Nothing Left

Jared is a little surprised when Grace puts her arm around him but... it felt good. She was warm and comforting and... she made him feel safe when he felt so far from where he knew he needed to be... so lost. 

Her words made sense. It was almost as if his soul needed the same healing his legs did. It made it easier to understand, but not any easier to accomplish. Would he walk again? Would he feel again? Would he live again? He'd felt so good before remembering his life. Would he be able to gain back that sense of freedom and wonder as he'd discovered "new" things? 

Without moving his head, his eyes glance down as he feels Grace's fingers run along his arm and down to his fingers. Her touch was light and it sent a tingle through his hand. Closing his eyes, he lets his own fingers curl around hers. More tears mingle with the rain, the only sign of his emotions was his inconsistent breathing or an occasional sniff. Could such a terrible person like him ever really heal? 

"I lied a lot..." The statement came out of nowhere, his voice but a whimper. "I lied in my job all the time. I even got people fired so I could climb the ladder or get the jobs everybody wanted." He swallows hard, recalling all of his dirty dealings with executives, bribing or blackmailing his way to the top - whatever it took for him to keep on traveling, earning more money than he needed, and driving the cars he wanted. 

"It didn't matter who got in the way." He pauses again, leaving his eyes closed. His thumb runs along Grace's hand absentmindedly. "Mary was a good hard worker. She had three kids. Her husband was dead. And she was chosen for a trip I wanted. Whoever closed the deal would get a nice bonus. She needed to feed her kids. I wanted a new car." His face contorts into a cringe. "I started a rumor about her that got her fired within a week. I got the trip. Closed the deal. Got my new car. I saw Mary again just once after that... she was a waitress at a dump of a diner."

Letting out a ragged sigh, he shakes his head. "What's worse is I didn't care. And she wasn't the only one I did things like that to. It just... never mattered." 

The rain continues to pour down, washing away his tears as they came. "And the women..." His grip on Grace's hand tightens. She should hate a man like him... fear him... loathe him. "Every town I went, I either had someone there already, or found someone new. I'd wine and dine whoever I wanted, if it would get me back to her hotel room or apartment for the night. Whether they were married or not... experienced or naive... wanting a good time or completely innocent..." His voice cracks. "I robbed her of so much..."

It was apparent now that he was thinking of some girl in particular. "She didn't know what I wanted. She just thought I was a nice guy. She thought I really cared. And the next day when she showed up at the conference looking for me, I denied even knowing her." 

Opening his eyes, Jared stares dimly through the rain, wishing it would wash away his memory again so he wouldn't have to remember these horrible things. There was more - so much more. Lie upon lie, woman after woman, cheating over and over, dirty pool without batting an eye, constant conniving, and none of that even included what he'd done to his own brother and mother. It was no wonder Justin hated him. 

"My only reason for coming here was to tear my mother and brother apart." He tries to swallow the lump in his throat, but it just wouldn't go away. "That was it. There was a deal going down here, and I was going to stick around - still travel for the company but keep this one of my home bases. But my single reason for staying in this house was to cause Justin pain. And it worked." He scoffs. "I did a beautiful job. I saw him suffer and I enjoyed it." 

He blinks away some rain and shivers as a breeze comes through the yard. He'd been out here for a long time before Grace had shown up, and he was soaked to the bone, starting to get cold. His legs were stiff from sitting so long and his muscles ached. But he just didn't care. 

"I wanted for you to get to know me better," he confesses quietly between shivers. "But I realized that... that there's nothing to tell except bad stuff. The rain can't wash it away... 'cause if it washes away the bad, there's... there's nothing left."


To: Katie
From: Hunter
LOL - Clint's already jealous the way it
is. I told him he needs to come out to NV
and ride a race with me. He said Wendy
would kill him but hes tempted. lol

To: Katie
From: Hunter
No worries. I won't push it with my knee.
Promise. :)


After the card games were over, Alec had left the room to wash dishes for Misty then take a shower, leaving Jason alone with Misty for just a little while. Sitting back on the couch with his arm around her, his hand gently rubs her shoulder and he turns to give her forehead a kiss. 

It had been a stressful night, even though they'd avoided talk of what had happened. Carson's presence alone had made the atmosphere unbearably tense. Jason and Alec had exchanged glances several times, but neither knew quite what they could do for Misty. Both felt helpless. Alec's offer to do the dishes felt like a feeble attempt to give her some rest, while Jason just wanted to give her the hug she deserved. 

"I worry about you," he admits softly. He wanted to offer to stay by her side all night, but he knew he couldn't. With the couch as Alec's bed, that left the bedroom, and Jason knew that wasn't a good idea. He just wanted to help... wanted to make Misty feel better...

"I don't work tomorrow... wanna call in and you and I run up to the lake for the day?"