7/10/12

Churned Up

Just an accident? Was that all it was? How come he made so many of them though? He didn't mean to feel guilt about everything, he just... did. He felt as though he didn't have an ounce of pride left, and in some ways, he didn't care either. Without the one person who had made him feel alive... what was the point? Maybe it was he that was an accident. Maybe he never should have been born in the first place and he was just destined to live like this, feeling as though nothing was really worth it anymore. 

Swallowing hard, he just remains quiet, taking in Misty's little lesson about making his own choices. The only problem was that he was always making the wrong ones, even when he thought they were right. He'd thought he'd been right when he'd tried to protect Ryan - and now he saw it was the worst decision he'd ever made. So how was he ever supposed to know? Again, he doesn't respond, but sits quietly as she finishes with his hand. He nods numbly at her instructions, knowing he'd do his best to do what she said - he didn't want to ever feel like he had when he'd had that infection before.

Misty's question about supper automatically sends a hunger pain through his stomach and he looks at the floor. "No... I guess I was too tired," he answers lamely. Why he felt so down tonight, he really wasn't sure. It was as if the pain in his hand had gone straight to his heart for some reason, and the depression had returned like a tidal wave. "I'm not really hungry." 


Stopping with Katie, Hunter isn't sure why she'd halted, but her smile keeps him there as his arm still rests over one of her shoulders. He wasn't sure what he'd though she might say, but her words are not what he expected. They were... deep. Cutting almost. And in a way... it was sobering. 

Hunter doesn't withdraw, but his eyes flicker as his emotions try to build walls that he didn't want to have between himself and Katie. She was exposing the bare truth - a truth which he  rarely admitted even to himself. It was almost frightening. Katie was a woman who had figured him out... who had weighed him and come to a conclusion that perhaps he hadn't yet... or hadn't wanted to. She liked him as he was now... not the rowdy trouble-maker he'd left in Nevada. But he'd accepted that other side of himself as part of who he was... as who he wanted to be. Yet Katie was not just informing him of his mask - she was taking the liberty of pulling it off herself and exposing him, whether he wanted to be or not. And he felt... as though he wanted to hide. It was confusing though, as part of him wanted desperately to embrace what he knew to be the truth that she spoke.

Taken off guard by Katie's gentle kiss, Hunter blinks, finally a little smile returning. She was... soft... timid almost but confident enough to have made that move. And it took the edge off the confusing emotions she'd just churned up. There was a bit of him that would like to pull her closer right about now and return the favor of a kiss. But he didn't want to ruin this moment either, so he refrains. "You're pretty amazing, you know that?" 

He cocks his head. "I'm rather honored to call you my friend, too." It was just as well that he could move on from the topic of himself and who he really was. Keeping the focus on Katie was more comfortable for him. 

Smiling, his hand tugs the back of her hair. "Your only problem is that you pay me way too many compliments. My head won't fit in my helmet anymore if you keep it up."

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