Defend

Katie gives a little nod, she understood what Jason was saying and respected that. She wished he didn't feel like he had to walk on pins though. Nothing he said or did would upset her, it just wasn't her right to be upset about that anymore. 

Friends...could they be? At least that would try and thats what was importance to Katie. She new for her like for Jason it would be hard but she was willing to work twords it and do the best she could.

   "So, how is Misty? I kind saw her the other day but really didn't talk much to her."

It was a lame attempt at keeping a conversation going and Katie new it but they had to start somewhere right? She really did want to know how Misty was holding up too. She'd made a promise and she was going to keep it. Not to mention she was her friend and she did care.

Sitting at the marina Chad's feet just dangled above the water as he held Rosalyn's letter in his hand. He was on lunch and alone able to read the letter and even start a reply. It seemed most of his time was spent alone so he could read, write or think about Rosalyn. Questions had come up on why and if he was getting depressed but he'd left everyone wondering only smile and reassuring them he was in face not depressed. How could he be with someone so special writing to him.

Rosalyn,
   
   You fill my days with joy when I get one of your letters and when I can quietly slip away to to have some free time to read and even reply it is truly peace I feel. Today I write to you while I am on my lunch. Sitting in the marina in Oregon. Most mornings here are cloudy and filled with rain but by noon the sun comes out. I find it funny that at that very same time is when a letter from you comes. I can't help but smile and think it's you that brings the sunshine.

   Our apple tree......Mmmm.....I like the sound of that. To think we have our own spot, a place to look forward to seeing again, a place where memories to be placed. Its our first and I can hope there will be more spots too.

Going back to her letter and going over again what she wrote about her family and about this Agency he wanted to make sure he understood what he was ready. He did know a little from Katie about the stuff that went on with the family and people had been after them for as long as they remembered. Though he didn't completely understand it it did not push him away from giving Rosalyn the happiness she deserved and the happiness he wanted.

   You might be marked but I'd hate to be the person who would try and bring any harm to you. Does this news frighten me away from you? No my dear it does not, not even in the slightest, I would defend you with my life till I couldn't anymore. Oh Rosalyn...How special you are, and though I may not understand everything I would not take something lightly when you have told me. Maybe on day when we are face to face again you can explain a little more to me about the Agency so I am prepared to keep you safe. You have over looked my past, I over look yours but keep myself ready to defend when I need too.

Looking out across the water Chad gives a large smile. To think about Rosalyn it just did that to him, made him smile, made him feel all warm and fuzzy. It was just a nice feeling, one he'd missed, and he wasn't backing down not yet. It was comforting to know she was looking at the same sky too.

   Well as much as I would like to continue this letter to you, I must get back to work. I look forward to getting another letter from you soon, and being able to reply as soon as I can. Tonight I will look at the moon too. 

     Forever and Always,
          Chad

  

Eventually

Another sigh surfaces and Jason sets his sub aside. Friends? Could they really even get back to that point again? 

"I don't hate you Katie," he answers quietly. "I never did. I'm just... hurt. And I'm trying really hard not to be bitter. Having you back is harder than I thought it would be. I don't know what to say or how to act anymore. It's like walking on pins and needles and... I just don't know if that's gonna change or not." 

He knew that's not what she wanted to hear, but what else could he say? He couldn't lie and tell her it would all be just fine. He didn't know if it would be or not. 

"We... shared something special... something more than friends, and more than being boyfriend and girlfriend. We shared... each other's souls. Our thoughts. Our emotions. We were intimate in ways that no one else could ever understand. And after all that... to have it wiped out and torn to pieces... to say 'hey, lets be friends' is... well it feels a little harder than that to me."

Searching Katie's eyes, he sees her tears, and his heart hurts a little bit more. "But... it would seem a worthy goal," he relents. "I don't want our jobs to be a nightmare because of the tension between us. We were just friends once a long time ago... I'm sure we can pull it off again eventually." 

Dear Chad,

Your letter, as usual, brought a smile to my lips. I never knew a man who could write such nice words, let alone legibly - you have mastered both skills quite well. 

As I write, I'm sitting under our apple tree. It was too nice of a day to stay cooped up inside, and I was able to find the quiet privacy I wanted here. If I close my eyes and try very hard, I can imagine I am sitting here with you. But I miss the warmth of your arms around me. 

Leaning her head back against the bark, Rosalyn sighs and closes her eyes. Chad's most recent letter had more than confirmed that he wanted to continue writing, and that his intentions were for more than that too, if it would somehow work. The thought created a strange new sense of fear, yet it also filled Rosalyn's stomach with butterflies. While good sense told her that perhaps she shouldn't avidly pursue this, she couldn't help but write him back. He had come out of nowhere, swept her off her feet, and made her feel so very good... how could she ignore that?

