Genuinely confused

Following Beth to the living room, Justin slips into his usual role, leaving behind his own self for a while in order to concentrate on Beth and her needs. Sitting with her on the couch, but leaving a comfortable amount of room between them, he pays close attention to her and the pictures, nodding, smiling and commenting as they go along. He was very pleased at how well she was doing as it was obvious in her eyes that this was much harder for her than she might let on. She was being very brave, and Justin knew that this was good for her to do. Revisiting old memories could be very painful at first, but he hoped that one day, even though sadness would still linger, the pain would subside into peace within herself.

Reaching the family photo, Justin's eyes roam the happy faces. To anyone on the outside, they would seem like the perfect family. There were many fond memories here - happy ones. But underneath all that were ugly truths that marred the memories even if some were good.

Hearing Beth's voice quiver, Justin looks up quickly, suddenly realizing that this exercise had finally gotten to her. Seeing the tears begin to roll down her cheeks, his heart ached in a strange way. He was quite capable of turning off that reaction when he was with clients, but for some reason, just the way she looked sitting here, so sad and in so much pain, he almost seemed helpless against his own emotions. Maybe right now she did need a friend and not a counselor.

Seeing that the tears weren't stopping, Justin hesitates then slowly slides closer until he was next to her. Then gently, cautiously, he slips his arm around her shoulders and pulls her close, offering his strength to her. If she resisted a man's touch, he would back off. But as long as she allowed it, he knew she needed someone else right now... someone to share her burden... someone whose shoulder could be cried on without criticism.

"Shhh... it's okay," he whispers.

Giving her a little squeeze, he cocks his head so it rests against hers. "You're okay... you're doing great."

Real comfort. That's what he was giving. It was different than just sitting across from someone in a stark room and giving them advice. She was warm. Soft. Needing someone there for her. He could be strong... be there for her. Closing his eyes, the sweet smell of Beth's shampoo wafts to his nostrils and he breathes in deeply, just taking it in... taking her in. She wasn't just a stranger with a problem. She was a woman with a broken heart that was being mended piece by piece.

Justin's eyes fly open and an odd tingle runs down his spine, his stomach twisting slightly and his heart thumping. He forces himself not to move though, willing his body not to tense, even though his mind suddenly had. He needed to focus here. Focus. He was here for a purpose. He was here to just be a shoulder. Nothing else. He needed to be more careful and this was a stark reminder of that fact.

"Shhh," he comforts again quietly, rocking slightly and praying that she didn't sense a change in him. If she wanted to talk more, she would, but he wouldn't pressure her. This was a big thing for her, and she really had done well.


Having been so distracted, Susanne is startled by the man's voice and she jumps a little, looking to him quickly. "Um..." Realizing that this man, this... very.... handsome... man.... had seen her outside made her a bit flustered and her cheeks flush.

"No... I mean yes, I'm fine. Um, thank you." She shakes her head. "I don't need to call anyone - I could have arrested that hooligan myself but I figured the lesson was good enough." Only now when she shifts does her Elite badge become visible under her jacket as it was clipped to her belt.

Trying to move on and feeling quite silly, she rummages in her purse and pulls out a tattered piece of paper with a scribbled classic rock band name and album title. "I've been looking for this album and can't find it anywhere. I guess it bombed and so no more were made, but I liked it and my copy, um... broke." She looks up at him sheepishly. "Actually it got run over by my car, but that's a long story. Anyway, I can't even get it online and any stores I've gone to haven't had it in stock for several years."

Still feeling quite flustered, her pager on her belt beeps and she looks at it with annoyance. It was TJY. "And... I need to get back to work." She sighs. This was not her day and she was sure she looked like she'd already been through the mill today. Quite embarrassing to say the least. "Do you know off the top of your head if you've got this? Or if you think you might, I can come back later." She glances around, not realizing she was talking a mile a minute as she usually did when stressed. "What time do you close?"


Alec hadn't been ready for Carson to actually say yes. On a normal day, her comment to Carson about him being stupid if he pulled anything would have irritated him. But right now, he was too surprised to feel that way.

He blinks and has to take a moment to get his mouth to work again in order to answer her. "Um... okay. I'll... stick around and help Dalton out for a few hours or something."

Standing up, he considers her question, then shakes his head. "I'll eat most anything on account of my tastebuds." He doubted that anyone around here had noticed that similarity between him and Gage yet, and he shrugs "'Cause of the drugs from the Agency. They do something to your taste and it doesn't kill the tastebuds but kinda knocks things outta whack. 'Cept strong stuff... that's why I suck on lemons."

