Weak Heart

You could always dump him. 

After sending his reply, Hunter wasn't so sure he should have. Taking another swig from his bottle, he types out another quick text. 

Sorry. We be thick headed most of the time. 

Id buy u a drink but u dont drink.

Every morning always has a sunrise. 

Just wait for it. 

Hitting "send," Hunter rolls his eyes. Finding his bottle empty, he waves for another one. Every morning always has a sunrise. That had been something he'd been told once... a long time ago. He'd quit believing it. Yet now he was passing it along. Did that make him a hypocrite? Or did he, deep down, still believe it? 

Kaylee gives Trey a hug around his neck and a sloppy kiss on the cheek, giggling for reasons only she knew. 

Having Trey pull her close too, Cindy returns his hug warmly. For the first time, she was holding the son she had not even known existed. And nothing could replace that feeling. "Yes... I'll call you." 

It wasn't until she was driving back to the hotel that the tears finally spilled over. She wasn't sure whether there was more pain or gladness in her heart right now. No matter. She must go on. She must go home. She must survive. 

Justin doesn't let go of Beth's hand yet and he gives her a soft smile. Seeing that shy little look in her eye made his own eyes twinkle. Maybe he'd known all along that she'd been waiting, and that's what had scared him the most. It felt rather silly now. 

"Yeah, you make sense." He nods. Lifting one hand, he rests his palm against her cheek. "I'm not disappointed," he reassures quietly. "I'm proud of you... no matter what you decide." He meant it too. He was jealous, and he did care for her, and he did want more than friendship, even if he hadn't been able to admit it until now. But... in the end... even if she opted for Zach... he'd be proud of her. 

"Just don't leave me in limbo too long, okay? I've got a weaker heart than most people know."

Garret looks down at Victoria, his fingers moving to interlock with hers on the swing's chain. A sigh finally emerges. He felt weary today and wasn't even sure why. "Good... because I haven't had enough of those walks yet." 

Finally letting go of her hand, he moves slowly around to sit beside her - there was just enough room for two to sit together if they didn't mind being cozy. Slipping his arm around her shoulders, Garret holds Victoria close. They had known each other just over seven years now. And from day one, they had known their futures would not easily be separated. Some would call it fate, but Garret wasn't sure he believed in that sort of thing. What he did believe was that over the last few years, he'd fallen in love. And forced to keep it a secret had become a curse they shared. 

Setting the swing in a slow motion, Garret controls it with his leg. "Funny," he muses quietly. "We're sitting here, hiding from the world in our own little peaceful corner. And the rest of the world hides from us." 

They rarely spoke of the conflict. The conflict between what they did to survive and what they knew was right. It wasn't easy to maintain any kind of conscious or conviction in a place like this. And if Garret were truly honest, he would admit that it was because of Victoria that he'd learned to have a conscious again. She was the one that had taught him there could still be good... that there could still be right and wrong, even if they were forced to do despicable things to survive. She'd put up with his stupid moves and he'd loved her for her stubbornness to maintain the lines her mother had taught her to draw. And in the end, Victoria had not only won the battle but she had won Garret's heart. And for the last few years, they had kept their promise of keeping their own relationship pure. No matter what they had to do on the job, when home again, together, alone... what they had would not be marred by bad decisions. And they had kept that promise. But the question they never asked was if they would ever know more. Their love was forbidden. And as such, they were locked in the prison of the shadows. 

Turning his head, a small smile finally creases Garret's lips. "You look beautiful today." He always told her that - but he always meant it. His free hand reaches over and his finger runs lovingly down the side of her face. 

"Maybe the next time you're sent out, you should insist on a bodyguard," he teases. "That way I could keep you in my sights." Still smiling, he shakes his head. "You showing up for the party tonight? I hear there's some high rollers that are supposed to show up."

I have to

Taking Kaylee from Cindy Trey holds her tight and looks her in the eyes giving her nose a kiss. He sure was going to miss her and without anyone seeing he had saved her scribbles to place in his room. A token of her and the love she made him feel.

   "You be good for mom ok Squirt and I'll see you again soon."

Looking to Cindy he gives a little nod. Moving in a little bit still holding Kaylee Alec takes his free arm and puts it around Cindy. He'd never hugged anyone before and meant so it was a little strange but at the same time it felt good and Trey liked that feeling.

   "I'll see you guys again soon. Call me when you get home safe?"

Hearing her phone go off again Katie rolls to her back and reads the message. A small laugh slips out from between her lips. At least he found humor in some of his silly jokes that was a plus.

Just boyfriend problems again and I wish kicking him would

make it all better.

Katie pauses for a moment as she reaches over and takes a swig of her drink. Letting out a sigh her stomach gives a growl. After not finishing her lunch she was paying for not eating anything but at the moment she really didn't feel like it.

I talked to him today and he totally miss the point that I know

he needs his friend time but it would be nice if at least once 

he asked me to go out with them too.

Sitting on the swing waiting...the birds flying high today. The warm rays of sunlight shown down and the breeze tossed her hair a little, she long elegant white and blue dress blowing in the same direction, making soft whipping sounds. Her face held little emotion, but her eyes showed a whole story that was never spoken. To be the granddaughter or a man so powerful, to be raised and trained to be the best of the best...even for her...to rebel would be the same as any other man.

Stopping the swing as a sound no normal person would be able to hear, but the sound was familiar, she could identify who it was and for that she was no scared though in the little white back bag that hung from her wrist was a small gun ready if she never needed it.

As the figure comes up behind her a soft smile finally breaks her lips. In the presents of the one she loved to show emotions was ok. And hearing he would not be heading away to soon was music to her ears. Life without him around was hard, lonely, even if they couldn't show there love, even an emotionless glance said a thousand words.

   "That is good news. I hate it when grandfather sends you away almost as quickly as you get back."

Finally turning slightly to look at Garret Victoria's locks fell over her bare shoulders as her eyes gave a twinkle with the little bit of sun light that made its way into there secret spot. There was everything about him Victoria loved, his deep voice, his looks and here...here it was not pramitted to look anything but your best and dressed up Garret look even better.

   "More walks are always good as long as they are with you Garret. So I will get in as many as I can."

Running her hand up the chain Victoria rests her fingers of his. A forbidden love formed, a secret formed within the shadows of the shadows. It was what pressed them on, what gave them hope and what drove them to continue.

As Beth felt Justin's soft lips on her hand for a moment she was a bit suprised. She had no been expecting that at all. She did not hate the feeling that shot through her hand it only surprised her.

Continuing to just listen to Justin Beth could feel the color come to her own cheeks. Hearing Justin admit he was jealous and that he wanted to be with her Beth's heart thumped in her chest. This is what she had been waiting to here, this is what she wanted to hear for so long and now...now was it to late? She had a date with Zach next week. Someone she cared about and seemed cared about her. 

   "Justin...I...I wanted to hear you say that for so long..."

Beth gives a laugh, this feeling this mixed emotion she had never felt this before, she never felt lost on who she should choose. This was all new to her.

   "Who ever though I'd be so confused with it all. I...it's not to late Justin but I need to go on this date with Zach next week. I have to see if what I feel for you is real and I'm not just attaching myself to you because you helped me. I couldn't do that to you at all."

Looking down at there hands Beth wondered if she was making sense, and if Justin would understand. Now it was her asked for time, to make sure she really did have feelings for Justin and than she wondered if Zach would understand or would it make a bigger mess.

   "Does...that make sense?"

Too Late

Hunter swallows another swig of beer before reaching into his pocket and seeing what the vibration was all about. Leaning on the bar, he swivels the barstool a little, ignoring the loud music and chatter around him. He'd won a race tonight, so he was celebrating. Funny... he was alone. But he could still celebrate, right? 

