7/18/10

Miss

Smiling up at Bret and him a returned kiss to the lips Charlotte looks down on the small on in her arms again. It was amazing how small he was and how big her love could be for him already.

"Mmm..while I feed him can you call Angelica for me? If I we don't she'll have both our heads."

Charlotte was so happy, her eyes so bright and full of love. For her child and for her husband. They were going to be great parents, maybe a little different, but great non the less she just new it.

Heading up the sidewalk like she had so many days before Beth makes her way to see her sister. Today though something was different. Her eyes were still tired, and sunken in a little but there seemed to be a little spring in her step. Today she had something new to look forward to and it felt nice.

Seeing Justin sitting on the bench Beth new he would be there and seeing the Dog's with him today Beth gives a small smile. Stopping at the dogs first she lets them sniff her hand before scratching there ears and patting there heads.

"Hey there girls."

Standing up Beth gives a nod to Justin before coming around and sitting down next to him. Sitting a little straighter today.

"Good Morning. I think its....going...to be a nice day for fishing. Are you still going?"

Hearing her phone go off Ryan stops her work on the car and whips her hands off on a rag before going into her pockets and pulling out her phone. Giving a grin at the message she hits reply.

I'll miss the lotion too. Yeah I'll be at the races tonight. Come early and you can catch a ride with me.

Races

Bret sits in the chair and leans on the short railing of the hospital bed, looking down into the eyes of his new son. Running a finger down the face so small, his smile can't be wiped away.

He looks at Charlotte, his own eyes glistening. "Yeah... yeah, he is perfect." Glancing down again into Nicholas' eyes, he nods. "You sure are. I could never have asked for more."

Rising up out of the chair for just a moment, Bret leans over and down to kiss Charlotte's forehead. "I'm so proud of you. You did great."


Justin nods to Beth, letting her stand first before he rises too. "You have a good night too, Beth. Drive safe."

Following her outside, he watches her get into her car and just leans on the tailgate of his pickup as she drives away, watching as her taillights disappear down the road. Sighing deeply, Justin glances up to the night sky, looking at the stars as far as he can. Was he doing the right thing? He hoped so.

Finally he gets into his truck and heads home himself where he would be up yet another couple hours...


...Heading down the sidewalk, Justin keeps Danitza and Zora at his heel, his backpack slung over one shoulder. It was the same routine, same location, same purpose. While he sometimes grew weary of this kind of job, knowing what was coming was nice every once in a while. Though there were still a few things he couldn't predict.

Early for Scott, Justin heads for the familiar bench, easing down to sit for a few minutes. It was going to be a hot day, but right now it wasn't too bad and there was a slight breeze that kept it nice enough.

The two dogs obediently lie down beside the bench, waiting further instructions from their master.


Carson wanders down the hall of TJY, needing to ask Misty about a bill needing to be paid. He'd forgotten it at the restaurant the day before and now it couldn't wait, so he'd left "the girls" in charge for a while.

Almost to the infirmary, he spots the one person he didn't want to see.

Alec is coming up from the lower level to get some breakfast and spots Carson at the same time, meeting him near the infirmary door. Lifting one eyebrow, he folds his arms across his chest. "Hey, bro. Long time no see."

Carson's eyes narrow. "Not long enough. I heard they let you walk around loose - I didn't think they were that stupid."

Alec tsks, shaking his head. "Don't call Reese stupid. He might not let you work here anymore."

"Naw, there are days he needs me. You, on the other hand, seem to be a reoccurring parasite."

"Ouch. I'm hurt. Really."

Carson rolls his eyes. "Just stay out of my way."

"Hey I was just on my way for food. Got a problem with that, call it in to the big boss."

Carson opens his mouth to retaliate, then just shakes his head. Turning, he goes into the infirmary.

Alec stands for a moment, staring at the closed door. Why the encounter bothered him, he wasn't sure. But trying to push it aside, he heads for the break room. Grabbing a can of pop, he flops down at the table, and takes out his cell phone.

Morning. Sunburn better but Ill miss the lotion. Races tonight? I could sneak out for a while.


Leo sighs and pushes aside his bowl of cold cereal. He felt better than the day before as most traces of his hangover were over, but his mood hadn't lightened much. He wasn't even all that sure just what it was that was bothering him. Or maybe he just didn't want to think about it.

Glancing up to the calendar on the wall, he notes the day. There were races tonight. Maybe he should just go and hang out for a while... do something different.

Perfect with life!

Finishing off the rest of her coffee Beth looks into the empty cup. She was feeling a little better. Not a alone, and a new light to look forward too.

"Yeah I think I will be ok now. Thanks a lot Justin, I needed this tonight."

Give her coffee one last shake to get everything out Beth gives a nod with her head. She was ready now and all her drink was gone. Standing and crumpling the cup up She walks over to the small trash can before coming back to the table once again.

"Have a good night Justin. I'll see you tomorrow."

Scarlet can feel the color come to her face at Eli's comment to her looking perfect. As he slips his hemit on Scarlet gives a wave of her own watching him drive down the street. Once he was gone she turns and heads back to the apartment. Picking up her paper work along the way so she could get ready for tonight.

