Sometimes...

Sitting down with Scott Hope takes a sip of her tea. It was late, and she new tomorrow would be an early day for her, so drinking coffee at this time was probley not the best thing. So tea was a second choice but tasted just as good.

Studying Scott for a long moment Hope is quiet. So many things she wanted to say but the option at the moment of saying nothing seemed right. She'd wondered how Scott was but asking that seemed so silly to her and yet so big at the same time. Maybe it was more of just soaking up the moment that kept her quiet since Scott had not actually talked, or spent time with her at all.

Finally hearing Scott speak a small smile spreads across hopes lips. Giving a small nod as she takes a sip of her tea before replying.

   "Well we haven't talked in a while, and most of the time that starts the conversation for how are you. So you don't have to ask, I'll just start."

Hope smiles again. She was trying to make this a little less awkward but felt as though she was failing.

   "I'm doing pretty good. Some days are better than others but I can't complain. I am doing a lot better than I was so thats a good thing. Most of my days are spent with, work, work and oh ya more work, and every now an than a cup of tea or coffee with a friend."

Ashlee stops for a second before helping Dylan with another bale of hay deep in thought for a second. Dylan did make a good point, and it probley had nothing to with her her mom, and herself but still there was a linger doubt, or wonder. Would it always be this hard? When he would leave again, but it always seem as tough and confusing?

   "Yeah, I know your right. I guess there is just that linger feeling in my head. I mean my dad left a long time ago, so I guess I just think one day Eric will too."

Giving her head a little shake Ashlee goes back to work.  She as she got older those kinds of things, like questions about her father bothered her more and more but she didn't like talking about them, or thinking about them, and the last thing she wanted to do was ask her mom about them.

   "Sure, I'd like to ride with you. I'll do anything to stop my brain from running away with itself."

Getting up for a drink of water Bree checked the living room to see if Gunner was still sleeping. Not seeing him on the couch she wondered where he could of gone. Seeing the back door was open a little bit Bree pads across the tile floor. Stopping at the screen door for a second she just watches Gunner before finally opening the door and walking down next to him. Sliding her hand into his she says nothing but looks up at him with a small smile. Maybe quiet was not a bad thing sometimes, and maybe the silence could speak louder than any words.

  

How are you?

Scott grinned and followed Hope out of her office, glad she'd said yes. Not that he'd thought she wouldn't, but at least he knew for sure now that she wasn't holding a grudge for how he'd pushed her away before. "Okay, well... yeah, I'll follow you there." 

Oblivious to anything other than happiness, Domino trotted along behind both of them before obediently veering off to go with Scott to his car. She wouldn't mind being left in the car for a while in the Coffee Bean parking lot...as long as she had at least one toy and one bone to chew on. 

Sitting across from Hope, Scott cradled the coffee up between his hands, just enjoying the warmth. After losing so much weight, it seemed he was cold more frequently, and he'd learned to appreciate hot things like coffee. His good eye focused on the dark, steaming liquid, while his mind tried not to be nervous. For one thing, it was after dark, and for another, being with Hope felt more awkward than it should. 

A small smile creased his lips before he finally looked up at her. "Now that I invited you here, I'm afraid small talk has eluded me. 'How are you' seems rather trite, but I'm not sure what else to say."


Dylan lets Ashlee fall into step beside him, just letting her talk as they stacked the hay bales. He couldn't help it that his eyebrows lifted slightly. He knew she liked Eric - that had been obvious to him since the beginning. What he didn't know was just how much she did like him and wanted him to be around. It wasn't the most foreign thing to him, but through his own experiences with his father, he'd settled on being a loner and couldn't really relate to Ashlee's feelings. That didn't mean he didn't care though. 

"Sorry..." He hefted another bale up on top of the stack. "Can't say that I can relate, but I know Eric pretty well, and I'm sure him being gone's got nothing to do with you. Or your mom, for that matter." 

He paused to wipe some sweat from his brow. "Apart from him wanting to be able to support a family. Doesn't make it any less sucky though." He shrugged. "I gotta exercise a couple horses when I'm done here - wanna ride with me? Might make you feel better." 


Bree's words hit Gunner's heart in such a way that tears pooled in his eyes before he looked away. He said nothing, but just pulled her a little closer and kissed the top of her head. To be safe from his nightmare...that's all he wanted...

...It wasn't until several hours later that his mind wandered to places he didn't want it to. Bree had long since gone to bed, and so had he, but another bad dream had woken him. At first, he'd headed to the kitchen to get a drink, then tried to go back to bed, got up to use the bathroom, went back to bed, then got up again. It was pointless. He was so tired, but his mind was refusing to shut down. 

After throwing on his jeans and a t-shirt, he wandered out into the back yard, letting the prickly grass surround his bare feet. Tucking his hands in his pockets, he stood and stared up at the bright moon. It was a cloudless night, perfect for stargazing. Yet he didn't even want to use his telescope tonight. Even his passion for that had seemed to dwindle. 

Silly...I Know

Seeing a small grin slip across Scott's lips Hope couldn't help the smile of her own that grew a little bit and the small little bit of hope in her heart. It had been a long time since she had see Scott smile, or grin and really mean it. Something about this one though Hope could see a little glimmer, one that some might have thought was all but lost. But it was there still, and this time she had confirmation. Even if it was just that, at least it was something for her to hold on too.

As Scott turns to leave Hope just watches him. She wanted to see if maybe he'd like to get something to eat, but he'd made it loud and clear to her before that there was no them, or anything anymore so many it wasn't a good idea. Even if everything in her body was screaming at her to say something.

When Scott stops, and turns a little Hope perks up slightly. Hearing his comment about Mountain dew, and than about getting coffee. She can't help her heart starting to race just a bit more over the whole thing. She didn't want to get to excited who new the outcome, but it was better than nothing at this poing.

   "Work all night??? Me??? NEVER!"

Hope can't help the silly smile as she closes the one draw on her desk and strands grabbing her jacket. Coming up behind Scott she gives him a small shove on the shoulder. 

   "I guess I have been working to much, and coffee sounds pretty good right about now."

Not realizing anyone else was in the barn Ashlee stops with a little jump before looking up at Dylan. Why she thought no one would be here at this time of day was not clear to her. Than again she wasn't really thinking right now. 

   "I guess so. Stupid reason to be upset anyways I guess."

Rerouting herself a little bit Ashlee throws on some gloves, and comes around to where Dylan was to help him. She could sulk alone, or try and help to get her mind off things. Either way she hoped not to many questions were asked.  She wasn't even sure how she was feeling to try and put it into words.

   "Just upset Eric will be on the road a little longer. He has to make a living but...I dont know. Guess I just missing having him around and seeing my mom smile. Silly...I know but...I guess growing up without a dad, and than having someone there and gone again bothered me more than I thought it would."

Leaning on Gunner Bree did notice how little Gunner eat even if he didn't want her to notice. She always took not to that stuff. Specially when it was harder to tell if she was paying attahcen. She wouldn't say anything at the moment though. He'd had a little to eat, and a little was better than nothing in her mind so that was good. 

Continuing to watch the movie Bree gives a little jump as Gunner's body gives a jolt. Moving around a little bit to look at him a little better she gives him a small smile reaching up and brushing his face a little.

