11/21/12

Dumb

Eric had seen the hurt, but there was more in Stacy's gaze now. Disappointment? Confusion? It all sent a little pang to his heart. As did her comment about Ashlee.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes softly. "I was gonna tell you and then..." He shrugs. "Part of me remembered what you thought of truck drivers in general and I was scared you'd think less of me, and..."

Pausing, he reaches over to gently place his rough palm along her cheek, turning her gaze back towards him. "And part of me knew I'd see that look of disappointment I see now and I didn't wanna face it 'cause I don't like it when you don't smile." He sighs as his thumb caresses her face. "I'm only doing it 'cause it pays good. Maybe it's silly for a man to not even wanna be gone from home more than a few hours at a time, but... I guess I've spent so much time with you and Ash that I kinda got used to it, ya know?"

His hand remains on her cheek and he musters up a little smile. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings... I guess maybe I just ain't got sense enough not to be dumb sometimes."


The mention of God brings a faint scoff to the surface and Clay nods as he chews his sandwich. "Well... I guess I did believe in God once." He had, too. As a boy, he'd been quite stubborn about his faith. As he'd gotten older, he'd forgotten some things... hadn't been quite as faithful. Then when his life had unraveled, he'd given up all together. 

"I suppose now I have a hard time believing He exists, or if He does, that He really cares all that much anyway." Clay shrugs, and, realizing his sandwich was now gone, moves on to peeling the orange. Maybe deep down that wasn't what he really thought. Maybe deep down, that love for God still existed... it was just buried under layers of bitterness.

"No offense," he concludes, glancing up at Misty. "I'm just not sure I can believe in Somebody who will let all this crap happen to me."