I'm Sorry

Looking across the table at Scott Hope gives a smile. She felt bad now for making him feeling bad.

"No no...we will stay in Scott. Its ok I understand. Today we stand in, I'll cook and we can watch a movie. Maybe some time later this week we can go out ok."

Hope continues to smile at Scott she didnt mean to make him feel bad at all and she was sorry. Giving his hand a squeeze she keeps running her finger over his.

"I am sorry Scott. Being with you is good enough for me and I should be happy for that."

As Alec draws away again Ryan gives a laugh at his comment shaking her head a little. They were never getting lunch in this way. Intently watching him go for the whip cream again Ryan waits read to start up the sharing once again.

Continuing to grin and watch Ryan goes completely silent as Alec miss his mouth, finally though her grin turns into a smile and a laugh escapes her lips, rolling into even more laughter. Still laughing and hearing Alec's question Ryan nods.

"Yes...yes I am."

Seeing Alec's movement and that he had the can pointed at her Ryan gives a streak.

"Alec...dont you even think about it...Alec...no NOOOOooooo..."

Getting whip cream in the face Ryan can't help laugh again not being able to move because Alec was infront of her she just brings her hand to her eyes and whipes the cream out of them staring back at him.

Giving a big smile and locking her legs around Alec once more mischief played with the fire in her eyes. Not missing a beat she moves fast reaching for some of the cake pushing it right into Alec's face.

"I told you think to think about it."

Ryan's voice was laced with laughter. Turning her head a little so her cheek stuck out to Alec she laughs again.

"If you want some more whip cream with that you can have a lick."

Rosetta's eyes twinkle as she looks up at her husband. What a great idea that was as she listened. Sparky and Faith could have there own place, and he would still be able to be here to help out.

"I am sure we could use some extra hands in the kitchen, or cleaning for Faith as well so she has something to do."

Standing Rosetta goes over to her husband. This was fun thinking up all this stuff even if Sparky said no it would still be great. The land out there wasn't doing much of anything now, and if they built a house, they would have a big yard incase they wanted to make the family grow and room for them to do whatever they wanted. Trails intertwined back there, but Rosetta new that as long as they respected the area they would have no problem still using them.

"I think offering that land to them, if things keep going on the up and up with them would be great. They are family, and I love having the family here. We are building out own little community here, this Ranch...."

Rosetta wraps her arms around Mick's neck giving a kiss to his nose.

"...Our ranch has turned into something better than I ever expected. I think that would be a wonderful idea Mick."

Refill

Feeling Ryan deepen her kiss with him, Alec knows she's enjoying it as much as he, making him like it all the more. Once she pulls away, he's ready to move on, but being drawn back in again, he doesn't resist. The invisible force was too strong. Feeling her hand on him that moves down and around to his back, he reaches back without breaking the kiss to bring her hand forward again and lock fingers with her, his palm against hers.

After a few moments, Alec draws away, needing to catch his own breath this time. "I think I need a refill," he teases.

Going for the whipped cream again, he gives it a shake and aims for his mouth. This time though, his eyes are on Ryan and he sprays too soon. Catching the side of his mouth instead of the center, half the cream goes in his mouth and half misses to spray across his cheek. His eyes go a little wide and he almost chokes on what he's got in his mouth.

Hearing a laugh escape from Ryan, his eyes narrow slightly with an evil glint. "You laughing at me?"

Not even taking the time to clean off his own face, he takes aim once more, but this time it isn't towards himself. Whipped cream goes flying onto Ryan's face.


Scott's shoulders sink a little. He'd thought Hope wanted to spend time with him, so he didn't think it mattered, being out or in. But apparently all he was doing lately was disappointing her. He was here though, wasn't he? Right now? First time in about two weeks and it wasn't even going well. What was happening to them?

His eyes were tired as he looks back up at Hope, seeing the emotions pooled in her gaze. "Okay... we can go out tonight," he relents quietly. "Just, um... pick something lighthearted, okay?"


Mick sinks into a little deeper into thought for a moment before nodding. "I... don't think I've been fair with him, ya know? He's been more than great when I've been gone... when I'm around he pulls more than his share." He sighs. "I know he's considered leaving before. There are some ranch hands we could pretty easily do without, but him... I really don't want to lose him. Now with him and Faith... it's only natural that he'd want his own place if that thing progresses with them."

Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, he gives his wife a sidelong glance. "You know that couple acres in the clearing out back of the west pasture? We really don't use it all that much..."

His implication hangs in the air. They'd purchased more land the last couple years, expanding the ranch property even farther. It was great to have for when they needed it for the horses but... they had more than plenty of land now. "What do you think?"

O.O O.O O.O O O.O O.O

A bit of disappointment and hurt flash in Hope's eyes at Scott refusal to go, and his words that felt like the cold sting of a whip. Hope new the words had not been meant to hurt so bad, but they did none the less.

"I guess I don't much feel like staying inside today..."

Hope is quiet for a moment looking down at there hands. How could she say no when he was offering time with her. Even if she didn't want to be inside sacrificial a little couldn't hurt right?

"...but to spend time with you...I...I guess it would be better than nothing."

As Alec pulls away to retrieve the items from the fridge Ryan's just watchs him. Leaning her head on the cuboid behind her and catching her breath the best she can.

Watching his take the whip cream can Ryan just watches him for a long moment wondering what he was going, his comment made her curious even more.

Seeing him coming to her thought with the whip cream in his mouth Ryan gives a grin before pushing herself off the cabinet to need Alex. Her lips wrapping around his in the exchange of the whip cream. Tasting the sweetness with the cool, and the warmth of Alec's mouth Ryan kiss him a little harder, her passion behind the kiss a little deeper the sweetness making it that much greater.

Pulling away a little to catch her breath and swallow Ryan brings her hands to Alec's chest Gripping his shirt for a second Ryan comes back for more this time taking his lip in her mouth and sucking the whip cream off of it as her hands slip down his chest to his stomach lingering for a moment before moving to his back, bring herself into a kiss with him one more.

Sharing

Drawn in so closely by Ryan's legs, Alec puts a hand up on the cupboards behind her to steady himself as his other continues to rub her back or creep up to her neck and shoulders.

"Top shelf..."

He kisses her neck again, then her lips.

"...got it."

Prying himself away, he only has to take one step to the side to open the refrigerator door, leaving Ryan where she was. Spotting the cake, his eyes find the can of whipped cream as well. Retrieving both, he sets them on the counter beside Ryan, going for the whipped cream first. "Mama always taught me to share." Giving it a shake, he sprays a good amount into his mouth, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Returning to Ryan, he grins a little, his mouth still full as he returns for a kiss, sharing the whipped cream with her.


Scott's hand relaxes under Hope's touch, but his eyes remain on the table. "I....I don't feel much like going out in public tonight," he responds quietly.

Her words made him feel bad. He hadn't meant to push her away... he hadn't meant to worry her or upset her. He'd just needed his own space, that's all.

"You can come watch a movie with me at my house though," he offers. "Be more comfortable anyway. And I guess that way you can keep an eye on me like you want to."

He hadn't meant for his last words to be chilled, but once they were out, the iciness was obvious enough that he even cringes a little. Sliding his other hand across the table to cup her fingers between his palms, he rubs his thumbs over her knuckles. "I didn't mean that how it sounded," he backtracks softly.

Hunger

"Mmmm...."

Ryan continues the kiss her lips taking in Alec's kiss. This was what was different, the way he kissed her, the way he touched her it sent chill over her whole body. In between her own gasps for air Ryan is able to talk.

"Sweet and Spicy the...."

Ryan's hands fingers continue to run along Alec's arm, and his neck, to his back on more her other hand on his head keeping him close to her still.

"...hunger continues to taunt."

Feeling Alec's hand run down her leg Ryan wraps her legs around his wast even though she was still sitting on the counter.

"The cake is in the fridge top shelf."

Ryan losens her grip a little bit so if Alec wanted to get it her could but her legs stay wrapped around him, and her lips continue to meet his, not being able to break free of her addiction for them.

Sweet

Totally forgetting about anything else for the moment, Alec gives a low murmur, allowing himself to enjoy this mutual attention from Ryan. Her fingers sent chills down his spine like no other woman had. Something about her touch... her kiss... it was an enticing danger.

Continuing the kiss, Alec manages to speak quietly in between as he catches his breath, turning his head the other way, or moving to kiss her cheeks again. "You're sweet," he confirms. "Problem with sugar though... I always want... more." His grip around her tightens as his hand wanders down to her knee then returns to her back again. "You gonna... get the cake? ....or tell me.... where it is?"

