got here.”

“I never said any of this was coming from Reese. But if it were, could you blame him? If you were still in the Agency and an Elite officer walked in and said they wanted to be on your side all of a sudden, what would you do?”

Garret smirked. “Probably shoot him in the head.”

“Right. Now I know you want to be trusted. And I know that Nate is one of the few people who does, but -”

“What about you?” Garret cocked his head. “Do you trust me?”

Justin’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I trust your intentions. But I don’t think you’re being completely honest about everything.”

Garret’s eyes finally dropped, as did his arms and his tone. He glanced at the mirror, knowing full well that Nate was on the other side – probably hoping he’d say something to help convince Reese to trust him. “Honesty…isn’t my strong point.”

“Why not?”

“Because closing off one’s own self from the world is one of the first things a Potential is taught to do.”

Justin quirked an eyebrow. “What’s a Potential?”

Garret shot another glance at the mirror. “A…Potential… is someone the Agency thinks has the potential for high ranks.”

Justin’s eyes took in all of Garret’s body language, and each subtle clue. And he again he knew he had hit a nerve. But he also knew he had to be extremely careful. “How do they decide who a Potential is?”

“Tests, mostly.”

“What kinds of tests?”

Garret turned his head to pop his neck both directions. “Just tests.”

“Like…IQ tests? Physical tests?”

Out of nowhere, Garret got to his feet and faced the mirror, hands on hips. “Really?” he asked Nate, even though he couldn’t see him. “Does this even matter?”

Justin stayed relaxed in his chair. “Sometimes relationships need understanding as a foundation.”

Garret turned around, his emotions flaring again. “Alright. How about you? Why do you try so hard to get into people’s heads? Or is your own head an unpleasant place to be?”

Justin’s lips turned up slightly. “My head can be unpleasant at times, yes. Especially since as a boy I grew up constantly at odds with my brother who later blamed me for our father’s death. And…I blamed myself, too. We had a very unhealthy relationship, then not all that long ago, he got hit by a bus and should have died. But didn’t. And part of me wishes he had. And part of me still blames myself about my dad. So, I spend most of my time trying to help other people…because I don’t like spending time in my own head… and because I was born with the potential to help other people work through their own heads.”

Garret couldn’t help but be surprised at Justin’s openness. “Well, some people are born with the potential to become soldiers for psychopaths.”

“I would agree to the soldier part, but not the psychopath part. Did you volunteer to be a part of the Agency?”

Garret started to pace. “No.”

“But you weren’t an Agency baby – born there for experimentation.”

“No.”

“So you wanna tell me how you came to be there?”

“No.”

Justin sighed. “Yet you want me to trust you.”

“So trust requires laying everything in my life bare? To give you complete intimate details of every day of my life? Wanna know about my missions, next? How about who I’ve killed? Or slept with for intel?” Garret turned to face Justin and leaned his hands on his table to get down to eye-level with him. “At what point will Reese say it’s enough to trust me? Where’s the line? Tell me, so I can decide whether it’s worth it to get there or not.”

Justin didn’t flinch, just remaining seated and calm. And the part of his heart that he was supposed to guard on cases cracked just a little. He could almost literally feel the pain hanging in the air. “I know it hurts.” His voice was quiet. “Whatever it is, I know it’s painful. And I’m sorry. But I also know that whatever it is you’re not saying is the building block on which your character has been built. And that is all I want to know.”

Garret sank down in his chair again. This was so far removed from any kind of tests or torture he’d endured in the Agency. His instincts told him to shut down and keep himself safe, while his ultimate desire for freedom battled against that very instinct. And without warning, his mind had taken him to a place and time very far away…

“So you have the money?”
“Alright, so just sign these papers and…”
“You do have the money correct?”
“We just need to finish up these…”
“Five thousand, you promised.”
“Yes, yes, of course, Madam. Please, we need to first have you sign the papers.”