   "You're safe to fall asleep here, I promise not to let anything bad happy to you."

Tempted

Scott pried his gaze off the floor and forced himself to focus on Hope's face, if for no other reason that to not be rude. As he did though, he saw that stray strand of hair she always tried to push out of the way...those cheeks, glowing with life reborn after being so sick...those lips set in such a way that they implied great strength and determination, yet also a softness capable of great love...her eyes so deep, so very deep,  speaking words only a soul could understand, and revealing a heart as pure as a cool summer rain. It was as if all those things had somehow been forgotten...forgotten behind a veil of fear. And tonight, he could suddenly see again...Hope. For who she was - always had been - on the inside.

It was a blink that snapped Scott out of his stare, and he really wasn't sure how long he'd been silent. He shook his head, trying to remember what she'd just asked him. "No...I mean yeah...yeah, everything's ok." He gave Hope a wry sort of grin. "And yes, I know what time it is." He knew good and well that she would have already taken note to the late hour and that he was still there. He knew that, despite his efforts, she had not let him go, and he knew that she still paid attention to the little things and watched him, even if he kept her at arm's length. It was true that he would never understand how or why she didn't give up on him, even when he had.

A strange sort of twinge occurred in Scott's soul, and his shoulders dropped slightly. He looked down at Domino, who was now happily sniffing around Hope's office, oblivious to the fact that she shouldn't have been in here at all. "Hey..." She looked up quickly at Scott's soft reprimand and wagged her stumpy tail as if trying to look cute enough not to be punished.

Scott just shook his head. "Come on, you. Let's leave Hope alone." It wasn't until after he'd turned and was almost back into the hall though, when he stopped and glanced over his shoulder at Hope one more time. "Ya know...if I go home, I'm gonna be tempted to drink my last can of Mountain Dew, and it'll just make me sick this time of night.  I could handle a cup of coffee and some company at the Coffee Bean though...that is, unless you're planning on working here all night."


"Hey, when you're done there, you wanna let the yearlings out into the back pasture?" 

Dylan glanced up from where he was stacking hay in the barn and nodded at Sparky. "Yeah...sure."

"Alright. And hey...you're invited for supper with me and Faith tonight if you want." 

Dylan paused his work for a moment as a trace of a smile passed over his lips. Evenings spent at his uncle's were always enjoyable, and usually happened about once a week now. "Sounds good to me."

"Good." Sparky grinned and turned towards the barn office.

Sighing, Dylan turned back to the hay bales, but movement caught the corner of his eye. Seeing Ashlee and her slouched shoulders, along with the look on her face, he felt himself tense just a little. "Hey..." He tossed up one last bale to the top of the stack before studying Ashlee for a moment. "You alright?" 


Settling in on the loveseat next to Bree, Gunner did his best to relax. He smiled and shook his head. "It's alright...you've drooled on me before." 

 He munched on a mozzarella stick and sat back to watch the movie, slinging one arm around Bree. Concentrating on the movie took all he had, while wrestling with so many inner thoughts that they formed a writhing mess in his mind. He ate slowly in the hopes that Bree wouldn't notice how little he'd actually eaten, and tried not to spoil her evening. It wasn't fair to her...that he be like this. That she have to take care of him and watch him so he didn't do anything stupid. This whole thing wasn't fair to any of them. But that was the trouble...life wasn't fair. It never was. It never would be. 

Gunner's muscles lurched, bringing him out of a state of almost-sleep as he'd started to doze off. He rubbed his eyes and slid a little further down, setting his feet up on the coffee table.

Using me...

Stacy had heard Eric's comment a gave a little sigh to herself. She hated when he put himself down, it always bothered her. There was more worth there than he would ever know but he just didn't see it. Maybe one day he would.

Having him move on to quickly to the next subject Stacy didn't even have a moment to comment but she figured thats what Eric wanted. So for now she would let it go. If this was going to be a last call for a little bit due to his phone now working right, and she didn't want to spend it fighting.

   "Take care of yourself ok Eric? And make sure you call again tomorrow. I'll let Ash know you called. See ya soon."

Hanging up the phone with Eric Stacy lets out a small sigh. She'd miss Eric while he was gone even longer but couldn't understood that he did need the money. However she new Ash would not be happy about it, and it was doing to be slightly diffacult to tell her....

...."What? But why? Why does he have to go back out? Don't he miss us?"

Ashlee looks at her mom with a sock as she finds out the news of Eric coming home, but leaving again shortly after. He said he wouldn't be gone long, and she missed him already horrible. She just didn't understand.

   "Ash, every one has to earn there keep here. That's why I work, thats why you help with some chores its how things work, and how the ranch keeps some of its costs down. Eric drives his truck to pull his weight around here, and of course he miss us...but this is what he has to do for his family."

Stacy new that Ash would take this new hard, maybe she didn't realize how hard though. She really had grown close to Eric, and Stacy was happy for that because Ash needed someone in her life, she could look up too. Another person she could confide in,

   "Hey maybe when Eric gets back you should tell him how much you missed him huh? Maybe he doesn't know just how much he means to you. Just try to take it easy on him ok? He's just trying to be to best he can...ok?"

   "I guess, it's just not fair, and I don't think it ever will be."

Letting out a huff Ash turns on her heels and walks out of the bunk house. It wasn't fair, and she hated that it wasn't but there really was nothing she could do about it. All she new was she was sad, and it hurt to think Eric would be gone even longer. A small tear slips from her eye as she makes her way to the barn. She hated feeling like this and in a way she didn't know why she did. It never bothered her before that it was herself and her mom. Could she really have gotten attachen to Eric that fast? Was this feeling because she missed him, and not having the person she look up to around was...sad.

Looking up into Gunner's eyes Bree wondered if she was the only one who could see there depth. The only one who new that the man looking back at her was the one she loved, but a whole other person at the same time. How torchered his soul must be, and how tired he must feel.

Giving a small smile and a little nod to the couch Bree gives the indication she could get everything and he could go rest.  Turning and heading to the kitchen to start everything she left out a small sigh.  Gunner had always been the strong one, he had given her hope, and helped her when she needed it and now she felt...so lost, and helpless. She wasn't sure what to do for him, or how to help.

After a few minutes of cooking some junk food of pizza rolls, mozzarella sticks, potato skins, and of course there shakes. It only takes another few minutes for Bree to pick a movie before she is comfortable settled next to Gunner out the love seat. It was a tight squeeze but she didn't care, she liked being smothered next to him.

   "Alright, time to relax, eat our non food food, and want a good movie..or for me eat than fall asleep and drool all over you."

Being deep in thought and not really paying attachen to anything around her Hope gives a small jump as she feels something on her leg that was followed by a woof. Her heart racing she looks down and soon her beating heart slows as a smile spreads across her lips seeing Domino.

   "Are you trying to be a ninja sneaking around? It's ok, you did a good job, but next time a little less of a cute woof might be better."

Leaning down and giving Domino a scratch behind her ears Hope was happy to see her little friend. She'd miss seeing Domino, more so her master, but she'd gotten close to the little dog as well. She always new how to make people smile and Hope liked that.