Looking back down at the paper her pen hovers over the next line. In all reality though... she needed to be fair. There was more than one reason a man might not want to actually get involved with her.

You flatter me with your intentions. I wonder what it would be like if we were not separated by miles. Perhaps it would be sweeter. Or perhaps you would quickly grow bored of me and realize the ocean was still your first love. 

If, though, you do indeed intent to pursue me, then there are some things you must know. I am sure you have put a few pieces together - perhaps you have gleaned a little bit of information from Katie as well. In the end though, the bottom line is that my family is not a safe family to get involved with. You see, for many years, we have been hunted. I'm sure this will sound like a fantastically fabricated tale, but you must believe me. There is an illegal organization that has tried to control both the Henson and Pent families since the older generation were mere children. This organization is called the Agency and it has harmed us in many ways for a very long time. They are the reason I grew up without knowing my father - he feared for my family's safety and therefore he and my mother remained separated until they felt it safe once again. The Agency is also the reason that my parents gave up my younger brother, Ty, for adoption when he was a baby - for his safety. Clint and I grew up under the impression that Ty had died, and only recently did we find out the truth. 

Most others in our two families have been affected in one way or another by the Agency - and none of it is good. We are always watching the horizon. We trust no strangers. We wait - living not in fear, but in constant caution. Even while you were here, security cameras held you in their sights most of the time. Many have died going up against the Agency. It is nothing to be joked about or taken lightly. 

You may or may not believe the severity of this issue. Were I to have enough paper I would write you page after page of stories of how the Agency had almost ruined my family time and time again. How they have almost destroyed most everyone here at the ranch. There is so much that I could tell you - want to tell you - but one letter is hardly enough. I have been sheltered from direct danger, but that does not remove the fact that I am a marked woman by my name alone. I am James Henson's daughter - that is enough for me to be the Agency's prey. 

If you can still desire to have my heart after knowing this, then I will have no choice but to accept your letters and beloved poems, for it will prove to me the purity of your heart. But if you choose to step aside now to avoid any undo misfortunes, I will not blame you nor think badly of you. I will simply cherish what we've had, and rest assured that you are somewhere out of harm's way. 

I do not want to end this letter on a sad note though, for fear of this special place under our tree becoming something less than happy. So I will close now. And tonight, my eyes will be on the moon once more.

Rosalyn

All I want

   "If you want to hate me Jason, thats completely up to you and I wont hold it against you. For me, I'd like to try and be friends. Be able to stand each other at work so we can work, so there wont be an awkwardness."

Katie searches his face for a long moment. Thinking about all this stuff was hard, and talking about it even harder. To think someone she held so dear to her at once was now so far away and it was her own doing it was rough.

   "I know its going to take times and I'm not asking for answered prayers over night...but if we can at least try. I can't do it alone I need you to try as well. That's all I want from this is for at least be friends."

At this point thats all Katie did want. Even if it took a little while to be friends with Jason again was her goal. They had been close, they had gotten along and Katie just wanted a little bit of that back. Jason had always been a good friend that she couldn't deny.

Why?

Once again, words evaded Jason. He didn't agree about their connection - to him, it was pretty plain that that's all they'd had. True love? It didn't seem so any more. But he wouldn't say so. It would only start an argument, or cause more pain at least. And neither he nor she needed any more of that.

Eating in silence for a few more minutes, Jason finally speaks again. "So... where do we go from here?"

He searches Katie's face once more. "I mean... why are we here? Just so we can tolerate each other at work? To prove we don't hate each other?"

Not Sure

Katie could feel a pain in her heart return as Jason talks about he was going to come the morning of and try and works things out. Her own pigheadedness had lead to the not happening, if she had only opened her eyes and tried a little harder, things could of been so different and this pain of loss would be less.

Another pain seemed to follow hearing that Jason really believed that she had wanted someone else besides him. She'd thought for sure he'd known her better than than but than again actions speak louder than words and without there connection that little extra that said I'm yours and your mine was not there and know what one thought or felt had been a great deal harder.

   "Yeah, I...I can't blame you for that Jason. If I'd been in your shoes I can't say I would feel any differently. I should have let you explain, and if not at that moment because I was so upset I should have at least talked to you later in the night when I cooled down."

Looking out the window for a very long moment Katie hated how she felt. Being here, saying she was sorry to Jason she wondered if it was doing any good or just putting them through more pain. That was the last thing she wanted to do to him. He seemed happy, and Misty was a good woman, Katie new she'd take care of him since it was no longer her job. She'd still worry though because at one point Jason had meant everything to her, and she did still want to be his friend.

Sighing and looking back to Jason Katie couldn't help the small tears that had formed in her eye. The truth hurt, the past hurt, words hurt...but she new it was how Jason felt and there was no way she could fault him for that. She had her feelings and he had his even if she didn't agree.

   "I'm not sure I believe it was only the connection that was holding us together, but I do know it was the connection that tore us apart."

