Picnic

Pulling up to Jared's place at noon like she had mentioned Grace was extra happy to be here today. Knowing Jared had willingly said he would come with her today made her happy. It was really important to her that Jared get out, he get his spirit back and fight to get his life back.

Getting out of the car and heading to the door Grace gives a knock. Hearing Lydia's voice she opens the door and enters. Making her way to the kitchen first Grace gives a little wave seeing her at the counter. It was funny how every time Grace was over she was always cooking something. She could only conclude that Lydia loved to cook and as far as she could tell all her good was good.

   "Good Afternoon Lydia! Something sure smells good."

Smiling and moving into the kitchen farther she leans on the counter. Today she had another sundress on and some flats on. Summer was coming to an end she needed to enjoy this weather while she could.

   "Would you like to join Jared and I today? We are going to head to the beach and have a picnic I think."

Having Carson box up her pizza Katie was thankful and even more so when he refused to let her pay. She'd leave him a tip for sure because she wasn't leaving without at least giving something. She understood it took money to run a place and giving away free stuff wasn't the way to do it.

   "Thanks."

Hearing his words of encouragement to her about starting her day tomorrow Katie really thankful for them and the extra little confidence really did make her feel good. He had confidence in her and it just... it made her feel good to hear someone else say it.

   "And thanks Carson. Just hearing someone else say it really helps. I'll be back soon ok? Thanks for the food."

Comfy Jeans

"Okay." Jared would kind of prefer it just be him and Grace at the beach, but he wouldn't begrudge his mother going along - she deserved to get out too, especially being cooped up in the house all the time, and half of that to take care of him. He would go whether it was all three of them or not. 

At the mention of food, he shakes his head slowly. "I'm... really not hungry." In reality, his stomach did want food, but he just didn't feel like eating. His mother was a great cook, but nothing seemed to taste good. It was as if his tastebuds had taken a vacation right along with his confidence and happiness. Not even ice cream sounded good.

"Thanks though." His hand slides over to rest against Grace's. Even if he couldn't smile, he did appreciate her efforts. Maybe tomorrow the sunshine really would do him good...

...When the next day did roll around, Jared wasn't sure what time Grace was going to come, but he makes the biggest effort he could in the morning to get himself cleaned up and showered. He found a faded pair of blue jeans - they were the most worn ones in his wardrobe - a pair that he'd wanted to get rid of before, but now were deemed the most comfortable, along with an old but clean and hole-less t-shirt. 

Sitting in his wheelchair, he could just see the mirror at the bathroom sink and he sighs. Showered and dressed in clean clothes, he still didn't look very good. Why did Grace even keep trying? Maybe he'd never figure out that one. 

Even if he wasn't worth his own efforts though, she was, and for the first time in weeks, he wanted to at least look halfway presentable. Retrieving his shaving cream and razor, he sets to work at ridding his face of what had become quite a thick layer of scruff. Once that was done, he runs a comb through his hair but ends up leaving it just a little messy. He used to be quite picky about his hairstyle... not anymore though. He loathed where his vanity had gotten him.

Returning to his room, he wheels himself to the window. It didn't take very much time of watching though, before he'd leaned his head to the wall and had dozed off. 

Seeing Katie ready to go but not having finished the pizza, Carson automatically gets her a small box. He wasn't going to let her pay for anything either - it was the first time in almost two months that he'd had a friend show up here and it was worth any expense. 

Her question brings his elbows to lean on the counter as he sighs. "I don't know, Katie... My life's been messed up since I was a kid. I've just had a few reprieves in between." 

He picks at a chip in his thumbnail. "As far as tomorrow goes..." He knew she was right. It was going to feel strange for her. Not just trying to get back into the swing of work, but having her ex-boyfriend right there. And not only that, but him dating one of her good friends. who was also right there. 

Looking at her, he offers the best smile he can. "...Well... I guess I don't have much to say about that. But one thing I do know is that you'll rise above it all, just like you always do. You have more strength than most people I know, and I haven't got an ounce of doubt that you'll be able to conquer whatever you want." 

Strange

Hearing Jared accept her invitation Grace was very happy. Maybe there was a part of Jared that was trying to be happy to work on things but it was just so hard for him. That she understood, not remembering something and than remembering everything that was bad it had to be hard.

   "Ok good, I'll be here around noon tomorrow. If you want your mom to come too she can and if not that thats ok."

Continuing to work on Jared's for a few more minutes before standing and letting out a small sigh. Getting the heating pad and ice putting them on Jared's legs. Sitting down next to him Grace gives a smile. Seeing hardly any of his food was touched she wondered if he really wasn't hungry or if he thought he didn't deserve to.

   "You didn't eat much for lunch...Want me to see about getting you something else? Maybe ice cream or something? Need to keep your strength up."

Katie gives a smile and a nod to Carson. She could see the worry in his eyes and new it was real. She felt so very bad for him that would could not describe it to even the littlest T. If she could she would tell Misty to wait for Carson to not give up, and that things are not always as they seem.

