It was

Looking into Jared's eyes Grace searches them for a long moment. Memories were good and making new ones....Grace could feel her cheeks turn slightly red. He was enjoying the memories they were making. 

Feeling him lean in a little closer to her Grace could feel her heart start to beat harder. She hadn't expected this, Jared was good looking for sure, but falling for his this fast, wanting to get closer, and consider kissing him..that was not something she had expected. But found the beat of her heart she wasn't saying no.

   "I'm enjoying the new memories too...and the time spent with you."

Returning the squeeze to his hand  Grace looks down at his lips for a second and than looks back up at him. Bringing her other hand to the side of his face she lets her thumb run over his cheek feeling his soft skin under her hand.

As Carson steps closer Misty bristles a little bit. Hearing Carson's words it ripped Misty's heart just a little bit more and caused more pain. His words cut like a knife, and his eyes, the sorrow in them did just the same.

Hearing his words Misty shakes her head. So many things ran through her mind at this moment and didn't rest on one. Her words...she wasn't sure if her words would match or not. A small flicker flashed in her eyes she was not happy this conversation was taking place again when she told Carson no.

   "Our marriage was important to me as well and if you though so too than you wouldn't have lied. You would have trusted me Carson and the people around us. You should of thought about needing you before all this happened because I needed you too, but not its to late."

Sitting down at her desk again Misty does her best to not let tears spring into her eyes though some do slip out. She hated feeling like this and every time Carson insisted on coming back around it just dug a little deeper.

   "Please leave now unless you need medical help."

Stepping inside and following Jaz a little bit Nate cocks his head watching her. He could see how much she was hurt and it pained him. To watch someone go through something like this and to know they were alone it was hard. No one should have to face these trials like this, and No one should have to live like this but the agency had done it.

   "I'm very sorry, I can't even imagine how it feels even in the slightest bit."

Nate had people he loved and loved him, he had family and friends so to imagine how Jaz felt was imposable. Moving forward a little bit Nate lays a soft hand on Jaz's shoulder. It wasn't much but it was a little comfort he could show her, the most he was comfortable with and at least it was something.

   " Do you have anyone you could stay with? Or if I can find you good safe people to live with just till you get on your feet would you? Than you don't have to be alone or here anymore. I dont feel so comfortable knowing your alone here myself."

New Ones

Alec gives Ryan a crooked grin, a bit of life sparking in his eyes. "I don't try to look good for just anybody, ya know..." Returning the wave, he knew that she had to go, and their time was over. And for a few moments, he just stands, watching the door even after she'd gone. 

Finishing the last couple swallows of coffee, Alec tosses the cup in a trash can before heading back outside. Standing under the small overhang, he sighs as he looks at the rain. It had let up a little bit at least. Looking down the road, Ryan's car was long gone. Had he cut her lunch break short? He wondered. 

Finally starting forward, his mind doesn't let him let go of the brief conversation with Ryan. It had felt really good just to have a light chat with her. But in all reality... he did mean what he'd said... She really had ended up with the better man. Tal wasn't the type to lie, cheat on her or beat up somebody she loved. He respected her and treated her right. And Alec... comparatively speaking, he was a real jerk. Ryan was definitely better off with Tal. 

And the ache in Alec's heart returns. 

Jared wasn't sure if it was Grace's words or her touch that made his heart beat faster, and he wondered if she could feel it under her palm. His eyes drift down for a moment before coming back up and locking with her gaze. Reaching up, he covers her hand with his own, just letting his palm rest against her fingers while his thumb runs along hers.

"I guess I do have some good memories to hold," he replies softly. "But I'm kinda enjoying making new ones too..." 

Leaning a little closer towards her, his face pauses just inches from hers, close enough to feel her breath on his cheek. His hand grips hers a little tighter as he searches her eyes for signs of what she did or didn't want from him. 

Carson bites his lip at Misty's tone, his shoulders dropping just a little more. He hadn't really expected much but maybe he still had some lingering hope - that was quickly being destroyed. 

Taking a step inside the room, he stops as Misty mentions him bleeding, and he looks down quickly to discover she was right. He hadn't even noticed. "Sorry." Sucking on the top of his hand to get rid of the excess blood, he then uses his other palm to put pressure on it so it would stop bleeding.

Daring a few more steps he shakes his head slowly. "I don't need anything... Just wanted Rick to release me was all." Studying Misty, he comes just a little closer. Oh how he longed for just one kind word... one soft glance. But her eyes were as cold as steel. 

"No... I take that back... I do need something." His eyes continue hunting for any sign of warmth. "I need you." His voice is quiet... defeated. "I've been living a nightmare without you, Misty. And I've worked so hard to keep you safe... I don't understand why you won't even talk to me." Tears spring into his eyes, making them sting. "Our marriage is important enough for me to fight for it... I thought it was to you too." 

Jaz blinks, genuinely surprised at Nate's stated purpose for being here. "Um... yeah... come in, please." She opens the door wider so he can enter, before she shuts and locks it once more. 

Looking up at him, she studies his face for a moment. He really meant it... he really had come back just to check on her. And today, when she was feeling most low, it struck a chord down deep. 

"Thank you for coming, but... I'm not okay." Wrapping her arms around herself, she walks into the living room to sit on the edge of the couch. Her eyes stare down at the coffee table. "This whole thing... from the beginning... it's been one nightmare after another. I told myself years ago that the Agency wouldn't break me but this... I don't know how much longer I can hold on." 

Her voice begins to waver and a new tear trickles down her face. "They took my house... killed my dog... forced me to come here. All this time, I've been so alone. Carson's been here, but..." She pauses to swallow as several more tears fall. "...but he's so wrapped up in his own world that... that I don't even matter. All I wanted was a hug..." Her voice cracks and she keeps her eyes on the table. She felt silly for spilling everything to Nate, yet she just couldn't hold it in any longer and he was an easy target. "I know his reasons for not wanting to touch me. I understand and I respect him but... but to have been so close to a man at one point and now receive no warmth at all, it... it's just hard."

Bending over, her shoulders shake as the tears come in earnest now. "And now it's all fallen apart and I don't know what to do. I don't like it here. I hate being alone and... and I'm so scared..." 

Heart

Giving another small smile to Alec Ryan slightly nods resisting her own urge to put a hand on Alec's shoulder. That would not be good, that would not be right and not help anything. No she wouldn't do that. Though it took a lot to hold it back.

   "You didn't rune my lunch, just try not to be such a downer next time. It's kind of a turn off."

Flashing another smile to show she was joking slightly. Giving a nod and a small wave Ryan turns heading twords the door before stopping and turn back to Alec.

   "I'll see you around. Keep taking care of yourself, it seems like so far your doing a great job. You look good!"

Grace can't help but laugh at the next few pictures. Jared was right he sure didn't look happy that he had to have those hats on. It was kind of cute at the same time though there was just something about his look that even though it was a scowl there was a twinkle behind it. Maybe there was a hidden pleasure to the hats.

   "I think it's kind cute with the crooked hat and that little scowl on your face."

Glancing at Jared and seeing him look down to her lips and than back up she can't help the smile that spread on her lips. There was a tingle down her spin and for a moment she wished Jared would of just gone for it. Over the last month she'd grown close to him, gotten to know him, and she started to care. It was something she couldn't help but some where along the way...she'd fallen for him even if she had a hard time admitting it to herself. 

   "You know...have a book like this is good. It keeps your memories alive, and as long as they are than the person is never truly gone. They can live here..."

Taking her hand Grace places it over Jared's heart and just lets her hands rest there. In his heart he dad would always be and Grace new that. If Jared could remember the good times, it would help heal the bad and that was what she was aiming at. 

Hearing Carson's voice Misty looks up quickly form her desk. Studying him for a moment Rick had been right he really did look like crap. It was easy to tell he hadn't been taking care of himself and it made Misty slightly sad. 

   "It's the infirmary I can't tell you no."

Letting out a sigh and looking down at her paperwork Misty leave it for now. Maybe Carson needed help, this was her job and she couldn't turn him away not when he was sick no matter what her personal feelings to him were.

