9/23/12

Been a while...

Seeing Grace smile, Jared feels a sense of relief - she hadn't minded his affection. She approved. 

Caressing her cheek with his thumb, he finally draws back, still holding her hand and giving it an extra squeeze. Did he really have feelings for her? Feelings deeper than friendship? Yes... he did. 

Leaning back against the wall again, he turns his focus back to the photos, leaving the moment with Grace to remain where it was - in the past, not to be spoiled by explanation or justification. It was what it was - nothing more, nothing less. 

"And this was a trip to the zoo apparently." Jared arcs an eyebrow at a picture of him hanging off a monkey statue. "But I... don't remember that." He grins, settling in closer to Grace. "Justin was always the quirker, not me. Must've been a rare moment."


Nate's question seems to go unnoticed for a moment as Jaz furrows her brow. "Con... as in Con Gibbs?" She'd heard about him - bad from the Agency, good from Carson. Wasn't his wife the one Carson had something to do with right before changing sides? Jaz couldn't remember. But if that was the case, maybe they didn't like Carson. And if they didn't like Carson, then there was a good chance they wouldn't like her. But if Con had seemed positive then...

Bringing her thoughts back into focus, she looks at Nate for a moment, hoping she could trust him as much as she felt she could. "Um... I'll... I'll come with you to TJY." Standing, she runs a hand through her hair trying to think of all she might need. At least her tears were dry for now. She wouldn't make Nate stay here though - he had better things to do. "Just... give me a couple minutes to throw a bag together in case I don't get back here right away."

It really didn't take her much longer than those couple minutes to gather a couple sets of clothes and a few personal items, thrown into a backpack. After all, she didn't have that much to begin with. After slipping on a pair of flipflops and pulling her hair back into a low ponytail, she finds Nate again, backpack slung over her shoulder. "Okay... I'm ready, and... thank you. I really appreciate this." 


"The nice thing is, that it doesn't matter where we've been or how far off the path we've strayed. He's still there waiting - unmoving and unchanging. No matter what we've done, His love and forgiveness covers it. And despite what we may think, He always wants us to talk to Him, no matter what we're feeling, good or bad. For me... well, I guess I learned a while back that life was a whole lot easier when I let Him share my burdens, rather than trying to do it all myself. I could handle a lot - but not enough. He didn't mind that it took me so long to realize it, and He was more than willing to take me in and give me the peace I'd needed but fought for so many years." 

Hunter sits under the tree in the pasture, his eyes watching the clouds roll by. It felt like just yesterday he and Katie were sitting here... yet almost like a lifetime as well. Time was funny. In a way though, the way he was feeling, it almost did seem as though a lifetime had passed for him. The way he thought... the way he processed things... the way he felt deep inside.

Mick's words from the day before had come back to him. Hunter had been helping him fix the hay baler and conversation had somehow turned to God. It was one of the few times Hunter had been willing to discuss it and... Mick really had made a lot of sense. Whether or not he had though, there was an undeniable ache in the pit of Hunter's heart, and he knew good and well what it was from. He'd known all along - he'd just been unwilling to admit it. 

Squinting at the sunlight sky, he sighs deeply. He'd realized many things over the last few weeks. Things about himself. About why he did some of the things he did. About issues he'd avoided for so long. His parents - his father in particular. Kyle. His drinking. Having felt little love growing up and having been rejected as he was, it was no wonder he reacted the way he did to any rejection after that. It just... hadn't made sense until now. It was no wonder he'd overreacted with Kyle - with Alice and the whole Break Out incident. His wanderings all had to do with him running away from what he was really feeling. And his drinking... it was just a lousy habit of trying to numb what he'd thought were just surface feelings - when in reality it had been the deeper wounds he'd been trying to bury. 

It all made sense now. He'd just never thought through it before. He'd never taken the time to look at his hurt and figure out why it was there to begin with. And now that answers were falling into place... there was just one more piece missing. One more thing to do before true healing could begin. Before he could start letting go of the things he needed to.

"God... I know it's been a while..."


"So you dating him, or what?" Colt crunches on a potato chip, sitting with Ariel in the grass by the pasture fence as they ate lunch. 

Ariel shrugs and takes a sip from her water bottle. "Naw. I mean, we've gone out a few times, but that's it. Last I knew, he still hadn't decided if he was even staying or going back to Mexico - not exactly something I want to get involved with if he's just gonna take off." 

Colt quirks an eyebrow. "He's still staying with the Elite?" 

"Yeah. I don't think he likes it, so I don't know why he won't make up his mind. They've even offered to help him find his own place."

"Hmm. Sounds like he would rather go back home to me."

"I can't tell." Ariel finishes of her sandwich, chewing thoughtfully. "He's got an awfully thick wall. Every once in a while I see through it and get a glimmer of the guy inside, but then he's right back to hiding himself." 

"Maybe he has a lot to hide." 

Ariel smirks at her brother. "You still don't like him, do you?" 

"Well, first impressions do a lot." Colt recalls seeing Trey drunk at Ariel's place. "What I see is a spoiled guy with little self-control and who is taking advantage of his situation by living free until he can get his butt in gear and make up his mind for himself. Maybe if he had his mommy, he'd-" Colt stops short as he receives a whack over the head - a hard one. "Ouch!" 

Ariel scowls at him. "Must you be so doggone negative all the time?"

"I just call it as I see it." Colt rubs his head. "Maybe that was harsh, but you know I'm picky when it comes to guys who hit on my sister." 

Ariel can't help her grin. "And if I wasn't your sister?" 

Colt shrugs. "Then I'd say he's a guy who seems to have little direction, and I'd feel kinda bad for him."

"Hmm." Ariel is skeptical, but she accepts it. 

Colt munches on a couple more chips, squinting out across the pasture. He always enjoyed the days when his sister could join him at the stable... even if he might not admit it aloud. "Think he'd like to come to the church picnic?" 

"Don't know. I can ask though." Ariel gives him a sidelong glance, her grin returning. "You ol' softy, you." 

Colt's lips curl into a smile. "Just don't tell anybody. Might ruin my reputation."

Ariel scoffs. "Don't fool yourself - everybody knows you're a softy."


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