Could find out

As Alec comes even closer to her Ryan's heart picks it up once again pounding in her chest, in her ears. Her breathing already becoming rapped to made the heart beat though she does her best to stay calm.

The counters of her mouth turn up a little more the fire in her eyes seeming to burn a little brighter as she gives a little squint at Alec.

Suddenly Being pulled to him Ryan's arms automatically go around his shoulders her one hand finding the back of his head like it had so many times before. Her fingers wrapping around his hair as he kissed her neck, a low noise forming in her throat. As the light kiss go up to her cheekbone Ryan's grasp on his hair loosens and her finger move to rack through his soft strands of hair. A chuckle forms at his comment about his sweet tooth.

Feeling his lips so close to her, his breath on her own Ryan gives him a soft kiss before retreating.

"Experiments...."

Ryan brings her lips to his again letting it linger just a little while longer as her other hand finds its way to the side of his face, her finger tip running lightly along his jaw and his neck as she pulls away again.

"...they are fun, but I don't know how sweet I am. I guess you could find out."

Her hand finally finding his back as she tightens her own grip around him keeping him close to her. Her sweet, soft lips pressed to his once again the the emotions flooded over. His lips against her, the sweetness of the kiss, it put her in a trance. They were the only ones who matter, they had the world and time at there finger tips.

"Your not worried about that Scott but I am, and I have to sit back and watch not being able to do anything. Going to bed at night and wondering if your ok. Waking up, not hearing from you and asking myself if you made it though the night alright because I have no idea whats going on, because you wont talk to me. You wont tell me when your scared or angry, you wont call me when you had a nightmare. I know nothing and thats worse than knowing everything."

The emotions flow through Hope's eyes and pool behind them. Scott had been doing so well and now, now it was falling apart. With every day Scott didn't get better, and Hope worried she could feel another part of herself break away. She cared so dang much and she felt so dang helpless.

Looking down at her own plate Hope's hungry seemed to just go away itself. She didn't feel like eating right now eater. Again reaching across the table Hope rests her hand on top of his hand that was clenched, running her finger lightly over his skin. He wanted to change the subject, she didnt but she would respect his wish anyways.

"Come see a movie tonight with me? I'd like that."

Rosetta gives a smile and a nod at her husband. She was so proud of him for accepting that his brother had been helping her out so well. She didn't mind at all raising Sparky's pay her certainty did deserve it.

"Sparky has been my right hand man for a long time with helping me around here. I don't see another problem with him continuing to help me. I think raising his pay a little could be manageable as well."

Looking down at her papers again to make a small note about changing a few things with Sparky's own paperwork.

At Mick's change in subject Rosetta gives a small laugh and a nod of her head as she looks up at her husband.

"Yeah he does a lot from what I can see. Its good to see him happy, and smile again."

Tired

"Mm... I think I might like to come see the races," Alec muses. "See what kind of danger you get yourself into."

Watching her peer into the refrigerator, he folds his arms and cocks his head, taking in the scene before she straightens up again, sitting on the counter. Moving closer to her, a crooked grin forms on his face, his eyes widening ever so slightly when she pauses in the middle of her last sentence. The mention of dessert makes the faint grin grow. "Been a long time since I've had chocolate cake..."

Nearing the counter, he comes as close as he can, standing between her knees. His hands slide around behind her and he pulls her into him. "...with whipped cream. That might curb my sweet tooth. Or..." He tilts his head down and gives her neck a light kiss. "We could experiment..." The line of kisses moves up to her cheek. "And find out if..." Up and around her cheek bone and back down to her lips. "You could curb it instead."


Scott's eyes shoot up at Hope's mention of her staying at his house. He hadn't expected that kind of offer. When she's finished speaking though, he shakes his head. "I don't feel unsafe."

Memories of the night he'd been attacked come flooding back. The shouting... gunshots... blood... who he'd killed. He snaps back to attention. "I took care of myself well enough the last time... I'm not worried about that." He shrugs. "I think you coming to stay with me might be... overkill."

Turning his fork in his hand for a few moments, he finally sets it on his plate and shoves it to the side, a signal for the waiter to pick it up next time he walked by. Not even half had been eaten.

