9/3/12

Idiot

Katie saying she wouldn't hate him did bring Carson some small amount of comfort that perhaps there was one person who wouldn't loath his guts. He'd always considered Katie one of his close friends... maybe he did have one friend left after all. 

"Okay... let me start a pizza for ya then." He didn't have to ask what kind. Katie had been gone for a little while, but he still knew what her favorites were. And right about now, he felt badly for her, having to process all of this new information. To her, it was sure to all seem quite sudden. To give her a favorite meal was the least he could do.

Turning to the pop machine, he fills a glass with what he knew she liked to drink, and slides it to her on the counter. He's just about to return to the kitchen when her question stops him. Looking over his shoulder at her, his eyes continued to hold their dim gaze. "No... I don't mind you asking. You'll hear it from somebody else anyway." 

Sighing again, he turns back around, giving her a lame shrug. "Jaz has been in town for months now. I started seeing her behind Misty's back and... had an affair." 

He purses his lips grimly and nods. "So... I finally realized I couldn't have the best of both worlds and... I chose Jaz. Of course, I was promptly served with divorce papers - oh, after which I'd been told I'd never see the baby." His eyes drop and he turns his back on Katie to walk into the kitchen, talking over his shoulder. "Can't blame Misty I guess though. I deserved that one for walking out on her."

Starting to grab the ingredients for Katie's pizza, he keeps his back to the window. "And that's that," he calls back into the other room. "As far as how her and Jason ended up together... I guess you'd have to ask them."


Justin starts to snicker at Beth's choice of words, but he stops himself, knowing what she meant, and not wanting to embarrass her. 

"I'd love to do dinner tomorrow," he agrees. "I've got quite a bit to do, but I should be free by... six? What do you want to do?" 


Even Chad's light kisses sent tingles down Rosalyn's spine and she smiles up at him, really wishing they didn't have to part. She'd known that they would and that this was it, but it felt a little harder than she imagined it might. Why it was difficult to say goodbye to a mere stranger, she would never know. Was there more here than just physical attraction, liking to hug and kiss, and flirt? Surely it was impossible in such a short amount of time. No matter... she was sorry to see Chad go.

Hearing the horn, her shoulders drop a little. He really did have to leave now.

Hardly knowing how to even respond to Chad's kind words, Rosalyn just holds his hand until he's too far away, and she's left with a small piece of paper in her palm. Glancing down then back up again, she simply watches him leave, giving a little wave before he turns around. It wasn't until he was out of sight and she heard the van leave that she returns to her spot in the garden.

Kneeling in the dirt, she unfolds the paper and reads his note. The sweet words were so very tender and they touch her soul just like his soft voice had. His words of encouragement to her young heart bring a strange ache, and as his closing words blur, she realizes she has tears in her eyes.

Quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she folds up the note and tucks it in her pocket. This was the last of Chad Mason... and she would cherish it...

"Rosalyn?"

It had been half an hour, but she was still busy at work in the garden. It didn't seem like that much time had passed though... not when her mind had wandered so. Turning as she knelt by the tomatoes, she squints in the sun to see her father. "Oh hey, Dad. What's up?"

"You got a minute?"

"For you? Always."

Jim chuckles and comes nearer, tipping his hat back on his head as he squats down beside her and fingers a green tomato. "How ya doing?"

Rosalyn lifts her eyebrows, wondering why he was asking such a question. "I'm... fine. How are you doing?"

He smiles. "I'm fine. I was just, um... checking. After that group from Nevada left was all."

Rosalyn can feel some heat coming to her cheeks and she looks quickly back to the tomato plant, searching for the ripe one she'd seen only moments before. "Why should that matter?"

"Because you and Chad had gotten close?"

Rosalyn swallows hard. She didn't know whether to be angry or embarrassed, but she felt both. "Clint talk to you, I suppose?"

"No, why?"

She bites her tongue. "Nothing. So I got to know Chad. I get to know a lot of people." She plucks the tomato, only to find out she'd felt the wrong one and it was green. Smirking, she tries again.

"Yes... yes, you do." Jim studies his daughter closely. "But you don't hug and kiss a lot of people."

Rosalyn blinks and finally returns her father's gaze. "I guess I liked Chad a bit."

"Mm-hmm. I noticed. When you said goodbye... that wasn't your first kiss with him, was it?"

Rosalyn didn't know if he was just observing or accusing, but she finds herself looking away again. "Maybe not. But what does this -"

"Since when do you involve yourself romantically with our guests?"

Though his tone was quiet, Rosalyn still felt a sting. "I... it just... well... he..."

"Did he seduce you?"

"No!" Rosalyn throws him a glare. "Of course not."

Jim sighs and rocks back on his heels. "Look, I'm sure there was something about Chad that you fancied and it was easy for you to be attracted to him. But as your father, I just feel it's my duty to tell you that I'm a little disappointed."

Rosalyn looks down at her hands. "Disappointed in what?"

"In you diving into a physical relationship within hours of meeting someone."

"Physical?! We didn't-"

"I mean hugging and kissing and whatever else you did. I'm not accusing you of sleeping with the man." Jim shakes his head. "I would hope you wouldn't go that far no matter how well you knew him."

Rosalyn's cheeks were crimson as he picks at the dirt under her fingernails. "Of course I didn't."

"I just meant the things I saw. It's not like you to go after a man, or let him go after you, especially when you know nothing about him." Jim pauses, waiting for a response, but none comes. "Did you know he's thirty-six years old? Or that he has a history of drinking? Or that he's been married and divorced? He's hardly the type of man you should be looking for, no matter how handsome you think he is."

Rosalyn nods numbly. She had guessed Chad would be in his thirties, but hadn't been positive. And she knew about his marriage and divorce and even that he'd been a drinker at the time. And she also had seen those things as red flags. But she'd gone ahead with her feelings anyway. Chad had made her feel... desirable. Worth it. Like a woman. But she couldn't tell those things to her father - he wouldn't understand. And... on some level... maybe he was right. Maybe this whole thing really had been foolish of her. And yet... "He might have a history, but that doesn't mean that's who he is today," she answers quietly.

"No... no, I know that. But it doesn't always mean that either. And sometimes we just need to avoid things like that, knowing that those things cause baggage and it can create strains within a relationship. You know all that, Rosalyn... You've got a good head on your shoulders. I guess that's why I was surprised and disappointed."

She nods again, keeping her eyes down.

Jim reaches out and gives her shoulder a loving squeeze. "One of these days, Mr. Right will walk into your life and it'll all fall into place. But be patient... don't rush headlong into things. True love will wait." He cocks his head down low, trying to see her face. "So I don't need to tell you not to do this again, right?"

She shakes her head.

"Good. Now don't worry - I'm not mad at you. Though I'm just as glad Chad is gone now so you can move past this little forty-eight our romance." He stands up again, his shadow falling over her. "I love you, Rosalyn."

She finally looks up at him again and forces a smile. "I love you too, Dad."

"I'll see you later at supper."

"Okay." She watches him leave, and when she's alone again, she can feel a tear trickling down her cheek. She was so embarrassed. Even though her father hadn't yelled at her, he might as well have. It hurt just as much. He'd said everything but "I think you were stupid" and she knew it. It wasn't just her behavior he disapproved of - he disapproved of Chad in general. And that hurt and made her feel all the more like an idiot.

Reaching into her pocket, she pulls out the note and reads it once more. Idiot or not, Chad's words meant the world to her and she would still cherish them.


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