Finally picking up her own sub Katie takes a nibble of the edge of it. She wasn't really hungry but she wanted to try and at least eat a little bit. She could bring the rest of it home and eat it later. Maybe it could be here dinner tonight too. Than she wouldn't have to worry about cooking or bothering Thirteen and Ryder.

   "I'm happy you and Misty have grown close. You both deserve this after going through so much."

Would they ever be friends again? Katie didn't know but she hoped this was the right path. Her and Jason might never be involved again but that friendship was important to her. So she'd take it slow and just see how things would go.

Meant to Be

Seeing Katie finally arrive, Jason sets aside the sugar packet and offers her a partial smile. And all of a sudden, he regretted agreeing to come. But he had, and he wouldn't go back on his word now. 

Once ordering food and getting settled in the booth, Jason leaves his sub untouched as he listens. Her initial apology comes as a bit of a surprise, and he finds himself just studying her face as she continues to talk. He felt as though he should interrupt and say something, but he didn't know what, so he lets her finish whatever else she felt she needed to. 

As she explains and apologizes more, the dull ache in Jason's heart seems to cause him more pain. Not because he didn't like her apology... but because this whole thing just proved that it was all so stupid and never should have happened at all. But then... maybe a lot of things shouldn't have happened. 

Silence takes over the table as he tries to process her words and accept them. There was a part of him that was still angry, and it's that which he tries to set aside. He knew it was wrong to be bitter - especially after she'd said she was sorry. Staring down at his sub he toys with a couple stray pieces of lettuce trying to collect his own thoughts now. 

Eventually he looks back up again, heaving a weary sigh. His shoulders slouch slightly and he purses his lips, still thinking. "Thank you... for telling me all that." 

What else was he supposed to say? He had no idea. He'd thought up a whole lot of things he'd wanted to say to her over the last month or two, but at the moment, none seemed appropriate. 

His eyes lock with hers searching for something that made sense in all of this madness. "I'm sorry that you had such a hard time, losing our connection. I'm sure that even though it wasn't easy for me either, that it was probably worse for you. More than likely, I didn't do a very good job of recognizing that at the time, so... for that, I guess I'm sorry too." He shrugs lamely. "I could have handled some things differently - like with me and my friends. I never meant to neglect you and..." He gives a slight scoff. "That morning I came looking for you, I'd... made up my mind that I was gonna work harder and try to rekindle what we'd lost. But... I guess the effort was just a few hours too late."

He finally drops his gaze again to stare down at his sub as his mind replays that morning... going to Hunter's... finding Katie there. His appetite now seemed to have fled. 

"It's... interesting to hear you say that all you ever wanted was me. After all that happened, and seeing you with Hunter, I guess I came to the conclusion that you didn't want me anymore and were just waiting for an out. And when you saw Sandy kiss me, it just gave you the excuse you needed to dump me for someone else you wanted more." His fingers strum the table with an erratic tempo. "Hearing you say now that it's not how it was... I guess I want to believe you but it'll take a little while." 

He couldn't help it that that was the truth. She sounded sincere, but after how everything had happened, it still hurt a little too much to just take her word for it now. He'd have to mull it over a while longer and let it sink in before that hurt would go away. 

"Ya know..." A slight rueful grin tugs at his mouth. "Finding you at Hunter's wasn't the worst part. What hurt the most was you not believing me about Sandy." He shakes his head. "I never had any feelings for her, and until she kissed me that night, I never knew she had feelings for me either. Call it being a dumb guy, I don't know. I guess I was just blind. But having the person closest to me not even let me explain... it still hurts."

It did, too. Even now. He could still see the taillights of her car fading as she'd driven away from the concert, leaving him standing helpless to do anything. 

After another short pause, he catches her eye once more. "But I guess none of that really matters now, does it? You got Hunter, and Misty and I have connected." He shrugs again. "Maybe you and I never were meant to be in the first place. Obviously it was the connection that held us together. Without it, we fell apart. So maybe all of this is for the best anyway."

Finally, he forces himself to pick up his sub and take a bite, even though his stomach was in knots. He might just throw it up later, but he might as well attempt eating - at the very least, it gave his hands something to do. 

Just wanted to say

Stepping inside the sub shop Katie was running a little late but the paperwork she had been doing was almost done and she had wanted to at least try to finish it. Scanning the room she hoped Jason would still be here and hadn't given up waiting on her. Seeing him she gives a small smile walking over him but not to big. He's kept his word not that she even though he would.

   "Hey, Sorry I'm late."

Ordering there food and finally settling down Katie looks down at her glass of ice the was floating in her water and slowly melting. She'd known what she wanted to say and now...now all her words seemed a million miles away.  Katie had explained to Hunter before leaving for lunch that she was going to be talking with Jason. He didn't seem happy but he's said he trusted her, and she told him it was for the sake of her job. The thickness in the air couldn't really continue. But now...she had no idea what to say.

