Looking up and seeing Justin come in Beth almost gives a smile but stops. She hadn't though he wouldn't show but it was nice to just confirm to herself that he did care enough to come. Waiting for him to come over Beth gives another sip to her coffee.
Once Justin has made his way over and sitting down Beth gives a little smile. Shaking her head a little bit she understood what Justin was saying though tonight had been the first time in a while she felt like this.
"This is the first time in a long while I have felt like this. I saw a group of people today after work and I'm not sure why but it just hit me how lonely I really was."
Drawing quiet for a moment there was more on Beth's mind that she wanted to say but she wasn't sure where to start. It was hard to think about it, let along talk about it. Justin was her friend though and if she told him maybe it would help him understand her a little more.
"I was twelve and Sarah was ten when our parents died. I was out at a friends house, and Sarah stayed home because I didn't want her to come along for once. My dad came home drunk and...ranted about something or other so they tell my anyways. I guess the people next door heard the fight."
Beth takes in a deep breath the pain was clear in her eyes that it was hard talking about this, but she continued anyways still looking into the blackness of her coffee.
"My...mom had Sarah go hide, and the fight continued. My father got really angry and ended up shooting my mother killing her. Than he went looking for Sarah and if he had found her he probably would of killed her too. Sitting down on the bed Sarah was hiding under he ended up shooting himself. Sarah saw everything and since that night she hasn't spoken a word. Not to me, not to anyone. I know she's listing though you can see it in her eyes. She just...locked herself away so tight. I know it's not my fault, and if I had been there it wouldn't have changed anything but...It's just one of those things I guess. Since than trusting people has not been my strong part, and keeping my walls up was easier than being hurt."
She new that she had locked herself away too. Not like her sister had, but in her own way and area she had.
"Since than though so many years ago I haven't felt so alone, till tonight and....your...you the only friend I have so...I called you. Even if we don't talk it...its just nice to know...your there."
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