Feeling the warmth of the sun on her face Beth slowly tries to stretch only to relies she couldn't go far. She had forgotten where she was but quickly remembers. She had been with Justin the whole night keeping an eye on him and making sure his fever didn't get to high. Cocking her head a little bit Beth smiles as Justin starts to stir.
Sitting up as he does Beth gives a stretch now that she can. Her back was a little stiff from sleeping in the same position but it was worth it being able to keep her eye on Justin.
"Morning, and you shouldn't be going anywhere. Your still sick. You should be resting still."
Seeing Justin shiver again Beth takes the blankets and puts them back on him lifting them up to his chin. Tucking it in around him a little more she gives a smile.
"You are sick. You've been sick all night thats why I am here. Let me go make you some tea and a little breakfast I'll be right back."
Following Kip into his room Karla sinks down on the bed with him. She wished he would of eaten a little more but if he didn't want to than he couldn't be forced. Karla was also thankful that she had been given permission to stay here the night with Kip. She didn't want to leave him. Not now with everything that was going on.
"Hey, I bet your own bed is gonna feel good tonight."
Giving a little smile Karla cocks her head to try and look at Kip's face a little more. Seeing the tear in his eye though Karla's smile fades a little and heart breaks even more. Scooting back on the bed so she was behind him she softly drapes her arm over him holding him close to her while her other hand plays with his hair.
"It's going to be ok Kip. I promise you its going to be ok. Shhh....we will get through this, I wont let you face the dark alone."
Looking to Kyle once the rest of the room clear Alice gives a smile. She was tired, but never to tired to shair time with Kyle. Seeing the glazed glint in his eye she could see he was tired too. They had all had a long say with stress and worry that just seemed to make it worse.
"I'm ready whenever you are babe!"
Coming over to Kyle Alice slips her arm around his wast. It wasn't often they showed a lot of affection around others but this was one of those days that was just not like the norm. A little extra comfort was ok, and needed to mend broken hearts.
12/2/10
Unable
Being drawn closer to Beth, Justin doesn't resist. He was too weak in mind and body to fight anything at all, so he simply leans into her, trying to soak up any comfort she had to offer. He'd felt so alone this whole time... he no longer had the strength to continue on his own.
His shouts of agony subside, though the tears continue for a while longer. Just keeping his head resting against Beth and feeling her arm around him seemed to help form a shield in his mind - a shield to protect him against the torrent of mental attacks. Soon, the tears begin to slow as well until once more, his breathing has calmed and his body's rocking has ceased. Exhausted and drenched in sweat, there's not much else Justin's body can do but give in to sleep again.
So sleep he does, still leaning against Beth, oblivious to the time of night or anything else going on.
The rest of the night is only interrupted once more by a less frightful nightmare without the tears. It's enough to wake Justin and cause him to have another slight panic attack, but it doesn't take him long to calm down once more and sleep again, still close to Beth...
...The morning sun peeks just over the horizon, sending red-orange light across the sky. Mellow beams of light stream in through the living room windows, creating a warm glow. Justin stirs and tries to open his eyes, though his mind was still trapped in what felt like a thick layer of cobwebs. What time was it? Come to think of it, what day was it? He really had no idea.
Moving a little, it surprises him to find that there's a warm body under his head. Then he realizes that it's Beth and they were both lying on the couch. His head was near her shoulder and one arm was draped around her, the blanket keeping both of them warm. When had she gotten there? Had she been there all night? How? Why? His head hurt too much to try and figure it all out.
Though his fever had gone down a few times, he could feel it was still high, making his whole body ache. He didn't even want to move. There was something he needed to do though, he was sure of it. Something he'd forgotten... something...
"I gotta get up," he comments lethargically. "Too much to do... Bein' fine to go and up..." He furrows his brow, knowing that whatever he'd just said made no sense at all, but he really had no idea what he'd been meaning to say anyway. "You know what I mean."
Feeling a chill, he shivers and burrows himself into the back of the couch a little deeper. "I must be sick," he muses.
The lights were still on at Gram and Gramps, and Gram appears at the door, smiling and waving for Alice to come in. Once inside together, she explains that she and Gramps knew about Kip and were waiting up for the others to get here so they could make sure Kip was okay and settled.
It was only a few minutes later when the other two cars finally arrive. Erik parks by the curb and glances to the backseat. "We're home, Kip," he mentions gently.
Kip had been half asleep and nods lamely but takes a few moments to actually sit up. After not moving for several hours, his body hurt even more, and he almost wishes he could just stay in the car all night. His gaze drifts to Karla in the dark but he doesn't say anything. He manages to get himself out of the car, and Erik was right there to help him.
Walking slowly up the sidewalk, Kip leans on Erik, his bandaged arm wrapped around his ribs and his sights making sure Karla was still there, too. The porch steps were agonizing, but he bites back the pain. Once they're inside, part of him was relieved, and part of him was not. Though he glued his gaze to the floor, he could feel pairs of eyes on him, making this whole thing even more uncomfortable.
Turning from her place at the window, Gram puts a hand over her mouth, tears glistening in her eyes at the sight of Kip. Kyle had told her what happened, but she still hadn't been prepared for him to look this bad. He hadn't been living here all that long, but already he was like a grandson and her heart went out to him. "Oh, Kip..." Approaching him slowly, she reaches out with a gentle hand to lay on his shoulder. "Your room is all ready for you, and I've got some tomato soup keeping warm on the stove."
Kip swallows hard, feeling his emotions starting to churn again. He'd just felt the wrath of hate, and now the love he was being shown was almost too much to handle. Bravely, he lifts his head to look back at Gram. "Thank you. I... I think I just want to go to bed."
Gram nods knowingly. "Well, if you change your mind, I'll be up for a while, okay?" She looks back to Karla and gives her arm a loving squeeze. "It's fine if you want to stay here the night," she offers. Her eyes told that she knew how close Kip and Karla were, and she trusted them both - in this situation, neither her or Gramps would object if Karla wanted to stay near overnight.
Erik fiddles with the keys in his hand, wanting to stay but knowing that Kip would prefer to be left alone. "You gonna be alright?"
Kip nods numbly.
Erik didn't believe him, but he returns the nod. Heading for the door, he gives Karla a look that said he would probably be up for a while yet too, so if anything happened, he wanted her to call. It was better if he left though - any pressure and Kip wouldn't take it well.
Hearing the door open and close, Kip's eyes lower again and he starts slowly for the hallway and towards his bedroom. He didn't say anything to Alice or to Gramps on his way... he just wanted to get away from everyone else. Reaching his room, he eases down on the edge of the bed. Though his line of sight was on the floor, he knew that Karla had followed him, and could sense her eyes on him. A tear wells up and trickles down his battered face and he sniffs, unable to hold it all in any longer.
Kyle had come in behind the others and just stood back out of the way, wishing there was more he could do. When Kip and Karla are gone from the living room, he gives his grandma a grateful look. "Karla will see to it he's okay," he assures. "He's just gonna need a little time I think."
Gram nods sadly. "I just can't imagine... it's just..."
"Yeah."
She sighs. "Well, I'm going to make some hot tea." When she heads to the kitchen, Gramps is on her heels.
Left alone with Alice, Kyle finally looks to her, his eyes giving away that he was pretty worn out from the long day. His lack of smile was unusual. He maybe wondered if he should go home and go to bed himself, but his mind was still pretty active and he'd rather unwind first. "Ready for coffee?"
Hearing Amanda's voice, Reese tenses. He sat on the edge of the easy chair in his living room, and quickly reaches for the television remote to mute the sound. Amanda's tone indicated stress, and her initial words made his shoulders sink. They'd known Hope had very little time left, but it was still a blow.
He's just about to reply when Amanda continues. Shocked, Reese's eyes widen, his jaw dropping. They'd all been praying for Hope, but even so, this kind of response was certainly not what anyone had really expected. A little chill runs down his spine and he closes his eyes, overcome with thankfulness. "Praise the Lord," he breathes. "That is wonderful, wonderful news. Thank so much for calling me, Doctor Fuller." Completely overwhelmed, he really didn't even know what else to say. "I know she'll have visitors tomorrow - me included. In the meantime, if you talk to her, let her know we're overjoyed and we'll see her soon."
Ending the call, Reese just sits and stars into nothingness for several moments until he finally folds his hands, leaning to rest his elbows on his knees. "Thank You," he whispers. It had been too long since anything had gone right, and this was some of the best news he'd ever received. He hadn't been all that close to Hope, but she'd been a part of his team, and a vital one at that. Having thought about losing her... it had been heart-wrenching. "Thank You so much."
His shouts of agony subside, though the tears continue for a while longer. Just keeping his head resting against Beth and feeling her arm around him seemed to help form a shield in his mind - a shield to protect him against the torrent of mental attacks. Soon, the tears begin to slow as well until once more, his breathing has calmed and his body's rocking has ceased. Exhausted and drenched in sweat, there's not much else Justin's body can do but give in to sleep again.
So sleep he does, still leaning against Beth, oblivious to the time of night or anything else going on.
The rest of the night is only interrupted once more by a less frightful nightmare without the tears. It's enough to wake Justin and cause him to have another slight panic attack, but it doesn't take him long to calm down once more and sleep again, still close to Beth...
...The morning sun peeks just over the horizon, sending red-orange light across the sky. Mellow beams of light stream in through the living room windows, creating a warm glow. Justin stirs and tries to open his eyes, though his mind was still trapped in what felt like a thick layer of cobwebs. What time was it? Come to think of it, what day was it? He really had no idea.
Moving a little, it surprises him to find that there's a warm body under his head. Then he realizes that it's Beth and they were both lying on the couch. His head was near her shoulder and one arm was draped around her, the blanket keeping both of them warm. When had she gotten there? Had she been there all night? How? Why? His head hurt too much to try and figure it all out.
Though his fever had gone down a few times, he could feel it was still high, making his whole body ache. He didn't even want to move. There was something he needed to do though, he was sure of it. Something he'd forgotten... something...
"I gotta get up," he comments lethargically. "Too much to do... Bein' fine to go and up..." He furrows his brow, knowing that whatever he'd just said made no sense at all, but he really had no idea what he'd been meaning to say anyway. "You know what I mean."
Feeling a chill, he shivers and burrows himself into the back of the couch a little deeper. "I must be sick," he muses.
The lights were still on at Gram and Gramps, and Gram appears at the door, smiling and waving for Alice to come in. Once inside together, she explains that she and Gramps knew about Kip and were waiting up for the others to get here so they could make sure Kip was okay and settled.
It was only a few minutes later when the other two cars finally arrive. Erik parks by the curb and glances to the backseat. "We're home, Kip," he mentions gently.
Kip had been half asleep and nods lamely but takes a few moments to actually sit up. After not moving for several hours, his body hurt even more, and he almost wishes he could just stay in the car all night. His gaze drifts to Karla in the dark but he doesn't say anything. He manages to get himself out of the car, and Erik was right there to help him.
Walking slowly up the sidewalk, Kip leans on Erik, his bandaged arm wrapped around his ribs and his sights making sure Karla was still there, too. The porch steps were agonizing, but he bites back the pain. Once they're inside, part of him was relieved, and part of him was not. Though he glued his gaze to the floor, he could feel pairs of eyes on him, making this whole thing even more uncomfortable.
Turning from her place at the window, Gram puts a hand over her mouth, tears glistening in her eyes at the sight of Kip. Kyle had told her what happened, but she still hadn't been prepared for him to look this bad. He hadn't been living here all that long, but already he was like a grandson and her heart went out to him. "Oh, Kip..." Approaching him slowly, she reaches out with a gentle hand to lay on his shoulder. "Your room is all ready for you, and I've got some tomato soup keeping warm on the stove."
Kip swallows hard, feeling his emotions starting to churn again. He'd just felt the wrath of hate, and now the love he was being shown was almost too much to handle. Bravely, he lifts his head to look back at Gram. "Thank you. I... I think I just want to go to bed."
Gram nods knowingly. "Well, if you change your mind, I'll be up for a while, okay?" She looks back to Karla and gives her arm a loving squeeze. "It's fine if you want to stay here the night," she offers. Her eyes told that she knew how close Kip and Karla were, and she trusted them both - in this situation, neither her or Gramps would object if Karla wanted to stay near overnight.
Erik fiddles with the keys in his hand, wanting to stay but knowing that Kip would prefer to be left alone. "You gonna be alright?"
Kip nods numbly.
Erik didn't believe him, but he returns the nod. Heading for the door, he gives Karla a look that said he would probably be up for a while yet too, so if anything happened, he wanted her to call. It was better if he left though - any pressure and Kip wouldn't take it well.
Hearing the door open and close, Kip's eyes lower again and he starts slowly for the hallway and towards his bedroom. He didn't say anything to Alice or to Gramps on his way... he just wanted to get away from everyone else. Reaching his room, he eases down on the edge of the bed. Though his line of sight was on the floor, he knew that Karla had followed him, and could sense her eyes on him. A tear wells up and trickles down his battered face and he sniffs, unable to hold it all in any longer.
Kyle had come in behind the others and just stood back out of the way, wishing there was more he could do. When Kip and Karla are gone from the living room, he gives his grandma a grateful look. "Karla will see to it he's okay," he assures. "He's just gonna need a little time I think."
Gram nods sadly. "I just can't imagine... it's just..."
"Yeah."
She sighs. "Well, I'm going to make some hot tea." When she heads to the kitchen, Gramps is on her heels.
Left alone with Alice, Kyle finally looks to her, his eyes giving away that he was pretty worn out from the long day. His lack of smile was unusual. He maybe wondered if he should go home and go to bed himself, but his mind was still pretty active and he'd rather unwind first. "Ready for coffee?"
Hearing Amanda's voice, Reese tenses. He sat on the edge of the easy chair in his living room, and quickly reaches for the television remote to mute the sound. Amanda's tone indicated stress, and her initial words made his shoulders sink. They'd known Hope had very little time left, but it was still a blow.
He's just about to reply when Amanda continues. Shocked, Reese's eyes widen, his jaw dropping. They'd all been praying for Hope, but even so, this kind of response was certainly not what anyone had really expected. A little chill runs down his spine and he closes his eyes, overcome with thankfulness. "Praise the Lord," he breathes. "That is wonderful, wonderful news. Thank so much for calling me, Doctor Fuller." Completely overwhelmed, he really didn't even know what else to say. "I know she'll have visitors tomorrow - me included. In the meantime, if you talk to her, let her know we're overjoyed and we'll see her soon."
Ending the call, Reese just sits and stars into nothingness for several moments until he finally folds his hands, leaning to rest his elbows on his knees. "Thank You," he whispers. It had been too long since anything had gone right, and this was some of the best news he'd ever received. He hadn't been all that close to Hope, but she'd been a part of his team, and a vital one at that. Having thought about losing her... it had been heart-wrenching. "Thank You so much."
No longer here...
Lost in her own dreams Beth wakes with a start as Justin starts to twist and turn in bed. Doing her best to try and keep her arms around him so try and show she was still there is was hard. As Justin bolts up on the couch Beth can't help but jumps a little moving to sit on the edge of the couch herself. She'd never delt with this or helping anymore before and it scared her a little. What if she did something wrong? What if she didn't do enough?
Watching just and not moving for a moment it was almost like she was frozen. Though her own mind took hold and reminded her of the time when her own nights were filled with dreams and shouts as she woke. Justin's words had sounded so close to her own she could only wonder what was going on inside of him.
Not wasting another moment longer Beth figured something was better than nothing and friendship was the key to almost anything. Just to know someone really was there for you could be a help. Sliding next to Justin a little closer Beth slips her hand around his shoulder and pulls him a little closer to her.
"Ok, I'll see you in a bit than."
Getting off the phone with Kyle Alice gathers a few things together and lets Twila know she is leaving before heading out into the chilly night. It would be a nice drive and not take to long to get to Gram and Gramps.
...Pulling into the driveway twenty minutes later Alice shuts the care off and puts the keys into her pockets. It had been a few days since she had seen Gram and Gramps that even if Kyle wasn't here yet it was ok.
"Mr. Reese, this is Amanda Fuller. Sorry to call you at home but its about Hope Garrison."
Amanda stood in the nurses station papers. Tears filled her eyes and it was hard for her to even talk. Even if you didn't know the person well when something like this happened tears could just not be helped.
"Hope is no longer with us in the critical unit..."
Pausing for a moment Amandra didn't let the silence linger to long knowing her choose of words was not the best but the truth.
"We moved her down to the recovery unit. She woke up about five hours ago and the only sign she was ever sick is how weak she is. Some test were run and there is no sign of any cancer in her body anymore."
Holding the papers up in front of her once more Amanda looks over them for the tenth time just to make sure she herself was reading it right. Something like this didn't happen in the medical field every day.
"I can't explain it, and by all medical terms this is not possible. But knowing who has our backs I have to say God had his hand in this whole thing. Hope will still have to stay with us for a while so we can keep and eye on her and she can continue to recover but the storm is over. She can have visitors tomorrow if anyone wants to come and see her."
Watching just and not moving for a moment it was almost like she was frozen. Though her own mind took hold and reminded her of the time when her own nights were filled with dreams and shouts as she woke. Justin's words had sounded so close to her own she could only wonder what was going on inside of him.