And in the silents a sing baby crys. The sound bringing joy to the new parents ears. The tiny baby being wrapped in a blanket and places in the new parents arms. The little eyes looking up at them, and the soft cooing music to there ears.

Looking down at there new baby Charlotte smiles so big. Tear filled her eyes but not from pain, but from joy. This was there little baby boy, there joy.

"He's beautiful. Nicholas Aaron Parker! He's perfect."

Looking up at Bret again Charlotte's eyes twinkle so happy. There baby boy was so small, so cute and his eyes so bright for just being born. Everything was perfect with life at the moment.

Limit

"Okay." Justin smiles again and finishes off his coffee. Yes, Beth had taken a step forward tonight. Things hadn't turned out like he'd originally thought, but again he wondered if maybe this was the reason for it all.

Cocking his head a bit, he studies Beth's face for a moment. Though she had needed someone tonight, there was still a limit for more than one reason. "It's getting late... you gonna be okay now?"


Eli smiles up at Scarlet as she stands, and he slides back down into the seat. "I'll be back here at seven. But don't try to clean up too much... you already look perfect."

Giving her a sly wink, he dons his jacket again and starts up the engine. Slipping on his helmet, his face is hidden. Saluting his farewell, he backs from the space and heads out of the parking lot, speeding down the street.

Maybe

Hearing Justin would spend time with her put another pang in her head and made her feel warm. It was strange thinking about spending time with someone and moving away from what she normally did, but in a way it felt kind of nice too.

"Fishing tomorrow sounds like a good start. In the morning I'll come....see Sarah and than we can meet here and I can follow you again if you want."

Maybe this time she'd try to fish herself too. If not though she'd love to play with the dogs once more. She liked Justin's dogs, they were fun, and soft. Tomorrow might be a good day at least it was a start.

Keeping her arms around Eli still Scarlet lets her one hand slide back to his head and through his hair. It felt so nice, soft, and Scarlet just enjoyed running her fingers through it.

"I think that sounds perfect. Mom and Pop's would be perfect, maybe afterward we can go visit Jimmy. As for the time thats even better gives me time to clean up a bit."

Scarlet's eyes twinkle again as she looks back at Eli more. Leaning in and giving him a slight kiss on the lips she backs away a little bit before getting off the bike and giving his leg a slight pat.

Tomorrow

Justin smiles his warm smile at Beth, nodding just a little. If he hadn't wanted to see her through this, he wouldn't have tried being her friend. Maybe it's what she needed to give her the extra little boost in the right direction. People came and went from Justin's life all the time - perhaps his and Beth's paths had crossed simply for this reason... so she could learn to live again. After all, that's what he did, wasn't it? Help people live again? To see a little sunshine in someone's life made it all worthwhile. And Beth had a smile that should be seen more often.

"Hey, if I'd wanted you to be alone, I wouldn't have come tonight." He gives her a quick wink before taking another swig of coffee. He wasn't sure exactly what Beth was thinking as far as spending some time together, but he knew he couldn't push it. Perhaps something familiar would be the best place to start. "I'm going fishing again tomorrow," he mentions. "If you're interested in coming along again, you're more than welcome and I'm sure the dogs would love to have you there too."


Eli chuckles, feeling the pleasure from knowing that Scarlet had missed him. Who knew where this relationship was headed, but at least for the moment, he was thoroughly enjoying it. "Good... I get to pick you up tonight then. I'm thinking... something easy like Mom and Pop's so we can go to a movie afterward. What do you think?"


Receiving Ryan's text message, Alec reads it and grins, despite his sour mood. At least he could still spend some time with her tonight even if it wasn't at her place. Reese had certainly done a bang-up job this time. And Alec was forced to admit that if he wanted his own place, he now needed to follow the rules. It was not fun and he hated it, but Reese had him cornered.

Rolling off the cot, Alec sheds his shirt, relieving his sunburned chest and arms. Assuming his normal fighting stance, his routine begins again, the same as he always did when all he wanted to do was punch something but couldn't. He would end up going over the routine ten times before Ryan would show up later.

Smile

Just taking in what Justin said Beth sits quiet for a long moment as her mind processes everything. What he said make seance and she had heard it many times before but this time Beth listened and was working it over in her mind more. Maybe she was ready to change, or maybe she trusted Justin enough and had in fact formed a friendship to leave her ears open to his words.

Looking down at the paper butterfly that was made from the napkin Beth picks it up. Running her fingers over the wings and looking at the detailed work that was done. He'd done such a good job on it, and he made it look so easy. Looking up at Justin again Beth's eyes search his face for another moment, her eyes seemed now sad, and though there was a strength still behind them there was a longing and almost a pleading.

"I....don't know how. Will....will you help me so I don't have to be alone?"

Justin had become a friend even if this had been the first time she said it. Maybe if she could face each day with a friend it would make it a little easier than facing it alone. Maybe he could show her some things that were fun, and encourage her to spread her own wings.

"But...if ya don't want to I understand...I don't....need you told hold my hand or anything just...having someone to share time with....would...be nice."