A little, blonde five-year-old boy stood back in the corner of the dim room where he’d been told to stay by his mother. He clutched his teddy bear tightly, while his eyes remained wide and confused. His gaze bounced between his mother, father, and the two strange men as the four of them huddled around the table – the single piece of furniture in this queer place. They’d traveled to the city today, which wasn’t completely abnormal, but they’d come to a certain back street where it felt like bad things happened. But without proof of this feeling, or understanding, the little boy could do nothing but stand and watch.

“His name?”

“Hans. His name is Hans.”

All speech was in German – the only language the little boy knew, though what they were saying still made little sense. Once the adults were finished talking, he saw a thick envelope passed from one of the strangers to his father, where it was then tucked safely in a jacket pocket, and his mother smiled.

Next came the strangest hug he would ever remember receiving. He was used to being hugged by his mother, but this was different. It had a confusing emotion that only added to the ill feeling in his stomach. She smiled at him, but it wasn’t a smile he was used to. And then…she was gone. Along with his father.

He wanted to follow, but one of the strangers held him back. When he wasn’t set free, panic took over, and he started to scream as tears streamed down his face. He tried to rip himself free, but the man was just too strong.

“Stop this instant!” The other man knelt in front of him at eye-level. “You’re coming with us.”

The little boy stopped struggling, more out of shock than obedience. But he didn’t understand the English words being spoken to him.

“Hans, yes?”

He blinked away another tear.

“No… you’ll have a different name now.” The man checked a piece of paper. “Looks like from here on out, you’re going to be…Garret. And one of these days, Garret, you’ll never even remember you were born with another name.” The man stood up again, but not before wiping away the little boy’s tears. “And from here on out, tears are not necessary.”

It would be many years before that little boy would realize just what had happened that night. He had been sold for five thousand German mark. And in spite of that one man’s words, he never did forget his real name…or the teddy bear that had been left behind…

“Garret... Garret?”

He snapped back to attention and blinked at Justin. He’d only zoned out for a couple seconds, but it felt like an eternity, and it took him another moment to bring everything back into focus. “I don’t remember.” He returned to Justin’s original line of questioning with a lie. “I was too young to remember how I got into the Agency.”

Justin didn't have to ask - he knew Garret had just experienced a flashback. It took him by surprise, but he knew it was time for him to stop pushing. Garret was a man who wouldn't tolerate it. The heat had been turned up enough. “I don’t think that's true.” Justin was still calm as he stood up and gathered his notepad and pen to slip into his backpack. “But I’m not going to pressure you anymore about it.”

Garret swallowed hard. “Why?”

“Because some things shouldn’t be forced to the surface. They need to see the light of day in their own time…when they’re ready. And when they're ready...we'll talk again about that foundation for relationships.”

Garret’s jaw tightened as he pushed his feelings back down. “Why are you doing this?”

Justin smiled a little as he slung his pack over his shoulder. “Because I have the potential to help, remember?” He started to leave, then paused. “One thing, though…you might want to come clean on the fact that you simply care about Aaron as a friend and that’s the only real reason why you don’t want him going to prison. Believe it or not…Reese would understand.”

Left alone in the room, Garret knew the door wasn’t locked. But he didn’t get up yet. Not until the images in his mind were gone.

Next door, Justin stopped in to see Nate, and just watched Garret’s unusually still form for a few seconds. “I don’t know what happened to him…but whatever it was is more traumatic than anything else he’s experienced as an Agency soldier. My guess is it was as a child. Maybe something he witnessed. Maybe something he did. But how he ever got into the Agency – if he can face that, you’ll have one of the strongest men on your team.” He gave Nate a sidelong glance. “But I’m not going to tear open a man’s wounds without good reason. As far as I’m concerned, he’s protecting his own emotions at this point – not the Agency. And from what I observed, how he got into the Agency is going to have to surface on its own. Other than that…he’s just a man like anyone else who, at the moment, is alone and depressed. I sense no real threat in him, but I'd leave him be for a while.”

…Eventually, Garret got up and left the room, heading back downstairs to his cell. He shut the door this time though, hoping no one would bother him. This whole thing was just stupid. Day after day of nothingness. What was the point?