Not wasting another moment longer Beth figured something was better than nothing and friendship was the key to almost anything. Just to know someone really was there for you could be a help. Sliding next to Justin a little closer Beth slips her hand around his shoulder and pulls him a little closer to her.
"Ok, I'll see you in a bit than."
Getting off the phone with Kyle Alice gathers a few things together and lets Twila know she is leaving before heading out into the chilly night. It would be a nice drive and not take to long to get to Gram and Gramps.
...Pulling into the driveway twenty minutes later Alice shuts the care off and puts the keys into her pockets. It had been a few days since she had seen Gram and Gramps that even if Kyle wasn't here yet it was ok.
"Mr. Reese, this is Amanda Fuller. Sorry to call you at home but its about Hope Garrison."
Amanda stood in the nurses station papers. Tears filled her eyes and it was hard for her to even talk. Even if you didn't know the person well when something like this happened tears could just not be helped.
"Hope is no longer with us in the critical unit..."
Pausing for a moment Amandra didn't let the silence linger to long knowing her choose of words was not the best but the truth.
"We moved her down to the recovery unit. She woke up about five hours ago and the only sign she was ever sick is how weak she is. Some test were run and there is no sign of any cancer in her body anymore."
Holding the papers up in front of her once more Amanda looks over them for the tenth time just to make sure she herself was reading it right. Something like this didn't happen in the medical field every day.
"I can't explain it, and by all medical terms this is not possible. But knowing who has our backs I have to say God had his hand in this whole thing. Hope will still have to stay with us for a while so we can keep and eye on her and she can continue to recover but the storm is over. She can have visitors tomorrow if anyone wants to come and see her."
Stop it
Kip opens his one eye to see the buzzing chicken nugget and he smirks a little. If it were anyone else, he'd be upset and assume they were making fun of him, treating him like a little kid. But he knew Karla was just trying her best to get him to eat. He also knew that if he didn't give in, she'd be even more worried about him, and he didn't like doing that to her.
After a little sigh, he pulls himself up to sit, trying to ignore the pain as he leans against Karla. Reaching over he takes the chicken nugget and nibbles on it slowly. It hurt to eat. His lip was still tender and his jaw was sore. But he couldn't deny that the chicken tasted good, and his stomach was indeed grateful.
Erik watches in the rearview mirror, pleased that Karla had gotten him to eat at least a little. She had a way with him, no doubt. They had started out with Kip finding purpose in helping out Karla - now she was helping him. Who knew the purposes God had from the beginning?
By the time the food was gone, Kip had eaten two nuggets and sipped a little bit on the milkshake. It wasn't much, but it was enough to settle his stomach for a while. Lying down again, he wouldn't sit up for the rest of the ride home, falling in and out of sleep as they drove.
"Yeah, I'll let you know when we're in town." Kyle is quiet for a moment as he drove, smiling at Alice's final statement. "I love you too," he replies softly. "I'll drive safe - no worries."
Ending the call so he really could be safe on the road, he keeps driving behind Erik, hoping that his friend in the front vehicle was doing alright. Kyle really hadn't had a whole lot of time to sit and think about this situation, but now as he drove alone, it was starting to bother him. He wasn't as close to Kip as the others were, simply because he hadn't known him as long. But he was certainly a friend, and they'd really clicked, as far as personalities and interests went. It burned Kyle up inside to think about what Kip's father had done. And they still didn't even know why. It didn't matter though... Kip's father's actions were inexcusable.
Realizing he was gripping the steering wheel quite tightly, Kyle loosens his grasp a little. He'd lost his father that had been so caring and loving. Kip's dad was still around and he was a monster. Why did things have to be that way?
It was that question that plagued him on the drive back home. As they entered town though, he had a nice distraction as he had to call Alice once more. "It's me again," he greets cheerily. "We're gonna be at Gram and Gramps in about fifteen minutes and we'll have to get Kip settled in. You can meet us there if you want."
Justin relaxes under Beth's touch and though his eyes are closed, his lips turn up into just a slight grin. "Always a first.... for everything," he mumbles groggily.
Pulling the blanket up a little more, he stays where he is as long as Beth seemed willing. He was too sick to care about being proper or ultra careful.
Falling sound asleep, he's unaware of just about everything. Even when woken for some more tylenol, he wouldn't remember a thing, falling right back to sleep as his body tried to combat the sickness and his mind tried to combat his emotional war. It wasn't until the middle of the night when the nightmares return, running rampant through his imagination.
He was a kid again, but not really, though the surroundings were those of when he'd grown up and everyone else was young like when he'd been a child. He was with his family part of the time, but part of the time it was people he didn't know. As the dream shifted and turned, his father was killed, though this time he was witness, standing back to watch the car collision. Someone to his left began to mock him, taunting him and laughing, reminding him that it was because of him that his father was coming home early. It was because of him that the accident had happened. Justin tried to fight it off, telling the man he was mistaken. Then he was at the funeral, staring into the casket at his father, so still. His brother came up beside him and began to shout at him, blaming him and telling him it was all his fault. His mother stood behind Jared, glaring at him, agreeing with her eldest son. Justin backed away from the casket, overwhelmed, angry and guilt-ridden. No...no... it wasn't me. It wasn't my fault. No... Stop it... stop it...
Thrashing about on the couch, blankets tangled and twisted, Justin's hand had somehow found Beth's wrist, putting it in a vice grip as he mumbled incoherently. Sweat poured down his face and neck as he fought against an unseen enemy.
In a final effort to wake up, he shoots up, letting go of Beth. "Stop it!" he shouts. Putting his head in his hands, he rocks back and forth, trying to rid his mind of the horrible images. "Just stop it!" Tears spring into his eyes and a sob catches in his throat. "I didn't do it," he insists as he cries. "It wasn't my fault... it wasn't my fault." Rocking and crying, his mind is trapped in a fever-induced fog while his emotions tried to sort through his past trauma. Any witness who was not aware of what had happened recently would have no idea what was tormenting him so badly. But his surroundings were lost in the fog as he desperately tried to claw out of the nightmare.
After a little sigh, he pulls himself up to sit, trying to ignore the pain as he leans against Karla. Reaching over he takes the chicken nugget and nibbles on it slowly. It hurt to eat. His lip was still tender and his jaw was sore. But he couldn't deny that the chicken tasted good, and his stomach was indeed grateful.
Erik watches in the rearview mirror, pleased that Karla had gotten him to eat at least a little. She had a way with him, no doubt. They had started out with Kip finding purpose in helping out Karla - now she was helping him. Who knew the purposes God had from the beginning?
By the time the food was gone, Kip had eaten two nuggets and sipped a little bit on the milkshake. It wasn't much, but it was enough to settle his stomach for a while. Lying down again, he wouldn't sit up for the rest of the ride home, falling in and out of sleep as they drove.
"Yeah, I'll let you know when we're in town." Kyle is quiet for a moment as he drove, smiling at Alice's final statement. "I love you too," he replies softly. "I'll drive safe - no worries."
Ending the call so he really could be safe on the road, he keeps driving behind Erik, hoping that his friend in the front vehicle was doing alright. Kyle really hadn't had a whole lot of time to sit and think about this situation, but now as he drove alone, it was starting to bother him. He wasn't as close to Kip as the others were, simply because he hadn't known him as long. But he was certainly a friend, and they'd really clicked, as far as personalities and interests went. It burned Kyle up inside to think about what Kip's father had done. And they still didn't even know why. It didn't matter though... Kip's father's actions were inexcusable.
Realizing he was gripping the steering wheel quite tightly, Kyle loosens his grasp a little. He'd lost his father that had been so caring and loving. Kip's dad was still around and he was a monster. Why did things have to be that way?
It was that question that plagued him on the drive back home. As they entered town though, he had a nice distraction as he had to call Alice once more. "It's me again," he greets cheerily. "We're gonna be at Gram and Gramps in about fifteen minutes and we'll have to get Kip settled in. You can meet us there if you want."
Justin relaxes under Beth's touch and though his eyes are closed, his lips turn up into just a slight grin. "Always a first.... for everything," he mumbles groggily.
Pulling the blanket up a little more, he stays where he is as long as Beth seemed willing. He was too sick to care about being proper or ultra careful.
Falling sound asleep, he's unaware of just about everything. Even when woken for some more tylenol, he wouldn't remember a thing, falling right back to sleep as his body tried to combat the sickness and his mind tried to combat his emotional war. It wasn't until the middle of the night when the nightmares return, running rampant through his imagination.
He was a kid again, but not really, though the surroundings were those of when he'd grown up and everyone else was young like when he'd been a child. He was with his family part of the time, but part of the time it was people he didn't know. As the dream shifted and turned, his father was killed, though this time he was witness, standing back to watch the car collision. Someone to his left began to mock him, taunting him and laughing, reminding him that it was because of him that his father was coming home early. It was because of him that the accident had happened. Justin tried to fight it off, telling the man he was mistaken. Then he was at the funeral, staring into the casket at his father, so still. His brother came up beside him and began to shout at him, blaming him and telling him it was all his fault. His mother stood behind Jared, glaring at him, agreeing with her eldest son. Justin backed away from the casket, overwhelmed, angry and guilt-ridden. No...no... it wasn't me. It wasn't my fault. No... Stop it... stop it...
Thrashing about on the couch, blankets tangled and twisted, Justin's hand had somehow found Beth's wrist, putting it in a vice grip as he mumbled incoherently. Sweat poured down his face and neck as he fought against an unseen enemy.
In a final effort to wake up, he shoots up, letting go of Beth. "Stop it!" he shouts. Putting his head in his hands, he rocks back and forth, trying to rid his mind of the horrible images. "Just stop it!" Tears spring into his eyes and a sob catches in his throat. "I didn't do it," he insists as he cries. "It wasn't my fault... it wasn't my fault." Rocking and crying, his mind is trapped in a fever-induced fog while his emotions tried to sort through his past trauma. Any witness who was not aware of what had happened recently would have no idea what was tormenting him so badly. But his surroundings were lost in the fog as he desperately tried to claw out of the nightmare.
12/1/10
Airplane
Feeling Justin's hand come up to the side of her face Beth was surprised but it felt nice. His hands was soft...it was warm on her skin. Much different from what Beth would of expected. But she liked it and it sent a warm feeling up and down her spine. It was like nothing she had felt before a closeness she denied herself from anyone, till now.
Hearing Justin's comment about a pillow with a heartbeat Beth could feel her face grow warm once again as she chuckled a little. She'd never been used as a pillow before. Bringing her hand to Justin's face Beth runs her fingers lightly over his skin and his eyes.
"I guess its good I make a comfortable pillow. Though I have to say your the first to ever use me as one."
Shaking her head a little bit Beth leans her head back against the couch closing her eyes. In a little bit she would get up and get Justin something for his fever again just right now...she felt so comfortable, so warm, she didn't want to move and break this moment that might not last very long.
Letting out a sigh as Kip shakes his head not to her mention of food Karla wished he wouldn't be so heard headed and would just have at least something. She had to think of something, some way to at least make keep feel a little better and get him to eat something.
Getting to the drive threw and making sure Erik new what she wanted Karla waited till the food was passed out. Her stomach gives a growl reminding her that she hadn't had anything to eat since yesterday either. Hearing Kip's own stomach growl Karla gave a shake of her head and quirks an eyebrow.
"Your not hungry and your tummy is growling."
Taking a chicken nugget Karla gives a grin before waving it in the air like a airplane flying it here and than making little noises along with it.
"Come on Kip, the airplan needs somewhere to and dock as least one of them and from the sound of your stomach I think it could use rocking airplane to give that singing tummy a better tune."
Karla gives a small smile just hoping that Kip would at least take a little bit if not the whole thing. His body needed to heal and needed the nutrient to do so. So little was better than nothing.
Answering her phone Alice gives a smile. It was Kyle again and though this was one of many times today he'd called she liked it now as much as the last. Just to be able to hear Kyle's voice while they were apart was enough to put a smile on any damp mood.
"Hey Babe. I think coffee sounds like a great idea I could definitely use some. When you guys get closer just let me know and I can meet you over at Gran and Gramps."
Kyle had filled her in on what had happened to Kip so when anyone asked she could give them the full story and not only part of it. Her hear when out to there younger friend. To know someone of his age or anyone elses age had to go through something like this was heart breaking. Not to mention to think what Erik, Karla and Kyle were feeling seeing it first hand. A big hug was in order for Kyle that was for sure.
"I love you Kyle so very much. Get home safely...ok?"
Hearing Justin's comment about a pillow with a heartbeat Beth could feel her face grow warm once again as she chuckled a little. She'd never been used as a pillow before. Bringing her hand to Justin's face Beth runs her fingers lightly over his skin and his eyes.
"I guess its good I make a comfortable pillow. Though I have to say your the first to ever use me as one."
Shaking her head a little bit Beth leans her head back against the couch closing her eyes. In a little bit she would get up and get Justin something for his fever again just right now...she felt so comfortable, so warm, she didn't want to move and break this moment that might not last very long.
Letting out a sigh as Kip shakes his head not to her mention of food Karla wished he wouldn't be so heard headed and would just have at least something. She had to think of something, some way to at least make keep feel a little better and get him to eat something.
Getting to the drive threw and making sure Erik new what she wanted Karla waited till the food was passed out. Her stomach gives a growl reminding her that she hadn't had anything to eat since yesterday either. Hearing Kip's own stomach growl Karla gave a shake of her head and quirks an eyebrow.
"Your not hungry and your tummy is growling."
Taking a chicken nugget Karla gives a grin before waving it in the air like a airplane flying it here and than making little noises along with it.
"Come on Kip, the airplan needs somewhere to and dock as least one of them and from the sound of your stomach I think it could use rocking airplane to give that singing tummy a better tune."
Karla gives a small smile just hoping that Kip would at least take a little bit if not the whole thing. His body needed to heal and needed the nutrient to do so. So little was better than nothing.
Answering her phone Alice gives a smile. It was Kyle again and though this was one of many times today he'd called she liked it now as much as the last. Just to be able to hear Kyle's voice while they were apart was enough to put a smile on any damp mood.
"Hey Babe. I think coffee sounds like a great idea I could definitely use some. When you guys get closer just let me know and I can meet you over at Gran and Gramps."
Kyle had filled her in on what had happened to Kip so when anyone asked she could give them the full story and not only part of it. Her hear when out to there younger friend. To know someone of his age or anyone elses age had to go through something like this was heart breaking. Not to mention to think what Erik, Karla and Kyle were feeling seeing it first hand. A big hug was in order for Kyle that was for sure.
"I love you Kyle so very much. Get home safely...ok?"
Stubborn
Something like a soft chuckle comes out, though Justin still struggles to calm himself down. "I haven't had a.... a panic attack since I was a kid," he admits ruefully.
Just sitting still and waiting until Beth returns, he leans back and pulls the blanket tighter around himself. Taking time to sit up and nibble on a couple crackers and take a few small sips of juice, he does his best to do what he's supposed to, even though nothing made much sense right now. It all seemed foggy and distorted. Reality was close enough he could see it, but it was just out of reach as his fever raged.
Leaning back again with his eyes closed, the cold cloth on his forehead felt so soothing. The attack seemed to be subsiding as well. He couldn't remember when he'd felt this sick, but most likely, he hadn't had someone around to take care of him like this. In his feverish state, Beth's presence felt... nice.
With eyes barely open, his hand comes up to brush the side of her face. His touch was light and gentle - a contrast to his demeanor that he always kept so guarded. "You don't have to be so nice," he mentions quietly. Sighing, his hand drops. "I think... sleep... is good."
Shifting around, he tries to make sense of the tangled blankets, but gives up before sinking down to lie on his side, his head is in Beth's lap. "Pillows with heartbeats are the best," he mumbles. He felt so hot and cold and his head hurt so badly. But this was comfortable. This was safe.
Kip was grateful for Karla's encouragement - he really was. He just... didn't care about anything else though. He didn't care if he should eat - he didn't want to. He didn't care if the doctor told him to drink - he didn't feel like it.
Any other time, he would have loved sharing a milkshake with Karla. But tonight... all he wanted to do was forget he even existed.
He shakes his head, refusing the offer.
Erik pulls into the drivethru, making sure Kyle was still following, and places their order. He gets himself a meal and Karla's nuggets with a drink too, then goes ahead and adds a small shake. He knew Kip had said no, but maybe if they got one anyway, Karla would be able to work her magic.
Once their food is received, Erik waits for Kyle to make it through the line as well before pulling back out onto the road. After getting his own food out of the bag, he hands the rest back to Karla.
Kip kept his eyes closed and cringed at every bump in the road. Bed would feel nice, but part of him didn't even want to face Gram and Gramps. It was bad enough that the others knew what had happened... now they would too and they'd know just what kind of family he'd come from. That was something he rather would have kept to himself.
The scent of food wafts through the car, and though his stomach felt queezy, it growls with anticipation. It hadn't received nourishment for days. Kip has no control over his mouth watering, but he stubbornly keeps his eyes closed.
Keeping an eye on the road and on Erik's car in front of him, Kyle drives and sips the pop he'd gotten. Using one hand, he fishes for his phone and calls Alice for the fourth time today.
"Hey, Babe." He smiles as he hears her voice. "We're not going to make it back 'til late but... I was wondering if maybe you'd want to go out for coffee or something when I get back? I'll need a ride anyway once I drop of Kip's car at Gram and Gramps."
