It usually took a lot to startle Carson, but as he realized it was Misty who has just come up beside him, his eyes widened in surprise and he almost jumped. What on earth was she doing here? He said nothing as she helped him finish off the pepperoni pizza, bewildered by her presence. Her comment threw him for an even bigger loop and he finally turned to face her. "Of course you're not a bother...you're never a bother."
Seeing her tears, he suddenly realized something was wrong. Was it something he'd done again? If it was, she probably wouldn't be standing here, though. "Hey, hey, what's wrong, ay?" he asked softly. His eyes glanced up to Aerith and he nodded to the oven for her to take over.
Taking Misty to the side out of the way, he pulled her into a strong, warm hug, just holding her for several moments. "It's okay," he assured softly and kissed the top of her head. "You wanna tell me what happened?"
Scott didn't look up at Dalton as he talked, but he was listening. Still so thin, he pulled his feet up on his chair and wrapped an arm around his legs, while he took another sip of pop. Sometimes it bothered his stomach, but it was a comfort food for him. He stared at his computer screen in silence for a few minutes until he finally nodded. "Thank you..."
He took another sip of pop. Maybe he'd made progress like Dalton said. But would he ever feel normal again? Would he ever feel even close to how he used to? A vague reflection of his face could be seen on the outer edges of his computer screen. No matter what, every time he looked at himself, his grey eye was a stark reminder of things he wished he could erase from his mind. He never would be back to his old self, would he? It was impossible. The old Scott had been brave enough to live life. To even propose marriage to Katie. Now, he hid away in his house after work hours, and could hardly carry on a normal conversation with Hope...someone he loved deeply. How unfair it was to those around him, and he just couldn't seem to pull himself out any further.
"I don't know what I'd do without the Elite," he admitted quietly. "Anywhere else, they'd never let me keep working, and I'd prolly wind up on some sort of disability and never leave my house." He sighed deeply. His panic had passed. For now.
A message on his screen caught his attention, and he put his feet back on the floor, leaning in to look more closely. "Um...someone just navigated through our system and is trying to hack into something... Agency files. I recognize the coding. It's coming from in our building, but whoever it is didn't have access, 'cause they had to go through a back door." He did some quick investigating. "Susanne's computer? But she's gone to lunch." He glanced at Dalton. Odd. Who was using her computer to access things they shouldn't, let alone be trying to hack into the Agency? If they didn't know what they were doing, it could backfire and the Elite would be left wide open.
Travis couldn't really imagine being homeschooled. Not that he had very many friends, but being alone just sounded boring. Although living somewhere like this would probably help. He chuckled and shrugged. "Not much to tell about myself, really. I just graduated and have no plans, which irritates my mom. But...I like to fish and work with horses."
He paused as he worked a tangle out of Stardust's mane with his gentle fingers. "I like movies...music...I like to paint a little, but I'm not nearly as good as my dad. He's amazing." He leaned on the mare's back and looked over at Ashlee. She hadn't said which grade she was in, and he still couldn't guess her age. One minute he'd guess maybe young teen, and the next, she talked like she was older than he was. Regardless, she was being super nice, and he was glad she was around so he had someone to interact with while he was here. Not to mention, she didn't seem to let his condition faze her.
He gained a new crooked grin. "So...your turn again. What do you like to do, besides ride?"
10/1/16
Belong
Looking up from his computer at Scott's words Dalton was happy Scott had opened the can and was now sipping it. It wasn't the best think in the world to be drinking but at least it was something, not to mention there favorite snack of all time.
Hearing Scott's words Dalton disliked Kirk even more for making Scott doubt himself. He had issues, but didn't they all in one way or another. They all had baggage, and things they needed to work through. No one was perfect not even Kirk, he was sure somewhere he had a battered past too.
"I believe Scott, that if it came down to it, life or death, you would be able to pull it together enough to help someone. I don't just say that because you are my friend, I saw it because its true. We all make mistakes sometimes on cases unfortunately. They are delicit situations that we don't always know the outcome. We are human after all."
Leaning back in his chair and studying Scott for a long moment Dalton really believe that push come to shove Scott would be able to do a job if he had too. Afterwords he might crumble, and need a shoulder to lean on but in the moment, and even after he new he'd be ok. It was just a feeling he had for knowing his buddy for as long as he had now.
"You really have come a long way Scott. You belong here, just as much as anyone else in this building."
Looking up at Rick Misty gives a nod. Taking the rest of the day off sounded nice. She didn't want to leave her work unfinished but she just wanted to get out of there. She'd had enough for one day.
"Thanks Rick, I'll be back tomorrow."