   "Rick's not here right now but I can help you. Did you need more pain meds, something to help you sleep, another IV since the one you had it would seem you took out. You're dripping blood on my floor."

As Jaz opens the door Nate stands a little taller. He was happy he'd gotten the right apartment and that he'd open the door for him with out shooting first. Giving a nod and a reassuring smile he wanted her to feel comfortable yet trying to remain a little bit different in case anyone one was watching. He didn't want Jaz to be in anymore danger.

   "No, No...Carson is going to be ok. He's in good hands with the TJY Drs. I came for you actually. Can I come in? I think standing here in the open is not the best of ideas. I promise I mean you no hard though I just want to take and make sure your ok."

Can I?

As Ryan stands, so does Alec. Searching her face, he sees some discomfort, and suddenly realizes that it was probably his fault. He'd just wanted to see her so much that he hadn't thought about it making her uncomfortable. Feeling badly, he bites his lip. "Yeah... yeah, I couldn't very well see you without saying hi. Thanks for letting me sit and talk." 

Pausing, he clears his throat. "I, um... I hope I didn't ruin your lunch or anything. I'm... I'm sorry for... um..." He gives her a rueful grin and shrugs, knowing that any more apologies were pointless. Nothing he said would change anything. "Take care of yourself, Ry... I guess I'll see you around." 

Jared's grin widens a little, humor dancing in his eyes as his shoulder nudges Grace's. "Mmm... yeah, if it tastes good, that's just a bonus..." 

Having spoken without thinking first, he looks quickly back to the photo album and clears his throat. "So, um, yeah... Florida..." He turns a page. "And this was my ninth birthday." He points to one of the pictures. "The hats were not my idea, if I remember correctly. Hence, my scowl."

Daring a sidelong glance at Grace, his sight drifts slowly to her lips then back up to her eyes. "I... never did like party hats."

Fiddling with the album page, he looks back at it again, staring at the faces that seemed so familiar yet so far away in time. He had forgotten what his father looked like. Or the fun times he'd had as a child.

Carson slowly opens his eyes, feeling as though he were in some kind of strange, thick fog. It took him several minutes just to awaken completely, and then several more to figure out just where he was. Looking at the clock on the wall, he figures out that he had been asleep for at least five hours. It was mid afternoon already and he didn't remember waking up at all since falling asleep to whatever it was Rick had given him. He did feel... a little better. Still a bit woozy and his headache was still there, but not quite as bad. He did feel a bit rested now though, so that was an improvement. 

Sitting up, he swings his legs over the side of the bed and yawns. His body begs him to lie back down and sleep some more - it had been deprived of too much lately. But he didn't want to sleep any more. He just wanted to get up and stretch and see if he could leave. 

Looking down at his arm, he sees he's still hooked up to the IV, which he notes is almost empty. First or second bag, he didn't know. Removing the tape and pulling out the IV himself, he stands, taking a second or two to make sure he has enough stability to walk. His legs were rather stiff and shaky, but he didn't fear falling over like he had earlier. Now... where was Rick? 

Trudging out to the hall, he squints in the bright lights, still sleepy. He didn't see anybody - either it was a really busy day and everybody was in their offices or out on the job, or it was a quiet day. Yawning again, he runs a hand through his matted hair and aims for the infirmary. Maybe if he could convince Rick he was okay now, he could go home instead of having to stay here for several days. 

Reaching the open door, he glances around, not finding Rick, but seeing Misty instead. In his own drowsy state, he hadn't even thought of that. And catching sight of her now made his heart lurch. Her rejection came flooding back to him, as does the pain.

Leaning on the doorframe, he waits until she sees him before speaking quietly. "Can I come in?" 

Hearing someone at the door, Jaz bristles. By now, she'd moved to the couch where half a tissue box was gone already. Who was here now? Rick had already called about Carson's condition. Nobody should be here. Was it the Agency? 

Gathering up her wits, she rises and comes cautiously to the door, picking up her handgun on the way. Now was not the time for risks. Stepping quietly, she comes close enough to peer through the peephole. Nate? Why was he here again? Was something wrong? At least she felt a bit of relief now, even if she was confused. 

Setting the gun aside, she unlocks the door and opens it. Her eyes were red, her hair a bit messy and she was visibly stressed. "What... are you doing here? Is everything with Carson okay?" 

Fuzzy

Hearing Alec's comment about being with the better man Ryan rolls her eyes. Why did he had to go and say things like that? In a way she kind of found it irritating she never understood why people said that. Letting out a sigh she shakes her head before looking down at he food.

   "Yeah, maybe. I don't know if it's how it was meant to be, but it is how it happened."

Suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable Ryan fiddles with her plate before putting her napkin on top of everything else. She was done now and really didn't want anymore. Maybe she was full or it was just the uncomfortable atmosphere she wasn't sure. Maybe it was a little guilt she was sitting here with her Ex even if it was nice talking to him a little.

   "Well I guess I should head back to work before they think I was kidnapped or something."

Standing and throwing her coat back on Ryan gives a small smile to Alec catching his eye for a moment and getting lost in there deepth. That had always been her one weekness with him, his eyes.

   "It was nice chatting with you again. Thanks for stopping to say Hi."

Nodding about the pictures Grace was very intent on listing. She really enjoyed  looking through the pictures and hearing about them.  She was getting to know Jared a little deeper through the pictures and she liked it.

   "Mmmm...I've never been a fan of flying myself. If I have to I will but if I can drive I'd rather do that."

Looking at Jared and than looking cross eyed as he whipped the marshmallow from her lips Grace can't help but laugh a little. Seeing a twinkle in his eyes was reassuring, and nice. He had a nice smile even if it was just with his eyes. They lit up, and it was something he should do more often.

   "At least its a sweet mustache and not a fuzzy ticklish one?"

Misty gives a little lame nod at Rick. At least from what Reese could tell whatever had happened to Carson would not kill him. That was a re leaf and Misty was glad about that. Though the one thing she didn't care for was how close Carson was and that the possibility he might try to come see her.

Once Rick was gone again Misty lets out a sigh. There really wasn't much more she could do but let things lie. Maybe tonight she'd let Jason know when she went to his place for dinner. Till Carson tried to see her or something she would just let it go and try not to worry. She'd been stressed enough the last few days. No matter though her hearing was heightened a little making sure any noise would catch her attachen.

Getting out of the car Nate looks at the apartment building for a long time. Only being here once earlier today he had no idea if he was at the right one or not. His reason for coming back was Jaz. He's seen how shaken she had looked earlier today and he couldn't help but feel bad for her and wanting to make sure she was ok. He really hadn't told anyone where he was going knowing they might not approve but it was just something he had to do and now he hoped this was the right place.

Knocking on the door Nate waits not sure if she'd even answer. But he hoped she would and would remember him. He didn't want to make things worse or startle her. Playing with his keys he couldn't help but be slightly nervous himself.


  

Spoiled

Rick pauses his work to give Misty a look of reassurance. He knew this wasn't easy for her. "I'm not sure yet what's wrong. He collapsed a while ago - blacked out. I'm just trying to rule out anything like a stroke or heart problem, but my gut says he had a hefty anxiety attack. I don't think he's been taking very good care of himself." 

Sighing, he stops a moment with his arms full before aiming for the door and looking over his shoulder. "I'm not sure how long he'll be here. I expect a day or two. If I can accomplish that with the stubborn Aussie, I'll be doing well."

Giving her a little nod, he finally leaves and goes to the spare room. Upon entering, he's a little surprised to see Carson already lying down. He really must not be feeling well. "Alright, Carson... lets have a looksee." Setting down some of the items he'd brought, he glances at Nate. "I think I'm good for now. Thank you for your help."

