Surgery

Rocky grins again.

rockin_gts: I gave up on the night life when I had to start getting up early for a real job. I guess it doesn't stop me from staying up with the owls now and again though.

He used to think meeting people online was for the birds... what depth could there be? Not that this was a deep conversation, but he had to admit it was better than lying awake in bed trying to count sheep. Who knew - this might be the first and last online chat with Thundercat5. He cocks his head at the train of thought leaning towards cats.

rockin_gts: Sassy, huh? Reminds me of Homeward Bound.

rockin_gts: Yep, just me and Puzzle around here. I let him think he rules the roost. Wouldn't want to burst his bubble.

And he'd just admitted he lived alone. It really was easy to give away information when having a light conversation.

rockin_gts: I'd put his picture on my profile, but then people might think I was the one with the whiskers. Not that I don't need a shave... ;-)

Okay, that was dumb. It really must be late. Lame humor and late hours seemed to go hand-in-hand.


Carson wishes there was more he could say to Ryan, but what words would really do any good? He simply didn't know what else to say. Unfortunately, the silence in the car only helped increase his own inner turmoil. He had thought nothing of Alec... he had disliked him from the beginning... he hadn't wanted him around his family and he hadn't trusted him. But today... seeing him shot and on the brink of death... something else had stirred inside of him. It was a similar feeling to wanting to believe Alec was innocent. How quickly things changed. And yet there were still so many questions.

The drive back to Nevada seemed to take forever. Carson didn't want to stop and rest, but he knew it was best. A couple stopovers for a few hours was all he needed though, and they continued on their route. About halfway home, a call from Reese came through to let them know that Alec had stabilized enough for them to fly him to Franklin Hospital in North Springs where he would undergo a second surgery. By the time Carson and Ryan made it back into North Springs the next night, another call had come through that Alec was still in the ICU but stable and asleep. The doctors seemed positive, but wouldn't commit to saying he'd be okay.

Stopped at a red light, Carson rubs his tired eyes. He gives Ryan a sidelong glance, wondering again how she must be feeling. He didn't know if she wanted to be at the hospital or if she'd rather just stay home. If it were him, he'd probably want to turn and not look back, but that was him. He himself would probably stop by the hospital, go check in at TJY and leave a report, then finally go home, which would get him in bed somewhere around midnight... if he was lucky. But first, he would drop Ryan off at her apartment and then she could take whatever direction she wanted. First though...

"Ryan, I... I never told you..." He sighs as the light turns green and they start forward again across town. "Alec, he... stepped in front of that bullet on purpose." He shrugs. "I guess I don't know what difference it makes but, um... I know that feeling... of wanting everything to end, and it's a pretty miserable spot where even if someone pretends to be in control and better than everyone else... inside, all they're doing is falling to pieces."

He wasn't sure what all that meant or if Ryan even cared. Maybe deep down he was still trying to hang on to a thread of hope that Alec wasn't really the man who had met them in that hotel hallway. "I'm... sorry... that things turned out like they did." He shakes his head. "I should have known better - I did know better but just ignored the facts."

Pulling into the apartment lot, he parks but leaves the engine running. "I know it hurts so I'm not gonna say I hope it doesn't... but I will say I hope it doesn't last too long. You got a lot of guts and a bigger heart than you let most people see."


Inside the apartment, Eli is stretched out on the couch, only halfway paying attention to the television. He stops himself from looking at the clock again. Reese had said that Ryan and Carson were on their way back... so that meant they were and they were okay... right?

Growling at his own worry and impatience, he rolls off the couch and goes to the kitchen only to find that he'd already downed the last beer. Going back to the living room empty-handed, he sits down again and waits. He'd thought of a million and one things he'd like to say to Ryan once she got home... like how stupid she'd been... how idiotic it had been for her to run off... how he'd always known Alec was bad news and she should have listened... how she'd worried him sick... But in the end, Eli knew good and well that none of those words would ever be spoken. He knew that right now, all that mattered was getting Ryan back home safe and sound. Any harsh words would be swallowed up by relief and all he'd be able to tell her was that he was glad she was safe.

His eyes roam to the clock again.