It didn't take Misty long before she left work, and driving home. But it wasn't home that she was heading instead it was Mom and Pop's. Carson should be at work now, and she wasn't even sure why but something was pulling her that way.
Getting out and heading inside Misty smiles at the girls before going to the back. Standing in the doorway she just watches Carson work for a long moment. Would he be happy to see her? Why was she here? She wasn't even sure but it felt like the right place to be.
Still not saying anything Misty enters and comes up along side Carson grabbing some cheese and starting to sprinkle it over the pizza. Her heart hurt it hurt more than maybe even Carson new. From his blunders, to lose her baby, to losing Alec, now on top of everything Kirk. She didn't know how much more she could take.
"I hope I'm not being a bother I just...I didn't want to be at work anymore, and I didn't want to be alone."
Misty can't help the tears that rolled down her cheek. It was rare for her to cry, but it seemed as of late it became a lot easier for her to do so. She just hoped coming here wasn't a mistake, and she wasn't causing any trouble or stress on anyone else.
Giving a wave to Eric as he left and being left alone with Travis again Ashlee's smile had grown. Today was turning out to be a pretty good day for her. Starting to brush Stardust again she gives a nod to Travis question.
"You could say that. I'm home schooled. I pretty much teach myself since my mom is busy a lot, but when I have through I ask her or sometimes I just pick the brains of the other here. My mom does all my grading though and paperwork."
She missed going to a regular school but at the same time she liked being able to learn at her own speed too. Maybe one day she'd go off to college and than she could get the experience of being with a group of other. But till than she was pretty content. Things could definitely be worse than doing school here.
"What about you? You know all this stuff about me but I hardly know anything about you. What are something you like to do?"
Hearing Scott's words Dalton disliked Kirk even more for making Scott doubt himself. He had issues, but didn't they all in one way or another. They all had baggage, and things they needed to work through. No one was perfect not even Kirk, he was sure somewhere he had a battered past too.
"I believe Scott, that if it came down to it, life or death, you would be able to pull it together enough to help someone. I don't just say that because you are my friend, I saw it because its true. We all make mistakes sometimes on cases unfortunately. They are delicit situations that we don't always know the outcome. We are human after all."
Leaning back in his chair and studying Scott for a long moment Dalton really believe that push come to shove Scott would be able to do a job if he had too. Afterwords he might crumble, and need a shoulder to lean on but in the moment, and even after he new he'd be ok. It was just a feeling he had for knowing his buddy for as long as he had now.
"You really have come a long way Scott. You belong here, just as much as anyone else in this building."
Looking up at Rick Misty gives a nod. Taking the rest of the day off sounded nice. She didn't want to leave her work unfinished but she just wanted to get out of there. She'd had enough for one day.
"Thanks Rick, I'll be back tomorrow."
It didn't take Misty long before she left work, and driving home. But it wasn't home that she was heading instead it was Mom and Pop's. Carson should be at work now, and she wasn't even sure why but something was pulling her that way.
Getting out and heading inside Misty smiles at the girls before going to the back. Standing in the doorway she just watches Carson work for a long moment. Would he be happy to see her? Why was she here? She wasn't even sure but it felt like the right place to be.
Still not saying anything Misty enters and comes up along side Carson grabbing some cheese and starting to sprinkle it over the pizza. Her heart hurt it hurt more than maybe even Carson new. From his blunders, to lose her baby, to losing Alec, now on top of everything Kirk. She didn't know how much more she could take.
"I hope I'm not being a bother I just...I didn't want to be at work anymore, and I didn't want to be alone."
Misty can't help the tears that rolled down her cheek. It was rare for her to cry, but it seemed as of late it became a lot easier for her to do so. She just hoped coming here wasn't a mistake, and she wasn't causing any trouble or stress on anyone else.
Giving a wave to Eric as he left and being left alone with Travis again Ashlee's smile had grown. Today was turning out to be a pretty good day for her. Starting to brush Stardust again she gives a nod to Travis question.
"You could say that. I'm home schooled. I pretty much teach myself since my mom is busy a lot, but when I have through I ask her or sometimes I just pick the brains of the other here. My mom does all my grading though and paperwork."
She missed going to a regular school but at the same time she liked being able to learn at her own speed too. Maybe one day she'd go off to college and than she could get the experience of being with a group of other. But till than she was pretty content. Things could definitely be worse than doing school here.
"What about you? You know all this stuff about me but I hardly know anything about you. What are something you like to do?"
Thinking...
As Dalton entered the room, Kirk looked up in surprise. And leaned back in his chair a bit, his eyebrows rising higher. The giant of a man was so calm...yet his words were spoken in such a way it sent a chill down Kirk's spine.