Squinting at his phone screen, he quirks a grin and quickly replies. 

So when we fall off our motorcycles we 

dont crack those thick heads open.

Wassup and who made the day crappy? 

I'll kick em for u.

Cindy's smile widens and she nods. "You'll find I usually don't give up very easily." She didn't want this to end. But she knew it had to. Looking to Kaylee, she shakes her head. "You ready to go, Pumpkin?" 

Kaylee blows a raspberry and shakes her head vigorously. "More!" She scribbles some more on the paper, the crayon clenched in her little fist. 

"Sorry... I need to get you back to the hotel so we can pack." 

Too soon, the three were standing on the sidewalk, Cindy holding Kaylee on her hip and looking up at Trey. Once more, it was hard keeping her tears in check. She knew she would see Jason again soon. She didn't have the same assurance about Trey. "Well... I'm really glad I came. Oh, and..." She fishes in her pocket, pulling out a piece of paper with her handwriting. "This has my address and my cell phone number. You can call or visit any time... any time at all." 

"Yes!" Kaylee throws up her arms then reaches out to Trey. "Up up!" 

Cindy chuckles and holds her out to Trey for one last hug. "Say goodbye, Kaylee." 

Justin swallows hard and instinctively leans his face into Beth's hand. It was soft and warm and it sent that odd sensation into his stomach again. Turning his head, he kisses her palm before taking her hand and cupping it between both of his. 

"You've said it," he replies quietly. "And you're always welcome." 

Searching her eyes, he can feel a bit of heat rising to his cheeks. "Beth, I..." He bites his lip. "I really am sorry for being such a grouch lately. I guess... maybe I didn't want to admit I was jealous 'cause..." He shrugs and his eyes fall to look at their hands. Maybe he'd been lying to himself all along. "Well, 'cause that would mean I had feelings for you and that always scares a guy like me." 

He gives a sorry sort of laugh and shakes his head, his eyes remaining down. He wasn't used to being on the intimidated end of things. His fingers caress Beth's hand. "But I guess it's true..." 

Though his cheeks were hot, he finally looks back up at her. "It just took me seeing you with Zach to admit it and now I'm afraid it's too late." 

"...No, he's been stalling. Pretty soon though, we're going to force his hand one way or the other." Medridge paces the office, using his cane with each step. "He's a smart one though. I'm intrigued by his reaction through this whole thing."

"Indeed." Garret stood nearby, feet spread and hands behind his back.

"I thought he might retaliate immediately as he has done in the past."

"Maybe his brother wore off on him."

Medridge chuckles. "Perhaps. Although in this case, I doubt anything has worn off on our experiment at all. No... no, this time we have found his very heart and we are drawing it out slowly and painfully."

Though Garret's posture did not move, hie eyes followed Medridge around the office. "Revenge, Sir?"

"Revenge?" Medridge stops and waves his cane at him. "Revenge is for the weak of heart. To take revenge is to wave the flag of defeat, for revenge comes from anger and when angry, no one may win the war. No, no... it is not revenge, my boy." He moves slowly to the far wall that displayed a map of photos, identities, profiles and more. Strings connected lives, families, pasts and futures. "Revenge would be to smite him down with a bullet and be done. This is study. This is the art of dissecting human nature at its finest to test man's strength and worth."

Garret eyes him with little to no emotion. "To what end?"

Medridge turns and smiles a wide smile. "To insanity. And when we have discovered the breaking point of man, we have conquered."

As Garret walks down the corridor several minutes later, his step was as confident and steady as always. But his stomach churned. It was happening more and more lately. A deep, loathsome boiling under the surface. It had started several years ago and had slowly grown against his will - and now he felt it almost every day.

His boots clicked on the slick tile and he paid little heed to the armed guards stationed at each door. They knew better than to threaten him. Armed or not, they'd be dead before they hit the ground. He knew it. And they knew it.

Down a flight of stairs and out onto the grand outdoor foyer overlooking the back yard of lush grass, trees and elaborate landscaping, his eyes were delighted with the beauty. But it simply did not compute. Not anymore. Iron bars surrounded the secluded property, making this an oasis in the midst of silent war. What people wouldn't give to be here. What they had given to be here. There was not one soul here without blood on their hands - including himself.

Down another few stairs, Garret's walk echoes on the stone path as his leather jacket creaked. A handgun was strapped in a holster on his outer thigh - a threat to anyone. But that was only the beginning of his arsenal. No one need know about the other weapons hidden on his person.

Heading through the flower garden, his eyes constantly take in his surroundings. The yard. The fence. The sky. The quiet swimming pool. The conversations happening at various points around the mansion. The quietness was haunting though. For as much evil resided here, there should be guns blazing, bombs exploding and people screaming for help. But it was silent. Still.

Garret turns at the corner of the path, aiming for the stand of trees on the edge of the property. He had reason to be here. It was often that he checked up on the security building to ensure optimum enforcement against any intruders. But today his reason was not inside the building. Instead of entering, he slips around the corner, his ears picking up the sound of the security camera buzzing as it turned to follow his movements. Not a squirrel went unseen on the property. But there were still shadows.

Bending to check a print on the ground, he waits until he hears the camera move again before he slips into the stand of trees. He walks only a short distance to where an old swing hung from an aged limb. It was evidence of an older life... a life before this one, where times were better.

Coming up behind the swing, his arms spread and his rough fingers curl around the rusted chains on either side. His nostrils pick up the sweetened scent of perfume, the golden hair before him stirring softly in a slight breeze. His heart beat a little faster. The churning in his stomach dissolved. She had always been able to do that to him when no one else could. She, the forbidden. She was the only being who had ever been able to bring a chill to his spine with just a look.

"I've been given another two weeks." His voice held a deep, mellow tone, held quietly in this small refuge of peace. "If nothing goes wrong, I may be able to stay even longer before I'm sent back to the States."

Back and forth. That's the way it went, depending on where he was needed. Gradually, he had become closer and closer to Medridge though, allowed more and more to remain on the estate. There were times he had been gone for months. And each time it seemed a little longer. As much as this place was a nightmare, in a twisted way, it was also a haven. And it was also home to his love. But it was a love only she knew of. For to have eyes for Medridge's granddaughter was to sign your own death sentence. She would never be at risk of his wrath, for she was his prize, but Garret walked a fine line.

"That gives us a few more walks together."

Thick Headed

As little pretzel crumbs fly everywhere with Kaylee's thank you Trey can't help but laugh for the first time is eye giving a familiar twinkle that could very well link him to his twin. Trey couldn't help it Kaylee just seemed to melt his heart and make it as soft as mush with her eyes that looked so deep but held no judgment. He was her brother, and she loved him.

   "Watch it there Squirt, you need to eat that breath. Doing both at once is not a good combo."

Sitting back and keeping the chatting light Trey enjoyed talking with his mother. Finding out more about her, about there family and he even shared about himself too. Every now and again looking to Kaylee and giving another laugh.

As the time draws to a closing some how Kaylee had found her way into Trey's lap some paper and a few crayons on the table for her to play with. Leaning down and looking over her shoulder Trey cocks his head just a little bit and looks at the picture.

   "It's a horse right? Wait no...a pig?"

Looking up again and smiling at Cindy Trey's smile fades just a little as his eye catches the time. He was having a nice time today with his sister and his mom. Now they would soon be leaving and he would be alone again. It was no something he was looking forward to, but it was something that gave him hope for the future.

   "I've really enjoyed it too. Thank you...for not giving up."

Just letting Justin run is finger over her palm Beth sits and looks up at him. The small flutter in her stomach returned that she had felt not to long ago. She'd pushed that feeling aside a while ago though because Justin made no move to be more than friends. But now...now she felt it and it confused her just a little bit more.

