Spare me...

The restaurant had been closed for a couple days, but Carson had come by to check on things anyway, knowing that he would need to open up again - and soon - if he was going to keep it afloat. He'd fiddled in the kitchen a while, checked supplies and decided to lock up again before heading to the apartment. Apparently Jaz was still staying with Con and Jamie tonight - which was just fine with Carson. He'd rather not have to worry about her too right now, with everything else going on. 

Hearing the bell on the front door ring, his senses are alerted. Nobody should be here. It was almost midnight. Cautiously looking out from the kitchen, he sees nothing. No one. Strange. Too strange. Now completely on guard, he makes his way slowly out into the dining area, still seeing no one. When he reaches the door though, he suddenly spies a note taped to the glass. Frowning, he takes it off and brings it to where there was more light. It was just a scrap of paper with a quickly-written note:

Game over. You win. 

Carson's eyes roam the interior of the restaurant again. This didn't make any sense. The Agency had won, not him. They had succeeded in tearing his and Misty's lives apart. Why... would this be from them? Yet there was no other explanation. Who else would leave such a note? And things had been quiet the last few days. Since everything had blown up, no one from the Agency had contacted him or Jaz at all. Would they... really let them go now? Of course... the damage had been done. They probably knew that Misty wasn't taking him back - a bonus to Medridge for sure. And now they'd just... drop the whole thing? Let them go? 

Carson crumples the note in his hand. Yes... yes, the Agency would do that. Because without an end, he would constantly be looking over his shoulder, wondering when they would be back. 

Getting home, Tal found himself sitting for a long time in the living room, kept company by Holly and Tasha. No lights... no television... just him and his thoughts. And though pondering for a long while the things Ryan had said, and his relationship with her, when he finally went to bed, he had come to very few conclusions... other than he was still didn't understand how he'd gotten to this point or why. It didn't feel fair and it didn't make sense...

It was rare that Tal was late getting anywhere, but the next morning, he clocked in at work a half an hour later than when he was supposed to. It was a very quiet morning, with several guys not coming in until the afternoon. Normally, Tal would like it  just being him and Eli, but today he was just a little reluctant. Silently going to help Eli prep a car, he sets to work.

Looking over at his friend, Eli immediately picks up on his friend's mood and decides not to tease him about being late. "Mornin!"

"Mmhmm." Tal sticks to his end of the car, not feeling like much small talk.

Eli quirks an eyebrow but doesn't pursue conversation. On a normal day, the garage would be filled with their banter as they worked. Today, it was silent, and it created an odd atmosphere.

Twenty minutes later though, Tal couldn't stand it any longer. "Did you know?"

Eli looks to him quickly, surprised at the abrupt entry to conversation. But he knew exactly what Tal was talking about. He'd wondered how last night had gone with Ryan - she'd been awfully quiet when getting home - and he was already guessing it hadn't been the best of dates. Now he wasn't sure just how to respond, but the truth was a good place to start. "Yes..." He continues working, as does Tal.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Figured that was Ryan's job."

"So... you don't really care either? That the guy who wanted me dead was hanging around?"

Eli pauses at the car and turns to look at Tal. "You know that's not true."

"Well it sure feels like it." Tal's tone was angry...hurt. "I almost die... you both seem upset about it... then my attacker shows up and neither of you even thought to mention it?"

Eli could feel himself starting to tense, but he still didn't know the best approach to this whole thing.

Tal took advantage of the pause to keep talking. "I mean... Ryan says she loves me... yet she's fighting feelings for a man who put me in the hospital? I understand she was in love with Alec and I get that he had her heart before me. But now? To not only let him close but let him kiss her? Allow him that close? While I'm in the background, the clueless fool, thinking I did something wrong?"

Eli steps back from the car and folds his arms, sighing. Tal had a point, and he didn't know what to say. "A woman's heart is-"

"Spare me the talk about hearts!" Tal raises his voice, throwing his rag to the side. "It's about honesty... loyalty... integrity. If I meant anything to Ryan, she woulda either told Alec to get lost or at the very least, given me a heads up so I could be watching my back."

Eli had sense enough to know that Tal was more upset with the situation than at Eli himself - it wasn't like Tal to yell, and maybe the best thing right now was to just let him vent. "I'm sorry this whole thing has upset you."

"Upset? I'm disappointed. Hurt." And it showed in Tal's eyes. "If Jane Doe hurt Ryan then showed up again, if I really cared for her, I'd tell Jane Doe to get lost! If nothing else, just for hurting somebody I care for. Or is that it? Do I not mean enough to Ryan to have her stand up for me like that?"

"Now hang on," Eli counters calmly. "You didn't see her want to beat Alec to a pulp for what he did to you."

"And now? I'm glad she can forgive a man like him, but obviously I wasn't on her mind when she started falling for Alec all over again."

"Nobody said she-"

"Aw come off it," Tal growls. "If it had been nothing, she wouldn't have felt the need to apologize. It doesn't take a genius to put the pieces together! Alec came along and she still had some feelings left for him."

"Well she can't help it if-"

"If she decides to be good buddies with an ex that tried to kill her boyfriend?"

"She chose you!"

"After she had to stop and think about it? How long did it take for her to pick me over the guy that wanted me dead? Oh, and in the meantime, neither of you even have the decency to let me know what was going on so I'd at least have a fighting chance!"

Eli groans in frustration, trying very hard not to get riled. "Why are you focusing on the bad? Why can't you just realize that she chose to stay with you? So her heart wandered a little, but she didn't do anything wrong, and she did choose you."

"But it was hard for her!" Tal stalks to a nearby shelf for some plastic. "If you had an old flame show up and hurt Scarlet, then later she came back, would you even think twice about not getting involved with her again?"

Eli's eyes were angry, but he controls his tone. "No."

"And thus, the problem." Tal throws up his hands. "And Ryan just wants things to be all great between us now? Like nothing ever happened? If it was just an old ex, I might understand. But it's someone who hurt me. So either I'm off my rocker, or Ryan really doesn't care that I got hurt. And if she doesn't care that I got hurt... then I have a hard time believing she loves me."

"Look, you can't just-"

"Boys!" Sandy appears in the doorway, hands on hips. "What is with you? Take your personal problems off the clock!"

Both men grow quiet and get back to the car, a tense silence reigning again for several minutes until Eli speaks. "You have to be patient, Tal. Ryan and Alec had something special. Things like that don't go away overnight."

Tal's stomach was in knots as he works on covering a headlight. "And sometimes they never do."

Eli sighs and wanders to the front of the car to look down at Tal. "Don't you trust her?"

Tal focuses on his work before glancing up at his friend. "Would you?" 

Eli knew his pause spoke for him before he turns to go back to the rear of the car.

Tal nods. "Yeah. Can you blame me?"

"No. Does this mean you're breaking things off?"

"I don't know what it means. I love her, Eli. I just can't trust that she won't give her heart back to Alec all over again."

"How 'bout marrying her so she's yours?"

Tal glances up with a little smirk. "You think I haven't thought of that? But how can I ask her to marry me when I know that 'something special' still exists between her and Alec? Not that I think she can't bury it if she wants... but I want to be fair to her too. If she and Alec have something she and I don't... I don't want her to wind up unhappy a few years down the road, wishing she would have chosen Alec instead. And to be quite honest... I want her whole heart, not just the part that doesn't belong to Alec."

Eli continues to work for a few more minutes, mulling over this whole thing. He wondered if Ryan even knew the can of worms she'd opened. "There's always risk, Tal. Always."

"Doesn't seem to be with you and Scarlet."

Eli laughs. "She frequently goes out of town for weeks at a time. What's she doing while she's gone?"

"Well, working."

"Is that all?"

"I'd sure hope so."

"Me too. But I don't know for sure, do I?" Eli shrugs. "I just gotta trust she's not shopping around for other guys. Granted, I think I know her well enough now to tell if she was lying to me, but I never know a hundred percent, do I? I just choose to trust her."

Tal fiddles with a spot on the bumper. "So you're saying to trust Ryan after all this?"