Beth did her best to smile and hold it this time as she looked at Justin. The corners of her mouth twitched a little as the smile was being forced to stay but maybe in time it wouldn't be forced but would come easier.

Key

Again, Justin simply sits quietly as he listens. It had been a hard thing for him to learn a few years back - how to be still and allow the other person their space. But once he realized its value, he now used the silences to not only give someone else time to reflect and speak, but it gave him more time to study them and decide the best things to say in return.

Beth's three things did not come as a surprise. She had loved her parents and loved her sister very much, even if the past had been rough. It wasn't strange that she would wish for everything to be reversed, and she wasn't alone with those feelings.

Justin reaches over and takes a napkin from its holder, folding it this way and that as it kept his fingers busy while he thought. His eyes now drift down, allowing Beth her comfort zone.

"Sometimes... it's hard to be happy when what really makes that happen is seeing those we love being happy first." He puts another crease in the napkin. "But sometimes..." He pauses, doing his best to speak words of comfort but not be the councilor she didn't want. "...the trick is finding what brings us happiness, or rather, joy, outside of those things. And sometimes... it means going deeper within ourselves."

Still fiddling with the napkin, he pauses, taking a sip of coffee and remaining very casual. "You know, for a long time after my dad died, all I wanted was him to be back again. I missed him, for a while I blamed myself, and I missed hearing him laugh. I was just a kid, but looking back, I can see that I was bound and determined not to be happy without him around. And then..."

He gives a little shrug as his fingers remain busy. "...then one day it hit me that there really was no way he was going to come back. So I had a choice. I could be miserable without him, or, I could dig deeper and be happy again. I thought about what he would want for me and I knew that he wouldn't want me to be miserable. So... I slowly started collecting things that made me happy... inside... things I found I liked to do. And soon... I realized that what really produced happiness was simply living. To be who God made me to be. I found that I gained joy in helping other people. I like to fish. I find happiness with taking care of my dogs. But..."

He squints a little as he makes another fold in the napkin. "...it's different for everyone. The one thing that remains the same though is the decision to be happy. It's a state of mind... a decision... not something that must be based on circumstances. I can find an old man who lives under a bridge who is happy just because he takes life one day at a time and he is satisfied. But find someone who seems to have everything and they might be miserable."

Pausing, Justin slides the napkin towards Beth. It was now folded down into the crude shape of a butterfly. "The key is allowing ourselves out of the cocoon that binds us and learning to spread our wings, even when it's a long ways to the ground."

Pitaful!

Continuing to look down at her coffee Beth take in a breath and let it out again slowly. She new the tears had wanted to come, they were right on the break but she willed them not to. She'd cried so much so long ago that now she didn't want to anymore. So she held the tears off, and tried to keep herself strong.

Hearing Justin talk it seemed to put a little warmth in her. Maybe it was because this time she was willing to listen, or being alone was just not good enough anymore. Looking up at him her eyes meet his as she searches his face.

"Three things, my parents back again and happy, My sister herself again, and....to be happy."

Drawing quiet for a moment and taking a sip of her coffee Beth lets her mind wonder. Her parents would never come back, her sister would never be the same and happiness...what was happiness?

"I know two of those things can never happen and as the last. I don't...know how to be happy anymore its been so long. I don't even know what my hobbies are, or stuff I like to do. It's just been the same thing for me day in and day out. See Sarah, go to work, come home, watch tv repeat. Life before my parents were gone...I can't remember that life anymore and there faces are slowly fading as well."

Letting out a small sigh Beth looks down at her coffee again and takes a sip. She really was pitiful or so she thought now saying this all out loud. She only wished sometime, things would be different.

Three things

Just sitting quietly, Justin is very surprised at how open Beth is tonight. He doesn't talk but just listens, taking in her body language, voice, downcast eyes... everything while she tells him the story of her past. He was glad he already knew so that nothing would be a surprise - the only surprise was that she was telling him these things. Perhaps she finally had been honest with herself and combined with finally trusting him... maybe it was simply the right combination and right timing for her.

Hearing he was her only friend sends a pang to Justin's heart. Beth was too nice of a woman to be so alone. Without friends, the world was a dark and very lonely place - no wonder she had walls so thick. It was a sad reality and also made Justin glad that he hadn't walked away. If he'd turned his back, she wouldn't even have him. He had to remain... he had to see this through... for her.

Leaning back in his seat, Justin curls his palms around his coffee cup and cocks his head just a little. For the longest time he just stays completely quiet, though there is no shock in his eyes, nor disapproval in his gaze. He simply gives words a chance to rest and regain wisdom before breaking the silence that hovered over the table.

"And I'm still here, Beth," he confirms quietly. "I'm not going anywhere."

He ducks his head a little so he can find her eyes that had been staring at her coffee. "You are very strong and very brave," he commends. A peace flowed through his tone. "And I'm glad that we're friends." Her past he would not hold against her. Her walls he would not hate. All that she had been through, he would not count against her. Justin felt it was important that she know he was still glad to be here, even after everything she'd just told him.

Quiet again, he takes a sip of his coffee before speaking once more. His eyes remain on her, should she look up for him to see her gaze. "If there were three things you could have in this world... anything... what would they be?"