...It would take a while, and several trips back and forth to the infirmary, but in the end, Rick had his diagnosis, along with a sleeping patient. Returning to his desk in the infirmary, he sits down and sighs wearily. "Well..." He looks to Misty knowing that even if this was upsetting, that she'd probably want to know what was going on. "He's dehydrated and a bit malnourished. I've got him on an IV for a while. From what I can tell, it was an anxiety attack like I thought. His blood pressure is through the roof - I'm pretty sure it's just from stress. I gave him something to help him sleep - or rather, make him sleep since he didn't want to stay." He gives her a wry grin. "You know how he loves needles. But... he's out for a while. I'll go check on him again in an hour or so." 

Alec listens quietly, enjoying hearing about Ryan's racing and that she was doing well. Just hearing her voice was like a warm summer breeze, wrapping him in a strange sort of comfort. He had missed that voice. That smile. Those eyes. Everything. 

As she speaks of Tal though his eyes drop back down to his coffee. Oh yes. Tal. For such a very short moment, he had almost forgotten that Ryan had love in her life. Love for another man. And deep down, the pain returns. 

Forcing himself to look up again though, he gives her a small smile. "I'm... really glad that he's doing well. There's a lot of things I deeply regret and... hurting him is one of them." He swallows hard. "I'm glad you're happy though... you deserve it." No matter how much it hurt, he really was glad she had someone to love and love her back. 

"Maybe it was supposed to be this way, huh?" He manages to hold his smile, even if it was a bit crooked. "I guess in the end, you... wound up with the better man."

Taking a deep breath, he nods and takes another swallow of his hot coffee. Yes... Tal was the better man. And Ryan was better off. Setting his cup down again, he lifts his eyes once more, unable to help but take another look at her sparkling gaze. "I don't think I could ever find somebody else though," he admits quietly. "You spoiled me by being the best, and... my heart just refuses to forget." 

Jared can't help a light chuckle at the pictures. "Mmm, I think that was a trip to Florida. I remember it 'cause it was the first time I'd been on a plane. Justin was fine... I was the one with the barf bag." He rolls his eyes. "After that I hated flying. Had a good  time while in Florida though." 

Glancing to the side and seeing Grace's mouth needed to be wiped, a grin emerges. Taking his thumb, he reaches over and wipes around her lips. "I have to say that I've never really gone for women with mustaches..." 

Mellow lips

Coming back into the rooms with the cups of coco Grace sets one down on the nightstand and the other down on the other side. Seeing he had a place for her Grace can't help but smile as she sits down next to him and sinks into the bed a little bit getting comfortable. 

Taking the book from Jared Grace smile looking at him and than back at the book. Seeing the pictures, smiling faces looked back at her. She couldn't help but laugh a little at some of them. Pointing to one of the groups of pictures Grace smiles.

   "Do you remember where these were taken? It looks really nice where ever it is."

Picking up her cup of coco and holding it in her hands she takes a small sip before pulling it away and a little marshmallow white ring was left around her lips. Completely unaware that it was even there.

Watching Alec as he talks Ryan was intrusted in what he had to say, maybe she wanted to form a friendship even though she could feel something deep in the pit of her stomach. There were feelings there still, there were raging emotions thats she so despritly wanted to push away. She loved Tal, had formed something special with him and these feelings for Alec, she wished the would just disappear.

   "Thats very nice of Misty to help you out like she has. She's a very nice lady."

Looking down at her plate and taking another fry she runs it through the ketchup and vinegar before lifting it up and taking a bite. She wondered how much Alec had changed, he seemed to be starting new, but was it an act a cover up? Could someone who had beat someone she loved within an inch of his life really change that much? Ryan wasn't so sure and she was leery.

   "For me...things are good right now. I've been on an up lately since one of the new racers has been out of town or so I am told. Hunter is his name I think...he gives me a run for my money but I like that. It's nice to have a challenge and not win all the time."

Taking her burger she takes a bite chewing it and thinking about what she was going to say next. It was very odd sitting here and maybe not so smart. It was hard talking, looking at Alec and trying to get past all he had done. Her emotions she didn't understand them and they hurt so much, why did it have too?

   "Tal and I are doing well too. He's really sweet and is making a great recovery. Still trying to get on his own feet but slowly he's making it."

Hearing the door open again Misty looks up from her desk. Watching Rick she can feel her heart start beating again quite fast. She still didn't know what was going on, hearing though that Carson would be only a room away made her nerves go up slightly. She wasn't sure how she felt about having him around. She didn't want anything to happen to him but she wasn't sure if she felt comfortable either.

   "Whats wrong with him? Is he going to be ok?"

Misty couldn't help but ask. She did want to know if he would be ok or not. She didn't know anything but something was wrong with him.

   "How long do you think he's going to be around?"

People believe in me...

Jared wishes there was something more he could do for Grace, but he knew she was right. There really would be no way he could ever repay her. 

At the mention of cocoa, a wry grin emerges. "You kidding? My mom has everything." He thinks a moment and shrugs. "I guess that does sound kinda good..." 

...Lydia was more than happy to let Grace make some cocoa, insisting on marshmallows as well. And by the time Grace returns to the bedroom, Jared is sitting up a little straighter, having moved off to one side. And in his lap was a photo album. 

Nodding for Grace to sit next to him in the space he'd made, he accepts the mug of cocoa before moving the photo album into her lap instead. "Mom gave this to me to look at the other day... I figured..." He shrugs. "After all my ranting and blubbering, you might be interested." 

The album was full of photos from Jared and Justin's childhood, from birthdays, family vacations, holidays and more. Their father was included in the photos as well, until later on in the album. 


A small but genuine smile spreads on Alec's lips as he eases down across from Ryan. She had every right to tell him to beat it, but she hadn't. And she even wondered how he was and had liked the flowers - it was certainly a whole lot more than he'd anticipated, and he wasn't going to miss this chance to spend some time with her, even if it was only a few minutes. 

"I'm glad you liked them..." His smile remains until he lowers his eyes to pop open the lid on his coffee and take a sip. Her question hadn't gone unheard though. 

"Things are going alright." He nods then looks back up at her again, his eyes finding hers and just staring at them for several moments. "Still looking for a job. You know how that goes for a guy with a record like mine." He gives a little scoff and shrugs. "I figure somebody's bound to accept me eventually. In the meantime, Misty's still letting me stay with her and she's got me fixing up a shed out back so I can have my own space."

He purses his lips and nods thoughtfully. "Getting my feet under myself has... probably never been harder," he admits. "But having a couple people believe in me has helped." 

He just wanted her to know he was different. He'd changed. He was trying to get his life back. He wanted to share with her. Let her know he was really making an effort. Not that it would matter though... 

His eyes finally drop again and he takes another sip of his coffee. "What about you?" His gaze rises once more and a lump rises in his throat as he reminds his hand that it was not allowed to reach over and touch hers. "How are things?"


Watching the men leave, Jaz leans on the open door for several minutes until they were out of sight. Closing it again, she locks the deadbolt and takes in a deep breath. There was a side of her that was Agency... she had learned to be tough as nails - tough enough to kill, cheat, lie, steal... whatever was needed to get the job done. But since then, she had set aside those ways... and her sensitivity as a human being - as a woman - had returned. And right now, she did not feel like a strong Agency villain... she felt like a weak and frightened woman. 

Returning to the kitchen, she sits down in one of the chairs before burying her face in her hands and letting the sobs come out. She'd thought she'd escaped the Agency. She'd had her own life. And now it was all gone, all over again. And she was scared. She was scared for her life, or worse, scared they would take her back. 


Carson responds to Nate with half a laugh. "I have a feeling you might have enjoyed knocking me out." 

Making it to the car, he gets in the back seat. Feeling even worse now that he'd been up and walking, he leans over to lie down for the short ride to TJY. Rick keeps a close eye on him, but just lets him be for now. 

Back at TJY, Rick leads the way inside, while Carson still needs Nate's support to walk, his dizziness still very present and his legs still too wobbly to stand. Pointing down the hall, Rick motions to the spare room beside the infirmary. He'd rather use the infirmary itself, but he didn't want to put Misty through that. "Go in there and lie down, Carson," he directs. "Nate, make sure he does it, will you? I've gotta grab some stuff and I'll be right in." 