"I don't... know what's wrong with me, Hope. I'm trying to not shut you out and I'm trying to let God help. But it's hard when I'm carrying a burden without even knowing what that burden is. I can't control what's happening in my brain and it's screwing everything up."

Frustration laces his words and he crumples up his napkin, tossing it onto his finished plate. He'd been doing so well. He'd been back to his old self again. He'd found himself even after all he'd been through. What had happened? What had gone wrong, and when? And why?

Looking down, he realizes that his hand had clenched into a fist, turning his knuckles white. There was still buried anger that one session with a punching bag had not defeated.

"Can we talk about something other than me?" he asks quietly. "I'm tired of being the topic of the hour."


Mick sits back in his chair, a pensive expression on his face. Sparky really had done a lot. More than Mick had ever expected. His brother had done more than simply step up to the plate. When Mick had failed and left everyone behind, Sparky had fallen into step without a grudge, without complaint. And that deserved a thanks.

The wheels in Mick's mind continue to turn. "I know we haven't set up an official rank system around here," he mentions. "Everyone always works so well together but... If it's alright with you, I'd like to name Sparky as the foreman around here. I looked at the books and it looks like we could afford to bump up his pay a little bit too."

He swivels in his seat to look at Rosetta again, searching to see if she agreed. He seems to bounce to a different topic just as quickly. "He's pretty serious about this Faith woman, isn't he?"

God and I

As Alec moves closer Ryan can already feel her heart beat start to pick up. Just the simple presence of him next o her sent the emotions and feelings through her body like nothing else she ever felt. Just letting the first kiss continue Ryan returns the passion, the emotions, just letting them wash over like a blanket.

When he pulls away to kiss her eyes, and than her nose Ryan can feel the breath catch in her throat as she tells herself to breath. Her own words coming out in a whisper before Alec comes back to her lips once again.

"For some reason I think...you do have what I am missing."

Feeling another kiss by Alec Ryan's eyes fall shut again taking in the kiss for as long as it last. Only to open her eyes once again with the same saucy grin on her face as Alec pulls away.

Finally getting out of the car and into the house Ryan has no problem just letting Alec rome the house. She didn't really have anything of value that he could take if he wanted to, but she trusted he wouldn't.

Going into the kitchen and opening the fridge Ryan looks into it seeing what they have.

"Yeah, my older brother Eli lives with me. He's at work right now so you wont be able to meet him, maybe another time. Or since your only taking a half hour now for lunch maybe Reese will give you the other hour your in titled tonight and you can come see my race. You can meet my brother than."

Standing up again Ryan closes the fridge before turning to face Alec again her back against the counter. Bracing her hands behind her Ryan lifts herself up to sit on the counter top her legs swinging.

"So the ruling is, we have pizza, hamburgers, pasta, or....we can make a lunch out of dessert.."

The fire in Ryan's eyes dance rapidly as the saucy grin returns to her face. Just letting her last sentience hang in the air for a moment before continuing.

"...because there is some chocolate cake left and whip cream too."

Compassion shown in Hope's eyes for Scott. What was she to do that she hadn't already. Everything she could think of doing had been tried and failed. What else could she do?

"Scott..would you let me come stay with you in your extra room for a little while? I'm scared of you being alone, and maybe if I was there with you I could help you better, and it might make you feel safe."

Taking a bit of her wrap Hope falls quiet again, she didn't know what Scott would think of this or if he would even agree. She hoped he would consider thought.

"I care to much to just turn around and not see whats going on Scott. I know you trying, and I know you want to figure it out but please...let me help you each day. Its easier to hold a burden when you know there is someone who has your back and will help carry the load. God and I want to help...will you let us?"

Not eating

Arriving at Ryan's, Alec seems a little surprised that she would bring him here. "Experiments, huh?" He nods a little. "I think that would be a very productive thing to do."

Glancing down to the car clock, he sighs. "Unfortunately, a need for food will leave little room for lengthier experimentation."

Looking back over to Ryan, a little grin makes his mouth twitch. "Not that I'll pass up the shorter experiments." Leaning over closer to her, his rough palm cups the side of her face, his voice lowering to a whisper. "Maybe we'll find out I've got what you've been missing."

