3/3/11

Wrestling

"Ouch!" Eli flinches as he receives Ryan's whack. He rubs the back of his head and looks up at her with annoyance, but a sheepishness that revealed he knew he deserved it.

Her change of tone and smile though, throw him off and his expression grows slightly confused. And when she mentions Tal, his eyes go wide and his mouth hangs open. Catching movement by the hallway, his eyes dart in that direction.

Tal's entrance is less than elegant, for by now, he'd started to laugh so hard, he could barely move. Leaning back against the wall, he holds his sides as he laughs and he shakes his head. "That was... brilliant."

"Brilliant?!" Eli stands up and looks between Tal and his sister and back again. "You mean to tell me this whole thing was a setup?"

Tal tries to calm himself and breathe. "Only after I did go and make a fool of myself, thanks to you."

Eli blinks and finally sets his hands on his hips. Though his eyes narrow, they start to twinkle with something that gave away he was beginning to find humor in this now too. Glancing to his sister, he gives her shoulder a shove before sauntering over to Tal and giving him a deliberate once-over. "Think you're pretty funny, tough guy, eh?"

Tal bites his lip and nods. "Actually I... think I do."

"Leaving me alone in the shop, thinking that I completely destroyed a good friendship."

"You were the one that let me think I'd done something wrong."

"So?" Eli steps closer. "You two hardly know each other and you're already a dangerous team." He glances back at Ryan then returns to Tal. "Eliminating one of you is only fair." Grabbing Tal in a sloppy chokehold, he starts to drag him towards the door.

Tal lets out a shout and chokes on a laugh as he's dragged along. Planting his feet, he manages to wriggle out of Eli's grasp, and the wrestling match begins. It really wasn't clear who tripped first, but somehow both men wind up on the floor, first Eli on top, then Tal, then back again as they grappled. Both were out of breath and laughing but neither one was going to give up.

"Ryan!" Eli tries to breathe as he looks up at Tal from his back. "Call off your boyfriend!"

Tal's eyes widen and his shock is his downfall as he gives Eli too much slack and winds up on the bottom again with his face planted on the carpet. "I even brought your t-shirt back to you!"

"Ah yes, the infamous..." Eli's words are lost as he gets flipped over and pinned.

"Infamous." Tal laughs as he struggles to keep the upper hand. "Bet you wish you woulda let me go home early, eh?"

"What? And miss all this?" Another swift move and Eli is back on top.

"Help!" Tal starts to laugh again as he calls out to Ryan. "Your brother weighs a ton!"


"So tell me about Yvette."

Alec spins on his heel as he paces in the small room and throws Justin a less-than-pleased look. "Off limits."

Justin quirks an eyebrow. After finally getting Alec to talk to Reese, sessions had been pretty frustrating and he was having a hard time getting into Alec's inner thoughts - but right now, he'd obviously struck a chord. "What - you think you got something I haven't heard before?"

"I wouldn't want to shock you."

"Try me."

Alec rolls his eyes. "What do you care about Yvette anyway? What difference does it make?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm just wondering why you'd ditch your girlfriend for her." Justin straddles his chair backwards and leans his elbows on the backrest. "Seems a little out of character."

"Then you don't know me very well."

Justin cocks his head. "The guy that helped me with Scott... isn't who I'm seeing today."

Alec sets his hands on his hips and looks up at the ceiling for a moment. "What do you want, Justin? Why are you even here?"

"Because I want to help you."

"Help me what?"

"Cope."

"With what? Getting shot? Getting dragged back here against my will? Being interrogated? Being thrown into a little cell with the only future as one behind bars?"

"Nah... more like... cope with yourself."

Alec scoffs. "That's a bunch of crap."

"Well if all it is, is crap, then what's the problem? Humor me."

"I don't do humor." Alec wanders in circles for a few more moments, only to see Justin still staring at him. "Alright, fine. Yvette... is an old colleague. We already knew each other... this time, it just so happened we got hooked up again."

"Mm-hmm. So when you say 'colleague,' what exactly do you mean?"

Alec throws him another look. "You got an imagination - use it."

"Okay, so you two had a relationship. So when you two got together this last time, Ryan just went out the window, huh?"

Alec flops down on the cot, growing weary. Each time Justin came, it felt like someone was taking a pickax to the wall around his heart - it wasn't comfortable, but ironically, the more that was torn down, the harder it became to resist just giving in and tearing down the wall himself. Today was no different, and Justin had intentionally brought up a subject that would bother him. And yet... he really had no defense on this one, and he was tired of fighting. "Every time I..." He stops and chooses different words. "Every time Yvette and I... when we were together... All I could think about was Ryan."

"You imagined her?"

"Not like that." Alec swings his gaze around, a disgusted look on his face. "I'm not that perverted."

Justin shrugs. "Then what were you thinking about her?"

Alec chews on the inside of his lip. "It's private."

"Okay." Justin makes a note. "But you're the one who said you weren't perverted."

Alec shoots him a glare. "I hate myself enough the way it is. Why do you insist on making it harder?"

"Who's making it harder? Me or you?"

It didn't seem like a fair question. Alec rubs his sore shoulder. "I thought about Ryan... and how she must feel with me walking out on her. I pictured the look on her face right before I'd kiss her and how I would feel like I never wanted to let her go. I thought about the damage I was doing and how I'd never be able to hold her again."

Justin looks at him thoughtfully. "So why did you give in to Yvette? It doesn't make sense."

"It does if your life depends on it... and the lives of the people you actually care about. If I hadn't slept with Yvette, she would have known something wasn't right. I had a bad reputation in the Agency...it's just... a given when you're there. No one's faithful to anybody. If I would have resisted, Yvette would have known immediately that something was wrong. She would have blown the whistle, and right about now my friends and family would be dead."

Justin sighs deeply. "But you still feel guilty."

Alec swallows hard. "I felt guilty every time I got near her. I still feel like I need a scalding shower."

Justin couldn't relate, but he did have an understanding and he felt badly for Alec. "Well, we know that won't help. Do you think you could have handled things differently?"

"I don't know. Everybody else seems to think so."

"But at the time, you felt what you did was best?"

Alec shrugs. "I had to think fast. It was all I could come up with and it was the only thing I figured would save lives."

"But do you think it was best?"

"I don't know anymore. The best decision I made was to walk in front of a bullet." Alec glances at Justin with displeasure. "But no one would even let me have that."

The tone had shifted - the open door was gone. Justin leaves the subject of Yvette and Ryan be for now. "Suicide is never the way, Alec. You know that."

"Do I?"

"Keep talking like that and they'll put you in a hospital."

"Maybe I deserve it."

Justin stands up. "I think we're done for today."

Alec scoffs. "You like to walk away, don't you?"

"On bad attitudes? Yeah, I do. Bad for my health." Justin gets to the door but turns once more. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alec. In the meantime, think about how it would feel to forgive yourself."

Forgive himself? Alec scoffs as he's left alone. Forgive himself for what? That was a ridiculous statement. Everything he did, he wanted to. So he thought about Ryan... so what? He still wouldn't change anything he did. It was his choice and he would have chosen to stay with the Agency. He'd wanted to. It's what he'd wanted. Yes... what he wanted. So why couldn't he get rid of this irritating guilt complex that haunted him day in and day out?

No comments:

Post a Comment