Hearing Scott's voice shortly after Hope looks up and gives a small smile. It felt strange seeing Scott and having it feel like they didn't even know each other anymore. They had been so close once, and now..no it was hard to even say they were friends. No calls, no texts, not even an email to just say hi. Hope had tried, she tried to fix things but one can only do that so long and get silence in response before they just can't anymore because it hurt to much.

   "Nah, I dont think she got tired of you. I think she just knows I have treats in my desk draw."

Shaking her head Hope opens her desk draw and pills out a dog treat her eye twinkling a little looking down at the little dog who's tail was wavy wildly now.

   "Uh huh...I new it. You were just using me for the treats wernt you."

Little a smile slip across her lips Hope gives the treat to Domino and than pats her head little her know it was ok. She didn't mind to horribly much. Looking back up at Scott she searches face for a long moment realizing what time it was and they he was still here. She wondered if he was getting better, but dared not to ask.

   "You're here late tonight. I didn't even realize anyone else was in the building still. Everything ok?"

Bored

Eric knew Stacy wasn’t happy with the idea of him being on the road so long, but he also had a gnawing in his gut, reminding him that he had nothing. Nothing to support himself away from the ranch. And nothing to support anyone else, should his future shift in that direction. Regardless, he did feel bad, and he couldn’t help his sigh.

“Yeah…I know Ash won’t be happy. If I had any kind of a brain, I wouldn’t be in this position.” It was a flippant statement and he knew it, but sometimes he did feel as though his mental shortcomings were going to keep him at this spot in life forever.

He moved on quickly before Stacy could chide him, and he had to chuckle at her last statement. “I don’t think my phone is gonna get fixed. There ain’t one piece of it left that’s bigger than a dime. I’ll be sure to call you tomorrow again when I make another stop, then I’ll be home in a couple days and…I’ll let you know for sure what I’ve decided about the job.”

Realizing someone else was waiting to use the phone, he knew he had to cut off his conversation. “Sorry to talk and run, but there’s a line, and my truck’s runnin’ outside. I’ll see ya soon. Tell Ash I said hi, too.”


Gunner tilted his head so he could look down into Bree’s face, and for several long moments he said nothing. His eyes looked into hers, as if searching to see how deeply he could gaze. Yet at the same time, his own stare was hollow, laced with confusion and a frustration so great that it was chipping away at his soul.

Blinking, he broke his stare and gave her shoulder another little squeeze. In truth, he wasn’t hungry at all. “Okay. Milkshakes and junk food it is. Can’t go wrong with that, huh?” He forced a smile, even though it only proved to show his tiredness.

“You pick the movie though. I had a hard enough time just picking out which socks to wear this morning.”


The hallway was quiet tonight. It was the kind of quiet that made one want to listen to music, turn on a television or talk to someone, just to create some noise. It was the kind of quiet that provoked one’s mind to consider subjects which the host did not particularly care for. Not that it was too unusual for this individual. His mind often wandered to darker topics – more often than not lately.

Removing his headphones, Scott leaned back in the office chair. Dalton had already left…it was the first time Scott had been left alone here in a very long time. Usually he left before Dalton, or with him – but to be sitting here alone brought on a different kind of feeling. It wasn’t so much that he was scared, but almost as if he thought he was supposed to be. It was unsettling, but…not the worst kind of feeling, when considering all the dark things he’d felt before.

A tap on his leg brought a small smile to his face, and he looked down at Domino’s hopeful eyes. “Ready to go home, huh?”

She wriggled her stumpy tail in response, and nuzzled his hand, knowing better than to bark like she wanted to. That was the rule here, in this building. Being quiet kept her out of trouble, and allowed her to keep coming with her master every day. Or, at least a few days a week. It seemed to be a little more often lately.

Scott sighed before giving in and scratching Domino’s head. “Okay. Let’s go.” It would be dark when he got home. It was probably already dark. Which meant his house would be really dark. He’d known that when he’d looked at the clock earlier. But somehow he’d wanted to stay anyway. Perhaps…deep down… under the fear…he finally wanted to try and see if he could do it again. Walk into a dark house, that is.

Heading down the hall and reaching the main floor, he dug his keys from his pocket, but stopped when he suddenly realized Domino was no longer with him. He turned several times to make sure she wasn’t hiding on his blind side, then spotted her just as she disappeared into the one office door that was still open. “Domino!” Too late.

Seeing Hope behind her desk, Domino wiggled with excitement. She hadn’t been allowed to see her much lately, which confused her, but the door had been open, and Scott hadn’t been watching so…it was okay, right? Trotting over to the desk, she put her front paws up on Hope’s leg and dared a very quiet little woof, greeting her friend.

Still in the hallway, Scott hesitated. A new kind of pang hit his stomach and traveled up into his throat. He wasn’t surprised to see Hope’s office light still on – he usually left before she did though…especially after that night she’d come over and he’d turned her away. He’d intended to still be friends, but they were more of mere acquaintances now, hardly nodding to each other from across the room, and never making eye contact. He wasn’t even sure that they’d exchanged two words since that night. It had been his doing, but…it never had felt right. And Justin’s firm promptings hadn’t helped any either.

Mustering up his gumption, Scott aimed for Hope’s office. “Domino, what do you think you’re doing?” He rounded the corner and found it just a bit difficult to let his gaze land on Hope…but it was only for a moment before he dropped his sights to the floor. “Sorry. Guess she got bored following me around.”


As Victoria stepped back, Garret’s hands slid own her arms until his fingers locked with hers. He didn’t want to let her go. He didn’t want to see her disappear in the darkness, never knowing when they’d meet again. He didn’t want to let her go, knowing what her next mission was. He’d never love her less – she crossed no more lines than he, when it came to their duties. But he still hated it.

“I’ll be as safe as I always am.” He forced a small smile, though his eyes remained so very weary. He knew he needed to snap out of this funk, less anyone grow suspicious of where his loyalties lay. But it wasn’t easy.

With good sense winning out over his emotions, he finally let Victoria go. It would be several more minutes though, before he would head to his own quarters for the night. He needed the rest. With his lack of caring for himself, his body was growing weary.


“So you’re still seeing him then, huh?”

Ariel glanced over her shoulder before pulling back her hair and smirking in the hall mirror at Colt’s reflection behind her. “Yes. Problem?”

“Naw. I mean…you’re a grown woman, right?”

Ariel rolled her eyes and turned to aim for the kitchen. “Take your spurs off before you scratch my chair.”

Colt only moved his feet out to the sides further, remaining seated backward in the kitchen chair. “You know, the older you get, the more particular you get. Careful or you might turn into an old woman prematurely.”

“Oh, shut up.” Ariel’s tone might have been harsh, but her lips smiled. She knew her brother only cared for her – it was his concern that made him a butthead, not meanness. Cleaning up a few last minute things on the counter, she turned around to shake her head. “You’re just jealous.”
  
Colt grinned and took another bite of his apple. “Well, I have to admit, it doesn't seem fair you've got a love life and I've got none."

"Love life?!" Ariel's voice rose, as did color into her cheeks…as did her arm as she threw a dish towel at him. "I would hardly say one or two dates a week – tops – is a love life."