He wouldn’t leave his cell again until that evening when he knew everyone had gone home for the day. Everyone but Ty, who would be cleaning. After hardly moving all day though, Garret’s muscles needed to get up and do something. Anything. His own mind was driving him mad. Especially after Justin’s little chat.

He wandered into the rec room and turned on just one of the lights to provide a dim atmosphere. Maybe…this would help clear his head. He took a few minutes to get his bearings, and found a CD player in the corner. After sifting through the stack of music, he picked a rock mix and turned up the volume enough that he couldn’t hear anything else.

Slipping off his shoes and socks, he faced the punching bag without any hand gear. At first, he started slow to warm up, but soon his pent-up frustration began to seep out. The music reverberated in his head, and with each swing, his mind’s eye saw things like Medridge. Innocents he’d killed. Reese’s distrust. Victoria’s departure. His parents.

Punching combinations were mixed with hard kicks to the bag, raising his heart rate and bringing on sweat that ran down the sides of his face. Nothing had gone right lately. He’d messed up and lost everything that was important to him. He’d been dictated by the Agency almost his entire life. What he’d thought was status and control had only been slavery. And he’d been stupid enough to believe he’d actually been valued. Then he'd been stupid enough to believe this lame plan would work.

Time didn’t seem to matter, and only the clocks knew how long Garret had been beating on the punching bag. But by now, his hair and shirt were soaked with sweat. His knuckles had been beaten raw and were now leaving bloody smears on the bag with each punch. The tops of his feet looked no better, swollen and bleeding. But the pain was welcome. As his body’s nerves retaliated to the beating, it gave his mind something else to focus on…something other than his inner turmoil. Feeling the physical pain was better than feeling the mental pain.

Eventually though, even Garret had to tire out. Drenched in sweat and in a bruised and bleeding state, he grabbed the bag just to stay upright, breathing heavily. But too exhausted to keep going, he managed a couple steps to the wall, where he sank down to the floor. His feet hurt too badly to move, and flexing his fingers caused his knuckles to throb. He knew he needed to clean up the mess he’d made, but he was too tired, mentally and physically.

The loud music droned on, and he simply remained on the floor, slumped back against the wall. And the pain…the pain felt good. Closing his eyes, he was too tired to fight the fog that descended over this mind.

...Upstairs, Ty watched the security monitor closely. He'd been watching Garret for the last ten minutes, half impressed by the man's stamina, and half cringing as he saw how much beating on that bag must hurt. Garret didn't look good at all. And even though it was now almost midnight, Ty picked up the phone and dialed Nate. "Hey, it's Ty. Sorry to bother you so late. Look, um... I'm at the office cleaning up and I'm on security duty tonight. Anyway, Garret's in the rec room and just beat the tar out of the bag and himself pretty good. I don't think he'd want me barging in on him but...I don't think he should be alone. If you want me to call Justin or Rick instead, I will, but...I know he trusts you the most."

Medridge sighed deeply and his eyes narrowed as he studied his granddaughter. "I will keep you informed." That was all he would commit to. "When I have a plan in place, I will see if it would benefit from your involvement or not. In the meantime, do rest. Your next mission will be in Russia, so prepare your mind." 

He gave her a slow nod to dismiss her. "That is all. I must plan now. Garret is not an easy man to replace."


Eric couldn't begin to express how much Stacy's presence meant to him right now. The encouragement was more than anyone else could give. Knowing that she would stick it out with him in spite of all that was happening, was truly amazing to him. The future was so uncertain. But her being there...he could count on that. And right now, that's what he needed. And it's what he thanked God for. 

He swiped away any remaining tears and nodded. "Yeah...yeah, I need to see them." He was scared to death and would rather avoid the whole thing. But he couldn't. Not anymore. The time for ignoring this issue was over. "I'd like it if you came with me." 

He started to move, before a sheepish chuckle slipped out. "But I think my leg's locked up on me." Maybe it was his nervousness that caused the laughter, but he shook his head with genuine humor. "I think I might need your help here..." 