Carson has enough energy to smirk, but not enough to fight, so he lets Nate take him to the room. Without complaint, he eases down on the bed, closing his eyes to try and stop the dizziness and pounding. Whether he knew it or not, him not putting up a fight in itself was a clue that something was wrong. 

Rick walks into the infirmary and quickly starts to gather some things he needs, throwing Misty a quick glance. He wasn't even sure if she wanted to know what was going on though, so he refrains from explaining. "I'll be in and out," he mentions. "Carson will be in the next room for a while, if I can keep him there." 

Hot CoCo

Sitting in Jared's room with him Grace was wrapped in the warm fuzzy bathrobe. She wasn't sure if it was Lydia's or not but it was comfortable, soft, and warm. Almost like she was wrapped in comfort herself without even knowing it. Maybe it was Lydia's motherly nature that made it feel like that.

   "Walk again, keep fight and don't give up. If you want to repay me thats the best way to do it. Other than that there really is no way to repay someones kindness."

Looking to Jared and giving a small smile Graces eyes give a twinkle. Her hair was still damp but thanks to Lydia once again it was brushed nicely and placed now in a pony tail. She new she probley still looked like a mess but that was ok. She could look worse for sure and after all it's not like this was a best looking pageant.

   "I could use some hot coco...you think mom has any I can make us?"

The day had been pretty busy and getting to take a lunch was pretty surprising to Ryan. She had told Tal that she wouldn't have time to go to lunch today and than when she realized she would he'd already had other plans. So eating alone at her favorite resonant is where she choose to go.

Taking a bite of her french fry and looking over one of her new car magazines she hadn't even realized anyone had come up to her. She was to busy looking over new additions to her car. Hearing Alic's voice though her head shoots up. Just looking at him for a long moment. Today he looked...good. Maybe it was the slight rain, maybe it was the cap he had on but whatever it was it worked.

   "Alec...Hi!"

Finally realizing he'd asked a question Ryan looks at the seat across from her for a second than back to Alec. It couldn't hurt right? She was almost done anyways and just because he sat with her didn't mean anything right?

  "Yeah yeah sure you can sit if you want. Hows everything going? I got the flowers, they were pretty...thank you."

Following Rick's direction Nick does what he's told. Helping Carson up, standing guard for who new what could happen. Every once in a while stealing a glance at Jaz. So this was the woman Carson was staying with. She was pretty in her own way and yet in he eyes there was something dark. Maybe it was to many years with the Agency that put that there, or the feeling of really being alone that made it rough for her. Witch ever it did sadden him a little.

   "If you change your mind about staying alone give us a call. No one should have too."

Turning and slinging Carson's arm around his shoulders He helps lift Carson up and start walking slowly to the car. He might not agree with everything that had been going on and that things could of been done differently but that didn't mean he wanted someone hurt. Carson looked in rough shape and he needed help that was the bottom line.

   "I'm glad you came willingly Carson I would of hated to knock you out in this kind of condition."

Continuing to the car with Carson Nate helps him in before getting in the drivers seat. Looking back at the house and than to the rear view mirror Nate gives his head a shake before starting up the car and heading back the way they came.

Taken?

Rick just waves Nate to follow, waiting until they were outside to explain. "Just got off the phone with Jaz DeMoy - you know, Carson's woman. Or... his whatever." Once Reese had found out yesterday from Jason that Misty knew Carson's story, he'd let others in on it too, so that the agents would be aware of what was happening. If extra help was needed, communication was key. Nobody liked speaking of others' personal lives, but with the Agency involved, privacy just wasn't an issue. 

"She said Carson was talking to her, got a bit upset, then just collapsed. He was unconscious, but she felt better calling us rather than the hospital."

Getting to Nate's car, he gets in on passenger side and waits until they're on their way out of the lot. "It's 200 Harrison, number 12."

The drive only took a few minutes, and arriving at the apartment complex, Rick uses Nate's help to quickly locate which one they were looking for. Knocking only once on the door, Jaz was right there, opening it for them, her face pale with worry. "He's in the kitchen." She points to the other room. It was a very small apartment, and Rick could see Carson from here.

Seeing Nate, Jaz eyes him cautiously but says nothing. She didn't like the Elite, but right now, she had no other choice. At least she knew that Carson had trusted these two, and had even been friends with Nate before this whole mess had started. 

Rick goes quickly to the kitchen and kneels by Carson, checking his vitals then giving him a shot and waiting a few more minutes as he keeps an eye on his pulse. 

Carson's head pounds and he blinks, squinting in the light. His whole body tenses and he tries to sit up, caught in a moment of fear from realizing he was on the floor. 

"Easy, easy," Rick soothes, firmly holding him down. "Don't sit up yet." 

Recognizing the voice, Carson relaxes just a little bit, but is still confused. "What are you doing here?" he mumbles. "What happened?" 

"You tell me. What's the last thing you remember?"

Carson stares up at the ceiling, finally figuring out that he was on the kitchen floor of the apartment. "Um..." His eyes drift to Jaz then... Nate? "I was... um..." He furrows his brow. "Talking to Jaz and... I got real dizzy and just... I guess I passed out." 

"Mm-hmm." Rick motions Nate over to help. "Come on - lets get you in a chair." 

Carson latches on to both men and stands up wobbly, his legs feeling like they were made out of jelly. Making it to a chair at the table, he sits down, breathing heavily from the effort. His face lacked color and his eyes were underlined with dark circles. Looking around at the three again, his sight is interrupted by Rick shining a light in his eyes, then following Rick's waving finger with his gaze. "What are you doing here?" The question was directed at Rick or Nate or both. 

Rick sighs. "Well I don't think it's a stroke... Jaz called me when you passed out. And I'm glad she did. How do you feel?"

"Um... my head hurts... kinda feel woozy. Real tired."

"Mm-hmm... Any pain in your chest?" 

"No."

"He kept rubbing his chest last night," Jaz interrupts.

Carson rolls his eyes. "It was just heartburn. It hurt on and off. I'm fine."

Rick purses his lips as he studies him. "Well I don't think you had a heart attack, but I think you should come back to TJY with us just in case. I want to check you over more thoroughly and make sure this isn't something more serious than exhaustion." 

Carson frowns. "No... no. I'm just tired, that's all."

"You don't faint from simply being tired," Rick counters sternly. 

"I just want to stay here. I'll go to bed for a while and I'll be fine." 

"You're coming with us."

Carson's stomach churns and his head starts to throb again. "Jaz, tell 'em I'm staying here."

Jaz eyes all three men before shaking her head. "I think he's right. I think you should go with them."

"But I-"

"Just go, Carson. Pull your head out of your butt for once and quit being so stubborn." 

Rick gives a mild grin at the way Jaz was ordering him around. "She's right. If you don't pull your head out yourself, we might have to do it surgically, and that's not very pretty."

Carson smirks, rolling his eyes. "Whatever." Standing up, his knees buckle and he grabs Nate to keep from falling. 

Rick quirks an eyebrow. "You're fine, huh?" He nods to Nate. "Let's get him out to the car, shall we?" He looks to Jaz. "You staying or going?" 

She shakes her head, wrapping her arms around herself. "I'll stay... I'm used to it. Just take care of him."

"That, I can do." Rick aims for the door, making sure Nate and Carson are behind him.

Pulling his baseball cap down lower and tucking his jacket around himself a little tighter, Alec trudges down the sidewalk in the cold rain, heading for the hardware store. He'd done what he could to the plumbing and electricity in the shed, but now there were several things he'd need to purchase. Misty was footing the bill for now - he was very grateful, but he was also keeping track so he could pay her back when he could.

Passing the small family diner, Alec's eyes glance inside the window. It was dry, warm, and he sure could go for a cup of coffee right about now. Stepping under the small overhang, he digs in his pocket to count change. He had just enough for some coffee. 

Just ready to go inside, he stops short as his gaze falls on one of the cars parked out front. It was the only one like it. Swallowing hard, he looks back to the restaurant door and hesitates. Something inside told him to just keep on walking and forget the coffee. But... something else longed to go inside if only to catch a glimpse of Ryan. 