Feeling he'd just rambled again, he pauses awkwardly. "So yeah... whatever is good with me."

Turning around, he heads for the door. "Five o'clock," he repeats. Out in the hall, he wanders back to Dalton's office and peers in to make sure Dani is gone before entering. Seeing the big man alone, he goes ahead. "I guess I'm all yours for a while if you can use me."

Wandering to the chair, he flops down and stairs at the blank screen for a moment. "Why would... someone want to spend time with me?" He wonders aloud. "Dani hates me... Carson wants me gone... but you don't... and Misty just asked me to have supper with her."

He finally looks up to search Dalton's eyes. He really was genuinely confused. "I don't understand."


As the call ends, Kip sighs and puts his phone back in his pocket. By the time he saw Karla later, he'd be able to push aside everything else in order to have a good time... right? He hoped so. Right now he felt like crap and wasn't quite sure how to deal with it...


Karla's information to the group raises a few eyebrows, but no one seems to think it's too strange. Kip had his own quirks an they all had learned that most of the time it wasn't worth trying to figure out all of them.

Conversation does return to normal though, and nothing more is said about Kip. Each in their own minds were processing and trying to think of ways to help without hurting their friend.


...Kip lies back on his bed and stares up at the ceiling. Now that he was the only one left at Gram and Gramps', they'd given him the spare room on the ground floor where their grandchildren used to stay, instead of the basement. It was a nice little room and they'd said he could stay as long as he needed. Lying here usually made him feel comfortable and good, but today it didn't. Today, all he wanted to do was go find a hole somewhere and crawl in. He still didn't blame the band... and he really wasn't surprised. But it still hurt. He was the one holding everybody else back and it wasn't fair to them.

He hears the clock in the living room chime and knew it was five o'clock. Karla would be here soon probably. He should get some nicer jeans on or something at least, but his body felt like dead weight.

"Kip?"

He looks quickly to the door and sits up, seeing Gram. He liked it that he could call her Gram just like Kyle did. She and Gramps both treated him like their own grandson, and that's something that was new to him, but it made him feel good. "Yeah?"

"I made some cookies," Gram offers. She cocks her head and studies his face. "You look like you could use some warm, gooey goodness."

Kip manages a smile but he shakes his head. "Thanks but... I think I'll pass. You know what too much sugar does for me."

Gram chuckles and folds her arms, leaning on the doorway. "You and Kyle," she muses. "'Course when he refuses one of my cookies, even if he's resisting sugar, I know something's up." She looks into Kip's eyes, noting that he looked away quickly. "Everything okay? I thought you were going to spend the day with the band."

"I... I was. I mean, I did." He digs his bare toe into the carpet and sighs. "Maybe I will take that cookie."

Gram studies him for another moment before coming into the room and sitting down on the bed next to him. "Want to talk about it?"

Kip shakes his head. "Not really. I guess sometimes I just get tired of being me."

"Never do that," Gram chides gently. "We can all improve, sure. But never dislike you for being you. God made you just the way you are so that you'll fit perfectly into a niche he's made just for you."

"But what if I fail at fitting into that niche?"

"Then you have to decide if it's something you just need to work on, or if you're really not meant to be there. Or perhaps you do fit and you're just having trouble feeling it." Gram cocks her head, waiting until Kip looks at her. "Sometimes we don't even see our purpose until we look back on it later in life. But if you're truly where God wants you, you'll know." She reaches out and places a hand over his heart. "This is the Kip that matters. Whether you're off with a fantastic band and heard on the radio, or whether you're flipping burgers downtown... this is the Kip you have to learn to love. It's not what you do with your hands... it's what you do with your heart. And you... you have an amazing heart."

Kip bites his lip, feeling his emotions welling beneath the surface. Trying to understand what she was saying, but still replaying what he'd overheard earlier... it was a conflict and he didn't know what to believe.

Gram gives his shoulder a pat before rising and slowly leaving the room. "The cookies are on the kitchen counter if you want any."

Once she's gone, Kip just sits alone. Gram maybe liked his heart but... but if he still let the band down, it would still be a failure. Swallowing hard and biting back his emotions, he rises and heads to the kitchen. He'd eat a cookie just because she'd so nicely offered them to him. Then Karla would probably show up soon.