Eventually

Another sigh surfaces and Jason sets his sub aside. Friends? Could they really even get back to that point again? 

"I don't hate you Katie," he answers quietly. "I never did. I'm just... hurt. And I'm trying really hard not to be bitter. Having you back is harder than I thought it would be. I don't know what to say or how to act anymore. It's like walking on pins and needles and... I just don't know if that's gonna change or not." 

He knew that's not what she wanted to hear, but what else could he say? He couldn't lie and tell her it would all be just fine. He didn't know if it would be or not. 

"We... shared something special... something more than friends, and more than being boyfriend and girlfriend. We shared... each other's souls. Our thoughts. Our emotions. We were intimate in ways that no one else could ever understand. And after all that... to have it wiped out and torn to pieces... to say 'hey, lets be friends' is... well it feels a little harder than that to me."

Searching Katie's eyes, he sees her tears, and his heart hurts a little bit more. "But... it would seem a worthy goal," he relents. "I don't want our jobs to be a nightmare because of the tension between us. We were just friends once a long time ago... I'm sure we can pull it off again eventually." 

Dear Chad,

Your letter, as usual, brought a smile to my lips. I never knew a man who could write such nice words, let alone legibly - you have mastered both skills quite well. 

As I write, I'm sitting under our apple tree. It was too nice of a day to stay cooped up inside, and I was able to find the quiet privacy I wanted here. If I close my eyes and try very hard, I can imagine I am sitting here with you. But I miss the warmth of your arms around me. 

Leaning her head back against the bark, Rosalyn sighs and closes her eyes. Chad's most recent letter had more than confirmed that he wanted to continue writing, and that his intentions were for more than that too, if it would somehow work. The thought created a strange new sense of fear, yet it also filled Rosalyn's stomach with butterflies. While good sense told her that perhaps she shouldn't avidly pursue this, she couldn't help but write him back. He had come out of nowhere, swept her off her feet, and made her feel so very good... how could she ignore that?

Looking back down at the paper her pen hovers over the next line. In all reality though... she needed to be fair. There was more than one reason a man might not want to actually get involved with her.

You flatter me with your intentions. I wonder what it would be like if we were not separated by miles. Perhaps it would be sweeter. Or perhaps you would quickly grow bored of me and realize the ocean was still your first love. 

If, though, you do indeed intent to pursue me, then there are some things you must know. I am sure you have put a few pieces together - perhaps you have gleaned a little bit of information from Katie as well. In the end though, the bottom line is that my family is not a safe family to get involved with. You see, for many years, we have been hunted. I'm sure this will sound like a fantastically fabricated tale, but you must believe me. There is an illegal organization that has tried to control both the Henson and Pent families since the older generation were mere children. This organization is called the Agency and it has harmed us in many ways for a very long time. They are the reason I grew up without knowing my father - he feared for my family's safety and therefore he and my mother remained separated until they felt it safe once again. The Agency is also the reason that my parents gave up my younger brother, Ty, for adoption when he was a baby - for his safety. Clint and I grew up under the impression that Ty had died, and only recently did we find out the truth. 

Most others in our two families have been affected in one way or another by the Agency - and none of it is good. We are always watching the horizon. We trust no strangers. We wait - living not in fear, but in constant caution. Even while you were here, security cameras held you in their sights most of the time. Many have died going up against the Agency. It is nothing to be joked about or taken lightly. 

You may or may not believe the severity of this issue. Were I to have enough paper I would write you page after page of stories of how the Agency had almost ruined my family time and time again. How they have almost destroyed most everyone here at the ranch. There is so much that I could tell you - want to tell you - but one letter is hardly enough. I have been sheltered from direct danger, but that does not remove the fact that I am a marked woman by my name alone. I am James Henson's daughter - that is enough for me to be the Agency's prey. 

If you can still desire to have my heart after knowing this, then I will have no choice but to accept your letters and beloved poems, for it will prove to me the purity of your heart. But if you choose to step aside now to avoid any undo misfortunes, I will not blame you nor think badly of you. I will simply cherish what we've had, and rest assured that you are somewhere out of harm's way. 

I do not want to end this letter on a sad note though, for fear of this special place under our tree becoming something less than happy. So I will close now. And tonight, my eyes will be on the moon once more.

Rosalyn