   "I'll make sure she's ok Carson. Just....becarful ok?"

Looking down at the rest of her pizza Katie new she wasn't going to be able to eat anymore. She new Carson would have to get going soon so the rest she might as well box up. Though she really didn't want to leave yet. She was worried about Carson, she was worried about tomorrow at work everything was going ok but there was still a bit of worry there.

   "Tomorrow is going to feel strange. I know it already. When did life get so messed up for us...huh?"

  "Chad, you have some mail."
   
   "When don't I have mail? Most of it's just bills anyways."
 
Opening the hotel door Chad reaches out and takes the pile of mail from Tina. Giving her a smile and a nod he thanks her before closing the door again. This time around he and Mark were sharing a room but right now it was just him. He'd finished with his work early today and now just had a little time to himself.

Setting the mail down on the table Chad goes back to the bathroom and finishes drying off his hair before putting a clean shirt on, and slipping in his sandals. Coming back around and sitting down at the table he flips through the bills one letting stops him. Seeing the return address he can't help but smile. Rosalyn had gotten his letter and now he had a reply. He'd haden't even opened the letter yet and Chad could feel his head skip.

Opening the letter and letting his eyes scan the words Chad's smile grows even more. His hands trembled just a little as he was ready Rosalyn's sweet words. She talked about how his words warmed her and made her feel so good, and he new what she meant because her words did the same to him. His heart fluttered and beat fast, his stomach did flip and he felt loved, wanted, and all around good.

Not being able to help himself Chad reads the letter again before standing and taking it to his suitcase. Slipping it inside he would keep it safe there till he could write again. At the moment he needed to get some lunch and run around a few places, but one thing he hadn't planned was bring his camera but now he was.

...A few days pass...

Sitting down at the table Chad lets out a tired sigh. Today had been a work out but now he'd gotten his pictures back and he had a little time to write a letter back to Rosalyn. Pulling out her letter he reads it once more again and smiles.

Rosalyn,
   
   I couldn't help but read your letter over and over again. Your words really touched my heart and gave my heart a jump. Each time I would read you letter it would put an even bigger smile on my face. The words never got boring, I never got tired of reading the same thing over and over again because they were your words, your thoughts, they were you.

   Florida is an amazing place, and I am still here. I will be for at least another day. Sometimes our stay is long, and sometimes they are short. Sometimes the others finish with there work before I do, and sometimes its the other way around. None of use mind though because it gives us some free time between jobs to just relax. Than again though I feel like my job is relaxing and to me it doesn't even feel like a job, but when you like something as much as I do I would guess thats normal. 

   Ah, you're twenty-five years old. I new you were younger than me but I wasn't sure by how much.  Twenty-five is a good number, I think in fact its a great number and it doesn't bother me any if it doesn't bother you. I've always thought age is just a number and really it means nothing more. Why do we put a number on someone? Does it mean something other than how long we have been living? No, your age does not bother me one bit.

   Yes Rosalyn I would like to keep writing to you, and I would like to keep sending you poems. You're the bright spot in each day when I think about you. Thinking about something you said, or remembering your smiles, your eyes or the way your hands felt on my chest it makes me smile, grin and everyone wants to know whats going on. I simply shake my head at them and walk away. 

   Your heart I will hold, for it is something I will not break as long as you do the same with mine. 

        Forever and Always,
              Chad

P.S. I put some pictures in here as well to just share a little bit of my life with you. I hope you enjoy them. 

In the envelope with the letter there were a few pictures along with a little note on the back of each of them describing that they were.


 Photo 1: A dolphin poking its head of of the water.

This is Rocco, I was telling her about you and she wanted to say hi. 
She was beached a few weeks back and became very ill due to lack of water, and her skin had become dried and cracked. After helping her back into the water we formed a cage right into the ocean for her to heal in. Finally tomorrow she gets to be set free and go home.  

Photo 2: Palm trees in front of the ocean on the beach. The sky is dusk and the moon it dotted in the background.

Looking out my window this is the view. Off to the left is the area we made for Rocco so I can keep an eye on her through out the day. She had to have someone keep on eye on her so I figured I was best for the job since I was right there. I've never had a better view except when I was been looking at you.

I ask

Jared fiddles with a loose thread on his shirt, contemplating Grace's offer. "I haven't been to the lake since I was a kid," he admits quietly. He did have some good family memories there. They were kind of foggy, but most of them had fairly good feelings attached to them. It seemed to be a rarity to remember something now that didn't feel negative. 

Glancing up, he studies Grace's face as she works on his legs. He knew she was trying to cheer him up, and he wanted to be cheered up. He just... couldn't seem to pull himself out of this pit. There was too much bad. Too much regret. Too much pain. 

"I'll go," he finally accepts.

A small but genuine smiles creases Carson's lips and he shakes his head. "If I told you that, I'd have to kill you..." He quirks an eyebrow coyly before turning to put away some glasses. 

