Justin was very glad that Beth agreed to go to the hospital. He hadn't wanted to argue with her and make things worse. At least she was doing her best and willing to walk through this, despite how frightening it all was.
"Thatagirl." Justin gives her an extra squeeze. "I'll see if they'll let me drive you so you don't have to ride in an ambulance. You'll just have to keep this pack on your head good and tight, okay?"
Things after that were a bit of a blur. Insisting on driving Beth to the hospital himself, they were escorted by a police cruiser, and once there, also escorted inside. Several times, Justin had to argue with doctors, refusing to leave Beth - to the point that the policeman finally told the nurses to back off too. It was obvious that Beth needed Justin's presence and the policeman knew that if he was going to get any more information from them, the nurses and doctors had better keep peace, rules or not.
After Beth's cut was cleaned, stitched up and bandaged, the officer asked them several questions about the robbery. Justin was one of the few from the restaurant who could give anywhere near an accurate description of the robber - something the policeman was grateful for.
Once the ordeal was over, Justin took Beth back out to his truck to drive her home, holding her hand the whole way...
..."Alright, here we go." Justin enters the apartment with her. As relieved as she must be to finally be home, he was also. It was over. This whole thing was over. And yet... he knew that it would take a while for Beth to get over it. He feared this would set her back - how far though, he didn't know. It would set anybody back... that was normal. The only thing he couldn't predict was how long it would take her to bounce back, or if him trying to help would actually help or hinder.
Walking slowly to the living room, Justin eases down on the couch and pats the cushion next to him. She was still in her dress and he was still in his nicer clothes, but it didn't seem to matter. Right now, he just wanted Beth to be able to sit and rest.
Hunter smirks, giving Katie's foot a return tap under the table. "Nah, they treated me alright. 'Cept for those splinters..." He turns his palm over and squints at several places where he'd received splinters from fence posts.
"Work went okay though - I actually enjoyed it. Mostly helped Mick on the fence." Despite being sore, he really had enjoyed it. He knew he was trying to prove something too, but aside from that, it was the truth that he liked the physical work...and the time away from an idle mind that liked to wander.
Supper was enjoyed and Hunter found himself amidst chatter and laughter with Katie, carrying on various conversations with Clint, Mick or Jim mostly. It was a fun time...a family time. A time that maybe if Hunter stopped to think about it long enough, he would see it as something he'd missed out on... something he wished he had more of.
Once the meal was over though, despite being invited to help with a few more chores and/or play a game of cards, he had to decline. He was utterly exhausted from the long day and knew that he'd be no good the next day if he didn't go to bed early. It cut out some time with Katie but... maybe he could make up for it the next day. A squeeze of the hand and a hug goodnight was as good as it would get for now.
Back in the dining room though, the lights remained on late into the evening. And even those who usually went home by now, had stayed behind until there were nine people gathered - the result of Jay's request. It was him, Rosetta, Eric, Trent, Jeff, Sparky, Jim, Annie and Mick.
Standing near the group that was seated, Jay felt awkward, but he'd been thinking all day about this...
"Um...
I guess I just wanted us alone 'cause what I've got to say really
applies mostly just to you guys." Pacing a little, he mulls over the
words he wants to use. Finally he grabs a chair and straddles it
backward to look at everybody else. It had been a very long time since
he'd seen all these eyes at one place.
"Years ago...
when I first met you all and realized I was a part of something bigger,
it scared me... a lot. I already had a pretty settled life, I was
married, I was staring a family, and I had a good relationship with my
brother Jeff."
Jeff glances down for a moment,
remembering the past. He'd been sick most of the time, but there had
been good times with his brother, too. Especially later when he'd
interacted with his nieces.
Jay clears his throat and
continues. "When I found out about the Agency, I was more scared than
stubborn. You all had already been fighting them for a while and had a
handle on things. You all had skills that I never did - you could take
anybody down and you'd taught yourselves how to fight and handle guns
and shoot if need be. Me..." He shrugs. "I just owned a dog kennel and
was trying to live a normal life. And when I did involve myself in the
fight for a short while, I got even more scared. The Agency was too big
for me. I loved you all, but I just didn't have the guts you did. I was
intimidated most of the time."
Sighing, he shakes his
head. "And... for a while, keeping my distance didn't bother me. I
thought ignoring the issue would make me feel better. I thought it would
be safer for me and my family. So I stayed away. Oh, you know I stayed
in touch with phone calls or emails or whatever but... in reality, I
really didn't want to have much to do with you guys." He was ashamed to
admit it.
"Then when my wife and baby died..." He
swallows hard. It had been a long time now, but it still stirred his
emotions. "I realized that I was not immune to tragedy. Whether by the
hands of the Agency or not. I realized that avoiding the fight didn't
mean nothing bad would happen. My loss, fear and guilt for rejecting you
all in some way, shape or form made me into a bitter person. I didn't
like myself. I struggled with my kids - I just about lost Katie."