After a few more seconds of debate, he finally aims for the door again. Stepping inside, he gives a quick glance around. He was pretty wet from his walk, and rainwater dripped from the brim of his cap. Then his eyes fall to the table off to the side. She had her back turned, but he knew it was her. And she was alone. Controlling the urge to go straight over to her, he heads for the counter instead and orders a coffee to go. He knew he shouldn't stay. He should go. She didn't want to see him. It was stupid. 

But once he had his coffee in hand and was turning to go, his eyes take on a mind of their own, and drift back to Ryan's table. After another inner battle, he gives in to his legs and heads in that direction. 

Stopping a few feet away from her table,he waits for her to look up and see him. Gazing down at her from under the brim of his hat, he wondered if she'd ever looked any more beautiful than she did right now. He knew she was just on break from work, but she could clean herself up all she wanted and it wouldn't matter - she always looked good. And... it appeared she was only partway through her meal.

Fiddling with the lid of the styrofoam coffee cup, he gives Ryan a little smile. "Hi..." Glancing to the chair across from her, he bites his lip. "Is... this seat taken?"

Though Jared sighs, he really did absorb Grace's words. He always did and always mulled over them later. And he always found that she made a lot of sense. It was often her words that helped him through these dark days. She might never know it... but it was true. 

Managing to get to his feet, it was exhausting and painful, but he withholds any complaints. Leaning heavily on Grace, he tries to find his balance before attempting a couple awkward steps. Stopping to rest for a moment, he judges the distance between them and the porch where his wheelchair was waiting. "Race ya," he jokes. 

It wasn't easy, but he does make it to the goal and is finally able to sit again, allowing Grace to push him back inside. Once there, Lydia is immediately there with towels to help them dry off, giving Jared a motherly order to go change into dry clothes, while also offering Grace a comfy bath robe while she dried her clothes for her too. 

Not too much later, Jared finds himself sitting on his bed in dry clothes, his hair still damp but at least he was warm again. With Grace still here though, his mind continues to drift back to their time outside. On one hand, he felt a little better, getting some of that stuff off his chest. And on the other hand he felt rather embarrassed. 

"Ya know..." He looks down, picking at a thread on the bedspread. "I always think about repaying you for all you do... then I never can quite figure out just how I'd do it."

Better days

   "God did not take your father away life did that, but God sure did offer him a great place to live since it did happen."

Grace felt sad that Jared had strayed away from God. She new when stuff happened to people sometimes they did back away and even time she thought about it it did make her a little sadder and she could hope she could help Jared find the path back even if she wasn't going to push to hard. The last thing she wanted to do was drive him away.

Feeling Jared's hand on her face it was warm and soft drawing her attachen to him. Looking deep into his eyes she could see the pain he was in but past that she could see something else too. She wasn't sure what it was in those big deep eyes but she new it seemed to call her in deeper.

   "I do what I can because I care."

Leaning in a little Grace could tell she was but as soon as Jared's hand dropped and he looked away she backed up a little bit hers cheeks taking on a little red color though one might not be able to tell because she was slightly red already from the cold.

Hearing Jared's request Grace stands holding her hand out to him. Helping him up once again she would help him but not so all the work for him. He would get his exercises in but maybe without him even knowing.

   "There is always hope of a better day tomorrow, but now I don't want you to catch a cold so I will help you."

Sitting at her desk and catching up on work that she'd missed yesterday Misty didn't even hear when the phone rung. She had lots of do before she was to go home and it seemed today time was not on her side. Over hearing the urgency in Rick's voice though Misty can't help but pay a little more attachen and listen closer. 

Hearing Carson's name she bristles a little wondering what was going on. She could feel her pulse race a little not knowing what was going on or what was wrong it had something to do with Carson that much she new and Jaz was the one calling.

Once Rick hanfs up the phone she is going to ask more but can't as he leaves. She could feel the worry build inside her. She might hate her soon to be ex husband but never in a million years would she want him to die. All she can do is sit...and wait.

Looking up quickly as Rick comes over Nate was on his feet. He could see the urgency in his eyes, and voice and new better than to resist. Grabbing his jacket, side arm and badge Nate was next to Rick and making there way out of TJY in no time.

   "Whats going on? I'll drive just let me know where we are going."

Emergency

Jared lifts his head to turn and look at Grace. Her words about God shouldn't have surprised him. He knew she was a woman of faith. As was his own mother and his brother too. They always had been. 

Looking down for a moment, Jared slowly withdraws his hand from Grace's. "I tried that once... and that Heavenly Father took my earthly father away as my reward for trusting Him." His tone was quiet, but laced with bitterness. 

His eyes rise to meet hers again as they search her gaze through the rain. His tears had slowed, but his heart still hurt. Lifting his hand, he rests his palm against her cheek gently. "You've done so much more for me than He ever did." 

Realizing how close they were and how good it felt to lay his hand on her face, he swallows hard before retreating and looking away again. Wrapping his arms around himself, he shivers some more, just now sensing how cold he was from being out here so long. Part of him wanted to go back inside... and part of him didn't care. But he didn't want Grace to get sick from being out here with him either and he knew she wouldn't leave him here alone. 

"I don't think I can make it back to the porch on my own," he admits. "Would you help me?"


Jason tried to make the next day as stress-free as possible for Misty. Heading to the lake in the morning with a picnic lunch, they spent all day sitting on the beach, walking in the sand or napping on the warm grass. Jason avoided any talk of work or of Carson. He knew that everything was still heavy on Misty's mind, but he'd at least give her a break from discussing it. Thankfully when they were back home that evening, Carson didn't come again, nor did anyone call. It was quiet, and no one tried anything. Though leery, Jason had a strange feeling that they were safe. It didn't stop him from bringing Trooper over again though or from sleeping with one eye open.

Up the following morning, Jason made sure he and Misty left for work at the same time so he could follow her and keep an eye on everything. With no mishaps, work seemed just a little less stressful, even when he was called out on a case. 


"No! She doesn't want anything to do with me, alright?" Carson shoves away his plate of hardly-touched breakfast that Jaz had prepared.

Flinching, Jaz looks down at her scrambled eggs, sorry she'd asked if Misty had been receptive to his telling the truth. But since Carson had been either silent or gone the whole prior day, she'd been worried and finally had dared to ask. His quietness while sitting at the breakfast table this morning hadn't helped the tense atmosphere either. "I'm sorry. Doesn't she believe you? I mean if it would help, I'd-"

"Nothing will help." Carson stands up abruptly, grabbing his plate to take it to the counter. Even coffee wasn't settling well with him this morning.

Jaz sighs and nibbles on her toast, wishing there was something she could do. She hated being in limbo like this. Their lives were threatened and they didn't even know what their next move was. Unless Carson did and just hadn't divulged it to her yet. Didn't she have a right to know his plans though? Having things fall apart and him not say a word to her was torture. They were in this thing together, but he was shutting her out completely. She just wanted to know which angle they'd take now and whether or not she needed to make her own moves. "Are you going to open up the restaurant today?"

"No."

"But... if we stray from our normal routines then-"

"It doesn't matter, Jaz!" Carson whirls around throwing his arms in the air. "I'd be shocked if the Agency doesn't already know the jig's up! The lie is over. The game is over. Let 'em come in here and blow all our brains out! I don't care anymore!" As he raises his voice, he's hit with a splitting headache and he turns to lean on the counter. There was no way out of this. He'd done all he could. He'd tried his hardest, and they were still all in danger with no escape. He'd tossed and turned all night with endless theories, plans and dead ends. Feeling dizzy, he suddenly realizes that his pulse is racing as fast as his mind, and he felt a bead of sweat trickle down his face.

Frustrated, Jaz ceases her breakfast. "Well I care! Here we are, sitting ducks, and you didn't say one word to me yesterday. If you're gonna just tuck tail and run, then you better tell me now because if that's the case, I'm getting out before they come to kill me."