    "You don't have to worry Justin I will still be your friend, and I will still be around. Just because I have someone else I am spending time with too doesn't mean I am going to forget about you and everything you have done for me."

Letting her hand slip from Justin's Beth brings her hand to the side of his face and just lets her thumb run over his cheek for a moment. It was the first bold move she had ever made but she had made it anyways.

   "and if case I never said it before...thank you."

Walking inside and going right to her room Katie didn't even bother letting anyone know she was home. The rest of the day had been hard and tiring but Katie made it through some how. Now all she wanted to do was bury her face in her pillow and cry not understanding what went wrong.

Letting out the long sigh the reminder sound of her cell phone goes off. She had forgotten that Hunter had texted her before and she never replied or even ready it. Letting out another sigh she lets out a sigh.

Hey, sorry for the late reply. Had a pretty crappy day. You're a man so answer...why are you guys always so thick headed?

Kinda hard

Kaylee giggles and grasps a pretzel, sticking it in her mouth and sucking off the salt. 

Cindy grins, allowing Trey to spoil her. "What do you say, Kaylee?" 

Kaylee murmurs before removing the pretzel and scrunching up her nose with another giggle. "Tank oo." 

It wasn't long before Carson brought the jello and breadsticks, then finally the pizza. Cindy didn't bring up Derek again, keeping conversation light. The meal is enjoyed by all three, Kaylee winding up making quite a mess of her bib with pizza sauce, but it wasn't anything that couldn't be cleaned. Too soon though, time was running out. 

Cindy stirs the ice in her glass with her straw, finding herself disappointed that it was time to leave. Sighing, she looks across at Trey and tries to hide the tears that were behind her eyes. "Thank you for having lunch with me again. I've enjoyed getting to know you... truly." 

Justin doesn't complain when his finger stings under Beth's cleaning. She was doing a good job and being so gentle. With her help though, came another wave of guilt for the way Justin had been talking to her. 

When Beth was finished putting on the bandaid, Justin finds himself grasping her hand before she can withdraw. With his fingers curled around hers, he raises his eyes to hers. "I'm sorry," he apologizes quietly. "I guess I've gotten too used to having you around." 

A crooked and rather sheepish grin curls one side of his mouth. "Kinda hard for a guy like me sometimes." His thumb moves within Beth's palm. "I don't wanna hold you back." 

Having Katie pull her hands away, Jason's chest clenches. He couldn't remember a time she'd ever pulled away from him, and all it did was increase his pain. He hated it. He hated not feeling. He hated feeling the things he did. He hated not being able to even figure out everything he was feeling. And in this moment, there was a part of him that wished he'd never woken up.

"Katie, wait, I..." Too late. She was gone. She was actually gone. She had actually walked away from him. When was the last time they had argued like this? Was it as far back as Texas?

Swallowing hard, Jason stares down at the table. He needed to sit here a while lest the tears actually overflow. He wished his knee was strong enough to go for a motorcycle ride. He could use some open air right about now. But he was stuck... in more ways than one.

Eventually he gets up and pays for the half-eaten meal and leaves the restaurant. He takes his time driving back to work, although he kept his mind from wandering too much. He didn't know what to think or do anymore. Once back at TJY, he heads straight to his office without letting his eyes roam the main floor. He didn't know if Katie had come back here or not, but he didn't want to start anything else.

The rest of the afternoon dragged on and Jason talked to as few people as possible, hibernating in his office. And when he left that evening, he spoke to no one.

Getting home, he hit the couch, his mind bouncing from work to Katie to his mom to Texas to his childhood and back again. His hand hung off the couch to absentmindedly appease Trooper with scratches behind the ears. It had been a very long time since he had felt so confused.

His phone buzzing startles him and he pulls it from his pocket to read the text from Sandy.

Jase! Up for last minute late night bowling? 

Guys and me need an extra player. :)

Sighing, Jason's thumb runs over the buttons as he considers his options. Part of him wanted to go. Part of him didn't. Finally he replies.

Sorry. No go for tonight. Bad day. 

Sandy's reply was quick.

Aw. Sorry. Anything I can do?

Nah. Just a rough spot. 

Wanna talk?

Jason sighs again. Yes. But what would he say? "My girlfriend doesn't like me spending time with you guys"?  No...

Im ok. Talk to u soon. 

He knew Sandy would take the hint that he didn't want to continue the conversation. And she did. No more texts came and he found himself falling asleep on the couch for the night.

Cool Down

Finally pulling her hand away from Jason's Katie was so upset and frustrated she just didn't know how to make Jason understand. It was upsetting her even more because she didn't know how to explain it more than she had and what she was feeling was just so over whelming.

   "Yeah, and there boyfriend don't ignore them and take into consideration there feelings."

Slipping her coat on Katie's voice stayed calm even if her emotions didn't match. She didn't want to make to much of a scene here and embarrass both them themselves. But she just couldn't sit here anymore. She had to clean her head.

    "From now on Jason I'll make sure to stay at home. Sit right by the phone and wait for a call from you that will never come in hopes that maybe you will be asking me to come spend time with you and your friends. If thats what you want to hear, if thats what makes you happy than fine."

Katie couldn't sit there anymore she was to upset and if she talked anymore she wouldn't be able to hold her temper. She was a hot head and she new it so she needed to cool down. Standing Katie new she had come with Jason but she would go back alone. It was a little bit of a walk but she enjoyed walking so it wouldn't bother her.

   "I need to cool down. I'll see you back at the office."

Trey gives a nod to Cindy understanding what she was saying. He was going to take things slow right now though and he wasn't yet ready to meet his father. In time though maybe just maybe he was. 

Hearing Kaylee's shouts looking to her he can't help but grin again and shake his head. Just looking his sister over and seeing her big eyes looking at him it was almost like they were probing way down into him and tugging on his heart. It was something he'd never felt before. Leaning in close to her his eyes give a little sparkle.

   "You're cute and you know it don't you?"

Reaching into his pocket there was a bag inside and inside the bag were pretzel rods. Holding it up under the table a little he looks to Cindy and than back to Kaylee. Bringing his finger to his lips he makes a shhh sound.

   "You can only have one for now so you can have the pizza in a little bit...ok?"

Drawing silent again Beth moves her attachen to the water and than looks around for the dogs. She felt sorry and a little confused why she made him upset. Just staying silent till Justin makes comment about the bandaid Beth gives a nod.

   "Yep, I remembered to pack the little first aid kit."

Pulling it out of her purse and opening it up Beth takes a disinfectant whip and takes Justin's hand in her own. Giving it a little dab she did her best not to press to hard knowing it probley stung a little bit. Than taking the bandage she places it over the cut before looking up at Justina and giving a smile.

   "There you go...right as rain."

Please

"Aw, Katie." Jason was upset, but he hadn't wanted to make Katie cry. He couldn't stand it when he saw her tears. 

Shoving his plate aside, he reaches over to take her other hand holding them both together in his. Desperation shown in his eyes - desperation for her to understand and for him to understand. What had happened to them? How had it happened so quickly? 

"I'm not trying to tell you not to have a friend," he counters firmly, his hands gripping hers. "I get it that you need or want a friend - who doesn't? But I'm your boyfriend..." He stares her in the eye, trying with all his might to get his point across. "...And you're spending time alone with another man. Not only another man, but one you just met. If he were an old friend or somebody like Kyle or something, maybe I'd feel differently. But Katie..." 

He shakes his head, not even knowing what else he could say. "How would Wyatt feel if Aerith all of a sudden met another man and started spending time alone with him? Would you tell him just to chill and not feel bad? Or what if Nikki all of a sudden found another guy to hang out with? What would Pete think? There's not a man on earth who wouldn't feel as if he were losing his girl like I feel I'm losing you." 