Failed Mission

Standing Victoria just watches her Grandfather for a long moment. The she held her composure her emotions still ran wild. She couldn't help but wonder what would happen to her if it was found out that Garret was still alive. It was not something she wanted to think about but she new sooner or later she would have to face it.

   "I'd like to be in on whatever you have planned for revenge. It was my job to bring Garret back and I failed that mission because of them. That is not something I take lightly."

Victoria wondered if she would be allowed in on this but since she really didn't have any other mission right now she had high hopes. She didn't stay with Garret for many more than on reason but she did still want to make sure he was safe. He deserved the freedom he was looking for and if she could help with even a little of that.

   "Not to mention I think I can whip some of the other guys into shape being there."

Letting out a long sigh Nate had a small suspicion something like this might happen. He new it must be hard for Garret to accept and deal with Victoria being gone. Nate hoped that he would recover sooner rather than later but only time would tell.

Walking back past the cell Nate stops for a moment looked in. Was it only Victoria that kept that spot in Garrets heart soft. Nate couldn't help but wonder.

   "If you need anything else, just let me know."

Continuing to just lightly rub Eric's arm Stacy was quiet. A lot of things were going to change now, and a lot of things with them were going to change. Nothing bad, or to to drastic but things were going to be different. She new Eric was scared but for some reason she really wasn't.

   "I can only imagen how hard it is. It's going to be ok though, and your going to make the best dad around. You're already like a father to Ashlee."

Taking her finger and wiping some of the tears away Stacy gives a soft smile to Eric. Letting her arms slip around him Stacy pulls him into a hug and just holds him for a long moment. It was going to take some getting use to but Stacy new it would be ok.

   "Want to go and see them? They are mighty cute looking. I'll even go with you."

Father

Medridge listened intently to Victoria, showing little to no emotion...until she delivered the news of Garret's death. His eyes darkened and his grip on his cane tightened. He refrained from standing, though, until she'd finished. 

Rising, he wandered to his map on the wall where marks and notations would make sense to no one but him. He leaned on his cane and sighed deeply. "Aaron was not much of an asset. I trust your judgement, so if he was a weak link, I'm glad to be rid of him." He was quiet for several moments before he turned back around. "But Garret..." He shook his head. "I had great plans for that man. Never have I had someone in the ranks who fit the profile so perfectly for someone to be my partner in running this empire." 

His eyes narrowed. "He had skills to take out a mob - so if they killed him, I can't imagine what he must have looked like. The Elite...they will pay." Anger laced his tone. "They took the wrong man to make a point. An eye for an eye...an agent for an agent." 

He turned again and ran a finger over his map. "Go and rest. You must be tired. You are free for three days."


Glancing up from the floor, Garret was surprised it was Nate, and even more surprised at being asked to join him outside the cell. Nate wanted to show him around? What for? Why? Just listening though, he was hesitant to believe Reese had changed his tune. The stipulations...they made Garret bristle, but he held his tongue. 

He remained silent for the entire tour. Some things he'd figured out on his own, and others were new. Being allowed access to so many things though...it was almost too good to believe. The rec room brought on a bit of interest. It might be nice having somewhere other than his cell to try and work off some energy.

Turning to Nate, he folded his arms, his eyes still dark and hollow. "Too bad Reese didn't  change his mind before Victoria left." 

He aimed back towards his cell and went back inside to sit on the cold floor again, but left the door open. His gaze remained out in the hall though, still watching Nate. "Thank you though," he mentioned just loud enough for Nate to hear.


Eric could hear someone coming up behind him, but knew it was Stacy, so he didn't move. Her soft voice...her touch...her words...they were all strong enough to help soothe his soul.

He remained quiet for just a little while, though his hand reached over to find hers and hold it. His eyes remained on the countryside surrounding them, but his mind was so very far away.

Eventually, he found his voice. "Results came back." His tone was soft, almost timid. And it was another long pause before he could continue. "I...I'm a father." Just saying out loud made it even more terrifying, and before he could stop them, tears filled his eyes, one of them tumbling down his cheek. He cleared his throat and shook his head. "Wow..." He forced almost a chuckle. "Kinda hard to say that, ya know?"