Just sitting still and waiting until Beth returns, he leans back and pulls the blanket tighter around himself. Taking time to sit up and nibble on a couple crackers and take a few small sips of juice, he does his best to do what he's supposed to, even though nothing made much sense right now. It all seemed foggy and distorted. Reality was close enough he could see it, but it was just out of reach as his fever raged.
Leaning back again with his eyes closed, the cold cloth on his forehead felt so soothing. The attack seemed to be subsiding as well. He couldn't remember when he'd felt this sick, but most likely, he hadn't had someone around to take care of him like this. In his feverish state, Beth's presence felt... nice.
With eyes barely open, his hand comes up to brush the side of her face. His touch was light and gentle - a contrast to his demeanor that he always kept so guarded. "You don't have to be so nice," he mentions quietly. Sighing, his hand drops. "I think... sleep... is good."
Shifting around, he tries to make sense of the tangled blankets, but gives up before sinking down to lie on his side, his head is in Beth's lap. "Pillows with heartbeats are the best," he mumbles. He felt so hot and cold and his head hurt so badly. But this was comfortable. This was safe.
Kip was grateful for Karla's encouragement - he really was. He just... didn't care about anything else though. He didn't care if he should eat - he didn't want to. He didn't care if the doctor told him to drink - he didn't feel like it.
Any other time, he would have loved sharing a milkshake with Karla. But tonight... all he wanted to do was forget he even existed.
He shakes his head, refusing the offer.
Erik pulls into the drivethru, making sure Kyle was still following, and places their order. He gets himself a meal and Karla's nuggets with a drink too, then goes ahead and adds a small shake. He knew Kip had said no, but maybe if they got one anyway, Karla would be able to work her magic.
Once their food is received, Erik waits for Kyle to make it through the line as well before pulling back out onto the road. After getting his own food out of the bag, he hands the rest back to Karla.
Kip kept his eyes closed and cringed at every bump in the road. Bed would feel nice, but part of him didn't even want to face Gram and Gramps. It was bad enough that the others knew what had happened... now they would too and they'd know just what kind of family he'd come from. That was something he rather would have kept to himself.
The scent of food wafts through the car, and though his stomach felt queezy, it growls with anticipation. It hadn't received nourishment for days. Kip has no control over his mouth watering, but he stubbornly keeps his eyes closed.
Keeping an eye on the road and on Erik's car in front of him, Kyle drives and sips the pop he'd gotten. Using one hand, he fishes for his phone and calls Alice for the fourth time today.
"Hey, Babe." He smiles as he hears her voice. "We're not going to make it back 'til late but... I was wondering if maybe you'd want to go out for coffee or something when I get back? I'll need a ride anyway once I drop of Kip's car at Gram and Gramps."
11/30/10
911
Happy that even though Kip wasn't please but he would go Karla gives a smile. She wanted to have him ok, she wanted to know he would be ok. Though on this inside in his own mind he was far from fine at least she could make sure his body was ok and that was a start.
"Take it easy, I am pulling up the back."
Getting out of the car behind Kip she stays close but lets those two go first so she could hold down the back in case Kip faltered she could be there to catch him. Once inside the hospetil Karla did stay close and through all the paperwork she was there, the IV, the stitching and everything she as there never leaving his side.
Once everything was done and over with Karla helped Kip back out to the car. She new he wouldn't want to stay any longer than he had too, and she had promised they could leave as soon as it was done.
Sitting down like she had before and letting Kip put his head in her lap Karla brings her hand to his hair again and gentile strokes it. Looking at Erik and than down at Kip again she lets out a small sigh.
"I'll get some chicken nuggets Erik. Thanks!"
Looking down at Kip again she gives a small smile before leaning down a little bit and placing a small kiss on his lips. Karla hurt so much for Kip she just wished she could take it all away. She new he needed to eat and she didn't want to force him but because of the pain killers he had to eat something so his stomach would not get affected.
"Because of those pain killers Kip you should eat a little bit of something. How about a milk shake? The cold will feel good, and it will put something into your stomach too. Want to share one with me?"
Completely comfortable with how she was on the couch with Justin it even surprised Beth she didn't find this strange or uncomfortable. Doing her best to stay awake in the dimly lit room in case Justin needed her Beth just sat still her breath drawing in and out. Though soon her eyes were getting tired and dreams are what waited.
I get to help someone....I get a second chance....I can prove I can help people....I couldn't help Sarah but Justin he needs me...I can help him. Redemption....trust....friendship.
Justin's yell shatter's Beth's dreams and she sits up on the couch fast as well her heart pounding in her chest and her eyes wide as she looked at Justin. What was wrong? What happened?
As if he could ready her mind Justin words come about him being ok, and he was having a panic attack. Feeling her heart slow just a little Beth cocks her head slightly. A small chuckle seemed to escape her lips and her eyes gave a small twinkle for a moment. Even while he was sick he was trying to take of everyone but himself.
"Breath Justin. Just relax, and thank you for worrying about me but how about you worry about yourself for once and get better hmmm?"
Standing and picking the blankets off the ground Beth places them over Justin again. Looking into his eyes for a moment and seeing if he really didn't calm down he was going to pass out Beth thinks for a moment. She had to use her head on what to do here.
"I'll be right back I'm going to get you something to drink and a cool wash cloth for your head. Don't go running away on me ok?"
A small smile formed on Beth's face as she tried to make Justin smile. Heading to the kitchen and grabbing a cup from the cabinet Beth gets some OJ from the fridge and a few crackers for Justin to at least put something in his stomach.
Than moving to one of the draws she takes out a wash cloth and runs it under some cool water. It would help with Justin's temperature and calm him down a little bit as well. Coming back into the living room Beth gives a smile.
"Here you go, a little OJ to help kick your cold, and some crackers for your stomach."
Leaning close to Justin for a moment Beth places the washcloth on his head and holds it there for a moment her hand lightly brushing his face.
"Take some deep breaths, the cloth should help with the fever. Don't go passing out on me now...I really really don't want to dial 911."
"Take it easy, I am pulling up the back."
Getting out of the car behind Kip she stays close but lets those two go first so she could hold down the back in case Kip faltered she could be there to catch him. Once inside the hospetil Karla did stay close and through all the paperwork she was there, the IV, the stitching and everything she as there never leaving his side.
Once everything was done and over with Karla helped Kip back out to the car. She new he wouldn't want to stay any longer than he had too, and she had promised they could leave as soon as it was done.
Sitting down like she had before and letting Kip put his head in her lap Karla brings her hand to his hair again and gentile strokes it. Looking at Erik and than down at Kip again she lets out a small sigh.
"I'll get some chicken nuggets Erik. Thanks!"
Looking down at Kip again she gives a small smile before leaning down a little bit and placing a small kiss on his lips. Karla hurt so much for Kip she just wished she could take it all away. She new he needed to eat and she didn't want to force him but because of the pain killers he had to eat something so his stomach would not get affected.
"Because of those pain killers Kip you should eat a little bit of something. How about a milk shake? The cold will feel good, and it will put something into your stomach too. Want to share one with me?"
Completely comfortable with how she was on the couch with Justin it even surprised Beth she didn't find this strange or uncomfortable. Doing her best to stay awake in the dimly lit room in case Justin needed her Beth just sat still her breath drawing in and out. Though soon her eyes were getting tired and dreams are what waited.
I get to help someone....I get a second chance....I can prove I can help people....I couldn't help Sarah but Justin he needs me...I can help him. Redemption....trust....friendship.
Justin's yell shatter's Beth's dreams and she sits up on the couch fast as well her heart pounding in her chest and her eyes wide as she looked at Justin. What was wrong? What happened?
As if he could ready her mind Justin words come about him being ok, and he was having a panic attack. Feeling her heart slow just a little Beth cocks her head slightly. A small chuckle seemed to escape her lips and her eyes gave a small twinkle for a moment. Even while he was sick he was trying to take of everyone but himself.
"Breath Justin. Just relax, and thank you for worrying about me but how about you worry about yourself for once and get better hmmm?"
Standing and picking the blankets off the ground Beth places them over Justin again. Looking into his eyes for a moment and seeing if he really didn't calm down he was going to pass out Beth thinks for a moment. She had to use her head on what to do here.
"I'll be right back I'm going to get you something to drink and a cool wash cloth for your head. Don't go running away on me ok?"
A small smile formed on Beth's face as she tried to make Justin smile. Heading to the kitchen and grabbing a cup from the cabinet Beth gets some OJ from the fridge and a few crackers for Justin to at least put something in his stomach.
Than moving to one of the draws she takes out a wash cloth and runs it under some cool water. It would help with Justin's temperature and calm him down a little bit as well. Coming back into the living room Beth gives a smile.
"Here you go, a little OJ to help kick your cold, and some crackers for your stomach."
Leaning close to Justin for a moment Beth places the washcloth on his head and holds it there for a moment her hand lightly brushing his face.
"Take some deep breaths, the cloth should help with the fever. Don't go passing out on me now...I really really don't want to dial 911."
11/29/10
Broken and bruised
As Beth takes his hand, Justin's fingers seem to automatically curl around hers. Though silent, it didn't mean he didn't hear her words. Through the fog, they settled in the corner of his mind, as words of comfort.
Still lethargic and not quite sure exactly what was going on, Justin doesn't resist as Beth moves onto the couch with him. Shifting around a bit clumsily, he comes to rest with his head near her shoulder and an arm around her where she still held his hand. Something in the back of his mind seemed to tell him that he should be bothered by something about this, but he was too tired and too comfortable to care.
With his head nestled in on Beth, he sighs deeply, his body relaxing as it gains warmth. Her additional words seem to hit home and without much sense to stop them, the tears well in his eyes once again. Several fall to land on her shoulder, and his hand gives hers a gentle squeeze. "Thank you," he whispers.
It didn't take long for him to drift into sleep, his body too exhausted to do anything else. Next to Beth and under the blankets, his chills eventually subside, though his fever continues to rage. With his temperature rising, his mind takes him on a journey of dreams that were confusing and distorted, skewing reality and toying with his feelings. He saw his father again, his brother, mother, people he didn't even know, Rebecca, and even childhood friends he hadn't thought about in years. Flooded with memories mixed with imagination, the dreams evolved into stressful sagas of arguments and running from shadowy enemies.
Caught in his restless sleep, Justin's body jolts every few minutes, words mumbled incoherently. Sweat poured down the sides of his face as he grew hot and he fights with the blankets. The last scene in his nightmarish dreams was of his father and brother, mocking him for failures and blaming him for death. It was a bone-chilling encounter.
"No!" Justin shoots bolt upright, sending the blankets flying. His head throbbed and his pulse was pounding. Putting a hand over his chest, he wheezes, finding it hard to breathe. His eyes dart about the room as he tries to focus on reality and not the vivid images that haunted him. Somehow he's lucid enough to realize that Beth is still with him, though logic was just a bit off kilter - enough that while he was trying to be serious, it didn't register how little sense it really made that he was worrying more about her than himself.
"I'm fine... don't worry... I'm just having a panic attack," he states matter-of-factly. Closing his eyes, he tries to overcome the dizziness, though he still wheezes, gasping for breath as his heart continues to race. "If I don't... quit, I'm gonna..." He tries again to take a deeper breath. "...pass out. Lovely thought."
Kip doesn't want to give in. He'd rather just lie right here. Karla's fingers running through his hair was so soothing, and after the weekend he'd had, just being close to her was a comfort. And now Erik wanted to take him inside where he would be poked, prodded and interrogated.
He shakes his head stubbornly.
Erik sighs. "She's right, Kip. The longer you shake your head, the longer we'll be here. You know I want you to press charges, but I know you won't, so there's no point in telling anyone who did this. I'll do all I can to get you in and out of here. We just want to make sure you're really okay."
Would Karla really stay with him no matter what? Kip's eye look to Erik, then rolls back up to Karla. He could hear the strain in her voice and knew that this whole thing was upsetting her. If it would make her feel better for him to go in and get this over with, then maybe it was worth it. He'd done enough damage... he didn't want to make it any worse for her.
Finally he raises himself up and slides to the other door, letting himself out, though quite gingerly. Walking slowly around the car, he leans on it until he reaches Erik who takes over the needed support.
"We're gonna make it, buddy," Erik encourages. Though part of him was angry and irritated that Kip had gotten himself into this mess, part of him was very much hurting for his friend as well. And right now, he knew if he chewed out Kip, it would only make things worse.
Kip leans on Erik but looks over his shoulder to make sure Karla was coming too. He'd never told anyone that hospitals scared him. People died at hospitals. His sister had died at a hospital.
Once inside to the ER, the paperwork ensues and Kip needs both Erik and Karla to help him think straight enough to give the nurses the right information. Remaining subdued and withdrawn, Kip obediently goes through the motions, not because he wanted to, but because he knew Karla was right - the more he fought this, the longer they'd be here.
Two hours later, Kip had stitches above his swollen eye and on a gash on his arm. His several broken ribs had been taped, but the doctor confirmed he'd be in pain for a while. It was revealed that he had several deep bruises on his back, though Kip would only mumble something about a chair. Dehydrated, they hooked him up to an IV for a while with the orders to drink plenty of fluids once he was home. His wrist was severely bruised down to the bone and ended up being wrapped with the order to ice it for a week. All the other bruises on his face would just have to heal themselves.
With the Erik's promise that they would make sure Kip followed up with a doctor's appointment at home in a couple days, the hospital released Kip with a prescription for some pain medication and instructions to take care of himself. The biggest worry the doctor had was for his wrist and his eye, but he seemed to think that if Kip was careful, he would heal just fine.
Back in the car and back on the road, it was already getting dark. Erik and Kyle had both spent some time on the phone today, letting people know what was going on, and prepping Gram and Gramps to help take care of Kip as well. As Erik drove with Kyle following in the other car, he keeps his eye out for any fast food restaurants. They all could use some food.
"We got a Wendy's and a McDonald's up here," he mentions to the back seat. "What sounds good?"
Kip was once again lying down with his head in Karla's lap, exhausted and feeling sick to his stomach from the pain meds he'd received at the hospital. He hadn't eaten in two days but wasn't hungry. "I don't want anything," he responds quietly.
Erik sighs and glances back to Karla. "I'm at least going to the drive through. You want anything?" He hoped she'd say yes and end up convincing Kip to at least eat a little bit, but if not, surely Gram could get Kip to eat later.
Still lethargic and not quite sure exactly what was going on, Justin doesn't resist as Beth moves onto the couch with him. Shifting around a bit clumsily, he comes to rest with his head near her shoulder and an arm around her where she still held his hand. Something in the back of his mind seemed to tell him that he should be bothered by something about this, but he was too tired and too comfortable to care.
With his head nestled in on Beth, he sighs deeply, his body relaxing as it gains warmth. Her additional words seem to hit home and without much sense to stop them, the tears well in his eyes once again. Several fall to land on her shoulder, and his hand gives hers a gentle squeeze. "Thank you," he whispers.
It didn't take long for him to drift into sleep, his body too exhausted to do anything else. Next to Beth and under the blankets, his chills eventually subside, though his fever continues to rage. With his temperature rising, his mind takes him on a journey of dreams that were confusing and distorted, skewing reality and toying with his feelings. He saw his father again, his brother, mother, people he didn't even know, Rebecca, and even childhood friends he hadn't thought about in years. Flooded with memories mixed with imagination, the dreams evolved into stressful sagas of arguments and running from shadowy enemies.
Caught in his restless sleep, Justin's body jolts every few minutes, words mumbled incoherently. Sweat poured down the sides of his face as he grew hot and he fights with the blankets. The last scene in his nightmarish dreams was of his father and brother, mocking him for failures and blaming him for death. It was a bone-chilling encounter.
"No!" Justin shoots bolt upright, sending the blankets flying. His head throbbed and his pulse was pounding. Putting a hand over his chest, he wheezes, finding it hard to breathe. His eyes dart about the room as he tries to focus on reality and not the vivid images that haunted him. Somehow he's lucid enough to realize that Beth is still with him, though logic was just a bit off kilter - enough that while he was trying to be serious, it didn't register how little sense it really made that he was worrying more about her than himself.
"I'm fine... don't worry... I'm just having a panic attack," he states matter-of-factly. Closing his eyes, he tries to overcome the dizziness, though he still wheezes, gasping for breath as his heart continues to race. "If I don't... quit, I'm gonna..." He tries again to take a deeper breath. "...pass out. Lovely thought."
Kip doesn't want to give in. He'd rather just lie right here. Karla's fingers running through his hair was so soothing, and after the weekend he'd had, just being close to her was a comfort. And now Erik wanted to take him inside where he would be poked, prodded and interrogated.
He shakes his head stubbornly.
Erik sighs. "She's right, Kip. The longer you shake your head, the longer we'll be here. You know I want you to press charges, but I know you won't, so there's no point in telling anyone who did this. I'll do all I can to get you in and out of here. We just want to make sure you're really okay."
Would Karla really stay with him no matter what? Kip's eye look to Erik, then rolls back up to Karla. He could hear the strain in her voice and knew that this whole thing was upsetting her. If it would make her feel better for him to go in and get this over with, then maybe it was worth it. He'd done enough damage... he didn't want to make it any worse for her.
Finally he raises himself up and slides to the other door, letting himself out, though quite gingerly. Walking slowly around the car, he leans on it until he reaches Erik who takes over the needed support.
