The next day, not much was different. After wandering the halls for a short while and avoiding anyone else, Garret found his way back to the infirmary, once again met by Rick. “Can I see Aaron?”
Rick pursed his lips in thought, but finally shrugged. Reese had told him to let Garret in if he wanted, unless he started trouble. “I guess. But he’s not a happy camper.”
Garret arched an eyebrow. “Would you be?” He made his way further into the room and to the back, behind the screen where Aaron lay in bed. “Aaron?”
His eyes fluttered open, and for just a moment, he almost seemed glad to see Garret. But it passed all too quickly, and his expression turned into a glare. “Traitor,” he hissed as he fought against the restraints that kept his wrists strapped to the bed.
Garret sighed and remained a few feet away. “I’ve got my reasons.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“Like I got tired of being a soldier with no purpose other than to serve a madman.”
Aaron continued to pull at his restraints. “Those botched missions. Those times I saved your hide. You didn’t really make mistakes, did you? You were trying to get out.”
“Yeah…I was.”
“Why? Why would you do this?” Aaron’s voice rose. “Why would you stab us all in the back? Me? Stab me in the back? I risked my neck for you!”
“I know.” Garret remained calm as he folded his arms. “And I’m sorry – I didn’t foresee you getting caught in the middle.”
“And Victoria? Is she here too? That crazy-” Garret’s look warned him not to call names, and he just smirked instead. “You better not let her near me.”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry. She didn’t stay.”
Aaron’s eyes narrowed. “You two have a thing, don’t you?”
“We did. But she didn’t agree with me leaving either.” Garret hid any emotions. “So now it’s just you and me.”
“I’ll never turn.” Aaron’s anger rose again. “I’ll never betray the Agency like you have.”
“We’ll see.”
“Get me out of here, Garret, I’m warning you.”
Garret cocked his head. “And you’re going to do…what? Look, I know this whole thing seems crazy, but if you cooperate, I might be able to keep you out of prison.”
“I’ll rot in prison before I help the Elite!” Aaron lunged against the straps, but his face contorted in pain.
Garret glanced down to his bandaged knee. “Even if you could run, you wouldn’t get far with that leg.”
“You just wait. When I get back to Medridge, it’ll be your sorry butt on the line. He won’t rest until you’re dead.”
Garret knew it was true. And he also knew that for the moment, he was safe. Victoria wouldn’t betray him, even if she didn’t agree. But Aaron was the wild card. “For now, you’re stuck here, so get used to it.” He turned to leave and kept walking, despite the line or profanity flung his direction with hate. Next stop – Reese’s office…
“...You’re not sending him to prison, are you?”
Reese stood at his filing cabinet, sifting through paperwork. “Not sure yet. It depends on how well he cooperates.”
Garret remained standing as well, and leaned on the back of the chair. “It wasn’t his fault, you know. He came to get me out because he was loyal to my command. He didn’t come with the intention to hurt anyone.”
“Yet he tried to kill Nate, then kidnapped and was ready to kill Susanne.” Reese turned and set his hands on his hips. “Why are you so concerned?”
“It’s just…” Garret bit his tongue. “You gave Carson a chance. He tortured an innocent woman, then wanted nothing to do with this place, except seducing your niece, yet you kept him out of prison.”
Reese bristled, but to a point, Garret was right. “I’ll let the seduction comment slide. You’re right about us keeping Carson here, though. We did give him a chance. But I deal with each case individually. If I feel Aaron is too great a risk, I will have him sent to prison. It’s that simple.”
“But he wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me!”
Reese raised his eyebrows at Garret’s loud voice. “Is there some…personal agenda here? Why are you so upset?”
Garret was quiet until he scoffed and turned to leave, muttering a curse. “I shoulda known better.” Back in his cell once again, he remained there for the rest of the day, despite his freedom. No one wanted him here. No one would listen to him, other than Nate. No one wanted to help him keep Aaron out of prison. No one even wanted his help with intel. What was the point?
“…So…you came here with a plan. How’s that working out for you?”
Garret threw Justin a glare. It was a couple days later, and he had been “asked” to have a chat with Justin again. It wasn’t supposed to be anything serious, although the atmosphere of the interrogation room made that difficult to believe. The last few day hadn’t been anything special. Garret had spent most of his time in his own cell, continuing to avoid other people - even Nate. He might have freedom within the building, but he still didn’t have anything to do, and he could feel Reese watching his every move. He took advantage of the facilities and food, usually after hours, though. He wanted to get in close with someone. Help with a case. Help with Carson’s case. But he hadn’t been given that chance just yet, and everyone here was still too leery. Nate was the only one he talked to at all, other than Rick when he went to see Aaron, and Aaron was now giving him the silent treatment. It all wasn’t as bad as being locked up, for sure. But it was still a kind of prison, and his frustrations were building. He wanted something to do. He wanted to protect Aaron. He still knew he’d messed everything up. ...And he missed Victoria.