As his lips find hers, his eyes fall shut and he kisses her gently and gradually more passionate. An eternity within a single moment.

Drawing away, he sends light kisses over her eyes and nose, winding up back at her lips again to end the sweet moment. "Okay... now I'm ready for lunch."

Alec scoots back over and gets out of her car, looking around at the apartments before following her inside. Upon entering, his eyes take in everything, his gaze ricocheting between windows, hallways and doors, calculating where every entry and exit was. Ambling into the kitchen, his sights go to the grocery list on the refrigerator, then what occupied the counter tops, taking note of what he saw and how it did or didn't jive with what he thought Ryan's tastes were. "Did you say you lived with your brother?"


Scott swallows hard, looking down. "I didn't mean to shut you out. I just..." He'd fallen into his dark little world again and didn't know how to climb back out. "I've just been trying to figure out how to get over this thing or... or find a key to straighten out my mind and all the tangled data. But... but nothing works."

He would have said more, but the food arrives and he pulls back, falling silent again. Picking around his food, it's obvious that he isn't intending on eating any more today than he had been lately. A few bites and he's back to running his fork through it and making it look like he was eating more than he was.

Eventually, he finally speaks again. "I didn't mean to leave you hanging the last couple weeks either. Time just... melted all together and I've been keeping myself so busy that I guess I didn't even realize how many days had gone by. Just keep calling me, okay?" He looks up in earnest. "I don't know... how... to let anybody else in. I don't know what will help. I talk it out, but the problem is still here. I think I get over it and then I have another nightmare. I just want.... I want something different... I want to get as far removed from the Agency and Elite as I can. Maybe with less exposure to what data is in my mind, the less it will crop up."

He glances back down again and drags a noodle across his plate, not having realized that he had just separated all the types of food on his plate, categorizing everything as if his actions were trying to compartmentalize everything just like his mind had done.

Conduct

Looking over at Alec and raising her eyebrow at his question the grin formed on her face stays put though she was thinking hard before she answered. Her eyes going back to the road another minute of silence before she speaks again.

"This speed demon realized it wasn't fair to her ex to be stringing him along when obviously there was something she needed he was missing."

Stopping at a red light Ryan looks over at Alec the fire in her eyes dancing with Alec's own.

"So the answer to your question would be yes, to both I guess."

Moving forward again its about another five minutes before they pull into the driveway of Ryan's apartment. Shutting the car off and opening her door she nods to Alec.

"Home sweet home. Figured we would have something different, and I can feel you left overs. Not only that its a little more privet to conduct experiments."

Poor sap

Returning Ryan's kiss, Alec grins just a little bit, settling back for the ride, not caring where they went.

Hearing her speak again, one of his eyebrows rises slightly. "Ah. An ex." He purses his lips and looks over to her, cocking his head. The pieces were falling together now.

"So... did the big bad Agency guy steal some poor sap's girl away from him?" He sticks out his lower lip, feigning a pouting look. "Or did Miss Speed Demon find a faster lane?"

Explanation

"You might feel like that Scott but your not. Your just trying to deal with it, and your trying to do it alone. But you need help you need someone to help you. Your forcing yourself to go through this alone when you don't have to."

Hope continues to hold Scott's hand. She wasn't ready to give up on him not yet. In every way Hope wanted to be there for him. He meant so much to her, more than words could ever say.

"Scott if I didn't want to be around you or thought you were horrible company I wouldn't ask to spend time with you. I know nothing can happen in a snap of the fingers, I don't expect it to and thats why I am being pashent, because I do understand. I'd just like to see you more than once every two weeks."

Following Alec outside and to her car Ryan gives a laugh. Moving into the drive side of the car she leans over bringing her hand to the side of Alec's face and than to the back of his head. Looking at him deep in the eyes the flames in her eyes seem to dance, and her lips had turned up into a grin.

"Experiments, I could never tire of those."

Pressing her lips to Alec's she lets her kiss show how much in the last ten days she had missed seeing him. Pulling away and giving another grin Ryan new this probably wasn't the best place for a make out session.

Starting her car she pulls out the parking lot and starts down the street. Quiet for a moment Ryan wasn't sure where they were going. Maybe back to her place to grab some left over pizza that was still in the fridge.

