I Can't

Each of Grace's words brings Jared's gaze down a little lower. Though he wanted to interrupt, he refrained. He was tired, upset, hurt, and he felt sick. This whole thing was just a nightmare. He felt sick. He wanted to scream but didn't have the words. He wanted to force Grace to leave, but he didn't want to be alone. He wanted to get up and run, but he couldn't even walk.

"Yes, everybody would be better off without me!" He raises his voice but refuses to look at her. "And don't talk to me about God! I walked away from Him a long time ago and there's no going back. There's no reason for me to live! Don't you understand?" 

He scrunches his eyes shut tightly. "You don't know.... you don't know what I've done. The person I am... I can't forget, I just.... I can't... I... what I've..."

Suddenly too overcome to maintain control, a barrage of tears surface. Covering his face with his hands, Jared bends forward, his shoulders shaking. "Go away..." His words are broken and muffled as he cries. "I don't... I don't want to hurt you.... please.... just go away."