Justin shrugged. He was just here for a routine evaluation, but it appeared Garret’s stubbornness had returned. “You’re on opposite sides of Victoria now. What if you meet on a mission?” All he got was another glare. “Okay. What about Aaron? Reese tells me you’re trying to keep him here. Why?”
“Why not?”
“I dunno. He was an extra player you didn’t plan on. He interfered in a way you didn’t like. If it weren’t for him, Victoria might still be here. If he hadn’t -”
“It wasn’t his fault!” Garret cut him off angrily, then stopped, getting a handle on his emotions. He had to get his control back. He didn’t like feeling so much so often, and was losing his skill to keep a lid on it. “The only reason Aaron acted was because of me. He shouldn’t even be here. So why wouldn’t I be trying to keep him out of prison?”
Justin jotted down a note. “You two friends? I mean…as much as there can be friends in the Agency.”
Garret leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head. “What’s with the counselor questions again?”
Justin grinned before shoving aside his notepad. “Just curious as to why you’re so keen on keeping Aaron safe. Any ulterior motives?”
“This is coming from Reese, isn’t it? Will he never stop suspecting me? My begging to be trusted has just been wasted breath since I got here.”
“I never said any of this was coming from Reese. But if it were, could you blame him? If you were still in the Agency and an Elite officer walked in and said they wanted to be on your side all of a sudden, what would you do?”
Garret smirked. “Probably shoot him in the head.”
“Right. Now I know you want to be trusted. And I know that Nate is one of the few people who does, but -”
“What about you?” Garret cocked his head. “Do you trust me?”
Justin’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I trust your intentions. But I don’t think you’re being completely honest about everything.”
Garret’s eyes finally dropped, as did his arms and his tone. He glanced at the mirror, knowing full well that Nate was on the other side – probably hoping he’d say something to help convince Reese to trust him. “Honesty…isn’t my strong point.”
“Why not?”
“Because closing off one’s own self from the world is one of the first things a Potential is taught to do.”
Justin quirked an eyebrow. “What’s a Potential?”
Garret shot another glance at the mirror. “A…Potential… is someone the Agency thinks has the potential for high ranks.”
Justin’s eyes took in all of Garret’s body language, and each subtle clue. And he again he knew he had hit a nerve. But he also knew he had to be extremely careful. “How do they decide who a Potential is?”
“Tests, mostly.”
“What kinds of tests?”
Garret turned his head to pop his neck both directions. “Just tests.”
“Like…IQ tests? Physical tests?”
Out of nowhere, Garret got to his feet and faced the mirror, hands on hips. “Really?” he asked Nate, even though he couldn’t see him. “Does this even matter?”
Justin stayed relaxed in his chair. “Sometimes relationships need understanding as a foundation.”
Garret turned around, his emotions flaring again. “Alright. How about you? Why do you try so hard to get into people’s heads? Or is your own head an unpleasant place to be?”
Justin’s lips turned up slightly. “My head can be unpleasant at times, yes. Especially since as a boy I grew up constantly at odds with my brother who later blamed me for our father’s death. And…I blamed myself, too. We had a very unhealthy relationship, then not all that long ago, he got hit by a bus and should have died. But didn’t. And part of me wishes he had. And part of me still blames myself about my dad. So, I spend most of my time trying to help other people…because I don’t like spending time in my own head… and because I was born with the potential to help other people work through their own heads.”
Garret couldn’t help but be surprised at Justin’s openness. “Well, some people are born with the potential to become soldiers for psychopaths.”
“I would agree to the soldier part, but not the psychopath part. Did you volunteer to be a part of the Agency?”
Garret started to pace. “No.”
“But you weren’t an Agency baby – born there for experimentation.”
“No.”
“So you wanna tell me how you came to be there?”
“No.”
Justin sighed. “Yet you want me to trust you.”
“So trust requires laying everything in my life bare? To give you complete intimate details of every day of my life? Wanna know about my missions, next? How about who I’ve killed? Or slept with for intel?” Garret turned to face Justin and leaned his hands on his table to get down to eye-level with him. “At what point will Reese say it’s enough to trust me? Where’s the line? Tell me, so I can decide whether it’s worth it to get there or not.”