"I'm saying you either gotta break up with her or trust her. It's gotta be one or the other. Otherwise you're gonna drive yourself insane... and me in the process too."

Tal sighs deeply before standing and waiting for Eli to finish before they would start painting. "She said if I needed some time, she'd give it to me..."

"And...?"

"I dunno." Since Scarlet was returning today, it was normal for her and Eli to be gone, which usually meant Tal would be at the apartment with Ryan, taking advantage of it just being the two of them. "I think tonight though, I better stay home."

...And the message left on Ryan's voice mail was simple.
"It's me, um... gonna stay home with my two girls tonight, so... yeah. Talk to you soon. Bye."

Sooner or Later

As the night draws to an end it was not how Ryan had pictured it at all. She didn't like leaving on these terms and she didn't like feeling like this, but there was very little she could do at this point. The damage had been done and the hurt caused now she had to pay the price for what she'd done.

Getting the small kiss from Tal Ryan smiles a little and her eyes held so much emotion. She wasn't ready to say good night would there be a tomorrow? Ryan wasn't sure but for once in her life she feared the unknown.

   "Good Night Tal, I hope to see you sooner than soon."

Exiting the car and making her way up the sidewalk Ryan stops and turns around giving a wave before entering the house. Seeing Eli was still awake Ryan enters the room giving him a little wave. Setting her purse down on the couch Ryan wonders into the kitchen to get a drink not really saying much.

Giving Alec's arm another pat Misty stands. She could tell he was trying to change the subject and she understood. She wouldn't push it anymore. He new where she was and that he could talk to her anytime if he needed too.

   "I did, I decided to get fish fry, and fried shrimp. Just something different that still tastes good."

Heading into the kitchen agani and start unpacking the bags Misty called back into the other room to Alec. It was nice having him here with her. It provided her her someone to talk too and spend time.

   "You are more than welcome to join me."

Smile down at Rosalyn and giving her hand a little squeeze. It had only been a day but he was happy to be here adn get to share these moments with Rosalyn. He wasnt going to miss out on a second. 

  "I'll meet you in the kitchen in ten."

Stepping back and letting Rosalyn go  Chad makes his way to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and wait for her. He couldn't wait to see what today held for them.

Goodnight

Tal holds Ryan close, wishing he didn't feel the way he did. He knew Ryan was doing all she could to keep him... that she did love him and want him... but dealing with the facts right now wasn't easy. 

Looking down and seeing her tears, it cuts him to the quick. Ryan rarely cried in front of anybody, and it pained him to see her so upset. "Hey now..." He lifts his hand to wipe away the tears. "There's no call for that..." 

But did he have an answer to her question? Where did they go from here? Keeping his arms around her, he looks out at the glistening water, wondering how things had become so complicated so fast. "I don't know," he finally responds. "I guess we just take things one day at a time and see where we end up."

Sitting with her for a few more minutes, eventually he prompts her to rise with him again so they could return to the car. Not much else could be said right now, and smalltalk seemed rather trite when compared to the subject that was now hanging thick in the atmosphere. Though Tal holds Ryan's hand almost all the way back to town, he remains quiet, lost in his own thoughts...

...Pulling into the parking lot at the apartment, Tal parks the car and turns to study Ryan for a moment before leaning over and giving her lips a tender kiss. "Goodnight, Ryan... I'll talk to you soon, okay?"


Alec manages a little smirk and he shakes his head at Misty. "There was a time when I thought good looks was all I needed..." He sighs. "Wish I woulda gotten my head on straight sooner."

Finally straightening up to relieve Misty's shoulder, he looks down at his hands. It had helped a little to talk about things. He, like Misty, wished it could be fixed though. And it just couldn't. Could he really move on? Could he really move forward? Would he ever be able to let go of Ryan? Tonight, it felt like he'd never be able to. But as far as she was concerned... he didn't have much of a choice anymore. 

"Did you say you had something for supper?" He wasn't hungry, but he was ready for this conversation to be over for now. 


Leaning into Chad's hand, Rosalyn smiles. She loved his voice... the way he spoke such romantic words while staring into her eyes. "You sir... are a flirt." She giggles and stands on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "But please don't change." 

Taking his hand, she gives it a squeeze before aiming for the doorway. "Let me go clean myself up and then I'll meet you in the kitchen.... if... you want." 

This Moment

Leaning her head on Tal's shoulder Ryan lets out a long sigh as a tear rolls down her cheek. This hurt so bad knowing now that Tal doubted them. It was sad and Ryan felt even worse that she had been the one to cause this.

   "Tal...I'm...I'm sorry."

Ryan didn't know what else to say or do she felt so lost. She'd never been in this position before and she wasn't sure what to do or how to do it now. Maybe if she just gave Tal space things would become ok again.

   "I...I don't know what else to do Tal. Where do we go from here now?"

Listing to Alec Misty's heart cried for him. She could see the pain in his eyes and in his voice. It pained her that he had to keep going through this stuff. She wished there was a way to take away his pain that there was a magic sure but if she had one she would use it on herself too.

   "Oh Alec, I'm so sorry. If I could wave a wand and take away you pain I would."

Laying a hand on Alec's arm and giving it a gentil rub Misty really did feel bad for him. She new what it was like to not have Carson but to have someone who you still cared and wanted back it must be ten times worse. 

   "Maybe Alec...it is time to move on. There are many more fish in the sea even if it doesn't seem like it. Don;t just let one get you down. Learn from it, grow and move forward. You'r far to good looking of a guy to stay down for to long."

Smiling down at Rosalyn Chad thought every with her hair a mess she looked so wonderful to him. Even when she rambled, he loved every part of her and it made his heart thump to see her right now in her true natural beauty.

   "Mmm...Good Morning my Princess."

Bringing his hand to the side of her face again and brushing a hair behind her ear Chad smiles just letting his hand cradle her face and run his thumb over her cheek. So soft under his rough hands, he loved the way it felt.

   "You look as pretty in the morning as you do through out the day. With you each and everyday is a bonus - Whether it be for one moment, One day or a million moments. Being with you makes me, Feel new and bright. Being able to be just us. With you we both create a wealth of warmth rising from our hearts. A happy atmosphere of love. Each and everyday is a bonus. I feel lucky and alive. You fill me with youth and masses and masses of tender loving care. I treasure every moment with you. Thank you for coming into my life."

Better Off

Confusion continues to bind Tal's heart and mind as he listens to Ryan. He believed her when she said she loved him. He believed this was what she wanted. But what he didn't know was whether or not she still loved Alec too, and if that would come back to haunt him all over again. 

Drawn into a kiss, he's reminded of Ryan's sweet affection. Her fingers running through his hair send little tingles down his spine, and she pulls away too soon in his opinion. With his forehead resting against her, he studies the depth of her eyes. Would he ever be able to understand all he saw in her gaze? Quiet for several moments, his hand rises to caress her face. Words couldn't really express what he was feeling right now anyway. Initiating another kiss, he pulls her back close, wrapping his arms more tightly around her while one of his hands rubs her shoulder lovingly. Deepening the kiss, he allows his passion to show, just letting the minutes tick by. 

Eventually though, he winds down the exchange with several softer kisses before finally pulling away again. Closing his eyes, he takes a moment to catch his breath, just wishing this was all there was... that nothing had interrupted their feelings... that nothing had disturbed what they shared. But... it had. 

"I want you with all my heart," he whispers. "But that's why this hurts. I just don't understand. I wish I did, but I don't." 

Opening his eyes again, there is torture in his gaze. A battle. Fear versus love. "You're everything to me and I don't want to let you go. I've just never fought something like this before and I'm not sure how."

Misty's comforting touch and soft words chip away at the walls Alec's heart was trying so hard to rebuild. Remaining quiet for several moments, he battles within himself - speak and risk an overflowing of emotions, or close up and let the hard shell return. 

Finally opening his eyes just a little, he shifts his gaze to the side at Misty. Still silent, he sits up just to shift his weight and lean his head on her shoulder. Closing his eyes again, he sighs deeply. "I was stupid... that's what happened." His voice was quiet... defeated. "Somehow, I guess I fooled myself into thinking I could get back what I most wanted." 