Jeff
catches his brother's eye, knowing all too well that situation. He'd
watched from a distance as his daughter had traveled down a very risky
path, unable to do anything but pray.
Jay purses his
lips grimly. "I thought finding a new wife would solve my problems. So I
married again - probably too quickly. I wanted another chance at the
child I'd lost so we decided to get pregnant right away. That was
probably another mistake, although I wouldn't trade Josh for the world."
He shakes his head again. "I didn't talk about it much, but you all
probably figured out that Jessica and I had problems. We fought a lot.
We talked of divorce more than once. I neglected my kids and Katie moved
out here, feeling rejected. The thing is..." He gives a light scoff at
himself. "She was right. I
had rejected her. And her sister. And the rest of you."
He
bounces his leg nervously but knows he needs to continue. So taking a
deep breath, he does. "It took a few years, but Jessica and I started to
work things out. We'd always held fast to our Christianity - but... we weren't really living it. By the grace of God, we
realized it, and realized we both needed to get back on track. So... we
started working towards that. And when we got ourselves right with God
again, our marriage started improving too, as did my relationship with
the kids."
He sighs again "Problem was... every day I
felt just a little more guilty for ignoring that one missing piece of me: you
guys. I had chosen to stay away because I considered it safer for my
family and I know that all of you accepted and respected my choice. For
that, I thank you. But... while I don't think I was wrong for that
choice, I began to realize again that just because I wasn't on the
battle line, that still didn't mean I wouldn't have any trouble - that
had already been proven. I knew I could offer assistance and didn't.
More so than that though, I was distancing myself from people who wanted
to get to know me... love me... have me be a part of their lives. I
was... denying all of you your brother."
Jay takes a
moment to get his thoughts back on track again. "My daughters are grown
now. One's out of the house and the other is still at home but on her
way out. Josh still has a few years left but he's getting to the age
where he can understand reality. And... each day I think of all you.
Just because I wasn't in touch didn't mean you weren't on my mind. And,
um..." He shrugs. "I guess what I'm trying to say is... I had my reasons
for staying away. And I'm grateful to all of you for accepting that. I
don't blame myself for my choices and I'm glad that I was able to
protect my kids for a while at least. God gave me the opportunity to
grow... to change... and I feel He guided me down the path I took. He
gave me my kids - they're my responsibility that I take seriously.
However... today is not the same as yesterday. This is not twenty years
ago. It's today. And today... things are different. I'm different.
Circumstances are different. And... I want to know my family."
Mick
quietly gives Rosetta's hand a squeeze, hoping she was as happy as he
was to be hearing all of this. Jay was exposing his heart to all of them
- something he had never done before.
"I'm not sure
what this means for me or the rest of you," Jay continues. "And I'm
still scared of the Agency. More than once, I've considered myself a
coward. I'm not telling you all this because I want to stand against
them or go to war. I'm here because I want to see
you. I want to get to know
you and have you get to know
me.
As I am today. Not as the man you knew before. My wife and daughters
know that just by coming here, I have endangered them. But they all are
standing behind me and all agree that the risk is worth it if we gain
back our family. Josh has heard about all you but doesn't even know you
and he wants to. He doesn't understand the risks, although he knows bits
and pieces about the Agency. God gave me the opportunity to shelter my
family. And I believe He's giving me the opportunity now to leave that
shelter and experience life in a new light. Staying away before wasn't
wrong. But neither is changing paths now."
Making eye
contact with the others in the room, he's not sure what else to say. "I
guess I want to say I'm sorry... I'm sorry that my choices robbed you of
part of your family, and I'm very sorry for some of my past actions or
the way I treated some of you. I've always loved all of you and I
apologize for not backing you up when you maybe needed me. If given the
chance, I don't know what I would change or choose differently. Maybe
nothing. But for today... I'm here. It's been too long. And... I want to
see you all more often. And I want my family to know you too. So... if
you can accept me back into the clan... I'll try to be the brother...
the man God wants me to be."
Sighing, Jared wished they could just sit and talk, but he knew they couldn't. Grace was here for her job and nothing more. "Yeah, okay."
It wasn't so bad moving his toes around and even his ankles a little bit. But once they got further up his legs, it started getting difficult. Able to stay seated in the wheelchair, his hands grip the armrests until his knuckles were white. It felt as though his nerves were going haywire as he tried to move his own legs, and his lower back screamed at him to stop.
Gritting his teeth, sweat forms on his brow. He knew he had to keep trying. He knew he had to remain strong. But it was just so frustrating. One more rotation and it felt as though an electrical shot traveled through his leg and up his spine. It was enough of a jolt to make him jump. Slamming his fist down on the armrest, his eyes travel away from Grace so his glare is aimed at the oak tree instead. It wasn't her fault. He wouldn't snap at her.... he wouldn't... he wouldn't....
Taking several deep breaths, he finally gives Grace a sidelong glance. "One of these days I'm gonna wind up kicking you and just blaming it on overactive nerve endings." His eyes narrow slightly, though a little bit of humor shone through. "Then again... I'd hate to kick something as pretty as you."