"We're gonna make it, buddy," Erik encourages. Though part of him was angry and irritated that Kip had gotten himself into this mess, part of him was very much hurting for his friend as well. And right now, he knew if he chewed out Kip, it would only make things worse.
Kip leans on Erik but looks over his shoulder to make sure Karla was coming too. He'd never told anyone that hospitals scared him. People died at hospitals. His sister had died at a hospital.
Once inside to the ER, the paperwork ensues and Kip needs both Erik and Karla to help him think straight enough to give the nurses the right information. Remaining subdued and withdrawn, Kip obediently goes through the motions, not because he wanted to, but because he knew Karla was right - the more he fought this, the longer they'd be here.
Two hours later, Kip had stitches above his swollen eye and on a gash on his arm. His several broken ribs had been taped, but the doctor confirmed he'd be in pain for a while. It was revealed that he had several deep bruises on his back, though Kip would only mumble something about a chair. Dehydrated, they hooked him up to an IV for a while with the orders to drink plenty of fluids once he was home. His wrist was severely bruised down to the bone and ended up being wrapped with the order to ice it for a week. All the other bruises on his face would just have to heal themselves.
With the Erik's promise that they would make sure Kip followed up with a doctor's appointment at home in a couple days, the hospital released Kip with a prescription for some pain medication and instructions to take care of himself. The biggest worry the doctor had was for his wrist and his eye, but he seemed to think that if Kip was careful, he would heal just fine.
Back in the car and back on the road, it was already getting dark. Erik and Kyle had both spent some time on the phone today, letting people know what was going on, and prepping Gram and Gramps to help take care of Kip as well. As Erik drove with Kyle following in the other car, he keeps his eye out for any fast food restaurants. They all could use some food.
"We got a Wendy's and a McDonald's up here," he mentions to the back seat. "What sounds good?"
Kip was once again lying down with his head in Karla's lap, exhausted and feeling sick to his stomach from the pain meds he'd received at the hospital. He hadn't eaten in two days but wasn't hungry. "I don't want anything," he responds quietly.
Erik sighs and glances back to Karla. "I'm at least going to the drive through. You want anything?" He hoped she'd say yes and end up convincing Kip to at least eat a little bit, but if not, surely Gram could get Kip to eat later.
A promise
Running her hand gentily through Kip's hair Erik didn't have to tell Karla where he was going she already new because in her heart she new it was the right thing and making sure he was ok and nothing more on the inside was wrong that what they could see.
Getting the the hospital and listing to Kip and Erik go at it Karla just continues to run her hand through his hair and sooth him. She felt bad for him, and broken herself that really there was nothing more she could do. She wanted to take the pain away but there was no way for her to do that.
"Kip you want to go home right? I want to go home with you. But Erik is pretty ferm on this one and I don't think I can even change his mind. Not to mention Kyle is driving your car so I can't even kidnap you and drive away. So the longer we still here and tell him now, the longer its going to be before we go home."
Giving the best encouraging smile she could it was all she could do to keep herself from crying. What had happened to Kip was horrible, and it angered her. Tear boiled in her eyes but she had to stay strong to Kip's sake.
"I'll stay with you and I promise I wont leave you. You don't even have to answer any questions if you don't want to ok?"
Sitting with Justin and listing to him take it was hard to understand what he was saying. She didn't know who Jared was, but from bits and peaces here and there she gathered enough info to at least understand a little and her heart broke.
"It hurts because we are human, and people are cruel because they don't feel good enough about themselves."
Seeing Justin gives a shiver Beth goes for another blanket and puts it around him. Her heart broke for her friend. Even if she didn't know the whole story from what she could gather she could see the pain that was lingering.
Taking his hand in her own to look at the cut Beth could feel her stomach twist and turn at the sight of the blood. It looked like a deep cut but it already had started to clot so stitches were really not needed. Just keeping his hand in her own Beth runs her fingers over his skin. She never noticed how soft it felt before.
"A heart will heal over time with tender love and care."
Those words spoken from Beth's mouth seemed to sting her own eyes as she said them. A wounded heart trying to heal...Beth wondered some days if her's ever would too and it had started too. With Justin's friendship very slowly it was starting to heal.
Seeing Justin shiver again Beth moves closer to him and slips her arms over his shoulders pulling him twords her. It almost felt normal and not awkward at all. Bringing him close to her Beth buts the blankets over her own legs and than both over him. Maybe she could use a little of her own warmth to keep him warm too. Having him lean his head on her chest Beth lied sideways on the couch so he could lay next to her and her arms could remain around him.
"I wont leave Justin...not yet. Not till I know you're going to be ok. I promise I wont leave you."
Getting the the hospital and listing to Kip and Erik go at it Karla just continues to run her hand through his hair and sooth him. She felt bad for him, and broken herself that really there was nothing more she could do. She wanted to take the pain away but there was no way for her to do that.
"Kip you want to go home right? I want to go home with you. But Erik is pretty ferm on this one and I don't think I can even change his mind. Not to mention Kyle is driving your car so I can't even kidnap you and drive away. So the longer we still here and tell him now, the longer its going to be before we go home."
Giving the best encouraging smile she could it was all she could do to keep herself from crying. What had happened to Kip was horrible, and it angered her. Tear boiled in her eyes but she had to stay strong to Kip's sake.
"I'll stay with you and I promise I wont leave you. You don't even have to answer any questions if you don't want to ok?"
Sitting with Justin and listing to him take it was hard to understand what he was saying. She didn't know who Jared was, but from bits and peaces here and there she gathered enough info to at least understand a little and her heart broke.
"It hurts because we are human, and people are cruel because they don't feel good enough about themselves."
Seeing Justin gives a shiver Beth goes for another blanket and puts it around him. Her heart broke for her friend. Even if she didn't know the whole story from what she could gather she could see the pain that was lingering.
Taking his hand in her own to look at the cut Beth could feel her stomach twist and turn at the sight of the blood. It looked like a deep cut but it already had started to clot so stitches were really not needed. Just keeping his hand in her own Beth runs her fingers over his skin. She never noticed how soft it felt before.
"A heart will heal over time with tender love and care."
Those words spoken from Beth's mouth seemed to sting her own eyes as she said them. A wounded heart trying to heal...Beth wondered some days if her's ever would too and it had started too. With Justin's friendship very slowly it was starting to heal.
Seeing Justin shiver again Beth moves closer to him and slips her arms over his shoulders pulling him twords her. It almost felt normal and not awkward at all. Bringing him close to her Beth buts the blankets over her own legs and than both over him. Maybe she could use a little of her own warmth to keep him warm too. Having him lean his head on her chest Beth lied sideways on the couch so he could lay next to her and her arms could remain around him.
"I wont leave Justin...not yet. Not till I know you're going to be ok. I promise I wont leave you."
Not yet
Being given the blankets, Justin pulls them up and curls in tighter, shivering and sweating at the same time. Just closing his eyes, he waits until Beth has returned, and obediently takes the Tylenol and orange juice before sinking back down into the cushions again.
Blood in the kitchen? With eyes closed, he furrows his brow. Cut himself? Pain?
He thinks for a few moments and shakes his head lethargically. He'd been trying so hard to stay lucid, but reality was slowly beginning to skew. "It all hurts," he mumbles. "It's more than a cut. Sliced in two is more like it."
Continuing to chill, his fingers clutch at the blankets. "So cold," he mutters between ragged breaths. Finally letting go of the effort to remain focused, the worlds of reality and emotions collide in his mind. "They're all cold. Jared's cold. Why do you think it hurts so much?" Opening his eyes to look up at Beth, they glisten with tears. "I didn't do it on purpose," he whispers. "I didn't."
Shivering again, he moves his hand from under the blanket to reveal the cut on his palm. Dried blood showed where he'd sliced it on some broken glass. "It took care of itself," he reasons groggily. "Why can't wounds to the heart do the same?" His eyes roll back up to Beth again, unaware that she knew nothing about anything that had been happening in his life. "Please don't leave me alone... not yet."
Seeing Karla and Kip emerge from the cabin, Erik lets out a sigh of relief. He was even more glad now that he'd had her come along - otherwise they might have had to drag Kip away.
As they near and Kyle begins to see just how bad of shape Kip was in, he almost winces. His younger friend looked like he'd been in a barroom brawl, and it made Kyle's blood boil even more, thinking about how it had been Kip's father that had made those marks.
"I'll drive Kip's car," he offers.
Erik nods, but his focus was on Karla and Kip as they approach his car. Studying Kip for a moment, he receives no look in return. He wasn't surprised though. His eyes glance to Karla, catching her silent warning not to say much about this. "Yeah... the backseat is yours. Kip, do you have your things inside?"
Kip thinks for a moment, then nods. "There's just my duffel bag," he mumbles, his eyes glued to the ground. "In the bedroom... I think."
"Alright. I'll go get it." Erik turns to jog back to the cabin and retrieve the bag along with Kip's wallet and keys. A quick glance around the rest of the cabin proves that all of Kip's personal belongings are in the bag and nothing is left behind. Once everything is ready to go, Erik returns to Kip and Karla, opening the back door for them. "Easy does it," he encourages
Kip gingerly ducks to enter the car, biting back the urge to cry out as his body protested. Ignoring the seatbelt, and once Karla is in, he slowly slides onto his side with his head in her lap. He knew he didn't have to ask if it was alright, and right now, he just wanted to feel her warmth and soak up all the comfort he could. His ribs hurt so badly, as did his face, but it was worse sitting up, so he just lies still, wishing it were all over.
Erik slides in behind the wheel and glances back to make sure Kip and Karla are settled before he starts the engine. Pulling away, he watches to ensure Kyle is following, then heads for the main road. Back down, twisting and winding, the ride is a quiet one. Once they reach the highway though, Erik turns right instead of left - the opposite of the way they'd come. He was heading into the nearest town instead of home, but he says nothing.
After they reach the city limits and enter the busier streets, Erik's eyes are watchful as he begins to follow the signs. He still says nothing, but quietly continues his route. About forty-five minutes after leaving the cabin, Erik steers into a curved driveway, bypassing the large parking lot and pulling up to the sidewalk nearest the wide glass doors.
Kip feels the car stop and he opens his one eye wearily. Why had they stopped? Did they need gas? Straining to see out the window, he quickly realizes they're not at a gas station. "You rotten-"
"Don't say it," Erik counters calmly as he puts the car in park. This was the nearest hospital and he wasn't going to wait the six hour drive home before getting Kip looked at. Whether his friend wanted it or not, it was for his own good. "I just want to make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine," Kip mutters, leaving his head in Karla's lap. "Get me out of here."
Erik gets out and comes around to Karla's door and opens it up. Squatting down on the pavement so his eye level is nearer to Kip's, he responds. "You'll get to get out of here once they've taken a look at you."
"I don't want-"
"I ask no questions of you, and I don't give you a lecture - all you have to do is come in with me and cooperate for just a little while longer. Please." When Kip doesn't respond, Erik looks to Karla pleadingly. Kip needed help and he needed it from a doctor. All the kind words in the world wouldn't heal his physical wounds or ensure he wasn't badly injured.
Blood in the kitchen? With eyes closed, he furrows his brow. Cut himself? Pain?
He thinks for a few moments and shakes his head lethargically. He'd been trying so hard to stay lucid, but reality was slowly beginning to skew. "It all hurts," he mumbles. "It's more than a cut. Sliced in two is more like it."
Continuing to chill, his fingers clutch at the blankets. "So cold," he mutters between ragged breaths. Finally letting go of the effort to remain focused, the worlds of reality and emotions collide in his mind. "They're all cold. Jared's cold. Why do you think it hurts so much?" Opening his eyes to look up at Beth, they glisten with tears. "I didn't do it on purpose," he whispers. "I didn't."
Shivering again, he moves his hand from under the blanket to reveal the cut on his palm. Dried blood showed where he'd sliced it on some broken glass. "It took care of itself," he reasons groggily. "Why can't wounds to the heart do the same?" His eyes roll back up to Beth again, unaware that she knew nothing about anything that had been happening in his life. "Please don't leave me alone... not yet."
Seeing Karla and Kip emerge from the cabin, Erik lets out a sigh of relief. He was even more glad now that he'd had her come along - otherwise they might have had to drag Kip away.
As they near and Kyle begins to see just how bad of shape Kip was in, he almost winces. His younger friend looked like he'd been in a barroom brawl, and it made Kyle's blood boil even more, thinking about how it had been Kip's father that had made those marks.
"I'll drive Kip's car," he offers.
Erik nods, but his focus was on Karla and Kip as they approach his car. Studying Kip for a moment, he receives no look in return. He wasn't surprised though. His eyes glance to Karla, catching her silent warning not to say much about this. "Yeah... the backseat is yours. Kip, do you have your things inside?"
Kip thinks for a moment, then nods. "There's just my duffel bag," he mumbles, his eyes glued to the ground. "In the bedroom... I think."
"Alright. I'll go get it." Erik turns to jog back to the cabin and retrieve the bag along with Kip's wallet and keys. A quick glance around the rest of the cabin proves that all of Kip's personal belongings are in the bag and nothing is left behind. Once everything is ready to go, Erik returns to Kip and Karla, opening the back door for them. "Easy does it," he encourages
Kip gingerly ducks to enter the car, biting back the urge to cry out as his body protested. Ignoring the seatbelt, and once Karla is in, he slowly slides onto his side with his head in her lap. He knew he didn't have to ask if it was alright, and right now, he just wanted to feel her warmth and soak up all the comfort he could. His ribs hurt so badly, as did his face, but it was worse sitting up, so he just lies still, wishing it were all over.
Erik slides in behind the wheel and glances back to make sure Kip and Karla are settled before he starts the engine. Pulling away, he watches to ensure Kyle is following, then heads for the main road. Back down, twisting and winding, the ride is a quiet one. Once they reach the highway though, Erik turns right instead of left - the opposite of the way they'd come. He was heading into the nearest town instead of home, but he says nothing.
After they reach the city limits and enter the busier streets, Erik's eyes are watchful as he begins to follow the signs. He still says nothing, but quietly continues his route. About forty-five minutes after leaving the cabin, Erik steers into a curved driveway, bypassing the large parking lot and pulling up to the sidewalk nearest the wide glass doors.
Kip feels the car stop and he opens his one eye wearily. Why had they stopped? Did they need gas? Straining to see out the window, he quickly realizes they're not at a gas station. "You rotten-"
"Don't say it," Erik counters calmly as he puts the car in park. This was the nearest hospital and he wasn't going to wait the six hour drive home before getting Kip looked at. Whether his friend wanted it or not, it was for his own good. "I just want to make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine," Kip mutters, leaving his head in Karla's lap. "Get me out of here."
Erik gets out and comes around to Karla's door and opens it up. Squatting down on the pavement so his eye level is nearer to Kip's, he responds. "You'll get to get out of here once they've taken a look at you."
"I don't want-"
"I ask no questions of you, and I don't give you a lecture - all you have to do is come in with me and cooperate for just a little while longer. Please." When Kip doesn't respond, Erik looks to Karla pleadingly. Kip needed help and he needed it from a doctor. All the kind words in the world wouldn't heal his physical wounds or ensure he wasn't badly injured.
11/28/10
Take it slow
Letting out a small sigh Karla did feel bad for Kip. She couldn't imagine how he must be feeling on top of the physical pain the mental pain he was being put through as well. She could remember how it felt when her parents would yell and take there anger out in words on her. It had to be doubled for Kip.
Seeing Kip needed help Karla wastes no time in going to him and gently putting his arm over her shoulders. Taking it very slowly Karla helps him from the room and thought the other room. Hearing his words Karla looks at him as she continues to help him slowly.
"I'm happy he didn't. I really am not ready to try and face the world alone. I'd be pretty lonely without you."
Continuing out of the room and outside Karla does her best to continue helping Kip. Looking up and seeing Erik and Kyle she throws them a look not to talk about what was going on with Kip right now. He needed time to heal and having people throw stuff in his face right now was not what he needed.
"We are ready to go. Just take the ride slow. I'll sit in the back with Kip."
Once Justin was on the couch and Beth got the answer to some of the questions she had asked she moved from the couch and went to the chair grabbing some blankets. Bringing them back over she places them on him up to his neck.
"Here, keep these one even when you get hot. You do have a fever and this should help break it. I'll be right back."
Making her way to the bathroom Beth opens the little cabinet looking for some kind of medicine to give Justin to help with his head. Not seeing anything she makes her way to his bedroom but stops. This was his personal space should she really just badge in? He said they might be in there so he was pretty much giving his permission.
Entering Beth looks on the dresser and than moves to the little night stand seeing the pills she grabs them and comes back out into the other room. Making her way to the kitchen she took a glass out of the cabinet. Taking note to the glass maybe once Justin fell asleep she could clean that up. Taking on OJ from the fridge she puts it in another glass and heads back into the living room.
"Here you go Justin here is some OJ and some Tylenol I found."
Handing it to him and help him with it Beth did her best though her hands still shook a little bit. Once he was done she put the glass down on the table before turning to him again.
"I saw some blood in the kitchen. Did you cut yourself bad?"
Beth didn't know how to handle this. On the inside she was scared to death. Just the sight of the little bit of blood had turned her stomach in knots. How she didn't lose her own dinner was beyond her. Maybe because there was a stronger need there for her to help her friend.