    "I new everything I wanted to say coming into this and now...it seems words are lost. While this whole thing comes down to though is I wanted to say I am sorry. Sorry for the way I acted, sorry for the way I treated you, and sorry for not trusting you."

Unwrapping her sub finally Katie looks down at the lettuces that falls to the paper before looking up at Jason again and searching his face for a long moment again. She wanted to make things right, she wanted to be at least friends again but she had no idea how. So many emotions ran though her and she had to try and find the right way to express them.

   "There was many things I could have done better, maybe things I should have done differently and I see what now. When our connection was broken I became lost, I didn't know how to express myself, tell you I was upset, I was hurting I just...I didn't know how and the more I tried the more I failed. I should have taken into consideration how you would feel I didn't and for that I am sorry. My friendship with Hunter I never meant for it to get in our way and it did."

Pain was riddles on Katie's face as she talked. Remember Jason's looks, his pleas, his willingness to try and work things out. Katie had ignored it though, her own thick hardheadedness got in the way and destroyed everything. She saw that now and she new Jason had done nothing wrong.

   "I also wanted to say I was sorry for what happened when I saw Sandy kiss you..."

Kate lets out a long sigh. It still stung a little thinking about it.

   "...I should of talked to you, not walked away like I had...I just...I don't have an excuse other than I was hurting so much already from feeling ignored that I didn't know what else to do. So I am sorry for that, sorry for turning out back on us and putting you through heck. All I ever wanted was you, and only you that I became so wrapped up in what I had lost with our emotions, and what else I could lost, that I actually did lost it. So I...just wanted to say I was sorry to you."

That Simple

Mr. Sub. Jason could handle that. It was close to work and the atmosphere was alright. He gives Katie a slight nod. "Yeah, okay. That'll work."

Her request for him to clear it with Misty brings a rather sarcastic expression to his face before he can stop it. "Of course. If I didn't, that would be pretty hypocritical of me, don't you think?" It may have been a couple months now, but he remembered all too well what it felt like when Katie would do things alone with Hunter. He hadn't changed his stance on the subject, and would certainly run this past Misty before going. And if she had a problem with it he'd take her along or not go at all. It was that simple to him.

Turning around, he talks over his shoulder as he leaves. "I'll let you know if there's a problem."

As suspected, there wasn't - especially with the way things were between him and Katie right now. Jason wasn't doing this for the fun of it. He was only going because Katie had requested it. And as far as he knew, there was no intention of making a habit out of this.

...When one o'clock finally rolled around, Jason was already seated in a booth at Mr. Subs. He hadn't ordered yet - out of respect - but sitting here waiting was making him rather nervous. He hated it, but there wasn't much he could do about it. He couldn't remember a time ever being nervous around Katie. It was awkward and felt unnatural. His feelings were all mixed up, and he still didn't know if he was still angry with her, or missed her. Could he be both? It felt like it.

Playing with a packet of sugar, he waits to get this over with.


Justin laughs, enjoying Misty's humor. "Six tomorrow night sounds good, and I'm not allergic to anything, so don't worry about killing me. And I'll eat just about anything, so you should be safe."

He jots a note down on his desk as a reminder. "I will see you guys tomorrow then. Thanks, Misty. Really appreciate this."

Make sure

Looking down at the calendar on her desk Misty checks what time she is working tomorrow and if she had anything else planned. Jason had to work late tomorrow so if he did come over it wouldn't be till much later and she worked the early shift. She hoped Alec would be around tomorrow but if she wasn't she could always tell him what was going on and was sure he would change it to be home.

   "How does dinner at 6 should. We could have a nice relaxing meal and talk about whatever we need too. Not to early and not to late that we would have to rush things."

Misty leans back in her chair for a second stretching her back a little bit. This morning had not been the best morning as she woke up with a lot of back pain. She didn't complain to much though other than to Alec. She new it was just going to get worse before it got better.

   "Is there anything you don't like to eat or are allergic to? I'd rather not kill you on your first time over."

Seeing the look in Jason's eyes Katie backs away just a little bit not meaning to sound to eager, or crowd him. She new she didn't deserve any kind of explanation, or reasoning she just hoped Jason would let her. She didn't want to do this for herself she wanted to do it for him, for there friendship. If nothing else she wanted to at least be friends with him again even if she new it was not deserved.

   "Mmmm...how about one o'clock at Mr. Sub down the street?"

Katie was thankful Jason would let her talk. She wanted to say they could ride together to save gas but she stopped herself from being friendly to fast. Slow steps, they could drive apart, she new the way Jason new the way and the last thing she wanted to do was step on anyone's toes.

   "Ummm...thanks Jason. Just make sure its ok with Misty alright? I don't want to cause any problems with you guys."