Not the kind of reason

Listening as he drives, Jason sighs.

I want to help her. I try to just be myself but I don't know if myself can cut it.

Jason's mind takes him back to a time that he now didn't like. At the time, he'd thought he was perfectly content. But now he'd come so far that remembering back then was just a little painful. But he pulls up the emotions anyway.

"You know... I hate that feeling. I... have felt that way, Destiny, believe it or not. There was a time I thought I could do everything on my own. I had so much pain built up inside me that I didn't want to have anything to do with anyone else. And at the same time, I... was terribly lonely."

Still thinking as he drives, Jason decides to avoid some traffic, so it would take a few extra minutes to make it to the mall. "You probably don't know that when I was just a little kid, I... was abducted and... held and... abused for about a year." He takes a right at a stop sign. "Didn't think it affected me... didn't want to believe it had. When I got older though, I started to realize that in order to survive, I needed someone to help me. Not... help me like be my therapist but just... someone to be my friend... someone I could talk to and lean on without worrying about what they thought of me. Without worrying about whether or not I was being weak."

Forced to stop at a line behind a red light, Jason steals a glance at Destiny. "Problem is... when finding someone like that, it just hurts all the more because we're forced to think about what's really hurting us. So our reaction is to pull away, and it starts this back and forth tug-o-war that leaves us exhausted until one day... we realize that surrounding ourselves with loneliness is what's hurting us the most."

Pausing, he taps his fingers on the steering wheel, making sure that his emotional stream didn't include audio... if asked later, he wanted to tell the truth that this had been a private conversation. "I'm not upset that you want to be alone, Destiny. I understand that feeling. I'm just upset that you'll let that control you and eventually, hurt you more."

The light turns green and they move again, still headed for the mall. "If you stay in the safe house for a while longer, I'll be there. If you stay and you want changes made, I'll help make it happen so you're the most comfortable. If you want to move back to your own apartment again, I can help set something up so you're still protected for a while. And if you want to move back to your own apartment with no Elite presence, then... there's nothing I can do about it."

The mall was coming up and Jason glances to Destiny once more. "I'm not just trying to keep you safe from physical harm. I care... and I want you to be okay inside, too. But you're the only one who can decide whether or not you want that."

Just a couple more turns and Justin pulls the truck into the mall parking lot and finds a space a ways from the front entrance. Shutting off the engine, he shifts in his seat a little to see Destiny more clearly. His voice becomes softer. "Just be patient with yourself... don't rush to be alone. I know you're stronger than that."


Axel grins as Jess hugs him from behind, and he just watches her as she leans against the counter and looks at him. His eyes lock with hers in a stare so mellow... so cryptic... so full of care.

The beeping microwave interrupts the silent exchange and the evening moves on with popcorn and a movie. Settling in on the couch, the movie plays and the mood is lightened by the comedy.

Two hours later though, the movie was done, but the living room was silent. Axel was stretched out with Jess half on top, half beside him, their legs a tangled mess, one of Axel's arms around her, the other hanging off the couch. He was sound asleep, his chest slowly rising and lowering with each breath, his heart thumping softly under Jess' head.


Quinn laughs at Anastasia's humor, both before leaving the cafe and when they've arrived at the Coffee Bean. She had a wit that matched the sparkle in her eye.

Following her inside and ordering just a cup of black coffee, he joins her at the table, getting comfortable as well. "I have to agree that a good cup of coffee is good for just about any occasion. And... by the way..." He glances at her hands, then back up again. "You don't have blood under your fingernails either. I kinda doubt you would have axed me."

Grinning, he takes a sip of his drink and lets the hot liquid just slide slowly down his throat. Leaning back, he eyes the shop. Five ceiling fans... four paintings on the wall... only one other customer... the lights were nice... the list of today's coffee and sandwich specials looked good. And across from him... His gaze returns to Anastasia... Was a very kind, insightful young woman who had a peace about her that seemed to beckon one's innermost feelings.

Quinn shakes his head and looks down into the almost-black liquid. "Ya know... what you said back there at the other place... about a reason for me finding myself here... It, um..." He pauses, rerouting his train of thought. "You ever been afraid of the reasons for something? Like you knew what the reason was, but it wasn't what you wanted to happen?"

He searches her eyes, knowing now that it was too late to back out. He owed her at least as brief explanation. Besides, she'd been kind to him, showed him around, took time out of her evening to talk with him... he might as well make it worthwhile. "I have a brother," he finally admits. "I haven't see him in about seven years. He was um..." There was no pretty way to put it. "He was sent to prison for raping a girl." Would Anastasia's opinion of Quinn change now? "I haven't seen him since then - thought he was still behind bars. But... I found out today that he's been out and he lives around here."

Quinn takes another sip of coffee, not really even sure why he was sharing any of this with her. But maybe he really did need to just get it off his chest. "I had no idea he was here so I was pretty shocked. Wound up giving my number to someone who will give it to him, should he want to call me but..." He shrugs. "I don't even think I want to see him, so I'm kinda hoping he doesn't call. That's... about the only reason I'm sticking around here for a day or two... because I said I would."

Staring into Anastasia's eyes, he wonders just what type of woman she really was. "It's not the kind of reason I really want to be here. I'd rather the reason be simply that I added to my collection of records. But... my gut tells me otherwise."