Seeing Kip needed help Karla wastes no time in going to him and gently putting his arm over her shoulders. Taking it very slowly Karla helps him from the room and thought the other room. Hearing his words Karla looks at him as she continues to help him slowly.
"I'm happy he didn't. I really am not ready to try and face the world alone. I'd be pretty lonely without you."
Continuing out of the room and outside Karla does her best to continue helping Kip. Looking up and seeing Erik and Kyle she throws them a look not to talk about what was going on with Kip right now. He needed time to heal and having people throw stuff in his face right now was not what he needed.
"We are ready to go. Just take the ride slow. I'll sit in the back with Kip."
Once Justin was on the couch and Beth got the answer to some of the questions she had asked she moved from the couch and went to the chair grabbing some blankets. Bringing them back over she places them on him up to his neck.
"Here, keep these one even when you get hot. You do have a fever and this should help break it. I'll be right back."
Making her way to the bathroom Beth opens the little cabinet looking for some kind of medicine to give Justin to help with his head. Not seeing anything she makes her way to his bedroom but stops. This was his personal space should she really just badge in? He said they might be in there so he was pretty much giving his permission.
Entering Beth looks on the dresser and than moves to the little night stand seeing the pills she grabs them and comes back out into the other room. Making her way to the kitchen she took a glass out of the cabinet. Taking note to the glass maybe once Justin fell asleep she could clean that up. Taking on OJ from the fridge she puts it in another glass and heads back into the living room.
"Here you go Justin here is some OJ and some Tylenol I found."
Handing it to him and help him with it Beth did her best though her hands still shook a little bit. Once he was done she put the glass down on the table before turning to him again.
"I saw some blood in the kitchen. Did you cut yourself bad?"
Beth didn't know how to handle this. On the inside she was scared to death. Just the sight of the little bit of blood had turned her stomach in knots. How she didn't lose her own dinner was beyond her. Maybe because there was a stronger need there for her to help her friend.
Meltdown
A knock at the door? Was someone knocking? Justin wasn't even sure. Was that someone's muffled voice? Why hadn't he heard the dogs barking? Too lethargic to even try to figure it out, he remains on the floor.
A few minutes later though, as he feels someone's touch and distinguishes Beth's voice, he tries to open his eyes again, but only succeeds in getting them partway there. Beth? She was here? How did she know to come? Why had she? It was late at night, wasn't it? What was she doing here?
His eyes start to roll back in his head again but he manages to bring himself back. He was in no position to complain or tell her to leave. He needed help this time and he knew it.
"I don't know why I'm on the floor," he mumbles lamely. "But I can't get up."
Following instructions and feeling her trying to help him up gives him enough gumption to try again. Though barely able to support his own weight, with her help he manages to get onto the couch and lie on his side, shivering with a cold chill as his body burned with fever.
Beth's question forces him to concentrate and he tries to focus on her face and process his thoughts as understandable words so he could give her what she needed. "I... I don't know," he answers hoarsely. "I think I have a fever..." That would explain why he was so cold or hot and sweaty, though it wouldn't explain why the kitchen was in shambles. "...and a headache... and I can't keep anything down." He swallows hard, trying not to pass out. Facts. He needed to give her facts. "And I'm in the middle of a meltdown." His eyes roll back again before coming into focus once more, only to glisten as they fill. "So if I say or do anything out of character...that's why."
Caught in another wave of chills, his body tenses and he sucks in his breath.
Think, Justin, think. She's here to help but she doesn't know where anything is.
"Um... there's... there's blankets in the chair and..." His eyes fall shut before he forces them open again. "And, um... Tylenol or something... maybe in the bathroom or... my bedroom, I don't know." He shivers again. There were plenty of things to drink in the kitchen along with cans of soup but he didn't even know what he could keep down at this point.
Curling into a tight ball as he shakes, he finally allows his eyes to close again. He didn't want to bother Beth with any of this but maybe if she could stay for just a little while, he could get over this first wave and be able to take care of himself after that.
Kip doesn't move and though forced to look up at Karla once, he doesn't hold his gaze for long, letting his eye drop again. He was too ashamed to look her in the eye. He does hear her though, and he does weigh his options. Even if he didn't let it show, he was grateful for her presence and her care.
"It doesn't matter," he mumbles in response, his words still slightly slurred. "If I say we go later then... then you guys will still take me home so... what's the point in postponing it?"
Sniffing, he wipes his nose with his sleeve and shivers again. "I've... been alone since Sunday morning," he admits. He hadn't eaten anything since then either. "I just... I..." His voice cracks again, his lower lip trembling. "I didn't know how to come back home." And face all those who had warned him not to come here. And have them look at him and know what happened...again. And have them tell him how sorry they were. And experience the worst form of embarrassment he knew. No, he didn't know how to do that.
Kip starts to sigh deeply, but the intake of air creates more pain and he winces, doubling over a little more. Leaning on Karla for a moment of stability, he slowly stretches out his legs until they hung over the bed and he could gain some leverage to pull himself to the edge. Though he made no sound, the pain was excruciating. Mustering up what little courage he had left, he stands a bit wobbly. He tucks his sore arm up by his side, while his other arm stays wrapped around his ribcage. After one painful step though, he stops. His wounds were days old and he was cold and stiff on top of everything else.
He finally turns to look at Karla on his own. His gaze was dark, seeming to lack all life. "I need your help," he admits quietly. Waiting for her to join him, he moves his arm around her shoulders to lean some of his weight on her. As they trudge slowly through the cabin, it felt as though any ounce of dignity he had left was now gone. The pieces of broken furniture and objects were stepped over carefully, any ounce of hope for better days seeming to be in just as many pieces. "I wish my dad woulda finished the job," he mutters under his breath.
A few minutes later though, as he feels someone's touch and distinguishes Beth's voice, he tries to open his eyes again, but only succeeds in getting them partway there. Beth? She was here? How did she know to come? Why had she? It was late at night, wasn't it? What was she doing here?
His eyes start to roll back in his head again but he manages to bring himself back. He was in no position to complain or tell her to leave. He needed help this time and he knew it.
"I don't know why I'm on the floor," he mumbles lamely. "But I can't get up."
Following instructions and feeling her trying to help him up gives him enough gumption to try again. Though barely able to support his own weight, with her help he manages to get onto the couch and lie on his side, shivering with a cold chill as his body burned with fever.
Beth's question forces him to concentrate and he tries to focus on her face and process his thoughts as understandable words so he could give her what she needed. "I... I don't know," he answers hoarsely. "I think I have a fever..." That would explain why he was so cold or hot and sweaty, though it wouldn't explain why the kitchen was in shambles. "...and a headache... and I can't keep anything down." He swallows hard, trying not to pass out. Facts. He needed to give her facts. "And I'm in the middle of a meltdown." His eyes roll back again before coming into focus once more, only to glisten as they fill. "So if I say or do anything out of character...that's why."
Caught in another wave of chills, his body tenses and he sucks in his breath.
Think, Justin, think. She's here to help but she doesn't know where anything is.
"Um... there's... there's blankets in the chair and..." His eyes fall shut before he forces them open again. "And, um... Tylenol or something... maybe in the bathroom or... my bedroom, I don't know." He shivers again. There were plenty of things to drink in the kitchen along with cans of soup but he didn't even know what he could keep down at this point.
Curling into a tight ball as he shakes, he finally allows his eyes to close again. He didn't want to bother Beth with any of this but maybe if she could stay for just a little while, he could get over this first wave and be able to take care of himself after that.
Kip doesn't move and though forced to look up at Karla once, he doesn't hold his gaze for long, letting his eye drop again. He was too ashamed to look her in the eye. He does hear her though, and he does weigh his options. Even if he didn't let it show, he was grateful for her presence and her care.
"It doesn't matter," he mumbles in response, his words still slightly slurred. "If I say we go later then... then you guys will still take me home so... what's the point in postponing it?"
Sniffing, he wipes his nose with his sleeve and shivers again. "I've... been alone since Sunday morning," he admits. He hadn't eaten anything since then either. "I just... I..." His voice cracks again, his lower lip trembling. "I didn't know how to come back home." And face all those who had warned him not to come here. And have them look at him and know what happened...again. And have them tell him how sorry they were. And experience the worst form of embarrassment he knew. No, he didn't know how to do that.
Kip starts to sigh deeply, but the intake of air creates more pain and he winces, doubling over a little more. Leaning on Karla for a moment of stability, he slowly stretches out his legs until they hung over the bed and he could gain some leverage to pull himself to the edge. Though he made no sound, the pain was excruciating. Mustering up what little courage he had left, he stands a bit wobbly. He tucks his sore arm up by his side, while his other arm stays wrapped around his ribcage. After one painful step though, he stops. His wounds were days old and he was cold and stiff on top of everything else.
He finally turns to look at Karla on his own. His gaze was dark, seeming to lack all life. "I need your help," he admits quietly. Waiting for her to join him, he moves his arm around her shoulders to lean some of his weight on her. As they trudge slowly through the cabin, it felt as though any ounce of dignity he had left was now gone. The pieces of broken furniture and objects were stepped over carefully, any ounce of hope for better days seeming to be in just as many pieces. "I wish my dad woulda finished the job," he mutters under his breath.
Help First
Just staying there with Kip and doing her best to comfort him Karla didn't care how long they stayed there. If they were going to sit there all day it was fine by her. Kip needed to see someone about his injures but he needed someone who wouldn't push him even more. Her heart was breaking and somewhere inside she couldn't help but feel like was partly her fault. What if she had asked him not to go too? Would he still have gone or would he had been spared from this pain?
As he shifts a little Karla shifts too just watching him as he pulls his hood back. Seeing the damage done to his face it crushed Karla. How could anyone do something like this to there child? A person like that should be shot that was for use. Though she was surprised and shocked her face expression did not change from anything but love and care for Kip. If it had it might have made things worse.
"I am sure it does hurt Kip, but we can take it slow. We can go as slow or as fast as you want but I'm not going to leave you."
Karla's fingers find Kips as she very softly runs her hand over his. She wanted him to know she was there. That she cared and still loved him no matter what had happened her thoughts about him, everything she new he was hadn't changed in the least bit.
"You don't have to talk to anyone right now Kip if you don't want too, but please let us get you some place warm before you catch death of cold. I don't want to see that happen."
She didn't know if Kip would come or not but she meant what she said. If he didn't than she would stay there in the cold with him. She wasnt going to leave him again when he needed her. He'd been there for her and now...now she was going to return the favor if he wanted it or not He was way to important to her to just leave him abandoned.
Taking fingers from his hand and resting them gently on his chin Karla lifts his face so she could look into his one good eye. She didn't care what his face looked like she still loved him and cared for him that much was undeniable.
"You mean the world to me Kip, now and forever. If we are gonna stay here a little bit though I am going to go out to the car and grab the first aid kit I know Erik keeps there..ok? You just let me know if you want to stay a little while longer, or if you want to go."
Waiting while Susanne walked to her car and started it up Chuck new she would be ok now. Not that if anyone had tried to jump her on the short walk she wouldn't have been able to defend herself but it just made him fell better knowing she got to her car safely.
Finally giving a wave Chuck pulls away his mind so full, and his heart feeling the same. Then flutters that moves around inside him was a nice a feeling. Susanne was certainly different and he loved it. She was sweet, nice, kind and didn't try to be anyone but herself.
Just enjoying the night ride Chuck decides to take the long way home. It had been a nice time out, and dinner was enjoyable. Riding he felt free and it was peaceful to him. Things seemed to be falling into place now. All in God's time thats what Chuck had to remember. It was all in his time.
Sitting reading a book Beth jumps as the silence in the house is shattered by the sound of scratching and a bark that rings through the night. Looking to the door Beth waits and listens as her heart races. Hearing the scratching again and hearing another whimper and bark Beth couldn't help but feel like she new that bark. Was...Justin here? Why would he like the dogs bark like that if he was and not knock on the door?
Standing and going to the door slowly Beth looks out. Not seeing anyone she opens the door to be greeted by one of Justin's dogs. Bending out to scratch Danitza behind the ears Beth looks to the driveway for Justin's car. Not seeing it Beth couldn't help but feel a little bit of panic. How did the dog get here if Justin hadnt been around? It was a long way to run.
"What are you doing here mmm? Did you get loose from Justin? Come on you lets see if we can call to see where he is ok!"
Bringing the dog inside and closing the door behind her Beth goes to the phone and dials Justin's home number. Not getting an answer she than dials his cell and still gets nothing. Looking down at the dog again Beth could see an eager look in the dog's eye maybe even one that said she was uneasy or upset. It seemed to make Beth worry just a little more.
"Should we take a nice drive out there? At least I can tie you up again if he's not there so he wont worry."
Patting the dog on the head again Beth grabs her jacket and puts it on before taking her keys. She could tell something wasn't right. Patting her leg so the dog would follow Beth opens her car door so she could jump in and than gets in her side. Trying Justin's phone one more time as she pulled out of the parking lot.
...An hour later Beth was pulling into Justin's driveway. How she found her way back here after only coming once she wasn't sure but it was easier than one would expect. Going up the driveway and seeing Justin's truck in the drive way Beth's heart raced even more. If Justin was home why hadn't he answered his phone.
Looking to Danitze Beth's eyes held worry. Getting out and having the dog follow Beth made her way up to the porch, seeing Zora sitting by the door Beth gives her a small nod. Knocking on the door she waited. Knocking again she waited. Getting no answer she check the door and seeing it up locked she push it open.
"Justin...its Beth..Danitze found her way to my house some how. Justin...are you here?"
Silence was the only thing to meet her as she entered. Stepping into the dim lit room Beth saw a light in the kitchen on and heads that way. She couldn't help the cold chill the ran down her spine. Entering and seeing the mess on the floor Beth stops and her heart races even more. It felt like her hole body had gone cold. This was not right. Turning quickly Beth check the bathroom and finds nothing before going to the living room where the dogs had gone.
Seeing Justin laying on the floor Beth freezes. A million thoughts run through her mind. Blood laid in different spots and pictures as clear as day ran around her brain. Her parents, everything that happened the blood.
Giving a shake of her head Beth looked down at Justin's still body again. He needed her...she couldn't freak out. Going to him and placing a hand on his neck Beth's heart continues to race but feeling Justin's pulse seemed to calm her a little he was a live.
"Justin, It's Beth can you hear me? What happened? Here see if you can get up on the couch for me and off the floor."
Being gentile Beth does her best to try and help Justin up off the floor and onto the couch. Feeling his head with her palm she can feel he has a fever. He must be sick. Thinking for a moment she wondered if he needed to go to the hospetil or if he could stay here. She'd never had to help someone who was sick before.
"When was the last time you had anything to eat or drink Justin?"
If he was at least a little coharent that was good she it meant he was not in a danger stage. He could stay here and she could try to help him. If he got worse than she would take him some where. For now he would be ok she hoped.
As he shifts a little Karla shifts too just watching him as he pulls his hood back. Seeing the damage done to his face it crushed Karla. How could anyone do something like this to there child? A person like that should be shot that was for use. Though she was surprised and shocked her face expression did not change from anything but love and care for Kip. If it had it might have made things worse.
"I am sure it does hurt Kip, but we can take it slow. We can go as slow or as fast as you want but I'm not going to leave you."
Karla's fingers find Kips as she very softly runs her hand over his. She wanted him to know she was there. That she cared and still loved him no matter what had happened her thoughts about him, everything she new he was hadn't changed in the least bit.
"You don't have to talk to anyone right now Kip if you don't want too, but please let us get you some place warm before you catch death of cold. I don't want to see that happen."
She didn't know if Kip would come or not but she meant what she said. If he didn't than she would stay there in the cold with him. She wasnt going to leave him again when he needed her. He'd been there for her and now...now she was going to return the favor if he wanted it or not He was way to important to her to just leave him abandoned.
Taking fingers from his hand and resting them gently on his chin Karla lifts his face so she could look into his one good eye. She didn't care what his face looked like she still loved him and cared for him that much was undeniable.
"You mean the world to me Kip, now and forever. If we are gonna stay here a little bit though I am going to go out to the car and grab the first aid kit I know Erik keeps there..ok? You just let me know if you want to stay a little while longer, or if you want to go."
Waiting while Susanne walked to her car and started it up Chuck new she would be ok now. Not that if anyone had tried to jump her on the short walk she wouldn't have been able to defend herself but it just made him fell better knowing she got to her car safely.
Finally giving a wave Chuck pulls away his mind so full, and his heart feeling the same. Then flutters that moves around inside him was a nice a feeling. Susanne was certainly different and he loved it. She was sweet, nice, kind and didn't try to be anyone but herself.
Just enjoying the night ride Chuck decides to take the long way home. It had been a nice time out, and dinner was enjoyable. Riding he felt free and it was peaceful to him. Things seemed to be falling into place now. All in God's time thats what Chuck had to remember. It was all in his time.
Sitting reading a book Beth jumps as the silence in the house is shattered by the sound of scratching and a bark that rings through the night. Looking to the door Beth waits and listens as her heart races. Hearing the scratching again and hearing another whimper and bark Beth couldn't help but feel like she new that bark. Was...Justin here? Why would he like the dogs bark like that if he was and not knock on the door?