Colt's laughter was genuine as he caught the towel midair. "Calm down. I'm just teasing."

Though Ariel was scowling, she couldn't help a new little grin. She could strangler her brother most days, but she'd also protect him with her life if need be. And…as annoying as it was, she appreciated his interest in her life, whether it was who she chose to date or not. Tonight was no different. "At least you get me for the movies tonight."

"True. Very true." Colt stood and tossed his apple core into the trash can. A movie night with his sister was their once-a-month routine, and few people knew that they'd made a deal years ago that until one of them was married, they'd keep that routine.

"But take your spurs off first." Ariel checked her watch then moved to retrieve her jacket. "You look like an idiot."

Colt's smile returned, but he did as he was told. He'd come here directly from the stable, and was just thankful for his sister not minding if he smelled like horses.

Fixed

Feeling Gunner's arm wrap around her Bree's heart jumped, it always seemed to do that when Gunner touched her. She new as of late things had gotten hard to him, and life just wasn't the same right now with all that was going on but at least he was trying. She'd continue to do all she could to help, or just be there when he needed a shoulder. It wasn't just him in this battle it was both of them weather he wanted it that way or not. That's what a relationship was about, two people working together to make the other stronger.

   "Mmmm...I think my Uncle said something about going out a little later tonight, so I think we are on our own for dinner. Soooo...how about we throw a movie on, I'll make some milky milk shakes with extra shake of course and we can order some junk food."

Bree returned the squeeze to Gunner just holding on a little extra bit longer. She was happy he was here, she was happy to know for the most part he was ok, she was happy that if something did happen she would be right next to him to help all she could. All she could ever ask for was that Gunner would be here, with her always.  She'd cared for many people before, her heart big, but Gunner, Gunner was different. There wasn't a think she wouldn't do for him. He was her soul mate, her vampire, she just new it.

   "Watch a movie, play a game, just cuddle, as long as I am with you...nothing else matters."

Hearing Eric's voice on the other end of the phone was confirmation that yes he was ok. She hated assuming the worse but not getting any replys, or calls from him was very odd, and it just didn't feel right. Now she could relax though, and at least for now know he was alright.

   "My goodness Eric, you know how to make a person worry dont you? The next phone you get I am buying one of those indestructible cases. I think your harder on your phone than I am."

Sitting back in her chair Stacy gives a soft smile and a shake of her head even though Eric couldn't see her. She was happy he'd called and she got to hear his voice. It hadn't been THAT long but it had been long enough.

   "Well no matter, I'm happy you're ok and you called. Thank you."

Hearing about the change in plans for Eric, and being on the road there was a long pause. Stacy let is process, before she said anything. She didn't like the sound of Eric being gone for so long, and she new Ashlee wouldn't like it either but how could she tell him no? In all honestly this was his desition, not there.

   "Being totally honest here I dont like the sound of you being gone for so long and I know Ash wont like it either. She already hates the face you have been done this long, and complains to me almost every day. But I know you need the money, and it wouldn't be right for us to tell you not to go."

Stacy new this was the right this to do and say. Eric had to be in control of his life, not them. Yes they were part of it, but it didn't revolve around them. He wouldn't be gone forever.

   "If you need to do this job, than I understand. Ash and I arn't going anywhere, at least not now. When you get back we will be here. Just make sure you get your phone fix ok?"

Victoria cocks her head to one side, looking at Garret with a slight bit of worry in her eyes. He was the only one who would ever see that, the worry, the love, no one else ever had, or would. 

   "I haven't hear anything yet, I know shortly after you leave I am going to be leaving myself. My grandfather wants me to try and get Mitch to join him. He said he could use his power, his men, and his money. So its up to me to make him want to join, and stick around."

Shifting a little bit Victoria continues to look into Garrets eyes. If she was successful in this and getting Mitch to stick around it would more than likely be because he would want to peruse her or at least spend more time with her. So on one had Victoria didn't want this, but on the other she new she must because it was her job.

   "I'll see what I can find out for you. Just...be safe, I dont know what I would do if I lost you."

Leaning in Victoria places a small kiss on Garrets lips before letting him go and taking a few steps back. They both needed to go there own ways now. It had been far to long they had been off the radar and sooner or later someone was going to wonder where they were, and why they were both missing, together.

Longer Haul

Gunner sighed deeply. He wanted to smile, but his lips wouldn't cooperate. He wanted to pull Bree into a hug and hold her tight and kiss her, but his emotions felt as though they had drained every ounce of energy.

His eyes drifted down to her hand before he finally gave in and reached his arm around her shoulders to give her a light squeeze. "I'm sorry... I know I'm not very good company right now. Thanks for smiling anyway."

He shrugged, trying to stay on task and bring the conversation back around to her original question. "You can fix something if you like. I'm just not very hungry, so if you'd rather not bother, that's fine too. I'm really okay with whatever you and JT wanna do."

"Hey, babe!" Eric leaned against the wall inside the truck stop, trying not to get distracted by all the noise around him while he was using the pay phone. "Mick tell you about my phone? Totally smashed. Sorry it worried ya. This was the first chance I got to pull off and give ya a ring."

He glanced at his watch, knowing that he needed to get back on the road as soon as possible. "Listen, um...first, I just wanted to let you know I was alright and I'll call again while I can - I need your number again though 'cause I never did memorize it." He inwardly rolled his eyes at himself. He never could memorize anything worth a lick. Not anymore. "And second, there's a possible change in plans. I should be back to the ranch in a couple days, and...I was scheduled to leave again just for a week. As it turns out though, I've been offered a new run instead. The only hitch is that I'll probably be on the road about four weeks, cross country." He paused, knowing that Stacy wouldn't like the sound of that. Not that he liked it himself, but it was a job. "The pay is almost too good to pass up - sure could use the money. What with you and Ash though, I...guess I thought I'd see what you had to say about it."

Garret wished this moment could last forever, but he knew it couldn't. It was amazing that their relationship had gone undetected this long. At any moment, they could be discovered, and never be allowed to see each other again...or worse. Garret would never forgive himself if Victoria was harmed because of their love. He would rather hide all of his feelings even from her, than watch her suffer because he let his emotions get the best of him. As it was, with her loving him in return, this was all they had. It was what they had.

"I need to go before I'm missed." He again spoke quietly, still gazing into Victoria's eyes. "In three days, I leave again. Keep your ears sharp... I sense your grandfather has plans for my future but he has yet to reveal them to me." It wasn't like Medridge to keep Garret in the dark, but something had been off. Perhaps the elderly man had sensed Garret's recent disapproval of several missions. If that was the case, Garret would need to be extra careful - which might mean crossing one too many lines...like he always did.

"Hey...anybody home?" Clay entered the house and glanced around, unsure who was home, according to the vehicles in the driveway.

"Oh, hi, Clay." Rick poked his head out of the living room, checking to make sure the voice he'd heard was indeed his nephew's. "Anything exciting happening?"

Clay scoffed. "No."

"Job hunt went that well, huh?"

"Pretty much." Clay wandered into the living room and flopped down on the couch before taking off his ball cap and sighing deeply. "I'm beginning to think I shoulda found a crap apartment and gone on welfare."