Left alone again, he turned over a piece of paper with a list of names. His pen ran down the column, coming to a stop next to Dalton's name, and he pursed his lips. "Let's...not," he said aloud to himself before crossing out Dalton's name. He wanted to survive this whole ordeal, and he had a feeling if he tried anything with that man, he'd be lucky to get out of here alive.
There was something though... He jotted down a few extra notes on Scott's file. Then sighing, he flipped to a new page with two profiles. Jason Stevenson and Katie Pent. And he just sat, thinking.
Rick shook his head, disgusted with the job Kirk had done on Misty. He wished he could help, but he wasn't sure anything he said would do any good.
"I'm sorry. He doesn't have the power to knock you down too far. Just remember that."
He gave her shoulder an extra pat before turning to leave, then stopped. "If you want to take the rest of the day off, that's okay with me."
Even if he didn't respond, Scott did hear Dalton, and appreciated the support. It was just so hard. He'd been through so much and had struggled for so long. To have it all shoved back in his face was traumatizing in itself. His mind flooded with images he wanted to forget. His emotions ricocheted back and forth, up and down. And the tears and shaking wouldn't stop.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed. He knew Dalton had gone and come back at some point, and was grateful for his friend's willingness to just let him be and calm down in his own time.
Slowly lifting his face, he saw Dalton back at his desk, and spied a fresh can of mountain dew. Gradually, he got to his feet to sit in his chair, his head hanging in defeat. He did pop open the can though and took a long sip. His fingers fidgeted nervously with the can. He knew he shouldn't listen to Kirk, but he couldn't forget his words.
"Do...do you think.... do you think I'd get someone in trouble or killed if...if I had a bad moment during a case? Do you think I'd fall apart when it counted most?"
Eric smiled at Asked and nodded. He was pretty sure Stacy wouldn't mind watching the girls for a little while either. Her willingness to step in and help was absolutely amazing to him, and he'd be forever grateful.
Travis was a little surprised at Ashlee's explanation. It seemed kind of complicated. He cocked his head. "I always heard the name Mick Henson associated with this place."
Eric chuckled. "Well, since they're married, there ain't really no separation, but technically speaking, Rosetta owns the place as far as who's name is on the deed. Just don't remind Mick unless you want the stare of death."
Travis could tell he was teasing, and grinned. "Thanks for the warning."
"So, you ride?"
"Yeah. I was just telling Ashlee I'm not real good at it. My dad wanted to make sure I at least knew how to handle horses, so I've had some experience. Just haven't logged many hours in the saddle."
"Well, you're at the right place."
Was he? Travis feared by the time he was well enough to go riding, he'd have worn out his welcome.
Eric sighed and continued on his original route. "Alright, I'll see you in a while, Ash."
Alone with Ashlee again, Travis resumed brushing Stardust. "So what else do you do around here, besides riding? You go to school somewhere?"
Left alone again, he turned over a piece of paper with a list of names. His pen ran down the column, coming to a stop next to Dalton's name, and he pursed his lips. "Let's...not," he said aloud to himself before crossing out Dalton's name. He wanted to survive this whole ordeal, and he had a feeling if he tried anything with that man, he'd be lucky to get out of here alive.
There was something though... He jotted down a few extra notes on Scott's file. Then sighing, he flipped to a new page with two profiles. Jason Stevenson and Katie Pent. And he just sat, thinking.
Rick shook his head, disgusted with the job Kirk had done on Misty. He wished he could help, but he wasn't sure anything he said would do any good.
"I'm sorry. He doesn't have the power to knock you down too far. Just remember that."
He gave her shoulder an extra pat before turning to leave, then stopped. "If you want to take the rest of the day off, that's okay with me."
Even if he didn't respond, Scott did hear Dalton, and appreciated the support. It was just so hard. He'd been through so much and had struggled for so long. To have it all shoved back in his face was traumatizing in itself. His mind flooded with images he wanted to forget. His emotions ricocheted back and forth, up and down. And the tears and shaking wouldn't stop.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed. He knew Dalton had gone and come back at some point, and was grateful for his friend's willingness to just let him be and calm down in his own time.
Slowly lifting his face, he saw Dalton back at his desk, and spied a fresh can of mountain dew. Gradually, he got to his feet to sit in his chair, his head hanging in defeat. He did pop open the can though and took a long sip. His fingers fidgeted nervously with the can. He knew he shouldn't listen to Kirk, but he couldn't forget his words.
"Do...do you think.... do you think I'd get someone in trouble or killed if...if I had a bad moment during a case? Do you think I'd fall apart when it counted most?"