He pauses to swallow hard, fighting his rampant emotions. "I was surprised Ryan said she forgave me." He hadn't told Misty of all the encounters he'd had with Ryan lately. "I knew I didn't deserve it. I was even more surprised at her smile. That same smile I used to see. All of a sudden, there was this little bit of hope... that even if it didn't make sense, I might be able to get back at least part of what I'd ruined." 

Once more, he opens his eyes, just to stare into the dimly lit living room, leaving his head on Misty's shoulder. "Eli warned me to back off. He said I was upsetting Ryan. But... I didn't want to be bullied. I wanted to find out for myself what Ryan wanted. So... today, I... well, I went to see her at the shop." He stops again, trying to remember if there was something he'd missed... something he'd misread in Ryan. "She didn't seem to know about Eli and said she was fighting between loving me and hating me. I figured it was a lost cause, but I... I kissed her anyway. Didn't expect her to return it but... she did. Then she said she looked forward to seeing me again." 

Another sigh surfaces. "Figured that was a good sign. For the first time, I could almost see where just maybe I could get her back. I hadn't been home long, and she called me. Said she meant what she'd told me, but now she wanted me to back off... give her time with Tal before she could be friends with me. Said she couldn't yet let go of the things I'd done." 

Alec felt like a total idiot. Somewhere along the way, not only had he had a lapse in judgment, but he had to have totally misread something. His voice was still quiet as he finishes explaining. "I said okay and that was that. She wasn't mean or anything... I could tell she was upset, but... it was like all that stuff before just didn't mean a thing. Felt like it was all something my mind had made up so I could believe she still had feelings for me." He shrugs lamely. "I guess it just took the wind out of my sails... again. I'd been better off never speaking to her again."

Feeling Chad's tender kiss and his voice, Rosalyn stirs from her sleep. Stretching, she yawns and opens her eyes sleepily, trying to bring Chad's face into focus. Sighing, she gives him a groggy smile. It was nice to see him here. Have him wake her up. He was so sweet. He was...

All at once, Rosalyn realizes where she is. Sitting bolt upright, she looks to the clock on the wall and groans. "I should have been up an hour ago. Jade's gonna kill me." Standing up, she tosses the blanket aside and runs her fingers through her unruly hair, feeling quite a mess without having had her shower yet. 

"I was supposed to start the cinnamon rolls, rearrange the tables, get the orange juice out of... wait, I smell coffee already." Furrowing her brow, she stops and looks at Chad, realizing she'd just been rambling. Biting her lip, she gives him a sheepish grin. "Good morning... Thanks for waking me up." What she really wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and invite a passionate kiss, but she knew she looked a sight, she hadn't brushed her teeth yet and... she'd rather let him take the lead as far as affection went, just to be on the safe side.

Not Only

   "Than don't keep looking over your shoulder, because I am not going to anymore. I am going to move forward..forward with you. There is no way for you to know how I am feeling other than telling you, there are no more actions I can do but showing you my love. But its what I have to give for you, and its what I have to offer."

Sitting in Tal's lap Ryan keep her arms wrapped around him. She didn't know what else to do or say to make him understand it was him she wanted. She had enjoyed there time together, everything they did and the way he made her feel. He was soft, and not scared to be a little rough too. It was a nice balance one Ryan never though she'd like but she did.

   "Please don't look at me like the other girls who have hurt you, because I am not them. I am not going to tuck tail and run. I haven't yet and I am not going too. But I need you to make sure this is what you want too because Tal...you heart is not the only one on the line. Mine is too."

Searching Tal's eyes Ryan leans into him and press her lips against his. letting it linger for a few long moments her hand slips behind his head and her fingers run through his hair before she pulls away and leans her head against his own.

Don't Know

Tal continues to search Ryan's face as she speaks. All of a sudden, his stomach was in knots, and he didn't like it. Her words of love send a tingle down his spine though, and his grip on her hand tightens. "I love you too," he responds quietly. How many times had he thought of that? How many times had he ventured secret thoughts of a future with her? How often had he waited to hear her say she loved him? Yet in this moment, wrapped in these circumstances... it didn't quite feel like he'd imagined it would. 

Forcing a small smile, he turns and keeps Ryan at his side as he begins to walk slowly again. She loved him... yet admitted this was risky. And that was enough to send Tal's heart spiraling down into a pit of fear. It was one thing to take a risk when Alec was being a jerk and she hated him. It was another to take that same risk when she admittedly was having trouble letting Alec go. Tal had taken this risk before... more than he cared to remember. And every other time, he'd wound up falling flat on his face, left with trying to mend a broken heart. Up until tonight, he'd been confident that he and Ryan were different. But even though she was trying to assure him that she wanted him, this whole thing was like one big red flag to him. 

Stopping back where their shoes had been left, he eases down in the sand, pulling Ryan down with him to sit sideways in his lap. His leg wasn't too appreciative, but he ignored the discomfort for now. Wrapping his arms around Ryan, he nestles his head down into her shoulder and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. 

"How do I know that you won't still have feelings for Alec?" he asks softly. "How do I know that I'm not just setting myself up for heartache...again? To have you admit that this is risky... is like telling me you're not even sure this is what you want. I don't know if I can handle that." 

Kissing her cheek lightly, he gives her a squeeze. "You've been one of the best things that's ever happened to me. And I don't want to lose you. But if I gotta keep looking over my shoulder to make sure Alec isn't there...I don't know if I can do that."

Fear

Standing and walking with Tal Ryan can feel her heart beating so fast in her chest. She had a bad feeling and wondered if this would be her and Tal's last meeting she hopped not but it was a feeling non the less and as Tal stop and pulls her in front of him Ryan can feel the little hope she had become slowly less. 

   "From the moment you started dating me Tal you new it would be risky, thats not an excuse but its the truth. I'm sorry I hurt you Tal honest to everything I hold close to me I am sorry and maybe its a little more risky...and I can't tell you how to feel..."

Letting out a long shaky sigh Ryan wondered if maybe this is what she deserved. After all she shouldn't have started having feelings for Alec again, even if now she wanted to pick Tal. She was very sorry though and she didn't want to lose Tal.

   "If you need time to think Tal I will give you that but I don't want to lose you. I love you!"

It had been the first time she had ever said that to him, but she meant it with all her heart. And she wanted to make sure Tal new it as well. She didn't want to lose him, not how!

Riskier

Misty's comforting touch and soft words chip away at the walls Alec's heart was trying so hard to rebuild. Remaining quiet for several moments, he battles within himself - speak and risk an overflowing of emotions, or close up and let the hard shell return. 

Finally opening his eyes just a little, he shifts his gaze to the side at Misty. Still silent, he sits up just to shift his weight and lean his head on her shoulder. Closing his eyes again, he sighs deeply. "I was stupid... that's what happened." His voice was quiet... defeated. "Somehow, I guess I fooled myself into thinking I could get back what I most wanted." 

He pauses to swallow hard, fighting his rampant emotions. "I was surprised Ryan said she forgave me." He hadn't told Misty of all the encounters he'd had with Ryan lately. "I knew I didn't deserve it. I was even more surprised at her smile. That same smile I used to see. All of a sudden, there was this little bit of hope... that even if it didn't make sense, I might be able to get back at least part of what I'd ruined." 

Once more, he opens his eyes, just to stare into the dimly lit living room, leaving his head on Misty's shoulder. "Eli warned me to back off. He said I was upsetting Ryan. But... I didn't want to be bullied. I wanted to find out for myself what Ryan wanted. So... today, I... well, I went to see her at the shop." He stops again, trying to remember if there was something he'd missed... something he'd misread in Ryan. "She didn't seem to know about Eli and said she was fighting between loving me and hating me. I figured it was a lost cause, but I... I kissed her anyway. Didn't expect her to return it but... she did. Then she said she looked forward to seeing me again." 

Another sigh surfaces. "Figured that was a good sign. For the first time, I could almost see where just maybe I could get her back. I hadn't been home long, and she called me. Said she meant what she'd told me, but now she wanted me to back off... give her time with Tal before she could be friends with me. Said she couldn't yet let go of the things I'd done." 