"I'm not a coward!" Carson barks. His own sharp voice makes him wince and he puts a hand to his head. "I just need time." He lowers his tone as he leans more heavily on the counter, swaying just a little. "Just time to... to figure it out."

Jaz frowns at his odd behavior and stands from her chair. "Carson, are you okay?"

"I'm... I'm fine." He waves her away while his stomach threatened to bring up what little breakfast he'd had. 

"You're as pale as-"

Jaz didn't even finish her sentence - or if she did, Carson didn't hear her. His world suddenly became dark and he feels himself falling but can't stop it. 

Watching Carson fall to the floor, Jaz is immediately kneeling at his side. "Carson... Carson, can you hear me?" No response. "Come on..." She shakes him gently before checking his pulse and finding it racing. "No, no, don't do this to me..." Trembling, she manages to stand and go for the phone...


Pacing at the infirmary counter, Rick reads over a report, mumbling to himself while working on a cup of coffee. The ringing phone interrupts him and he glances over to Misty. Seeing she was busier than he was, he sets down his folder and answers the call himself. 

"Yeah, hello... Jaz who? ...Wait, wait, slow down... Carson what?" His eyes automatically drift back to Misty then return to the counter as he listens. "Did you call 911? .... Okay, alright, just stay calm... Is he breathing? ....... okay.... no, just make sure he doesn't move... I'm on my way, okay? .... Take a deep breath... what's your address? .... Got it. Alright. I'll be right there." 

Hanging up the phone, Rick sheds his lab coat and grabs his bag, quickly taking several different bottles off the shelf, not knowing what was needed. "Emergency," he calls over his shoulder. "Infirmary's yours 'til I get back." Without giving Misty time to ask questions, he's out the door and on his way to the main floor. His eyes sweep the floor as he makes his way quickly to the exit, and there was only one person who seemed to be around. 

"Nate." He bangs on the cubicle wall. "You're with me. Come on. I'll explain on the way." 

Heal your Heart

Just listing to Jared Grace takes in everything he says. Listing, processing, and understanding was he was saying. He's said he had done some pretty bad things and she believed him having him talk about it really brought it into the light a little more though. Though it was bad she wouldn't think anything less of Jared. It was in his past and he understood what he's dont wrong. Grace just couldn't help but feel bad for him. The pain was so clear and it hurt her to see him like this and only imagine how he felt.

   "The rain wont wash it away, but I know something that can."

Grace turns her head to Jared and gives a small smile. The rain ran down her face as she hair was matted to her for head, and water trickled down her face. But a smile was spread across her lips and she searched his face.

    "There is a person, our heavenly father who can take away your pain. He can heal your heart, and can help you on the road to becoming a different person as long as you have faith and believe."

To: Hunter
From: Katie

Hah...poor guy. Idk as long as Clint
dosn't tell Wendy he's gonna be racing
she might let him come lol.

To: Hunter
From: Katie

You better not, or I'll call my uncle to beat
ya up and you know they will too.

Laying with Jason on the couch for the moment while Alec washed dishes Misty was happy to have Jason close so she could just soak up his comfort. It's what she needed right now more than anything. Just to know someone cared and was there to keep her safe. Someone who even if they didn't know it took the pain away just a little bit.

   "Calling in tomorrow sounds good to me. I don't feel much like seeing anyone....other than you that is."

Misty lets out another deep sigh before nuzzling her head into Jason a little more. She was psychical exhausted, mentally exhausted and just wanted to forget about the world for a little while. Things had been so messed up and her heart hurt so much, for her own health she just needed to get away.

Nothing Left

Jared is a little surprised when Grace puts her arm around him but... it felt good. She was warm and comforting and... she made him feel safe when he felt so far from where he knew he needed to be... so lost. 

Her words made sense. It was almost as if his soul needed the same healing his legs did. It made it easier to understand, but not any easier to accomplish. Would he walk again? Would he feel again? Would he live again? He'd felt so good before remembering his life. Would he be able to gain back that sense of freedom and wonder as he'd discovered "new" things? 

Without moving his head, his eyes glance down as he feels Grace's fingers run along his arm and down to his fingers. Her touch was light and it sent a tingle through his hand. Closing his eyes, he lets his own fingers curl around hers. More tears mingle with the rain, the only sign of his emotions was his inconsistent breathing or an occasional sniff. Could such a terrible person like him ever really heal? 

"I lied a lot..." The statement came out of nowhere, his voice but a whimper. "I lied in my job all the time. I even got people fired so I could climb the ladder or get the jobs everybody wanted." He swallows hard, recalling all of his dirty dealings with executives, bribing or blackmailing his way to the top - whatever it took for him to keep on traveling, earning more money than he needed, and driving the cars he wanted. 

"It didn't matter who got in the way." He pauses again, leaving his eyes closed. His thumb runs along Grace's hand absentmindedly. "Mary was a good hard worker. She had three kids. Her husband was dead. And she was chosen for a trip I wanted. Whoever closed the deal would get a nice bonus. She needed to feed her kids. I wanted a new car." His face contorts into a cringe. "I started a rumor about her that got her fired within a week. I got the trip. Closed the deal. Got my new car. I saw Mary again just once after that... she was a waitress at a dump of a diner."

Letting out a ragged sigh, he shakes his head. "What's worse is I didn't care. And she wasn't the only one I did things like that to. It just... never mattered." 

The rain continues to pour down, washing away his tears as they came. "And the women..." His grip on Grace's hand tightens. She should hate a man like him... fear him... loathe him. "Every town I went, I either had someone there already, or found someone new. I'd wine and dine whoever I wanted, if it would get me back to her hotel room or apartment for the night. Whether they were married or not... experienced or naive... wanting a good time or completely innocent..." His voice cracks. "I robbed her of so much..."

It was apparent now that he was thinking of some girl in particular. "She didn't know what I wanted. She just thought I was a nice guy. She thought I really cared. And the next day when she showed up at the conference looking for me, I denied even knowing her." 

Opening his eyes, Jared stares dimly through the rain, wishing it would wash away his memory again so he wouldn't have to remember these horrible things. There was more - so much more. Lie upon lie, woman after woman, cheating over and over, dirty pool without batting an eye, constant conniving, and none of that even included what he'd done to his own brother and mother. It was no wonder Justin hated him. 

"My only reason for coming here was to tear my mother and brother apart." He tries to swallow the lump in his throat, but it just wouldn't go away. "That was it. There was a deal going down here, and I was going to stick around - still travel for the company but keep this one of my home bases. But my single reason for staying in this house was to cause Justin pain. And it worked." He scoffs. "I did a beautiful job. I saw him suffer and I enjoyed it." 

He blinks away some rain and shivers as a breeze comes through the yard. He'd been out here for a long time before Grace had shown up, and he was soaked to the bone, starting to get cold. His legs were stiff from sitting so long and his muscles ached. But he just didn't care. 

"I wanted for you to get to know me better," he confesses quietly between shivers. "But I realized that... that there's nothing to tell except bad stuff. The rain can't wash it away... 'cause if it washes away the bad, there's... there's nothing left."


To: Katie
From: Hunter
LOL - Clint's already jealous the way it
is. I told him he needs to come out to NV
and ride a race with me. He said Wendy
would kill him but hes tempted. lol

To: Katie
From: Hunter
No worries. I won't push it with my knee.
Promise. :)


After the card games were over, Alec had left the room to wash dishes for Misty then take a shower, leaving Jason alone with Misty for just a little while. Sitting back on the couch with his arm around her, his hand gently rubs her shoulder and he turns to give her forehead a kiss. 

It had been a stressful night, even though they'd avoided talk of what had happened. Carson's presence alone had made the atmosphere unbearably tense. Jason and Alec had exchanged glances several times, but neither knew quite what they could do for Misty. Both felt helpless. Alec's offer to do the dishes felt like a feeble attempt to give her some rest, while Jason just wanted to give her the hug she deserved. 

"I worry about you," he admits softly. He wanted to offer to stay by her side all night, but he knew he couldn't. With the couch as Alec's bed, that left the bedroom, and Jason knew that wasn't a good idea. He just wanted to help... wanted to make Misty feel better...