Eric smiled at Asked and nodded. He was pretty sure Stacy wouldn't mind watching the girls for a little while either. Her willingness to step in and help was absolutely amazing to him, and he'd be forever grateful.
Travis was a little surprised at Ashlee's explanation. It seemed kind of complicated. He cocked his head. "I always heard the name Mick Henson associated with this place."
Eric chuckled. "Well, since they're married, there ain't really no separation, but technically speaking, Rosetta owns the place as far as who's name is on the deed. Just don't remind Mick unless you want the stare of death."
Travis could tell he was teasing, and grinned. "Thanks for the warning."
"So, you ride?"
"Yeah. I was just telling Ashlee I'm not real good at it. My dad wanted to make sure I at least knew how to handle horses, so I've had some experience. Just haven't logged many hours in the saddle."
"Well, you're at the right place."
Was he? Travis feared by the time he was well enough to go riding, he'd have worn out his welcome.
Eric sighed and continued on his original route. "Alright, I'll see you in a while, Ash."
Alone with Ashlee again, Travis resumed brushing Stardust. "So what else do you do around here, besides riding? You go to school somewhere?"
Sneeze
Seeing Scott enter the room Dalton was about to ask him a questions but stops. Seeing the look on his friends face sent his worry sky high. He didn't like to see Scott distraught, he'd been through enough of that and deserved to have a break, a peaceful day at work.
Coming over and kneeling down next to Scott Dalton layed a hand on his arm. His friend didn't need to tell him what was wrong. He new Kirk had been talking with him, and He'd also new the cruelty he had shown several other people. Why this man thought it was his right to tare people down, to rip scabs off wounds He did not know. But what he did know was it wasn't right.
Coming over and kneeling down next to Scott Dalton layed a hand on his arm. His friend didn't need to tell him what was wrong. He new Kirk had been talking with him, and He'd also new the cruelty he had shown several other people. Why this man thought it was his right to tare people down, to rip scabs off wounds He did not know. But what he did know was it wasn't right.
"Don't let him get to you...He's an idiot who reads files. He doses not get to see us every day, how far we have come and the improvements we have made. I dont know what he said but I can guess and just know he's wrong."
His heart hurt for his little friend, and he wished Kirk would leave everyone alone. Why pick on the smaller people, the people who were more frail. Misty, Scott, Scott's sister...he didn't understand it, but he also didn't like it. How come someone be like this weather is was his job or not. These were good people here, even if they had rough pasts.
Giving a gentile pat to Scotts arm Dalton stands and heads for the door. Leaving the office he heads straight for where he had seen Kirk and Scott last. Seeing he was still at the table he enders not even asking first. He was in no mood to play, and he was in no mood for games. Leaning his hands on the table he towered over Kirk, His facial expression held no emotion, his body language neutral. His eyes the dark pools they always were, and his voice so calm that along could scare someone.
"I don't care who you are, if you so much as sneeze in Scott's direction for the rest of your stay...I'll be the one you have to take to jail,"
Saying nothing else Dalton turned and exited the room before Kirk could even reply. Heading for the break room he'd grab some fresh mountain dew and jerky for himself and Scott. Even if he didn't want it right now, maybe he would. He'd be there though so if Scott needed him.
Looking up at Rick Misty shakes her head. There had been so much going on lately, and Kirk had just been the icing on the cake. She new not to pay him any mind but that didn't mean what he said still didn't hurt.
"I've been trying so hard to get my life back, to pull myself out of this pit I am in and...now I just keep like I was pushed down even farther."
Signing Misty looked down again and just tore at a piece of paper on her desk, She just wanted things to be normal again. The thing was though, even if she got better, even if her and Carson came back things would never be the same again. Things had happened to change her forever and she wasn't to sure how she felt about that.
Jamie laughs again as she springs up from her chair and dashes for the door. She could never beat Con in a race but in these close quarters she did have a fair chance. Darting between cubicles, and chairs she get to the door in record time, but knows Con is close on her heels. Turning she laughs again.
"Ok, you can pay for lunch but its your good, maybe I'll pay for dessert."
Giving a smile seeing Eric Ashlee was happy they had run into him. He'd been so busy as of late she missed there interactions, and working on the horses together. She new sometimes that happens in life, but she couldn't help the little feeling she had deep down of just another person pushing her aside. She new that wasn't wasnt what Eric was doing, it just was all an adjustment even for her.
"I'd really like that. I'm sure Mom wouldn't mind watching the twins for a little bit."
Looking back at Travis and giving a smile she could see a slight look of question on his face. She'd forgotten he didn't know much about this place or the people.
"Eric is Rosetta's brother. She owns the ranch. He is also my moms boyfriend. He has two twin daughters, and is the one who is teaching me how to ride."
