3/21/14

So Sorry

“Hungry? You kidding? I’m starving.” Eric grinned as he walked with Stacy to his bunkhouse. “I think I had breakfast this morning, but that was it. Wanted to get back here so bad, I didn’t bother stopping for lunch.”

He came to a halt in front of the little porch, and turned to look down at her once more. Setting a gentle finger under her chin, he bent to give her a tender kiss on the lips. “Save me a spot at the table…I’ll be cleaned up in five minutes.”



Hearing her phone quietly beep, Rosalyn then felt her heart give a little jump. She’d set a specific tone for any texts from Chad, so she knew he was replying. Right in the middle of finishing up the rest of supper preparations though, she had to wait several minutes before finally being able to look and see what he’d said.

Seeing the picture, she smiled. His job seemed like such a romantic one, with him being able to travel the world. She wondered if she really could be with him, if she actually would make it “better” or if she’d just be in the way. Not that it was an option anyway, but it did make her wonder.

Anything new with me? Of course not.
Same old story. Different day.
Housework & cooking. Guess I cant
say I dont do what Im good at right?
So boring. No guests right now. Nice
but too quiet.


She wanted to say more. She wanted to confide in him and tell him how withdrawn and sullen her father had been lately. How bitter he seemed to have become in such a short time. She wanted to tell Chad how much she missed his company, and how much she wanted to see him again. But doing that would just make her hope, and hoping meant disappointment in the end.

At least the weather has been nice.

She rolled her eyes. Weather. Such an interesting topic. She sent the message anyway and pocketed her phone. Unless she wanted any negative attention, she probably wouldn’t have a chance to text more until after supper. But deep down, she secretly hoped he’d hear back from Chad anyway.



Still leaning his hands on the workbench, and still angry, the sudden arrival of someone else startled Clint from his thoughts. He turned his head quickly, doubly surprised that it was Ashlee. Having a witness, though, took the edge off his temper for now.

He scoffed and shook his head before he straightened and reached for a hammer that had landed at his feet. “That’s one good thing about tools,” he muttered. “You can’t kill ‘em.” Even though his anger lingered, he knew well enough that he couldn’t leave the mess he’d just created. Only after picking up a few more tools though, did he realize Ashlee was still there.

He set a couple wrenches back in their place before pausing to give the girl a long, hard look. They rarely spoke to each other…mainly just because they had very little in common, including age. Tonight though, he knew he should tread carefully. She might be a lot younger than he, but she was very smart, and mature for her age – at least as far as he could tell. Having her see him lose his temper was a blow to his pride, and also a threat that someone else might hear of this episode.

Breaking his gaze, he returned to cleaning up. “Isn’t everybody eating supper by now? How come you’re not over at the dining hall?”



Gunner mustered up a new, small smile and reached up to take Bree’s hand, and kissed it lightly. “Thanks. See you… in the morning.” One more hug, and he let her go, aiming himself to the spare room again. This time though, he took what he should have earlier, and was finally able to sleep again. Sleep without nightmares…that’s all he wanted. But someday…he wanted it without a pill. Oh how he longed for a mind and heart clear of the darkness that haunted him.


Scott held the door open for Hope, and joined her outside in the cool evening air. He tucked his hands in his pockets and grinned a little as he nodded. “Yeah…okay. I guess you’ll be hearing from me then.”

He couldn’t help the light laugh that surfaced. “I’m assuming that sounded just as corny as I think it did.” He looked down at Hope, studying her face by the light of the streetlight. It was so strange…how looking at her, he saw a close friend and a stranger all at once.

“Have a good night, Hope. I’ll catch ya at work soon.”



“Ordering in is always good, so you don’t have to cook,” Jason teased. He kept his concentration fixed on stirring the pasta, even when Misty asked him her question.

“Yeah…yeah, sure.” He finally glanced at her and smiled. Opening his mouth, he was ready to say more, but was cut off as Mackenzie shot through the kitchen, almost running into them both, and being followed just as fast by Alec. She was screeching, he was yelling, and had Jason not already known they were roughhousing, he would have thought the place was on fire. “Good grief! Alec! You’re a bad influence!”