There. He'd said it. But the hurt still lingered. Jason swallows hard, keeping his gaze on Katie's eyes. "I understand what you're saying about me and my friends - I guess I didn't even know you felt left out like that. But... but at least I've simply been spending time with a group of old friends... not having dinners and late-night time alone with another woman." His jaw tightens. "It just wouldn't be right, Katie. You have to see that." 

His eyes begged her. "Please... please, if you still care about us at all... stop spending time alone with Hunter. I'm not asking you to not be friends. I'm just asking that you don't go out alone with him. Please." 

Cindy nods at Trey, unsurprised by his response. "I understand. And Derek would too. In his defense though, he didn't even know I was pregnant. He dumped me, yes, but I never gave him the chance to turn away his unborn children. I was too afraid to tell him." 

She shrugs. "And... I guess... somehow after all these years, I've been able to forgive him for what he did - taking advantage of my love like he did. I've seen how he's changed. His daughter Liz, your half-sister, took to Jason pretty quick and I know when she was here recently she wanted to meet you, but it wasn't the right time." 

"Food!" Kaylee furrows her brow unhappily and bangs her hands on her highchair. 

Cindy smirks. "Now, Kaylee, you know better. You have to be patient." 

Kaylee shakes her head stubbornly and looks to Trey instead. "Food!" 

Cindy tries not to laugh. "And going to your brother instead will do you no good." 

Justin keeps his eyes on the pond and he swallows hard. Somewhere nice? It really was a date then. This Zach guy was a fast worker. Was he really to be trusted? Justin hoped so, for Beth's sake, but he couldn't go and hold her hand. 

"That sounds... fun." Wow yeah, what a great response. But what else was he supposed to say? He didn't like this. At all. He didn't like Zach and he didn't think Beth should go out with him. But he had no reason for either one of those things. No logical reason anyway. But was it logic or emotion that was causing the strange pang somewhere deep in his chest? 

Missing another fish, he growls. Reeling in his line, he opts to switch lures and focuses on cutting and retying. He felt badly though. He didn't like not supporting Beth like he usually did. 

"Ouch!" Sticking his bleeding finger in his mouth, he glares at the hook that had torn his skin. "Hey, Beth..." He sucks on his minor wound and checks it again to see that it wasn't going to stop bleeding very easily. "You got a bandaid?" 

"Mmm... that sounds good." Sparky brushes Faith's cheek with his hand. "And thanks. Dylan's had quite a day."

Nodding, he finally releases her so she can get back to her work. "What time should I tell him?"

Understand

   "I understand you need your friends Jason so I am not condemning you. I get that, and thats fine with me. But I need you too and I'd like to go out once and a while with you and your friends. I am sorry you don't understand that I would like to be included too Jason."

Katie did her best to keep her own voice calm. She was angry, she was hurt and it felt like her chest was being ripped out. She didn't understand anything that was going on or why. It was so confusing and it hurt completely.

   "Seeing as I am doing nothing wrong with having a friend who I spend time with I guess I don't see that its wrong. I'm sorry you feel that way, and you think its wrong I have a friend. I don't have anyone else Jason."

A tear rolls down Katie's cheek. She just wanted him to understand. She wanted a friend like he had, and thats it. It made her sad he didn't understand.

Genuinely Surprised

Katie's words stung more than Jason would want to admit. He hadn't expected her to get so upset, and her hand under his felt like ice, as did her tone. His eyes grow dim as he listens, hardly able to believe what she was saying. What was happening here?

As she quiets, Jason's eyes lower. He didn't know whether to withdraw, stay, leave, say something or say nothing. He couldn't remember a time he'd felt so confused. And it hurt.

"I've never been, or ever will be ashamed of you." He responds calmly even though he was deeply upset. "I can't believe you just asked me that." His fingers move around hers a little, but he wasn't even sure if she wanted him to caress her hand or pull away.

Swallowing the urge to yell at her, he finally raises his eyes again. "Since I was in high school, TJY has been my life. I had friends but never had time to get close to anybody or socialize. I never knew until now how much I missed out on. Since meeting back up with some of those old friends, I've been able to reconnect... get to know them again... fill in the blanks from when I was a kid." He shakes his head. "It's something I need, Katie... It's helping me learn to feel things again... and I wish you wouldn't condemn me for it."

He pauses, still trying his hardest to keep control over his emotions, as rampant and strange as they all felt. "I'm sorry you've apparently felt left out - that wasn't my intention. But to me, there's a difference between spending time with a group of friends and going out alone with someone. I trust you, Katie, but I don't trust Hunter, and I'd feel a whole lot better if you'd quit spending time alone with him. It just... dates or not, it just..." He sighs, fishing for the right words and fearing he was just making things worse. "I didn't say anything before because I figured it would pass. But now... with you still seeing him... it isn't right... and I'm genuinely surprised you don't see that."

Confustion

Letting her hand just lay on the table Katie searched Jason's face. It felt like his hand had been on fire with his world and her stomach churned. Dates? Her going on dates? She really couldn't believe what she was hearing.

   "I have not been going on dates thank you very much. I've been going out with a friend, as a friend and nothing more. As for seeing him without other friends I don't have any other friend I can go out with like you do with your own. You want to come with Hunter and me thats fine, we both would have no problem with that. You've never even asked me to come with you. Have the other asked there girlfriends? Something tells me yes."

Katie couldn't help how upset she got. It hurt that Jason would say something like that and all the emotions she had seemed to pour over now. She couldn't help it there was pain written all over her face from his words, from his actions.

   "I understand you don't want me always around and thats the main reason you wanted our connection broken. I get it Jason, and I am not asking to be around all the time...but it would be nice if once and a while you considered asking me to hang out with you guys too so I can get to know them as well. Are you ashamed of me or something? Is that why you never ask?"

She could feel the tears that wanted to build in her eyes though she kept them at bay. No not now she wouldn't shed them. She was to upset, she was to hurt, and she just felt sick. Katie hated fighting with Jason and even more so she hated being at odds with him too.

Finally turning her head she lets her fingers link with his lightly as she looked down at the table. Why, why had they come to this? Why did it have to happen to them? At least with the antidote they could still feel each other a little.

Trey gives a nod willing to try the pizza with all the toppings on it. Even if he ended up not caring for it he'd still eat it. He was hungry and he wouldn't turn down food when it was offered. Something told him though he would like this combination. He liked them all individually so together it sounded even better.

Once Carson was gone and Cindy talks about his dad Trey just looks at her for a long moment. How could she talk so ok about his father? From what she told him he left her before Jason and himself were even born. It made no sense to him why would he want to meet a father that did abandon him?

   "I don't think I'll ever be ready for that one. He really did abandon me, and you. Thats wrong no matter who you are."

As there was a silence that fell between them Beth just watches Justin's for the longest moment. There was a strange vibe she got from even after he started talking again. It was like he was upset or he wanted her to have a bad time with Zach for some reason but she didn't understand why. If he'd told her he liked her than she would understand, but he hadn't, not even made a move twords that. She'd waited for a while not for him to do so but nothing ever happened she just figured they were friends.

Hearing Justin's question Beth gives a little shake of her head. She didn't know where they were going and in a way that excited her a little bit more because it would be a nice surprise.

   "No, I don't know where we are going. It's going to be a surprise. Zach said I should get dressed up nice though so I am guessing that means a nice restront or something."

Beth wasn't sure what else to say about the whole thing at this point. She didn't want to upset Justin anymore about it though it did bother her that something about it was bothering him. But she wouldn't ask not now.

Smiling and open her eyes once again Faith new she better keep cutting the apples for the pie or it would never get done in time for after dinner. She liked to bake them slow it helped the apples bring out more juice and make them softer. 

