Next time

Letting out a small sigh and watching Carson get into his car and drive away Katie just stands there for a long moment. Her heart really did go out to him and it made the problems he'd had, or the issues with becoming friends with Jason again just didn't matter compared to what Carson was going through. She just hoped he'd be ok and really he wouldn't do anything he'd regret. 

Giving a shake of her head and a sigh Katie turns around and heads back inside. Getting to the main floor and going back to her cubicle to finish out her day. Things would work out like they always did or Katie could only hope. 

Misty wasn't sure how long she'd been sleeping but when she'd woke up she didn't feel any better now than she had before. She felt stressed, and he head was pounding so hard. So she'd deiced to call it a day and just head home to relax and try to distress a little bit. Letting Rick know she was leaving early and would finish her work tomorrow, she let Jason know too. Reassuring him she was ok but just needed to go home. They promised to see each other later tonight.

Getting to the house and seeing the note Misty raises and eyebrow before taking note to the hand writing. She could tell Carson's hand writing anywhere. She could never explain to someone why it was just..like a finger print and she new it was his. Giving a sigh she takes the note from the door and walks inside.

Looking around and not seeing Alec he was probley out, or in the shed cleaning it out some more. Soon it would be finished and it would be his own apartment. She was happy for him, that it gave him something to fill his time with. On top of that she was happy he wasn't around right now. She looked and felt like a mess not really the way she'd want him to see her.

Making some tea for herself and sitting at the kitchen table Misty just looks at the letter for a long moment. Did she really want to read it? Was what he had to say really that important? She could start reading it, and if it was something she didn't want to anymore she could just stop and throw it out. Why she though she owed Carson at least that she didn't know.

As Misty eye's scan the letter a new anger, hurt, a new pain hits her heart. If was Carson said was true she felt bad for him, how much pain he must have been in and how tortured it must have been but at the same time he lied to her. He lied, deserted, deseved and lacked trust in being able to do it together. Was one worse than the other, or where they the same, and offered the same amount of punishment.  How could Misty forgive Carson still? He wanted to start over...like nothing happened? With a new trust? How many second try did he want? If he hadn't learned trust now...would he ever?

   Carson,
       If what you said was true than we have a new problem, you lied, you failed to trust, and you make it look like you were being unfaithful. Is that any better than really doing it? I would have to say the answer is no. You made me look like a fool, humiliated me, and you caused me a great deal of pain because you didn't trust me, your friend or the people who could help. How do you expect me to believe you're innocent when there is no trust?

    There is no starting over, building a trust because its something we have faced before. If you haven't learned to trust the good guys now, how do I know you ever will? Forgive you...maybe in time but right now no, go back to how we use to be...thats not possible.  My new journey has started, and I am learning to love and live again without looking over my shoulder, and wondering what's going to happen next.

   If you need to contact me again than let it be with the papers that still need to be signed because that is the only time right now I see myself talking to you, seeing, or interacting with you.

           Misty M.

Misty tears stain the paper but she new she had to send it anyways. Carson needed to understand and not try to keep contacting her. She still didn't want anything to do with him, she still was angry with him and this was not something that could be swept under the carpet.

Placing her note into an envelope and heading back to TJY Misty moves quietly across the floor. She didn't know if Carson was there or not but she didn't want anyone to notice. Getting to Susanne's desk she hands the note to her with Carson's name on the front. She would know to give it to him. Leaving again Misty heads back home. Now she would relax or at least try.