Meant to Be

Seeing Katie finally arrive, Jason sets aside the sugar packet and offers her a partial smile. And all of a sudden, he regretted agreeing to come. But he had, and he wouldn't go back on his word now. 

Once ordering food and getting settled in the booth, Jason leaves his sub untouched as he listens. Her initial apology comes as a bit of a surprise, and he finds himself just studying her face as she continues to talk. He felt as though he should interrupt and say something, but he didn't know what, so he lets her finish whatever else she felt she needed to. 

As she explains and apologizes more, the dull ache in Jason's heart seems to cause him more pain. Not because he didn't like her apology... but because this whole thing just proved that it was all so stupid and never should have happened at all. But then... maybe a lot of things shouldn't have happened. 

Silence takes over the table as he tries to process her words and accept them. There was a part of him that was still angry, and it's that which he tries to set aside. He knew it was wrong to be bitter - especially after she'd said she was sorry. Staring down at his sub he toys with a couple stray pieces of lettuce trying to collect his own thoughts now. 

Eventually he looks back up again, heaving a weary sigh. His shoulders slouch slightly and he purses his lips, still thinking. "Thank you... for telling me all that." 

What else was he supposed to say? He had no idea. He'd thought up a whole lot of things he'd wanted to say to her over the last month or two, but at the moment, none seemed appropriate. 

His eyes lock with hers searching for something that made sense in all of this madness. "I'm sorry that you had such a hard time, losing our connection. I'm sure that even though it wasn't easy for me either, that it was probably worse for you. More than likely, I didn't do a very good job of recognizing that at the time, so... for that, I guess I'm sorry too." He shrugs lamely. "I could have handled some things differently - like with me and my friends. I never meant to neglect you and..." He gives a slight scoff. "That morning I came looking for you, I'd... made up my mind that I was gonna work harder and try to rekindle what we'd lost. But... I guess the effort was just a few hours too late."

He finally drops his gaze again to stare down at his sub as his mind replays that morning... going to Hunter's... finding Katie there. His appetite now seemed to have fled. 

"It's... interesting to hear you say that all you ever wanted was me. After all that happened, and seeing you with Hunter, I guess I came to the conclusion that you didn't want me anymore and were just waiting for an out. And when you saw Sandy kiss me, it just gave you the excuse you needed to dump me for someone else you wanted more." His fingers strum the table with an erratic tempo. "Hearing you say now that it's not how it was... I guess I want to believe you but it'll take a little while." 

He couldn't help it that that was the truth. She sounded sincere, but after how everything had happened, it still hurt a little too much to just take her word for it now. He'd have to mull it over a while longer and let it sink in before that hurt would go away. 

"Ya know..." A slight rueful grin tugs at his mouth. "Finding you at Hunter's wasn't the worst part. What hurt the most was you not believing me about Sandy." He shakes his head. "I never had any feelings for her, and until she kissed me that night, I never knew she had feelings for me either. Call it being a dumb guy, I don't know. I guess I was just blind. But having the person closest to me not even let me explain... it still hurts."

It did, too. Even now. He could still see the taillights of her car fading as she'd driven away from the concert, leaving him standing helpless to do anything. 

After another short pause, he catches her eye once more. "But I guess none of that really matters now, does it? You got Hunter, and Misty and I have connected." He shrugs again. "Maybe you and I never were meant to be in the first place. Obviously it was the connection that held us together. Without it, we fell apart. So maybe all of this is for the best anyway."

Finally, he forces himself to pick up his sub and take a bite, even though his stomach was in knots. He might just throw it up later, but he might as well attempt eating - at the very least, it gave his hands something to do.