   "I don't mind at all if Dylan comes over for dinner. I found a nice roast at the store that I was going to make so the more the merrier."

  

Have to?

Eric winces as Angel pokes and prods, but he doesn't resist. Sighing, he nods at her as he dresses himself again. "Yeah.... okay. Although I'm not much good around here just sitting and doing nothing." 

He glares at the floor for a moment, thinking about giving Ashlee her riding lesson anyway. He'd figure out how. 

Standing, he gives Angel a grateful look. "Thanks for your help." 

"Mm... yeah, we got the job done." Sparky keeps his arms around Faith and rocks her a little. "Maybe even more than that." 

Finally letting her loose, he turns her around to give her a tender kiss on the lips before smiling. "Would it be alright if he came over for supper? I think he could use a little time away from everybody else for just a while." 

Justin listens quietly to Beth, glad she'd enjoyed herself. It was good she was getting out and doing new things... being with other people. How far she'd come really was amazing. 

Looking down at his fishing line to work out a kink with his fingers, his attention snaps back to Beth as she mentions a date. Perhaps he didn't even realize the surprised look on his face. Thanks to his help? Thanks to his help, she was going to go on a date with Zach. Why did that just feel wrong? 

"Oh." He blinks and returns his gaze to the water. "That's..." He needed to snap out of it and give her a good response or it could potentially harm her confidence - and she certainly didn't need that. "That's real good, Beth." He looks over at her again and forces a smile. "I'm glad you two are getting along so well. I'm proud of you for branching out." 

He was. He really was. It was just that... He reals in his line and casts again. For some reason, his mother's story returns to him. Beth was spreading her wings and starting to fly. Was he allowing himself to be left behind? But wasn't that his job? That's what he was supposed to do, wasn't it? He helped people feel better and they went on their way. But... Beth was different. Beth was his friend. Beth was... special to him.

Gritting his teeth, he feels a tug on his line and jerks it too hard, missing the fish. Why he felt angry all of a sudden, he didn't know. Or did he? 

"So um..." He clears his throat. "Where are you two going?" 

"Pepperoni is good." Carson doesn't miss a beat as he nods at Trey. "If you want a little adventure, I can throw on some onions and green peppers."

"And mushrooms," Cindy adds. "That would make it perfect." She smiles at Trey. "Something tells me you'd like anchovies too, but I'm not that daring."

Carson chuckles. "Great. One pizza coming up and.... a dish of jello and some breadsticks on the house..." He tickles Kaylee. "So this little hulk will have something to munch on."

Cindy laughs and nods. "Thanks, Carson. How'd you know jello was her favorite?"

"Eh. A hunch."

After ordering drinks too, the three are able to sit and wait for their food. Cindy sighs and just looks across at Trey, not saying anything for several long moments. "Ya know... sometime... if you want... I know your dad would like to meet you too. But that's up to you."

Jason can't help it that he bristles a little at Katie's words. Did she have to give him just another jab about him and his friends? There was nothing wrong with him spending time with people from his childhood and he knew that. He'd never intentionally hurt Katie's feelings, but he couldn't help but feel she was being overly sensitive. Why couldn't she stand to be without him at all anymore? Was it just because they'd spent so long connected that now it felt they had nothing, even when they did? Was that why she was retaliating? At least he saw his own friends as a group and not just Sandy alone - he'd turned her down more than once.

The jealousy when thinking about Hunter flares again and Jason's eyes lower. He knew Katie had been hanging out with Hunter more and more lately. And it had made him angry more than once. But he'd said nothing, hoping it would all just pass. 

"I guess I don't know what normal is supposed to be like either," he mumbles quietly. Suddenly he didn't feel like finishing his meal and he felt rotten for spoiling their lunch. 

Finally looking back up at Katie, his eyes held a new look... pain. It was an emotion he'd rather not have ever felt again at all. "At least... I haven't been going on dates." His tone was quiet - not angry. Just sad and confused. Maybe if they were still connected he'd understand why she'd been hanging out alone with Hunter, but he didn't. 

Sliding his hand across the table, he curls his fingers around hers. "Do you have to keep seeing Hunter alone?" 

Feelings

As the shadow form on the table Trey looks quickly to Kaylee almost in a pouncing fashion in case it was something that was going to harm his sister. Seeing it was Carson though Trey relaxes a little bit. He hadn't meant to get defense but maybe there was still a few things he needed to get use too. Being on guard was just second nature.

Looking back to Cindy at the mention of pizza Trey can feel his stomach grumble a little bit. He hadn't realized how hungry he was till now. The thought of the mouth watering pizza sure did sound good though. He's only had it once but he could tell it some something that was going to become his most liked food.

   "I...don't know what kind I like. I only tried pizza for the first time the other day. It had pepperoni on it and that was pretty good. Other than that though...I don't know."

Trey felt silly saying he didn't know what he liked on a pizza. It seemed so normal for so many people to have pizza here and him he had no idea what was good and what wasn't. It really at this point was trial and error.

Looking down at her glass again and than looking up at Jason Katie just study's him for a long moment. His question had so many answers and she wasn't sure what one she should say first or at all. It was a loaded question with no answer. Where they ok? Where they really?

   "I...I think we are...arnt we? I mean other than not being as close, not hanging out together as much...I guess thats what normal people do right? One person has there friends, and the other person has there friends and they dont....mingle together?"

Katie did her best not to be upset, or sound bitter. She didn't know how to explain this or what words tor really say. This whole emotionally not being connected and trying not to explain how she felt...it pretty much sucked.

   "Not to sure how this whole being normal things goes. I'm still just playing by ear."

Sitting in the grass and watching Justin fish every now and than Beth would give up and play with the dogs, pet them or throw a stick they would bring to her. Now though they were off somewhere doing something and it was her time to relax. The sun was warm and the breeze was nice not making it to hot.

   "Yes Zach is his first name. The other day was pretty fun. She showed me around the animal shelter and I think I might volunteer there once or twice a week. Than we went for ice cream and look at old antiques. It was kind of fun looking at the old stuff most people forget about."

Leaning back on her arms Beth looks out across the water watching the ripples, and the dragon flys darting to and fro. It was so peaceful here she liked it, it was quiet, and what noises there were, were soft and comforting.

   "He also asked me out on a date sometime next week. I...figured I need to branch out a little bit so I told him yes. I am kind of nervous about it because I've never been on a date before...But thanks to your help I am ready to try some new adventures so on top of being nervous I am kind of excited too."

Feeling Tyler's arms slip around her Faith gives a smile. Even if she hadn't heard him come into the house and new his touch and she could tell it was him. There was just something about it that gave her chills before he even spoke.

   "Hey there handsome, of course I missed you. I always do when your out working."

Setting the knife down that was busy cutting up some apples for a pie Faith brings her hands to Sparky's and leans back against him slightly for a moment closing her eyes and just soaking up his comfort and being close. She wasn't sure if he had more work to do or not so she would get all she could, while she could.

   "Did you and Dylan get everything done that you needed too?"

Looking down at Eric's leg Angel pokes a little, moves it a little and prods it but does it in a gentile nature unlike most doctors.  Going over to her cabnit she grabs an ointment and rubs some of it on Eric's leg before returning it to its place.

   "Don't worry nothing is wrong that was just some iceyhot to try and see if we can get the muscles loosened a little bit. You're leg is extramly stiff, and was over worked yesterday. You need to take it easy today and not be on it for long amount of time."

Angel puts her hands on her hips and looks at Eric in a stern manor. If he didn't start taking it easy he was going to never give it time to heal than it would turn into a bigger problem than need be. 

   "I'll be checking on you through out the day and if your not taking it easy I'll make Mick tie you down so you will. Understand me?"