Rick smirked. "It's no wonder you can't find anything with an attitude like that."

Clay only rolled his eyes.

Rick shook his head and eased down in his chair again, picking up the book he'd been reading. His concentration was short-lived though, as his mind wandered back to earlier in the day when he'd found the discarded paper by the waste basket. "Hey, Clay?"

His nephew glanced up without much enthusiasm. "Yeah?"

"I saw something earlier. I know it was trash, but it just caught my eye so I took a closer look."

Clay's eyebrow arched. "Do I really want to know what you saw in the trash?"

Rick's smirk returned. "It was that poem you wrote."

"Huh? What poem?"

"About the dark wings."

Clay blinked. "You read it? After I threw it away?"

"Well, technically it was on the floor, but yeah, I did."

Clay's eyes darkened. "So much for privacy."

"Look, I'm sorry, but I just...wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I don't get it."

"Well, the poem is pretty dark."

It was several moments before Clay blinked again. His voice was less than approving. "You've got to be kidding me."

Rick set aside his book. "No, I'm not. I just wondered if you're okay, that's all. I care about you."

"Because of some stupid chicken scratch?" Clay rose to his feet in disgust. "Give me a break. If I wanted someone to dissect my psyche, I'd go see a shrink." 

"Settle down. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Well you did." In an attempt to end the conversation, Clay turned and left, heading upstairs to what was currently his bedroom. A few minutes later as he was seated on his bed though, the knock on the door came as no surprise. "What?" 

Rick sighed and cautiously opened the door. "Are you really okay?" 

"Would you get off it?!" Clay stood again. "I can't help it you've never read anything other than medical books and newspapers. If you're shocked by a little darkness, then you've been living in a hole."

"I'm not shocked, I just wondered where it came from."

"Who cares? It's stupid anyway. It was just something I wrote down out of my own dumb mind. End of story."

"It's far from dumb," Rick defended. "Dark or not, it's a very good piece of writing." 

Clay paused for a moment, not sure how to take all this. "It's garbage."

"It is not! Who told you it was?" 

"Everything I've ever tried turns out to be garbage," Clay hissed. "Now would you just drop this thing? I'm not gonna go shoot my brains out, if that's what you're worried about, so just forget about it!" 

Rick held up his hands in surrender, even though he was confused and unsatisfied. "Okay, fine. It's over. I gotta run to work here in a bit to grab some paperwork. If you wanna tag along, you're more than welcome." 

Clay only grunted his response before he flopped back down on the bed, curling around his pillow.

Giving up for now, Rick shut the door quietly and headed downstairs again. He hadn't thought he'd been wrong to ask Clay about the poem, but why had the reaction been so poor? Was Clay really more depressed than he let on? And what was with him thinking the piece of writing was so stupid? 

Left alone, Clay finally rolled over to stare up at the ceiling. Dark wings. Maybe he did feel like the poem. But it was none of Rick's business. And it was a crappy piece. All of his writing was. His dad had been right.

Anothing Reason

Letting out a long sigh Bree wasn't sure what to say to Gunner's comment. She hated hearing and seeing him like this. It wasn't his normal self and she didn't like it. The last thing she wanted to do as well was be one of those people who told Gunner what to do. Everyone was only trying to help and she wished he would see that.  It was just so hard, but she new for Gunner she had to try and be strong and comfort him all she could.

   "I'd like to decided with you if thats ok?! I'm not sure myself what I am in the mood for. Pretty much seems like a whole lot of nothing, and everything at the same time."

Bree takes a few steps closer to Gunner and lays a hand on his arm. He was always so strong, it was those arms that comforted her when she needed it the most. It was those arms that held her and broke her free from her prison. And now when Gunner needed her she felt hopeless.

Finally looking up at him Bree gives a small smile. Her eyes twinkling slightly. She might feel helpless but she was trying at least, and thats really all that mattered. At least in her own mind it made sense.

   "Having my partner in crime seems much better to me than trying to figure it out on my own."

Victoria couldn't help the scoff that slipped out of her lips. Something about Garrent's comment was funny. To her it was because of Garret she felt like she spent less time looking over her shoulder, because she new he always had her back no matter what. No matter the situation, reason or anything else that might come up, he was always there.

   "Oh Garret, I'd be looking over my shoulder a whole lot more, for a whole different reason. At least with you its well worth it, and its something to look forward again for."

Feeling the kiss that trailed on her neck brought a smile to her lips and soft murmur was aloud to escape this time. When she had been younger thunder and lighting had scared her, it caused her to jump and was all to loud. She'd run to her mother and fathers room and hide from it. But as she grew, it seemed there were noises that scared her more. Some soft, and could only be heard if trained. Noises that were so soft they could make a person def. Now thunder was a comfort, and act in witch was normal, and was anything but scary. 

Letting her lips meet Garrets and letting her passion out Victoria soaked up the moment all she could. Tomorrow would be another day but there was no telling if it would be there last for a while, or when the might be able to share another moment like this again. Till the moment was broken she held fast, finally backing away to look up at Garret and give a smile, his words were her sugar, a caffeine that let her face another day.

   "I love you too Garret, more than anyone will ever know."

Looking up at Mick called her to her Stacy cocks her head to one side for a moment looking at him. On the inside she let a small sigh of re leaf. She had been texting Eric a few times and ever tried calling him but getting nothing had made her worry. She'd run through many things in her own head of what could have happened and non of them were all that pretty. Knowing he was ok, and only a broken phone was the cause of his silent was a good feeling. She didn't know if it showed on her face or not really how releaved she was.

   "Alright Mick, thanks I will be right there."

Looking back to her food she shakes her head a little bit and leave a small giggle. It would be here still when she got back, and if not she could find something else. Getting up and heading for the door, she makes hast heading to the office and just letting herself in. Picking up the phone she sucks in a breath before letting it out once again.

   "Eric? Is that you? I've been worried sick....is everything ok?"

Phone Call

Gunner silently fell into step next to Bree, walking to the house and to the little makeshift bedroom, aka JT's office with a futon. It was either that or the living room though, and Gunner would just as well tuck himself away where he didn't have to see anybody. Not that being here would make it all that easy.

Had Bree just said something? He looked down at her, trying to get his brain back on track, but it seemed stuck in a thick fog that just wouldn't go away. "Um...sure...whatever you want to do. It's not like I have anywhere to go." 

He set down his bag before looking out the window to the backyard, getting lost in thought once more. He should have brought his telescope with him. Or perhaps stargazing was just a foolish way to pass the time, holding no meaning other than to stare at worthless space. On the other hand, it kept his mind occupied, which was worth something in itself. 

His eyes focused on the backyard again. He realized he'd been silent for several moments, so he turned around and tried the best smile he could for Bree. "You decide about food or whatever." He shrugged. "I'm on a roll with letting people tell me what to do." 

Garret drew Victoria into another hug...perhaps only to hide his face. "You wouldn't be lost," he responded quietly. "You're too strong. Too smart. Without me, you just wouldn't have quite as much practice looking over your shoulder."