"I don't work tomorrow... wanna call in and you and I run up to the lake for the day?"  

Home soon

Moving from her squating position and sitting down on the grass Grace didn't care if she got wet and dirty, it didn't bother her and being with Jared it was more important anyways. Letting him lean his head on his arms Grace moves her own arm over and around his shoulders offering him a little comfort.

   "It has to hurt or we would never learn right from it."

Letting out a small sigh Grace couldn't help but feel bad for Jared. He had it pretty rough right now and she wondered if she was helping him. She'd like to think she was but really there was no way to surely tell. He's been changing again slowly for the best so that was a small sigh, she just hoped it continued.

   "The numbness will soon go away if you let it. Slowly you have to let go, and than you will feel a tingle, and feeling will return. You just can't give up on yourself, because I sure haven't."

Taking her free hand and moving it slowly down Jared's arm and lets her fingers meet his. Playing with them for just a moment finally she locks them together. Sitting there in the rain just holding it hand. Today she'd let him sit there as long as he wanted. They didn't need to work on his legs, the beating rain did that for him.

To: Hunter
From: Katie

Ha...did you tell him you already
have a few cars? I be that would make
him even more jealouse. Oh and
Wendy she'd probley kill you for 
letting him buy your bike.

To: Hunter
From: Katie

Ohhh...let me know how the ride
goes tomorrow? Just don't push it
ok? I want you to come home soon!

Numb

Getting such a quick response from Katie, Hunter smiles. He was glad that they could keep in touch even though he'd had to stay here longer. Her simple words of affection helped him... ride out the storm. 

To: Katie

From: Hunter

Mmm... I can feel you in my arms

right now. :) 

Angel said I can try a short ride

tomorrow if I behave. Kinda sore

tonight so giving it a good rest. Will

have to see how long it can stand

the pressure tomorrow. Clint keeps

telling me I ought to buy a car after

selling the bike - to him. lol I told 

him no. lol

Jared's ears pick up the sound of the back door but he doesn't move. It might be his mom. It might be Grace. It didn't matter. 

He more sensed than heard someone's soft steps approach and he could feel Grace's presence before he actually saw her out of the corner of his eye. He still remains unmoving, his gaze glued to the yard... or was it beyond the yard to something only he could see? 

Her question finally brings about a small nod. Yes, he did like the feel of the rain. But he wished it could wash away the insides of things like it did the outside. And it couldn't. It just wasn't that simple. 

Only now might one notice that it wasn't just rain that ran down his face. Tears streaming down from his eyes were well-hidden beneath the mask of raindrops. But rain wouldn't create the redness of his eyes or the slight tremble of his lower lip. 

Leaning to the side, slowly, slowly, his head comes to rest on Grace's shoulder. "Why does it have to hurt?" His voice wasn't much more than a whimper. "I can feel the rain on the outside, but... but on the inside it's numb."

Surrender

Continuing to listen to the commotion in the hall Misty closes her eyes. She wished there was a way to block everything out, a way to put ones self into another realm and make this go away. She did deep down still love Carson, but she wouldn't go back to him, she couldn't he'd done to much for her to even think about trusting him again. No...she was moving on and doing what she must to take life back. Far to long she'd lived like this.

As Carson starts to bang on the door Misty gives a jump as her eyes open and she focuses on Alec for a long moment. She'd never been scared of Carson before, or wished for him to just leave but this time it was different. Maybe it was the desperation she could hear in his voice that made her wonder what would he do to get to her to talk.

When Jason comes back into the room Misty turns to look at him before looking back to the cards. She new they might talk about what happened at some point and that was ok but right now she really didn't want to talk about it.  She just wanted to go back to what they were doing. Her blood pressure was already high enough.

   "Never give up, never surrender...We are totally going to make a come back on you Alec."

Picking up her cards again Misty looks down at them shifting a few things around and moving a few other things into position to go with certain other things. She was ready to kick some butt.

Sitting out on the porch and enjoying the fresh air Katie pulls out her phone feeling it vibrate. Seeing the text she can't help but smile. He always had perfect timing, and never missed. Or maybe it was simply Katie always loved hearing from him.

To: Hunter
From: Katie

I've really have missed you too. I'm
sitting out side right now and just 
enjoying the night air. It's not like at
the ranch but whats worse is your 
not here too.

Katie gives another smile as she stretches her legs out.

Yay, I am missing you something 
horribly. The nights are boring and
I kinda wish I was still at work. 
Can't wait to get your hugs and kiss
soon. When does Angel think you
can ride again?

Following Lydia to the back door Grace stands and just looks out it for a long moment. She was trying to deiced if she thought of Jared sitting out in the rain. It could mean any different things but each went around one. At least he had found the ambition to go out, and do it on his own. Looking back to Lydia she smiles and gives a pat to her arm.

   "When a bird has a broken wing we don't shelter them from at least trying when there strength returns because if we do they will never try again. Even if it was to hurt itself it needs to spread it's wings and try. He's gonna be ok Lydia, I promise."

Pushing open the back screen door Grace steps onto the porch before down to where Jared was. She was getting drenched but she didn't seem to care. The rain was warm, and it felt good, soon the air would turn cold, and a warm rain like this would be a little harder to find.

Squatting down next to Jared Grace smile just letting her own eyes winder the back yard taking in a few things she really hadn't noticed before. It was a nice yard and very spashes. She couldn't help but wonder who kept it up for her but that was a question for another time.

   "I like the rain, it feels nice and its a good reminder that never the dirtiest of objects can be washed away one way or another. Do you like how the raid feels too?"

Like a Storm

It was quiet enough that Carson could hear Misty's response to Jason, and his head starts to pound again. This was a nightmare. From the very beginning he'd known - been sure - that once he could explain everything, he and Misty would be okay. He had done all of this to save her life! Didn't she understand?! 

Jason purses his lips and turns around to face Carson through the screen door again. "You got the divorce papers?" 

Carson felt he might throw up. "Of course not. I just want to talk to Misty, that's all. Ten minutes. Five, if that's all I can get." 

"I'm sorry." Jason had never seen Carson look this bad - he looked like death warmed over, while desperation showed in his dark eyes. He hadn't even looked this bad way back when he was just starting to try and make a life for himself - back when smoking, drinking and women were still normal routines. "You need to leave now." 

"I can't," Carson hisses. "Don't you understand? Didn't she tell you that-"

"She told me you claim everything was just an act. Regardless, this is her choice, Carson. Personally I'd like to belt you one for being so stupid. But personal feelings aside, Misty doesn't want to see you, and I suggest you leave now before I have to use force." 

Carson didn't know if he was more angry or hurt - neither felt good. His heart had been tearing in two for so long, and now it felt like Misty was applying the final yank to finish the job. Not only being rejected, but after he had poured his soul to her in his letter... it hadn't been all that long since he'd left... was all of her love gone? Was all hope gone? Was there truly nothing left after all he had done to keep her and the baby safe? Tears spring into his eyes, and he's too exhausted to hide them. "Don't do this, Jason," he begs. "Please. I just want to see her... talk... that's all. Please." 

"It's not my choice." Jason's tone remained firm. He really didn't know what to think about Carson right now - whether he still thought he was a jerk, or a brave protector instead. But it didn't matter. He was going to respect Misty's wishes. She didn't need any more stress, especially in her condition. The day had been hard enough without this. "Turn around and go home," he advises. "For Misty's sake." 

"This is for Misty!" Carson wasn't sure when he'd felt more desperate. "I'm her husband, dang it! I have to work this out! I have to make it right!" 

Though Carson's voice was raised, Jason doesn't flinch. "I'm sorry," he repeats. Taking hold of the door, he slowly shuts it. 

No! No, this couldn't happen! Carson knew he shouldn't have bent to the Agency's demands... he knew he should have asked for help... he knew he shouldn't have kept Misty in the dark. But it was over! He had apologized and begged her forgiveness. He had told her the truth - the truth that he still loved her with all his heart and he had never cheated on her at all and never would! Why was she still rejecting him? 