Alec felt like a total idiot. Somewhere along the way, not only had he had a lapse in judgment, but he had to have totally misread something. His voice was still quiet as he finishes explaining. "I said okay and that was that. She wasn't mean or anything... I could tell she was upset, but... it was like all that stuff before just didn't mean a thing. Felt like it was all something my mind had made up so I could believe she still had feelings for me." He shrugs lamely. "I guess it just took the wind out of my sails... again. I'd been better off never speaking to her again."

As Ryan starts out with an apology, Tal tilts his head. The news of Alec having been seeing her brought on an expression of surprise. She'd... had encounters with Alec? And hadn't said anything? He tries to keep any reactions at bay, giving her a chance to continue. 

Hearing that Alec had kissed her though makes Tal's blood start to boil. Alec. The man who had almost killed him. The man who had torn Ryan's heart to bits. The man who was a liar and a cheater. He'd gone to Ryan and kissed her. And...she had obviously allowed it. 

Was the displeasure obvious on Tal's face? He didn't know. As Ryan takes his hand, his fingers automatically curl around hers, and he finds his gaze lowering to focus on their hands together. What was she really saying here? There wasn't much explanation really, and he could make up all sorts of assumptions if he wanted to, but she'd never actually said that she'd liked Alec's attention. As she finishes with asking him for forgiveness though, it was quite plain what had really been happening. She really had been battling feelings for Alec, hadn't she? 

Silence. 

Tal's eyes remain focused on their hands. And in that moment, he wasn't quite sure if he would ever understand how Ryan could have even had trouble with something like this. Sure, Alec was an ex-boyfriend. But what about all he'd done to her? What about all he'd done to him? Did it mean nothing that Alec had almost killed him? She could just... let him come around... let him kiss her... and think it was okay? Even though she'd assured Tal that she had asked Alec to back off, the whole thing just wasn't setting right with him. He wished he would have known about Alec seeing her a lot sooner, and he didn't understand why Ryan hadn't told him.

Keeping Ryan's hand in his, Tal stands, pulling her up with him. "Let's walk," he suggests quietly. He needed to move around so he could think. Locking his fingers with hers, he slowly heads closer to the water before turning and aiming down the starlit beach. "Thanks for telling me," he finally speaks again. "I'd been kinda worried that I'd done something wrong. I wasn't sure what was going on." 

What more could he say now? He was a little confused... a little hurt... a little frustrated... but he did still love Ryan for sure. She'd told him the truth... she'd said she was sorry... but was it all really that easy? 

"I'm not really sure what to say," he admits as they walk. "I guess part of me finds it hard to believe you'd let Alec that close to you at all, let alone let him... kiss you. Let alone... fight feelings for him." His hand swings Ryan's a little, not even realizing it was an obvious sign that he was feeling tense and somewhat awkward. "Someone like that..." He scoffs and shakes his head. "Well, maybe it's me that's having trouble with forgiveness. But I guess that's what happens when you get beaten within an inch of your life." Was that bitterness he heard in his own tone? Maybe. But how could Ryan have even had any trouble at all with this? Tal just didn't understand. 

Stopping, he brings Ryan around in front of him so he could see her face in the moonlight. Reaching up his free hand, he cradles her cheek with warm gentleness. "I love you, Ryan. I didn't plan on falling for you, but I did, and now every time I'm near to you, my heart just about leaps right out of my chest." 

His eyes search hers in the darkness, trying not to be upset, but trying to figure it all out. "But I guess it sorta hurts, knowing you had to fight off feelings for the guy that put me in the hospital. I know you loved him, and I get that... but I guess I don't really understand. I know I'm not perfect. I know I don't have anything extraordinary to offer a girl. And goodness knows I've had girlfriends who've dumped me for somebody better. But Alec?"

He sighs as his palm slips from her face, his other hand remaining locked with hers. "I know you said you told him you're with me now... but all of a sudden I feel like leaving my heart with you is a whole lot riskier than I thought, and... I'm not sure what to do with that."

Truth Is

Seeing the look on Alec's face Misty couldn't help but notice that there was something wrong. She'd gotten to be able to read him pretty good. It was just part of living with someone for a while. It alwasy made her worry to when she saw him sad. It could be for many reason but the most important was because she cared about what happened to Alec.

Coming around to the side of the couch Misty sits down on the edge before laying her hand on his arm again and give it a little rub. He's been doing so good the last few weeks and seemed like he was starting to listen up again, now it was like he's slipped back into the depression once more.

   "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Misty could guess that it had something to do with Ryan but she wasn't going to just butt into Alec's business if he didn't want her too. There was space, and bounds and she respected that. At least she would give Alec the option to talk if he wanted too.

Dinner had been nice and now sitting her with Tal at the lake in the sand was just as nice too. Staying quiet for a few long moments Ryan new what she wanted to talk to Tal about she just wasn't sure how or what he would think about it. Looking to Tal Ryan lets out a small sigh before looking out across the water again.

   "First I want to start by saying I am sorry if I have seemed a little distant. I've been...wrestling with myself.  The last few weeks Alec has been showing up at work, when I am at the store and other places. In doing so some feelings rose up inside of me, confused me, and blinded me."

Straightening her legs out Ryan leans back on her arms letting out a small sigh. She had to be honest with Tal and not lie. She didn't want to be like that and hide the truth from him. Honesty was important if they were going to make it through this and move forward.

   "Than today Alec came to work and told me he was sorry for upsetting me, and he would leave me alone. Before he left he...kissed me. I had no idea how I was feeling but I talked with another friend and when I was done it had all become clear to me."

Sitting up once more and turning a little to face Tal Ryan takes his hand in her own and holds it. Her eyes looking into his piercing through the dark and searching his own as her heart races. Never had she been so scared of losing someone in her life or being rejected. Tal was...different, she'd found something in him that she longed for. 

   "My path and choose Tal is you. I love you with all my heart, and I want to continue our journey together. I called Alec earlier today and I told him he needs to back off because My life is with you now. There is not a single thing about you I don't love, and you have done everything to keep me happy and safe. So if you can find it in your heart to forgive me for letting my feelings wonder...than I want to continue what we have built together."

Making his way across the yard and into the mess hall Chad new that was where Rosalyn would be seeing as he walked over with her the night before. A little lights were on in the barn showing some people were awake but not many. The lack of light in the dinning hall showed that no one had been there for coffee yet.

Slipping inside and looking in the kitchen seeing no one Chad quickly sets up the coffee pot and starts it for whoever might come in and for himself as well. Once done with that he wonders into the a joined room where Rosalyn was still sleeping. Just watching her for a long moment he can't help the smile that crossed his lips. She looked so peaceful.

Moving around the couch and sitting down on the edge Chad brushes a hair from Rosalyn's cheek and behind her ear. She looked as pretty sleeping as she did awake. Leaning down Chad places a soft kiss on her cheek before retreating just a little bit a smile spread on his lips.

   "Rise and shine my sleeping beauty!"

Upset? Hurt? Sick?

Alec didn't move when Misty touched his shoulder. He'd heard her come in, but simply hadn't responded. Her question though, pries open one of his eyes and he looks up at her, his gaze a dull one before he shakes his head slowly and closes his eye again. Bringing his knees in to curl up a little tighter, he wishes the world would just go away. Sleeping had only made him feel worse. 

"I'm not very hungry," he finally answers quietly. "Maybe later..." 

Tal's fingers curl around Ryan's and he quirks an eyebrow, but nods. "Okay... something quick and easy then." He'd expected her to say she wanted to go have a nice sit-down meal, but he wouldn't knock the opportunity to go to the lake sooner. Even though winters weren't all that cold here, the evenings were getting chillier and after dark it was downright cold. Today was a warm one though, and he was more than happy to take advantage of it with Ryan. 

It really didn't take all that long to grab a bite to eat and then head to the lake. Tal had filled silent moments with talk of work or Eli or the dogs, all the while wondering when on earth Ryan was going to tell him whatever it was she'd mentioned on the phone. She seemed okay... she didn't act like something bad was coming... even so, in the back of Tal's mind, he remained leery... 