Justin didn’t flinch, just remaining seated and calm. And the part of his heart that he was supposed to guard on cases cracked just a little. He could almost literally feel the pain hanging in the air. “I know it hurts.” His voice was quiet. “Whatever it is, I know it’s painful. And I’m sorry. But I also know that whatever it is you’re not saying is the building block on which your character has been built. And that is all I want to know.”
Garret sank down in his chair again. This was so far removed from any kind of tests or torture he’d endured in the Agency. His instincts told him to shut down and keep himself safe, while his ultimate desire for freedom battled against that very instinct. And without warning, his mind had taken him to a place and time very far away…
“So you have the money?”
“Alright, so just sign these papers and…”
“You do have the money correct?”
“We just need to finish up these…”
“Five thousand, you promised.”
“Yes, yes, of course, Madam. Please, we need to first have you sign the papers.”
A little, blonde five-year-old boy stood back in the corner of the dim room where he’d been told to stay by his mother. He clutched his teddy bear tightly, while his eyes remained wide and confused. His gaze bounced between his mother, father, and the two strange men as the four of them huddled around the table – the single piece of furniture in this queer place. They’d traveled to the city today, which wasn’t completely abnormal, but they’d come to a certain back street where it felt like bad things happened. But without proof of this feeling, or understanding, the little boy could do nothing but stand and watch.
“His name?”
“Hans. His name is Hans.”
All speech was in German – the only language the little boy knew, though what they were saying still made little sense. Once the adults were finished talking, he saw a thick envelope passed from one of the strangers to his father, where it was then tucked safely in a jacket pocket, and his mother smiled.
Next came the strangest hug he would ever remember receiving. He was used to being hugged by his mother, but this was different. It had a confusing emotion that only added to the ill feeling in his stomach. She smiled at him, but it wasn’t a smile he was used to. And then…she was gone. Along with his father.
He wanted to follow, but one of the strangers held him back. When he wasn’t set free, panic took over, and he started to scream as tears streamed down his face. He tried to rip himself free, but the man was just too strong.
“Stop this instant!” The other man knelt in front of him at eye-level. “You’re coming with us.”
The little boy stopped struggling, more out of shock than obedience. But he didn’t understand the English words being spoken to him.
“Hans, yes?”
He blinked away another tear.
“No… you’ll have a different name now.” The man checked a piece of paper. “Looks like from here on out, you’re going to be…Garret. And one of these days, Garret, you’ll never even remember you were born with another name.” The man stood up again, but not before wiping away the little boy’s tears. “And from here on out, tears are not necessary.”
It would be many years before that little boy would realize just what had happened that night. He had been sold for five thousand German mark. And in spite of that one man’s words, he never did forget his real name…or the teddy bear that had been left behind…
“Garret... Garret?”
He snapped back to attention and blinked at Justin. He’d only zoned out for a couple seconds, but it felt like an eternity, and it took him another moment to bring everything back into focus. “I don’t remember.” He returned to Justin’s original line of questioning with a lie. “I was too young to remember how I got into the Agency.”
Justin didn't have to ask - he knew Garret had just experienced a flashback. It took him by surprise, but he knew it was time for him to stop pushing. Garret was a man who wouldn't tolerate it. The heat had been turned up enough. “I don’t think that's true.” Justin was still calm as he stood up and gathered his notepad and pen to slip into his backpack. “But I’m not going to pressure you anymore about it.”
Garret swallowed hard. “Why?”
“Because some things shouldn’t be forced to the surface. They need to see the light of day in their own time…when they’re ready. And when they're ready...we'll talk again about that foundation for relationships.”
Garret’s jaw tightened as he pushed his feelings back down. “Why are you doing this?”
Justin smiled a little as he slung his pack over his shoulder. “Because I have the potential to help, remember?” He started to leave, then paused. “One thing, though…you might want to come clean on the fact that you simply care about Aaron as a friend and that’s the only real reason why you don’t want him going to prison. Believe it or not…Reese would understand.”
Left alone in the room, Garret knew the door wasn’t locked. But he didn’t get up yet. Not until the images in his mind were gone.
Next door, Justin stopped in to see Nate, and just watched Garret’s unusually still form for a few seconds. “I don’t know what happened to him…but whatever it was is more traumatic than anything else he’s experienced as an Agency soldier. My guess is it was as a child. Maybe something he witnessed. Maybe something he did. But how he ever got into the Agency – if he can face that, you’ll have one of the strongest men on your team.” He gave Nate a sidelong glance. “But I’m not going to tear open a man’s wounds without good reason. As far as I’m concerned, he’s protecting his own emotions at this point – not the Agency. And from what I observed, how he got into the Agency is going to have to surface on its own. Other than that…he’s just a man like anyone else who, at the moment, is alone and depressed. I sense no real threat in him, but I'd leave him be for a while.”