"Misty!" He bangs his palm on the door. "Let me talk to you!" 

Jason hadn't yet taken two steps away from the door and he whirls back around to whip the door back open again. "Are you insane?!" 

Carson is breathing heavily and his shoulders drop. "Yes. I'm insanely in love."

"Then for goodness sake, don't risk Misty's health by causing her more grief."

A tear runs down Carson's cheek and his tone softens. "How can the man who loves her more than life cause her grief?" 

Jason wished he had an answer, but he didn't. "Carson... I'm telling you for the last time to leave. If you don't, I will call for backup and you'll do no good from behind the door of a holding cell." 

Backing up a step, Carson winces as a sharp pain shoots through his chest. This was all such an incredible mess. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. It just wasn't. Swallowing hard, he finally turns around. He didn't want to be hauled in. Jason was right - getting in trouble was no way to help the situation. There was too much at risk. But...

Stepping off the porch, he looks over his shoulder one last time. Misty was only feet away... and he couldn't even see her. Hanging his head, he trudges to his car and finally leaves. 

Jason makes sure the car is out of sight before he shuts and locks the door again. Sighing deeply, he takes a moment to regroup, giving Trooper a pat on the head before he returns to the living room. He was angry, upset, sad... and he didn't know what to do. He was stuck in the middle, letting Misty have his heart while her husband was trying to come back. Had all of this been a mistake? One look at Misty reminded him why he was here. She needed someone. Whether for another week or forever, Jason knew he couldn't leave her - not like this. Not unless she wanted Carson back, and it was obvious that she didn't. 

Easing down on the couch, he sets his gun aside before leaning over and giving Misty's cheek a kiss. Even if he wanted to talk through what had just happened, he knew her well enough to know that she'd rather let things be for a while. "Okay, so... where were we?" 

Alec picks up on the hunt to ignore the interruption, and he scoffs. "I was winning, that's where we were." Somewhere deep down though, he felt a strange new sensation of pity for his brother. This whole scene was all too familiar - but he'd been the one banging on the door, begging to see the one he loved. And today... he still loved her. Was Carson's heart pure? He just didn't know. But he didn't like seeing Misty upset, so he'd remain still and just be here for whatever she needed. And right now, it was good to have an extra pair of eyes here at the house. 

Looking over his hand of cards, he nods. "Yeah... you two might as well give up now."

"...So how do you keep this place running anyway?" Hunter leans on the pasture fence chewing on a long stem of grass. He and Mick had just finished up the last of the barn chores after supper in the dining hall and were about ready to call it a night. Well, at least Mick was. Hunter was planning on returning to the scene of action for a card game with Clint, Jeff, Jade, Dan, and whoever else dared to challenge the crazy bunch. 

Mick rests his arms on the top rail and looks to where the sun had disappeared below the horizon a while ago, leaving strips of bright orange and pink. "What do you mean?"

"Well... financially. You've got enough help around here to keep things running but... how does it stay afloat?" 

"A little sweat and a lot of faith." Mick chuckles. His eyes study the clouds while a sigh escapes. "It's not as easy as it used to be," he admits. "I'll blame the economy for that. We used to have clients here constantly. Now they trickle in one or two at a time. I think a lot of it is because we're so far out. Gas prices rise and people can't afford to come here. We haven't raised our prices, but we can't lower them either." He shrugs. "I still give riding lessons - that helps. We wheel and deal with horses. Mainly buying then selling at a profit. That helps. We have the auto shop - although Clint has been more bored than busy lately." 

Hunter nods slowly. "I was kinda surprised to see the shop here at all. I mean, an hour away from town, people really bring their vehicles here?"

"Used to. Mainly nearby ranchers or travelers, but we'd get some business from town too. But... last couple years as gas prices have gone up, we've lost a lot of business."

"Somebody said you used to have more hired help too."

"Mm-hmm. Used to have a handful of ranch hands. Now though, most of it's just the family and a few others."

"Like Dan?"

Mick chuckles. "Well, he's about as close as you can get to being a family member, but he started out as an extra hand, yeah." 

Hunter grins. He knew Dan and Jade were engaged, but regardless, the man was treated as part of the family, no doubt. "You get donations and stuff too, right?"

"Yeah. Again, not as much as we used to, mostly because we have fewer clients. But, we do have a few particular individuals who believe in our work and who regularly support us as they can. We haven't qualified for any grants the last couple years though so... things have been tight." 

"What..." Hunter bites his lip, feeling he'd asked too much already. But Mick's raised eyebrows prompts him to continue. "What happens if finances don't get any better?" 

"Well... that's a good question. Right now, we're riding on a lot of faith. But there is more we can do. We could sell off more of our stock - that would give us fewer horse mouths to feed. We could pursue taking on more riding students. Eric's been talking about doing a little more truck driving - that makes a pretty penny on long runs."

Hunter nods thoughtfully. "I keep hearing about people you've helped..."

Mick tilts his hat back on his head and turns around to gaze over the ranch yard that was bathed in the dim light of dusk. "Many people were helped before I even got here. I was gone from here for many years - my return was relatively recent when thinking of how long this family has been linked together. It's mainly due to Rosetta's hard work and love for people. She's counseled many people here. The rest of us have learned and also been taught how to handle people and help them deal with life. Sometimes we've had people who need a lot of help and their family brings them and they stay for several months. We've had people who just need to come and take a break." He gives Hunter a sidelong glance. 

Hunter bites his lip but a small grin does emerge. 

"Sometimes we've had troubled kids here who just need love to get them back on the right track... Like Katie."

Hunter quirks an eyebrow. "She told me a little about being unhappy at home and coming to live here, but I guess I don't know the details."

"I guess that would be a story for her to tell." Mick's eyes twinkle. "And if I'm not mistaken, you two will have quite enough time together for many stories." 

Hunter chuckles and lets his eyes wander over the pasture. "Yeah... I hope so." 

"Hope?" 

"Mm..." Hunter shrugs. 

Sensing something odd in Hunter's tone, Mick cocks his head. "You don't sound so sure. Things alright with you and Katie?"

"Oh yeah, they're great. Just... thinking about when I go back... how things will be."

"Well how do you think they will be?"

"I dunno." Hunter looks down, picking at a splinter on the fence rail. "That whole thing with Jason just never has set right with me, I guess." 

Mick isn't quite sure he understands, but he starts to get the picture. "You... think Katie still loves him, don't you?" 

It takes Hunter several seconds to answer. "Yeah. I don't know why. She hasn't said anything and she's dying for me to get back home. It's just... this thing in my gut, I... I don't know." He shrugs lamely. "It's probably just my imagination."

Mick gives Hunter's shoulder a pat. "A woman's heart is like a storm. You can fight it all you want, but you're always at its mercy." 

Hunter gives him a wry grin. "That's reassuring." 

Mick laughs softly. "Ride it out, Hunter... just ride it out."

To: Katie

From: Hunter

Ive missed u all day long. It seems

strange... I feel like I have become

a part of this ranch. Yet I am 

longing to return to NV so I can 

see u. 

Hunter lies back on his bed, wincing a little as he turns his leg. It was late - quite late after the card game. But he still felt wide awake. Katie was probably in bed, but... he just wanted to send her a text anyway.

I hope ur day has been a good one.

Pretend I have given u a goodnight

hug and kiss. You'll get a real one

soon. ;) Its one day closer to me
getting on my bike. :)  
 

It was raining a steady rain that had been coming down since early morning. The scent of wet earth permeated the air, spreading a clinging dampness. 

"...He knew you were coming, but I could not get him to stay in the house." Lydia guides Grace through the house to the back door. "He did not want my help. He was very quiet and I was worried about him. Now I am worried he will get sick but he will not come inside and I can't move him by myself." 

On the back deck was an empty wheelchair by the steps. And down the steps and into the yard several feet sat Jared, fully clothed and soaking wet, sitting in the grass with his back to the house as the rain continued to pour. 

Lydia looks to Grace with worry. "He made it without help, but I am afraid he is going to hurt himself."