Standing and going to the door slowly Beth looks out. Not seeing anyone she opens the door to be greeted by one of Justin's dogs. Bending out to scratch Danitza behind the ears Beth looks to the driveway for Justin's car. Not seeing it Beth couldn't help but feel a little bit of panic. How did the dog get here if Justin hadnt been around? It was a long way to run.
"What are you doing here mmm? Did you get loose from Justin? Come on you lets see if we can call to see where he is ok!"
Bringing the dog inside and closing the door behind her Beth goes to the phone and dials Justin's home number. Not getting an answer she than dials his cell and still gets nothing. Looking down at the dog again Beth could see an eager look in the dog's eye maybe even one that said she was uneasy or upset. It seemed to make Beth worry just a little more.
"Should we take a nice drive out there? At least I can tie you up again if he's not there so he wont worry."
Patting the dog on the head again Beth grabs her jacket and puts it on before taking her keys. She could tell something wasn't right. Patting her leg so the dog would follow Beth opens her car door so she could jump in and than gets in her side. Trying Justin's phone one more time as she pulled out of the parking lot.
...An hour later Beth was pulling into Justin's driveway. How she found her way back here after only coming once she wasn't sure but it was easier than one would expect. Going up the driveway and seeing Justin's truck in the drive way Beth's heart raced even more. If Justin was home why hadn't he answered his phone.
Looking to Danitze Beth's eyes held worry. Getting out and having the dog follow Beth made her way up to the porch, seeing Zora sitting by the door Beth gives her a small nod. Knocking on the door she waited. Knocking again she waited. Getting no answer she check the door and seeing it up locked she push it open.
"Justin...its Beth..Danitze found her way to my house some how. Justin...are you here?"
Silence was the only thing to meet her as she entered. Stepping into the dim lit room Beth saw a light in the kitchen on and heads that way. She couldn't help the cold chill the ran down her spine. Entering and seeing the mess on the floor Beth stops and her heart races even more. It felt like her hole body had gone cold. This was not right. Turning quickly Beth check the bathroom and finds nothing before going to the living room where the dogs had gone.
Seeing Justin laying on the floor Beth freezes. A million thoughts run through her mind. Blood laid in different spots and pictures as clear as day ran around her brain. Her parents, everything that happened the blood.
Giving a shake of her head Beth looked down at Justin's still body again. He needed her...she couldn't freak out. Going to him and placing a hand on his neck Beth's heart continues to race but feeling Justin's pulse seemed to calm her a little he was a live.
"Justin, It's Beth can you hear me? What happened? Here see if you can get up on the couch for me and off the floor."
Being gentile Beth does her best to try and help Justin up off the floor and onto the couch. Feeling his head with her palm she can feel he has a fever. He must be sick. Thinking for a moment she wondered if he needed to go to the hospetil or if he could stay here. She'd never had to help someone who was sick before.
"When was the last time you had anything to eat or drink Justin?"
If he was at least a little coharent that was good she it meant he was not in a danger stage. He could stay here and she could try to help him. If he got worse than she would take him some where. For now he would be ok she hoped.
11/27/10
In Need
Outside, Erik and Kyle, now by the car, wait. "How'd he look?" Kyle questions.
"Not good." Erik leans back on the hood. "I didn't want to push him so I didn't get a close look, but... I'd say it's the worst it's been."
"Like... need a hospital bad?"
"We'll need Karla to convince him to let us take him to the ER but I would feel better if we did, just to make sure he's okay. The cabin is a shambles... I think he got more than a couple punches to the face and... just speculation, but I doubt he's eaten in over a day."
Kyle shakes his head slowly, unable to believe a father who would do that to his own son... multiple times. At the same time, it was hard to believe how Kip fell for it every time as well. "I'll call Alice," he volunteers. "At least she can let the others know we found him."
Kip hears footsteps again but doesn't look up. Whoever it was, he'd just tell them to go away. He'd recover on his own and leave when he wanted to, not when Erik wanted. Feeling the bed shift, he still doesn't move. Not until he hears Karla's voice.
He hadn't expected her to be there, and his one eye cracks open, his head rising slightly. As she scoots back and slips an arm around his shoulders, he felt his wall of stubbornness start to crack. Her words made it crack even more. Maybe he'd expected a reprimand or at least a gentle chide, but neither were there - not even from Erik, come to think of it.
Hesitating a moment, Kip finally leans a little to the side, his head falling to rest on Karla's shoulder. It hurt to move though, and something like a whimper slips out, his arms tightening around himself. For the longest time, he says nothing but simply sits, knowing that someone who wouldn't judge him was right here.
Eventually though, as the minutes drag on, he knows that he can't stay here like this forever. Something had to give. He either had to make the first move or have Erik come back in and force him to.
Sliding back just a little and shifting to face Karla, his gaze remains glued to the bed, unwilling to look up at her. Slowly, he draws back his hood, revealing the damage to his lip and cheeks, along with both black eyes - his right one that was swollen shut. He knew he looked like he'd been in the boxing ring. He'd tried his best to clean himself up in the bathroom but there were hardly any first aid supplies to begin with, and hurting all over didn't help.
Moving his arms back around his legs, his sleeve rides up to expose his swollen and bruised right wrist, though his wince and sharp intake of air gives away that he was hurt somewhere else as well. "I can't... can't move very much," he slurs. "It... it hurts." His voice cracks as sa tear runs down his cheek, proving the pain was much worse than his physical injuries.
"We had a fight," he manages to explain. "Just like... like everyone else knew." He swallows hard again and shivers a little, still cold. "I tried to... stand up for myself." Another tear trickles down his face before falling to his knee where it soaks into his jeans. "It didn't work."
"I just... want to stay here," he mumbles, his eyes still lowered. "I don't wanna see anyone or talk to... to anyone."
Being brought closer to Chuck, Susanne's cheeks flush but she doesn't back away. His palm on her cheek was rough yet so soft - it seemed an impossible combination. She grins at his comment about payment for the next meal, her eyes twinkling with challenge as if saying, we shall see who wins this one.
A kiss wasn't what she'd expected so when she feels his lips brush against hers so gently, she tenses but doesn't pull back until after he'd retreated. Blinking, her eyes delve into his, searching once more for his intentions. But all she found was simple pleasure - nothing to be frightened of, even if her heart was racing, her pulse pounding.
"Thank you too, Chuck." Her voice was but a whisper and she clears her throat, regaining composure. She lets her hand slip from his and backs up a step, nodding. "Goodnight."
"Ma?" Justin enters the house, slipping off his shoes as the shopping bags rustle in his hands. He'd seen a strange car in the driveway and that always put him a little on edge. "Ma, you here?" He'd let himself in as usual.
"In the kitchen!" Lydia calls.
Heading that way, Justin enters only to stop dead in his tracks. Locking eyes with the other man in the kitchen, his gaze is one of shock. "Jared."
His brother smiles and waves. "Hey, little brother."
Not only was Justin younger, but he was shorter and less broad as well - "little" brother seemed to fit but always irked him anyway. He lets it roll off his back though, and continues his route to set the grocery bags on the counter. "What are you doing here?" He was miserable the way it was, and had hoped for a simple, quiet supper with his mother where he could break the news to her that he and Rebecca were over.
"Well, hi to you too." Jared laughs and folds his arms. "I'm visiting my mother. What are you doing?"
"My job." Justin throws him a warning glance. "Didn't recognize the car. New?"
"Yep. Had it for a couple months."
"Saw Utah license plates."
"Oh, I didn't tell you I moved?"
"Uh... no." Justin retrieves the milk and moves to the refrigerator to put it away.
Lydia seems oblivious to the tension and clasps her hands happily. "My two boys together, here at the same time. This calls for celebration." She immediately moves to the cupboard to see what she had to cook with.
"No, Ma..." Justin continues to put away the fresh groceries, knowing where everything went. "I shouldn't stay. I've got-"
"Nonsense!" Lydia pulls down some canned tomato juice. "Jared's only here for one night. Your dogs can wait."
"Yeah, and so can my mail, yard, phone..." Justin really was not in the mood for any of this. It was bad enough that he was still trying to deal with all of yesterday - now he had this to deal with, too. "I really should go."
Jared snickers. "Those two dogs are still your life, huh? Man, you need a girl."
Justin shoots him a look that could kill. "At least I don't go chasing after three or four at a time."
Jared's smile fades at the insult. Even if it was true that he tended to go after more than one girl at a time, his brother had no right to say that. "At least I have a life," he retorts.
"Justin, did you pick up the celery?" Lydia interrupts, clueless about the spat.
"Yeah." Justin lets the other subject drop and fishes the celery out of one of the bags to hand it to her. As he puts away the rest of the groceries, his ire intensifies. Jared was standing there doing absolutely nothing. He came for one night and everybody rejoiced. Justin was here almost every day, making sure his mother was taken care of, doing her grocery shopping and making sure she had rides wherever she needed to go. But that was normal. Nothing special. He knew all it was was stupid jealousy, and tries stamp it out before it got out of hand. His mother was glad to see her other son - that was natural and she deserved to be happy about it.
"Justin, you look so pale." Lydia reaches up to cradle his face, tucking aside a stray strand of hair. "Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine, Ma." He'd been feeling a bit lethargic today after waking up dizzy and hoped he wasn't coming down with something, though he'd figured it was just stress.
"...so I'm on my way to Louisiana for that conference." Between mouthfuls of supper, Jared explains him showing up.
Justin sips his water, having barely touched his own meal. "How come you didn't fly?"
Jared grins, waving his fork as he talks. "Why not enjoy the trip if the company's gonna pay for it?"
Justin shouldn't have been surprised. "Ah. A nice joy ride and vacation on company time. Smart."
"I thought so." Jared grins and takes a last bite of food before scraping the remaining bits off his plate. "Mmm have I missed your cooking, Mom."
Lydia beams. "You can have more if you stay longer," she bribes.
Jared laughs. "The offer is quite enticing. I did leave earlier than planned..." He pauses in thought. "I could stick around tomorrow, but I'd have to leave right after supper."
"Oh, could you?" Lydia's eyes light up. "Then Justin can come back and we can-"
"I'm gonna be busy, Ma," Justin interrupts. "I'm sorry."
Lydia lifts a skeptical eyebrow. "You didn't say so yesterday."
"Well, plans change. I got things going on, you know that."
"Still spend your time chatting with the nutcases?" Jared questions.
Justin stares at him in disbelief. That was low, even for Jared. Setting his napkin aside, Justin stands and goes to kiss his mother on her cheek. "I need to go. The meal was great."
Lydia shows her disappointment. "So soon? I have dessert."
"Save me some. Enjoy the rest of your evening and if you need anything, call."
"Oh, I'll be fine." Her smile returns. "I'll have Jared here for the night so you don't have to worry."
"Of course." A new knot had formed in Justin's stomach.
Jared stands as well. "I'll walk you out."
Justin was perfectly capable on his own, but he doesn't argue. Heading to the door, he finds his sneakers and sits down to put them on. Jared leans against the wall with his arms folded. "Since I'm staying an extra day, thought I might visit Dad's grave while I'm here."
Justin bristles but only grunts in response.
Jared persists. "Want to join me, or... do you still avoid the cemetery?"
Justin's blood begins to boil and he ties his shoes tighter than they need to be. "I won't be offended if you go without me," he manages tersely.
Jared chuckles. "Yeah, okay. Sorry I brought it up. Sometimes I forget. I guess if I was in your position I might be the same way."
"My... position?" Justin stands up to face his brother, suspicion on his face.
"Sure." Jared shrugs. "With what happened and all. I mean, I'd feel guilty, too."
"Guilty?"
"Well the only reason I can remember when Dad died is because of your birthday. If it was me who'd taken the blame, I wouldn't want to visit his grave either."
Justin had known there was some bitterness there on his brother's part, but he thought Jared would have grown up by now and moved on. The last few times they'd seen each other, this had not come up, which said perhaps Jared's bitterness was growing. No matter the reason, he'd struck a cord and Justin was livid. "You arrogant fool," he hisses. "Be glad I have self-control right now or you'd be on the floor."
"Whoa..." Jared holds up his hands. "Big talk from the little man. I didn't mean to insult you there - I was just stating the facts. Don't go killing anyone else now."
Anyone else? It was the last straw. "Maybe I don't have as much control as I thought," Justin admits quite calmly - calmly enough that even Jared isn't prepared for the fist flying in his direction. Neither man had ever struck the other - not even as kids. But tonight, blood flew as hard knuckles met soft flesh. Jared's mouth is squarely hit and hard enough that he's thrown off balance and stumbles to the floor.
"Justin!" Lydia had not been seen by either man. She stands in the hall, her face pale and shocked. Hurrying to Jared and kneeling down to press a dishtowel to his bleeding mouth, she looks up at her second son, stunned by his actions. So stunned that she can't even ask why he had done this.
Overcome with anger and guilt, Justin backs away. If he'd wanted to disappoint his mother and make Jared look like a saint, he'd done a very good job. No intelligible words seem to form, so a silent stare is the only communication. Turning around, he exits the house and goes to his truck to leave.
Lydia is trembling as she tries to help Jared even while her wide eyes had followed her other son outside. "Out of character" would be the ultimate understatement, and even she recognized that. Justin never lashed out... never. Swallowing hard, she finally turns her complete attention to Jared. "Are you alright? Do you need a doctor?"
"No, I... I don't think so." Jared blinks and sits up, feeling his lower lip that was still bleeding. His teeth felt like they'd been whacked with a hammer and fingering one tooth along his lower jaw, it falls out into his palm.
"Good heavens." Lydia takes his arm to help him stand up. "Come. Rinse with water. You will have to go to a dentist now."
Jared follows her dumbly to the kitchen where he rinses and spits in the sink, eventually using a cotton swab to try and stop the bleeding in his mouth. Sitting at the kitchen table and being doctored by his mother, he allows it, silently stewing.
"Why did he hit you?" Lydia finally asks as she washes the dishes from supper.
"I don't know. He just flew off the handle."
"Well what did you say to him?"
"Nothing." Jared shrugs lamely. "I said something about him not wanting to be with family and he just slugged me. I don't think he likes spending time over here."
Lydia scrubs a plate, her face furrowed with worry. "Because he didn't want to come tomorrow?"
"Well... that, and..."
Lydia turns. "And what?"
"I wasn't going to say anything." Jared hesitates. "But well... he said he was tired of running errands all the time, like shopping and stuff. That's when I said he apparently didn't see that it was the family's job to stick together and that he obviously didn't want to spend time with you or me. Then he hauled off and hit me. I'm sorry... I guess it's my fault for antagonizing him."
Lydia wipes her hands on a towel and slowly joins him at the table, sinking down in another chair. "He... he never complains." Her eyes were clouded with concern. "If I ever thought he was unhappy, I would find someone else to help me. I do not want to burden him."
Jared shrugs. "Maybe you can hire someone to do your shopping and even help with your cleaning and stuff."
"Oh, but the money..."
"I'd help," he offers. "It's the least I could do."
"I could never ask-"
"You didn't. I'm offering," he states flatly. "I'm the one that lives too far away to visit every day. If it wasn't for my job, you know I'd be right here, spending as much time with you as I could. So since I can't, let me do this for you. Let me help with someone to run your errands, and then Justin will be free as well."
There was more than concern in Lydia's eyes now. There was confusion... and hurt. "If only I'd known..."
"Now... you can't think of it that way. I'm sure Justin loves you the same. Maybe he just got tired over time and didn't want to say anything. But you can't worry about it now. It's over. We can even start tomorrow looking for someone to help you."
Once home, Justin parks his truck but remains behind the wheel for the longest time, just staring out into the darkness. It had been a long time since someone's words had stung as deeply as Jared's had tonight. Unfortunately, Justin's reaction had been just what his brother had wanted. He'd been stupid, that was for sure, and more than likely, he'd have to explain to his mother soon what had happened as well. He'd have to soften it a bit so she didn't think too badly of Jared. Justin hated him right now, but there was no point in hurting his mother by making her see that her eldest son was a jerk.
Finally getting out of his truck, Justin wanders to the house and pats the two dogs on the way, but is less than enthusiastic, despite their wagging tails. It's not too long after that he's lying on his couch, not having made it to his bedroom. He was exhausted and not tired at the same time, keeping his mind wide awake. Unfortunately, Jared's words had brought on a flood of memories - memories that Justin did not like to face. He could tell anyone about the past... he'd moved on and worked through the death of his father. But down deep there was still numbing pain that he was very good at covering up. And the worst part was that he wanted to call Rebecca and tell her what happened so she could comfort him... and he couldn't even do that now. He wanted to talk to someone... to tell someone how he felt so he could get some of this weight off his shoulders. Beth crosses his mind, but he again resists. She didn't need to be concerned with his problems. He hadn't talked to her yesterday or today, but that was probably a good thing anyway.
He tries to sleep and forget, but the pain and guilt press down on him. He would tell anyone that he no longer believed his childish thoughts that the accident had been his fault. But maybe Jared was right. All in all, if it hadn't been for Justin's planned trip with his father, the accident would have been avoided. So really... if anyone needed to be blamed...
Justin scrunches his eyes shut tightly and turns over to slam his head down into a couch throw pillow. Sleep. That's all he needed. These emotions were unjustified. Pointless. Illogical. He knew good and well that the accident had not been his fault. It hadn't... it just hadn't......right?