Dispite everything Ashlee was still honored to know Eric, and have him in her family. He was the only father she ever new and he did a great job being there for her and filling that gap.
Looking up at Rick Misty shakes her head. There had been so much going on lately, and Kirk had just been the icing on the cake. She new not to pay him any mind but that didn't mean what he said still didn't hurt.
"I've been trying so hard to get my life back, to pull myself out of this pit I am in and...now I just keep like I was pushed down even farther."
Signing Misty looked down again and just tore at a piece of paper on her desk, She just wanted things to be normal again. The thing was though, even if she got better, even if her and Carson came back things would never be the same again. Things had happened to change her forever and she wasn't to sure how she felt about that.
Jamie laughs again as she springs up from her chair and dashes for the door. She could never beat Con in a race but in these close quarters she did have a fair chance. Darting between cubicles, and chairs she get to the door in record time, but knows Con is close on her heels. Turning she laughs again.
"Ok, you can pay for lunch but its your good, maybe I'll pay for dessert."
Giving a smile seeing Eric Ashlee was happy they had run into him. He'd been so busy as of late she missed there interactions, and working on the horses together. She new sometimes that happens in life, but she couldn't help the little feeling she had deep down of just another person pushing her aside. She new that wasn't wasnt what Eric was doing, it just was all an adjustment even for her.
"I'd really like that. I'm sure Mom wouldn't mind watching the twins for a little bit."
Looking back at Travis and giving a smile she could see a slight look of question on his face. She'd forgotten he didn't know much about this place or the people.
"Eric is Rosetta's brother. She owns the ranch. He is also my moms boyfriend. He has two twin daughters, and is the one who is teaching me how to ride."
Dispite everything Ashlee was still honored to know Eric, and have him in her family. He was the only father she ever new and he did a great job being there for her and filling that gap.
Last one to the door...
"True to yourself..." Kirk pursed his lips in thought. Misty's tears didn't escape him. He glanced through his files, finding more he could bring up. Thinking another moment though, he shifted some papers to the bottom instead. "So, if you -"
"I think you're done here." Rick came up beside the desk his face proving his displeasure at this entire scene. It had gone on long enough. Misty didn't deserve this, especially now when she was still fragile. He scowled at Kirk. "Kindly take your accusations and leave."
Kirk didn't move right away, but eventually shrugged and stood up, gathering his things. "Have it your way. Just remember...failure to cooperate doesn't look good on reports."
Once he was gone, Rick set a hand on Misty's shoulder. "You alright?"
Out in the hallway, Kirk took a moment, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. No one would know what was going through his mind.
After the short break, he finally looked at his notepad again to see the list of names. Not everyone was on it. But he still had several people he needed to talk to...
"So, Mr. Johnson. Hopefully this won't keep you from your work too long."
Scott sat at the meeting room table with Kirk, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. He'd been asked to come in here for a brief talk, but after what had happened with his sister, he was not here because he wanted to be. "Hopefully."
Kirk spread out some papers on the table and looked them over for a moment. "Let's see. It...says here you spent quite a while away from the Elite. Care to elaborate?"
Scott's stomach turned. "It's all in the reports. You have the details already."
"Forgive me. I'd like to hear it in your own words if it's alright. The reports help but that doesn't help me get to know you."
"You want to know me? Like you wanted to get to know my sister? How'd that work out for you?"
Kirk leaned back in his chair and lifted one eyebrow. "I'm here now to talk about you. Not Sapphire. My file on her is finished."
Scott's eyes narrowed. "Then what is it you really want to know?"
"Says here you spent quite a long while at Brookshire Mental Care Facility."
"And?"
"And I have to admit, it sounds like a pretty heroic story. A rookie field agent gets kidnapped by the Agency, comes back, recovers, backslides, goes to Brookshire, then comes out the other side ready to return to work. That's pretty amazing."
Heat crawled up the back of Scott's neck. "What's your point?"
Kirk shrugged. "Do you think you're well enough to be here? Working, I mean? That was pretty traumatic stuff. At one point, you even insisted they keep you homebound because you were afraid you'd been brainwashed to sabotage the Elite."
"So?"
"So don't you find that just a bit unnerving? What if you were just a civilian? Would you trust someone like you to be working for the Elite?"
Scott's hands slid beneath the table, out of sight as they started to tremble. "I trust Reese's judgment to allow me back on the force."
"He seems like a reasonable man. But don't you think there was some guilt involved there? Don't you think he probably blames himself for what happened, so he'd do anything to keep you happy and comfortable to ease his conscience?"
Scott started to scowl. "Of course not. He has more integrity than that."
"So you don't think he blames himself."