He nuzzled his face into her until his lips found her neck to kiss. A clap of thunder didn't even make him flinch. "We're too strong to fall apart," he whispered. "And too weak to let go." Another trail of kisses led him back to her lips to conclude his passionate affection before he let her go and set his hands on her shoulders. 

Looking at her through the rain and amidst erratic flashes of lightning, he wanted to smile, but it just wouldn't surface. Being with Victoria grew in torture every time they saw each other. He loathed it, yet wouldn't trade it for the world. She had his heart in the palm of her hand, whether it was dangerous or not, and he simply had no say in the matter. 

His hands gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "I love you."

"...totally busted, so I ain't got any idea if anybody's called or texted me." 

Mick managed to swallow a laugh, imagining Eric's story of driving right over his cell phone with his big rig. "Well that stinks."

"No kidding. I'm on a payphone now. Just wanted to let y'all know I'm still alive."

"Good to know. Other than your phone, how's the run?" 

"Alright. Few hitches, but nothing I can't handle. Hey, do me a favor? Get Stacy on the line? Without my cell, I couldn't remember her number." 

"Sure thing." Mick was already on his feet in the ranch office. "Drive safe, brother." He set the phone aside without hanging up, and went to go find Stacy. He was glad to hear from Eric - it had been almost two weeks since he'd left, and things weren't the same around here without him. Mick had wanted to ask Eric what he'd really called about. He could tell there was more than just smalltalk that Eric wanted, but he also knew he was short on time, and Mick wouldn't begrudge him talking to Stacy.

..."Hey, Stacy?" Mick had spotted her in the dining room as it was nearing lunchtime. "Eric's on the phone in the office. Apparently he drove over his cell phone and could only remember the ranch's number." He gave her a wry grin. "Maybe you should convince the big goof to get one of those indestructible cases for his next phone." 

Awaiting

Smiling at Susanne Chad was happy she mentioned the bike. She was getting more comfortable with riding on the bike and it was happy. He liked having her arms around him, and just feeling her close. It was a nice feeling that he enjoyed very much.

   "You are lucky I just happened to bring my extra helmet. So I would love to be able to take my bike."

Backing away from Susanna and holding out his hand Chad continues to smile. Susanne's timid ways was cute and he loved every moment of it. It just added to the joy it gave him when she wanted to do things.

   "Alright my lady, the white horse awaits,"


Looking up at Gunner Bree smiles. She couldn't be mad with him, or upset with him. This was just another step in life and her love for Gunner was to big to look away.

   "I am happy Hope did, and I don't know whats wrong with you either, but we will figure it out together and I wont leave you high and dry. Not now, not ever."

Taking Gunner's hand in her own Bree walks with him up to the house. Showing him to the room he had been in before Bree just wanted to make sure he was comfortable. She new this wasn't easy for him and she just wanted to help with that.

   "Want me to cook some dinner and than we can watch a movie?"

Feeling Garret's arms around her Victoria melted into his embrace and his kiss. This had been the longest they had been away from each other in a long time. She hated the weekend they were not together, and the hours away. It always seemed though that it made there time that much sweeter.

   "You're the only things that keeps me going at times. I couldn't imagine how life would be without you. I'd be lost."

Everything in her life that she had done, that she had gone thought, wrong or right, good or bad, with Garret near it didn't matter. It wiped the slate clean and made her feel good. Maybe he would be the only one that would ever understand, being with him in these moments it was worth the risk.

When You're Around

Susanne giggled at Chuck's humor before nuzzling into his hug. She sighed deeply and wrapped her arms around his waist, glad that he was so flexible and willing to go with the flow, even when she'd ruined dinner. 

"Yeah don't gnaw off your arm, please...I like both of them to hold me." 

After a moment of just enjoying his embrace, she finally pulled away and grinned up at him. "If we have to go downtown anyway...can we take your bike?"

Gunner had been lost in his own little world, so when he heard Bree's voice, he jumped, startled. "Huh? Oh..." He glanced in the backseat and shrugged. "Naw...I mean...it's not much." 

He hadn't talked to her all day, which was not his norm, but he knew that by now Bree would know everything either from Hope or JT. And it wasn't fun. He didn't like being in this position. He didn't like needing them to take care of him. He didn't like not understanding why he felt the way he did. Nothing made sense. 

Realizing he was still just sitting there, he finally forced himself to unbuckle his seatbelt and exit the car. Walking around to Bree, he gave her a small hug and kiss, but it was quite obvious he was either very distracted or very tired...maybe both. 

"Deja vu," he mumbled as he reached in the backseat to grab his two bags. "First time I was getting out of a mental hospital. This time I'm just going mental in general." 

He shut the door and sighed before he looked back at Bree. As quickly as the irritation had come, it was gone, leaving his eyes faraway and hollow. "I don't know what's happening to me," he admitted softly. "And I'm sorry you have to put up with me 'til I get it figured out. I wouldn't be here if Hope hadn't insisted." 

Though not as much on guard as he should be, Garret was unsurprised by Victoria's sudden presence. Still ignoring the rain, he returned her embrace, feeling almost a sense of relief that his arms could finally hold her again. Four weeks was an eternity. 

Instead of answering her question, he pulled back slightly, his palm finding the side of her face. Leaning in, he kissed her with passion, letting the depth speak for his emotions. He'd missed her. He cared for her. She was his sanity in  this chaos. Lightning created a silhouette of their embrace before thunder again shook the sky. It did little to Garret's concentration on Victoria though. 

Eventually drawing away, his hand remained on her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. Despite the rain streaming down his own face though, it could not hide the darkness in his gaze.

"I'm only okay when you're around," he finally answered. "When you're not, the world doesn't exist, and nothing else matters."

Worry

   "Well, we can always just do lagana in a couple of days again. It gives me a good reason to come back over. Not that your not a good enough reason."

Hearing Susanne's laugh was catchy and it made Chad laugh even more himself. It made him feel good and just seeing her smile made him feel so good on the inside. It was a feeling he new he would never tire of not many times he heard it.

   "Alright...why don't we head over to the pizza box tonight. I am starving and I don't know how much longer I can hold out. Last thing I want to do it bite my arm off and scare you away."

Grinning Chad pulls Susanne into a big bear hug holding her close for a long moment. He didn't care what they had to eat as long as he was with her. That really was the only thing he cared about and the only thing he wanted. To just be with Susanne and enjoy her company.

Going to the front door and stepping outside Bree smiles and gives a wave to Gunner. She new this had to be hard for Gunner and she wanted to make it as easy as she could for him. Maybe knowing she would help him through this and she didn't think any differently of him would help a little bit.

Walking to the car and holding her smile Bree's eyes twinkled. She was excited in a way to see Gunner more. She enjoyed her time with him and getting more time with him would be great.

  "Hey you, I wanted to see if you needed help with your bags."

Looking out the window as the rain hit the window pains Victoria could feel a stiffness in the air and it was not just the weather causing it. She wasn't sure why but it bothered her, and almost worried her as well. It had been a long time since she had seen Garret and she wasn't sure if maybe she felt the way she did.

As a light flashes again Victoria catches sight of a figure moving to the secret garden area. Her heart beated a little faster and she new who it was. The rain wouldn't stop her from seeing the one person she missed the most. Even if she would rune her dress she could buy a new one.