  

Breakdown

Eric smiles and looks back to Stacy with a nod. "Yeah... I'll be around unless there's an earthquake and my bunk gets swallowed up." 

He tosses her a wink. Reaching up, he gives her shoulder a little squeeze. "G'night, Stacy." After a little pause, he finally turns and heads towards his bunkhouse. There was a part of him that was very wide awake. And a part of him that was exhausted. He knew he'd regret it in the morning if he didn't at least try to sleep. 

Once inside, he flops down on his bed with a groan. Touching his leg gingerly, he winces. He'd ignored it all day long and had a good job not favoring it - now he was paying for it. It had been worth it though... A grin creeps across his lips. Different.... very different... but worth it....

"...yeah so...I guess I was on my feet a little too much yesterday." Eric sits on Angel's table, giving her a bit of a sheepish look. He'd taken his meds last night and iced his leg down for quite a while before finally going to sleep. But by this morning it had been so stiff he'd barely been able to get out of bed. He'd made it to Angel's before most others were up and hoped he'd be able to at least work in the barn by late morning if he could loosen up enough. 

"Kinda... just stiff I guess but figured I should let you look at it."

Sparky leans on the corral fence and watches as Dylan struggles to keep Sharpshooter under control. The gelding was giving his rider a much harder time than normal, fighting the big and crow-hopping around the corners.

Dylan grits his teeth, maintaining a firm grip on his reins. Keeping his heels down and his seat planted in the saddle, he was doing all he could, but was growing more frustrated. As Sharpshooter throws his head again, Dylan gives the bit a yank, fed up with how today's ride was going.

Sparky holds up his hand, waving him over. "Bring him in, Dylan. I think that's enough for  today."

Dylan scowls but does as he's told. It was only after he'd dismounted and was untacking in the barn that Sparky approaches him. Grabbing a towel to rub down Sharpshooter, he glances over at the young man. "What's up, Dylan?"

"With what? This beast? I have no idea."

Sharpshooter lays his ears back as Dylan rubs him down a little roughly. Sparky nods. "Take a step back."

"What?"

"Step back. Do it."

Thought not understanding why, Dylan steps back from from the horse. "Yeah?"

"Take a good hard look at this horse and tell me why he's been misbehaving all morning."

It takes a few moments, but eventually, Dylan's shoulder's drop. "You're telling me he's been reacting to me, aren't you?"

"I'm not. Sharpshooter is though."

Dylan sighs and steps back up to the horse more gently this time. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ridden at all today."

"Maybe." Sparky continues working slowly. "Something bothering you?"

"No."

"Ah. Okay."

Dylan pauses and looks over at his uncle before sighing again. There was a lot bothering him. Ever since Dan had brought him back, it felt like he was at the bottom of a dark pit, and ironically, today seemed worse after last night. "I dunno. Guess I'm just thinking about last night."

"Oh? You didn't have a good time?"

"No, I did... I just..." Dylan's eyes lower. "I got to thinking about it afterward, and I figure I really didn't deserve to be included like that."

Sparky tips back his hat a little and leans on Sharpshooter. "I find very few things I actually deserve..." He cocks his head. "But that doesn't mean I'm not supposed to accept what others give."

When Dylan falls silent, Sparky studies him closely. He felt badly for the young man and knew he must be in awful turmoil much of the time. It was obvious to him that Dylan needed to release a lot of things he was keeping stuffed inside. But would he? "Got a job for you today unless you've got too much schoolwork."

"I always do," Dylan scoffs. "What'dya got?"

Sparky chuckles. "I need a hand - I gotta go work on a section of fence. Just gonna take a four-wheeler. Thought I'd do it over lunch if I can get Faith to make us a couple sandwiches."

Dylan shrugs. Sounded better than eating inside a crowded dining room or skipping and being chided for it. "Yeah sure."

"Good. Let's finish up with this brute then and I'll see you back here in a couple hours."

"...so I guess 'cause I was working as a mechanic, the nickname stuck and it's been with me ever since." Sparky struggles to tighten a strand of wire around the fence post, needing Dylan's help to hold it in place.

Dylan shakes his head. "Faith's the only one I hear call you Tyler."

Sparky chuckles. "Yeah, well... I guess when somebody's that special to ya, they can get away with more than other people."

Dylan almost grins. He'd never say so, but he thought Sparky and Faith were kind of cute together. Her being so much younger and Sparky still obviously head over heels for her. It was... refreshing. He wondered if it was a rarity. "You think everybody has a chance at having somebody... well... special like that?"

Setting the wire with a grunt, Sparky straightens and wipes his brow. "I do think so. Not everybody takes the opportunity when it's there, but I think there's a chance for everybody, yeah."

"Like... my dad and Rosetta?" Dylan's eyes had dropped to the ground as he toys with an extra piece of wire. He hadn't really meant to ask that out loud, but it had slipped. It was just the first thing that had popped into his mind since he often wondered about it - the subject of his dad and Rosetta and how they'd ended up together after all those years.

Sparky quirks an eyebrow. "Well I suppose so. I mean, they're pretty special to each other as far as I can tell."

"Yeah..."

"You don't think so?"

"Nah." Dylan shrugs. "I do. I just figure Dad loves Rosetta more than he did Mom is all. Like he was supposed to be with Rosetta all along."

Sparky frowns and takes off his gloves to lean on the fence post. "What are you getting at?"

"Well I couldn't ever see my dad abandoning her or BJ." Again the words were out before Dylan realized it.

Now Sparky understood. "But... he did abandon you and your family?"

"Well didn't he?"

Sparky sighs deeply. He could see the bitter anger in his nephew's eyes but didn't know what to do about it. "I'm not gonna pretend to know what happened. But from what I understand, due to Agency interference, your mom told him to leave."

"He coulda fought longer," Dylan grumbles. He hadn't intended to talk about any of this, but now that it was the topic of choice, he might as well ride it out, especially when he was out of Mick's earshot. "He wouldn't let the Agency win now if his life depended on it. Not when Rosetta and BJ are involved."

"Hey." Sparky looks at him sternly. "I don't know why he gave up then. But there were a lot of factors in play at the time, and you can't keep on blaming him like this. He loves you to no end. I think you know it and just aren't willing to accept it."

"But he-"

"He has fought tooth and toenail to keep you here and keep you safe. Do you know how many times he has fought your mother just to have another chance at getting to know you? Not a day goes by that I don't see him watching you just to make sure you're okay. And when he sees you working or sees you on a horse, there's not a man more proud." Sparky sets his hands on his hips. "I don't know what happened before or whether he'd do the same thing today or not. But the past is the past and the Mick I know today loves you."

Dylan fights his churning emotions and the burning behind his eyes. He digs his toe in the ground, not willing to look up at Sparky. He remembered the phone call he'd heard when Dan had brought him back, but it didn't erase what had happened prior. "He doesn't even trust me not to hurt an innocent girl."

"Ah. Still hanging onto that one too?"

"Wouldn't you?" Dylan shoots him a glare. "If roles were switched, would you have done differently?"

Sparky doesn't leave time for thinking - only praying somewhere in the split seconds between words. "Well what did you do?"

"I did the only thing I know how." Dylan's glare remains as his eyes glisten. He didn't know why he felt so angry all of a sudden, but if he didn't speak, he feared getting sick. He'd talked to no one about this, but Sparky's question was too blunt to ignore. "I went out, shot myself up with drugs, hung out with old pals and I probably slept around a bit too, although some nights I don't even remember what I did."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets he turns to hide the emotions on his face, choosing to pace a few feet away. "That's all I know how to do, ya know... that's all I did before. Drugs, booze, girls... I was younger than Ashlee when it all started. Can you imagine her going out and letting a guy have his way with her while she's shooting up on drugs? Huh? No, that would be despicable! But not for me. That's just who I am."