...Sitting in the sand next to Ryan, Tal looks out over the lake. His knees were up and his bare toes buried in the sand with his shoes and socks nearby. A warm breeze blew and the water lapped softly in front of them. It was such a peaceful evening, and hardly anybody else was here, making it even more perfect. 

Leaning his elbows on his knees, Tal glances to the side, studying Ryan. He was tempted to ask her if everything had been okay lately - as he had with Eli - but something told him that whatever he'd sensed lately might have something to do with her wanting to talk to him. If she didn't bring it up soon, he would.

Few days

Giving a  smile Ryan stands hearing Tal's car outside. Walking past Eli she lays a hand on his shoulder giving him a small pat. She new he was happy she'd picked Tal even if he didn't say anything it was just one of those things she could see in his eyes.

   "Don't want up to long Big Brother, you have to be rested for that woman of yours coming home tomorrow."

Heading out of the house and to the car Ryan smile at Tal as he opens the door and gets in. He always looked good to her no matter how much he dressed up, or how much he dressed down and he always smelled good too.

Reaching over and taking his hand in her own Ryan looks to him giving another smile before answering his question. The little pitter patter in her heart when she looked at him reminded her why she loved him so much. Because with a simple touch she could feel herself melt.

   "I was thinking maybe we could grab something simple and just head to the beach to hang out for a little bit. Only a few nice days left and we might as well enjoy them while we can."

Coming home Misty found the house to be a little oddly quiet. The lights were on so Alec was here but not to hear him moving around at least. Looking in the kitchen and seeing nothing Misty goes to the living room. Making out his form on the couch and just looks down at him for a second before laying a hand on his shoulder.

   "Alec...are you awake? I brought home some dinner if your hungry!"

She didn't know if he was sleeping or not but his face looked really red. Was he upset? Did something happen to him? Misty couldn't help but be a little worried.

Pointless

Hearing Ryan's decision, Eli lifts his eyebrows slightly. He was glad though. As far as he was concerned, Ryan had already been way too nice to Alec in the first place. He did wonder why she felt like she'd needed to talk to him though. Had something else happened, even after he'd warned Alec? He wouldn't ask. As long as he wasn't bothering her anymore and she was happy, Eli would keep his nose out of it.

Smiling, he nods. "Good. It's-" He stops his sentence short as he hears a honking horn outside. "I think that's your ride. His leg was pretty sore today so I imagine he doesn't want to come in." Giving his sister a wink, he waves. "Have fun."

Waiting outside in the car, Tal couldn't help it that he felt just a little nervous. Even though Eli had shrugged it off earlier, Tal dreaded a "talk." With the way Ryan had been lately, he couldn't help but wonder in the back of his mind if this was the beginning of the end. He'd been dumped enough times now that he knew the signs. But if that was the case with Ryan, what had he done wrong?

Seeing Ryan emerge from the apartment, he smiles, getting out of his car to open the passenger door for her. "Hey there." She looked extra nice tonight and his eyes didn't miss it. She was always beautiful to him, but tonight especially, she seemed to have put a little extra work into it. That was a good sign, right?

Getting back in behind the wheel, he gives her a sidelong glance before pulling out of the lot. "You certainly look great tonight," he compliments. He was in casual nice clothes, but nothing special. "Definitely outshine me." He gives her a teasing grin. "So where are we going anyway? You sounded like you had something particular in mind when you called earlier." What he really wanted to ask right now was what on earth she wanted to talk about, but he'd be still and let her do things the way she wanted.


Curled up on the couch, Alec drifts in an out of a weird kind of nap. He'd worked a little bit outside this afternoon, but his mind had not been with it. He'd finally given up and come inside, turning on the television. Boring shows had made him sleepy until he'd dozed on and off. But what was worse was the pain he felt inside all over again. It was pointless. Everything. No matter how hard he tried, he would gain back nothing. He would have been better off just slumming until he'd either been killed or drank himself to death. Either way, it would have been a quicker end than this. 

Closing his eyes, his ears pay little attention to the droning television. Misty would be home any minute and he was not going to be good company for supper. Maybe Jason would come too though and Alec could avoid much interaction. Maybe he should just go out for the evening all together. Not that he had any money to go anywhere. He needed a job before he could have any money, and that route was just as dismal as anything else. 

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he presses his head further into the pillow, wishing he could just wake up and find it was all a bad dream. A tear escapes and he ignores it. Maybe Misty wouldn't notice how upset he was and he could pretend he was fine and not have to tell her what had happened. Fat chance, but it was a thought. Maybe he'd just sleep and nobody would bother him at all. Or maybe he'd just never wake up. At this point...he wouldn't mind.

Desition

Hearing the tone in Alec's voice Ryan could feel the emotion and it made her own term oil rage on. Had she been leading him on earlier today? She didn't think so because what she said was true, but she had to push it aside. It was not fair to either of the men, and it was not fair to herself either. 

Taking a deep breath and flicking the tears from her cheeks Ryan lets out a long breath before turning around and heading back inside. This time she wouldn't really talk to but just go back to her car and work on it. She needed to finish in time to go home, get cleaned up and than head out with Tal.

...The rest of the day seemed to go slow but Ryan did her best to get through it keeping her emotions in check. Finally finished and heading home Ryan moves through the house taking a shower, getting dressed into something comfortable and doing her hair. She looked just a little bit more dressed up than normal but today she didn't mind it to much.

Coming into the living room and sitting down on the couch she wasn't sure when Tal would be showing up but she would wait forever for him to come in she had too. She new he would sooner or later. 

Looking over at Eli Ryan gives a smile wondering if Tal had let him know they were going out or not. She guessed he would have but she really didn't know one hundred percent. Shifting a little she figured she might as well tell him too.

   "Tal tell you we were going out? I...today I deiced I am going to pick Tal. I had a little sense talked into me and I asked Alec to back up because I really want to see where this thing with me and Tal goes."

Too Much

Pocketing his phone again, Tal's smile fades just a little. Closing his locker, he puts his baseball cap on and slings his jacket over his shoulder, limping on this way out of the shop. 

"Hey - you still coming over tonight?" 

Tal stops and turns to look at Eli, who still had to work a couple hours yet. "Hmm? Oh. Sorry, no. Ryan just called - we're gonna go out."

"Well you don't look very happy about it." 

Tal shrugs. "She wants to talk about something. I guess with the way she's been lately..."

Eli quirks an eyebrow. "Don't worry 'til you have to. Quit moping and go have a good time. I'll have me a nice steak...with the dog."

Tal manages a smile and he shakes his head. "I think I'm gonna be more glad when Scarlet gets home tomorrow than you, so I don't have to listen to you whining anymore." Heading on out to his car, he figured he could run a couple errands, go home and get cleaned up and still have time to meet Ryan at the restaurant for dinner.

Answering his phone, Alec was rather surprised to hear Ryan's voice. They'd parted on good terms today and she wanted to see him again, but he hadn't expected a call. Smiling, he leans back against the kitchen counter after having just put a few things away for Misty. "Hey..." 

The good feelings he'd had though, start to fade quickly with the word, "but." And as his heart starts to sink, his smile dissolves. What was she saying? He could hear the emotion in her voice and detected tears. But why was she saying she loved him and telling him to leave her be at the same time? He didn't understand. If she couldn't let go of what he'd done, why had she said she forgave him? Why had she smiled at him the way she had? Why had she said she still loved him? 

Confusion riddles Alec's mind and heart, and quite suddenly he realizes that Ryan had stopped speaking. "Okay." His voice was quiet...defeated. He did love Ryan. And if this was what she wanted... he didn't have much of a choice. Eli was on the warpath... Ryan herself didn't want to see him... there wasn't much left. And all hope that had risen earlier was all at once gone, leaving a dark, empty hole once more. 

Swallowing hard, he stares at the kitchen floor. He'd been foolish. To think he even had any kind of chance at all with Ryan had been so stupid. She said she wanted to be friends... but he had his doubts it was true. And even if it was, she didn't want it now anyway. 