“It’s her fault, not mine!” By now, Alec was already in the other room, and from the sounds of things, had caught his prey.

Jason just shook his head and laughed. “Okay…I think this pasta is about done. Good thing too, so I don’t pass out from starvation.”

The rest of the evening, he didn’t bring up about tomorrow night any more. Plans were set, and he really didn’t want to make a huge deal if he didn’t need to. Not only that, but he wasn’t so sure he’d actually have the guts to accomplish what he intended…

…The day had been way too long. Jason hadn’t been able to concentrate on work all day, and over lunch, he’d gone to see Con to tell him he just couldn’t go through with having a talk with Misty. His friend had reminded him why he’d set out to do this in the first place though, so after regaining his courage, Jason had kept his date with Misty at her place.

Ordering out Chinese had been fun, although the meal had been quieter than usual. Now sitting on the couch listening to music, Jason knew if he waited any longer, it would just make things worse.

After a sigh, he scooted back a little on the couch and turned sideways so he could see Misty better. It wasn’t time for cuddling though. All he did was take one of her hands and let his thumb run gently over her knuckles. “Misty, there’s…there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

His eyes found hers, and he swallowed hard. “Before I do though, I just want to make sure you know how much I care about you.” A small smile surfaced. “Actually, I’m pretty sure if you pressed it, I’d probably wind up admitting that I’ve started falling in love with you.” A little color entered his cheeks, but he kept going. “That’s why…that’s why this is gonna be really hard for me to say, but…I just want you to hear me out, because it’s really important to me.” He gave her hand an extra squeeze.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately…maybe you’d call it soul searching. And…I’ve realized that sometimes what seems right on the surface…underneath it really isn’t. And what my heart says to do isn’t always right either.” He paused for just a moment to make sure his thoughts remained on track, while his eyes remained on Misty’s. “When I…first heard what Carson did to you, I was so angry. I couldn’t understand why he’d do something like that. I still don’t understand it all. I wanted so badly to help you, because you deserved better than that. So…I did…and…I found out I cared for you more than I thought.”

He readjusted her hand between his own, and cleared his throat. “I, um…I don’t know much about marriage, and I don’t pretend to. But what I’ve learned is that the vows made aren’t to be taken lightly. And…I think I’ve taken your vows with Carson too lightly.” He cringed on the inside, but knew he had to keep going. “Mine’s not to judge whether or not you should divorce Carson. That’s between you, him and God. But what IS mine is a choice. A choice to stand between you and the man you married, or to be the man of integrity I’m trying to be, and not get in the way of a relationship promised for life in front of God.”

At this point, Jason knew there was no going back. And though he was sure Misty knew now where he was headed with this, he still had to say it. “Misty, I love spending time with you…being over here…just…everything about you, I enjoy. All I can do is hope you believe me, because it’s true. From the bottom of my heart, I care for you, and…and I desperately want to stay friends.”

Friends…that word sounded so cold, suddenly. Jason’s eyes dropped and he touched her ring finger tenderly. His voice became quiet. “But…but even though you took off your wedding band…you’re still married. And as desperately as I want to be close to you…it just isn’t right. Not as long as you’re still married to Carson.”

His eyes rose once more, his gaze full of fear. Fear for what she might say. Fear for what might happen between them now. He was breaking up with one of the best things that had happened to him, and most people might call him crazy. But in his heart of hearts, he knew it was right. And doing what was right was more important to him than doing what he wanted.

“I’m so sorry.” He was whispering now. “I feel like I led you on, and I didn’t mean to. My feelings haven’t changed. Just my choices.” He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so terrible inside. “I know your goal is to divorce Carson, and I can’t tell you want to do or not do. And when it’s all over, you may not ever want to speak to me again, but…but I hope you do. I just know that for now…this is the right thing for me to do.”