…Eventually, Garret got up and left the room, heading back downstairs to his cell. He shut the door this time though, hoping no one would bother him. This whole thing was just stupid. Day after day of nothingness. What was the point?
He wouldn’t leave his cell again until that evening when he knew everyone had gone home for the day. Everyone but Ty, who would be cleaning. After hardly moving all day though, Garret’s muscles needed to get up and do something. Anything. His own mind was driving him mad. Especially after Justin’s little chat.
He wandered into the rec room and turned on just one of the lights to provide a dim atmosphere. Maybe…this would help clear his head. He took a few minutes to get his bearings, and found a CD player in the corner. After sifting through the stack of music, he picked a rock mix and turned up the volume enough that he couldn’t hear anything else.
Slipping off his shoes and socks, he faced the punching bag without any hand gear. At first, he started slow to warm up, but soon his pent-up frustration began to seep out. The music reverberated in his head, and with each swing, his mind’s eye saw things like Medridge. Innocents he’d killed. Reese’s distrust. Victoria’s departure. His parents.
Punching combinations were mixed with hard kicks to the bag, raising his heart rate and bringing on sweat that ran down the sides of his face. Nothing had gone right lately. He’d messed up and lost everything that was important to him. He’d been dictated by the Agency almost his entire life. What he’d thought was status and control had only been slavery. And he’d been stupid enough to believe he’d actually been valued. Then he'd been stupid enough to believe this lame plan would work.
Time didn’t seem to matter, and only the clocks knew how long Garret had been beating on the punching bag. But by now, his hair and shirt were soaked with sweat. His knuckles had been beaten raw and were now leaving bloody smears on the bag with each punch. The tops of his feet looked no better, swollen and bleeding. But the pain was welcome. As his body’s nerves retaliated to the beating, it gave his mind something else to focus on…something other than his inner turmoil. Feeling the physical pain was better than feeling the mental pain.
Eventually though, even Garret had to tire out. Drenched in sweat and in a bruised and bleeding state, he grabbed the bag just to stay upright, breathing heavily. But too exhausted to keep going, he managed a couple steps to the wall, where he sank down to the floor. His feet hurt too badly to move, and flexing his fingers caused his knuckles to throb. He knew he needed to clean up the mess he’d made, but he was too tired, mentally and physically.
The loud music droned on, and he simply remained on the floor, slumped back against the wall. And the pain…the pain felt good. Closing his eyes, he was too tired to fight the fog that descended over this mind.
...Upstairs, Ty watched the security monitor closely. He'd been watching Garret for the last ten minutes, half impressed by the man's stamina, and half cringing as he saw how much beating on that bag must hurt. Garret didn't look good at all. And even though it was now almost midnight, Ty picked up the phone and dialed Nate. "Hey, it's Ty. Sorry to bother you so late. Look, um... I'm at the office cleaning up and I'm on security duty tonight. Anyway, Garret's in the rec room and just beat the tar out of the bag and himself pretty good. I don't think he'd want me barging in on him but...I don't think he should be alone. If you want me to call Justin or Rick instead, I will, but...I know he trusts you the most."
Medridge sighed deeply and his eyes narrowed as he studied his granddaughter. "I will keep you informed." That was all he would commit to. "When I have a plan in place, I will see if it would benefit from your involvement or not. In the meantime, do rest. Your next mission will be in Russia, so prepare your mind."
He gave her a slow nod to dismiss her. "That is all. I must plan now. Garret is not an easy man to replace."
Eric couldn't begin to express how much Stacy's presence meant to him right now. The encouragement was more than anyone else could give. Knowing that she would stick it out with him in spite of all that was happening, was truly amazing to him. The future was so uncertain. But her being there...he could count on that. And right now, that's what he needed. And it's what he thanked God for.
He swiped away any remaining tears and nodded. "Yeah...yeah, I need to see them." He was scared to death and would rather avoid the whole thing. But he couldn't. Not anymore. The time for ignoring this issue was over. "I'd like it if you came with me."
He started to move, before a sheepish chuckle slipped out. "But I think my leg's locked up on me." Maybe it was his nervousness that caused the laughter, but he shook his head with genuine humor. "I think I might need your help here..."