Feeling the tears sting his eyes, he clears his throat. "I'm sorry... I asked too much of you. I won't bother you anymore." There was more he wanted to say. More about his feelings. More about his love. But this time... he knew it was pointless. "Take care of yourself, Ryan." 

Taking the phone from his ear, he flips it shut, not wanting to prolong the conversation. He'd pushed, and this was the result. It was his own fault. But it still hurt. 

Talk

Looking down again and running a hand over the side of the car Ryan just continues to think about Leo's words. He was right, she did need to make a desition and she needed to do it soon. In this whole thing someone was going to get hurt and she new that, it was best to do it now before it got harder, and before she went mad herself.

   "Thanks Leo, for always being my friend through everything. I really do appreciate it and you."

Pushing off the car and taking her cell phone from her pocket Ryan plays with it for a few moments. Walking out of the shop and around the corner she calls Tal's phone. They were more than likely going to hang out tonight like always at her place but she wanted to talk to him alone tonight. 

   "Hey Babe, sorry to bother you at work but...I was wondering if you'd like to do dinner and a walk on the beach tonight. I...have something I need to talk to you about."

Happy that Tal had agreed to go out tonight with her Ryan really hadn't expected anything else. She loved spending time with her, and being there where they were no matter what. That was one thing she liked about Tal.

Closing her eyes for a second Ryan collects her thoughts before opening them again and dialing Alec's number this time. Waiting Ryan wasn't sure if he'd even answer or not. He might not even be home. Continuing to wait Ryan lets out a small sigh...on one hand she wanted him to answer, and on the other she didnt but she had to talk to him.

   "Hey Alec it's Ryan. Listen...I wanted to tell you what I said before when you here is the truth. I do still love you...but...I can't let go of what you did to me. Not yet, not this soon."

Sucking in a deep breath Ryan could feel a hot tear trickle down her cheek. It hurt, it hurt very much to say what she was saying but Leo had stuck something inside of her and to give up Tal right now...it would be something that very possibly she might regret later down the road. It was something...she wasn't ready to chance. She loved Alec, but Tal...there was something about him that went her mind was not clouded over powered that feeling.

   "I want to be friends Alec. I'd like us to build a friendship again, but right now...please...if you do still love me will you take a few steps back and let me work through this with Tal? I need to find out if this is my path now, and than our friendship can come after."

Okay?

Leaving his work be for now, Leo leans on the car as he continues to study Ryan. She really did seem upset about this whole thing - not to the point of it being obvious to everybody, but it showed in her eyes... in her tone. Leo hadn't dated her for all that long, but it had been enough for him to get to know her pretty well. And right now, he could see the inner battle she was facing. 

"Well... from past experience... if somebody's gonna get hurt... better to do it sooner than later when you're in even deeper." He purses his lips grimly. He knew she didn't want to hurt Tal. Whether anybody else saw it or not, Leo knew she had a soft spot in her heart underneath her toughness - it pained her to hurt anybody else, especially when she cared for them. 

"I gotta admit, I'm a little surprised you're stuck where you are. What I've heard about Alec isn't all that great." He shrugs. It was her life, but he had his own opinions. "But if you really are having a hard time saying no to him... maybe that's where your heart has been all along. Seems to me, you and he have something that goes deeper than a casual relationship if you can actually overlook the things he's done, and if he's still pursuing you. On the other hand, I thought you seemed pretty happy with Tal." 

Letting his gaze fall back to the car engine, he reaches for a wrench. It wasn't his call - it was hers, and he didn't have a right to go choosing sides. He did hope she made the right decision though. Tal was an honest, kind, godly man. Alec was... not. At least from what Leo knew. But Ryan wasn't stupid - she wouldn't go kissing a guy who was a dirtbag, and again... it was her own business.

"Just make sure when you decide, that later down the road you won't look back and regret which route you took. 'Cause then you got nothing." 

"Is Ryan okay?" 

Eli turns his attention from removing tape from the car that had been painted. Tal's question had caught him off guard, and he wasn't sure what was meant by it. "What do you mean?"

"I dunno." Tal shrugs lamely as he helps remove the tape. His eyes remain on his work and don't travel to Eli. "Just wondered if everything was okay lately, I guess."

"Why?"

It takes a moment for Tal to figure out his response. "She's just seemed a little... well, 'distant' doesn't feel like the right word, but something like that. I don't know. Just something feels... off."

Eli quirks an eyebrow. He knew that Ryan had not spoken about Alec to Tal, but was it that turmoil Tal had been sensing? "Eh... ya can't always read women. They like to keep us guessing."

Tal throws him a wry grin, but his eyes remain clouded. It wasn't that he was really worried, or all that concerned. There was just something different about Ryan lately that he couldn't put his finger on. She didn't seem upset... and she was still smiling and still seemed satisfied with their relationship - he was trying his hardest to please her. And yet... it was almost like storm clouds in the distance, despite a forecast of sunny skies. "Okay, well, just thought I'd ask. Guess it's nothing."

As Tal continues to work, Eli pauses, watching him for a moment. It wasn't nothing, and that was the problem. But maybe after his little conversation with Alec yesterday, Ryan wouldn't be stuck in the middle anymore.

Stopped from stepping away, then being pulled back in for another, deeper kiss, Rosalyn doesn't hesitate to return it. She loved how it felt to be in Chad's arms... she loved his warmth... she loved the way his kisses felt. She didn't know if it would feel the same with another man or not, but she didn't care to find out. 

As Chad draws back, she smiles up at him, enjoying the touch of his hand. "Mmm... you better let me go or else I might just drag you to the couch with me and use you as a pillow." Running her palms down his arms to meet with his own hands, she gives them a squeeze. "Come early and you'll have me to yourself for a little while before it fills up in here." 

Finally letting go, she turns and heads for the little living room off the dining room, before she really did drag Chad along with her... 

The couch was a comfortable one, but it still wasn't Rosalyn's bed, so sleep didn't come all that easily, even if she was exhausted. Eventually getting to sleep at a late hour though, her body did not want to rise when she'd planned. Sleeping through her cell phone's alarm, she missed rising and getting started with her day early like she'd wanted. Instead, she still lay sound asleep on the couch under a blanket, still in her clothes from the day before. 

Hurting!

Pulling away from Con a little bit Katie smiles up at him a little. She new this would not be the last time she saw him, and she new that Con was not going away anywhere but still knowing he wouldn't be here hurt. But he had to do what was best for him and she did know that.

   "Oh Con, I know I will still see you but...just take care of yourself too."

Reaching in Katie gives Con another hug that last several moments. He was her big brother, the big brother she'd always wanted. He meant the world to her and she would indeed miss him no matter what.

Looking at Leo and hearing his question Ryan looks down at the car he was working on. Silent for several long moments Ryan just thinks. She should of guessed if someone thought something was wrong it would of been Leo, he was her best friend after all.

   "I don't know if I am or not Leo. It seems no matter why I try I keep hurting people. I told you once before when I went back to Alec that I thought I had made the wrong choose. What if I am going to do that again? My heart tells me one thing, and than my mind and logic tells me something completely different."

Letting out a sigh and looking up at Leo Ryan's eyes roam his. She was confused still, and stuck between loving two people. It was a hard desition to make but she new sooner or later she would have too no matter how much it hurt. It was only right and Ryan new that.

Brushing a strand of hair behind Rosalyn's ear Chad smiles at her once more. She really did make him happy, and he liked having her around. Coming to the ranch to see her again no matter what happened had been his best desition he had made.

   "Good Night my sweet princess."

As Rosalyn comes close to him Chad puts an arm over her shoulder leaning in to her a little bit. As she backs away from the kiss Chad holds her firm with his arm just leaning into her again. Pressing his lips to hers once more he lets a few more of his own emotions forward before breaking away. Running a finger over her jaw bone and down her neck a little it.

You?

Surprised yet again by Katie, Con doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her in a big hug. Cocking his head to hear her, he sighs, giving her an extra squeeze. "You don't need me around for that... You do a pretty good job of looking out for yourself, you know." In truth, he was going to miss her terribly. Ever since Texas, she'd had a special little place in his heart, and that wasn't going to change.

