Seeing Ryan, Eli couldn't help a bit of a smile. "You look nice." He meant it. It was rare that Ryan would dress up for any occasion, but when she did, she always looked good.
The ride to the cemetery was quiet, and Eli left Ryan with her own thoughts, and himself with his own. There wasn't much to say anyway... a part of their life had ended, and they would move on. It's just the way the world worked.
Once at the cemetery, Eli walked with his sister to where there were chairs set up for just a small gathering. There weren't a whole lot of people there...which wasn't surprising. Alec hadn't really had a broad social life aside from close family and a few friends. That was about it, in addition to a handful of Elite agents who came more out of respect than friendship.
Arriving with Misty, Jason's heart still hurt. More for her than anyone, and he wished he could just make it all better. He wished all the pain would just go away. Why did things like this have to happen? And why now? Not that any time would have been good, but with all Misty had ever been through, it just felt even more unfair.
He gave Misty an encouraging nod before they headed to where the other people where, and found them both seats. Maybe things had been strained between them, but he chose to sit next to her anyway - as the friend he would always try to be. There was a strange tension because of Carson's presence, but it couldn't be helped, and no one would forfeit being there just to avoid that awkwardness - Jason included.
Mackenzie settled in near Misty, daring to throw her a couple glances, though a smile didn't appear. She missed seeing Misty and hadn't seen her at all lately. She'd been told what had happened, and knew now there would be no baby brother or sister. It had hurt, and now she'd lost her uncle, too.
Her gaze dropped, and she paid little attention when Justin sat next to her. Some girls her age might rely on him for a hug or a shoulder to rest her head on. But she would remain reserved and withdrawn - it was the way she'd taught herself to survive.
"Hey." Gage had quietly come up behind Sapphire to lay a hand on her shoulder. This whole atmosphere felt strange to him. Many people were here not because they'd been close to Alec, but simply because they respected his last act. For Gage, it was a little of both. He hadn't been great friends with Alec, but they'd gotten along okay as of late, and Gage would never forget that it was Alec who had gotten him his job in the first place. Alec had had a good heart, despite his many mistakes.
Gage's hand slid down to find Sapphire's. "Figured I'd sit with you, if that's okay..."
“...I guess it’s only natural that I’d be asked to say a few words.” Carson hooked his hands in his pockets as his eyes lowered to the small marker in the fresh, green grass. Though the sun was shining and a light breeze blew, there seemed to be little peace.
“Problem is…I really don’t know what to say. I was up half the night and yet I find myself lacking the right words.” He looked back up and caught a few glances of those who were there. Dani…Misty…Eli and Ryan…Justin.
“Alec and I didn’t always see eye-to-eye.” A slight grin emerged. “But we were brothers. Maybe I only recently started to appreciate that. And…I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate it sooner, because he was a good man. He struggled like the rest of us. Maybe more in some ways. But in the end, he followed his heart. Maybe it was foolhardy. But he acted out of love.”
Carson’s gaze lingered on Misty for but a short moment before he moved on. “I wish I knew if I could take comfort, knowing I’d see Alec again. Knowing he was at peace. But I gotta be honest…I don’t know either of those. And I feel partly to blame. I was introduced to God by people who weren’t willing to give up on me when I was struggling. I discovered the most important things in life through them. Yet I neglected to encourage my brother in such a way.”
Though his emotions churned, he controlled them well, not allowing his voice to waver. “I don’t know where he was with the Lord, and all I can do is hope that he was met with mercy when he died. But I can’t dwell on the unanswered questions. All I can do is know that Alec’s death was not in vain. He gave his life because he valued others more than himself. That kind of act can’t save a person’s soul. But it can bring some small comfort to know that at the very least, his courage will live on through the rest of us. He wouldn’t have wanted us to think of him in misery, but in happiness and gratefulness for who he was to all of us. I think we can all take something from his sacrifice…those we love are more important than life itself.”
It didn’t seem to be enough, but it’s all Carson had. Letting it go at that, he moved to the side to allow the minister to take over. He walked a few steps and scanned the chairs to find Mackenzie’s hopeful eyes. The empty seat was right next to Misty…but it was the only logical place for him to sit. He’d do his best not to make her uncomfortable.
Slipping in to the empty space, he put his arm around Mackenzie to give her a little squeeze. And to his left was Misty…and it took all he had not to at least look at her. But as he gazed ahead at the minister, a silent tear rolled down his cheek. Oh, how he hurt.
"Mmm...yeah, everything's okay." Eric looked to Stacy and offered a tired smile. "Other than being plum tuckered out," he admitted.
Shifting around a little, he let Stacy tuck in closer next to him so he could put his arm around her. "Just thinking, is all. Didn't used to bother me... the long runs, I mean. Being gone a month at a time wasn't anything. But now..." He sighed. "Now I'm not sure it's what I should be doing. But it's good money - money this ranch needs. But knowing how Ashlee feels...I don't want to be gone so much that I lose what I've got with her..." He paused and glanced down to Stacy's face. "...or with you, for that matter... I just...don't know where to go from here."
7/22/15
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