It didn't take long to move through the house and get to the secret garden. She was drenched but she didn't notice it much and the weather was slightly warm. Seeing Garret only made her heart race even more.

   "Garret...your a sight for sore eyes. I missed you so much."

Stepping closer and putting her arms around him Victoria embraces him. She could tell he had lost some weight and it worried her slightly. Garret mostly stayed the same with it came to his weight.

   "Are you ok?"

Rainstorm

Susanne smirked as Chuck poked at the lasagna... or what was left of it, anyway. She appreciated his efforts to be kind, but it did little to fix the problem here - the fact that she'd just ruined their supper. 

Looking up at him, she sighed before giving him a wry grin. "I'm fine. Just irked with myself, that's all. I don't know what happened, and I was looking forward to you trying my lasagna." 

She reached up and set her hands on his, leaving them on her shoulders. "I suppose if I wanted a little extra attention, I could always act like this was a devastating experience, but...it's hardly the most traumatic thing I've been through." She finally smiled as a little snicker came out. It became a giggle, which evolved into a fit of laughter. "I'm sorry," she gasped, bending over to catch her breath. "I really wanted to cook for you... You decide where we go tonight. I'm too discombobulated now." 

Gunner sat in his car, parked by the curb. He'd been sitting in front of JT's house for at least fifteen minutes now, but hadn't yet gathered enough gumption to go inside. He saw JT's car. He saw Bree's car. Yet he didn't want to see them. He'd been here countless times. He'd even stayed here after his time at Northside. Yet tonight...tonight he wished he'd told Hope no. He was ashamed. Embarrassed. He was a grown man who couldn't even control his own mind, and he was putting the burden on someone he loved, and a good friend. 

His car's backseat held a duffel bag, a backpack and his pillow. He'd had enough nerve to pack, at least. And now he just wished there was an easier solution. 

Inside the house, JT pulled aside the curtain and furrowed his brow. He took another sip of his iced tea before turning around and wandering back to the kitchen where supper was in the oven. "Gunner's sitting outside," he mentioned to Bree. "Has been for at least ten minutes. I...have a feeling he might need an extra prompt to get him inside this time." 

Thunder shook the ground and lighting streaked across the sky. Rain came down in torrents as the wind blew. It mattered little though. Garret cared not that he was soaked through to the bone. Standing in the near-flooded rose garden, he held his face to the sky and sought not for shelter. 

It was near midnight, and power had been lost on the estate. A lightning strike had seen to that. Not everybody knew about it though - only those with high security clearance, or those with good ears to know what was happening. Regardless Garret was one who knew, and as such, he knew that no security cameras had seen him walk across the property to find himself in the secluded garden. He'd been back two days from his last mission, and had slept a total of three hours since. He'd been gone for four weeks, and had returned with less weight, and dark circles under his eyes. He'd completed his task as requested and had done everything Medridge wanted. And he felt just as empty now as he did after every mission. 

Another flash of lightning revealed his dark outline against the rain. He still did not move. He wanted the rain to wash away the pain. The guilt. The madness. But nothing could remove it. Victoria's love always numbed it for him - he hadn't even seen her since he'd first left four weeks ago. But could her limited affection really solve anything? He knew it was a feeble attempt to dull his other senses. He had to get out. Somehow. Before he went mad.

Thanks

Chuck can't help but chuckle as he looks over Susanne shoulder. She was always a good cook but mishaps happened and he wouldn't hold it against her.  But he new she was going to feel horrible about this because that was her.

   "Well...we could always...try and eat this still..."

Poking at it with his finger the burnt peaces under it just crumble and turn into dust. Cringing a little bit Chuck couldn't help the smile that spread across his lips. He did find this slightly funny and hopefully his laughter would help Susanne not be to upset about the whole thing.

   "Mmmm...We can get some pizza from the pizza box, or I could always treat us to something a little nicer, than we can come back here and continue with our plans."

Taking the pan from Susanne and putting it down at the counter Chuck comes back over to her and places his hands on her shoulders looking down into her eyes. His own dances and smiled as he shook his head just a little bit.

   "I have never know you to burn anything? Before I make anymore jokes out of this...is everything ok? I want to make you feel better if I have to not worse."

Answering her phone Bree greets her Uncle and listens to what he had to say about Gunner. She new something wasn't right and just by everything he had told her the other night she could tell too and it had worried her. Knowing Gunner would be around people he new made Bree feel a little better. She wasn't worried he would hurt himself again but if it happened on mistake she would feel horrible.

   "Ok, Thank you for letting him stay there. I will be over tonight to spend time with you guys."

She really was thinkful to her Uncle. Not that she ever would of thought he would say no. He was way to kind for that and since Gunner was connected to her she new that made him extra special.

   "Thanks again. I better get back to work. I will see you guys tonight."

Okay by me

JT stood in the lounge, sipping a cup of coffee. He'd just finished with several patients and needed an extra pick-me-up to make it through the afternoon. Listening to his voicemail, he arched an eyebrow. He wasn't too surprised though. With the way Gunner had been lately, he'd wondered if anything would get worse, or if it would all blow over. Apparently he was having some kind of relapse. JT was more than willing to help though. If Gunner needed extra support and a place to stay, it wasn't a problem.

Taking a few extra moments, he called Bree, knowing she'd answer as long as she wasn't right in the middle of anything too pressing. "Hey, Bree, it's your uncle... Listen, I just got a call from Hope. I guess you were right - Gunner's not doing so hot. She seems to think it would be best if he wasn't alone right now, so she asked if he could stay at my place. Doesn't sound like he's suicidal or anything - just a bit disoriented from everything going on."

He tossed out his styrofoam cup and whatever was left of his cold coffee. "Figured I'd let her know it was okay by me, and...thought you'd probably wanna come over tonight too, to see what's up, especially if Gunner doesn't let you know."

Alec can't help a light scoff at Misty's thanks. "You kidding? I owe you a lot more than just doing a few odd jobs around here." A pause followed, but even so, his emotions of gratefulness were evident. "I'll, um...see you tonight."

Susanne stared down at the dish she was holding with oven mitts, before she looked up at Chuck. "Um..." She scrunched up her nose and remained standing in the middle of her kitchen, not quite sure what to do now. "Apparently I didn't take this out soon enough...unless lasagna is...supposed to be...black." 

She didn't usually cook so badly. On the contrary, usually she did quite a good job, and just recently she'd started having Chuck over for supper once in a while. Tonight though, something had gone horribly wrong. 

Still just standing there, she had no idea where to go from here, and her eyes were wide. "Do you... like pizza from the Pizza Box?"

Call

Finally letting out her breath Hope smiled softly. She was happy Gunner decided to stay with JT on his own. It was a smart move, and it would make her feel better. At least till he was feeling better and a little more with it, and remembering again.

   "It's not a problem Gunner I can call him. You don't have to go there now but by tonight would be good. You're still independent Gunner and can do what you want, its just for the time being, being around someone else will help."

Giving another soft smile Hope turns and heads into the other room to call JT. She could already guess he would say yes and leaving a message on his voicemail to call her if he couldn't have Gunner there she didn't think he would mind. Gunner was important to him as much as he was to Bree.