Pulling away, he sees the tears in her eyes and it gets him all the way to his heart. Wiping her cheek gently with his thumb, he tries to give her a smile. "Hey... there's no need for any of that... It's not like I'm moving to Alaska. I'll still see you around."

Patting her shoulder, he nods. "Take care of yourself."

"Right..." Leo smirks as he lifts the rag to look at his knuckles before sucking on them to clean off some of the blood. "Yeah, I'm okay." He rolls his eyes and tosses the rag aside before wiping his hand on his jeans to just leave the scrape be. He'd had worse. 

Leaning on the car and looking down in the engine again, his eyes roam back to Ryan, catching her gaze. He'd answered her question, but... now he had one of his own. "Are you?"

Rosalyn knew she didn't need Chad's protection or his company - she knew this ranch like the back of her hand, and it would be very hard for anything here to be unsafe even at this late hour. But she would not deny him this. After all...she did want as much of his company as she could get right now.

Slipping her hand into his, she nods. "Okay."

It was a short walk to the dining hall, and Rosalyn enters, squinting in the dark. Everybody else had long since cleared out. The couch would be just fine for the night, and that way, she could at least avoid any chance of meeting up with her father tonight or even when she got up in the morning. 

Turning, she looks up at Chad in the dimness. "I guess this is where we part." Studying his face, she suddenly feels just a tinge of awkwardness return. She knew she was blushing again, and was just as glad that the lights weren't on. 

On impulse, she lifts herself on her tiptoes to give his lips a light, quick kiss. "Goodnight..."

Hurt Him

Letting out a sigh Katie really did feel bad for Con and she felt bad for snapping at him. It always had been hard for her to lose people and still now even with her emotion being different she hated it and it hurt on a whole new level.

   "Oh Con...I hate to see you go."

Coming around the cubicle wall Katie looks up at him and wraps her arms around his wast. Buring her head into his chest Katie could feel a few tears escape her eyes. She was more than likely getting Con's shirt wet and she new it but she couldn't help it either. He'd always been her big brother and looked out for her.

   "I'm going to miss you. Who is going to look for me here now? It's always been you Con."

Coming back inside after watching Alec drive away into the sunset, or what it seemed like anyways Ryan was just in time to see Leo get his knuckles. Cringing a little bit Ryan shakes her head before going over to him and leaning on the car he was working on.

   "Hurting yourself is not going to get this car done any faster you know. You ok?"

Ryan gives a smile to Leo before searching his face. There was something on it that she wasn't sure of but it looked like questions, misunderstand or reason. Maybe he's seen her leave for a few seconded with Alec and he wanted to know what was going on? She wasn't sure but for some reason it made her feel a little guilty. And another pang was added to her heart as she remembered a time when Leo and herself had been more than friends. No matter what she always seemed to come back to Alec and now...what about Tal. She really did care about him, and she loved him...now she would she hurt him too?

 Giving a smile to Rosalyn Chad moves himself off the bed before holding his hand out to Rosalyn to help her up as well. She might only be walking to the dinning hall but he felt the need to make sure she got there safly even if it was just across the yard.

   "Come on Hun, I'll walk you there. It would make me feel better knowing that you were safe."

Monster

Hearing his name, Alec stops and spins around to look back at Ryan. He knew he shouldn't have kissed her. He knew it had been foolish, he...

Her words catch him off guard, and for a moment, he doesn't even know how to respond. She...did want to see him again? She was actually looking forward to it? But... then what was Eli's threat all about? Why had he pounced, if Ryan wasn't bothered? Alec didn't have an answer. But what he did know was that his heart had just gained back a new sliver of hope.

A genuine smile creases his lips and he returns Ryan's wave. "Me too." Forcing himself to turn back around again, he returns to his bike to mount up and start the engine. As he pulls from the lot, he takes one last look before speeding up down the street.


Back inside the shop, Leo's eyes watch for Ryan to return, while he tries to concentrate on the engine he'd been working on. Inside, there was a strange churning though. Was he the only one that had seen Alec and Ryan kiss? He wasn't sure. But what he did remember was when Ryan had broken up with him because of Alec. And right about now, he wondered if the same thing was going to happen to Tal. What was it about Alec that made him so irresistible? Leo didn't know. But maybe only a woman would know. It didn't make sense though, that Ryan would get close to a man like that again - a man who had done such terrible things. Was she really that in love with him? Was it really that her heart had always belonged to him? It seemed the only explanation. Leo only hoped that no one would get hurt through this. He didn't know Tal well, but he'd been there before and knew it could really hurt. And Ryan was one of his closest friends, and he certainly didn't want to see her hurt by Alec again.

"Ack!" Leo cries out in pain as he scrapes his knuckles on part of the engine as he retrieved his hand. With his mind so far away, he'd been paying very little attention to what he was doing. Muttering under his breath, he grabs a relatively clean rag to press against his couple bleeding knuckles. 


Con recoils slightly, surprised by Katie's bluntness. He couldn't remember a time she'd talked to him like this and... it did sting. Looking down, he thinks for several moments before responding quietly. "Thanks for wanting me around, Kat. I appreciate that. But whether or not this is a first mess-up, it almost got Dalton killed. I can't live like that, never knowing if I'm gonna do that again. I can't go out on cases anymore - I can't trust myself. The only job left is here and... I thought I could do it. But I've gone stir crazy and Reese finally let me back out in the field, despite my hearing loss. And now look what happened." 

He shakes his head slowly, his eyes remaining dim. "I also shot a guy in the back and if I hadn't resigned, I might have lost my job anyway. That has yet to be decided by the board. But not only did I not hear what I was supposed to, I got angry and I acted on that anger. It's been a long time since that monster came out and I gotta stop it before I do something stupid." 

Change

   "Conrad Gibbs that is not true and you darn well know it. This is the FIRST time you have messed up and your taking all the blame for it when you know darn well its not. So knock off the poor me crap and get your head out of your butt. If Reese had thought this was your fault than he would of let you go himself."

Letting out a huff and looking  away for a second she could feel some hot tears form in her eyes. Even if Con and herself didn't talk as much as they use to just looking over her cubicle and seeing him sitting a little ways away was enough for her. To think of him leaving...it really did hurt specialy when he didn't have too.

   "If your going to leave Con I can respect that, and I will wish you the best but don't use a reason that is not true. The Elite is not better off without you and neither am I or your friends."

Feeling Alec's hand on the side of her face once again Ryan can see something different in him. Maybe it was the light touch, or the look in his eyes that was softer than what she had seen before. Whatever it was Ryan couldn't help the chill that went down her spin. 

As Alec closes the gap and presses his lips to her Ryan was a bit shocked but couldn't help but return the kiss. It wasn't long, but it had been along enough to shoot electric through her like it had in the past. In that one moment she remembered why she had fallen in love with Alec in the first place, and still there was so much more of him to explore.

Watching Alec as he starts to walk away Ryan's eyes follow him. What was she to do now? Was it this easy really, and this hard at the same time. She new what was true, what she didn't want to be, and what Eli didn't want to be either.

   "Alec...."

Ryan takes a few steps forward before stopping and just looking at Alec for a long moment. A smile spreading across her face. Giving a little half wave she didn't know where this or anything was heading other than forward.

   "...You've changed. Keep it up, and I look forward to seeing you again soon."

Oops?

Con's shoulders drop even more at Katie's reaction. He hated seeing her upset. Even worse, he felt stuck with no way to fix things this time. 

"I do have to," he replies calmly. "I can't stay here and keep messing up. I tried it. I can't go in the field anymore - I can't hear well enough, obviously. And I can't just sit behind a desk the whole time. I thought I could... I was wrong." 

He tries to give Katie a reassuring smile. "I've done my time... the Elite is better off without me in the way." 

Wait so... Eli was wrong? Or he was right, but it didn't matter? Alec wasn't sure now what to think. Ryan really had been upset, but she didn't want him never to speak to her again? So why had Eli jumped down his throat? Was Alec's assumption wrong that Ryan knew about it? Did she not know her brother had threatened him? 