"I didn't say that."
Kirk folded his hands up behind his head. "From an outsider's perspective, there's a lot of scary stuff happening here. You've got your hands in all the tech work here - you have incredible power through the computers, dealing with life and death scenarios. Do you really believe you're stable enough to handle that?"
Scott felt anything but stable. He'd tell anyone that. But he didn't think he was doing a bad job...was he? He'd faltered a lot. But...not when it counted...right? He'd messed up a few times. But he was still a valued part of the team...wasn't he? "I..." He swallowed hard.
"If I asked Justin, do you think he'd give you a clean mental bill?"
"I... well... I-I think so. I mean...."
Kirk blinked. There was the hesitation he was looking for. "You think so? You're not sure? You're working for a strategic law enforcement branch and you don't even know for sure if you can mentally stand up under the strain?"
Scott's trembling spread from his hands into the rest of his body. "It...I'm... I've come a long ways," he finally defended.
Kirk let his arms drop and he leaned forward to sift through some more papers. "There's documentation here that indicates you can't even handle seeing the faces of Agency operatives. If someone's life is on the line, what happens then? You panic, hesitate too long, and someone dies. Tell me I'm wrong."
Scott's pulse had started to race, and his breathing was becoming more shallow. Yes...that was his worst fear. That he would fail because of his issues, and someone would get hurt because of him. But he was doing so much better now than he had been...right? "I've...I've got more control than I used to."
"So you can tell me with absolute certainty that your post traumatic stress disorder will not affect future cases in which you're involved."
Scott fought the urge to bolt from the room. He glanced at the closed door. "As...as much as the next person...yes."
Kirk's hand came slamming down on the table, causing Scott to almost jump out of his skin. "Look me in the eye and tell me that," he demanded.
Scott's one good eye roamed Kirk's face as his own began to pale. "Yes," he repeated. "I'm...I'm sure. I wouldn't...I mean... if...if I wasn't stable enough, Reese wouldn't let me be here."
"That's why he makes you share an office with a babysitter?"
Scott sucked in his breath. "Dalton is anything but a babysitter," he hissed. "We're a team."
"Because you can't handle the job on your own."
"Because there's too much work for one person."
"Especially when you still aren't well enough to work full-time."
It was true, Scott wasn't working a full forty hours, but he'd been trying so hard to increase his workload. A long pause followed before he spoke again. "Is this how you try to get to know me?"
Kirk shook his head. "I'm just looking for answers, Scott. You've done a pretty poor job at convincing me that you even believe you belong here."
But he had nowhere else. This was his life. His family. Scott didn't know what he'd do without the Elite. Emotions flooded his gaze.
Kirk held up a photo of one of the Agency men that had held Scott after his kidnapping.
Scott stood so fast that his chair sprawled across the floor, and he backed up against the wall, physically trying to distance himself from the memory. "Put that away," he begged.
"Case in point." Kirk put the photo back down. "I'll ask you again. If you were a civilian, and you or your daughter or son was being held by that man - would you trust you to not panic in the heat of the moment and risk getting someone killed?"
Scott fought back tears. He had known this would be hard, but he hadn't known just how hard. "No," he finally admitted shakily. "No, I wouldn't trust me."
Kirk sighed. "Then why are you here?"
"I just..." Scott continued to shake all over. "I... because they believe in me here...even if I don't." Unable to take any more, he went for the door. He couldn't do this. He knew he had just failed the test miserably, and the Elite would probably pay for it. But he couldn't stay in here any longer. With his hand on the door handle though, he suddenly stopped and looked over his shoulder, his stare an icy one as he processed his next words. "If anyone doesn't belong here, it's me. But the people here look out for their own and they have brought me back from the brink of insanity - or worse - simply because that's how much they care about others. I may not be the man I once was, but without this organization, more people would have died already than even you would care to count. So if you're going to crucify someone, go ahead and crucify me since I can't meet your standards - but don't crucify the Elite just for keeping me around. It's not their fault I'm a mess." Not allowing Kirk to respond, he left the room.
Just a few doors down, he entered his own office again where he felt safer. Dalton's presence helped. Still shaking, he walked around behind his desk, but instead of sitting, he backed himself up into the corner, and slide down to sit on the floor, bending so his face was hidden against his knees. He couldn't help it that the tears started to escape, which made him feel even worse. Maybe Kirk was right. Maybe he was just endangering lives by being here. Maybe if he wasn't here, the Elite would have a better chance at survival. Maybe he really didn't belong here any more.
Con draped his arms over Jamie's shoulders, and quirked an eyebrow. "I hate to break it to ya, Hun, but I'm pretty hard to miss."