...A loud clap of thunder rattles the house and makes Justin jump, waking him from his sleep. It takes him a moment to focus and realize that he was still on the living room couch. It had not been a good night - one of the worst in years with tossing, turning and dreams he'd rather have forgotten.
Sitting up, still a little dazed, he sees that it's already eight o'clock and he had no idea when the storm had rolled in. Lethargic and exhausted, he goes to the kitchen to find some apple juice. His stomach didn't feel all that great, and he felt warmer than he should, but he tries to ignore it. Once he'd been able to clean up a little bit and become more alert, he picks up the phone, mustering up the nerve to call his mother. Last night had not gone well at all, but he still owed it to her to check and make sure things were fine. He was supposed to have gone to the butcher for her today and he wanted her to know he'd still do that - he just needed her list. And somehow... he'd manage to avoid Jared when he went to the house.
After several rings, his mother picks up. "Hey, Ma... it's me." He chews on the inside of his lip, remembering the look on her face last night when he'd slugged his brother.
"Justin?" She sounded surprised.
"Yeah. Um... listen, I'm sorry about last night and... I wondered if you still had that list for the butcher. I was supposed to pick up some meat for you today."
"Oh..." Lydia hesitates. "Well, um... it's okay. I mean, it's going to be taken care of. You... you don't have to do those errands anymore. You need a break."
Justin blinks and he suddenly regrets drinking that glass of juice. "But... if this has to do with last night, I'm sorry. I was totally out of line and I'm more than willing to talk to you about it later. I'm fine with running your errands, you know that."
Lydia furrows her brow and looks to Jared who was standing next to her, able to hear what Justin was saying. He shakes his head and whispers to her. "He's just trying to manipulate you. Stop letting him do that."
She frowns and speaks to Justin again. "No, no... I understand, and you need your own time. It's time you didn't have to worry about these things."
Justin was stunned. What was going on? He knew she was upset he'd hit Jared, but why was she acting like this? "I don't mind," he tries again. "How about I just come later tonight at least, and we can talk?"
Lydia looks to Jared again, about to say yes on the phone, but he shakes his head with a warning glance. He speaks quietly again. "Remember what we talked about this morning? What if he gets mad again? What if it's you he decides to swing at? I don't want you hurt. He needs to back off for a while. He shouldn't be coming here if he's going to hurt people."
She swallows hard, her eyes full of sorrow. "I... I'm sorry, Justin. But you..."
When she has trouble saying it, Jared prompts her with a nod and more verbal encouragement. "Your safety comes first," he whispers hoarsely. "You know he's dangerous." He points to his still-swollen lip. "I won't stand for him being here when he's got a temper like that."
A tear rolls down Lydia's face and her voice trembles as she speaks to her younger son again. "You shouldn't come," she states bravely.
Jared points to his lip again with emphasis and Lydia musters up the strength to continue. "I don't want you to come. Not... not when you are so angry and you hurt people."
Something close to panic sets in and Justin runs a hand through his hair as he desperately racks his brain. "It won't happen again. Look, I was mad at Jared and I'm sorry. I'll wait until he's gone so there's no chance of another conflict, okay?"
Jared frowns and shakes his head. "It'll be you next time," he warns his mother.
Lydia's lower lip quivers and she closes her eyes. "Justin... stay away. Please. Do not come."
The fear in his mother's voice cuts Justin like a knife. "You're afraid of me," he states, shocked by the evident truth. "Ma, you know that I would never hurt you." Silence. "Right? You know that."
Lydia looks to Jared as another tear follows the first down her face. Her eyes asked him what to do. Reaching out, Jared takes the phone and while they can both still hear Justin talking, he hangs up. Lydia chokes on another tear and leans against her son as he wraps his arms around her in a hug. Resting her face on his chest, she cries, mourning the necessary rejection.
"You did the right thing," Jared assures. "I'm proud of you."
"I lost my temper with Jared, but that had nothing to do with you. I would never-" Click.
Justin cuts off his words as he realizes that his mother had just hung up on him. Never in all his years and even some spats they'd had, had she hung up on him. He stares at the phone numbly, too shocked to know how to feel.
Hanging up, he lowers himself onto the couch, completely stunned. His mother was afraid of him. And she had told him not to come back. His mother was half his life. He complained about her needs sometimes... and sometimes he complained about her unintentionally smothering him or getting involved in areas she shouldn't. But he loved her to no end and never would he even remotely consider harming her in any way, shape or form. How could she think that?
Looking down at his sore hand, he rubs over the knuckles that had struck his brother. One move... one stupid move and his world had suddenly flipped. If only he had held his temper. If only he had not allowed Jared to get to him. None of this would have happened. His own mother was afraid of him. And he was appalled.
Without warning, Justin's stomach lurches, reacting to the mounting stress. Standing quickly, he aims for the bathroom, making it just in time to throw up. Instantaneously, a splitting headache forms, pounding against his skull. Sinking down to the floor, Justin tries to get a grip, but it all seems too much to handle. He'd failed with Scott and therefore was out of that job and income from Brookshire. Rebecca had broken up with him. His friends really weren't friends at all. The memories and guilt surrounding his father's death were back. The rift between himself an his brother had grown wider. And now his mother had pushed him away out of fear. It was a living nightmare.
Another spasm causes him to throw up again and his body starts to shake. Being stressed out was not something he often did, so he calmly deducts that since he was trying to deal with everything all at once, this was probably a minor breakdown and he really needed to just settle down and think himself through it. He was perfectly capable if he could just sort through the logic and go with the flow. It shouldn't be hard. He walked other people through their problems all the time. Convincing himself of the same things should be a piece of cake.
Throwing up a third time, he wonders if his stomach even has anything left. Unfortunately, it did, and after several more retaliations from his stomach, he still sits on the floor, exhausted. Sweat trickles down the side of his face and his head hurts so badly he thinks he might pass out.
Trying to stand with the aid of the bathroom counter, his knees prove to be too weak and he slides to the floor again. Rain pelts against the window and he can hear the dogs barking their complaints. A loud roll of thunder makes him cringe. With heart still pounding, he crawls out of the bathroom, aiming for the kitchen to get something to drink. He was alert, knowing full well what was going on, able to think through everything and know what he needed to do to take care of himself. But his body just wasn't cooperating. With all of his stress bottled up inside, it had only been a matter of time before it took its toll.
Halfway to the kitchen, Justin stops as the room grows dark and his dizziness increases. He tries to shake it off, knowing that his body wanted to pass out. Fighting it for all he was worth, he crawls a little farther, but it's no use. Leaning against the wall and slowly sliding down until he was lying on the carpet, everything goes black...
...The phone is ringing. Answer the phone. Where is the phone? It's ringing.
Justin's eyes open and he stares into the dimly lit living room from where he was still lying at the edge of the hallway. He comes to just in time to hear his answering machine pick up and a bill collector's voice warn him about his electricity payment before hanging up.
Justin's mouth felt like cotton and he swallows hard. Bringing his wrist around, he checks his watch. He'd been unconscious for several hours. That wasn't good. If only his body were as functional as his mind right now, he'd be fine. He vaguely remembers being around someone a couple days ago who had come down with the a severe case of the flu. Maybe that's what some of this was - most likely it was stress with a bug on top of it, making for a deadly combination.
Getting back on his hands and knees, he finally makes it to the kitchen. Managing to retrieve the bottle of apple juice from the fridge, he sits on the tiled floor and drinks a little bit at a time, trying to rehydrate. Each time he lifted the carton to sip, his hands shook and he was amazed he didn't spill the juice all over the place. Come to think of it, he was shaking all over. Odd. Only now does he realize too, that he's covered in sweat.
Squinting up at the window over the sink, he sees it's still gloomy outside, but apparently the storm had passed. He didn't hear the dogs whining... they were probably on the porch and probably hungry. He needed to feed them. Trying to stand up though, he gives up. They could survive until later. For now, he would take up residence right here on the floor. Apparently that's where his body wanted to be.
Leaning back against the counter, he closes his eyes. What happened after that would later only be a blur. All Justin would remember would be fighting off memories, frustrations, guilt and fears. He would remember feeling as though he were in a dream, facing his father, facing his brother and mother, and even Rebecca. He was failing. He was a failure. He was guilty...
...Nine o'clock at night. Justin lies on the living room floor in front of the couch, not knowing how he got there. The kitchen behind him displayed a war zone. The bottle of apple juice had splattered sticky liquid everywhere. There was broken glass all over the floor and blood from a cut on Justin's hand that he would not remember how he received. The answering machine blinks with several messages but he'd never heard the phone ring. By now, the dogs had given up barking as he'd never heard them either.
Slowly opening his eyes, he glances around the living room. Lifting his head to figure out where he is, he then just lets it rest on the carpet again, too exhausted to move. He was drenched in sweat and his eyes burned. Apparently he'd been crying, but couldn't remember. His head still pounded and his stomach still felt weak. He knew he'd blacked out again and wasn't sure now if he should call Brookshire to come put him in their loony bin, or call 911. He couldn't call Rebecca... he couldn't call his mother. Beth... what about Beth...
He ached all over and was burning up, so he was pretty sure now he'd been right in his deduction of being sick along with having a nice little breakdown. But without the energy to rise anyway, it was a pointless conclusion. Maybe if he would just lie here a little longer, he'd get his strength back. Just... a little longer...
His eyes fall shut again.
Danitza wanders the street and whines, looking left, then right before sniffing the air and turning around to go the other way. Her paws patter on the moist pavement and she jumps out of the way as she's almost hit by a car, its horn honking. It was dark and the headlights were blinding. It had taken her all day, but she'd made it to the right area. After sensing something was not right, and not being able to rouse Justin, she'd broken loose from her chain and collar and had taken off, leaving Zora to lie on the porch, protecting their silent master.
Up on the sidewalk again, Danitza stops once, turns, then aims down an alleyway. Once on the other side, she sniffs around some more and finally finds things that seemed familiar. She stops at a parked car smells the tires and the driver's side door, then follows her nose to one of the many doors.
Sniffing around the crack at the bottom of the door and up near the knob, she whines and scratches at the door. Cocking her head to listen, she barks then scratches again. She remembered this door. She knew it was Beth's. Beth was safe. Justin liked Beth. This was the right place to be. She barks again, whines, paces, scratches and barks again, waiting on the dark doorstep.
"Not good." Erik leans back on the hood. "I didn't want to push him so I didn't get a close look, but... I'd say it's the worst it's been."
"Like... need a hospital bad?"
"We'll need Karla to convince him to let us take him to the ER but I would feel better if we did, just to make sure he's okay. The cabin is a shambles... I think he got more than a couple punches to the face and... just speculation, but I doubt he's eaten in over a day."
Kyle shakes his head slowly, unable to believe a father who would do that to his own son... multiple times. At the same time, it was hard to believe how Kip fell for it every time as well. "I'll call Alice," he volunteers. "At least she can let the others know we found him."
Kip hears footsteps again but doesn't look up. Whoever it was, he'd just tell them to go away. He'd recover on his own and leave when he wanted to, not when Erik wanted. Feeling the bed shift, he still doesn't move. Not until he hears Karla's voice.
He hadn't expected her to be there, and his one eye cracks open, his head rising slightly. As she scoots back and slips an arm around his shoulders, he felt his wall of stubbornness start to crack. Her words made it crack even more. Maybe he'd expected a reprimand or at least a gentle chide, but neither were there - not even from Erik, come to think of it.
Hesitating a moment, Kip finally leans a little to the side, his head falling to rest on Karla's shoulder. It hurt to move though, and something like a whimper slips out, his arms tightening around himself. For the longest time, he says nothing but simply sits, knowing that someone who wouldn't judge him was right here.
Eventually though, as the minutes drag on, he knows that he can't stay here like this forever. Something had to give. He either had to make the first move or have Erik come back in and force him to.
Sliding back just a little and shifting to face Karla, his gaze remains glued to the bed, unwilling to look up at her. Slowly, he draws back his hood, revealing the damage to his lip and cheeks, along with both black eyes - his right one that was swollen shut. He knew he looked like he'd been in the boxing ring. He'd tried his best to clean himself up in the bathroom but there were hardly any first aid supplies to begin with, and hurting all over didn't help.
Moving his arms back around his legs, his sleeve rides up to expose his swollen and bruised right wrist, though his wince and sharp intake of air gives away that he was hurt somewhere else as well. "I can't... can't move very much," he slurs. "It... it hurts." His voice cracks as sa tear runs down his cheek, proving the pain was much worse than his physical injuries.
"We had a fight," he manages to explain. "Just like... like everyone else knew." He swallows hard again and shivers a little, still cold. "I tried to... stand up for myself." Another tear trickles down his face before falling to his knee where it soaks into his jeans. "It didn't work."
"I just... want to stay here," he mumbles, his eyes still lowered. "I don't wanna see anyone or talk to... to anyone."
Being brought closer to Chuck, Susanne's cheeks flush but she doesn't back away. His palm on her cheek was rough yet so soft - it seemed an impossible combination. She grins at his comment about payment for the next meal, her eyes twinkling with challenge as if saying, we shall see who wins this one.
A kiss wasn't what she'd expected so when she feels his lips brush against hers so gently, she tenses but doesn't pull back until after he'd retreated. Blinking, her eyes delve into his, searching once more for his intentions. But all she found was simple pleasure - nothing to be frightened of, even if her heart was racing, her pulse pounding.
"Thank you too, Chuck." Her voice was but a whisper and she clears her throat, regaining composure. She lets her hand slip from his and backs up a step, nodding. "Goodnight."
"Ma?" Justin enters the house, slipping off his shoes as the shopping bags rustle in his hands. He'd seen a strange car in the driveway and that always put him a little on edge. "Ma, you here?" He'd let himself in as usual.
"In the kitchen!" Lydia calls.
Heading that way, Justin enters only to stop dead in his tracks. Locking eyes with the other man in the kitchen, his gaze is one of shock. "Jared."
His brother smiles and waves. "Hey, little brother."
Not only was Justin younger, but he was shorter and less broad as well - "little" brother seemed to fit but always irked him anyway. He lets it roll off his back though, and continues his route to set the grocery bags on the counter. "What are you doing here?" He was miserable the way it was, and had hoped for a simple, quiet supper with his mother where he could break the news to her that he and Rebecca were over.
"Well, hi to you too." Jared laughs and folds his arms. "I'm visiting my mother. What are you doing?"
"My job." Justin throws him a warning glance. "Didn't recognize the car. New?"
"Yep. Had it for a couple months."
"Saw Utah license plates."
"Oh, I didn't tell you I moved?"
"Uh... no." Justin retrieves the milk and moves to the refrigerator to put it away.
Lydia seems oblivious to the tension and clasps her hands happily. "My two boys together, here at the same time. This calls for celebration." She immediately moves to the cupboard to see what she had to cook with.
"No, Ma..." Justin continues to put away the fresh groceries, knowing where everything went. "I shouldn't stay. I've got-"
"Nonsense!" Lydia pulls down some canned tomato juice. "Jared's only here for one night. Your dogs can wait."
"Yeah, and so can my mail, yard, phone..." Justin really was not in the mood for any of this. It was bad enough that he was still trying to deal with all of yesterday - now he had this to deal with, too. "I really should go."
Jared snickers. "Those two dogs are still your life, huh? Man, you need a girl."
Justin shoots him a look that could kill. "At least I don't go chasing after three or four at a time."
Jared's smile fades at the insult. Even if it was true that he tended to go after more than one girl at a time, his brother had no right to say that. "At least I have a life," he retorts.
"Justin, did you pick up the celery?" Lydia interrupts, clueless about the spat.
"Yeah." Justin lets the other subject drop and fishes the celery out of one of the bags to hand it to her. As he puts away the rest of the groceries, his ire intensifies. Jared was standing there doing absolutely nothing. He came for one night and everybody rejoiced. Justin was here almost every day, making sure his mother was taken care of, doing her grocery shopping and making sure she had rides wherever she needed to go. But that was normal. Nothing special. He knew all it was was stupid jealousy, and tries stamp it out before it got out of hand. His mother was glad to see her other son - that was natural and she deserved to be happy about it.
"Justin, you look so pale." Lydia reaches up to cradle his face, tucking aside a stray strand of hair. "Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine, Ma." He'd been feeling a bit lethargic today after waking up dizzy and hoped he wasn't coming down with something, though he'd figured it was just stress.
"...so I'm on my way to Louisiana for that conference." Between mouthfuls of supper, Jared explains him showing up.
Justin sips his water, having barely touched his own meal. "How come you didn't fly?"
Jared grins, waving his fork as he talks. "Why not enjoy the trip if the company's gonna pay for it?"
Justin shouldn't have been surprised. "Ah. A nice joy ride and vacation on company time. Smart."
"I thought so." Jared grins and takes a last bite of food before scraping the remaining bits off his plate. "Mmm have I missed your cooking, Mom."
Lydia beams. "You can have more if you stay longer," she bribes.
Jared laughs. "The offer is quite enticing. I did leave earlier than planned..." He pauses in thought. "I could stick around tomorrow, but I'd have to leave right after supper."
"Oh, could you?" Lydia's eyes light up. "Then Justin can come back and we can-"
"I'm gonna be busy, Ma," Justin interrupts. "I'm sorry."
Lydia lifts a skeptical eyebrow. "You didn't say so yesterday."
"Well, plans change. I got things going on, you know that."
"Still spend your time chatting with the nutcases?" Jared questions.