With so many questions, Alec desperately searches Ryan's eyes for answers. But all it did was lead to more questions. Why was there so much conflict there? Why couldn't he figure out what was going through her mind? He'd been so good at reading her before, but now, it was as if her gaze was speaking a different language. 

As she speaks again though, Alec's thoughts are shattered. His eyes widen slightly. She...still loved him? Like he still loved her? Hope soared, just to come crashing down again, all within a split second. She loved him but... hated him for it. Such sweet words had ended with such a painful sting.

Alec's eyes fall to the ground once more. He didn't know what to say now. He wanted to hope so much that Ryan would somehow be able to set aside the hate so she could love and only love him again. He wanted that so badly that it hurt. Yet he could see that she didn't want to love him. She didn't want to go back. She didn't want him back. She would deny herself the love because of what he'd done. Because of how he'd hurt her. And again, Alec's regret comes in like a tidal wave.

It felt like he'd stared at the ground for an eternity, but really it had only been a couple moments. Lifting his gaze again, this time, his eyes held a glistening stare. It was sheer pain that his gaze bore. "I'm so sorry," he whispers. He'd said it over and over and still, it didn't seem enough. 

Reaching out a hand, he softly cradles the side of Ryan's face, letting his thumb caress her cheek. "If I could take away your love so you would have no more pain, I would. Even if I knew that would mean forever living without you, I'd do it, if it would also remove your hate." 

Too emotionally charged to use wisdom, Alec closes the gap between them as his other hand rises to cradle Ryan's face. Not allowing time for her to pull away, his lips come to hers in a kiss full of passion yet given with tender care. 

And just as quickly, he had released her, turned, and started back towards his motorcycle. 

The Truth Is

Letting out a small sigh Jamie's eyes held much sorrow. She felt so very bad for Con and she new that once his own mind was made up there would be no turning back. He's always been like that since she could remember, and about as long she remembered Con working for TJY. To think of him not being here anymore..it made her sad and wish for the simpler days.

Busy at work Katie looks up at Con's voice and offers him a smile. Seeing the dark look in his eyes though Katie's smile fades just a little bit. She new what had happened on there mission but she always new it was many different people fault and not just Cons. She had thought for sure he'd just bounce back but now..she wasn't so sure.

   "What your...leave?"

Putting her paper down and standing Katie moves a little closer to Con. They had said goodbye once before and Katie remembered how much it had messed with her emotions. Now she could feel that hurt and that pain all over again but having a little bit more controle over her emotions and how she reacted felt it was different.

   "Con, you can't leave...not over this. We all need you here still, I need you here still. You don't HAVE to go!!!"

Searching Alec's face Ryan listened to his words and she was a bit surprised by what he had to say. He was giving her an out, telling her he was sorry and letting her know that no matter what he felt he would leave her alone if she asked. This was definitely a different Alec than the one she had known before. He was looking out for her this time and not himself...he cared.

   "Alec, If I wanted you to stay away don't you think I would have told you that already? There has been a change in you, and its been causing my emotions to go crazy."

Cocking her head to the side for a second and still studding Alec Ryan can't help but look into his eyes. If she left the truth would...would it make a difference...if she admitted to her feelings would she be able to move on. Or would it make things worse? That was a question there was no answer too.

   "The truth is Alec...I still love you and I hate you for that fact alone. But its the truth and I don't know how to stop it."

I'm Sorry

Con shakes his head, refusing to look Jamie in the eye. "I don't care if it was all my fault, half my fault or just ten percent my fault... If I'd been capable of doing my part, Dalton would not have almost been killed. It's time I faced facts and gave up pretending that I can do this job."

Picking up his badge, he runs his thumb over it for a moment before eventually glancing at Jamie again. Leaning down, he gives her a light kiss. "I'll let you know when I leave." 

It would be at least fifteen minutes later and after an argument with Reese that Con finally emerges from the office again. Heading back to his cubicle, he pauses, his eyes landing on Katie's cubicle. He'd told her goodbye once before and it had not gone over well. But things were different this time - she wouldn't mind nearly as much, and they'd still see each other... sometime. 

Though he wanted to just slip out of the building unnoticed, he forces himself to turn around and go to Katie's desk. She was like his little sister after all, and he owed this to her. Leaning over the wall, he gives it a tap, offering her a weary smile. "Hey, Kat. I just, um... wanted to let you know I've resigned, and... I'm leaving today." 


Relieved Ryan would take a moment to talk to him, Alec follows her out to the parking lot away from the others. She... didn't seem too apprehensive. But surely she knew Eli had come to see him - and her brother wouldn't have been that angry for no reason.  

Glancing at the ground, Alec really wasn't sure how to begin. "I, um... well, I just got to thinking, and..." He swallows hard and looks back up to find Ryan's eyes. "I... miss you so much that it hurts. Some days I'm just no good at all 'cause all I can think about is you."

He pauses for a moment, just trying to read her gaze, but she wasn't making it easy. There were so many different levels... all so deep and cryptic... it was difficult to know what she was thinking or feeling. "But even though all that's true, the last thing I wanted to do was upset you. I never meant for that to happen, so... so if you really never want to see me again... I understand."

There. He'd said it. But even so, his heart beat wildly as he hoped beyond hope that she wouldn't say that's what she wanted. "If you'd rather I don't talk to you or approach you when I see you around then... then I'll respect that. Won't be easy." He gives a sorry kind of laugh. "But... I'd rather have a tough time dealing with that than see you sad 'cause of something I did. I know my desire to be friends is too much to ask of anybody after all I did anyway. I just... I'm sorry that I upset you, and I just want to know what you want me to do so it won't happen again." 


"Hmm?" Rosalyn opens her eyes and blinks before sitting up and shaking her head sleepily. "No... I'll probably just sack out on the couch off the dining hall anyway." 

Sighing, she glances at Chad, wishing she could just curl up next to him. She had no intention of anything else and she knew he didn't either. But it wouldn't be right... and he was correct - it wouldn't  help anything with her father if he found out. 

Sliding off the bed, she picks up the picture he let her keep, making sure she didn't forget it. "Thanks for coming, Chad... I really enjoyed this evening. I'm glad you came." 

Maybe

   "Con, you don't have to do this? It wasn't just your fault what happened!"

Jamie's heart went out to her husband. She could see the look in his eyes and it just broke her heart. She new him and how his brain worked and he was always one to take everything else on himself. It wasn't just him though and Jamie wished he would see that.

   "Maybe you should just talk with Reese about it first?"

Looking up at Dani and leaning his head into her hand a little bit Dalton new she had to get going. As much as he wanted her to stay the Dr's would never go for it since they weren't married. If he had more energy he would argue.

   "Don't go to far...when I wake up again, I want to see you. I love you Dani."

Slowly letting his eyes fall shut Dalton new that sleep would come quick. That was part of his body recovering and part pain killers. He only hoped when he woke again Dani would be there once more for him to smile and remember one of the many reasons he was fighting through this all.

Looking up hearing someone coming next to her Ryan was a little surprised to see Alec. His bike couldn't be broken again already, they wernt shopping was he finally just here to see her? Studying him for a long moment Ryan wondered what he wanted to talk to her about. It wouldn't hurt for a moment to see right?

   "Yeah yeah, I can chat for a few minutes, I haven't taken my break yet."

Taking her rag and whiping her hands off Ryan sets her tools down before motioning outside for Alec to follow her. It would be quiet out there and they could talk alone with out worry of anyone hearing them.

   "Whats up?"

As Rosalyn makes herself comfortable on his chest Chad can't help but smile. Bringing a hand to her face and tucking a strand of hair behind her hair. Just feeling her soft breathing Chad moves the pictures aside a little bit. He didn't have the heart to wake her right now, she seemed to peacful.

Just letting the minutes pass Chad keeps himself awake but lets Rosalyn sleep. Finally though his own eyes were having problems staying awake and he new he needed to have her go before he did fall asleep.

   "Rosalyn Hun...It's time to have you head back to your place. If we both fall asleep here I don't think it will help our case with your dad. Would you like me to walk you home?"