Watching Katie walk away, Eric gets the funny feeling that he'd just made the second mistake for the day. Were his niece and Jason so much at odds that she was upset even to know he'd called? Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.
Feeling badly, he turns around to go back into the barn and put the leadrope away where it belonged. Ashlee had been helping him most of the day, aside from her riding lesson, and she'd really given him a bright day. She was a quick learner and Eric planned on taking her out on the trail soon for the fun of it to give her a taste of riding outside the fence. At least he could feel good about that... he'd try and see if Katie was smiling later, and if not, he'd try and fix that.
Deciding he should clean up before supper, he wanders towards the bunkhouses, spotting Stacy heading for the mess hall. Taking a detour, he comes up behind her, slipping his arms up and around her shoulders in a hug from behind, stopping her in her tracks. Grinning, he snakes his head around to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Save me a seat at supper?"
Yawning, Hunter sits on the edge of his bed to put his shoes on after he'd washed up. Despite his nap, the day was apparently catching up to him. He still had in mind to see if there was anything he could help with in the barn after supper though.
Glancing at the clock, he wonders if he should head over to the dining hall or wait or...
Shrugging, he heads outside and takes a look around. Ambling down to Katie's bunkhouse, he didn't know if she was here or already at the main building or somewhere else, but he might as well check here first. He still felt just a little lost around here without her.
Stepping up on the porch, he gives the door a light knock with his knuckles. "Katie?"
Leaning against the counter, Alec's eyes drop and remain glued to his plate while Misty talks. He'd never broken her trust? He'd broken everybody's trust - didn't she see that? He might not have done anything to her directly, but he'd sure done enough to others that she knew. Why didn't she take it personally?
He picks a piece of pepperoni off a slice of pizza and chews it slowly, although his depressed mood was making it hard to eat, no matter how hungry he was.
Reminded of the Agency, his heart sinks a little. She was right about them... about what they did. Alec had been given a false sense of power while involved with them, but at the time, it had felt anything but false. Yet there had always been a feeling of hopelessness somehow intertwined in there too. No one got into the Agency without some amount of damage to the mind and heart. But it was never seen until one tried to get out. The Agency itself was like a habit-forming drug, always trying to pull its victims back in again.
Was he really learning? Was he really doing the right things now? Was he really deserving of getting the chance Misty was giving him?
The hot tears that had been building behind his eyes start to sting. He wanted to thank Misty. He wanted tell her she was right and he appreciated everything she was doing for him. He wanted to make sure she knew he wasn't ungrateful. But with the threat of breaking down right in front of her, he couldn't find the words.
"Thank you." His voice was almost a whisper. "I'll stay."
Still having not looked up once, he takes his plate and trudges to the living room, sitting down on the couch. Setting his plate on the coffee table, he takes a bite of pizza, only to feel a tear finally trickle down his cheek.
Swiping it away with his palm, it's only followed by another, and he despises it. Managing to chew and swallow his bite, he rubs his eyes, trying to will the tears to stop. But it wasn't easy - not with the roller coaster ride his emotions had been on all day. Feeling so out of control with this thing, it made him feel weak... like a loser. He'd taken Misty's words to heart. He appreciated what she'd said. He did want to stay here - more than anything. Why couldn't he just say so? Why did he feel like this? Why did he feel like a little boy that just wanted to curl up and cry? He hated it. And he hated it that he'd so rudely walked away from Misty in order to hide himself. Why couldn't anything just make sense?
No comments:
Post a Comment