A new grin emerged. "But we can at least move fast." Spotting her purse, he grabbed it for her. "Last one to the door pays for lunch."
Agreeing to Ashlee's suggestion, Travis slowly followed her to the barn, where he sat on a hay bale while she hosed down Stardust, then got up to help towel and brush her.
"Well, well, you're looking better."
In the barn aisle, Travis turned to see a man he didn't recognize. "I'm getting there."
"Good. I'm Eric, by the way." He glanced at Ashlee. "Looking good out there," he complimented. He hadn't had time for any actual lessons lately, and he felt bad, but for now, most of his attention was on pulling his weight, taking care of the twins, and now keeping a watchful eye on everything.
Travis returned to brushing the horse gently with his good hand, while also trying to figure out the relationship between Eric and Ashlee. She'd mentioned a mom but not a dad, but Eric acted closer than a friend. Maybe he was a relative?
Eric gave Stardust's hindquarters a pat. "I should have some free time this afternoon if you wanna work in the corral for a little while. I need to get on Static a while before he breaks down his stall."
"I think you're done here." Rick came up beside the desk his face proving his displeasure at this entire scene. It had gone on long enough. Misty didn't deserve this, especially now when she was still fragile. He scowled at Kirk. "Kindly take your accusations and leave."
Kirk didn't move right away, but eventually shrugged and stood up, gathering his things. "Have it your way. Just remember...failure to cooperate doesn't look good on reports."
Once he was gone, Rick set a hand on Misty's shoulder. "You alright?"
Out in the hallway, Kirk took a moment, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. No one would know what was going through his mind.
After the short break, he finally looked at his notepad again to see the list of names. Not everyone was on it. But he still had several people he needed to talk to...
"So, Mr. Johnson. Hopefully this won't keep you from your work too long."
Scott sat at the meeting room table with Kirk, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. He'd been asked to come in here for a brief talk, but after what had happened with his sister, he was not here because he wanted to be. "Hopefully."
Kirk spread out some papers on the table and looked them over for a moment. "Let's see. It...says here you spent quite a while away from the Elite. Care to elaborate?"
Scott's stomach turned. "It's all in the reports. You have the details already."
"Forgive me. I'd like to hear it in your own words if it's alright. The reports help but that doesn't help me get to know you."
"You want to know me? Like you wanted to get to know my sister? How'd that work out for you?"
Kirk leaned back in his chair and lifted one eyebrow. "I'm here now to talk about you. Not Sapphire. My file on her is finished."
Scott's eyes narrowed. "Then what is it you really want to know?"
"Says here you spent quite a long while at Brookshire Mental Care Facility."
"And?"
"And I have to admit, it sounds like a pretty heroic story. A rookie field agent gets kidnapped by the Agency, comes back, recovers, backslides, goes to Brookshire, then comes out the other side ready to return to work. That's pretty amazing."
Heat crawled up the back of Scott's neck. "What's your point?"
Kirk shrugged. "Do you think you're well enough to be here? Working, I mean? That was pretty traumatic stuff. At one point, you even insisted they keep you homebound because you were afraid you'd been brainwashed to sabotage the Elite."
"So?"
"So don't you find that just a bit unnerving? What if you were just a civilian? Would you trust someone like you to be working for the Elite?"
Scott's hands slid beneath the table, out of sight as they started to tremble. "I trust Reese's judgment to allow me back on the force."
"He seems like a reasonable man. But don't you think there was some guilt involved there? Don't you think he probably blames himself for what happened, so he'd do anything to keep you happy and comfortable to ease his conscience?"
Scott started to scowl. "Of course not. He has more integrity than that."
"So you don't think he blames himself."
"I didn't say that."
Kirk folded his hands up behind his head. "From an outsider's perspective, there's a lot of scary stuff happening here. You've got your hands in all the tech work here - you have incredible power through the computers, dealing with life and death scenarios. Do you really believe you're stable enough to handle that?"
Scott felt anything but stable. He'd tell anyone that. But he didn't think he was doing a bad job...was he? He'd faltered a lot. But...not when it counted...right? He'd messed up a few times. But he was still a valued part of the team...wasn't he? "I..." He swallowed hard.
"If I asked Justin, do you think he'd give you a clean mental bill?"
"I... well... I-I think so. I mean...."
Kirk blinked. There was the hesitation he was looking for. "You think so? You're not sure? You're working for a strategic law enforcement branch and you don't even know for sure if you can mentally stand up under the strain?"
Scott's trembling spread from his hands into the rest of his body. "It...I'm... I've come a long ways," he finally defended.