Coming back to the room Hope sets her phone down on the counter before looking at Gunner again. She new this was going to be good for him even if he didn't see it. 

   "The call is made, and if all is well you can go there tonight."

Sitting back in her chair at her desk and poping a few grapes into her mouth Misty smiles and shakes her head. Swallowing she speaks again. She remembered when she had the energy like Alec and now it just seemed she got more tired and more tired.

   "Thats fine with me. I have kind of let it go since you know I got prego. Thanks Alec...for everything. I really mean that. You have helped me a lot and I couldn't have done it without you."

Embarrassed

Gunner thought for several long moments, mulling over the options Hope was giving him. Part of him wanted to fight - this was his life and he could take care of himself. And part of him wanted to give in - he was too tired of thinking of so many things, and he knew he needed help. 

Eventually, he nodded. "Okay." His voice indicated sadness...perhaps disappointment in himself. "I'd...prefer going to JT's I think. I stayed there before, when I got out of Northside, didn't I?" For some reason, remembering things was difficult today. He swallowed hard. "But...but would you ask JT for me?" It was bad enough feeling this lost and confused, but now there was embarrassment added to the mix. The part of him that was still thinking straight felt like a little kid who needed a babysitter rather than a full grown man on the Elite force, who was engaged, no less. But he was too tired to argue. 

He mustered up the strength to stand again, tucking his hands into his pockets and staring at the floor. "Does this mean I have to go today?" 


Hearing excitement in Misty's voice too made Alec feel good. Someone was proud of him. "Um...I start next week on Monday. Don't know what my schedule will look like after that - I think it will vary from week to week, but it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. Anyway...so yeah, I got the ice cream...and til you get home, I thought I'd clean up the front yard around the porch if that's okay with you."


Rick nodded his agreement. "Yeah, I think asking him about it might be good, and you're right - dark or not, this is very well written. I never saw him as the creative type, but...I'm beginning to wonder if there's lots of things I've never seen in him. He's been pretty quiet since coming here - I almost worry he keeps to himself too much. Thought I might see about getting him back together with Misty and Jason again or something." 

For there sake

Looking back at Gunner Hope gives him a small shake of her head. She felt bad but she new that he could not stay here himself. He wasn't crazy but it wasn't good for him to stay alone either.

   "I think they would be very proud of you Gunner, but I don't think they would like it much if they new people were trying to help you and you wouldn't let them."

Taking a step closer to Gunner and placing her hand on his Hope had a look that showed she did care a great deal about him and what happened. She did care and this was important for more than one reason.

   "I need you Gunner or Bree sake, and all your friends to consider staying with JT or Bree even. If not than we will had to find you else where to stay. Not because your crazy at all, but because you had had a mental break. That has nothing to do with being crazy or not but its a must to have someone here, or for you to go and be with someone else. I don't want to force you at all because thats not how I like to do things so I would like it if you would do it on your own...please."

Getting Alec's phone call Misty couldn't help her own excitement bubble over as she sat on her desk. She new Alec had been still looking for a job and it had been driving him crazy not to find anything. Hearing how exicted he was now was a good feeling for Misty.

   "Oh wow Alec that's great. I am so happy for you. When do you start?"

Looking at the words over and over again for a long moment and studying it Janet didn;t know Clay all that well but from what she did know he didn't seem like the time to do anything dumb. And yet could they be wrong?

   "Well I dont think Clay seems like someone who might harm themselves. More like an active imagination or just revealing some stress."

Glancing at the paper again and just holding it Janet can't help but take note really to how well it was written. It flowed nicely, made sense and painted a picture in ones head.

   "We could always ask him about it. And it is rather well written."

Dark Wings

Gunner chewed on his lower lip, not looking to Hope, but still listening. He finally shook his head. "I don't wanna burden JT...or Bree." He remained on the floor and started rocking slightly, not even realizing it was a dead giveaway for how nervous and stressed out he was. "It's not fair...not fair to Bree...None of this."

He tried to think straight. Tried to clear his mind. But it felt like he was trapped inside a thick fog with no light to guide him out. Never had he felt so confused and unable to think. 

"I forgot everything," he whimpered. "Why can't I forget about this? Why am I cursed? I just...I want to give up. It's not worth fighting anymore. Just not worth it." 

He turned his eyes to Hope with a pitiful look of desperation. "Am I really going crazy? Too crazy to stay here by myself?" His gaze lowered. "My parents wouldn't be very proud of me, would they?"

"Hey, Misty..." Alec stood in the kitchen on the phone, having just called Misty's cell phone. He knew she was at work, but he was dying to talk to her. 

"I just wanted to let you know that when I was out today, I brought some ice cream home...to celebrate... 'cause... I got a job." A genuine smile was on his face. "It's with the city - I can't figure who put in a good word for me, but somebody must have, since they turned me down once before. Anyway, I get to do work like cleaning up sidewalks, mowing grass at the park, stuff like that." He couldn't help the excitement in his voice. 

"They're gonna give me tasks to do on a weekly basis, and I can work up to thirty hours. If what they give me isn't enough, I can find stuff to do, too. I figure that, plus the few hours with Carson... I can finally start paying you some rent."

Rick sat in the kitchen with Janet, having taken time to come home for lunch. Clay was out job hunting, and it was just as well for the moment. 

"What do you make of this?" Rick furrowed his brow as he studied the handwritten words. He'd found the paper crumpled by the bathroom waste basket, and would have thrown it away - as was probably intended - but some of the words had caught his attention. 

"Dark wings spread to circle high

Above the blood red moon.

Descending into black for prey below,

I shake.

But not in fear.

Muscles poised ready to fire

My arrow into his heart.

Death.

One must die tonight.

Avoiding razor talons, I must fight

Lest I become

One of them.

Dark creature of the night,

Thirsty for slaughter.

For my flesh.

But I am prepped for battle

One arrow pulled to aim.

Yet I find

There is no heart to pierce.

Dark wings spread around me,

Lifting me high

Towards the blood red moon.

I've lost myself.

No longer man.

But a creature of the night.

And heartless, I fall."

Rick sat back and finished off his iced tea. "I didn't know Clay wrote at all, let alone anything so dark. Think its anything to be concerned about?" 

 

Understand more

Pulling a chair out Hope sits down listening to Gunner again. Hearing what happened on his way home she  understood a little better what might be going on and how it was very possible that Gunner had a psychotic break. After having something like that throw into your face it was very possible.

   "I can see how something like that could of made you break down. Having something like that thrown in your face can do that when its traumatic."

Tapping her fingers on the counter for a second. This whole thing took a new turn now. A different direction but at least Hope understood why now. She anger was a little less, and there was much more understanding. If Gunner had only said this from the start than she would of been able to work with this sooner.

   "Being alone right now I dont think is a good thing Gunner. Not because I think you would intentionally hurt yourself, but on mistake. Leave a stove on, fall down the steps, or anything like that."

Hope takes another breath. She did what should could to let Gunner know she didn't think he would mean to hard himself seeing as that was on of the big issues he kept saying. She just wanted to make sure he was going to be ok.

   "Maybe you could stay with JT for a little bit."