He eventually goes back into the kitchen to clean up some things - he didn't think he'd be getting any more orders in tonight. After he was closed up, he'd go to the apartment for a little while before heading in to TJY and using their computers again. That would give him a couple hours sleep... which is what he got most nights now. 

Coming back out to the counter to check on Katie, he watches her for a moment, many thoughts going through his mind. "Hey, um..." He purses his lips in thought. He probably shouldn't say any more, but she was the only one he trusted right now. 

"When... when you see Misty again... would you just.." He shrugs. "Make sure she's doing okay? I know she's got Jason and all, I just... I worry about her."

Mick whistles a soft tune through his teeth as he ambles back down the driveway after having just retrieved the mail. He sifts through the handful of envelopes, sorting them between his fingers. Bill... bill.... junk... Eric... Becky... Jim... bill... Angel... junk... junk... Rosalyn...

He didn't usually pay much attention to what other people got in the mail - it wasn't any of his business. But for some reason, his eyes glance to the return address. Chad Mason. He stops walking for a moment to reread the name. Yes, it was Chad alright, with the return address in Nevada.

Thinking for a moment, Mick resumes his walk, tucking the envelope address-down in his back pocket. He usually just put the mail out in trays at the office and everybody was responsible for picking it up themselves. But this time... he had a feeling Rosalyn might not even check to see if she had any mail - it was rare she got anything other than magazines once in a while, and... Mick wasn't so sure having other people see the letter would be a good idea. 

It had become general knowledge - at least to Jim's brothers - what had transpired between Rosalyn and Chad, and how Jim felt about it. The last thing Mick wanted was to have Rosalyn bawled out for something that might mean nothing at all. It wasn't that he necessarily disagreed with his brother... he just... perhaps would handle things a little differently. 

It wasn't until a while later in the barn when he caught Rosalyn grooming one of the horses, and she was alone. "Hey, Rosalyn." 

She turns and smiles. "Hi, Mick." 

"Got something for ya." Mick approaches and retrieves the letter from his pocket, handing it to her. 

A little confused, Rosalyn takes it from him and turns it over, scanning the address. As she looks at whom it was from, her heart skips a beat. Looking up quickly, she catches Mick's eyes, almost afraid. 

Mick shakes his head and gives her a gentle smile. "I thought you might want that hand-delivered away from the circus." 

She swallows hard, feeling her cheeks turn a little warm. "Thank you." 

He nods and turns, leaving her be. 

Looking back down at the letter, Rosalyn studies the handwriting for a long moment. Chad? Chad had written to her? Why? Was it just something formal after his stay here? Was it something specifically for her? Was it an actual letter or something else? 

Since Chad had left, she had missed him a whole lot more than she thought she would. It seemed no matter what she did, her mind was always returning to him. She'd kept it all to herself though, not wanting to upset her father or get another talking to. She knew her feelings would pass eventually. But now...

Hearing someone else enter the barn, she quickly folds the envelope and hides it in her jeans pocket. She'd read it later....

...Though it felt as if she'd never get a moment alone, she finally had a break. Flopping down on her stomach on her bed, she carefully slits open the envelope and pulls out the pages. Seeing his handwriting, her pulse picks up. It really was a letter... specifically to her.

Reading his words, she could almost hear his voice. He wrote just like he spoke. So sweet. Gentle. She imagined the ocean and seeing it with him. Imagined the brightness of the moon and gazing upon it just like he would be. Imagined being held in his strong arms. Never had she ever received a letter so romantic... so warm. 

Gazing down the second page, a lump rises in her throat until on the last line, a small tear trickles down her cheek. Surely Chad didn't mean all these things, did he? Was he really truly pursuing her even from a distance? Had his visit here - with her - really meant so much that he would make the effort to correspond with her? Was it really true? 

It wouldn't be until that night when she would find time to write her own letter. Sitting by her window, she looks out at the night sky, finding the moon and smiling. Her little lamp offered just enough light to write by. 

Dear Chad,

You sir, are a flirt... 

She grins, knowing he would remember her saying that to him more than once. 

Your letter came as such a sweet surprise. I very much expected never to hear from you again when you left here. It makes me feel as though I am still asleep in a dream, wondering if I shall forever be asleep, or if I will one day awake, searching for that which now is lost. 

I sit at my window, writing by the light of the moon, which I trust your eyes are gazing upon as well. I don't know when you will get this - if you are still in Florida or not. I've never been there, but I can imagine the ocean so vast and powerful. It must truly be an awesome sight - you are fortunate to be able to spend so much time with the beautiful water. 

As I read your lovely poetry, I found myself hearing your voice. You make me feel so good - you really have no idea. Your poetic skills are quite flattering, and I will keep this poem always, to remember. 

I must ask you - for I do not know you well enough to tell - are you compelled to continue writing to me? I ask because I was shocked. I ask because I wonder if you realize I am eleven years your junior. I ask because I wonder if I should eagerly await more poetry or if this shall be the last, that I will cherish forever, as I do my memories of you. 

Tell me, and be truthful of your intentions, for my heart truly is touched by no one else, and it is but the most fragile part of me.

Rosalyn