All I Can

Being helped to sit up, Jared bites his tongue to keep from laughing. Perhaps he felt sillier as a cover-up from any embarrassment. Leaning back against the tree so he doesn't fall over from lack of leverage from his legs, he shakes his head. "I'm not coming along that good... you didn't let me stay." 

A wry grin twitches on his lips, and he knows he better put on the brakes lest he really get slapped. Clearing his throat, he looks around and plucks a blade of grass, holding it between his fingers. "I wonder how long it's been since I enjoyed the feeling of grass," he muses. Lifting his eyebrows, he chuckles. "And that was a rather stupid statement. Although apparently that's a knack of mine this morning. Stupid statements. Grace, tell me to shut up before I really make a fool of myself." 

"Yes, no news is good news," Hunter agrees as he walks alongside Katie. "And by the way... if you really thought I'd be scared off, I'm gonna have to work harder at giving you a better impression of me." 

Glancing to his side, he gives her a smile. Realizing she'd led them to the dining room, he holds the door open for her. "After you, Melady... and then tell me what the days is gonna look like." 

Jay sighs, shaking his head as he leans back against the wall. "Stupid," he mutters under his breath. "I thought he knew better than all that. And if it's my fault for what I told him, I'm... I'm sorry."

Rubbing tired hands over his face, he gives Rosetta an apologetic look. "Give me a few minutes, will ya? I'm gonna go talk to him, even if I do have to wake him up."

"Jeff..." Jay lays a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Hmm?" Jeff groggily opens his eyes and blinks, his mind rather foggy.

"Hey, Bro."

Realizing who it was, Jeff rolls his eyes. "Who called you?" he mumbles.

"Family," Jay states flatly. Shaking his head, he pulls a chair close to the bed and eases down to sit. "Came to see you on your death bed."

Jeff grunts. "Then you came to the wrong place. People around here wouldn't let me die if I paid 'em a million bucks."

"So that's what you've got? A death wish?"

"What else have I got?"

"A family that loves you very much." Jay says nothing more until Jeff turns to look at him. "We're all worried about you, Jeff. Now what's going on?"

"I got a bad heart. What more do you want?" Jeff pulls himself up a little. "Not my fault it decided to give out."

"Maybe not. But from what I hear, you're not exactly trying to keep it from giving out either."

Jeff shrugs. "So?"

"So you're killing yourself!" Jay stops, reminding himself to keep his tone down. "Look... I just want to know what's really going on here. This isn't like you."

Jeff picks at the hem of the bedsheet before throwing a glare at his brother. "I'm fine. I'm still alive. You've seen it for yourself. Now you can leave."

Jay's eyes narrow. "I drove half the night to come down here. You're stuck with me for longer than five minutes. Now...." He sits back and folds his arms. "Someone tells me that perhaps something I said to you while you were visiting has got you all feeling like you're worthless. That true?"

Jeff shrugs again. "I dunno."

"Well... regardless, I'm sorry."

Jeff's eyes move back to his brother curiously. "Why?"

"Because I shouldn't have called you down like I did."

"I thought I embarrassed you."

"You did. But... maybe that's just 'cause none of the rest of us have the guts to be as outgoing as you."

Jeff isn't sure what to think as he studies his brother. "I don't understand."

"You think you're weak. You think you can't offer anybody anything. The truth of the matter is, you've got something the rest of us don't."

"What's that?"

"Life." Jay smiles a little. "You have loved life since I can remember. No matter how sick you got, no matter what happened, you still loved life and you were never afraid to show it."

Jeff swallows hard. "I still embarrassed you and your family. How many other people have I-"

"The only people you've embarrassed are the ones that don't know how to live life like they should."

"That... includes you, ya know."

"I know it does. And I'm admitting it. So sometimes I think you should tone down your silliness. So when we're in public, sometimes I think you shouldn't kid around so much. But that's only because I'm not as brave as you to not be so stuffy that I forget life's about more than being serious all the time." 

Jeff really wasn't sure if Jay was being serious or if he was just using nice words to get him to feel better. "I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll stop this stupid nonsense of trying to prove something. You have nothing to prove, Jeff. I know life's been hard, I know you wanna do more than you can, but if you're gonna live any longer, you need to stop all this and... and go back to being the brother and uncle and father we all know and love."

Jeff swallows hard and eyes his bedsheets again. "Katie said I'm selfish for not taking care of myself."

"I suppose there's truth in that. She's selfish too though."

"What?"

"She wants to keep you around. She doesn't want to lose you. I guess we're all being selfish. You'll just have to forgive us for not wanting to give up one of our family members."

Jeff sighs deeply. "I'm tired, Jay... I'm tired of not doing what I want. I'm tired of having to watch everything I do to not overdo it. I'm tired of having Angel watching me like a hawk."

"So forgive us for caring. Look... I'm not trying to say I know how it feels, and I'm not trying to say it's easy because I know it's not. But you have so much more to offer than a healthy body. Out of us four brothers, your heart's the biggest, I guarantee. And whether any of us want to admit it or not, you're the example we know we should look up to." Jay nods solemnly. "I was wrong to be embarrassed. To tell you the truth, Josh got mad at me for chiding you - he thinks you're the coolest uncle ever."

Jeff has to give a bit of a wry grin at that one. "Yeah well... I guess sometimes I should tone it down a little." He chews on his lip. "I suppose I always figured if I could make somebody smile that... well, that I was worth something then. If I couldn't help out with work, at least I could provide some laughter. Maybe I just went overboard and-"

"You stop doing what you do best and I'll give you the next heart attack myself." Jay looks at him sternly. "We all like you just the way you are and so help me, Jeffrey Pent..." He huffs a sigh. "I'd strangle you now if it wouldn't set off the alarms in here."

Jeff grits his teeth to keep a laugh hidden. "Keep getting worked up like that, and you'll be the one in this bed instead of me."

Jay chuckles before shaking his head. "So do you accept my apology or not?"

"Of course I do. I'm still frustrated though."

"I know. But killing yourself isn't the answer."

Jeff nods. "Yeah... I don't think I'm gonna be working too much anymore. I know it was stupid."

"Eh... I probably would have done the same thing. You're just lucky you got a group of people around you that won't let you go."

"Not lucky... blessed."

Jay smiles. "Blessed." Seeing the tiredness in his brother's eyes, he lays off. "Now... if you promise not to die, I'll leave you be for a while."

Jeff scoffs. "Okay. You sticking around or heading home?"

"Figure I came all this way I might as well stop by the ranch. I'll see you again." Jay rises from his chair and gives his brother's arm a pat. "Be nice to the doctors."

"Yeah, yeah." Jeff waves him away.

Back out in the hall, Jay finds Rosetta and flops down next to her in a chair. "Well... I've done all I can. It's up to him now." Turning his head, he studies his sister's face. "This might have taken years off his life... don't let it takes years off yours too, eh?"