"I feel fine, Rick." Jason spits out the thermometer and hands it back to him as he sits on the infirmary table, ready to leave for the day. "Just let me start work tomorrow."

Rick gives him a reprimanding look. "Tired? Achy? Irritable?"

Jason shrugs. "A little, so what?"

"So that's not 'fine,' that's what." Rick bops him on the head with his clipboard as he makes a few more notes. They'd been back in Nevada several days now, but Rick had insisted on Jason taking a break a little while longer. He was recovering - slowly, but recovering nonetheless. Unfortunately, the real battle was far from over. "You know as well as I do that this thing isn't gone. It might be better for the both of us if you quit pretending."

Jason sighs. "Maybe pretending is the only thing keeping me from worrying."

"About yourself?"

"About Katie." Jason manages a faint smile. "I know the antidote could keep her alive if I was gone but... I know it would be a living nightmare for her too. At the same time, without the antidote, she lives every ache and pain I have, if I let her. She might not be in actual physical danger - I know her pain is just a mirror of mine and not actually hers. But that would be enough to drive anyone mad. I just worry about her."

Rick purses his lips and sets a hand on Jason's knee. "Misty and I are gonna do all we can. You're stable enough now that if you and Katie want off the antidote... I think you'd be okay. But I'd need you to take it easy and try not to get too riled up about anything."

Jason rolls his eyes. "Does that mean I don't have to come back in here again?"

"Very funny." Rick backs off and glances at his chart. "And I'd want you to stop holding things back from Katie."

"What?"

"You heard me." Rick eyes him knowingly. "I know you don't let her feel all your worry. You don't let her get the full force of your pain. When your knee hurts you don't let her feel it. When you get upset, you don't give her a full dose. But right now, any amount, no matter how small, of emotions you let build up, will just lead to another attack faster. And you can't afford very many more of those."

"Aw, Rick."

"I mean it, Hotshot. Katie wouldn't mind."

"Yeah, well some things I feel are personal, ya know?"

"Are they negative?"

"Not... not generally." Jason's face reddens slightly. "Well not everything I keep from her is negative."

Rick grins a little. "Alright, if it's not bad, you have my permission to keep it to yourself. But if it's negative especially, I want you to let that door swing wide open. Don't bottle anything up right now. We need to slow this thing down, and right now that's the only thing I can think of." He shrugs. "If you want to try it you can. But if you start having trouble, you're going back on the antidote. As far as work goes, we'll have to see, but if the stress makes things worse, I'll take you off again."

"But-"

"Unless you've got a death wish."

Jason wished it wasn't as serious as that, but he knew it was. Finally, he nods. "I'll talk to Katie about it."

"Alright. Let me know what you guys decide. If you opt to get off the antidote, you guys should be getting your connection back tomorrow night or so. If not, be sure you stop in here for another dose in the morning."

"Yeah, okay." Jason slides off the table and aims for the door. "See ya."

"Goodnight." Rick starts back to work, but then pauses again. "Oh, and Hotshot... don't forget I've got you scheduled next week for that surgery at the hospital."

"As if I could forget." Jason sighs and limps down the hallway, heading for the quiet main floor. The pain in his knee was probably the worst thing at this point... and not having an actual explanation of why damage had been caused just made it all the more hard to deal with. Staying on the antidote was starting to get tiresome. Going off of it might kill him.

He sighs again and tries to forget it all, at least for a little while. It felt weird being at TJY but not working. He didn't like it. Especially when he couldn't feel Katie. It all just felt wrong. Not only did he not have her to talk to, but he had nothing else to do either and it was driving him stir crazy. The good news was that it didn't seem his seizures back in Texas had done any real damage, and his body was taking care of itself for the most part. The bad news was not knowing when the next attack might be or how severe - not to mention the recovery time for his knee and how long he might be out of work from that anyway. Rick should be glad for an excuse to keep him down though. Trying to hide his tired eyes, he continues his slow route.

"Pssst." Jason leans over Katie's cubicle wall, his leather jacket creaking. Reaching down, he flips over the papers she was working on. "It's late. I'm hungry. I'm lonely. Gonna join me for supper and a movie at my place, or do I have to drag you out of here?" He gives her a wry grin. "Say yes, 'cause otherwise I'll have to walk home since you drove us here."