Justin stares at him in disbelief. That was low, even for Jared. Setting his napkin aside, Justin stands and goes to kiss his mother on her cheek. "I need to go. The meal was great."
Lydia shows her disappointment. "So soon? I have dessert."
"Save me some. Enjoy the rest of your evening and if you need anything, call."
"Oh, I'll be fine." Her smile returns. "I'll have Jared here for the night so you don't have to worry."
"Of course." A new knot had formed in Justin's stomach.
Jared stands as well. "I'll walk you out."
Justin was perfectly capable on his own, but he doesn't argue. Heading to the door, he finds his sneakers and sits down to put them on. Jared leans against the wall with his arms folded. "Since I'm staying an extra day, thought I might visit Dad's grave while I'm here."
Justin bristles but only grunts in response.
Jared persists. "Want to join me, or... do you still avoid the cemetery?"
Justin's blood begins to boil and he ties his shoes tighter than they need to be. "I won't be offended if you go without me," he manages tersely.
Jared chuckles. "Yeah, okay. Sorry I brought it up. Sometimes I forget. I guess if I was in your position I might be the same way."
"My... position?" Justin stands up to face his brother, suspicion on his face.
"Sure." Jared shrugs. "With what happened and all. I mean, I'd feel guilty, too."
"Guilty?"
"Well the only reason I can remember when Dad died is because of your birthday. If it was me who'd taken the blame, I wouldn't want to visit his grave either."
Justin had known there was some bitterness there on his brother's part, but he thought Jared would have grown up by now and moved on. The last few times they'd seen each other, this had not come up, which said perhaps Jared's bitterness was growing. No matter the reason, he'd struck a cord and Justin was livid. "You arrogant fool," he hisses. "Be glad I have self-control right now or you'd be on the floor."
"Whoa..." Jared holds up his hands. "Big talk from the little man. I didn't mean to insult you there - I was just stating the facts. Don't go killing anyone else now."
Anyone else? It was the last straw. "Maybe I don't have as much control as I thought," Justin admits quite calmly - calmly enough that even Jared isn't prepared for the fist flying in his direction. Neither man had ever struck the other - not even as kids. But tonight, blood flew as hard knuckles met soft flesh. Jared's mouth is squarely hit and hard enough that he's thrown off balance and stumbles to the floor.
"Justin!" Lydia had not been seen by either man. She stands in the hall, her face pale and shocked. Hurrying to Jared and kneeling down to press a dishtowel to his bleeding mouth, she looks up at her second son, stunned by his actions. So stunned that she can't even ask why he had done this.
Overcome with anger and guilt, Justin backs away. If he'd wanted to disappoint his mother and make Jared look like a saint, he'd done a very good job. No intelligible words seem to form, so a silent stare is the only communication. Turning around, he exits the house and goes to his truck to leave.
Lydia is trembling as she tries to help Jared even while her wide eyes had followed her other son outside. "Out of character" would be the ultimate understatement, and even she recognized that. Justin never lashed out... never. Swallowing hard, she finally turns her complete attention to Jared. "Are you alright? Do you need a doctor?"
"No, I... I don't think so." Jared blinks and sits up, feeling his lower lip that was still bleeding. His teeth felt like they'd been whacked with a hammer and fingering one tooth along his lower jaw, it falls out into his palm.
"Good heavens." Lydia takes his arm to help him stand up. "Come. Rinse with water. You will have to go to a dentist now."
Jared follows her dumbly to the kitchen where he rinses and spits in the sink, eventually using a cotton swab to try and stop the bleeding in his mouth. Sitting at the kitchen table and being doctored by his mother, he allows it, silently stewing.
"Why did he hit you?" Lydia finally asks as she washes the dishes from supper.
"I don't know. He just flew off the handle."
"Well what did you say to him?"
"Nothing." Jared shrugs lamely. "I said something about him not wanting to be with family and he just slugged me. I don't think he likes spending time over here."
Lydia scrubs a plate, her face furrowed with worry. "Because he didn't want to come tomorrow?"
"Well... that, and..."
Lydia turns. "And what?"
"I wasn't going to say anything." Jared hesitates. "But well... he said he was tired of running errands all the time, like shopping and stuff. That's when I said he apparently didn't see that it was the family's job to stick together and that he obviously didn't want to spend time with you or me. Then he hauled off and hit me. I'm sorry... I guess it's my fault for antagonizing him."
Lydia wipes her hands on a towel and slowly joins him at the table, sinking down in another chair. "He... he never complains." Her eyes were clouded with concern. "If I ever thought he was unhappy, I would find someone else to help me. I do not want to burden him."
Jared shrugs. "Maybe you can hire someone to do your shopping and even help with your cleaning and stuff."
"Oh, but the money..."
"I'd help," he offers. "It's the least I could do."
"I could never ask-"
"You didn't. I'm offering," he states flatly. "I'm the one that lives too far away to visit every day. If it wasn't for my job, you know I'd be right here, spending as much time with you as I could. So since I can't, let me do this for you. Let me help with someone to run your errands, and then Justin will be free as well."
There was more than concern in Lydia's eyes now. There was confusion... and hurt. "If only I'd known..."
"Now... you can't think of it that way. I'm sure Justin loves you the same. Maybe he just got tired over time and didn't want to say anything. But you can't worry about it now. It's over. We can even start tomorrow looking for someone to help you."
Once home, Justin parks his truck but remains behind the wheel for the longest time, just staring out into the darkness. It had been a long time since someone's words had stung as deeply as Jared's had tonight. Unfortunately, Justin's reaction had been just what his brother had wanted. He'd been stupid, that was for sure, and more than likely, he'd have to explain to his mother soon what had happened as well. He'd have to soften it a bit so she didn't think too badly of Jared. Justin hated him right now, but there was no point in hurting his mother by making her see that her eldest son was a jerk.
Finally getting out of his truck, Justin wanders to the house and pats the two dogs on the way, but is less than enthusiastic, despite their wagging tails. It's not too long after that he's lying on his couch, not having made it to his bedroom. He was exhausted and not tired at the same time, keeping his mind wide awake. Unfortunately, Jared's words had brought on a flood of memories - memories that Justin did not like to face. He could tell anyone about the past... he'd moved on and worked through the death of his father. But down deep there was still numbing pain that he was very good at covering up. And the worst part was that he wanted to call Rebecca and tell her what happened so she could comfort him... and he couldn't even do that now. He wanted to talk to someone... to tell someone how he felt so he could get some of this weight off his shoulders. Beth crosses his mind, but he again resists. She didn't need to be concerned with his problems. He hadn't talked to her yesterday or today, but that was probably a good thing anyway.
He tries to sleep and forget, but the pain and guilt press down on him. He would tell anyone that he no longer believed his childish thoughts that the accident had been his fault. But maybe Jared was right. All in all, if it hadn't been for Justin's planned trip with his father, the accident would have been avoided. So really... if anyone needed to be blamed...
Justin scrunches his eyes shut tightly and turns over to slam his head down into a couch throw pillow. Sleep. That's all he needed. These emotions were unjustified. Pointless. Illogical. He knew good and well that the accident had not been his fault. It hadn't... it just hadn't......right?
...A loud clap of thunder rattles the house and makes Justin jump, waking him from his sleep. It takes him a moment to focus and realize that he was still on the living room couch. It had not been a good night - one of the worst in years with tossing, turning and dreams he'd rather have forgotten.
Sitting up, still a little dazed, he sees that it's already eight o'clock and he had no idea when the storm had rolled in. Lethargic and exhausted, he goes to the kitchen to find some apple juice. His stomach didn't feel all that great, and he felt warmer than he should, but he tries to ignore it. Once he'd been able to clean up a little bit and become more alert, he picks up the phone, mustering up the nerve to call his mother. Last night had not gone well at all, but he still owed it to her to check and make sure things were fine. He was supposed to have gone to the butcher for her today and he wanted her to know he'd still do that - he just needed her list. And somehow... he'd manage to avoid Jared when he went to the house.
After several rings, his mother picks up. "Hey, Ma... it's me." He chews on the inside of his lip, remembering the look on her face last night when he'd slugged his brother.
"Justin?" She sounded surprised.
"Yeah. Um... listen, I'm sorry about last night and... I wondered if you still had that list for the butcher. I was supposed to pick up some meat for you today."
"Oh..." Lydia hesitates. "Well, um... it's okay. I mean, it's going to be taken care of. You... you don't have to do those errands anymore. You need a break."
Justin blinks and he suddenly regrets drinking that glass of juice. "But... if this has to do with last night, I'm sorry. I was totally out of line and I'm more than willing to talk to you about it later. I'm fine with running your errands, you know that."
Lydia furrows her brow and looks to Jared who was standing next to her, able to hear what Justin was saying. He shakes his head and whispers to her. "He's just trying to manipulate you. Stop letting him do that."
She frowns and speaks to Justin again. "No, no... I understand, and you need your own time. It's time you didn't have to worry about these things."
Justin was stunned. What was going on? He knew she was upset he'd hit Jared, but why was she acting like this? "I don't mind," he tries again. "How about I just come later tonight at least, and we can talk?"
Lydia looks to Jared again, about to say yes on the phone, but he shakes his head with a warning glance. He speaks quietly again. "Remember what we talked about this morning? What if he gets mad again? What if it's you he decides to swing at? I don't want you hurt. He needs to back off for a while. He shouldn't be coming here if he's going to hurt people."
She swallows hard, her eyes full of sorrow. "I... I'm sorry, Justin. But you..."
When she has trouble saying it, Jared prompts her with a nod and more verbal encouragement. "Your safety comes first," he whispers hoarsely. "You know he's dangerous." He points to his still-swollen lip. "I won't stand for him being here when he's got a temper like that."
A tear rolls down Lydia's face and her voice trembles as she speaks to her younger son again. "You shouldn't come," she states bravely.
Jared points to his lip again with emphasis and Lydia musters up the strength to continue. "I don't want you to come. Not... not when you are so angry and you hurt people."
Something close to panic sets in and Justin runs a hand through his hair as he desperately racks his brain. "It won't happen again. Look, I was mad at Jared and I'm sorry. I'll wait until he's gone so there's no chance of another conflict, okay?"
Jared frowns and shakes his head. "It'll be you next time," he warns his mother.
Lydia's lower lip quivers and she closes her eyes. "Justin... stay away. Please. Do not come."
The fear in his mother's voice cuts Justin like a knife. "You're afraid of me," he states, shocked by the evident truth. "Ma, you know that I would never hurt you." Silence. "Right? You know that."
Lydia looks to Jared as another tear follows the first down her face. Her eyes asked him what to do. Reaching out, Jared takes the phone and while they can both still hear Justin talking, he hangs up. Lydia chokes on another tear and leans against her son as he wraps his arms around her in a hug. Resting her face on his chest, she cries, mourning the necessary rejection.
"You did the right thing," Jared assures. "I'm proud of you."
"I lost my temper with Jared, but that had nothing to do with you. I would never-" Click.
Justin cuts off his words as he realizes that his mother had just hung up on him. Never in all his years and even some spats they'd had, had she hung up on him. He stares at the phone numbly, too shocked to know how to feel.
Hanging up, he lowers himself onto the couch, completely stunned. His mother was afraid of him. And she had told him not to come back. His mother was half his life. He complained about her needs sometimes... and sometimes he complained about her unintentionally smothering him or getting involved in areas she shouldn't. But he loved her to no end and never would he even remotely consider harming her in any way, shape or form. How could she think that?
Looking down at his sore hand, he rubs over the knuckles that had struck his brother. One move... one stupid move and his world had suddenly flipped. If only he had held his temper. If only he had not allowed Jared to get to him. None of this would have happened. His own mother was afraid of him. And he was appalled.
Without warning, Justin's stomach lurches, reacting to the mounting stress. Standing quickly, he aims for the bathroom, making it just in time to throw up. Instantaneously, a splitting headache forms, pounding against his skull. Sinking down to the floor, Justin tries to get a grip, but it all seems too much to handle. He'd failed with Scott and therefore was out of that job and income from Brookshire. Rebecca had broken up with him. His friends really weren't friends at all. The memories and guilt surrounding his father's death were back. The rift between himself an his brother had grown wider. And now his mother had pushed him away out of fear. It was a living nightmare.
Another spasm causes him to throw up again and his body starts to shake. Being stressed out was not something he often did, so he calmly deducts that since he was trying to deal with everything all at once, this was probably a minor breakdown and he really needed to just settle down and think himself through it. He was perfectly capable if he could just sort through the logic and go with the flow. It shouldn't be hard. He walked other people through their problems all the time. Convincing himself of the same things should be a piece of cake.
Throwing up a third time, he wonders if his stomach even has anything left. Unfortunately, it did, and after several more retaliations from his stomach, he still sits on the floor, exhausted. Sweat trickles down the side of his face and his head hurts so badly he thinks he might pass out.
Trying to stand with the aid of the bathroom counter, his knees prove to be too weak and he slides to the floor again. Rain pelts against the window and he can hear the dogs barking their complaints. A loud roll of thunder makes him cringe. With heart still pounding, he crawls out of the bathroom, aiming for the kitchen to get something to drink. He was alert, knowing full well what was going on, able to think through everything and know what he needed to do to take care of himself. But his body just wasn't cooperating. With all of his stress bottled up inside, it had only been a matter of time before it took its toll.
Halfway to the kitchen, Justin stops as the room grows dark and his dizziness increases. He tries to shake it off, knowing that his body wanted to pass out. Fighting it for all he was worth, he crawls a little farther, but it's no use. Leaning against the wall and slowly sliding down until he was lying on the carpet, everything goes black...
...The phone is ringing. Answer the phone. Where is the phone? It's ringing.
Justin's eyes open and he stares into the dimly lit living room from where he was still lying at the edge of the hallway. He comes to just in time to hear his answering machine pick up and a bill collector's voice warn him about his electricity payment before hanging up.
Justin's mouth felt like cotton and he swallows hard. Bringing his wrist around, he checks his watch. He'd been unconscious for several hours. That wasn't good. If only his body were as functional as his mind right now, he'd be fine. He vaguely remembers being around someone a couple days ago who had come down with the a severe case of the flu. Maybe that's what some of this was - most likely it was stress with a bug on top of it, making for a deadly combination.
Getting back on his hands and knees, he finally makes it to the kitchen. Managing to retrieve the bottle of apple juice from the fridge, he sits on the tiled floor and drinks a little bit at a time, trying to rehydrate. Each time he lifted the carton to sip, his hands shook and he was amazed he didn't spill the juice all over the place. Come to think of it, he was shaking all over. Odd. Only now does he realize too, that he's covered in sweat.
Squinting up at the window over the sink, he sees it's still gloomy outside, but apparently the storm had passed. He didn't hear the dogs whining... they were probably on the porch and probably hungry. He needed to feed them. Trying to stand up though, he gives up. They could survive until later. For now, he would take up residence right here on the floor. Apparently that's where his body wanted to be.
Leaning back against the counter, he closes his eyes. What happened after that would later only be a blur. All Justin would remember would be fighting off memories, frustrations, guilt and fears. He would remember feeling as though he were in a dream, facing his father, facing his brother and mother, and even Rebecca. He was failing. He was a failure. He was guilty...
...Nine o'clock at night. Justin lies on the living room floor in front of the couch, not knowing how he got there. The kitchen behind him displayed a war zone. The bottle of apple juice had splattered sticky liquid everywhere. There was broken glass all over the floor and blood from a cut on Justin's hand that he would not remember how he received. The answering machine blinks with several messages but he'd never heard the phone ring. By now, the dogs had given up barking as he'd never heard them either.
Slowly opening his eyes, he glances around the living room. Lifting his head to figure out where he is, he then just lets it rest on the carpet again, too exhausted to move. He was drenched in sweat and his eyes burned. Apparently he'd been crying, but couldn't remember. His head still pounded and his stomach still felt weak. He knew he'd blacked out again and wasn't sure now if he should call Brookshire to come put him in their loony bin, or call 911. He couldn't call Rebecca... he couldn't call his mother. Beth... what about Beth...
He ached all over and was burning up, so he was pretty sure now he'd been right in his deduction of being sick along with having a nice little breakdown. But without the energy to rise anyway, it was a pointless conclusion. Maybe if he would just lie here a little longer, he'd get his strength back. Just... a little longer...
His eyes fall shut again.
Danitza wanders the street and whines, looking left, then right before sniffing the air and turning around to go the other way. Her paws patter on the moist pavement and she jumps out of the way as she's almost hit by a car, its horn honking. It was dark and the headlights were blinding. It had taken her all day, but she'd made it to the right area. After sensing something was not right, and not being able to rouse Justin, she'd broken loose from her chain and collar and had taken off, leaving Zora to lie on the porch, protecting their silent master.
Up on the sidewalk again, Danitza stops once, turns, then aims down an alleyway. Once on the other side, she sniffs around some more and finally finds things that seemed familiar. She stops at a parked car smells the tires and the driver's side door, then follows her nose to one of the many doors.
Sniffing around the crack at the bottom of the door and up near the knob, she whines and scratches at the door. Cocking her head to listen, she barks then scratches again. She remembered this door. She knew it was Beth's. Beth was safe. Justin liked Beth. This was the right place to be. She barks again, whines, paces, scratches and barks again, waiting on the dark doorstep.
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