Sparky doesn't know what to say, so he remains silent. He wasn't sure what had triggered this explosion but he knew it was best to let it ride.

Dylan kicks at a clod of dirt. "I shoulda just killed myself when I had the chance. At least then nobody would have to keep their eye on me anymore or worry about me doing anything stupid."  He spins around and stares at Sparky. "Do you know how close I was to pulling to that trigger?" He holds up his fingers. "This close. And Dan talked me out of it."

Sparky swallows hard and tries to keep his voice steady. "I'm glad he did."

"No you're not. No one is." Dylan's words were spat in an anger he didn't even understand. "I wasn't worth fighting for when I was a kid and I'm not now."

"That's a lie!" Sparky couldn't help it that his volume rose. He couldn't imagine what would have happened if Dylan had actually ended his life. It was heartbreaking. "Don't buy into it," he orders sternly. "That's a lie from the devil himself. You are worth so much more than you think, and you're certainly worth fighting for."

Dylan turns again and slams his fist onto a fencepost. The pain in his hand didn't compare to the pain in his heart though. His jaw quivers as unwanted tears roll slowly down his face. "Maybe I was once," he counters, "but I'm not anymore."

"That's another lie." Sparky takes a step closer but doesn't yet invade the boy's space. He was talking to Dylan's back but prayed his words would be heard. "So you made some mistakes. So what? We all do."

"Not my kind of mistakes." Dylan shakes his head. "Do you even know what I've done?!"

"I know some but-"

"Do you know how many times I begged for drugs? Do you know what I did to get them? Do you know how many times I gave in to my so-called friends' demands just for one more shot?" Dylan swipes angrily at his eyes. He had not spoken of any of this since he'd admitted his past to Rosetta and Mick. But it had just been raw facts, that was all. Today... this was release. "Do you know how many girls I slept with? Do you know what they made me do in front of others just to taunt me and make fun of me before finally giving me more drugs? Do you know how many mornings I woke up without even knowing where I'd been the night before?!"

Sparky's heart ached more with each of Dylan's angry words. "No... no, I don't know. But I don't need to. Because nothing, nothing, is worth you giving up your life for. You are more than your actions. More than your past. More than your mistakes."

"Then why does my father judge me on them?!" Dylan whirls around, not caring anymore about his uncle seeing his tears. "That's all he remembers! Sure, when Dan brought me home, he was raising heck with my mom and saying all sorts of great things about me. But what about the next time I screw up? What then?" He throws up his hands. "Is he just gonna bring up my mistakes again? My bad reputation in front of my friends again? Is he just gonna use my past against me like he always does? He doesn't trust me now and he never will. So you tell me how I'm more than my mistakes."

Staring into Dylan's glare, Sparky doesn't back down. Taking another step forward, he sets his hands firmly on Dylan's shoulders. "Your father is not exempt from mistakes either." He searches Dylan's eyes for any sign of hope. "As much as you deserve forgiveness, so does he. Maybe he hasn't been the best of fathers. Maybe he doesn't even know how. But the bottom line is that he loves you. And if you think otherwise, then that's just one more lie you've chosen to believe."

Dylan tries to control his tears, finding it hard to speak. He wanted to believe his uncle. He wanted to so badly. But how could he? "When I left..." He chokes and pauses before finding his voice again. "...All I could think about was when I was a little kid. I still see him driving away and Mom holding me back from running out the door. It's one of the earliest memories I've got. And when he accused me of hurting Ashlee, all I could think about was him walking away from me again."

Drawing in a ragged breath, he shakes his head. "I knew I could find my buddies, and I did. And I knew what they'd have for me. And I hated every moment of it. I despised myself every time I stared at the needle or was enticed by one of the girls. Every moment, I loathed myself more. And I figured..." Another tear cascades down his cheek and his voice cracks. "I figured if I hated myself that much, that Dad must hate me ten times more than that. There was no point in trying to get away or to do something else. When I was left alone, there was a gun. I was scared and so I texted Dan and he talked me out of doing anything... But I wish he hadn't. I wish-"

"No!" Sparky gives his shoulders a jolt. "No you don't!" His own gaze had become a glare. "You've felt abandoned, you've made mistakes, and you've felt unloved. I am so sorry that you have gone through any of that, let alone all of it. But Dylan, so help me, if you ever think about something like that again, I'll..." He stops himself before saying anything stupid, and he shakes his head instead. "You come to me first and I'll tell you why your life is worth living."

Dylan sniffs and wipes his eyes. "Last night... when I was in town... I had a lot of fun. I got to know Eric a little better and Stacy too and... and I enjoyed hanging around Ashlee too." He swallows hard. "And when I got home, I started to realize that somewhere along the way, I missed out on being a kid, ya know?"

"I know..." Sparky nods. "I know."

"And then I realized how much innocent fun I'd missed out on... how since that one bad choice, my innocence could never be bought back. My actions were like a stain I couldn't wash off. And last night... I realized how far I was from where I should be... should have been."

Sparky nods again. "And that's okay, Dylan... it really is. I'm so proud of you for seeing that because you know what that means? It means you're ready to move on. You made mistakes, you've admitted them, and now you're going through the awful pain of realizing just what you really did. But once you get through this, that stain won't matter. You are so much more than your actions. And don't forget... you've made bad choices, but that first time... it wasn't you, remember?"

Dylan knew it. He knew he'd been forced into taking drugs and had been manipulated until he was hooked. "I still should have resisted. I should have told somebody."

"Yeah, probably. But you can't blame just yourself for what happened. You never would have gone back to that life recently if you'd never been there in the first place, and you never would have been there in the first place if it hadn't been for the Agency."

"I know... but I still... there were days... I... I did like it."

"And that's the only part you gotta work on." Sparky desperately wanted to help and had no idea if anything he was saying was making any sense. "You're okay, Dylan. You're safe, you're loved... you're going through some growing pains, but we all do at some point or another. Don't let it win... please..."

New tears spring into Dylan's eyes. "It just... it hurts..."

Pulling his nephew in, Sparky wraps his arms around him in a firm hug. "I know it hurts... there's nothing anybody can do about that. But it won't last... I promise... if you keep going and don't give up, it won't last..."

For once, Dylan was too tired to resist the comfort offered. Leaning into his uncle, the sobs that had been held back for so long, finally come spilling out.

Sparky closes his eyes and doesn't let go. The boy's pain was so intense he could almost feel it himself. And he was so thankful that Dylan had survived this long. If only he could hang on a little longer... keep going just a little more... God, please bring healing. Please... please help me help this boy. He needs You and needs to feel love so badly... don't let me fail, please...

  "...Here."

Dylan looks over at Sparky to see a sandwich being offered to him. He shakes his head and leans back against the tree, under which they were sitting. He felt utterly exhausted and just wished they were closer to home so he could sink into bed.

Sparky doesn't give up and nudges him with an elbow. "You need to eat something. Otherwise Faith will think you didn't like her cooking."

"Yeah, right." Dylan knew it was just a ploy, but he gives in anyway and finally accepts the food. After a couple bites, he takes a swig of lemonade from the thermos.

Sparky was glad Dylan was eating something - he needed it. After their time at the fence, they'd come to sit under this tree in the shade and had had a much calmer talk. A few more tears had been shed, but Sparky knew that today marked the day that true healing had begun. Dylan had a very hurt heart - but slowly, slowly the wounds would heal, and today he'd allowed the first steps to take place.

Sighing, Dylan leans his head back against the rough bark and chews his sandwich. "I'm sorry," he mumbles quietly.

"For what?"