Glancing over at Alec she had read the question in his eyes, even if he was trying to hide it Ryan seemed to be able to see right though. She really had tried to see him, and finding most days he was busy she hadn't bothered to come back. So she hadnt been lieing about that, but it wasn't the whole truth ether.

"I really am sorry I haven't come to see you more. The few times I did you were busy, and than other than that...I've been having some problems with my ex. I mean nothing major, but just its kind of stressful. So I have had that linger on my mind."

Continuing to smile Faith felt the warmth wash over her. Sparky had been here the whole time, never leaving her. He had said he would be there when she woke up, and he was right.

"I guess this means we get to start the rest of our lifes huh? I'm excited to get to spend more time with you. I just need to rest a little, I feel tired. When I wake up, I'll see you again."

Closing her eyes Faith felt so tired even though she had been in a coma just the little bit of talking seemed so hard right now. Just a little rest, and she would be ok.

Sitting at her desk Rosetta was busy doing her own work while Mick went through any of the files he wanted. There was nothing to hide from him so Rosetta had no objection what he went through.

"I needed help, try as I may to do all this alone I couldn't. Sparky was there and he was bored so he did a good job of stepping up to help me."

Rosetta gives a smile to Mick, his brother had helped her a lot and she new Mick liked working in the barn more than doing the paper work anyways.

Crazy

Scott's eyes drop, though his fingers run over Hope's. "You haven't failed me," he assures quietly. "Don't ever think that, okay?"

He looks back up at her, wanting her to accept that. "You've never failed me... all you've ever done is be there for me when I needed you. If anyone's failed it's me and I just haven't figured out how to fix things yet."

Sighing, his shoulders droop a little. He'd thrown himself into his photography and to the outsider he would look incredibly busy and fulfilled. But if one looked closer, he was so weary. His weight loss had gradually continued and he was tired... tired of fighting.

"I miss us too," he mentions softly. "I just... I'm not good company right now. All I do is replay nightmares in my mind, rehash data and try to get it all out of my head. I don't... I don't like me right now. I'm not who I want to be but I haven't found the key yet to getting back to where I need to be. I had it once.... just a glimpse... I thought I'd conquered the monsters. But they're back and seem stronger this time. I feel like..."

He searches Hope's eyes. He was serious when he said this... there was no joking, even if it sounded like a teasing phrase. He'd never been more serious. "I feel like I'm going crazy."


Axel looks between Ryan and Alec with reservations but says nothing. He wasn't so sure about this, but it really was none of his business. He nods to Ryan and gives Alec one last suspicious glance before returning to his tools.

Alec looks down at Ryan, jerking his head towards Axel. "Nervous fellow, eh?" He aims Ryan towards the open door. "I don't care where we go. Anywhere but TJY. As far as the ride goes though..." He gestures to a pickup parked at the far end of the parking lot. It was Jason's. "I got an escort from here to the police station for a nice little interview with the chief, supposedly. That's why I only got half an hour."

He pauses as he slides into the passenger side of Ryan's car and waits for her. "However... I think forty-five minutes would do just as well. Unless you grew bored with scientific experiments and that's why I haven't seen you."

Many things lingered in his eyes. There was irritation for his little exchange with Axel that he'd hidden so well. There was weariness from long days of interrogation. There was the same desperate desire for freedom that had yet to be released. There was question as to why he really hadn't seen Ryan lately.


"Yeah... you too." Leo watches Cassy leave, waving out the door. He shrugs and aims back for the garage. Helping Cassy would be something different to do and at least it was a good deed rather than a waste of time.

Just as he gets back into the garage, he sees Alec and Ryan leaving, their arms around each other. His stomach churns as an untamed anger boils down deep. Great. Alec was coming here now. Just what he wanted.


Sparky gives a little chuckle. "I don't care if you're bald for the rest of your life - as long as you're with me."

He squeezes her hand. "You've been out over a week. Going on two, I guess. I've lost track of time." His thumb runs over her hand gently. "Yeah... I've been here the whole time."


Mick leans back in the office chair, looking through another file and shakes his head. After getting in deeper to all that had gone on while he'd been away, he was finding Sparky's fingerprints in everything. "Rosetta..." He continues to flip through pages. "When I was told Sparky helped out, I had no idea it was this much..." His voice showed his surprise. "There's hardly anything he didn't do or at least help with. He basically took over my tasks completely didn't he?"