Anger

David flops down on his bed and ignores his ringing cell phone. Only after he'd heard a voicemail left does he groan and finally listen to it. Flipping his phone shut again he tosses it onto the bedside table and flops his head back into his pillow. He didn't even bother undressing. He'd make a call in the morning. It was late, and he was in no mood to deal with Mr. Hans. The morning... yes... things would look different then. Mr. Hans and Gunner's case...

"Yeah, Marge, it's me." David rubs his face wearily, his headache still pounding in his head. It was early morning, but he had to be up so he could get back to TJY and meet with Angelica again. "I got your message last night. Thanks. My phone's acting up and I can't get to all my contacts so I need Mr. Hans' number to call him back. can you get it for me?"


"When we let ourselves become so emotional, we're only letting them win," Dr. Hawks reminds gently.

"I don't care." Scott slouches in his chair, his arms folded stubbornly. "I hate them."

"It's natural," Dr. Hawks agrees. "But you have to let it go, Scott. It's eating you alive and that's exactly what they'd like to see."

"I don't care."

"Why?"

"Because for what they did to me, they deserve to be hated. Every last one of them. They should get exactly what they did to me." The bitterness in Scott's voice was cold and harsh. "Look, I spent months afraid and hiding in a corner, scared of my own shadow because of them. Now I finally realize how stupid that was. They shouldn't be feared. They should be stamped out and and run through a garbage disposal."

Dr. Hawks raises an eyebrow. "What about those who have changed? Some of your friends used to work for the Agency, right?"

Scott shrugs. "They were still involved in what went on there and there are some things I just can't forgive."

"Then you're giving up on your own heart. Being unforgiving will only prove to make you more bitter every day."

"Look at what they did to me!" Scott gets to his feet and points to the file that sat on Dr. Hawks' desk. "Don't think I don't know that all the information about me is in there. I know how this works. Look at what they did!" The horror made his stomach church again. "Do you know what it's like to be stuffed in a dingy cell with rats as your company? Do you know what it's like to be so disgusted with what you see and feel that all you can do is retch on the floor and sit in your own stench until it doesn't even bother you anymore? How about watching a young woman abused and taken advantage of right in front of your eyes? Or being beaten to a pulp when you refuse to do the same to her?" Tears sting his eyes, his fists balled tightly. "And then watch her die? Yeah... yeah, you really understand what I'm going through."

He shakes his head, his eyes narrowing. "Then try being betrayed by those you trust the most and thrown into a hospital where they want you to get 'better' when all you need is a change of scenery."

Dr. Hawks remains calm. "I know you're angry, Scott. I can't ever imagine what it was like and I can't relate. But I understand the feeling of anger and the feeling of betrayal. And I know that if you hang onto it like you're doing, you're not going to live very long. Because it's more than just being mad. You haven't taken care of yourself, you're not eating and you're sick. And worst of all, you don't care." He shakes his head slowly. "And I know that you're not happy with that and there's a part of you that wants to feel better."

"You don't know anything," Scott hisses. Taking control of his own time, he spins on his heel and stalks from the office, letting the door slam shut behind him. Stuffing his hands into his hoodie pockets, he keeps his shoulders slouched and his head down, aiming back for his room.

Left alone, Dr. Hawks sighs. Scott would shout at him, but he always walked away before he really let his emotions show through. He would tell bits and pieces but would always stop before really getting down to the nitty gritty. And he liked being angry because it kept him from being scared... kept him feeling in control. And from what Dr. Hawks could tell, Scott wanted to feel better, but at the same time, he'd rather be miserable so he had a reason to hide. What would help?