"I dunno... everything. Venting on you. Making a fool out of myself."

Sparky pats Dylan's leg. "First off, you don't need to be sorry for venting, and second, you didn't make a fool out of yourself. On the contrary, only a fool looks in a mirror, sees a smudge of dirt, then turns around and walks away. Today you stayed and wiped that smudge off before turning back around."

Dylan thought he understood. And he was grateful. "You're not... gonna like... tell anybody, are you?"

"Hey, what happens out here stays out here. This is between you, me, God, and nobody else unless you're the one that invites them."

"Okay." Dylan glances out the corner of his eye, studying Sparky for a moment or two. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Dylan... Anytime."

It took a while to finish the work they'd set out to do, but for once, Dylan didn't mind. His body and mind were so tired, but he kept working the best he could. After all he'd just been through, he felt utterly drained. And yet... at the same time... he felt a little lighter. As if some of his burden had finally been lifted. He knew it wasn't over yet. He knew that he couldn't heal overnight. But maybe today was the first time he wanted to heal. Part of him felt embarrassed for opening up like he had... and part of him was glad. He didn't know what tomorrow would look like, but at least for today he felt like he'd finally taken a small step forward. And that was enough to give him courage to keep going...

...Pulling in on the four-wheeler near the barn, Dylan slides off from behind Sparky, ready to call it quits for the day. If he could get his mind to concentrate, he really did need to accomplish some school today. As far as any socializing went... he'd rather hibernate. Starting to walk away, Sparky stops him.

"Hey?"

Dylan turns. "Yeah?"

"Would you like to come over and eat dinner with Faith and me tonight?" Sparky shrugs. "I'm kinda not wanting the crowd tonight and I'm sure Faith wouldn't mind."

Dylan's eyebrows rise. He was being invited over? He didn't even know Faith all that well. Did he really want to be around anybody at all? A quiet supper was... kind of appealing. He finds himself nodding. "Okay. Just let me know what time or whatever."

"You got it." Sparky gives him a wave before steering the four-wheeler towards the garage. "See you later then."

Dylan rolls his leather gloves in his hands and wanders towards his bunkhouse. Once there, he retrieves a couple school books and goes to sit on his little porch, trying his best to get his mind on world history and math.

...Sparky brushes some dirt off his jeans before stepping up onto the porch and letting himself into the house. Spying Faith in the kitchen, he grins and comes up behind her, knowing she'd heard him. Slipping his arms around her waist, he leans his chin over her shoulder and gives her cheek a kiss. "Hello, my love." He gives her a loving squeeze. "Miss me?"

Justin smiles a little to himself, glad Beth was wiling to ride with him. There had been a time she wouldn't have. "Great..." He wraps up the subs and puts them in the cooler too. "I guess we're ready to go then!" 

It didn't take too long to get everything in the pickup, dogs and all, and head to the pond. It was a nice day to roll down the windows and just enjoy the fresh outdoor air. 

...Relaxed and sitting in the grass, Justin slowly reels and casts again, fingering the line and keeping his eyes squinting on the sparkling water. The dogs tramp around in the taller grass, flushing out rabbits, chasing each other, or taking turns going to Beth for attention. 

Justin looks over at Beth and grins. Though not letting things bother him today... he did want to ask. "So... how was your day hanging out with... Zach? That's his name right?" 

"Mm... the knee's doing alright." Jason shrugs. "Still some bad days but overall it's doing alright. I try to ignore it when it hurts. Rick's still breathing down my neck about taking it easy though so he still hasn't released me to work on hard cases for Reese yet." He rolls his eyes. 

It was strange, explaining to Katie all this. There had been a time when she would have already known how his knee was doing. She would have felt some of the pain herself and known.  

Fiddling with his soda pop glass, Jason clears his throat. Another awkward pause. Why?? He hated it. Finally looking up at Katie again, he sighs. The words had been on the tip of his tongue for longer than he'd care to admit. Maybe it was finally time to let them out. 

"Are we okay?" 

Cindy smiles and cocks her head. "Each day I stay away, it makes it a little harder to go back. I know I have to before I'd rather leave it all behind." 

A new look of pleasure enters her eyes at Trey's suggestion of him visiting. "I would love for you to come sometime. I really would. You're... welcome any time." 

"Yes!" Kalyee yells and throws up her hands. "Food! Hungry!" She hadn't noticed the shadow of someone behind her and when a face comes down over her shoulder she jumps, her eyes going wide before she falls into a fit of giggles. 

Carson grins and tugs her pigtails teasingly. "I think somebody needs food before they turn into a mini hulk." 

Cindy laughs. "You're probably right. We better order something." 

Straightening, Carson folds his arms, not needing a pen and paper. "What'll it be?"

"Pizza, of course. What else?" 

He grins again. "Right." 

Cindy nods at Trey. "What kind do you like?"

Head out

Walking with Eric talk was limited but Stacy didn't mind one bit. The whole night had been filled with chatter and just having Eric walking with her now was nice. The silence wasn't awkward and just simple looks, and gestures spoke louder than any would possible could have.

Giving a smile to Eric as they came to a stop by the bunks Stacy didn't want the night to end but she new it must. Normal people wernt use to staying up this late, and when it came to the people at the ranch waking up at six was late, so staying up till two or three was a no go.

   "I need to get use to ranch life bed early up early, but than again...I guess that will never be my life, since rounds are always at this time."

Stacy gives another smile to show she was not sad about it. Habits were hard to break and she often wondered if she ever would. Something told her no though. It was the job and she loved it more than anything.

   "Good Night Eric. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Going to the fridge Beth grabs the bottles of water and walks over to the cooler. Moving them around in the ice a little bit to get them extra cold she smiles looking to Justin. She was happy he wouldn't mind if she came to church with him again. She liked it there and having someone she new that she could talk too if she had questions was nice too.

   "I think...I'll ride with you. Not point in taking two cars if we are going to the same place."

Scarlet lets out a chuckle at Eli's comment. It was fun to be able to tease each other and know that thats all it was. It was just a nice feeling to know the respect was there and there understanding was the same so there was no worry. That was important to Scarlet and she liked knowing Eli was on the same page.

   "Good, because I don't think I ever do want to get rid of you."

Leaning in and giving Eli another kiss on the lips quick Scarlet pulls away and finally slips down off his bike letting her hand linger on his before walking over to her bike and getting on taking her helmet in her hands.

   "Alright, lets head out before its to late for a movie."

Hearing there was concert coming up Katie gives a nod. She would never miss it for anything. She always liked playing the bodyguard and she didn't plan on stopping now. As Jason mentions Sandy though Katie can't help but tense a little bit. Happy he quickly moved on her did her best to just move on with it. She didn't want to right, upset or put a sour taste in anyones mouth today.

   "Of course I will be there. I wouldn't miss it for anything. I'd call you crazy if you think I would."

Taking a sip of her water Katie looks down at swishes the ice cubes around a little bit before putting the glass down. Looking up at Jason again Katie gives a small smile. So far today it had been an enjoyable one. Maybe things were starting to change, maybe...just maybe things would be ok.

   "So hows you knee feeling?"

Looking across the table at his mother Trey could see the sad look in his mother eyes about going home. What a feeling it must be to miss home but know when you get there ghosts and memories where the only thing waiting for you. 

   "Maybe you should stay a few more days? Couldn't hurt right?"

Glancing over at Kaylee as she squirms around in her chair and babbles away about nothing special Trey laughs to himself. He wondered if he had that much energy when he was a kid. Something told him though that Kaylee got all her's from her father. From what Cindy had said about Wes he seemed like a good guy who had loved life, and never slowed down a bit never wanting to miss anything. 

   "Once you do leave though...maybe...I can come see you. I've never been to Texas before."