Better Off

Confusion continues to bind Tal's heart and mind as he listens to Ryan. He believed her when she said she loved him. He believed this was what she wanted. But what he didn't know was whether or not she still loved Alec too, and if that would come back to haunt him all over again. 

Drawn into a kiss, he's reminded of Ryan's sweet affection. Her fingers running through his hair send little tingles down his spine, and she pulls away too soon in his opinion. With his forehead resting against her, he studies the depth of her eyes. Would he ever be able to understand all he saw in her gaze? Quiet for several moments, his hand rises to caress her face. Words couldn't really express what he was feeling right now anyway. Initiating another kiss, he pulls her back close, wrapping his arms more tightly around her while one of his hands rubs her shoulder lovingly. Deepening the kiss, he allows his passion to show, just letting the minutes tick by. 

Eventually though, he winds down the exchange with several softer kisses before finally pulling away again. Closing his eyes, he takes a moment to catch his breath, just wishing this was all there was... that nothing had interrupted their feelings... that nothing had disturbed what they shared. But... it had. 

"I want you with all my heart," he whispers. "But that's why this hurts. I just don't understand. I wish I did, but I don't." 

Opening his eyes again, there is torture in his gaze. A battle. Fear versus love. "You're everything to me and I don't want to let you go. I've just never fought something like this before and I'm not sure how."

Misty's comforting touch and soft words chip away at the walls Alec's heart was trying so hard to rebuild. Remaining quiet for several moments, he battles within himself - speak and risk an overflowing of emotions, or close up and let the hard shell return. 

Finally opening his eyes just a little, he shifts his gaze to the side at Misty. Still silent, he sits up just to shift his weight and lean his head on her shoulder. Closing his eyes again, he sighs deeply. "I was stupid... that's what happened." His voice was quiet... defeated. "Somehow, I guess I fooled myself into thinking I could get back what I most wanted." 

He pauses to swallow hard, fighting his rampant emotions. "I was surprised Ryan said she forgave me." He hadn't told Misty of all the encounters he'd had with Ryan lately. "I knew I didn't deserve it. I was even more surprised at her smile. That same smile I used to see. All of a sudden, there was this little bit of hope... that even if it didn't make sense, I might be able to get back at least part of what I'd ruined." 

Once more, he opens his eyes, just to stare into the dimly lit living room, leaving his head on Misty's shoulder. "Eli warned me to back off. He said I was upsetting Ryan. But... I didn't want to be bullied. I wanted to find out for myself what Ryan wanted. So... today, I... well, I went to see her at the shop." He stops again, trying to remember if there was something he'd missed... something he'd misread in Ryan. "She didn't seem to know about Eli and said she was fighting between loving me and hating me. I figured it was a lost cause, but I... I kissed her anyway. Didn't expect her to return it but... she did. Then she said she looked forward to seeing me again." 

Another sigh surfaces. "Figured that was a good sign. For the first time, I could almost see where just maybe I could get her back. I hadn't been home long, and she called me. Said she meant what she'd told me, but now she wanted me to back off... give her time with Tal before she could be friends with me. Said she couldn't yet let go of the things I'd done." 

Alec felt like a total idiot. Somewhere along the way, not only had he had a lapse in judgment, but he had to have totally misread something. His voice was still quiet as he finishes explaining. "I said okay and that was that. She wasn't mean or anything... I could tell she was upset, but... it was like all that stuff before just didn't mean a thing. Felt like it was all something my mind had made up so I could believe she still had feelings for me." He shrugs lamely. "I guess it just took the wind out of my sails... again. I'd been better off never speaking to her again."

Feeling Chad's tender kiss and his voice, Rosalyn stirs from her sleep. Stretching, she yawns and opens her eyes sleepily, trying to bring Chad's face into focus. Sighing, she gives him a groggy smile. It was nice to see him here. Have him wake her up. He was so sweet. He was...

All at once, Rosalyn realizes where she is. Sitting bolt upright, she looks to the clock on the wall and groans. "I should have been up an hour ago. Jade's gonna kill me." Standing up, she tosses the blanket aside and runs her fingers through her unruly hair, feeling quite a mess without having had her shower yet. 

"I was supposed to start the cinnamon rolls, rearrange the tables, get the orange juice out of... wait, I smell coffee already." Furrowing her brow, she stops and looks at Chad, realizing she'd just been rambling. Biting her lip, she gives him a sheepish grin. "Good morning... Thanks for waking me up." What she really wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and invite a passionate kiss, but she knew she looked a sight, she hadn't brushed her teeth yet and... she'd rather let him take the lead as far as affection went, just to be on the safe side.