Please stop

Amidst the mess in her office, the phone ringing makes Susanne jump. Did no one call during work hours anymore? No wonder Reese went home - he wanted to escape all the calls and let her deal with them.

She sighs and answers the phone hastily, not wanting to forget where she was at with this record keeping. Hearing Chuck's voice though, everything is forgotten anyway. Work completely flew her mind and she barely saw the stacks of papers around her anymore.

"Chuck. I... I didn't expect to hear from you... um... tonight." Had she? She knew he'd be calling again sometime. But right now? He had to choose tonight? "I... I don't know. I'm still at work and... have... more work."

Susanne swallows hard and fumbles for her purse. Her face reddens at his poetic words and she could feel her defenses weakening. How did he do that? No matter. She was ready this time. She didn't have to try and think of something to say and fumble over her words like she always did. She had to tell Chuck what she wanted to say and be done with it.

Finally finding the little piece of paper she'd stuffed in her purse earlier, she unfolds it to see her own scribbled handwriting. Reading it aloud would be much easier than trying to think of something off the top of her head.

"Chuck, I...I'm sorry. But I just don't think this is going to work. I don't know enough about you and I don't have time for a relationship. I'm asking you now to stop pursuing me. I can't go on any more dates with you. I'm sorry - it's just not going to work, so please stop calling me."

Only after hanging up on him, does Susanne realize that she hadn't even said goodbye. Her hand trembled slightly and she felt an odd mix of emotions trying to surface. Rising from her desk, she makes her way to the ladies bathroom. She splashes some cold water on her face but as she looks up in the mirror, the tears finally well in her eyes. She'd just told off the only man that had ever paid any attention to her. And because of what? Fear? Darlene? She was probably just jealous anyway. No... no, it had been the right thing to do. Susanne just couldn't handle it right now. Chuck was nice, but Darlene was right - what did she really know about him? One look and... and... and....

Susanne just leans over the sink and cries. One look and she fell to pieces, that's what. One look and her heart took on a mind of its own. One look and her knees felt like jelly. And everything she felt with one look scared her half to death. She could face criminals, defend herself on the street, tell off the smart mouths and even manipulate herself into a date to teach her friends a lesson. But when it came to this... when it came to feeling things she'd never felt before... it was a whole new ballgame, and she felt as if she had no control.

Sniffing and drawing in a shaky breath, she tries to compose herself. Washing her face and drying her eyes, she fixes her hair, making sure it was all put back into the clip at the nape of her neck. Fixing her makeup to make herself feel better, she finally goes back to her office and the mess she needed to keep working on. She didn't feel much like eating her leftovers now.