Kirk let his arms drop and he leaned forward to sift through some more papers. "There's documentation here that indicates you can't even handle seeing the faces of Agency operatives. If someone's life is on the line, what happens then? You panic, hesitate too long, and someone dies. Tell me I'm wrong."
Scott's pulse had started to race, and his breathing was becoming more shallow. Yes...that was his worst fear. That he would fail because of his issues, and someone would get hurt because of him. But he was doing so much better now than he had been...right? "I've...I've got more control than I used to."
"So you can tell me with absolute certainty that your post traumatic stress disorder will not affect future cases in which you're involved."
Scott fought the urge to bolt from the room. He glanced at the closed door. "As...as much as the next person...yes."
Kirk's hand came slamming down on the table, causing Scott to almost jump out of his skin. "Look me in the eye and tell me that," he demanded.
Scott's one good eye roamed Kirk's face as his own began to pale. "Yes," he repeated. "I'm...I'm sure. I wouldn't...I mean... if...if I wasn't stable enough, Reese wouldn't let me be here."
"That's why he makes you share an office with a babysitter?"
Scott sucked in his breath. "Dalton is anything but a babysitter," he hissed. "We're a team."
"Because you can't handle the job on your own."
"Because there's too much work for one person."
"Especially when you still aren't well enough to work full-time."
It was true, Scott wasn't working a full forty hours, but he'd been trying so hard to increase his workload. A long pause followed before he spoke again. "Is this how you try to get to know me?"
Kirk shook his head. "I'm just looking for answers, Scott. You've done a pretty poor job at convincing me that you even believe you belong here."
But he had nowhere else. This was his life. His family. Scott didn't know what he'd do without the Elite. Emotions flooded his gaze.
Kirk held up a photo of one of the Agency men that had held Scott after his kidnapping.
Scott stood so fast that his chair sprawled across the floor, and he backed up against the wall, physically trying to distance himself from the memory. "Put that away," he begged.
"Case in point." Kirk put the photo back down. "I'll ask you again. If you were a civilian, and you or your daughter or son was being held by that man - would you trust you to not panic in the heat of the moment and risk getting someone killed?"
Scott fought back tears. He had known this would be hard, but he hadn't known just how hard. "No," he finally admitted shakily. "No, I wouldn't trust me."
Kirk sighed. "Then why are you here?"
"I just..." Scott continued to shake all over. "I... because they believe in me here...even if I don't." Unable to take any more, he went for the door. He couldn't do this. He knew he had just failed the test miserably, and the Elite would probably pay for it. But he couldn't stay in here any longer. With his hand on the door handle though, he suddenly stopped and looked over his shoulder, his stare an icy one as he processed his next words. "If anyone doesn't belong here, it's me. But the people here look out for their own and they have brought me back from the brink of insanity - or worse - simply because that's how much they care about others. I may not be the man I once was, but without this organization, more people would have died already than even you would care to count. So if you're going to crucify someone, go ahead and crucify me since I can't meet your standards - but don't crucify the Elite just for keeping me around. It's not their fault I'm a mess." Not allowing Kirk to respond, he left the room.
Just a few doors down, he entered his own office again where he felt safer. Dalton's presence helped. Still shaking, he walked around behind his desk, but instead of sitting, he backed himself up into the corner, and slide down to sit on the floor, bending so his face was hidden against his knees. He couldn't help it that the tears started to escape, which made him feel even worse. Maybe Kirk was right. Maybe he was just endangering lives by being here. Maybe if he wasn't here, the Elite would have a better chance at survival. Maybe he really didn't belong here any more.
Con draped his arms over Jamie's shoulders, and quirked an eyebrow. "I hate to break it to ya, Hun, but I'm pretty hard to miss."
A new grin emerged. "But we can at least move fast." Spotting her purse, he grabbed it for her. "Last one to the door pays for lunch."
Agreeing to Ashlee's suggestion, Travis slowly followed her to the barn, where he sat on a hay bale while she hosed down Stardust, then got up to help towel and brush her.
"Well, well, you're looking better."
In the barn aisle, Travis turned to see a man he didn't recognize. "I'm getting there."
"Good. I'm Eric, by the way." He glanced at Ashlee. "Looking good out there," he complimented. He hadn't had time for any actual lessons lately, and he felt bad, but for now, most of his attention was on pulling his weight, taking care of the twins, and now keeping a watchful eye on everything.
Travis returned to brushing the horse gently with his good hand, while also trying to figure out the relationship between Eric and Ashlee. She'd mentioned a mom but not a dad, but Eric acted closer than a friend. Maybe he was a relative?
Eric gave Stardust's hindquarters a pat. "I should have some free time this afternoon if you wanna work in the corral for a little while. I need to get on Static a while before he breaks down his stall."
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